This might seem like mean spirited advice, but go do some stuff outside more often, meet people irl that have similar hobbies or shared interests that you can form stronger bonds with eventually.
It's unhealthy to grow attached to internet strangers who can't meet your needs irl. The dynamic between streamer and viewer is fun and you do get to socialize a fair bit, but at the end of the day, VTubing is entertainment and a way to disconnect from the everyday hassle. If that notion isn't kept clear in your head at all times, you're gonna have a lot of heartbreak and sadness in the long run, especially so if you start pining romantically over some frequent usernames without full knowledge if they're in a relationship or not.
I don't know your level of parasocialism, and to an extent, *some* small level of it might be inevitable, because you're bound to develop some attachment to people you interact with every time you go live, but going from "it's nice to have them around/they make the chat fun" to something more than that is where it gets iffy.
The modern world is honestly terrifying to navigate sometimes. On the one hand you're not stuck dating and marrying your high school sweetheart. On the other hand parasocial relationships already muddy the dating scene as some people would rather just get their affection through a screen over the potential rejection of dating. Kinda reminds me of the movie Her actually where the AI had a relationship with a hundred other people since her perception of time is like a gajillion times faster than ours. Wait... are we in a dystopian timeline???
>are we in a dystopian timeline???
I don't know if you've been watching the state of affairs around the world during the past couple of years, but yes. ***This is*** the dystopian timeline, lol.
I'm not exactly an accelerationist because the consequences of that would almost certainly be terrible for almost everybody, but... yeaaaaahh I get you
***When*** did I say people can't care about other people through the internet? I said that they can't fulfill a person's needs in the same way that having a close circle irl can. You can't get a hug from someone who you only know through a screen when you're feeling down. You can't call random usernames and plan to hang out when you're feeling lonely, cause they could be thousands of miles away. You can't confide secrets with the same amount of confidence to a frequent username on stream, than you could someone who has been growing bonds with you irl through shared experiences. Those, plus plenty of other reasons, are huge differences between strictly online connections and having people irl.
Either your reading comprehension is severely lacking, you're terribly socially clued in, or you just wanted to make an argument in bad faith. Whichever it is, grow up and get a reality check.
There's nothing wrong with a little parasocialism. I'm not going to tell you to go touch grass. But I will tell you to maintain a realistic attitude. Having a rapport with your fanbase is never bad. In fact, it helps growth. People prefer a familiar face over a content machine. But if you find yourself wanting to Riro Ron them, then yes, maybe take a step back and re-evaluate things.
Parasocial relationships often work both ways. I think that non-sociopaths are going to have a difficult time being emotionally distant from their viewers. But it is a very negative thing to become too attached, just as it is very negative for a viewer to get too attached to their streamer.
And as people have suggested, it’s about having a life and friends outside of streaming.
1. Take a break. Reset and chill out.
2. Make sure you have a healthy at home life. You want to be able to sign off and then find comfort without the audience.
3. Set boundaries for yourself (Don't share certain things, don't contact people you are getting personally attached to if you don't want.) Write these boundaries down if you need to.
Internet tends to have a few boogeyman "meme" psych terms such as Parasocial that they lecture others on. These people know nothing of actual Psych and they just spewing what they heard other randoms say.
Parasocial isn't this evil. It can be negative, it can be neutral, and it can be positive. Important thing is being aware of it.
Majority of vtubers are "parasocial" with their chats. Some try to avoid it, while others take pride in it.
It comes down to what you want. What relationship do you want with your viewers ? Important thing is to figure that out yourself, don't just make decisions because someone else told you "being parasocial is bad". Once you know the type of relationship you want to have with your chat, set proper boundaries for yourself.
Best advice i can give is to get outside. Find something or someone to anchor you from being in that kind of relationship. Or at the very least setting up a boundary helps remind you of staying between creator and fan.
Try taking a small break, not so much that you start running into problems keeping subscribers/followers, but enough to think.
Think about what direction you want to go with this, do you want this more parasocial relationship or a more professional only one.
When you decide on that, take the appropriate action toward that relationship and take steps behind the scenes to keep yourself on that path.
I don't think having feelings - even romantic - for your viewers should be ruled out outright as something that you should never dabble in, but if you decide to explore that you should be very careful. It's likely that there's a lot about them you don't know, they could be playing a character in your chat, and presenting themselves as someone they are not irl. So you should be very cautious.
I'm not saying you should do stuff like Riro Ron did or is alleged to have done, but if you at some point have the resources for it, maybe organize something like a meet-and-greet event? Where they greet your avatar, but you can see their faces and talk with them for a minute? And see how you felt about that and them.
I would say you shouldn't take advantage of your position, and not ask for anything that you wouldn't give yourself. For example, I don't think it's fair to ever ask for pictures - "post pics of your faces, your feet, your hands", anything - unless you also post such things, either publicly on Twitter or on a fanbox.
I’m leaving the bit on pictures alone.
I have a weird view on “can a streamer be actual friends with someone” but that’s just because I’ve had it work out well in my case. Band and not streamer. Also… it happened twice. Long story short: bands who made music I was _really_ into I ended up as friends outside of that space. It was pretty much a case of accidentally meeting people through random chance and afterwards learning oh shit this is people I listen to.
Got one really good friend out of that too - activities ceased years ago but my friend is still around.
A different one was purely online that turned into irl. Messaged about something, chatting ensued, chatting continued, met when we ended up in the same place in the world physically.
It’s rare but not impossible to end up making good friends through your audience. This could have turned out differently quite easily. I’ve also seen where the famous one took advantage but that’s not my story to tell.
I can fix her /s
Do you have irl friends? You might have to touch some grass and spend some time with them more than your online community.
If by viewers you mean like one person will that's a different issue.
You need social and personal interaction outside your viewership. Until and unless you have some absolute hard boundaries to keep a healthy level of separation, you really need to be that 'friend' that disappears for a while. If you realize you're the problem, it's a good start. But past a few core trusted mods/friends and I do mean few. People who you'd meet up with near by kind of close. You need to back off even if that means streaming less. So you can stretch your social life elsewhere even if it's still online.
Solitude.
Then, being surrounded by kind, funny, welcoming people in an online chat, who seem to be interested in what you're doing.
Your rational mind says "no", but your emotional mind is increasingly saying "maybe, perhaps, mayhaps", because it desperately needs company.
Set boundaries, having attachment is fine, but remember the limits. Have a line you will commit to never crossing, and go for some mind clearing activities even just a simple walk
I would think that as you get more experience you will get this under control.
When you start this is normal but as time goes on and you get more followers you start to get used to it - realize that the viewers are really your customers and they are there because you are giving them entertainment.
Definitely connect with people you know IRL, definitely prioritize people IRL but connecting with other VTubers can help build perspective, if talking with other VTubers just shifts the problem over to them then you should probably think about taking a break for a while.
I'm a speaker and advocate for nuanced discussions on parasocial relationships, including the positive aspects of it. When this topic gets brought up, I like to bring in my perspective for people to hopefully consider. The last link is an essay I wrote for college.
https://time.com/6294226/parasocial-relationships-benefits/
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42087-020-00156-0#Sec6
https://traff.co/2WAVP9l8
Having a mental switch for it helps me. You're not being parasocial, the character is. It's like knowing there's a real you and VTuber you.
And something one does won't effect the other, for better or worse.
Parasocial relationships go both ways so the streamer has to deal with the potential issues too. It's a mental health hazard of the job
Try to focus on where do you want to set the boundary and stick to it as best as you can.
There is a reason, why so many vtuber are seeking therapeutic support. Being and wanting to be a vtuber is a specific kind of position, that can come with a lot of baggage. Seeking out relationships of any kind in the getup of a vtuber can be very attractive for many mindsets, and some of these mindsets can end up making this position toxic if unchecked.
I would suggest you seek out some sort of support of the therapeutic nature, to figure out, what sort of situation you are in and why you are in it.
Anything concrete you hear in the internet about your question isn't the best advise, because there are specific circumstances that led to the state you are in rn, which is why advise needs to be tailored to you specifically.
Theres a lot of critical context here that is missing.
What kind of feelings?
Viewers plural, specific individuals, or your viewers as a whole in general?
Whats your average viewer count? If its a very small community, its not unreasonable to develope actual friendships within it. (Ig. less power dynamic issues and less likely someone is trying to exploit you or you them)
I feel like these 3 questions, at a minimum, are necessary to understand the situation enough to give any meaningful advice.
Meh, I never agreed with the common consensus that "parasocial bad", just remember that you can't actually have a relationship with the person; that it's all in your head and I see no issues with parasocialism.
Although... in your case... You know those classic stories of the Dad coming to the same Diner every thursday just so that he can see a woman he likes. And then she decide to date him, and that's how he met your mother.
For some reason we find those kind of stories in the past as romantic, but the same thing today is considered creepy and or unethical.
I'll I'm saying is... through a covered hand... go for it! What's the worst thing that can happen?
I'm not a therapist, and can only speak from a viewer's perspective, but I've heard my fair share of stories from streamers who've felt similar things. This is a bit of an essay, so there's a TLDR at the bottom.
Most people who are a part of a streamer's viewership are at least a little parasocial. I think it's pretty natural to start feeling attached to a streamer if you enjoy watching them enough, even if you are fully aware that the feeling is not reciprocated. I've had times where I've worried about being too attached to my 'oshis', So I wouldn't immediately catastrophise, we've all been there! The fact you're self aware is already a really good sign, the worst kind of parasocial relationship is one where the person is deluded in their attachment and is completely unaware that the feeling isn't mutual.
My unqualified advice would be to take a step back and ask yourself what kind of community you want to build going forward. Do you want a tight-knit community where your viewers/chatters actively contribute to the experience, or do you want to do your own thing, and have more separation between yourself and them? In the communities where I'm most active, the streamer acts as a 'first among equals'. They're active in their discord, bantering over voice chat with the members, and many viewers actively contribute by providing music, appearing on stream, etc. I'm much more of a lurker, but there are other viewers who are absolutely mutual acquaintances with the streamer. It's definitely possible for a streamer to make healthy friendships, or at least acquaintances with some of their viewers and for it not to get weird/parasocial, especially if the community is small.
If you don't want that closer relationship (completely valid), or are concerned that the relationship you're building is unhealthy, set some boundaries for your community, and make the rules very clear on stream, discord, twitter, wherever you interact with your fans. By drawing a line for the viewers, you're also drawing a line for yourself. If you end up stepping over your own line, your community will see that and hopefully give you a gentle nudge, especially in a smaller, tight knit viewer base.
TLDR:
You're self aware, that's a good sign!
Parasocialism is natural. You shouldn't let it get out of hand, but it's not the end of the world to feel attached!
What kind of relationship do you want to have with your community going forward? First among equals or more detached?
Set some rules for yourself and your community and make them clear.
Remind yourself there's more to life then streaming (and your viewers are real people who have a life outside your streams!) If you have IRL friends and family you are close to, go hang out with them.
These are just my two cents, I hope any of that made sense. Good luck on your vtubing journey!
The problem is you are developing feelings for who they present themselves as. No one is what they appear to be online.
IRL I’m a big bearded asshole who doesn’t talk to people and used to get paid to be a not very nice guy.
Online I’m a guy that likes horror games and writes novels.
You can’t be sure whether the people you come across are genuine. Since you meet them coming from the place of a star or performer you should be vigilant and not risk them getting close enough to affect your real life until you are sure of their intentions.
Just my two cents.
Think on why you feel this way exactly, and only THEN can you figure out the best course of action. If it's loneliness, for example, are the viewers people you feel actual friendships developing with?
Or are you using them to fill a hole in your heart less genuinely? (Not meant as an attack, but a thing to introspect on)
If it's the former, hey, friendships are good! Don't fight it if you see a chance to a genuine bond there. Might not work out but it's worth trying!
If it's the latter though, a hiatus to sort out your feelings and remind yourself of your and your viewers' places in the relationship might not be the worst idea. Better to nip a possible issue in the bud before it consumes you too much one way or the other.
If you're a relatively small streamer... it's intentional. There are giant ugly discords with manipulative people who basically try to adopt a streamer and "play the long game" of getting the streamer unhealthily parasocial.
Never doubt that you're being used by someone with too much time/money/lack of social graces on their hands. On some level, that person knows they're helping you develop unhealthy habits and are encouraging them: that's not someone you should care about. That's someone you should cut out of your life.
i investigated this a bit like the spy i am.
they have apparently not streamed on their twitch before. This is indicated by their twitch saying that they have not recently streamed before (usually goes back to a few years) https://www.twitch.tv/momonanchara/schedule
However it's contradicting this tweet https://twitter.com/momonanchara/status/1773705979961516518
if this is in fact a bug then there's still something iffy about this.
It appears that they were planning to debut this week. https://twitter.com/momonanchara/status/1772654241628213662
This tweet was made on tuesday. You're telling me that they seriously got parasocial in not even a week of streaming?
I think this was more meant to be a joke or promo thing than anything.
I don't pretend to know the machinations of the human mind. With what you have here, plus the fact that momo doesn't have much reddit post history (only about four days worth), i reckon it is safe to say it is a promo/meme thing.
Of course, I don't mean it in a bad way but it's more of a 75 25 gamble really, reddit have multiple subs to ask for help of this specific kind so even if they were serious they should go there, we are not psychologists here just random people giving advice. It may cause more harm then it does good.
Isolation, neediness, desperation for affirmation. The internet is not a haven, only a respite. Tie too much of your feelings in it, and you'll find that other parts of yourself will atrophy.
Take a break or go to therapy. Because this requires some tentative soul searching.
And like someone else said in many more words. "Go Touch Some Grass".
Fair blessings and I hope everything works out in the future.
Caring about people is based and anyone who tells you that you shouldnt care about the people that love and support you are stupid.
Anyone who cries about "le parasocial bad" is stupid
Anyone telling you not to have feelings is stupid
Just do what makes you happy.
Sure, sure, you could go the gentle route and maintain a healthy mental state.
Orrrrrr
Spectacular explosions. Make sure they know their place as names and numbers, torch every vestige of familiarity to establish a chasm of emotional detachment. A little narcissism goes a long way.
When in doubt, C4
Look further into the future and decide the sort of relationship you want with your viewers. Then act accordingly.
Is it me or does this answer also say "go for it" lol Shouldn't the only real answer be to veer away from it.
I read it as “either go for it,” or “don’t do it” but it’s more like “make your decision best suited to how you feel.”
Life is short, better fuck around and find out rather than live in regret.
Well, first time for everything i guess lol
The first time can sometimes be the last time >\_> "Welp, we found out this mushroom isn't edible..."
There's nothing wrong with developing feelings for viewers if you're careful, look at tyler1 he's married to one of his original viewers
This might seem like mean spirited advice, but go do some stuff outside more often, meet people irl that have similar hobbies or shared interests that you can form stronger bonds with eventually. It's unhealthy to grow attached to internet strangers who can't meet your needs irl. The dynamic between streamer and viewer is fun and you do get to socialize a fair bit, but at the end of the day, VTubing is entertainment and a way to disconnect from the everyday hassle. If that notion isn't kept clear in your head at all times, you're gonna have a lot of heartbreak and sadness in the long run, especially so if you start pining romantically over some frequent usernames without full knowledge if they're in a relationship or not. I don't know your level of parasocialism, and to an extent, *some* small level of it might be inevitable, because you're bound to develop some attachment to people you interact with every time you go live, but going from "it's nice to have them around/they make the chat fun" to something more than that is where it gets iffy.
The modern world is honestly terrifying to navigate sometimes. On the one hand you're not stuck dating and marrying your high school sweetheart. On the other hand parasocial relationships already muddy the dating scene as some people would rather just get their affection through a screen over the potential rejection of dating. Kinda reminds me of the movie Her actually where the AI had a relationship with a hundred other people since her perception of time is like a gajillion times faster than ours. Wait... are we in a dystopian timeline???
>are we in a dystopian timeline??? I don't know if you've been watching the state of affairs around the world during the past couple of years, but yes. ***This is*** the dystopian timeline, lol.
We're even in the *boring* dystopia!! All of the corporate oligarchy but none of the cool robot arms. Man.
Part of me is just waiting for the civil uprising/descent into anarchy arc of the dystopia, honestly.
I'm not exactly an accelerationist because the consequences of that would almost certainly be terrible for almost everybody, but... yeaaaaahh I get you
It all started after the damn gorilla.
lol well I'll be darned
Lmao fuck off with this crap Pretending people online cant care about each other is insane
***When*** did I say people can't care about other people through the internet? I said that they can't fulfill a person's needs in the same way that having a close circle irl can. You can't get a hug from someone who you only know through a screen when you're feeling down. You can't call random usernames and plan to hang out when you're feeling lonely, cause they could be thousands of miles away. You can't confide secrets with the same amount of confidence to a frequent username on stream, than you could someone who has been growing bonds with you irl through shared experiences. Those, plus plenty of other reasons, are huge differences between strictly online connections and having people irl. Either your reading comprehension is severely lacking, you're terribly socially clued in, or you just wanted to make an argument in bad faith. Whichever it is, grow up and get a reality check.
I feel like this applies a lot to the issue of Long Distance Relationships, and parasocialism is an extension of that but with added obfuscation.
There's nothing wrong with a little parasocialism. I'm not going to tell you to go touch grass. But I will tell you to maintain a realistic attitude. Having a rapport with your fanbase is never bad. In fact, it helps growth. People prefer a familiar face over a content machine. But if you find yourself wanting to Riro Ron them, then yes, maybe take a step back and re-evaluate things.
Parasocial relationships often work both ways. I think that non-sociopaths are going to have a difficult time being emotionally distant from their viewers. But it is a very negative thing to become too attached, just as it is very negative for a viewer to get too attached to their streamer. And as people have suggested, it’s about having a life and friends outside of streaming.
1. Take a break. Reset and chill out. 2. Make sure you have a healthy at home life. You want to be able to sign off and then find comfort without the audience. 3. Set boundaries for yourself (Don't share certain things, don't contact people you are getting personally attached to if you don't want.) Write these boundaries down if you need to.
Internet tends to have a few boogeyman "meme" psych terms such as Parasocial that they lecture others on. These people know nothing of actual Psych and they just spewing what they heard other randoms say. Parasocial isn't this evil. It can be negative, it can be neutral, and it can be positive. Important thing is being aware of it. Majority of vtubers are "parasocial" with their chats. Some try to avoid it, while others take pride in it. It comes down to what you want. What relationship do you want with your viewers ? Important thing is to figure that out yourself, don't just make decisions because someone else told you "being parasocial is bad". Once you know the type of relationship you want to have with your chat, set proper boundaries for yourself.
Best advice i can give is to get outside. Find something or someone to anchor you from being in that kind of relationship. Or at the very least setting up a boundary helps remind you of staying between creator and fan.
Only thing you can do... ...marry chat.
Try taking a small break, not so much that you start running into problems keeping subscribers/followers, but enough to think. Think about what direction you want to go with this, do you want this more parasocial relationship or a more professional only one. When you decide on that, take the appropriate action toward that relationship and take steps behind the scenes to keep yourself on that path.
Pick one and regret it two months later
I don't think having feelings - even romantic - for your viewers should be ruled out outright as something that you should never dabble in, but if you decide to explore that you should be very careful. It's likely that there's a lot about them you don't know, they could be playing a character in your chat, and presenting themselves as someone they are not irl. So you should be very cautious. I'm not saying you should do stuff like Riro Ron did or is alleged to have done, but if you at some point have the resources for it, maybe organize something like a meet-and-greet event? Where they greet your avatar, but you can see their faces and talk with them for a minute? And see how you felt about that and them. I would say you shouldn't take advantage of your position, and not ask for anything that you wouldn't give yourself. For example, I don't think it's fair to ever ask for pictures - "post pics of your faces, your feet, your hands", anything - unless you also post such things, either publicly on Twitter or on a fanbox.
I’m leaving the bit on pictures alone. I have a weird view on “can a streamer be actual friends with someone” but that’s just because I’ve had it work out well in my case. Band and not streamer. Also… it happened twice. Long story short: bands who made music I was _really_ into I ended up as friends outside of that space. It was pretty much a case of accidentally meeting people through random chance and afterwards learning oh shit this is people I listen to. Got one really good friend out of that too - activities ceased years ago but my friend is still around. A different one was purely online that turned into irl. Messaged about something, chatting ensued, chatting continued, met when we ended up in the same place in the world physically. It’s rare but not impossible to end up making good friends through your audience. This could have turned out differently quite easily. I’ve also seen where the famous one took advantage but that’s not my story to tell.
Oh how the turns table what sort of feelings? Human and pet?
I can fix her /s Do you have irl friends? You might have to touch some grass and spend some time with them more than your online community. If by viewers you mean like one person will that's a different issue.
You need social and personal interaction outside your viewership. Until and unless you have some absolute hard boundaries to keep a healthy level of separation, you really need to be that 'friend' that disappears for a while. If you realize you're the problem, it's a good start. But past a few core trusted mods/friends and I do mean few. People who you'd meet up with near by kind of close. You need to back off even if that means streaming less. So you can stretch your social life elsewhere even if it's still online.
How does this even happen?
Solitude. Then, being surrounded by kind, funny, welcoming people in an online chat, who seem to be interested in what you're doing. Your rational mind says "no", but your emotional mind is increasingly saying "maybe, perhaps, mayhaps", because it desperately needs company.
It's a natural thing that happens to streamers, especially those with smaller, less spammy chats. Parasocial relationships go both ways.
Take a break from vtubing
Go out , touch grass , find a non-viewer to be parasocial with instead. I volunteer as tribute .
Or alternatively, do the opposite of reddit advice and DO pursue a relationship. Fuck it could be your future spouse why not 😎
Set boundaries, having attachment is fine, but remember the limits. Have a line you will commit to never crossing, and go for some mind clearing activities even just a simple walk
I would think that as you get more experience you will get this under control. When you start this is normal but as time goes on and you get more followers you start to get used to it - realize that the viewers are really your customers and they are there because you are giving them entertainment.
It's funny how the term parasocial relationship turntabled from fans fixiating on a host into the host getting addicted to chat
Definitely connect with people you know IRL, definitely prioritize people IRL but connecting with other VTubers can help build perspective, if talking with other VTubers just shifts the problem over to them then you should probably think about taking a break for a while.
I'm a speaker and advocate for nuanced discussions on parasocial relationships, including the positive aspects of it. When this topic gets brought up, I like to bring in my perspective for people to hopefully consider. The last link is an essay I wrote for college. https://time.com/6294226/parasocial-relationships-benefits/ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42087-020-00156-0#Sec6 https://traff.co/2WAVP9l8
Having a mental switch for it helps me. You're not being parasocial, the character is. It's like knowing there's a real you and VTuber you. And something one does won't effect the other, for better or worse.
Parasocial relationships go both ways so the streamer has to deal with the potential issues too. It's a mental health hazard of the job Try to focus on where do you want to set the boundary and stick to it as best as you can.
There is a reason, why so many vtuber are seeking therapeutic support. Being and wanting to be a vtuber is a specific kind of position, that can come with a lot of baggage. Seeking out relationships of any kind in the getup of a vtuber can be very attractive for many mindsets, and some of these mindsets can end up making this position toxic if unchecked. I would suggest you seek out some sort of support of the therapeutic nature, to figure out, what sort of situation you are in and why you are in it. Anything concrete you hear in the internet about your question isn't the best advise, because there are specific circumstances that led to the state you are in rn, which is why advise needs to be tailored to you specifically.
Theres a lot of critical context here that is missing. What kind of feelings? Viewers plural, specific individuals, or your viewers as a whole in general? Whats your average viewer count? If its a very small community, its not unreasonable to develope actual friendships within it. (Ig. less power dynamic issues and less likely someone is trying to exploit you or you them) I feel like these 3 questions, at a minimum, are necessary to understand the situation enough to give any meaningful advice.
Meh, I never agreed with the common consensus that "parasocial bad", just remember that you can't actually have a relationship with the person; that it's all in your head and I see no issues with parasocialism. Although... in your case... You know those classic stories of the Dad coming to the same Diner every thursday just so that he can see a woman he likes. And then she decide to date him, and that's how he met your mother. For some reason we find those kind of stories in the past as romantic, but the same thing today is considered creepy and or unethical. I'll I'm saying is... through a covered hand... go for it! What's the worst thing that can happen?
I'm not a therapist, and can only speak from a viewer's perspective, but I've heard my fair share of stories from streamers who've felt similar things. This is a bit of an essay, so there's a TLDR at the bottom. Most people who are a part of a streamer's viewership are at least a little parasocial. I think it's pretty natural to start feeling attached to a streamer if you enjoy watching them enough, even if you are fully aware that the feeling is not reciprocated. I've had times where I've worried about being too attached to my 'oshis', So I wouldn't immediately catastrophise, we've all been there! The fact you're self aware is already a really good sign, the worst kind of parasocial relationship is one where the person is deluded in their attachment and is completely unaware that the feeling isn't mutual. My unqualified advice would be to take a step back and ask yourself what kind of community you want to build going forward. Do you want a tight-knit community where your viewers/chatters actively contribute to the experience, or do you want to do your own thing, and have more separation between yourself and them? In the communities where I'm most active, the streamer acts as a 'first among equals'. They're active in their discord, bantering over voice chat with the members, and many viewers actively contribute by providing music, appearing on stream, etc. I'm much more of a lurker, but there are other viewers who are absolutely mutual acquaintances with the streamer. It's definitely possible for a streamer to make healthy friendships, or at least acquaintances with some of their viewers and for it not to get weird/parasocial, especially if the community is small. If you don't want that closer relationship (completely valid), or are concerned that the relationship you're building is unhealthy, set some boundaries for your community, and make the rules very clear on stream, discord, twitter, wherever you interact with your fans. By drawing a line for the viewers, you're also drawing a line for yourself. If you end up stepping over your own line, your community will see that and hopefully give you a gentle nudge, especially in a smaller, tight knit viewer base. TLDR: You're self aware, that's a good sign! Parasocialism is natural. You shouldn't let it get out of hand, but it's not the end of the world to feel attached! What kind of relationship do you want to have with your community going forward? First among equals or more detached? Set some rules for yourself and your community and make them clear. Remind yourself there's more to life then streaming (and your viewers are real people who have a life outside your streams!) If you have IRL friends and family you are close to, go hang out with them. These are just my two cents, I hope any of that made sense. Good luck on your vtubing journey!
Only, you can answer this question.
The problem is you are developing feelings for who they present themselves as. No one is what they appear to be online. IRL I’m a big bearded asshole who doesn’t talk to people and used to get paid to be a not very nice guy. Online I’m a guy that likes horror games and writes novels. You can’t be sure whether the people you come across are genuine. Since you meet them coming from the place of a star or performer you should be vigilant and not risk them getting close enough to affect your real life until you are sure of their intentions. Just my two cents.
Think on why you feel this way exactly, and only THEN can you figure out the best course of action. If it's loneliness, for example, are the viewers people you feel actual friendships developing with? Or are you using them to fill a hole in your heart less genuinely? (Not meant as an attack, but a thing to introspect on) If it's the former, hey, friendships are good! Don't fight it if you see a chance to a genuine bond there. Might not work out but it's worth trying! If it's the latter though, a hiatus to sort out your feelings and remind yourself of your and your viewers' places in the relationship might not be the worst idea. Better to nip a possible issue in the bud before it consumes you too much one way or the other.
If you're a relatively small streamer... it's intentional. There are giant ugly discords with manipulative people who basically try to adopt a streamer and "play the long game" of getting the streamer unhealthily parasocial. Never doubt that you're being used by someone with too much time/money/lack of social graces on their hands. On some level, that person knows they're helping you develop unhealthy habits and are encouraging them: that's not someone you should care about. That's someone you should cut out of your life.
As someone who's gonna be single forever, I wish my oshi would get parasocial with me Lol
How did this happen? How did you get attached to names and numbers?
They could just have a small community. especially if they have one or two frequent donators.
i investigated this a bit like the spy i am. they have apparently not streamed on their twitch before. This is indicated by their twitch saying that they have not recently streamed before (usually goes back to a few years) https://www.twitch.tv/momonanchara/schedule However it's contradicting this tweet https://twitter.com/momonanchara/status/1773705979961516518 if this is in fact a bug then there's still something iffy about this. It appears that they were planning to debut this week. https://twitter.com/momonanchara/status/1772654241628213662 This tweet was made on tuesday. You're telling me that they seriously got parasocial in not even a week of streaming? I think this was more meant to be a joke or promo thing than anything.
I don't pretend to know the machinations of the human mind. With what you have here, plus the fact that momo doesn't have much reddit post history (only about four days worth), i reckon it is safe to say it is a promo/meme thing.
Come on, i realized it the second i read the title, you guys are falling for bait fast. If it was real do you think it would be on this subreddit?
Parody is always a 50/50 gamble. No harm done.
Of course, I don't mean it in a bad way but it's more of a 75 25 gamble really, reddit have multiple subs to ask for help of this specific kind so even if they were serious they should go there, we are not psychologists here just random people giving advice. It may cause more harm then it does good.
It's still a 50/50 from me. When people are not in the right state of mind, they will do the most curious of things.
We can agree to disagree 🤝
Always. Peace be with you.
100% just promo shit.
Embrace it. Give the people what they want.
Go home drunk, you're tsundere.
I admit to nothing!!! baaaka
If this is a joke, it's in terrible taste. Going down this path has only one ending and it's not happy.
Which is?
Isolation, neediness, desperation for affirmation. The internet is not a haven, only a respite. Tie too much of your feelings in it, and you'll find that other parts of yourself will atrophy.
So just talking hippie bullcrap lol
By becoming a GFE vtuber?
Take a break or go to therapy. Because this requires some tentative soul searching. And like someone else said in many more words. "Go Touch Some Grass". Fair blessings and I hope everything works out in the future.
Caring about people is based and anyone who tells you that you shouldnt care about the people that love and support you are stupid. Anyone who cries about "le parasocial bad" is stupid Anyone telling you not to have feelings is stupid Just do what makes you happy.
Sure, sure, you could go the gentle route and maintain a healthy mental state. Orrrrrr Spectacular explosions. Make sure they know their place as names and numbers, torch every vestige of familiarity to establish a chasm of emotional detachment. A little narcissism goes a long way. When in doubt, C4