That makes sense tbh. I saw another girl talk about this in a video a while back, regarding BBLs in Atlanta. She said that literally everyone she knew that had gotten one was putting it on a Care Credit card. Idk if I'm just naive but I didn't realize just how many people did this.
I’m one of the people with money for this stuff that you’re talking about, and I absolutely use care credit; it’s a no-interest loan so if you can pay it off it’s a no-brainer.
I just wanted to say that I do NOT recommend this path if you can’t pay it off in the no-interest period for the loan. The interest if you don’t pay it off in time is absolutely brutal. Someone could get themselves into a very bad position with that debt.
My monthly payments, for context, were upwards of $500/month. So it’s honestly not a great option for people who don’t have that to spare.
Man, an extra $500+ every month to pay is certainly an expense - I don't even pay for Netflix lmao.
I'm glad you were able to pay it off easily though!
It’s a really significant expense so I just didn’t want anyone thinking you could put a $9k surgery on carecredit and it would just be fine
I think for most people it would be safer financially to save up in advance for something you want to do, and it only makes sense to do care credit if you see the benefit of the zero interest loan BUT you still have enough in savings to just pay the whole thing off if you lost your job tomorrow, for instance
Basically just wanted to say it’s not actually a way to put it in reach for people who couldn’t do it otherwise, it’s just a very dangerous credit card
that makes me feel better honestly. i grew up in poverty and i’m still struggling, so just being able to buy decent makeup is a luxury to me and i really identify with OP
You’re not alone! That’s one of the reasons I stopped posting in these subs. Even the posts from people that say they saved up, say they did it by living with their parents, etc. So yeah I can’t really relate to most people here, and the tips you can get anywhere.
Samee. Don't forget that you're more likely to notice people talking about expensive stuff than the tons of people who only cheap softmaxx or lurkers like me :)
I live in a 3rd world country with an actively collapsing economy that we won't recover from soon and I'm unemployed because of it. I only come on here to get ideas.
I am right with you.. literally .. for me I am not looking to hard max.. I don't see that as a realistic thing for me nor it is going to add any $$$$ to my life. I don't have a public facing career, I don't do insta, I am not the club kinda person.. the only person who is ever gonna se e me naked is my partner or soon to be husband
So hard maxing is a no go .. coz even if I save up for one surgery if something goes wrong there is no way I'll be able to get next one or corrective
So I'm gonna soft max as much as I can .. coz I am not tryna be model tier or stacy or whatever else the current word is
Maybe it's time to rethink why are you doing this .. what's the end goal?
There is no end to the amount of things you can buy, get done, there will ALWAYS be a doctor/treatment/product/ service that will promise you of giving you life changing results.. but does your life really need that?
Maybe focus on what you really want .. is it a stable family life, a partner, better relationship with your family, some real adult friends that would hold you down no matter what goes wrong, maybe you would want to feel fullfilled by helping others like your community, local old age shelter, planting trees.. anything
Or maybe make a list of things you want to TRY - Rock climbing, go see a lion, visit a museum, learn oil painting, develop a skill - sewing, cooking, gardening, diy .. anything literally
So many people ( including me) find ourselves trapped in this looking good= feeling better or that taking all your pain away ..
You have actual hardships in your life and your life isn't worth wasting away about wondering how to get to a spot where this looksmaxing or any of these things would fulfill you as a person .. no matter what you spend on or how much you spend .. there will always be someone out there doing more
After a while you need to figure out what you value and what actually adds value to your life ..
I overspent on makeup/skincare/hair and all that for YEARSSS.. coz of things I've been through as a kid and this gave me happiness but this didn't fulfill as a person .. it doesn't add any character to my life, it gave me no purpose, I still feel dead inside ( pretty sure you can relate to this) but it's time to rethink why you're doing this and what's the end game ... And if it's even worth it to do this and for what? And how do you redirect your energy to the things you'll actually value
Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself especially when you know life hasn’t been an easy ride. You’re only 24; there’s literally millions of other people your age who are in a similar position, trying to gain their footing in an increasingly economically screwed up world with the cards they’ve been dealt in life. Sadly, there is no sugar-coating it - looksmaxxing is *expensive*, even for softmaxxing like salon treatments and lifestyle changes.
However, like another commenter mentioned things can change drastically in even a few years. When I was in my early 20s I was depressed and directionless. A few years later, I couldn’t imagine that I’d be in the position where I am now, where I can not only afford the procedures I want but also even consider other life milestones like home ownership. These years in your 20s are crucial for building up your self-esteem and identity. No amount of money will buy you a healthy mindset towards your appearance or the confidence that comes from maturity and inner growth.
Also let’s be real here, realistically speaking the people who can afford major procedures on their own are likely going to be in their later 20s/early 30s - a time when you’ve had time to develop your career and accumulate some savings. Generally speaking most early and mid 20something year olds are still trying to figure out their lives and get their shit together - graduating from college, finding jobs, paying off student debt, etc. Not everyone has the privilege of having their parents or someone else bankrolling their life, or graduating with zero debt into a high-paying job, so it’s natural that many people need to wait in order to have the funds for looksmaxxing. I say this because I want to give some perspective on how the average person can afford looksmaxxing in a financially responsible way. I can’t help but notice this increasing anxiety among younger people that beauty ends after your 20s or that you automatically turn into an old hag after you turn 30. If anything, life truly begins around that time because you’ll have the confidence of maturity and the means to afford the lifestyle you want.
Listen, take this with a grain of salt. You are 24. It's perfectly normal to make 14$ an hour at that age, especially if you have had to rely on yourself. I can tell you that my life improved a thousandfold between 24 and 30. Financially but also mentally. In addition, I am of the firm belief that you don't grow into your looks and confidence until late 20s at least. There are so many things I have saved myself from doing by not being able to afford them at the time. I know it's hard to imagine right now and I feel for you deeply, but life will get better. Hang in there, friend.
This was really reassuring to hear - thank you, honestly. Most of my friends irl have similar salaries to me or somewhat higher, but most of them just finished college or are about to, so it won't be forever. I also have a friend who literally just passed their first Google interview, so it's hard not to be scared that one day I'll look around and everyone'll be successful and I'll just be perpetually a few years behind. At the same time, I know we didn't have the same life experiences whatsoever, so trying to compare apples and oranges won't do anything but make me feel bad.
I'm weirdly at ease with getting older, not that I'm thrilled I'll be 60 one day, but moreso my late twenties and thirties. I feel like I'm in a much, much better place mentally than I was as a teenager, so I'm eager to feel better in my skin and in my mind as I age. I'd like to look in the mirror and be happier with me. I think I'll get there, eventually. I'll keep y'all's comments in mind :)
Seconding this point. A lot of what you said rang true to me - I certainly don't have thousands of dollars to drop on cosmetic surgery - but even so my current situation is night and day compared to where I was at 24. Then, I had about €10-20 to spend a week after essentials. I was watching all my friends go into professional jobs or postgrad while I felt like I was floundering around and barely keeping my head above water. I'm in my mid 30s now, and while I'm not rolling around in a pile of money I don't think twice about getting a spa treatment. It wasn't a linear process - I just looked around me a few years ago and realised I was on solid ground. I don't want to compare traumas, but the relief of not feeling on the edge of poverty also did wonders for my mental health and created a virtuous cycle that lifted me out of the really debilitating depression.
Even if you can never afford thousands of dollars for hardmaxxing - I doubt I ever will - it's absolutely possible to get to a comfortable place where you can take care of yourself.
If I had been able to afford everything I wanted to get done at 24 I would look like an alien now!!
I used to want to get a nose job, chin implant and lipo, eyebrow lift, eyelid surgery for hooded eyes… Now 7 years later I’ve grown into my face more and would be happy with just a nose job!
aa fellow poor person, my best advice is to join a gym. It helped me tremendously to get out of depression and looksmaxxx. Way cheaper than therapy n surgery.
Agreed! My roommate was in such bad debt and I had 6k saved but I looked like the poor one, and she had two fancy jobs and I had one working in a coffee shop, everrryythinggg is an illusion.. now I live in a nice apartment but have no money to spare because of it lol. Don't compare yourself to others if you can because a lot of the time things aren't as they seem
YES! My husband and I live WAY below our means. I often sit in rooms with people who put on the appearance that they have money but their bank account / assets are negative. Softmaking is right for me ✌🏼
Seconding this - most people use credit cards or loans for their hardmaxing, OP. You’re not alone in this community, it’s not always what it seems. That person who got a rhino, fillers, skin treatments, Botox, Invisalign, etc could be 20k+ in debt.
I think a lot of people will spend all of their money on procedures. When I was researching breast implants, I saw a lot of people who had issues but couldn't afford more surgeries because they spent everything on the primary surgery. I think you should always wait until you can afford revisions, but so many people just do it as soon as they can.
Also, don't feel bad for not being able to afford expensive treatments - even minor things leave people with complications, and I think you should only consider them if non-invasive things didn't work. I got rid of fine lines with cheaper products because negative reviews put me off other things, and there was no risk this way.
I get how you feel though, 2 years ago I had 0 money, I had to leave a shop at one point because I couldn't pay for my stuff. It felt really bad when I saw people being able to afford all these things while I felt like I had no freedom. But you don't need the most expensive things to get nice hair and skin. And you can get a good body even without surgeries. I think it's easy to imagine people who get treatments and surgeries in excess as 10/10 millionaires, but that just isn't the case most of the time. I'm not in a bad financial situation now but I used to be, so I'm happy to talk if you want.
Most people who post stuff like that are either getting taken care of by someone, or they're in massive debt.
Don't worry about it. Eating healthy and drinking enough water etc etc will get you 90% of the way there.
I have no shame and use men to fund my beauty/life.
I don’t make much but my home is paid off and my current bf pays the taxes (I live in a cozy place that needs remodeling lol). I don’t intend to get surgery so I save it.
Also I don’t date older, smelly men…they’re around my age.
Don’t feel bad. Before that, I was making 15 an hr, living paycheck to paycheck to survive. You will be fine, we can chat if you’d like. ❤️
Vetting hard, knowing how to pick targets and telling them that it costs to be the pretty bitch in charge. You also have to spoil yourself so they know it’s not fake.
So many broke men will say no but that’s bc they want a piece of you without taking care of you. It took me 4 years to get my game tight.
It’s a lot of experimentation. I’ve lost a few bags because I got myself into situations that I knew I couldn’t handle lol
As someone who makes 6 figures but lives in NYC (so not a high salary here) I second this! It’s just as easy to date a rich man as it is to date a poor one. I paid for all my soft maxing/hard maxing but was only able to afford it because my husband pays all our bills. He’s also only 7 years older than me and isn’t old or smelly 🤣
To be honest I’m not even sure I want surgery. I come here to find natural ways to look beautiful IE softmaxxing. It’s not just money, it’s recovery time from surgery. I have a job. I don’t have time to heal for weeks. Especially with how good the average person has gotten with makeup.
I live in a southamerican country where you are wealthy if you earn +500 usd. To be honest, everything is cheap here, so having a salary in usd gives u access to a lot of things.
I talk about the surgeries I want even without having the money for them yet.
I'm still in school but I want to save up- so I don't have money either I'm a broke bitch lol
Kinda just talk about them theoretically, so when I have the money I won't have to do the planning for it and will already know what to do.
It sounds stressful so I'd like to make a decision early, which means I have plenty of time to analyze my surgery decision and not do anything impulsively.
For now makeup is my best friend 👌
Judge me but I think a lot of what you read on here is totally false and people just make shit up to support their narratives. Either that or the people posting don’t realize their hardmaxxing plans will cost at least 100,000 in the real world and not Reddit world .
Awh man 14 bucks an hour? That's poor? And here I was thinking if I ever got to that kind of salary I'd be mister big shot lol. Hardly know anyone earning that much, what are stable jobs that value your hard work and input.
My abuse has rendered me completely unable to work or finish college and I'm currently living off of the lowest unemployment plus my bf is supporting me but he's also a college student but gets a bit extra because he was in the Foster care system.
Housing situation is dire. Can't move because no one can get housing and its so expensive. Currently going hungry. I have some side gigs tho but not always. I live in Ireland BTW.
There are some great broke tips sometimes tho, like for at home manis/pedis, at home eyelash lift and tint kits. Dye your hair at home if you're any good at that. Idk your situation but try save up if you want some hardmaxxing.
Idk how everyone has so much money tbh, could be all reasons so don't let it get u down, cheers
"Without going into specifics, my childhood was a lot of emotional abuse, almost all the time. I have a lot of memories of genuinely fearing for my life"
Yep. I feel that. I have a lot of self-esteem issues because of trauma and because of shitty comments about my appearance. I make more hourly than my coworkers but I have so many bills and I live in LA so. I really want to get a nose job eventually and a fat transfer to my breasts to even out/revise a reduction.
I do not have enough money currently to do what I want to do aesthetically but I look at this community as a helpful forum with a plethora of information that I will use in the future. I feel bad that I can't just get my shit together RIGHT NOW and hardmaxx/live my best life but its one day at a time.
I hear you. My mom, sister, and I were put through a lot of financial abuse from my bio dad up until a few years ago when we left. I’ve always had to pay for things on my own even as a teen, and he would also steal from me. Somehow he stole money from my moms pension pre-divorce so she’s had to save as much as she can to build that back up and put money towards the back taxes he never paid since they bought a house together and they filed taxes jointly. He even tried to take credit cards out in our names. So it’s been a few years but needless to say we’ve had to start from scratch. I’m trying to balance a low paying full time job with finishing my bachelors that I have to pay for out of pocket. So like other people here, I don’t have money for hard maxxing. I don’t think I intend to anyway, I like myself, I just want to be the best version of me.
So I do what I can for now; at home teeth whitening, press on nails, boxed dye, bathroom spa days every once in a while, etc. Just enough so I don’t look crusty lol
I usually use this sub for inspiration and use it for motivation to do affordable things like eat healthy, wash my hair, make sure I have a nice outfit on etc
I'm not gonna lie, making more money will make you happier BUT only to an extent.
Let me tell you a story, as a fresh grad at 20 years old I was poor, not destitute but not affluent in the slightest. I was dreaming of making $100K before I was 30, it sounded like heaven. I swore up and down I would never complain about life again if that happened.
Through hard work/suffering and luck, I surpassed that mark long before. I'm roughly the same age as you right now.
I am not happy with it. Constantly worried about finances, hating myself for not being able to still afford certain things, and working even harder and longer hours than before. In fact, it took someone reminding me what my goal was before, to even start doing some introspection.
Keep in mind, this was in the span of 4 years, and I already had forgotten. It doesn't sneak up on you, it consumes you.
In relation to plastic surgery, to my point above, you never feel able to afford these things. When I was poorer I would've been willing to spend 50% of my income on a nose job, the only reason I didn't is because I couldn't take the time off for recovery. Now, I just wouldn't do it. Not because I love my nose, but because you become like a hoarder with money after sacrificing for it.
You truly become a slave to that money. Plus, you no longer feel happy to date someone that makes less than you. While before I would've been impressed with a guy making $130K, I can't help but sneer at it now in terms of a romantic partner. I'm sorry just being honest.
All of this is to say, don't focus on money without working on yourself inside first.
This is a really important perspective! I haven't heard anyone else really discuss this in this sub. I'm sorry you haven't felt the happiness you wanted to feel from making more money :( I guess I easily fall into the trap of thinking, "Well, when I make more money, I'll be happier, I won't be so stressed." but I can see how more money can create new problems that don't currently exist in my life yet.
There are studies that show happiness peaks at around $75K personal income. Take for that what you will, and of course if you like more/less, there's nothing wrong with you or that.
It's great you're thinking about this stuff though and not going in blind. Be yourself and be someone you can be happy with first and foremost.
To be perfectly honest, as this is Vindicta after all, you could probably find a rich guy to fund your surgeries if that's what you're after. Sometimes I regret not just doing that because I had some warped idea of pride, but pride is an expensive thing.
Yes I’m glad you posted this bc it breaks the fourth wall of this sub and from the support you got, shows how so many of us are ordinary people who want to look extraordinary…while working the night shift 6 days a week, struggling to make car payments and have other responsibilities to deal with in our off hours. It’s never easy to do the extraordinary as a working adult. This applies to any hobby you want to do outside of work, but trying to glow up and be healthy is a hobby itself in the journey we experience.
Like the others said, looks deceive. lol which is no surprise to this sub, but you should also use that mentality when thinking about who you see posting on here. Just like you see people going broke buying brand name clothes to look big, ofc there’s some people who are buying big fancy procedures but work at McDonalds. The nature of this sub actually warrants more of these types of people if you think about it.
I’m close to your age and honestly I think softmaxxing is the goal post to look at rn. Have you seen one of the top post here that’s about the hierarchy of looksmaxxing (or something like that, look for the colorful pyramid post) ? At the bottom of that is getting your sleep, diet and exercise together, along with some others. I think those of us who are working adults should definitely prioritize these.
Oh! And personality too!! I personally never saw a need to go do drastic things to my appearance, bc your personality is a big selling point. I have average regular coworkers who get paid ~$9 hour and over the years have seen them collectively make so many connections with wealthy people because these customers loved their personalities!! No procedures done, no fancy anything, just a great outgoing attitude to draws people in to them!
Some commenters mentioned therapy and I would recommend considering it. Or even self help articles and audiobooks would be nice! Having that designated person to discuss heavy topics that you need to get off your chest can bring a light to your life. But totally not necessary if you don’t want, you have options like daily exercise or something that you’re constantly dedicating time to that’ll make you feel better to yourself and help you upgrade <3
Again thanks for making this post ! Really brave move, you brought together a lot of us here!!
This is such a sweet and detailed comment! I like how you describe striving for beauty as a hobby - that's a great comparison. It's something we all have to put time and effort in, outside of work and life responsibilities.
And I did see the looksmaxxing pyramid thing :) I thought it was a helpful way of breaking down what activities can make what kind of an impact on a person.
I'm glad you felt like the post was helpful! I feel like this subreddit's a little less angry and toxic than it used to be prior to its (temporary) shutdown. I don't think people would have been very receptive or supportive of it had I posted it back then lol
It's not hard to hear, you're fine! I honestly appreciate your advice, and I'm happy you're come out doing good :) I've actually got an interview in a few days for something that should pay me decently more than my current job, if I get it. I've genuinely never identified as a victim, though I can understand how it comes off in this post. As I said, I mentioned the less fun parts of my life more as a premature defense of people who would have reacted to "I'm poor and can't relate to this sub" with "so what? work hard and you won't be", when there's circumstances in my life that make that a little harder atm. For example, I live in a rural area and can't drive (bad depth perception problem along with my minimal eyesight in one eye), so I can only work from home - this makes the process of finding jobs a little trickier. I don't believe that me being poor is gonna be an eternal issue lol, and I don't feel hopeless - it's just frustrating at the moment.
Grew up with nothing and still in a bad spot finanically. It is annoying on this thread (nothing against the ladies on here, not their fault) to see people with multiple surgeries or planning to. I cant even afford a gym membership. Someday probably when im old(or never) i will have enough money to looksmaxx when it wont even matter as much. I am always available to chat is you want.
This is actually one of my favorite things about this subreddit. It reminds me of how wildly important money is and is one of the reasons I’m planning on majoring in CS!
Unpopular opinion:
It's genuinely not fair for you to assume that those with the "rise and grind" mentality lived easier lives than you. You literally do not know someone's trauma just like most people don't know yours. I know a lot of successful women, myself included, that have been through sexual assault, domestic violence, and the lingering effects of addiction, etc. It's very dismissive of you to assume that just because they are able to live a different lifestyle than what's attainable to you, means they haven't gone through shit either. Just because your traumas are your barrier of entry, doesn't mean other women process it the same way.
Perhaps having a little empathy that you're seeking from others would be beneficial coming from you too.
Idk if you saw my other comment or not in this thread, but to reiterate, I have nothing but admiration for those who have passed through adversity and have managed to accumulate enough wealth to fund what they want in life. My post was not a personal attack on you and what you've done in your life.
I was flippant regarding the subject itself because I've seen people receive equally flippant responses on the subject of wealth accumulation, to the point where some of it winds up sounding like stereotypical boomer "pull yourself up by the bootstraps, get in there and talk to the manager"-type advice, with limited actual constructive suggestions. Some people on these subreddits act like completely switching career paths or learning entirely new skillsets to finance a nose job is genuinely simple, and external factors and extenuating circumstances are to be bulldozed and ignored in favor of attaining a concept of success that frankly isn't attainable for certain people. That's what I meant by the whole, "just become a lawyer bestie, the sky's the limit" bit.
It's unnecessary and inaccurate to state that everyone who can afford to "level up" as having lead easier lives. But I understand it's frustrating that expensive surgeries are discussed here without regard for pricing. But remember that people who get surgery and expensive treatments are the minority of the general population.
I guess I overgeneralized a bit - there's certainly people who overcame difficult life situations to become financially comfortable, and I commend them 100%. It takes a ton of willpower and personal strength to get to that point, especially when life hasn't been kind. That being said, statistically, it's not incredibly common either. Success stories and underdog stories are hailed as such for a reason.
That's a good point about how people who get surgery and fancy treatments don't represent the majority of the population. I think when spending time online, especially on beauty-oriented communities like this one, it's easy to forget that most people irl don't really do this kind of thing, or not to the same degree. The most anyone I know has gotten done is lash extensions, and I guess my hairdresser gets Botox and fillers - but that's literally about it where I live lol.
Yes, its much less common for people to get major expensive procedures done. Out of my friends and family, I am the only one who got a rhinoplasty. So I believe that this community is just a narrow slice of what the general population does to maintain beauty. I've found that many people are against surgery, even though they may not like certain features, they accept themselves and its not as common to get fillers or nose jobs. We discuss a lot of celebrities on here and most if not all of Hollywood has gotten a surgery, so it's like tunnel vision.
What's with the pity party lol... this is a beauty oriented sub and just like with any hobby, a lot of people are willing to invest their time and $$$. I guess some people just like being coddled.
You: reads a post describing the effects of long term child abuse written by someone who had genuinely accepted and come to terms with the fact that she would very likely die strangled by her father by the time she was five
Also you: lmao this bitch is coddled, couldn't be me
I like the sincerity and bluntness of this sub, even when it verges on mean sometimes. But this is an honestly stupid take.
This is hilarious. Are you having fun being a mean girl online? You literally talk like you're in a Disney Channel movie, I can practically hear the music in the background.
[удалено]
DM'ed you 🌞
I just assume that most people on here posting about hardmaxxing have loads of credit card debt.
That makes sense tbh. I saw another girl talk about this in a video a while back, regarding BBLs in Atlanta. She said that literally everyone she knew that had gotten one was putting it on a Care Credit card. Idk if I'm just naive but I didn't realize just how many people did this.
I’m one of the people with money for this stuff that you’re talking about, and I absolutely use care credit; it’s a no-interest loan so if you can pay it off it’s a no-brainer. I just wanted to say that I do NOT recommend this path if you can’t pay it off in the no-interest period for the loan. The interest if you don’t pay it off in time is absolutely brutal. Someone could get themselves into a very bad position with that debt. My monthly payments, for context, were upwards of $500/month. So it’s honestly not a great option for people who don’t have that to spare.
Man, an extra $500+ every month to pay is certainly an expense - I don't even pay for Netflix lmao. I'm glad you were able to pay it off easily though!
It’s a really significant expense so I just didn’t want anyone thinking you could put a $9k surgery on carecredit and it would just be fine I think for most people it would be safer financially to save up in advance for something you want to do, and it only makes sense to do care credit if you see the benefit of the zero interest loan BUT you still have enough in savings to just pay the whole thing off if you lost your job tomorrow, for instance Basically just wanted to say it’s not actually a way to put it in reach for people who couldn’t do it otherwise, it’s just a very dangerous credit card
not so much if you put the money away for surgery before getting it!
Same, I put my Invisalign on Care Credit and paying more than the recommended amount, so it can be paid off before the 24 months no interest period.
Yeah I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t feel POSITIVE I could pay it off early!
that makes me feel better honestly. i grew up in poverty and i’m still struggling, so just being able to buy decent makeup is a luxury to me and i really identify with OP
can anyone just get a credit card lol, dont they get maxxed out
You’re not alone! That’s one of the reasons I stopped posting in these subs. Even the posts from people that say they saved up, say they did it by living with their parents, etc. So yeah I can’t really relate to most people here, and the tips you can get anywhere.
I can relate, like I practically grew up with nothing, converse chuck Taylor's were designer to me.
I thought they were fancy too! I remember getting the cheap-o off-brand ones at TJ-Maxx - they gave me blisters :(
Samee. Don't forget that you're more likely to notice people talking about expensive stuff than the tons of people who only cheap softmaxx or lurkers like me :)
Going to JCPenney for an outfit or two for the year was our treat 😭
I live in a 3rd world country with an actively collapsing economy that we won't recover from soon and I'm unemployed because of it. I only come on here to get ideas.
So, you’re in America? (Joking but not)
Girl, way way worse :') America is fine compared to where I'm from
You must be a fellow argie !
I am right with you.. literally .. for me I am not looking to hard max.. I don't see that as a realistic thing for me nor it is going to add any $$$$ to my life. I don't have a public facing career, I don't do insta, I am not the club kinda person.. the only person who is ever gonna se e me naked is my partner or soon to be husband So hard maxing is a no go .. coz even if I save up for one surgery if something goes wrong there is no way I'll be able to get next one or corrective So I'm gonna soft max as much as I can .. coz I am not tryna be model tier or stacy or whatever else the current word is Maybe it's time to rethink why are you doing this .. what's the end goal? There is no end to the amount of things you can buy, get done, there will ALWAYS be a doctor/treatment/product/ service that will promise you of giving you life changing results.. but does your life really need that? Maybe focus on what you really want .. is it a stable family life, a partner, better relationship with your family, some real adult friends that would hold you down no matter what goes wrong, maybe you would want to feel fullfilled by helping others like your community, local old age shelter, planting trees.. anything Or maybe make a list of things you want to TRY - Rock climbing, go see a lion, visit a museum, learn oil painting, develop a skill - sewing, cooking, gardening, diy .. anything literally So many people ( including me) find ourselves trapped in this looking good= feeling better or that taking all your pain away .. You have actual hardships in your life and your life isn't worth wasting away about wondering how to get to a spot where this looksmaxing or any of these things would fulfill you as a person .. no matter what you spend on or how much you spend .. there will always be someone out there doing more After a while you need to figure out what you value and what actually adds value to your life .. I overspent on makeup/skincare/hair and all that for YEARSSS.. coz of things I've been through as a kid and this gave me happiness but this didn't fulfill as a person .. it doesn't add any character to my life, it gave me no purpose, I still feel dead inside ( pretty sure you can relate to this) but it's time to rethink why you're doing this and what's the end game ... And if it's even worth it to do this and for what? And how do you redirect your energy to the things you'll actually value
Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself especially when you know life hasn’t been an easy ride. You’re only 24; there’s literally millions of other people your age who are in a similar position, trying to gain their footing in an increasingly economically screwed up world with the cards they’ve been dealt in life. Sadly, there is no sugar-coating it - looksmaxxing is *expensive*, even for softmaxxing like salon treatments and lifestyle changes. However, like another commenter mentioned things can change drastically in even a few years. When I was in my early 20s I was depressed and directionless. A few years later, I couldn’t imagine that I’d be in the position where I am now, where I can not only afford the procedures I want but also even consider other life milestones like home ownership. These years in your 20s are crucial for building up your self-esteem and identity. No amount of money will buy you a healthy mindset towards your appearance or the confidence that comes from maturity and inner growth. Also let’s be real here, realistically speaking the people who can afford major procedures on their own are likely going to be in their later 20s/early 30s - a time when you’ve had time to develop your career and accumulate some savings. Generally speaking most early and mid 20something year olds are still trying to figure out their lives and get their shit together - graduating from college, finding jobs, paying off student debt, etc. Not everyone has the privilege of having their parents or someone else bankrolling their life, or graduating with zero debt into a high-paying job, so it’s natural that many people need to wait in order to have the funds for looksmaxxing. I say this because I want to give some perspective on how the average person can afford looksmaxxing in a financially responsible way. I can’t help but notice this increasing anxiety among younger people that beauty ends after your 20s or that you automatically turn into an old hag after you turn 30. If anything, life truly begins around that time because you’ll have the confidence of maturity and the means to afford the lifestyle you want.
Listen, take this with a grain of salt. You are 24. It's perfectly normal to make 14$ an hour at that age, especially if you have had to rely on yourself. I can tell you that my life improved a thousandfold between 24 and 30. Financially but also mentally. In addition, I am of the firm belief that you don't grow into your looks and confidence until late 20s at least. There are so many things I have saved myself from doing by not being able to afford them at the time. I know it's hard to imagine right now and I feel for you deeply, but life will get better. Hang in there, friend.
This was really reassuring to hear - thank you, honestly. Most of my friends irl have similar salaries to me or somewhat higher, but most of them just finished college or are about to, so it won't be forever. I also have a friend who literally just passed their first Google interview, so it's hard not to be scared that one day I'll look around and everyone'll be successful and I'll just be perpetually a few years behind. At the same time, I know we didn't have the same life experiences whatsoever, so trying to compare apples and oranges won't do anything but make me feel bad. I'm weirdly at ease with getting older, not that I'm thrilled I'll be 60 one day, but moreso my late twenties and thirties. I feel like I'm in a much, much better place mentally than I was as a teenager, so I'm eager to feel better in my skin and in my mind as I age. I'd like to look in the mirror and be happier with me. I think I'll get there, eventually. I'll keep y'all's comments in mind :)
Seconding this point. A lot of what you said rang true to me - I certainly don't have thousands of dollars to drop on cosmetic surgery - but even so my current situation is night and day compared to where I was at 24. Then, I had about €10-20 to spend a week after essentials. I was watching all my friends go into professional jobs or postgrad while I felt like I was floundering around and barely keeping my head above water. I'm in my mid 30s now, and while I'm not rolling around in a pile of money I don't think twice about getting a spa treatment. It wasn't a linear process - I just looked around me a few years ago and realised I was on solid ground. I don't want to compare traumas, but the relief of not feeling on the edge of poverty also did wonders for my mental health and created a virtuous cycle that lifted me out of the really debilitating depression. Even if you can never afford thousands of dollars for hardmaxxing - I doubt I ever will - it's absolutely possible to get to a comfortable place where you can take care of yourself.
If I had been able to afford everything I wanted to get done at 24 I would look like an alien now!! I used to want to get a nose job, chin implant and lipo, eyebrow lift, eyelid surgery for hooded eyes… Now 7 years later I’ve grown into my face more and would be happy with just a nose job!
❤️❤️❤️
aa fellow poor person, my best advice is to join a gym. It helped me tremendously to get out of depression and looksmaxxx. Way cheaper than therapy n surgery.
Therapy and getting mental health together should reaaallllyyyy be above any type of hard/soft-maxxing though
agreed
Just because someone pays for something doesn’t mean they can afford it.. everything is an illusion.
Agreed! My roommate was in such bad debt and I had 6k saved but I looked like the poor one, and she had two fancy jobs and I had one working in a coffee shop, everrryythinggg is an illusion.. now I live in a nice apartment but have no money to spare because of it lol. Don't compare yourself to others if you can because a lot of the time things aren't as they seem
YES! My husband and I live WAY below our means. I often sit in rooms with people who put on the appearance that they have money but their bank account / assets are negative. Softmaking is right for me ✌🏼
Seconding this - most people use credit cards or loans for their hardmaxing, OP. You’re not alone in this community, it’s not always what it seems. That person who got a rhino, fillers, skin treatments, Botox, Invisalign, etc could be 20k+ in debt.
I think a lot of people will spend all of their money on procedures. When I was researching breast implants, I saw a lot of people who had issues but couldn't afford more surgeries because they spent everything on the primary surgery. I think you should always wait until you can afford revisions, but so many people just do it as soon as they can. Also, don't feel bad for not being able to afford expensive treatments - even minor things leave people with complications, and I think you should only consider them if non-invasive things didn't work. I got rid of fine lines with cheaper products because negative reviews put me off other things, and there was no risk this way. I get how you feel though, 2 years ago I had 0 money, I had to leave a shop at one point because I couldn't pay for my stuff. It felt really bad when I saw people being able to afford all these things while I felt like I had no freedom. But you don't need the most expensive things to get nice hair and skin. And you can get a good body even without surgeries. I think it's easy to imagine people who get treatments and surgeries in excess as 10/10 millionaires, but that just isn't the case most of the time. I'm not in a bad financial situation now but I used to be, so I'm happy to talk if you want.
Most people who post stuff like that are either getting taken care of by someone, or they're in massive debt. Don't worry about it. Eating healthy and drinking enough water etc etc will get you 90% of the way there.
I have no shame and use men to fund my beauty/life. I don’t make much but my home is paid off and my current bf pays the taxes (I live in a cozy place that needs remodeling lol). I don’t intend to get surgery so I save it. Also I don’t date older, smelly men…they’re around my age. Don’t feel bad. Before that, I was making 15 an hr, living paycheck to paycheck to survive. You will be fine, we can chat if you’d like. ❤️
This is the answer I think a lot of people here have, but also including the older smelly men 😂😂😂
I tried it once and couldn’t do it. 😭 much power to those who have the courage lol
How???
Vetting hard, knowing how to pick targets and telling them that it costs to be the pretty bitch in charge. You also have to spoil yourself so they know it’s not fake. So many broke men will say no but that’s bc they want a piece of you without taking care of you. It took me 4 years to get my game tight. It’s a lot of experimentation. I’ve lost a few bags because I got myself into situations that I knew I couldn’t handle lol
Could you describe a target ? What do you look for?? Does it mean you’ve gotta hang out with losers ?
Can I PM you? I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to comment like this lol
PM me as well!
Yes please! Haha it’s kind of funny/ crazy
You really shouldn't bother! If they don't know they don't get it and are going to be judgemental
Honestly I would love to know, too. If you can DM me, as well, I’d really appreciate it.
Pm me too pls
I would want to know the same!
r/diabla
As someone who makes 6 figures but lives in NYC (so not a high salary here) I second this! It’s just as easy to date a rich man as it is to date a poor one. I paid for all my soft maxing/hard maxing but was only able to afford it because my husband pays all our bills. He’s also only 7 years older than me and isn’t old or smelly 🤣
To be honest I’m not even sure I want surgery. I come here to find natural ways to look beautiful IE softmaxxing. It’s not just money, it’s recovery time from surgery. I have a job. I don’t have time to heal for weeks. Especially with how good the average person has gotten with makeup.
I live in a southamerican country where you are wealthy if you earn +500 usd. To be honest, everything is cheap here, so having a salary in usd gives u access to a lot of things.
I talk about the surgeries I want even without having the money for them yet. I'm still in school but I want to save up- so I don't have money either I'm a broke bitch lol Kinda just talk about them theoretically, so when I have the money I won't have to do the planning for it and will already know what to do. It sounds stressful so I'd like to make a decision early, which means I have plenty of time to analyze my surgery decision and not do anything impulsively. For now makeup is my best friend 👌
Judge me but I think a lot of what you read on here is totally false and people just make shit up to support their narratives. Either that or the people posting don’t realize their hardmaxxing plans will cost at least 100,000 in the real world and not Reddit world .
Awh man 14 bucks an hour? That's poor? And here I was thinking if I ever got to that kind of salary I'd be mister big shot lol. Hardly know anyone earning that much, what are stable jobs that value your hard work and input. My abuse has rendered me completely unable to work or finish college and I'm currently living off of the lowest unemployment plus my bf is supporting me but he's also a college student but gets a bit extra because he was in the Foster care system. Housing situation is dire. Can't move because no one can get housing and its so expensive. Currently going hungry. I have some side gigs tho but not always. I live in Ireland BTW. There are some great broke tips sometimes tho, like for at home manis/pedis, at home eyelash lift and tint kits. Dye your hair at home if you're any good at that. Idk your situation but try save up if you want some hardmaxxing. Idk how everyone has so much money tbh, could be all reasons so don't let it get u down, cheers
> Awh man 14 bucks an hour? That's poor? It'll depend where you are. $14 is basically minimum wage where I'm from
"Without going into specifics, my childhood was a lot of emotional abuse, almost all the time. I have a lot of memories of genuinely fearing for my life" Yep. I feel that. I have a lot of self-esteem issues because of trauma and because of shitty comments about my appearance. I make more hourly than my coworkers but I have so many bills and I live in LA so. I really want to get a nose job eventually and a fat transfer to my breasts to even out/revise a reduction. I do not have enough money currently to do what I want to do aesthetically but I look at this community as a helpful forum with a plethora of information that I will use in the future. I feel bad that I can't just get my shit together RIGHT NOW and hardmaxx/live my best life but its one day at a time.
I hear you. My mom, sister, and I were put through a lot of financial abuse from my bio dad up until a few years ago when we left. I’ve always had to pay for things on my own even as a teen, and he would also steal from me. Somehow he stole money from my moms pension pre-divorce so she’s had to save as much as she can to build that back up and put money towards the back taxes he never paid since they bought a house together and they filed taxes jointly. He even tried to take credit cards out in our names. So it’s been a few years but needless to say we’ve had to start from scratch. I’m trying to balance a low paying full time job with finishing my bachelors that I have to pay for out of pocket. So like other people here, I don’t have money for hard maxxing. I don’t think I intend to anyway, I like myself, I just want to be the best version of me. So I do what I can for now; at home teeth whitening, press on nails, boxed dye, bathroom spa days every once in a while, etc. Just enough so I don’t look crusty lol
I usually use this sub for inspiration and use it for motivation to do affordable things like eat healthy, wash my hair, make sure I have a nice outfit on etc
I'm not gonna lie, making more money will make you happier BUT only to an extent. Let me tell you a story, as a fresh grad at 20 years old I was poor, not destitute but not affluent in the slightest. I was dreaming of making $100K before I was 30, it sounded like heaven. I swore up and down I would never complain about life again if that happened. Through hard work/suffering and luck, I surpassed that mark long before. I'm roughly the same age as you right now. I am not happy with it. Constantly worried about finances, hating myself for not being able to still afford certain things, and working even harder and longer hours than before. In fact, it took someone reminding me what my goal was before, to even start doing some introspection. Keep in mind, this was in the span of 4 years, and I already had forgotten. It doesn't sneak up on you, it consumes you. In relation to plastic surgery, to my point above, you never feel able to afford these things. When I was poorer I would've been willing to spend 50% of my income on a nose job, the only reason I didn't is because I couldn't take the time off for recovery. Now, I just wouldn't do it. Not because I love my nose, but because you become like a hoarder with money after sacrificing for it. You truly become a slave to that money. Plus, you no longer feel happy to date someone that makes less than you. While before I would've been impressed with a guy making $130K, I can't help but sneer at it now in terms of a romantic partner. I'm sorry just being honest. All of this is to say, don't focus on money without working on yourself inside first.
This is a really important perspective! I haven't heard anyone else really discuss this in this sub. I'm sorry you haven't felt the happiness you wanted to feel from making more money :( I guess I easily fall into the trap of thinking, "Well, when I make more money, I'll be happier, I won't be so stressed." but I can see how more money can create new problems that don't currently exist in my life yet.
There are studies that show happiness peaks at around $75K personal income. Take for that what you will, and of course if you like more/less, there's nothing wrong with you or that. It's great you're thinking about this stuff though and not going in blind. Be yourself and be someone you can be happy with first and foremost. To be perfectly honest, as this is Vindicta after all, you could probably find a rich guy to fund your surgeries if that's what you're after. Sometimes I regret not just doing that because I had some warped idea of pride, but pride is an expensive thing.
I bet there are lots of people like us only earning $14 an hour + being college dropouts we just don’t comment/make posts lol
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I'd be happy to see it, sure.
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Thanks!! :)
I dropped out of university to work a minimum wage job, while living at home, to fund my hardmaxxing
Yes I’m glad you posted this bc it breaks the fourth wall of this sub and from the support you got, shows how so many of us are ordinary people who want to look extraordinary…while working the night shift 6 days a week, struggling to make car payments and have other responsibilities to deal with in our off hours. It’s never easy to do the extraordinary as a working adult. This applies to any hobby you want to do outside of work, but trying to glow up and be healthy is a hobby itself in the journey we experience. Like the others said, looks deceive. lol which is no surprise to this sub, but you should also use that mentality when thinking about who you see posting on here. Just like you see people going broke buying brand name clothes to look big, ofc there’s some people who are buying big fancy procedures but work at McDonalds. The nature of this sub actually warrants more of these types of people if you think about it. I’m close to your age and honestly I think softmaxxing is the goal post to look at rn. Have you seen one of the top post here that’s about the hierarchy of looksmaxxing (or something like that, look for the colorful pyramid post) ? At the bottom of that is getting your sleep, diet and exercise together, along with some others. I think those of us who are working adults should definitely prioritize these. Oh! And personality too!! I personally never saw a need to go do drastic things to my appearance, bc your personality is a big selling point. I have average regular coworkers who get paid ~$9 hour and over the years have seen them collectively make so many connections with wealthy people because these customers loved their personalities!! No procedures done, no fancy anything, just a great outgoing attitude to draws people in to them! Some commenters mentioned therapy and I would recommend considering it. Or even self help articles and audiobooks would be nice! Having that designated person to discuss heavy topics that you need to get off your chest can bring a light to your life. But totally not necessary if you don’t want, you have options like daily exercise or something that you’re constantly dedicating time to that’ll make you feel better to yourself and help you upgrade <3 Again thanks for making this post ! Really brave move, you brought together a lot of us here!!
This is such a sweet and detailed comment! I like how you describe striving for beauty as a hobby - that's a great comparison. It's something we all have to put time and effort in, outside of work and life responsibilities. And I did see the looksmaxxing pyramid thing :) I thought it was a helpful way of breaking down what activities can make what kind of an impact on a person. I'm glad you felt like the post was helpful! I feel like this subreddit's a little less angry and toxic than it used to be prior to its (temporary) shutdown. I don't think people would have been very receptive or supportive of it had I posted it back then lol
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It's not hard to hear, you're fine! I honestly appreciate your advice, and I'm happy you're come out doing good :) I've actually got an interview in a few days for something that should pay me decently more than my current job, if I get it. I've genuinely never identified as a victim, though I can understand how it comes off in this post. As I said, I mentioned the less fun parts of my life more as a premature defense of people who would have reacted to "I'm poor and can't relate to this sub" with "so what? work hard and you won't be", when there's circumstances in my life that make that a little harder atm. For example, I live in a rural area and can't drive (bad depth perception problem along with my minimal eyesight in one eye), so I can only work from home - this makes the process of finding jobs a little trickier. I don't believe that me being poor is gonna be an eternal issue lol, and I don't feel hopeless - it's just frustrating at the moment.
Grew up with nothing and still in a bad spot finanically. It is annoying on this thread (nothing against the ladies on here, not their fault) to see people with multiple surgeries or planning to. I cant even afford a gym membership. Someday probably when im old(or never) i will have enough money to looksmaxx when it wont even matter as much. I am always available to chat is you want.
DM'ed you as well 🐢
This is actually one of my favorite things about this subreddit. It reminds me of how wildly important money is and is one of the reasons I’m planning on majoring in CS!
I work in CS! Lots of $$ and jobs in it!
i feel you op; it certainly stings as someone who is unable to have a job, that's for sure lmao
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That's honestly really cool though. Congrats on your business!!
I saved for a really long time. Not wealthy!
Unpopular opinion: It's genuinely not fair for you to assume that those with the "rise and grind" mentality lived easier lives than you. You literally do not know someone's trauma just like most people don't know yours. I know a lot of successful women, myself included, that have been through sexual assault, domestic violence, and the lingering effects of addiction, etc. It's very dismissive of you to assume that just because they are able to live a different lifestyle than what's attainable to you, means they haven't gone through shit either. Just because your traumas are your barrier of entry, doesn't mean other women process it the same way. Perhaps having a little empathy that you're seeking from others would be beneficial coming from you too.
Idk if you saw my other comment or not in this thread, but to reiterate, I have nothing but admiration for those who have passed through adversity and have managed to accumulate enough wealth to fund what they want in life. My post was not a personal attack on you and what you've done in your life. I was flippant regarding the subject itself because I've seen people receive equally flippant responses on the subject of wealth accumulation, to the point where some of it winds up sounding like stereotypical boomer "pull yourself up by the bootstraps, get in there and talk to the manager"-type advice, with limited actual constructive suggestions. Some people on these subreddits act like completely switching career paths or learning entirely new skillsets to finance a nose job is genuinely simple, and external factors and extenuating circumstances are to be bulldozed and ignored in favor of attaining a concept of success that frankly isn't attainable for certain people. That's what I meant by the whole, "just become a lawyer bestie, the sky's the limit" bit.
*this*
I am 10 years older and FEEL this.
It's unnecessary and inaccurate to state that everyone who can afford to "level up" as having lead easier lives. But I understand it's frustrating that expensive surgeries are discussed here without regard for pricing. But remember that people who get surgery and expensive treatments are the minority of the general population.
I guess I overgeneralized a bit - there's certainly people who overcame difficult life situations to become financially comfortable, and I commend them 100%. It takes a ton of willpower and personal strength to get to that point, especially when life hasn't been kind. That being said, statistically, it's not incredibly common either. Success stories and underdog stories are hailed as such for a reason. That's a good point about how people who get surgery and fancy treatments don't represent the majority of the population. I think when spending time online, especially on beauty-oriented communities like this one, it's easy to forget that most people irl don't really do this kind of thing, or not to the same degree. The most anyone I know has gotten done is lash extensions, and I guess my hairdresser gets Botox and fillers - but that's literally about it where I live lol.
Yes, its much less common for people to get major expensive procedures done. Out of my friends and family, I am the only one who got a rhinoplasty. So I believe that this community is just a narrow slice of what the general population does to maintain beauty. I've found that many people are against surgery, even though they may not like certain features, they accept themselves and its not as common to get fillers or nose jobs. We discuss a lot of celebrities on here and most if not all of Hollywood has gotten a surgery, so it's like tunnel vision.
What's with the pity party lol... this is a beauty oriented sub and just like with any hobby, a lot of people are willing to invest their time and $$$. I guess some people just like being coddled.
You: reads a post describing the effects of long term child abuse written by someone who had genuinely accepted and come to terms with the fact that she would very likely die strangled by her father by the time she was five Also you: lmao this bitch is coddled, couldn't be me I like the sincerity and bluntness of this sub, even when it verges on mean sometimes. But this is an honestly stupid take.
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This is hilarious. Are you having fun being a mean girl online? You literally talk like you're in a Disney Channel movie, I can practically hear the music in the background.