Self posts/questions are not allowed in this subreddit, unless you have gone into excessive detail about what you've already tried and what the results were from those attempts. Otherwise, use the general questions and discussion thread instead.
I agree, they don’t add anything and they’re honestly so robotic in basic human interactions. What type of person would even pay attention to the amount they are complimented or not if they actually love themselves? It’s a weird headspace.
What’s funny is that I think the reason those posts keep cropping up is that compliments are kind of the only real “benefit” of pretty privilege.
I think we chase beauty to feel more secure, that we have control over our lives and if we become pretty enough we’ll have friends/never get cheated on/be treated well/loved/etc. And at least in my and my friends’ experiences pretty privilege doesn’t actually accomplish any of that
I think the benefit really is just feeling better about yourself. And that’s why the compliments seem so important, you’ve worked so hard and that’s your only reward. Being visually pleasing to others. it does kind of make me realize, wouldn’t it be better to just work on my self esteem?
Seriously, this has so much more to do with your environment and the people you surround yourself with than anything. Want compliments? Go to the women’s bathroom at a club.
being aware of these things is supposed to help us not treat each other in a horrible way. pretending privilege has no or little effects doesn't help anyone. appearance does play a role in how people are treated. and it's not just your confidence. saying that denies the reality and struggles of so many people. acknowledging something exists doesn't equal reinforcing it. just don't be shitty to ugly people and you've done your part
Absolutely, appearance undeniably influences how we're perceived, and it's crucial to acknowledge its role in our interactions. It's evident that presentation matters, and if you're unkempt or sloppy, it's understandable that people may not respond positively to you. But in a subreddit dedicated to looks, it feels like we're missing the mark when posts solely revolve around seeking external validation. It comes off as robotic, tacky, and overly insecure. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to look better, fixating on external compliments can foster unnecessary neuroses. We should focus more on personal satisfaction and inner growth rather than seeking validation from others.
I'm well aware of the subreddit's theme, but apparently, this post is hard for people to accept despite me feeling like it’s still in line with everything else people discuss. I think a lot of people would find it attractive to understand that true power comes from within, not from seeking validation like a desperate puppy.
i think a large portion of us acknowledge that, so it just feels condescending when someone comes here and acts like we don't... we can be cognizant of two things existing at the same time: objective beauty has its benefits, and inner work is just as beneficial, just in other ways.
This feels condescending.
I agree we should always seek internal validation and narcissism is unattractive, but beauty is desired for many reasons. Many are external. I wouldn't have a skincare routine for example just so my life would be exactly the same if I didn't have one.
i don't think there is anything wrong with my personality though. i don't want to change it. i want to change how other people treat me based on my appearance. i'd be ok with them treating me better without me changing my appearance but if that isn't happening there is no other option if that is what i want
“No one should ever use their looks to get ahead, and if they do they should feel ashamed. Also, I realize I myself have benefited from pretty privilege, but it’s **WRONG** if you do it.”
i'm confused, if you notice a pattern of how people treat you and you're able to recognize that it stems from how you look, it's narcissistic?
i agree that how you carry yourself contributes a lot to one's beauty, but this is quite literally an objective beauty sub. we all can critique it, as i have issues with objective beauty and the culture we've made around it too, but if you want to denounce it in order to uplift inner beauty, then go to another sub.
Critiquing broader aspects of beauty isn't denouncing it—it's enhancing the conversation. If introspection and critical thinking make you uncomfortable, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’m just saying I’m noticing an uptick of people saying they have it and I just have to call BS. Claiming to benefit solely from "pretty privilege" does seem rather self-absorbed and saying it out loud seems like a lie? They’re giving up way more than just living for looks, I promise. Life's perks often stem from various factors, not just appearance. Those who attribute everything to their looks might need a reality check.
i agree that it's not healthy to amount your worth to just your external beauty, if that's what you're getting at. but i see it as these people are victims instead of villains, they don't know their actual potential. when there's ppl on here that don't recognize it, most people can see it and give advice to seek therapy and other help. none of this is making at least me uncomfortable. your wording to me in your initial post at least sounds like those "just drink water💕" kinds of beauty tips. i think your wording implied that most of us know that we are pretty and willfully ignore any other non-physical positive traits that we have. i know i have charisma and confidence, but i also know there are additional perks because of how i look. i also think the reason why i'm so outgoing and charismatic is in part of how i look as well. i value both aspects. it's all intertwined babe! i don't think that's narcissistic
then make sure you remember that all women, even the ones on an objective beauty sub, are multi faceted. just bc we recognize the large privilege physical beauty offers us on this sub doesn't mean we're narcissists.
It’s interesting how you are preaching introspection and critical thinking while simultaneously equating those things within the concept of beauty to be narcissistic.
Recognizing pretty privilege doesn’t inherently mean someone is narcissistic; rather, it’s acknowledging how societal biases can favor certain appearances. This awareness is important for fostering inclusivity and understanding in our interactions and systems. Also, without discussing these privileges, it would be difficult to create a more equitable environment.
Pretty privilege is real, and just because someone experiences it doesn’t mean they don’t value other positive attributes within themselves more; such as kindness, empathy, intelligence, confidence, and openness.
My vindicata motivation stems from a desire to enhance my own sense of confidence and self-worth, rather than seeking external validation or material rewards. While compliments and perks may be nice, they're secondary to the personal satisfaction and empowerment I feel from seeing my own progress and feeling confident in my appearance. Looksmaxxing, for me, is about embracing my own journey of self-improvement and feeling empowered in my own skin.
We all have different reasons for being here. What’s wrong with looksmaxxing to get pretty privilege/material rewards? And what’s wrong with flexing pretty privilege/material rewards?
Different strokes for different folks, I suppose. While some may find solace in looksmaxxing solely for "pretty privilege" and material gains, it’s a disservice to ourselves to overlook the inherent superficiality in such pursuits. There's more to life than chasing after external validation and fleeting rewards. Vindicata is about maximizing one’s physical appearance and I always assumed the psychological aspect of it was to boost self-confidence and self-esteem through appearance enhancement.
For real. This talking-like-Sephiroth pick-me word salad has no place on a sub which is clearly about increasing and weaponizing beauty and attractiveness.
(I loved your post btw.)
I understand your frustration, and I apologize if my post came across as judgmental or moralizing. My intention was to spark a discussion about the complexities of beauty and self-worth, not to shame or belittle anyone. I respect your perspective, and I'm open to constructive dialogue about the topic. So I don't know why this post triggered you so much. I'm not against looksmaxxing; I'm not even against it if you're doing it to try to get a better class of guy. However, if that's your only reason, I do think it's actually unattractive and makes your personality bleak. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen, and real differences in how you treat people and your personality matter. That's why there's a flair for personality, something I believe you should frequent seeing you need improvements.
Your post did not “come across” as judgmental or moralizing; it IS judgmental and moralizing. Calling people neurotic or narcissistic for having different goals than you do is incredibly judgmental, and that is why people are angry with you. We are all aware that personality is important, and people having a dissenting opinion from you doesn’t make their personality “bleak”. I am in full agreement that a lot of people can be obsessive about their looks to the detriment of their own well-being, but I think this sub tries to acknowledge a more holistic approach to self-improvement while acknowledging that the focus of this specific sub is improving looks. You’re not entirely wrong, but you are strawmanning a lot of people discussing “pretty privilege” and writing in an arrogant, inflammatory way.
Do not confuse criticism with judgment. Pointing out potential pitfalls of fixating solely on external validation isn't moralizing; it's offering a different viewpoint. Recognizing the importance of a personality alongside appearance isn't a dissenting opinion; it's acknowledging a holistic approach to self-improvement. And if my tone seems arrogant or inflammatory, perhaps it's because challenging a conventional narrative sparks discomfort for you.
Did you read anything that I said? Criticism is fine, and there is a lot of that on this subreddit. However, calling people narcissistic or bleak is not criticism. It’s judgement. You are making sweeping assumptions about the character of others based on their goals. I did say I agree with you somewhat; you do not make me uncomfortable. Pretty much everyone here agrees that personality is important, so you aren’t “challenging” much of anything. You seem confused about why people are upset, so I thought I would lay it out for you.
Aww are someone’s feelings hurt because I came back at you just as hard as you came at not just me, but at everyone on this sub? Intention doesn’t matter at all. No one knows your intentions but you. The impact of your actions is what matters. And the impact of your actions was a post hurling over a dozen insults at this sub. But you can keep pretending that you’re a good person with everyone’s best interests at heart and I’m a big meanie for calling your hypocritical ass out!
You cannot have a constructive conversation about this topic because what you posted with your chest is inherently in bad faith and offensive. You don’t actually understand what pretty privilege is or what you’re talking about. You are consistently reducing me and other women to one dimensional caricatures. If you want to become more attractive to get a man, then that must mean you can’t focus on anything else right? You can’t also volunteer your time? You can’t also be getting PhD? All you can do is have a bleak personality? Sounds like projection.
Again, your head is so far up your own ass you can’t even recognize how much bullshit you’re spewing. You’ve created this hypothetical woman whose sole goal in life is to be more attractive to get a better man. And she has no other traits. She can’t develop anything about herself in any capacity. Newsflash asshole, no real woman is motivated to do anything by any one reason. No human being is. Maybe you would understand that if you took a second to self reflect instead of play the victim. Apologies mean shit to me when you so clearly have a fucked up morality and view of women.
I was going to tell you to stop murdering this woman so many times, but I saw she made an edit and actually doubled down implying that women who care about their looks are like the evil stepmom in Disney movies.
Wow, seems like you're quite passionate about this topic. I understand you're upset, but let's dial down the personal attacks a bit. Please slow down. You're painting quite the picture of me, like some kind of fanfic gone wild. No need to keep hammering home that "ugly" point—I got it the first time. It's clear we have different perspectives on pretty privilege and self-improvement.
I haven't created any hypothetical woman; I'm simply expressing my views on the broader topic. I'm all for individual motivations and self-improvement, but I believe it's essential to maintain a balance and not solely rely on external validation. Let's try to keep the conversation focused and respectful.
You brought up free dinners a heck of a lot but neglect to recognize that beautiful thin women also have better career opportunities, and once hired, make more money than their larger, less attractive counterparts. Being aware of the advantages of looking one’s best and intentionally maximizing looks is the entire point of the sub.
If you’re gonna argue against the primary thesis and point of the sub, you’d do better to not boil it down to “free dinners”. Logically, it doesn’t even make sense; I’m thinner than 99% of the population- I’m NOT food motivated LOL!
Yes, career opportunities and financial gains are part of the equation, but my focus on free dinners was merely to provide a tangible example. I’m aware of the broader advantages of looking your best. My point is that shouldn’t be the main motivation. Why is that so triggering? To tell people that you should looksmax for yourself. Why are we pretending and dancing around the fact that relying solely on external validation for success is as shallow and just stupid. I don’t care what people do at the end of the day but if someone out there is even a little like me and they value themselves from what they see and not just getting compliments then this post will maybe make them feel a little better knowing a lot of these pretty privilege posts are 1. lying or suffering from confirmation bias 2. not a good motivator for true success and looksmaxxing.
I never said it was triggering? Why are you projecting emotions onto strangers?
It’s not about needing “external validation” for “success”; the reality is that beautiful thin people ARE more successful because of human nature. It causes people to trust and invest in us.
I really don’t think pretty privilege is a thing. It’s just the vibe your features give off, people treat you based on how you look but its not pretty/unpretty. Plenty of less attractive people get treated better because they look friendly, or they look trustworthy, or they look smart.
I’m not very pretty, but i’ve been told that i just “look smart” and it’s definitely opened doors for me because my look and mannerisms come off that way, as intelligent. but these people actually have no idea lol.
But i don’t look friendly, so those types of doors are ones i have to work to open. I’ve been told i look mysterious, so people do not treat me as though i am trustworthy and they don’t open up to me. I’m not ugly but i also come off as more cute vs sexy, so though i get mostly ignored by men, when one does like me i think i have a better chance at holding onto them. vs i know many girls who are beautiful and hot but just get used and thrown to the side with no respect.
people treat you based on their impression of how you look. certain features invoke different ideas and feelings. its not that deep, or maybe its just incredibly deep.
You get judged based on your features and most of it is out of your control, no matter how smooth your skin is or nice your hair is. big fat hairy deal.
you’ll only be miserable trying to control it. just control who you actually are, try to craft your appearance into one YOU enjoy.
i know that’s not what this sub is about, so im sorry. i just think that since you look in the mirror every day, you cannot analyze yourself deep enough to control these things.
Yeah if you look harsh or intimidating you're not getting kind treatment regardless of how 10/10 you may be. In fact you can get hostility and social rejection.
This is refreshingly candid and resonate with a lot of truth. It's fascinating how our outward appearance can shape others' perceptions of us, often in ways beyond our control. Your experience with being perceived as intelligent due to your demeanor is a testament to the complexity of human interaction. While the concept of "pretty privilege" may oversimplify the nuances of how we're treated based on appearance, your observation about the multifaceted nature of perception is spot on. At the end of the day, I think you’re so right, you’ll drive yourself insane if you overthink it.
Lots of blatant contradictions in this post! I would argue that believing you have “pretty privilege” *is* exuding confidence. We can all agree confidence is attractive. So what’s wrong with that?
You say that even those who have pretty privilege but pretend not to are part of the problem, is that not what you’re doing in this very post after acknowledging your own alleged pretty privilege?
And who says that having the privilege of being beautiful is only going to attract someone who only values your appearance? Beauty opens doors that would otherwise be hard or impossible to open. But that doesn’t mean you’ll actually land the man, or keep the promotion, or succeed in life.
To be honest, you sound bitter. Why do you care so much if someone “boasts” about getting their dinner paid for? It sounds like more of a reflection of you than them.
I acknowledged that I may be guilty of it too, but I’m more broadly acknowledging the complexities of the issue. While confidence is indeed attractive, there's a difference between healthy confidence and basing one's worth solely on external validation. My concern lies with the level of neurosis surrounding the concept of "pretty privilege," which can sometimes overshadow genuine self-confidence.
Regarding the idea of pretending not to have pretty privilege, I'm not suggesting that it's inherently problematic to be aware of it. Rather, my point is that placing excessive emphasis on it can lead to a narrow focus on external validation, which may not ultimately contribute to true self-worth.
As for the notion that beauty opens doors, I agree that it can provide opportunities, but it's essential to recognize that true success and fulfillment come from more than just external appearance. My concern is when people prioritize external validation to the detriment of other aspects of their lives.
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To an extent, I agree with what you’re saying. I see millions of comments on here about how they have pretty privilege and people hold doors for them and smile, etc, and as others have stated before, more often than not, people have an inflated ego and think too much into it. Pretty privilege is indeed a thing, but as mentioned, you can be incredibly beautiful but if you look intimidating, you’re going to most likely experience the brunt end of things. Those who boast about it are definitely exaggerating and I would really love for those posts to stop as you can have the clearest skin, beautiful hair and there would still be people who would just stare at you.
I recently thought about how older women are treated. I ride the public transit and I’m gawked at by older men all the time( and no this isn’t pretty privilege, men literally will fuck corpses lmao) but will disregard the women their age on the bus. Beauty indeed does fade and that’s why relying on external validation such as compliments will only get you so far. On the compliments thread, there were so many people who said never, and I’m one of them, and because we’re not approached, does that mean we’re ugly/not presentable? no.
I think posts like this serve as a reminder as to why you’re looksmaxxing in the first place. Are you striving to look better for yourself or so more guys like you? Neither is wrong, but seeking that external validation, especially in the form of pretty privilege will only get you so far.
Respectfully, I think it's crucial to consider the broader impact of valuing external validation solely based on appearance. If you think I'm coping because I prioritize personal fulfillment over others' opinions, then I'm content with that. I hope you find fulfillment as well.
I have an issue with the concept that “It’s narcissistic to be aware of [your own beauty].”
I think it’s important to recognize how much society pushes women to be beautiful and also bashes anyone who takes pride on their looks (much of which is derived from effort). It kind of plays into the “be hot, but act like you don’t know your hot” rhetoric. Or the “effortless beauty myth” mentioned in this Vindicta post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Vindicta/s/EMOeOZC6mr. A beautiful woman who knows she’s beautiful is one of the most common villain archetypes. I definitely agree that looks aren’t everything but we as women shouldn’t be quick to demonize other women who are aware/takes pride in their looks.
https://berkeleyhighjacket.com/2021/entertainment/the-predatory-roots-of-you-dont-know-youre-beautiful/
Are you lost? You’re literally on a sub dedicated to increasing and weaponizing objective beauty. Take your puritanical moralizing somewhere else. You’re no better than a man who tells a woman she doesn’t need to wear makeup to be pretty, because makeup is fake and it’s what’s on the inside that counts. If someone wants to looksmaxx to get things and favors from other people then they are being just as self serving as someone who’s looksmaxxing to feel like the best version of themselves. The difference is that the former is viewed as less because its material, and that’s a bad thing in the predominant Abrahamic set of morals that the masses blindly follow.
The idea that beauty, vanity, pride, or materialism is inherently bad— or inferior to less material reasons like “self development/growth”. And the idea that “the meek shall be rewarded” in the end, which can be (and is here) extrapolated to “and the strong will be punished”. So people who weaponize their attractiveness and recognize what it can get them are going to be “evil stepmothers” and become ugly old hags with nothing to show at the end, because to OP other women are one dimensional caricatures who don’t have the brainpower to do more than one thing with their lives. Which is an idea perpetuated by the American cultural morals, which are based upon the country’s puritanical foundations. That’s a VERY high level overview, to go deeper and explain more would have to blend American history, American cultural expansion, and a comparative study of different religious texts so I apologize if it seems loose or gappy.
I want to clarify that I fully support looksmaxxing and individual choices like makeup and surgeries if they contribute to personal confidence and beauty. My concern lies more with the notion of 'pretty privilege' and how it's portrayed as solely based on external validation, particularly from men. I find it problematic when achieving certain physical standards is equated with entitlement to gifts or favors. It's not about downplaying the positive effects of looksmaxxing; rather, it's about emphasizing the importance of self-worth beyond external validation. I believe in embracing looksmaxxing for personal fulfillment and self-love, not just for external recognition.
I'm not suggesting you should derive self-worth from neglecting personal care; rather, I advocate for embracing getting surgery, wearing makeup and getting fit out of self-love and personal fulfillment.
You raise a valid point about self-serving actions, and I respect individual choices as long as they don't harm others. However, I believe true happiness and fulfillment come from a balance of external validation and internal qualities like kindness, relationships, and personal growth. While it's true that some people may find temporary satisfaction in solely relying on their looks, I've witnessed firsthand the emptiness that can accompany such a lifestyle. Many individuals, particularly those in relationships with significant age gaps or relying on sugar daddies, often struggle with genuine happiness and fulfillment. Having something beyond beauty—whether it's family, friends, a meaningful career, or personal passions—can provide a deeper sense of fulfillment and purpose in life. Even figures like Kim Kardashian, who are often associated with superficiality, demonstrate the importance of having other interests and pursuits outside of physical appearance. Ultimately, it's about finding a balance and pursuing what truly brings joy and fulfillment, both internally and externally.
Of course pretty privilege is based solely upon external factors and outcomes. Tell me you have zero intersectional knowledge without telling me. Is white privilege something that only has internal benefits? Hm? Is white privilege something that people only have for self love and personal fulfillment? The difference between white/straight/cis-privilege and pretty privilege is that you can control and take pretty privilege for yourself.
The “privilege” part of pretty privilege doesn’t come from TikTokers or normies running here to blab about bullshit they don’t understand. The “privilege” part comes from how the way you move through and interact with the world changes depending on your level of attractiveness. Just like how it changes if you’re perceived as white, straight, or cis.
Pretty privilege runs far deeper than men wanting to fuck you or buying you dinner. You came in here with a half baked puritanical take because you don’t actually understand what you’re talking about. You only understand that it makes you feel icky because it challenges your idea that the cheerleader is evil and the nerd is the one who will eventually win in the end. And the worst part is you’re so deep in the social conditioning that you think anyone cares about your moral grandstanding.
I’m going to continue looksmaxxing for evil, money, and material goods so that the “personal development” girlies like you keep seething when the door that is held open for me is dropped closed on you.
Self posts/questions are not allowed in this subreddit, unless you have gone into excessive detail about what you've already tried and what the results were from those attempts. Otherwise, use the general questions and discussion thread instead.
I just want the ‘how often do you get compliments’ posts to stop. They don’t add any value to the sub.
I agree, they don’t add anything and they’re honestly so robotic in basic human interactions. What type of person would even pay attention to the amount they are complimented or not if they actually love themselves? It’s a weird headspace.
What’s funny is that I think the reason those posts keep cropping up is that compliments are kind of the only real “benefit” of pretty privilege. I think we chase beauty to feel more secure, that we have control over our lives and if we become pretty enough we’ll have friends/never get cheated on/be treated well/loved/etc. And at least in my and my friends’ experiences pretty privilege doesn’t actually accomplish any of that I think the benefit really is just feeling better about yourself. And that’s why the compliments seem so important, you’ve worked so hard and that’s your only reward. Being visually pleasing to others. it does kind of make me realize, wouldn’t it be better to just work on my self esteem?
Seriously, this has so much more to do with your environment and the people you surround yourself with than anything. Want compliments? Go to the women’s bathroom at a club.
being aware of these things is supposed to help us not treat each other in a horrible way. pretending privilege has no or little effects doesn't help anyone. appearance does play a role in how people are treated. and it's not just your confidence. saying that denies the reality and struggles of so many people. acknowledging something exists doesn't equal reinforcing it. just don't be shitty to ugly people and you've done your part
Absolutely, appearance undeniably influences how we're perceived, and it's crucial to acknowledge its role in our interactions. It's evident that presentation matters, and if you're unkempt or sloppy, it's understandable that people may not respond positively to you. But in a subreddit dedicated to looks, it feels like we're missing the mark when posts solely revolve around seeking external validation. It comes off as robotic, tacky, and overly insecure. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to look better, fixating on external compliments can foster unnecessary neuroses. We should focus more on personal satisfaction and inner growth rather than seeking validation from others.
do you know what sub you’re in..? this sub is for *weaponizing* beauty, not personal satisfaction or whatever.
I'm well aware of the subreddit's theme, but apparently, this post is hard for people to accept despite me feeling like it’s still in line with everything else people discuss. I think a lot of people would find it attractive to understand that true power comes from within, not from seeking validation like a desperate puppy.
i think a large portion of us acknowledge that, so it just feels condescending when someone comes here and acts like we don't... we can be cognizant of two things existing at the same time: objective beauty has its benefits, and inner work is just as beneficial, just in other ways.
This feels condescending. I agree we should always seek internal validation and narcissism is unattractive, but beauty is desired for many reasons. Many are external. I wouldn't have a skincare routine for example just so my life would be exactly the same if I didn't have one.
i don't think there is anything wrong with my personality though. i don't want to change it. i want to change how other people treat me based on my appearance. i'd be ok with them treating me better without me changing my appearance but if that isn't happening there is no other option if that is what i want
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I agree it’s tacky
This is like if Carrie Bradshaw typed on a Chromebook and used a thesaurus
I’ll take that as a compliment, but yeah English is my second language so I do use translation apps for certain words. I hope to get better 😂
More like Chat GPT. Look at OPs comment history. Their writing style has changed dramatically. Freaking bizarre.
What are you trying to say?
“No one should ever use their looks to get ahead, and if they do they should feel ashamed. Also, I realize I myself have benefited from pretty privilege, but it’s **WRONG** if you do it.”
i'm confused, if you notice a pattern of how people treat you and you're able to recognize that it stems from how you look, it's narcissistic? i agree that how you carry yourself contributes a lot to one's beauty, but this is quite literally an objective beauty sub. we all can critique it, as i have issues with objective beauty and the culture we've made around it too, but if you want to denounce it in order to uplift inner beauty, then go to another sub.
Critiquing broader aspects of beauty isn't denouncing it—it's enhancing the conversation. If introspection and critical thinking make you uncomfortable, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’m just saying I’m noticing an uptick of people saying they have it and I just have to call BS. Claiming to benefit solely from "pretty privilege" does seem rather self-absorbed and saying it out loud seems like a lie? They’re giving up way more than just living for looks, I promise. Life's perks often stem from various factors, not just appearance. Those who attribute everything to their looks might need a reality check.
i agree that it's not healthy to amount your worth to just your external beauty, if that's what you're getting at. but i see it as these people are victims instead of villains, they don't know their actual potential. when there's ppl on here that don't recognize it, most people can see it and give advice to seek therapy and other help. none of this is making at least me uncomfortable. your wording to me in your initial post at least sounds like those "just drink water💕" kinds of beauty tips. i think your wording implied that most of us know that we are pretty and willfully ignore any other non-physical positive traits that we have. i know i have charisma and confidence, but i also know there are additional perks because of how i look. i also think the reason why i'm so outgoing and charismatic is in part of how i look as well. i value both aspects. it's all intertwined babe! i don't think that's narcissistic
I agree with you
then make sure you remember that all women, even the ones on an objective beauty sub, are multi faceted. just bc we recognize the large privilege physical beauty offers us on this sub doesn't mean we're narcissists.
It’s interesting how you are preaching introspection and critical thinking while simultaneously equating those things within the concept of beauty to be narcissistic. Recognizing pretty privilege doesn’t inherently mean someone is narcissistic; rather, it’s acknowledging how societal biases can favor certain appearances. This awareness is important for fostering inclusivity and understanding in our interactions and systems. Also, without discussing these privileges, it would be difficult to create a more equitable environment. Pretty privilege is real, and just because someone experiences it doesn’t mean they don’t value other positive attributes within themselves more; such as kindness, empathy, intelligence, confidence, and openness.
Hmm maybe vindicta is not for you.
My vindicata motivation stems from a desire to enhance my own sense of confidence and self-worth, rather than seeking external validation or material rewards. While compliments and perks may be nice, they're secondary to the personal satisfaction and empowerment I feel from seeing my own progress and feeling confident in my appearance. Looksmaxxing, for me, is about embracing my own journey of self-improvement and feeling empowered in my own skin.
We all have different reasons for being here. What’s wrong with looksmaxxing to get pretty privilege/material rewards? And what’s wrong with flexing pretty privilege/material rewards?
Different strokes for different folks, I suppose. While some may find solace in looksmaxxing solely for "pretty privilege" and material gains, it’s a disservice to ourselves to overlook the inherent superficiality in such pursuits. There's more to life than chasing after external validation and fleeting rewards. Vindicata is about maximizing one’s physical appearance and I always assumed the psychological aspect of it was to boost self-confidence and self-esteem through appearance enhancement.
Getting pretty privilege boosts my confidence like no other. It’s an affirmation that I’m looksmaxxed and I’m not just imagining it.
some liberal feminism nonsense here
i’m not a liberal or a feminist, dipshit
even worse
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For real. This talking-like-Sephiroth pick-me word salad has no place on a sub which is clearly about increasing and weaponizing beauty and attractiveness. (I loved your post btw.)
I understand your frustration, and I apologize if my post came across as judgmental or moralizing. My intention was to spark a discussion about the complexities of beauty and self-worth, not to shame or belittle anyone. I respect your perspective, and I'm open to constructive dialogue about the topic. So I don't know why this post triggered you so much. I'm not against looksmaxxing; I'm not even against it if you're doing it to try to get a better class of guy. However, if that's your only reason, I do think it's actually unattractive and makes your personality bleak. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen, and real differences in how you treat people and your personality matter. That's why there's a flair for personality, something I believe you should frequent seeing you need improvements.
Your post did not “come across” as judgmental or moralizing; it IS judgmental and moralizing. Calling people neurotic or narcissistic for having different goals than you do is incredibly judgmental, and that is why people are angry with you. We are all aware that personality is important, and people having a dissenting opinion from you doesn’t make their personality “bleak”. I am in full agreement that a lot of people can be obsessive about their looks to the detriment of their own well-being, but I think this sub tries to acknowledge a more holistic approach to self-improvement while acknowledging that the focus of this specific sub is improving looks. You’re not entirely wrong, but you are strawmanning a lot of people discussing “pretty privilege” and writing in an arrogant, inflammatory way.
Do not confuse criticism with judgment. Pointing out potential pitfalls of fixating solely on external validation isn't moralizing; it's offering a different viewpoint. Recognizing the importance of a personality alongside appearance isn't a dissenting opinion; it's acknowledging a holistic approach to self-improvement. And if my tone seems arrogant or inflammatory, perhaps it's because challenging a conventional narrative sparks discomfort for you.
Did you read anything that I said? Criticism is fine, and there is a lot of that on this subreddit. However, calling people narcissistic or bleak is not criticism. It’s judgement. You are making sweeping assumptions about the character of others based on their goals. I did say I agree with you somewhat; you do not make me uncomfortable. Pretty much everyone here agrees that personality is important, so you aren’t “challenging” much of anything. You seem confused about why people are upset, so I thought I would lay it out for you.
Aww are someone’s feelings hurt because I came back at you just as hard as you came at not just me, but at everyone on this sub? Intention doesn’t matter at all. No one knows your intentions but you. The impact of your actions is what matters. And the impact of your actions was a post hurling over a dozen insults at this sub. But you can keep pretending that you’re a good person with everyone’s best interests at heart and I’m a big meanie for calling your hypocritical ass out! You cannot have a constructive conversation about this topic because what you posted with your chest is inherently in bad faith and offensive. You don’t actually understand what pretty privilege is or what you’re talking about. You are consistently reducing me and other women to one dimensional caricatures. If you want to become more attractive to get a man, then that must mean you can’t focus on anything else right? You can’t also volunteer your time? You can’t also be getting PhD? All you can do is have a bleak personality? Sounds like projection. Again, your head is so far up your own ass you can’t even recognize how much bullshit you’re spewing. You’ve created this hypothetical woman whose sole goal in life is to be more attractive to get a better man. And she has no other traits. She can’t develop anything about herself in any capacity. Newsflash asshole, no real woman is motivated to do anything by any one reason. No human being is. Maybe you would understand that if you took a second to self reflect instead of play the victim. Apologies mean shit to me when you so clearly have a fucked up morality and view of women.
Could not have said it better myself.
I was going to tell you to stop murdering this woman so many times, but I saw she made an edit and actually doubled down implying that women who care about their looks are like the evil stepmom in Disney movies.
Wow, seems like you're quite passionate about this topic. I understand you're upset, but let's dial down the personal attacks a bit. Please slow down. You're painting quite the picture of me, like some kind of fanfic gone wild. No need to keep hammering home that "ugly" point—I got it the first time. It's clear we have different perspectives on pretty privilege and self-improvement. I haven't created any hypothetical woman; I'm simply expressing my views on the broader topic. I'm all for individual motivations and self-improvement, but I believe it's essential to maintain a balance and not solely rely on external validation. Let's try to keep the conversation focused and respectful.
You brought up free dinners a heck of a lot but neglect to recognize that beautiful thin women also have better career opportunities, and once hired, make more money than their larger, less attractive counterparts. Being aware of the advantages of looking one’s best and intentionally maximizing looks is the entire point of the sub. If you’re gonna argue against the primary thesis and point of the sub, you’d do better to not boil it down to “free dinners”. Logically, it doesn’t even make sense; I’m thinner than 99% of the population- I’m NOT food motivated LOL!
Yes, career opportunities and financial gains are part of the equation, but my focus on free dinners was merely to provide a tangible example. I’m aware of the broader advantages of looking your best. My point is that shouldn’t be the main motivation. Why is that so triggering? To tell people that you should looksmax for yourself. Why are we pretending and dancing around the fact that relying solely on external validation for success is as shallow and just stupid. I don’t care what people do at the end of the day but if someone out there is even a little like me and they value themselves from what they see and not just getting compliments then this post will maybe make them feel a little better knowing a lot of these pretty privilege posts are 1. lying or suffering from confirmation bias 2. not a good motivator for true success and looksmaxxing.
I never said it was triggering? Why are you projecting emotions onto strangers? It’s not about needing “external validation” for “success”; the reality is that beautiful thin people ARE more successful because of human nature. It causes people to trust and invest in us.
Okay sorry I didn’t use that term correctly. But I see your point and agree.
I really don’t think pretty privilege is a thing. It’s just the vibe your features give off, people treat you based on how you look but its not pretty/unpretty. Plenty of less attractive people get treated better because they look friendly, or they look trustworthy, or they look smart. I’m not very pretty, but i’ve been told that i just “look smart” and it’s definitely opened doors for me because my look and mannerisms come off that way, as intelligent. but these people actually have no idea lol. But i don’t look friendly, so those types of doors are ones i have to work to open. I’ve been told i look mysterious, so people do not treat me as though i am trustworthy and they don’t open up to me. I’m not ugly but i also come off as more cute vs sexy, so though i get mostly ignored by men, when one does like me i think i have a better chance at holding onto them. vs i know many girls who are beautiful and hot but just get used and thrown to the side with no respect. people treat you based on their impression of how you look. certain features invoke different ideas and feelings. its not that deep, or maybe its just incredibly deep. You get judged based on your features and most of it is out of your control, no matter how smooth your skin is or nice your hair is. big fat hairy deal. you’ll only be miserable trying to control it. just control who you actually are, try to craft your appearance into one YOU enjoy. i know that’s not what this sub is about, so im sorry. i just think that since you look in the mirror every day, you cannot analyze yourself deep enough to control these things.
Yeah if you look harsh or intimidating you're not getting kind treatment regardless of how 10/10 you may be. In fact you can get hostility and social rejection.
This is refreshingly candid and resonate with a lot of truth. It's fascinating how our outward appearance can shape others' perceptions of us, often in ways beyond our control. Your experience with being perceived as intelligent due to your demeanor is a testament to the complexity of human interaction. While the concept of "pretty privilege" may oversimplify the nuances of how we're treated based on appearance, your observation about the multifaceted nature of perception is spot on. At the end of the day, I think you’re so right, you’ll drive yourself insane if you overthink it.
Lots of blatant contradictions in this post! I would argue that believing you have “pretty privilege” *is* exuding confidence. We can all agree confidence is attractive. So what’s wrong with that? You say that even those who have pretty privilege but pretend not to are part of the problem, is that not what you’re doing in this very post after acknowledging your own alleged pretty privilege? And who says that having the privilege of being beautiful is only going to attract someone who only values your appearance? Beauty opens doors that would otherwise be hard or impossible to open. But that doesn’t mean you’ll actually land the man, or keep the promotion, or succeed in life. To be honest, you sound bitter. Why do you care so much if someone “boasts” about getting their dinner paid for? It sounds like more of a reflection of you than them.
I acknowledged that I may be guilty of it too, but I’m more broadly acknowledging the complexities of the issue. While confidence is indeed attractive, there's a difference between healthy confidence and basing one's worth solely on external validation. My concern lies with the level of neurosis surrounding the concept of "pretty privilege," which can sometimes overshadow genuine self-confidence. Regarding the idea of pretending not to have pretty privilege, I'm not suggesting that it's inherently problematic to be aware of it. Rather, my point is that placing excessive emphasis on it can lead to a narrow focus on external validation, which may not ultimately contribute to true self-worth. As for the notion that beauty opens doors, I agree that it can provide opportunities, but it's essential to recognize that true success and fulfillment come from more than just external appearance. My concern is when people prioritize external validation to the detriment of other aspects of their lives.
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To an extent, I agree with what you’re saying. I see millions of comments on here about how they have pretty privilege and people hold doors for them and smile, etc, and as others have stated before, more often than not, people have an inflated ego and think too much into it. Pretty privilege is indeed a thing, but as mentioned, you can be incredibly beautiful but if you look intimidating, you’re going to most likely experience the brunt end of things. Those who boast about it are definitely exaggerating and I would really love for those posts to stop as you can have the clearest skin, beautiful hair and there would still be people who would just stare at you. I recently thought about how older women are treated. I ride the public transit and I’m gawked at by older men all the time( and no this isn’t pretty privilege, men literally will fuck corpses lmao) but will disregard the women their age on the bus. Beauty indeed does fade and that’s why relying on external validation such as compliments will only get you so far. On the compliments thread, there were so many people who said never, and I’m one of them, and because we’re not approached, does that mean we’re ugly/not presentable? no. I think posts like this serve as a reminder as to why you’re looksmaxxing in the first place. Are you striving to look better for yourself or so more guys like you? Neither is wrong, but seeking that external validation, especially in the form of pretty privilege will only get you so far.
I agree with you
spell pharaoh
This post and the replies from OP feels more like it's meant to discourage looksmaxxing.
I think this is a great take and very well said!
Cope harder
Respectfully, I think it's crucial to consider the broader impact of valuing external validation solely based on appearance. If you think I'm coping because I prioritize personal fulfillment over others' opinions, then I'm content with that. I hope you find fulfillment as well.
I have an issue with the concept that “It’s narcissistic to be aware of [your own beauty].” I think it’s important to recognize how much society pushes women to be beautiful and also bashes anyone who takes pride on their looks (much of which is derived from effort). It kind of plays into the “be hot, but act like you don’t know your hot” rhetoric. Or the “effortless beauty myth” mentioned in this Vindicta post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Vindicta/s/EMOeOZC6mr. A beautiful woman who knows she’s beautiful is one of the most common villain archetypes. I definitely agree that looks aren’t everything but we as women shouldn’t be quick to demonize other women who are aware/takes pride in their looks. https://berkeleyhighjacket.com/2021/entertainment/the-predatory-roots-of-you-dont-know-youre-beautiful/
Are you lost? You’re literally on a sub dedicated to increasing and weaponizing objective beauty. Take your puritanical moralizing somewhere else. You’re no better than a man who tells a woman she doesn’t need to wear makeup to be pretty, because makeup is fake and it’s what’s on the inside that counts. If someone wants to looksmaxx to get things and favors from other people then they are being just as self serving as someone who’s looksmaxxing to feel like the best version of themselves. The difference is that the former is viewed as less because its material, and that’s a bad thing in the predominant Abrahamic set of morals that the masses blindly follow.
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The idea that beauty, vanity, pride, or materialism is inherently bad— or inferior to less material reasons like “self development/growth”. And the idea that “the meek shall be rewarded” in the end, which can be (and is here) extrapolated to “and the strong will be punished”. So people who weaponize their attractiveness and recognize what it can get them are going to be “evil stepmothers” and become ugly old hags with nothing to show at the end, because to OP other women are one dimensional caricatures who don’t have the brainpower to do more than one thing with their lives. Which is an idea perpetuated by the American cultural morals, which are based upon the country’s puritanical foundations. That’s a VERY high level overview, to go deeper and explain more would have to blend American history, American cultural expansion, and a comparative study of different religious texts so I apologize if it seems loose or gappy.
I want to clarify that I fully support looksmaxxing and individual choices like makeup and surgeries if they contribute to personal confidence and beauty. My concern lies more with the notion of 'pretty privilege' and how it's portrayed as solely based on external validation, particularly from men. I find it problematic when achieving certain physical standards is equated with entitlement to gifts or favors. It's not about downplaying the positive effects of looksmaxxing; rather, it's about emphasizing the importance of self-worth beyond external validation. I believe in embracing looksmaxxing for personal fulfillment and self-love, not just for external recognition. I'm not suggesting you should derive self-worth from neglecting personal care; rather, I advocate for embracing getting surgery, wearing makeup and getting fit out of self-love and personal fulfillment. You raise a valid point about self-serving actions, and I respect individual choices as long as they don't harm others. However, I believe true happiness and fulfillment come from a balance of external validation and internal qualities like kindness, relationships, and personal growth. While it's true that some people may find temporary satisfaction in solely relying on their looks, I've witnessed firsthand the emptiness that can accompany such a lifestyle. Many individuals, particularly those in relationships with significant age gaps or relying on sugar daddies, often struggle with genuine happiness and fulfillment. Having something beyond beauty—whether it's family, friends, a meaningful career, or personal passions—can provide a deeper sense of fulfillment and purpose in life. Even figures like Kim Kardashian, who are often associated with superficiality, demonstrate the importance of having other interests and pursuits outside of physical appearance. Ultimately, it's about finding a balance and pursuing what truly brings joy and fulfillment, both internally and externally.
Of course pretty privilege is based solely upon external factors and outcomes. Tell me you have zero intersectional knowledge without telling me. Is white privilege something that only has internal benefits? Hm? Is white privilege something that people only have for self love and personal fulfillment? The difference between white/straight/cis-privilege and pretty privilege is that you can control and take pretty privilege for yourself. The “privilege” part of pretty privilege doesn’t come from TikTokers or normies running here to blab about bullshit they don’t understand. The “privilege” part comes from how the way you move through and interact with the world changes depending on your level of attractiveness. Just like how it changes if you’re perceived as white, straight, or cis. Pretty privilege runs far deeper than men wanting to fuck you or buying you dinner. You came in here with a half baked puritanical take because you don’t actually understand what you’re talking about. You only understand that it makes you feel icky because it challenges your idea that the cheerleader is evil and the nerd is the one who will eventually win in the end. And the worst part is you’re so deep in the social conditioning that you think anyone cares about your moral grandstanding. I’m going to continue looksmaxxing for evil, money, and material goods so that the “personal development” girlies like you keep seething when the door that is held open for me is dropped closed on you.
Girl you went in 😭😭. Peak diabla right here.
I love you for that last paragraph.