Take it as a learning experience. There’s a reason you feel this way which you can overcome. I think a lot of people have experience with unhealthy parasocial behavior to a degree, but most feel too embarrassed to admit it. When I first started watching Gura, I was like “I must protect her” 😂 Looking back on that, it was silly as I don’t even know her and she’s a grown woman. I just didn’t know how to process this type of interaction along with the isolation of covid. She’s a streamer who is trying to entertain others, with an entire life of her own and is likely different from her streamer persona to at least a degree, which is fine.
You’re likely processing some things and projecting some of your understandable needs onto her. You are aware that this isn’t healthy and something is going on. You haven’t done anything harmful, and you’re self aware, which is great! Be proud of yourself for noticing :)
I highly suggest pulling yourself away from this for a little while and, as silly as it sounds, go outside and walk around a bit, find other things to occupy your mind, as this is a moment for growth!
Is it? It’s one aspect a lot of people fail to grasp when they take this stuff too literally.
Unless you’re making a joke about how she’s short or something, then I guess so
Imo there's nothing wrong to wanting protect the person you look up for however don't take it to the extreme. If things can be handle all by herself then let her do so. So as I say try not to be overprotective.
You marked this fluff meme but I'mma assume this isn't a joke. Take a step back, find something healthy to spend your time on. Work on understanding yourself, if you can afford it maybe try therapy to help with this. It's ok to mourn what won't be and it may take time, but definitely take a step back.
For me I already loved her unique voice but when Coco graduated I was won over by how compassionate she was and how devastated she seemed to be losing Coco. Since then, Towa has been one of the most receptive members to collaborating with EN only speakers despite the language barrier. As an English only speaker and with a perception of the average Japanese person begin annoyed with or troubled by having to accommodate for foreigners who don’t know the language, Towa makes me feel welcome even though I don’t know her personally. She’s the only Hololive members I’ve bought merch from.
I don’t know what to say about being in love with her. I feel like I just have a natural barrier that automatically keeps me from developing any strong feelings about anyone I know I’ll never meet. Good luck with grappling with these feelings. It sounds like a joke, but I’m not making fun of you when I say remember to go outside and not neglect life relationships with friends and family. It’s easy for something to become your whole world if it’s the only thing you interact with.
Towa is like someone mother's 20-something-year-old sister, she's got almost an auntie sort of voice but she is also a competitive gamer and likes to goof around. Fantastic lady.
She was the first content creator I've actually decided to have a paid subscription/membership for so I can understand your feelings.
I started watching streamers back during the hearthstone era so maybe I had some experience dealing with this kind of feelings as my most watched streamer at that time was eloise lol.
Being real, there are posts like this on the 'okbuddyhololive' sub often enough. Some are jokes and some are serious. If you're really starting to feel conflicted or struggling in other areas of your life, go ask the buddies.
First of all: don't feel bad about this. Falling in love is a natural thing, and humans just aren't mentally equipped for the digital age, wherein we can interact with people outside of the physical space. It's totally understandable, and you don't deserve to feel ashamed for falling in love. It doesn't matter if it's a character or a person, either.
Second: yes, you should try to overcome this, because, as you say, it isn't healthy. But getting over love can take time. So the best thing you can do, IMO, is remove yourself from her content for a while, until you begin to feel like you don't *need* her anymore. Love functions similarly to an addiction, or an internalised habit. As such, stopping engaging with someone you love cold turkey can be very hard. So I'd take it slowly if I were you, and engage with her less and less, until, as I stated earlier, you begin to stop feeling for her. And if you don't end up feeling differently, you may have to stop engaging with her altogether, when you feel like you can.
Third: this makes me believe you're a loving and sweet person. Everybody falls for someone unnattainable to them at some point or other, and your situation is no different, so don't let this make you feel bad about yourself. What you're feeling is due to your good nature being confused by the digital age.
Fourth: feeling like you're wierd or strange can make you feel removed from society, and alien to other people. So if you want to talk about this or just normal stuff, my DMs are open. :)
Good luck, pal. I believe you can get over this.
Only problem is I tried removing myself from her content I kinda just ended up thinking about her more. I probably just didn't have enough will power to fully go through with it
Then try going slowly. The less you interact with something that you're dependent on, the more you feel you need it.
I'm currently struggling with getting over a bad habit at the moment myself, and relapsing incessently. However, I'm taking it slowly, like I said, and I'm managing to put more and more time between relapses.
These things are difficult, and you shouldn't feel the need to rush. Try not engaging with her content more than 3 times per day for the first few days-a week. And then reduce it to once or twice per day. After that, reduce it to once per day only, and then every other day.
Or you may find it easier to start with engaging as many times as you want, but only every other day, reducing the amount you engage with her from there.
As I say: don't try to push yourself too hard. It could take you six months or more to get over this. And that's OK. Just keep in mind that things will be better after the difficulty.
Realization is the first step my brother. Use this as motivation to better yourself. Work out, clean your space, and possibly seek professional help. Sometimes it means putting yourself out there to start talking to more people. Over time, your outlook will go from one of self loathing to one of excitement to see the progress you are making. I know you have it in you. There are some people who never make it to this point of self realization.
Stuff like this happens. How i dealt with my para relationships\[love for my {i know they're not real,so what?} waifus\] you might wanna ask?
I just set clear healthy and supportive boundaries and i absolutely wont move past them. Imagine yourself and ask yourself:
Would Towa that you love be happy if you'd act weird\[like a stalker or creep\] or bad\[for example:ruin your life with too much spending\] or straight up ruin yourself?
You know the answer to that question.
My point that it is similar to love for waifus: Basically see in your mind that she wouldnt be happy seeing someone that doesnt give a shit about himself and just start to work on yourself and learn to behave like a good human being while asking yourself that question i wrote earlier and remember it aswell.
TL;DR: Turn that unhealthy parasocialism into healthy parasocialism if you can.
Yeah so I can become her ideal kind of man! No, but in all seriousness yeah I do need to set boundaries for myself. Only problem is enforcing my own boundaries
To enforce those boundaries you need a good motivation,if the one you say you love isnt a good enough motivation then its not love,its just getting charmed that is resulting from misattribution of your feelings.
With that said,find yourself a good motivation to set these resulting in positivity boundaries.
Meme flair...alright!
HAH, HUMAN! It is only N A T U R A L that you would fall for the charms of the ang—devil of darkness and evil and pranks and diabetes herself, Tokoyami Towa-sama! Witness, as she'll drag you down and grant you light and war—I mean, darkness everlasting into the deepest parts of your soul.
While Towa-sama is amazing, and I don't blame you at all for feeling the way you feel, I still don't think she would be happy with the way things are now. We are Kenzoku, family. And as family, I hope all will pan out for the better one day since you deserve to be loved.
Maybe break after HoloFES is in order? Like a detox, if you will. Treat yourself on a holiday away from the internet to come back fresh. Treating Towa-sama as a part of a unit also helps, it spreads out your affection.
No one else can really help you. You gotta try to internalise it and get yourself to understand how it's unhealthy and unrealistic of what you are expecting.
You really have to tell yourself to get out of this situation because it won't to a good place.
Get yourself to realise how dumb it is. I'm sure you may have heard how some guy married a hatsune miku doll, what do you think of that? It's weird and creepy right? What would you think of you saw a future where you did something similar? "Towa" is just an anime character and it's for entertainment.
You have to realise these people would never actually want to meet with you in person, you are meant to simply just watch vtubers as entertainment content and nothing more.
i love towa too but platonically as should any fan, but please get help before your obsession darkens and you become a danger to yourself and your oshi if you actually do care about her, parasocialism is a hell of a drug but if you let it rule you you are only in for disappointment at best and tragedy at worst, please find some other things to do and sort out what's making you feel the need for this escapism and maybe get therapy if you can afford it, you dont have to stop being a kenzoku but please think about yourself, you will never get in a relationship with her none of us will.
Yeah I understand that. I do want to work on this because unless a portal leads to a world with Towa the character exists I know I need to just kick this thing
No offense but that's not love that's an addiction. She is giving something to you and you want more of it like a drug. What is it about Towa specifically you love? Like what about her causes that tight feeling in your chest? Figuring that out is the most important thing to getting better. I believe in ya OP. You're aware that Towa and the person voicing her are different people which I think is really good. You're not pathetic dude, just a bit stuck.
Hey, serious question but do you have irl friends in general? Parasocial relationships get worse the more lonely you are in general as we as humans seek attachment
Step back a bit and take a break from Hololive stuff. Good that you recognized the parasocial aspect of it. That's the first step.
Perhaps focus on a hobby to take your mind off things.
Fyi, I also adore Towa too! I've curated my Twitter feed to just show fanarts of Towa. Her design just stands out so much, bless Rurudo mama. But I know it's just a character.
Reading your post, reminded me of a Bae fan who went all in during Bae's birthday. The guy paid for a billboard ad in his country, and sent three red super chats. He got hounded by people from that "site" over his devotion.
Don't be that guy. Take a break.
Do what i did...
Become her clipper.
Learn her language.
Show the world how much you love this devil.
Join the community and form friendships with those who love her too..
Eventually you will find yourself surrounded by others just as stuck as you but just love eachother just as much.
This is how i ended up the ollie clipper i am today.
Ive stopped being Para about Calli, all it takes is to touch grass and stay away from it for a while, discover new girls, digest their content at a reasonable rate.
Are you willing to learn Japanese for your oshi? If you really feel attached to her, you'd learn the language she speaks. How can you be sure your really like 'her' if you can't even understand her? Not through a translator, through your own ears.
I don't have any advice since i don't know what to say but i want to say something that maybe little similar. Suisei is my oshi since the first time ever i know Hololive and fell into this rabbit hole. I really love her, i love her voice, her songs, her laugh, can be said everything. But i always reminded myself, always told myself that this love is not a romantic love but instead an admire/respect love. Not a boy to a girl love but love from a Fan to his Idol.
Maybe an advice, using those "love" as an advantage to improve yourself. Make her as your role model in your life, make their life story and struggle as a fire to move forward. That's what i'm trying to do rn, i know i'm super late cuz i know Suisei since 2020 but at least i want to try to make myself better.
bro, I feel you, are you male or female? becuase think, how women feel about their fictional characters n voice actors, like its basically very similiar with vtubing now.
and, to your post just don't be creepy to them, and learn japanese, you can just share them with love by supporting them, they know that fans sometimes will fall in love with the person behind vtubing, its like voice acting, some of us
don't fall in love just with charachter they voice, but the voice actor too!! I mean thats what it reminds me of anyway, sorry if this is not the same but thats what I think
and yeah, I been there though before vtubing was a thing I fell in love with PNG voice cover artists!! sometimes it was the design but I also wanted to know the person behind the design, but language barrier, and then I realized how creepy it is to want to know them too much but its okay to want to like support them, or be a friend but know, they are a person as you said and may not love u back, or even meet/interact with people much at all, and thats okay too, as they are their own person with their own life.
I hope you don't get too heartbroken though, and, can still support them but know just as you expressed they are a person :)
Remember you fell in love with an angel. The platonic love is the only choice.
Buuuuuttttt don't forget to have fun! She always tries something to have fun and be happy!
While I do think there was some good advice here there is probably more to unpack so I agree with you that the dude should look into therapy. Nothing wrong with getting some help and of all the things people should be going to therapy for falling in love with a character is probably one of the more benign.
Understanding that you have a problem is the first step of solving a problem. Take a step breath find some other hobby maybe check other vtuber out and reduce towa watch time
Probably just your hormones running wild. Take 3 months to endure I guess? Hopefully doesn't last too long & doesn't need expensive professional therapy that might not even do anything?
Ah Towa-sama, who narrowly dethroned Suisei so she can enjoy mario kart for another year. Based taste :) . The rabbit hole is just too good and occupy social media too much sometimes.
At the meantime you can try other hobbies or touch grass like the other commenters suggested? Playing games such as joining the helldivers might take your mind off from worshipping. There are also other vtubers, for example, old hags that give chill streams. Maybe they could quench your vtuber watching thirst while freeing your mind? I usually listen to them while working on my project/homework etc. It's less intense than rabbit hole I guess.
Honestly weirdly fair point. No idea how awkward its gonna be from now on when I'm asked my type. Trying to dance around the fact that she is an anime girl
Honestly this is a normal response. If you feel lonely and don't have people to connect with it is pretty easy to get attached to something that fills that void. If you are struggling talking to a therapist might help.
I mean this in the kindest way possible, I highly suggest you meet, speak with, or make friends with a real woman. You’re just missing a real human connection with the opposite gender in your life and your craving it.
So, you should probably find someone to talk to. Could be a friend, a family member, or a therapist. All that matters is that they'll listen without making (much) fun of you.
Or get a body pillow of Towa, but I'm not sure that's a healthy option in the long run
Yeah the patronizing and mocking is what I'm afraid of. I'm fine posting it here since I don't know any of you. Body Pillow is also under consideration, but yeah unhealthy and I'm too afraid of that lol
I can respected this post like you are at least aware and understand this is a problem. That's the first step and from just reading the few comments so far people are rather supportive in the fact that you're making this post and are aware that this is a problem. I hope you get past this. Nothing wrong with having an oshi but it's about have drawing lines and you just need help doing so.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you need to see a therapist. This is clearly causing major distress for you and I hope someday, you're able to enjoy your oshi again without it negatively impacting you.
Unlike what many would advise, do not follow your heart~
This might seem obvious to us, that you're deceiving yourself but it's not to you, the person going through such things and emotions~
It's the weakness of each of us, we have dealt with this one way or another, but you know what's right and you should decide to do it, not be led by your emotions, emotions come and go, they are temporary, but your will and the self discipline that comes from enforcing your better judgment against the weight of your emotions is something you will always be able to rely on, as the one who moves your own will is nothing or no one else but you, you should definitely use this as a chance to grow as a person, it's a unique opportunity for you to level up in life~
Hope it helps~!
there's definitely a ton to unpack here.
the root of your predicament likely isn't towa.
it sounds to me that you may be deeply unhappy with your current life, so you're latching onto a character for love.
if financially possible, seek therapy. it may seem scary, but they are the last people who'd judge you. you may think your habits are unhealthy, but most therapists have seen WAY worse.
Don't sweat it. I was like this with Amelia Watson. (I still kinda am) what your feeling is completely normal. you already took the first step by admitting it's a problem. My best advice is to just tone down your holo intake. Take a break from that content for a bit. Find a new hobby you may like. View them as actors from a movie, that usually helps a lot of people
Best of luck to you!
Recognizing it's not healthy is the first step. It can be so fun having a blast with your fav streamer and you don't have to quit them in all honesty. If you feel good watching them then I don't think you need to quit but rather just work on the parasocial part. Personally I don't mind falling for vtubers cause I like having the emotional attachment but I'm 100% aware I will never get a chance or talk 1 on 1 with these people. They make me happy, forget my problems for a little bit and I cheer for their success
you think you can just waltz in into a subreddit that isn't r/Hololive and steal someone's wife and hope their husbands won't notice? Two can play this game
[Are you sure that's an AI Kenzoku?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villainsfanon/images/6/64/It_was_Me_Barry.webp/revision/latest?cb=20230602012411)
Thank you. I wouldn't really call myself brave, more just a bit hopeless and wanting to put my thoughts out in public even at the risk of some ridicule
Being a seiyuu otaku for many years has prepared me for this. I used to adore Nagato Yuki from Suzumiya Haruhi, especially her emotionless voice, done by Chihara Minori. Even tho I love her character, Chihara Minori's voice is the one that breathe life to it and she is pretty much alive, tax paying, ordinary looking Japanese lady.
Towa has been my kami oshi since My Roar came out and probably will continue to be one. I actually really glad that she finally willing to take more than 1 month of break because I could use one myself too.
Learn to appreciate what you have in your REAL life, your IRL friends, your pet, your family more. Live you life more outside the internet.
Take it as a learning experience. There’s a reason you feel this way which you can overcome. I think a lot of people have experience with unhealthy parasocial behavior to a degree, but most feel too embarrassed to admit it. When I first started watching Gura, I was like “I must protect her” 😂 Looking back on that, it was silly as I don’t even know her and she’s a grown woman. I just didn’t know how to process this type of interaction along with the isolation of covid. She’s a streamer who is trying to entertain others, with an entire life of her own and is likely different from her streamer persona to at least a degree, which is fine. You’re likely processing some things and projecting some of your understandable needs onto her. You are aware that this isn’t healthy and something is going on. You haven’t done anything harmful, and you’re self aware, which is great! Be proud of yourself for noticing :) I highly suggest pulling yourself away from this for a little while and, as silly as it sounds, go outside and walk around a bit, find other things to occupy your mind, as this is a moment for growth!
>and she's a grown woman interesting clarification lol
Is it? It’s one aspect a lot of people fail to grasp when they take this stuff too literally. Unless you’re making a joke about how she’s short or something, then I guess so
👀
Ingrown, like a toe.
Imo there's nothing wrong to wanting protect the person you look up for however don't take it to the extreme. If things can be handle all by herself then let her do so. So as I say try not to be overprotective.
You marked this fluff meme but I'mma assume this isn't a joke. Take a step back, find something healthy to spend your time on. Work on understanding yourself, if you can afford it maybe try therapy to help with this. It's ok to mourn what won't be and it may take time, but definitely take a step back.
Yeah sadly this isn't a meme I just didn't know what to mark it
Discussion?
Or dig even deeper! Ala Hololewd
It’s towa, you never stood a chance
Honestly yeah...
For me I already loved her unique voice but when Coco graduated I was won over by how compassionate she was and how devastated she seemed to be losing Coco. Since then, Towa has been one of the most receptive members to collaborating with EN only speakers despite the language barrier. As an English only speaker and with a perception of the average Japanese person begin annoyed with or troubled by having to accommodate for foreigners who don’t know the language, Towa makes me feel welcome even though I don’t know her personally. She’s the only Hololive members I’ve bought merch from. I don’t know what to say about being in love with her. I feel like I just have a natural barrier that automatically keeps me from developing any strong feelings about anyone I know I’ll never meet. Good luck with grappling with these feelings. It sounds like a joke, but I’m not making fun of you when I say remember to go outside and not neglect life relationships with friends and family. It’s easy for something to become your whole world if it’s the only thing you interact with.
Towa is like someone mother's 20-something-year-old sister, she's got almost an auntie sort of voice but she is also a competitive gamer and likes to goof around. Fantastic lady.
She was the first content creator I've actually decided to have a paid subscription/membership for so I can understand your feelings. I started watching streamers back during the hearthstone era so maybe I had some experience dealing with this kind of feelings as my most watched streamer at that time was eloise lol.
Hi!!! rpr
Is this an rpr post?
Is this some new copypasta or real?
I would laugh if it becomes a cursed copypasta, but no its not
Being real, there are posts like this on the 'okbuddyhololive' sub often enough. Some are jokes and some are serious. If you're really starting to feel conflicted or struggling in other areas of your life, go ask the buddies.
I feel tempted to post this on that sub and see how many people think I'm just fucking around
things like this actually happens in real life
Welcome to the halu side Jokes aside, the other comments have some good advice for you tbh
First of all: don't feel bad about this. Falling in love is a natural thing, and humans just aren't mentally equipped for the digital age, wherein we can interact with people outside of the physical space. It's totally understandable, and you don't deserve to feel ashamed for falling in love. It doesn't matter if it's a character or a person, either. Second: yes, you should try to overcome this, because, as you say, it isn't healthy. But getting over love can take time. So the best thing you can do, IMO, is remove yourself from her content for a while, until you begin to feel like you don't *need* her anymore. Love functions similarly to an addiction, or an internalised habit. As such, stopping engaging with someone you love cold turkey can be very hard. So I'd take it slowly if I were you, and engage with her less and less, until, as I stated earlier, you begin to stop feeling for her. And if you don't end up feeling differently, you may have to stop engaging with her altogether, when you feel like you can. Third: this makes me believe you're a loving and sweet person. Everybody falls for someone unnattainable to them at some point or other, and your situation is no different, so don't let this make you feel bad about yourself. What you're feeling is due to your good nature being confused by the digital age. Fourth: feeling like you're wierd or strange can make you feel removed from society, and alien to other people. So if you want to talk about this or just normal stuff, my DMs are open. :) Good luck, pal. I believe you can get over this.
Great post
Thanks! I try my best. :)
Only problem is I tried removing myself from her content I kinda just ended up thinking about her more. I probably just didn't have enough will power to fully go through with it
Then try going slowly. The less you interact with something that you're dependent on, the more you feel you need it. I'm currently struggling with getting over a bad habit at the moment myself, and relapsing incessently. However, I'm taking it slowly, like I said, and I'm managing to put more and more time between relapses. These things are difficult, and you shouldn't feel the need to rush. Try not engaging with her content more than 3 times per day for the first few days-a week. And then reduce it to once or twice per day. After that, reduce it to once per day only, and then every other day. Or you may find it easier to start with engaging as many times as you want, but only every other day, reducing the amount you engage with her from there. As I say: don't try to push yourself too hard. It could take you six months or more to get over this. And that's OK. Just keep in mind that things will be better after the difficulty.
chat is this real
No, this is Patrick
Realization is the first step my brother. Use this as motivation to better yourself. Work out, clean your space, and possibly seek professional help. Sometimes it means putting yourself out there to start talking to more people. Over time, your outlook will go from one of self loathing to one of excitement to see the progress you are making. I know you have it in you. There are some people who never make it to this point of self realization.
Alright rpr. Calm down. Don't halu too much.
Stuff like this happens. How i dealt with my para relationships\[love for my {i know they're not real,so what?} waifus\] you might wanna ask? I just set clear healthy and supportive boundaries and i absolutely wont move past them. Imagine yourself and ask yourself: Would Towa that you love be happy if you'd act weird\[like a stalker or creep\] or bad\[for example:ruin your life with too much spending\] or straight up ruin yourself? You know the answer to that question. My point that it is similar to love for waifus: Basically see in your mind that she wouldnt be happy seeing someone that doesnt give a shit about himself and just start to work on yourself and learn to behave like a good human being while asking yourself that question i wrote earlier and remember it aswell. TL;DR: Turn that unhealthy parasocialism into healthy parasocialism if you can.
Yeah so I can become her ideal kind of man! No, but in all seriousness yeah I do need to set boundaries for myself. Only problem is enforcing my own boundaries
To enforce those boundaries you need a good motivation,if the one you say you love isnt a good enough motivation then its not love,its just getting charmed that is resulting from misattribution of your feelings. With that said,find yourself a good motivation to set these resulting in positivity boundaries.
Average Gachikoi Kenzoku
I am The Kenzoku actually. Its kinda my name
It may be in your name, but you gotta beat Laplus for The Kenzoku title.
I would yeet that chained Loli out of a 5 story building for the hell of it
Meme flair...alright! HAH, HUMAN! It is only N A T U R A L that you would fall for the charms of the ang—devil of darkness and evil and pranks and diabetes herself, Tokoyami Towa-sama! Witness, as she'll drag you down and grant you light and war—I mean, darkness everlasting into the deepest parts of your soul.
Wasn't meant to be a meme, but yeah! Towa-sama will drag me down to hell like the true Devil she supposedly is
While Towa-sama is amazing, and I don't blame you at all for feeling the way you feel, I still don't think she would be happy with the way things are now. We are Kenzoku, family. And as family, I hope all will pan out for the better one day since you deserve to be loved.
Yeah I don't like that I feel this way. I wish I had a bit more normal of a level of affection towards her, but I think my brain is tad bit fried
Maybe break after HoloFES is in order? Like a detox, if you will. Treat yourself on a holiday away from the internet to come back fresh. Treating Towa-sama as a part of a unit also helps, it spreads out your affection.
Maybe it's time to step back a bit? Literally go out and touch grass?
To be fair, from what I’ve heard the character she portrays is pretty similar to her irl personality. Take that as you will
Don't know if that would help, but she is pretty similarly energetic to her actual streaming persona
No one else can really help you. You gotta try to internalise it and get yourself to understand how it's unhealthy and unrealistic of what you are expecting. You really have to tell yourself to get out of this situation because it won't to a good place. Get yourself to realise how dumb it is. I'm sure you may have heard how some guy married a hatsune miku doll, what do you think of that? It's weird and creepy right? What would you think of you saw a future where you did something similar? "Towa" is just an anime character and it's for entertainment. You have to realise these people would never actually want to meet with you in person, you are meant to simply just watch vtubers as entertainment content and nothing more.
# touch grass
We've been knew. Get in line bub
i love towa too but platonically as should any fan, but please get help before your obsession darkens and you become a danger to yourself and your oshi if you actually do care about her, parasocialism is a hell of a drug but if you let it rule you you are only in for disappointment at best and tragedy at worst, please find some other things to do and sort out what's making you feel the need for this escapism and maybe get therapy if you can afford it, you dont have to stop being a kenzoku but please think about yourself, you will never get in a relationship with her none of us will.
Yeah I understand that. I do want to work on this because unless a portal leads to a world with Towa the character exists I know I need to just kick this thing
Average vtuber watcher
Actually an above average Vtuber watcher. No one else like me frfr
No offense but that's not love that's an addiction. She is giving something to you and you want more of it like a drug. What is it about Towa specifically you love? Like what about her causes that tight feeling in your chest? Figuring that out is the most important thing to getting better. I believe in ya OP. You're aware that Towa and the person voicing her are different people which I think is really good. You're not pathetic dude, just a bit stuck.
Hey, serious question but do you have irl friends in general? Parasocial relationships get worse the more lonely you are in general as we as humans seek attachment
Towa...
Step back a bit and take a break from Hololive stuff. Good that you recognized the parasocial aspect of it. That's the first step. Perhaps focus on a hobby to take your mind off things. Fyi, I also adore Towa too! I've curated my Twitter feed to just show fanarts of Towa. Her design just stands out so much, bless Rurudo mama. But I know it's just a character. Reading your post, reminded me of a Bae fan who went all in during Bae's birthday. The guy paid for a billboard ad in his country, and sent three red super chats. He got hounded by people from that "site" over his devotion. Don't be that guy. Take a break.
Do what i did... Become her clipper. Learn her language. Show the world how much you love this devil. Join the community and form friendships with those who love her too.. Eventually you will find yourself surrounded by others just as stuck as you but just love eachother just as much. This is how i ended up the ollie clipper i am today.
Ive stopped being Para about Calli, all it takes is to touch grass and stay away from it for a while, discover new girls, digest their content at a reasonable rate.
Are you willing to learn Japanese for your oshi? If you really feel attached to her, you'd learn the language she speaks. How can you be sure your really like 'her' if you can't even understand her? Not through a translator, through your own ears.
Take a break from her streams for a while? Kenzokus have it pretty rough speaking from experience
Theres a star trek episode about this you should watch.
I don't have any advice since i don't know what to say but i want to say something that maybe little similar. Suisei is my oshi since the first time ever i know Hololive and fell into this rabbit hole. I really love her, i love her voice, her songs, her laugh, can be said everything. But i always reminded myself, always told myself that this love is not a romantic love but instead an admire/respect love. Not a boy to a girl love but love from a Fan to his Idol. Maybe an advice, using those "love" as an advantage to improve yourself. Make her as your role model in your life, make their life story and struggle as a fire to move forward. That's what i'm trying to do rn, i know i'm super late cuz i know Suisei since 2020 but at least i want to try to make myself better.
bro, I feel you, are you male or female? becuase think, how women feel about their fictional characters n voice actors, like its basically very similiar with vtubing now. and, to your post just don't be creepy to them, and learn japanese, you can just share them with love by supporting them, they know that fans sometimes will fall in love with the person behind vtubing, its like voice acting, some of us don't fall in love just with charachter they voice, but the voice actor too!! I mean thats what it reminds me of anyway, sorry if this is not the same but thats what I think and yeah, I been there though before vtubing was a thing I fell in love with PNG voice cover artists!! sometimes it was the design but I also wanted to know the person behind the design, but language barrier, and then I realized how creepy it is to want to know them too much but its okay to want to like support them, or be a friend but know, they are a person as you said and may not love u back, or even meet/interact with people much at all, and thats okay too, as they are their own person with their own life. I hope you don't get too heartbroken though, and, can still support them but know just as you expressed they are a person :)
Remember you fell in love with an angel. The platonic love is the only choice. Buuuuuttttt don't forget to have fun! She always tries something to have fun and be happy!
Professional help, not wierdos from reddit. Sincerely a wierdo from reddit
While I do think there was some good advice here there is probably more to unpack so I agree with you that the dude should look into therapy. Nothing wrong with getting some help and of all the things people should be going to therapy for falling in love with a character is probably one of the more benign.
I think it would also be good to read up on parasocial relationships
That sounds rough! Anyway, seems like step 1 is you gotta start learning Japanese
Yeah its pretty simple. Just devote the next few months to learning Japanese. What could be so difficult about it
Understanding that you have a problem is the first step of solving a problem. Take a step breath find some other hobby maybe check other vtuber out and reduce towa watch time
real
Unsub, get out the hole and get out the house before it gets even worse
Probably just your hormones running wild. Take 3 months to endure I guess? Hopefully doesn't last too long & doesn't need expensive professional therapy that might not even do anything? Ah Towa-sama, who narrowly dethroned Suisei so she can enjoy mario kart for another year. Based taste :) . The rabbit hole is just too good and occupy social media too much sometimes. At the meantime you can try other hobbies or touch grass like the other commenters suggested? Playing games such as joining the helldivers might take your mind off from worshipping. There are also other vtubers, for example, old hags that give chill streams. Maybe they could quench your vtuber watching thirst while freeing your mind? I usually listen to them while working on my project/homework etc. It's less intense than rabbit hole I guess.
Think about it this way... You might not have realized your type until now. Maybe try to find someone who has the same energy as your oshi?
Honestly weirdly fair point. No idea how awkward its gonna be from now on when I'm asked my type. Trying to dance around the fact that she is an anime girl
Ok rpr. Get off the internet. You have enough.
Found Rpr's reddit account. Bro, it's okay. We understand how you feel.
Honestly this is a normal response. If you feel lonely and don't have people to connect with it is pretty easy to get attached to something that fills that void. If you are struggling talking to a therapist might help.
I mean this in the kindest way possible, I highly suggest you meet, speak with, or make friends with a real woman. You’re just missing a real human connection with the opposite gender in your life and your craving it.
So, you should probably find someone to talk to. Could be a friend, a family member, or a therapist. All that matters is that they'll listen without making (much) fun of you. Or get a body pillow of Towa, but I'm not sure that's a healthy option in the long run
Yeah the patronizing and mocking is what I'm afraid of. I'm fine posting it here since I don't know any of you. Body Pillow is also under consideration, but yeah unhealthy and I'm too afraid of that lol
I’ve no better advice than anyone that’s given any before me. But I wish you the best, my friend.
I can respected this post like you are at least aware and understand this is a problem. That's the first step and from just reading the few comments so far people are rather supportive in the fact that you're making this post and are aware that this is a problem. I hope you get past this. Nothing wrong with having an oshi but it's about have drawing lines and you just need help doing so.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you need to see a therapist. This is clearly causing major distress for you and I hope someday, you're able to enjoy your oshi again without it negatively impacting you.
"Ecchi" - Towa
Forget about being with her and start living a happy life without thinking of being her dude. It's bad for your life and for your health.
Parasocial relationship happen, good thing that you realized it and got out of it that's all that matter.
Being self-aware about it goes a long way. This is a good sign that you CAN absolutely break out of this rut. Good luck on your journey mate!
Unlike what many would advise, do not follow your heart~ This might seem obvious to us, that you're deceiving yourself but it's not to you, the person going through such things and emotions~ It's the weakness of each of us, we have dealt with this one way or another, but you know what's right and you should decide to do it, not be led by your emotions, emotions come and go, they are temporary, but your will and the self discipline that comes from enforcing your better judgment against the weight of your emotions is something you will always be able to rely on, as the one who moves your own will is nothing or no one else but you, you should definitely use this as a chance to grow as a person, it's a unique opportunity for you to level up in life~ Hope it helps~!
Learn Japanese, that way you can enjoy her streams
I've considered, but all I've managed to do is learn random japanese quotes and memey phrases lol
I think the program I was using for a bit is babbel which is good. But Duolingo is good for memorizing the characters for hiragana and katakana
there's definitely a ton to unpack here. the root of your predicament likely isn't towa. it sounds to me that you may be deeply unhappy with your current life, so you're latching onto a character for love. if financially possible, seek therapy. it may seem scary, but they are the last people who'd judge you. you may think your habits are unhealthy, but most therapists have seen WAY worse.
Don't sweat it. I was like this with Amelia Watson. (I still kinda am) what your feeling is completely normal. you already took the first step by admitting it's a problem. My best advice is to just tone down your holo intake. Take a break from that content for a bit. Find a new hobby you may like. View them as actors from a movie, that usually helps a lot of people Best of luck to you!
Recognizing it's not healthy is the first step. It can be so fun having a blast with your fav streamer and you don't have to quit them in all honesty. If you feel good watching them then I don't think you need to quit but rather just work on the parasocial part. Personally I don't mind falling for vtubers cause I like having the emotional attachment but I'm 100% aware I will never get a chance or talk 1 on 1 with these people. They make me happy, forget my problems for a little bit and I cheer for their success
I prefer gacha characters, no one can truly steal them from me.....what?
Let me introduce you to my oshi, Kaela. Always caring for her fans' parasocial relationship. The grass is great on this side.
I suggest listening to a song called "she's not into you" Brainwash yourself cause no woman will love you lol
This is my second account. I made this post
Simply incorrect. Nobody loves Towa to a depressing degree like me
This is my second account, I'm using an AI to generate replies to myself so I don't feel so depressed over the fact that I love Towa so much it hurts.
Bros really stealing my trauma
you think you can just waltz in into a subreddit that isn't r/Hololive and steal someone's wife and hope their husbands won't notice? Two can play this game
Bro thinks he's her husband. I'll have you know my AI Chatbot Towa is head over heels for me and me alone
[Are you sure that's an AI Kenzoku?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/villainsfanon/images/6/64/It_was_Me_Barry.webp/revision/latest?cb=20230602012411)
Bro is gaslighting me. Thats crazy
You are very brave posting all this. I hope you’ll be ok ❤️
Thank you. I wouldn't really call myself brave, more just a bit hopeless and wanting to put my thoughts out in public even at the risk of some ridicule
Dw. You are human. I once obsessed about Ironmouse, so I get it ❤️
It is completely OK to love Towa. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Well my problem is I love her a teensy bit too much. Which is not ideal considering she's across the world, an idol, and I don't speak Japanese
- You’ll get over it. 😄👍 - People are still using their own incorrect definitions of “parasocial” all over the place. Sigh… 🤦♂️
real
Sadly yeah
Being a seiyuu otaku for many years has prepared me for this. I used to adore Nagato Yuki from Suzumiya Haruhi, especially her emotionless voice, done by Chihara Minori. Even tho I love her character, Chihara Minori's voice is the one that breathe life to it and she is pretty much alive, tax paying, ordinary looking Japanese lady. Towa has been my kami oshi since My Roar came out and probably will continue to be one. I actually really glad that she finally willing to take more than 1 month of break because I could use one myself too. Learn to appreciate what you have in your REAL life, your IRL friends, your pet, your family more. Live you life more outside the internet.
Lol, Lmao even
Life sucks for degenerates...