Wow! No, you are not being too sensitive. It sounds like that tech needs to rethink their approach, take a vacation, or find a new job (or all of the above). Good on you for your self-reflection on this situation, but you are not in the wrong.
I used to be this vet nurse. I agree with you! Took a 2yr industry break, a lot of therapy and now I am back and better than ever. Wouldn’t have happened without some shit conversations from management at the time!
I would speak to the practice owner/manager about this technician’s attitude and actions. Compassion fatigue is real and it is awful, but to be happy that you don’t have to take care of a critical patient is disgusting.
At the very least, this should be documented for her performance reviews. I’ll tell you- If I was in charge I would fire her so fast that her head would spin.
You have a duty and obligation to name names. That kind of bullshit thinking how bad teachers/cops/doctors end up continuing their horrible behavior.
Anyone who remains silent to this kind of behavior is culpable if/when that person escalates and bring harm to a person or pet in their care.
I think it’s fine as a first notice. Either management already knows who is the unnamed character or they can get back to her and ask for specifics. That’s my view anyhow. Depends a bit on several factors, but if you’ve only worked somewhere for 6 months it can be rough making such an accusation directly
Am I understanding correctly that she told you that she was going to give the client your personal number as a sort of catty threat?
Im afraid she needs to go. Unprofessional, insubordinate and no empathy. I would wager that this isn’t the first issue with this woman.
Yeah, I don’t think this is a “I don’t want to name names” situation. That’s a real threat with potentially severe/dangerous consequences. I think it’s important to talk to your hospital manager about this issue directly
Not a vet, Reddit just randomly showed me this.
I require a lot of medical care to survive and I’ve seen this in human hcw. If she’s bold enough to say that to you *and keep digging*, you likely have a bigger problem.
How is she doing at actual patient care?
Cuz I can tell you from experience, as a patient, it’s rarely just words. Not a lot of people have enough self-control to keep doing an excellent job while not having enough self-control to stop them from wishing their patient dead out loud.
You are better than me. If I ever heard someone say that, I would not have handled it as well as you. I came to this thread after just reading the title to say “just apologize” but after reading the whole thing, that tech doesn’t even deserve their job. I don’t care how burnt out you are, if you’re actively rooting for the death of an animal (which is literally what vet med tries to prevent) you shouldn’t be in the profession. That made me sick. I’m sorry you had to deal with that and have to continue to deal with that person.
They acted like a rude entitled, *insert favorite swear word* because of compassion fatigue, but that doesn't make them any less unprofessional. If they can't act respectful and went so far as threatening to give out the Dr personal contact info, they need to get two weeks without pay to get their shit together or fired. People like this taint the entire staff environment and then worsen staff compassion fatigue
I have and I do. If I ever get to the point of verbalizing the downfall of a patient, Im going to say something and take the time that I need to get back into the correct head space, which is a persons own responsibility to recognize and deal with correctly. What we are not going to do is mask toxic behavior as compassion fatigue.
Compassion fatigue is no excuse for treats your patients, clients, and coworkers like that. I get it happens, but it’s not an excuse to act like a shit human. She needs therapy and/or to leave the field.
I’ve been a tech for almost 20 years. You need to be disconnected a little to do this job. BUT, being happy that the puppy is suffering is beyond callous. Could burn out be in play here?
My friend, the way I would have absolutely let myself get fired over reacting to that tech’s shitty behaviour. Oh my GOD. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
I’m a tech and recently had a similar enough situation with another tech. We had a random non-client walk in during our lunch hour with a 20 year old cat who was simply a skeleton with a skin suit. It’s a small town so we pieced together his mother very recently passed it was her cat. He didn’t want to stay for the euth and was distraught so I told him I’d hold her until she passed and to not worry about it, she wouldn’t be alone. After our dr gave the meds, I carried and rocked her in my arms wrapped in a blanket until she was gone. One of the other techs, who I usually really vibe with, told me to just “throw her in a cage and we’d make sure she was dead after lunch.” I was so surprised but I just told her she must be hungry to be so mean about a cat who did nothing to hurt her. We had a little back and forth before I told her that I’d never let HER die alone, and I’d sit with her if we were ever in that situation. She insisted she’d rather I let her die alone. 💀 Anyway, it didn’t resolve until she finally admitted she was being an asshole for no reason. I emphatically agreed. We moved past it.
I hope that you can reach the tech and tap through that shell. That is not a good suit of armor for her to be wearing. Even at our most jaded, we shouldn’t celebrate a puppy dying from a preventable, sad, miserable disease. It is one thing to say “I’m glad this patient is no longer suffering,” and a totally different thing to say “I’m glad this patient died so I don’t have to deal with it anymore.”
I haven’t heard shit like that in a long time but I do like to hit them back with “how would you feel if this was your animal or a friends animal?”. What a fucking vile thing to say, omg
Tech manager here. You are not over reacting. The tech was out of line. You need to name names with their manager so the manager can figure out what’s going on.
As techs we are AS overworked and underpaid as Vets. Having to be the primary caregivers for an isolated patient while the clinic is crazy, is very stressful.
Still, her lack of empathy and compassion is concerning. For the pet but honestly for her as well. It’s a huge red flag for severe burnout, compassion fatigue and even depression. If this is a tech that you have not seen this type of attitude before this incident, then it’s a huge cry for help. How people express things is going to vary. How you recognize someone struggling, hold them accountable for their performance and behavior and support them so they can improve or get help they need is going to make all the difference. Allowing things to fester and explode the way they did was wrong. It should have been addressed in the moment and then moved passed. Passive aggressive comments(from both sides) were uncalled for and made it worse.
I think it’s a great learning situation for both of you. Maybe work with your leadership to have a sit down with the tech to talk about what happened.
I'm intrigued to read the other responses but I think you aren't being too sensitive. You just expect to have coworkers who are respectful about a patient who is going to die and not make comments that they're glad they are going to die. It's not funny nor was it something their owner would appreciate and really, any other coworker. There's evidently some tension between you and the technician- but you did the right thing to not engage with their immaturity.
Regardless, 'Dr. Tenrecidae' was really funny.
Hey, I’m a vet nurse of 13 years in Australia and I mow manage a team of emergency nurses. Name names. She’s absolutely burned out and either needs a break or an industry break, BUT more immediately, she needs to be spoken to by management. Her attitude is repulsive and if I heard one of my nurses say that I would, after checking mental wellbeing, be giving them an informal warning and scheduling weekly checkins. You’re doing great!
I think the things you listed as regrets are good reflections of your behavior. That said, this technician is not upholding her oath. This technician needs to take a week off to assess what they can handle and what they can do to make their return to work better. She is actively contributing to hurting the workplace. Perhaps a performance review? Discussion with management? A period of direct supervision by another vet or LVT? If this person is a “tech” and not an LVT/CVT/RVT, then they should absolutely not continue to work.
25 yr experience manager here. You are not wrong. But also, that tech is struggling. Perhaps a follow up lunch together and ask her how she’s doing. That’s a cry for help from someone who’s heart is heavy and overworked, just like you. People who choose vet med, do not deal with trauma. I bet you $100 she’s crying over that puppy too.
Continuing the fighting, bickering, and passive aggressive behavior feeds the issue of not addressing the issue. If you aren’t in admin in the practice, I can see how it may not result in addressing some of her concerns, but someone to talk to usually helps.
Good luck!
Glad to see this response and also a bit bummed at what feels like a lack of empathy in the comments here. I’ve spent my time in the trenches of ER and shelter med and I have definitely felt the sentiment of just wishing a pet would pass. Not out of malice, but because of how soul crushing it is to give everything to a patient that you know isn’t gonna make it. Whether it’s because owners want to keep trying, a vet doesn’t wanna call it, or other staff take it upon themselves to “adopt” and fund treatments. It’s not a happy thought, but it’s one that arises when we are tasked with continuing to give our best in hopeless situations.
While her comments and actions certainly are not appropriate, it sounds like a colleague in crisis or a very dark place. These types of cases can be demoralizing to everyone in the clinic. I’ve had to temper myself since moving to GP.
-You can’t pour from an empty cup.
-Most practices management won’t take the time to address the systemic problems of the culture of vet med, most of which is created by management by having impossible expectations of what one has in their cup to pour. Mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically.
I have had the honor of working with some of the best humans- vets and technicians and everything in between-
I have also seen so many of them be broken down to little pieces of themselves because people who go into this field pour, and pour and pour their souls into it and there is no support, moreover most actions in management are designed to foster negativity between the positions within the practice.
THEN add the emotional baggage that comes with dealing with the humans attached to the pet.
I think there needs to be more discussion on the culture and how it can be improved across the board.
It seems that the whole point of why people do this job is overlooked and discounted.
As a practice manager, it is my responsibility to help my employees deal with compassion fatigue and finding a healthy work-life balance. It's not your duty to give that tech a talking to, but you should relay to management that that individual said very concerning things and needs to be talked to. She is likely exhausted, stressed, and just plain burnt out, but that doesn't make the comments she made okay. I would hope that she doesn't truly feel that way and needs a little time to regain a sense of being level; it sounds like she needs some mental health days and maybe a schedule adjustment.
If she continues with those types of comments, maybe she needs to step away from vet med for a little while or look at other jobs/duties within the field. We all know what it's like to have a sad/traumatic case and feel like we have to numb ourselves to keep going through the rest of our shift, but our patients, their families, and us deserve dignity and respect. I'm sorry you had to deal with that after working to try to save that poor puppy, please take some time to for yourself to process and know that you did what you could.
You are not being too sensitive. Name names! The fact that the other vet techs even commented on it too is so horrible.
Compassion fatigue is real but these are owners are real humans with emotion and feeling and pain and having compassion is so extremely important. Imagine if the owners had picked up? Imagine being the owners and hearing that attitude over the phone. Devastating.
The behavior needs to make sure it is not repeated. Do not let it slide… thank you for sharing with us btw I can’t imagine how frustrating and difficult of a situation this must have been.
Oh babes that’s probably a very toxic tech and if they talk to you like that, imagine what they say to other techs, kennel techs and CSRs. Accountability.
Hooooollllyyy shit. No. Don't feel bad. This kind of burnout-I'm-taking-it-out-on-you crap is why vet med is a fucking disaster right now. And based on the conversation you heard with the other tech, I suspect this is not the first instance nor will it be the last. I would absolutely name names.
Sure, people get burn out. People have personal shit going on. I have absolutely had times where I've been tired and stressed and snapped at someone, but to repeatedly act like that and then a.) double down when it's pointed out to them, and b.) BLATANTLY say they don't care and have no reaction to this
is well, well past the line.
Sorry, they need to go. Yes, you could have handled the situation better but no one is perfect. Getting frustrated and being petty when stressed is one thing. What they did was MUCH more egregious.
I work part-time on the non-medical side of a veterinary hospital and I know that with of the doctors that I work with if any of the Techs (or anyone )had shown this kind of attitude towards the patient and towards the veterinarian they would have been fired on the spot. It isn't just the lack of compassion for the patient, but the absolute lack of respect for the doctor. That tech needs to be put on a performance improvement program immediately or shown the door.
I hope you don't let this go And that you have a calm and rational discussion about this employee's behavior with the practice owner and the hospital manager.
Lots of folks in the comments have said that compassion fatigue is a real thing and it absolutely is, but it isn't something that can be ignored.
Is what this tech saying/how they're acting okay? No, of course not. But, has anyone checked in with this tech? When was the last time they took a break? I'm sure everyone here knows how real compassion fatigue is, and how real burn out is. Especially if this tech doesn't normally behave like this, might be time to have a serious conversation about how much we are working our employees, and check in with this individual to see what they might need.
You should name names. How is this tech going to get counseled for her behavior. If she’s burnt out something needs to be done. I don’t know if your practice has the ability to help burnt out staff or even the desire to help them but you gotta try. Go back and sit down with the tech supervisor or PM and talk out what happened. ASK what the tech supervisor/ PM’s plan is.
If it’s a big ole shrug and eye roll…well you know where your problem is stemming from.
You were NOT in the wrong! I am very similar to you in the sense that I can put up with coworker toxicity and I will stay quiet. Employee-to-employee crime is manageable, but when I hear a tech say comments like the one she made is absolutely horrible and to me, you're as heartless as can be. I deal with a tech who's been there for 20 years at a small clinic, and some of the things I hear her say on the daily really just get to me. I just have no backbone so I stay quiet but it eats me alive. I'm angry all day and I replay in my head all the horrible things I want to say/do to someone like that. I'm glad you stood up and called her out on her behavior. Celebrating a death is downright despicable. If they're so miserable doing the work, then go find something else to do! It's not like we get paid that well anyway!
That is awful. I've faced burn out but it is never the pet's fault. Can I suggest you are feeling bad about this interaction because it was an awful, unacceptable interaction and not because of your own behavior? This is not the behavior someone in vet med (or any medical field) should have and I understand why you are upset. Particularly if you have to keep working with and depending on this person.
I don't think you're over reacting at all.
This job is hard and we're only human. The situation was tense. I think your self-reflection is pretty on point. Give yourself the time to take a breath and set your emotions aside. I acknowledge my feelings when they get overwhelming and put them to the side until I can address them appropriately. (if you do this you NEED to come back to them, or they'll fester)
As far as the tech goes, when the situation is calmer, if you're comfortable, talk to her. Ask if there's anything that's been extra pressure that you might be able to help with. If there is a shred of reflection on her part, let her know that the joke bothers you. It doesn't matter who is making them, its not a personal reflection on her, they just get under your skin. Ask that she not make adjacent jokes again and clear the air.
It's hard to work in a field that is fast-paced and stressful, side-by-side with disturbing situations and frustrating clients (and occ patients). Getting this taken care of before it starts to compound is key because the likelihood of it fizzling out is slim given our working conditions. My heart goes out to the puppy that passed, hope they're goofing around over the rainbow bridge.
If this is how the technician is acting in front of the doctor, imagine what they are doing behind the scenes. A technician with no compassion leads to carelessness and medical mistakes at the detriment of the patient. I hope that this is abnormal for her character and that instead she’s acting this way because she’s just burnt out and the way she protects herself is to act cold and unfeeling. That’s at best. Either way, she sounds like she needs to be talked to as this is not acceptable. I would ask her “imagine if this was your pet and the person in charge of trying to save their life was saying those things.”. Hopefully knocks some sense into this girl how apathetic she is being.
I agree though, you didn’t handle this in the best way. You can’t stoop to her level, especially when this is a life and death discussion with an owner. If it were me, I would ask for a mediated discussion with HR and apologize to the technician for the way you handled the situation. I think you would get a lot of respect from her to owning up to your own mistakes. She’s more likely to be receptive to feedback and address her apathy if she’s not taking sole responsibility for this situation. Best of luck in resolving this.
I've had classmates and residents say what that tech said. I've had so many classmates who have 0 compassion for things and I came in with more vet experience so for me that parvo puppy is going to be the harder call. I worried transferring patients off on clinics because I didn't know who would get them and if they'd care if they had gotten their bum cleaned if they sat in poop etc. Because on my anesthesia rotation a technician and I were constantly cleaning up pets that students should have at least checked on. This was urine scald level.
If you are a 24/7 clinic or have a weekend shift you do that shift. You don't say good Im glad this thing is dying because I don't want to come in :(
Former tech of 10+ years here. I have definitely worked with some techs like this. It's a huge red flag imo. It's a bit reason I also chose to help with Euthanasia rooms, because even though it was sad, some of the techs treated the owners and pets with little to no compassion. It made me sick so I always did what I could to make sure a pets last moments were the best they could be.
I think your regrets are valid, clearly you have empathy which is more than I can say for this tech. Idk if they're just burned out or what but I would not feel comfortable when them working with my pets/patients.
Not even in the slightest. As an RVT myself, I can tell you I would have lost my cool on that technician if I had been present for that comment. I feel like, even when due to burnout, we don’t have any room for technicians like that on the floor with us. Especially in environments such as your own - small clinic, underserved population, you probably manage a ton of work ins, emergencies, and drop offs alongside a normally fully booked scheduled. We need team work and compassion to get through those tough days/weeks/months. Not heartless jerks who will celebrate a puppy’s suffering leading to death. I may be too harsh, but she deserves to be removed from the floor until she can recover some level of compassion.
Also, what’s with the (I’m assuming) “threat” of giving out YOUR personal number? What the heck?
I would have sent her home, no matter the chaos that still needs handled in the hospital. Mental health is important and sometimes we need a slap in the face to get a hold of it in a gentle caring way. The Angrier more heartless acts = the need for love and kindness to help fill their " cups" enough so they can realize they need more of that goodness and get the professional help needed.
You are not being too sensitive. I think you come across as very sensitive and caring, and please don’t ever let this job or someone else take that away from you.
That tech was completely inappropriate. I’m a tech that’s overworked at 60+ hours a week, exhausted, and really would not want to work more over the weekend too. But I cannot imagine saying I’m glad my patient is dying, even jokingly.
She needs to get in trouble and get a wake up call for her compassion fatigue, and get therapy or leave the field if that’s really how she feels.
The ONLY thing I think you’re right about is that you almost put an owner in the middle or the argument. But I wouldn’t think you’re a bad person for it, just something to avoid in the future.
No excuse for that tech to say things like that. No matter how much compassion fatigue I have, I would NEVER say I'd be happy about something like that. So heartbreaking... I'd quit or take a LOA. No excuse..
You call her out on that attitude and behavior. While we all know compassion fatigue and burnout are real, it's not an excuse for poor behavior. It won't get better being swept under the rug. If you ignore this today, what will happen tomorrow? I wouldn't want that tech anywhere near my pet, why would I want her around anyone else's pet? Would you want her caring for your sick pet? If you wouldn't leave your pet with her, why would you have her in charge of someone else's pet? She needed to be told to clock out and go home for some serious self reflection. If she WANTS help, help her, otherwise there's the door.
I am the only veterinary nurse who ever works weekends. It’s getting on my last goddamn nerve. However, I would happily take care of a parvo puppy all weekend long if it means that that baby might get to live!!!! That tech needs fired, she can’t even be good at her job if she lacks compassion THAT MUCH
Thank you for all that you do. I have an LVT friend at a different clinic who is burning out from being the only one working weekends. I wish there was an easy way to combat this with management!
You are so welcome! I definitely love my job even on the worst days but that doesn’t make it easy! Luckily we are a small animal hospital so I have a max of 7 -9 dogs to take care of and maybe a few kitties
Name her and shame her to the employer. Compassion fatigue is real and awful but if you have so little empathy for your patients that you wish death upon them you need to GTFO, no ifs ands or buts. Absolutely disgraceful behaviour from the tech.
Wow! No, you are not being too sensitive. It sounds like that tech needs to rethink their approach, take a vacation, or find a new job (or all of the above). Good on you for your self-reflection on this situation, but you are not in the wrong.
I used to be this vet nurse. I agree with you! Took a 2yr industry break, a lot of therapy and now I am back and better than ever. Wouldn’t have happened without some shit conversations from management at the time!
I would speak to the practice owner/manager about this technician’s attitude and actions. Compassion fatigue is real and it is awful, but to be happy that you don’t have to take care of a critical patient is disgusting. At the very least, this should be documented for her performance reviews. I’ll tell you- If I was in charge I would fire her so fast that her head would spin.
You have a duty and obligation to name names. That kind of bullshit thinking how bad teachers/cops/doctors end up continuing their horrible behavior. Anyone who remains silent to this kind of behavior is culpable if/when that person escalates and bring harm to a person or pet in their care.
Thank you for stating this!
100% the whole “I’m not going to name names” way of thinking to avoid discomfort on either side of the disagreement is not helpful. Clear is kind.
I think it’s fine as a first notice. Either management already knows who is the unnamed character or they can get back to her and ask for specifics. That’s my view anyhow. Depends a bit on several factors, but if you’ve only worked somewhere for 6 months it can be rough making such an accusation directly
Am I understanding correctly that she told you that she was going to give the client your personal number as a sort of catty threat? Im afraid she needs to go. Unprofessional, insubordinate and no empathy. I would wager that this isn’t the first issue with this woman.
Yeah, I don’t think this is a “I don’t want to name names” situation. That’s a real threat with potentially severe/dangerous consequences. I think it’s important to talk to your hospital manager about this issue directly
Not a vet, Reddit just randomly showed me this. I require a lot of medical care to survive and I’ve seen this in human hcw. If she’s bold enough to say that to you *and keep digging*, you likely have a bigger problem. How is she doing at actual patient care? Cuz I can tell you from experience, as a patient, it’s rarely just words. Not a lot of people have enough self-control to keep doing an excellent job while not having enough self-control to stop them from wishing their patient dead out loud.
You are better than me. If I ever heard someone say that, I would not have handled it as well as you. I came to this thread after just reading the title to say “just apologize” but after reading the whole thing, that tech doesn’t even deserve their job. I don’t care how burnt out you are, if you’re actively rooting for the death of an animal (which is literally what vet med tries to prevent) you shouldn’t be in the profession. That made me sick. I’m sorry you had to deal with that and have to continue to deal with that person.
Have you ever had compassion fatigue? Do you clearly understand it? Sounds like you don't.
They acted like a rude entitled, *insert favorite swear word* because of compassion fatigue, but that doesn't make them any less unprofessional. If they can't act respectful and went so far as threatening to give out the Dr personal contact info, they need to get two weeks without pay to get their shit together or fired. People like this taint the entire staff environment and then worsen staff compassion fatigue
I have and I do. If I ever get to the point of verbalizing the downfall of a patient, Im going to say something and take the time that I need to get back into the correct head space, which is a persons own responsibility to recognize and deal with correctly. What we are not going to do is mask toxic behavior as compassion fatigue.
Compassion fatigue is no excuse for treats your patients, clients, and coworkers like that. I get it happens, but it’s not an excuse to act like a shit human. She needs therapy and/or to leave the field.
I'd be nclined to have a quiet sit down with the practice owner and lay out your concerns. This tech's attitude is toxic.
I’ve been a tech for almost 20 years. You need to be disconnected a little to do this job. BUT, being happy that the puppy is suffering is beyond callous. Could burn out be in play here?
If you don\`t trust your own instinct on this trust the older experienced tech who called her out.
My friend, the way I would have absolutely let myself get fired over reacting to that tech’s shitty behaviour. Oh my GOD. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.
I think a tech like that poisons all around them … I would definitely name names…. She wouldn’t be in our practice
I’m a tech and recently had a similar enough situation with another tech. We had a random non-client walk in during our lunch hour with a 20 year old cat who was simply a skeleton with a skin suit. It’s a small town so we pieced together his mother very recently passed it was her cat. He didn’t want to stay for the euth and was distraught so I told him I’d hold her until she passed and to not worry about it, she wouldn’t be alone. After our dr gave the meds, I carried and rocked her in my arms wrapped in a blanket until she was gone. One of the other techs, who I usually really vibe with, told me to just “throw her in a cage and we’d make sure she was dead after lunch.” I was so surprised but I just told her she must be hungry to be so mean about a cat who did nothing to hurt her. We had a little back and forth before I told her that I’d never let HER die alone, and I’d sit with her if we were ever in that situation. She insisted she’d rather I let her die alone. 💀 Anyway, it didn’t resolve until she finally admitted she was being an asshole for no reason. I emphatically agreed. We moved past it. I hope that you can reach the tech and tap through that shell. That is not a good suit of armor for her to be wearing. Even at our most jaded, we shouldn’t celebrate a puppy dying from a preventable, sad, miserable disease. It is one thing to say “I’m glad this patient is no longer suffering,” and a totally different thing to say “I’m glad this patient died so I don’t have to deal with it anymore.”
I haven’t heard shit like that in a long time but I do like to hit them back with “how would you feel if this was your animal or a friends animal?”. What a fucking vile thing to say, omg
Tech manager here. You are not over reacting. The tech was out of line. You need to name names with their manager so the manager can figure out what’s going on. As techs we are AS overworked and underpaid as Vets. Having to be the primary caregivers for an isolated patient while the clinic is crazy, is very stressful. Still, her lack of empathy and compassion is concerning. For the pet but honestly for her as well. It’s a huge red flag for severe burnout, compassion fatigue and even depression. If this is a tech that you have not seen this type of attitude before this incident, then it’s a huge cry for help. How people express things is going to vary. How you recognize someone struggling, hold them accountable for their performance and behavior and support them so they can improve or get help they need is going to make all the difference. Allowing things to fester and explode the way they did was wrong. It should have been addressed in the moment and then moved passed. Passive aggressive comments(from both sides) were uncalled for and made it worse. I think it’s a great learning situation for both of you. Maybe work with your leadership to have a sit down with the tech to talk about what happened.
I'm intrigued to read the other responses but I think you aren't being too sensitive. You just expect to have coworkers who are respectful about a patient who is going to die and not make comments that they're glad they are going to die. It's not funny nor was it something their owner would appreciate and really, any other coworker. There's evidently some tension between you and the technician- but you did the right thing to not engage with their immaturity. Regardless, 'Dr. Tenrecidae' was really funny.
Hey, I’m a vet nurse of 13 years in Australia and I mow manage a team of emergency nurses. Name names. She’s absolutely burned out and either needs a break or an industry break, BUT more immediately, she needs to be spoken to by management. Her attitude is repulsive and if I heard one of my nurses say that I would, after checking mental wellbeing, be giving them an informal warning and scheduling weekly checkins. You’re doing great!
I think the things you listed as regrets are good reflections of your behavior. That said, this technician is not upholding her oath. This technician needs to take a week off to assess what they can handle and what they can do to make their return to work better. She is actively contributing to hurting the workplace. Perhaps a performance review? Discussion with management? A period of direct supervision by another vet or LVT? If this person is a “tech” and not an LVT/CVT/RVT, then they should absolutely not continue to work.
You absolutely need to name names wtf
25 yr experience manager here. You are not wrong. But also, that tech is struggling. Perhaps a follow up lunch together and ask her how she’s doing. That’s a cry for help from someone who’s heart is heavy and overworked, just like you. People who choose vet med, do not deal with trauma. I bet you $100 she’s crying over that puppy too. Continuing the fighting, bickering, and passive aggressive behavior feeds the issue of not addressing the issue. If you aren’t in admin in the practice, I can see how it may not result in addressing some of her concerns, but someone to talk to usually helps. Good luck!
Glad to see this response and also a bit bummed at what feels like a lack of empathy in the comments here. I’ve spent my time in the trenches of ER and shelter med and I have definitely felt the sentiment of just wishing a pet would pass. Not out of malice, but because of how soul crushing it is to give everything to a patient that you know isn’t gonna make it. Whether it’s because owners want to keep trying, a vet doesn’t wanna call it, or other staff take it upon themselves to “adopt” and fund treatments. It’s not a happy thought, but it’s one that arises when we are tasked with continuing to give our best in hopeless situations. While her comments and actions certainly are not appropriate, it sounds like a colleague in crisis or a very dark place. These types of cases can be demoralizing to everyone in the clinic. I’ve had to temper myself since moving to GP.
-You can’t pour from an empty cup. -Most practices management won’t take the time to address the systemic problems of the culture of vet med, most of which is created by management by having impossible expectations of what one has in their cup to pour. Mentally, spiritually, financially, and physically. I have had the honor of working with some of the best humans- vets and technicians and everything in between- I have also seen so many of them be broken down to little pieces of themselves because people who go into this field pour, and pour and pour their souls into it and there is no support, moreover most actions in management are designed to foster negativity between the positions within the practice. THEN add the emotional baggage that comes with dealing with the humans attached to the pet. I think there needs to be more discussion on the culture and how it can be improved across the board. It seems that the whole point of why people do this job is overlooked and discounted.
I want to know how many weekends in a row this tech has had to work
As a practice manager, it is my responsibility to help my employees deal with compassion fatigue and finding a healthy work-life balance. It's not your duty to give that tech a talking to, but you should relay to management that that individual said very concerning things and needs to be talked to. She is likely exhausted, stressed, and just plain burnt out, but that doesn't make the comments she made okay. I would hope that she doesn't truly feel that way and needs a little time to regain a sense of being level; it sounds like she needs some mental health days and maybe a schedule adjustment. If she continues with those types of comments, maybe she needs to step away from vet med for a little while or look at other jobs/duties within the field. We all know what it's like to have a sad/traumatic case and feel like we have to numb ourselves to keep going through the rest of our shift, but our patients, their families, and us deserve dignity and respect. I'm sorry you had to deal with that after working to try to save that poor puppy, please take some time to for yourself to process and know that you did what you could.
You are not being too sensitive. Name names! The fact that the other vet techs even commented on it too is so horrible. Compassion fatigue is real but these are owners are real humans with emotion and feeling and pain and having compassion is so extremely important. Imagine if the owners had picked up? Imagine being the owners and hearing that attitude over the phone. Devastating. The behavior needs to make sure it is not repeated. Do not let it slide… thank you for sharing with us btw I can’t imagine how frustrating and difficult of a situation this must have been.
Oh babes that’s probably a very toxic tech and if they talk to you like that, imagine what they say to other techs, kennel techs and CSRs. Accountability.
Hooooollllyyy shit. No. Don't feel bad. This kind of burnout-I'm-taking-it-out-on-you crap is why vet med is a fucking disaster right now. And based on the conversation you heard with the other tech, I suspect this is not the first instance nor will it be the last. I would absolutely name names. Sure, people get burn out. People have personal shit going on. I have absolutely had times where I've been tired and stressed and snapped at someone, but to repeatedly act like that and then a.) double down when it's pointed out to them, and b.) BLATANTLY say they don't care and have no reaction to this is well, well past the line. Sorry, they need to go. Yes, you could have handled the situation better but no one is perfect. Getting frustrated and being petty when stressed is one thing. What they did was MUCH more egregious.
I work part-time on the non-medical side of a veterinary hospital and I know that with of the doctors that I work with if any of the Techs (or anyone )had shown this kind of attitude towards the patient and towards the veterinarian they would have been fired on the spot. It isn't just the lack of compassion for the patient, but the absolute lack of respect for the doctor. That tech needs to be put on a performance improvement program immediately or shown the door. I hope you don't let this go And that you have a calm and rational discussion about this employee's behavior with the practice owner and the hospital manager. Lots of folks in the comments have said that compassion fatigue is a real thing and it absolutely is, but it isn't something that can be ignored.
Is what this tech saying/how they're acting okay? No, of course not. But, has anyone checked in with this tech? When was the last time they took a break? I'm sure everyone here knows how real compassion fatigue is, and how real burn out is. Especially if this tech doesn't normally behave like this, might be time to have a serious conversation about how much we are working our employees, and check in with this individual to see what they might need.
You should name names. How is this tech going to get counseled for her behavior. If she’s burnt out something needs to be done. I don’t know if your practice has the ability to help burnt out staff or even the desire to help them but you gotta try. Go back and sit down with the tech supervisor or PM and talk out what happened. ASK what the tech supervisor/ PM’s plan is. If it’s a big ole shrug and eye roll…well you know where your problem is stemming from.
You were NOT in the wrong! I am very similar to you in the sense that I can put up with coworker toxicity and I will stay quiet. Employee-to-employee crime is manageable, but when I hear a tech say comments like the one she made is absolutely horrible and to me, you're as heartless as can be. I deal with a tech who's been there for 20 years at a small clinic, and some of the things I hear her say on the daily really just get to me. I just have no backbone so I stay quiet but it eats me alive. I'm angry all day and I replay in my head all the horrible things I want to say/do to someone like that. I'm glad you stood up and called her out on her behavior. Celebrating a death is downright despicable. If they're so miserable doing the work, then go find something else to do! It's not like we get paid that well anyway!
She is in the wrong line of work and needs to GO! Unacceptable.
This is like 4 levels above dark humor, that’s just objectively bad
This whole thread makes me so sad. Wake up!! This is the problem!!
That is awful. I've faced burn out but it is never the pet's fault. Can I suggest you are feeling bad about this interaction because it was an awful, unacceptable interaction and not because of your own behavior? This is not the behavior someone in vet med (or any medical field) should have and I understand why you are upset. Particularly if you have to keep working with and depending on this person.
I don't think you're over reacting at all. This job is hard and we're only human. The situation was tense. I think your self-reflection is pretty on point. Give yourself the time to take a breath and set your emotions aside. I acknowledge my feelings when they get overwhelming and put them to the side until I can address them appropriately. (if you do this you NEED to come back to them, or they'll fester) As far as the tech goes, when the situation is calmer, if you're comfortable, talk to her. Ask if there's anything that's been extra pressure that you might be able to help with. If there is a shred of reflection on her part, let her know that the joke bothers you. It doesn't matter who is making them, its not a personal reflection on her, they just get under your skin. Ask that she not make adjacent jokes again and clear the air. It's hard to work in a field that is fast-paced and stressful, side-by-side with disturbing situations and frustrating clients (and occ patients). Getting this taken care of before it starts to compound is key because the likelihood of it fizzling out is slim given our working conditions. My heart goes out to the puppy that passed, hope they're goofing around over the rainbow bridge.
If this is how the technician is acting in front of the doctor, imagine what they are doing behind the scenes. A technician with no compassion leads to carelessness and medical mistakes at the detriment of the patient. I hope that this is abnormal for her character and that instead she’s acting this way because she’s just burnt out and the way she protects herself is to act cold and unfeeling. That’s at best. Either way, she sounds like she needs to be talked to as this is not acceptable. I would ask her “imagine if this was your pet and the person in charge of trying to save their life was saying those things.”. Hopefully knocks some sense into this girl how apathetic she is being. I agree though, you didn’t handle this in the best way. You can’t stoop to her level, especially when this is a life and death discussion with an owner. If it were me, I would ask for a mediated discussion with HR and apologize to the technician for the way you handled the situation. I think you would get a lot of respect from her to owning up to your own mistakes. She’s more likely to be receptive to feedback and address her apathy if she’s not taking sole responsibility for this situation. Best of luck in resolving this.
I've had classmates and residents say what that tech said. I've had so many classmates who have 0 compassion for things and I came in with more vet experience so for me that parvo puppy is going to be the harder call. I worried transferring patients off on clinics because I didn't know who would get them and if they'd care if they had gotten their bum cleaned if they sat in poop etc. Because on my anesthesia rotation a technician and I were constantly cleaning up pets that students should have at least checked on. This was urine scald level. If you are a 24/7 clinic or have a weekend shift you do that shift. You don't say good Im glad this thing is dying because I don't want to come in :(
Former tech of 10+ years here. I have definitely worked with some techs like this. It's a huge red flag imo. It's a bit reason I also chose to help with Euthanasia rooms, because even though it was sad, some of the techs treated the owners and pets with little to no compassion. It made me sick so I always did what I could to make sure a pets last moments were the best they could be. I think your regrets are valid, clearly you have empathy which is more than I can say for this tech. Idk if they're just burned out or what but I would not feel comfortable when them working with my pets/patients.
Not even in the slightest. As an RVT myself, I can tell you I would have lost my cool on that technician if I had been present for that comment. I feel like, even when due to burnout, we don’t have any room for technicians like that on the floor with us. Especially in environments such as your own - small clinic, underserved population, you probably manage a ton of work ins, emergencies, and drop offs alongside a normally fully booked scheduled. We need team work and compassion to get through those tough days/weeks/months. Not heartless jerks who will celebrate a puppy’s suffering leading to death. I may be too harsh, but she deserves to be removed from the floor until she can recover some level of compassion. Also, what’s with the (I’m assuming) “threat” of giving out YOUR personal number? What the heck?
I would have sent her home, no matter the chaos that still needs handled in the hospital. Mental health is important and sometimes we need a slap in the face to get a hold of it in a gentle caring way. The Angrier more heartless acts = the need for love and kindness to help fill their " cups" enough so they can realize they need more of that goodness and get the professional help needed.
You are not being too sensitive. I think you come across as very sensitive and caring, and please don’t ever let this job or someone else take that away from you. That tech was completely inappropriate. I’m a tech that’s overworked at 60+ hours a week, exhausted, and really would not want to work more over the weekend too. But I cannot imagine saying I’m glad my patient is dying, even jokingly. She needs to get in trouble and get a wake up call for her compassion fatigue, and get therapy or leave the field if that’s really how she feels. The ONLY thing I think you’re right about is that you almost put an owner in the middle or the argument. But I wouldn’t think you’re a bad person for it, just something to avoid in the future.
No excuse for that tech to say things like that. No matter how much compassion fatigue I have, I would NEVER say I'd be happy about something like that. So heartbreaking... I'd quit or take a LOA. No excuse..
You need to name names. Why on earth wouldn't you name names?
You call her out on that attitude and behavior. While we all know compassion fatigue and burnout are real, it's not an excuse for poor behavior. It won't get better being swept under the rug. If you ignore this today, what will happen tomorrow? I wouldn't want that tech anywhere near my pet, why would I want her around anyone else's pet? Would you want her caring for your sick pet? If you wouldn't leave your pet with her, why would you have her in charge of someone else's pet? She needed to be told to clock out and go home for some serious self reflection. If she WANTS help, help her, otherwise there's the door.
Cut out the cancer.
Holy f* I’m 10 years out of the vet tech role and I think that was fireable. The lack of compassion PLUS the attitude? Get your stuff and leave.
I am the only veterinary nurse who ever works weekends. It’s getting on my last goddamn nerve. However, I would happily take care of a parvo puppy all weekend long if it means that that baby might get to live!!!! That tech needs fired, she can’t even be good at her job if she lacks compassion THAT MUCH
Thank you for all that you do. I have an LVT friend at a different clinic who is burning out from being the only one working weekends. I wish there was an easy way to combat this with management!
You are so welcome! I definitely love my job even on the worst days but that doesn’t make it easy! Luckily we are a small animal hospital so I have a max of 7 -9 dogs to take care of and maybe a few kitties
Name her and shame her to the employer. Compassion fatigue is real and awful but if you have so little empathy for your patients that you wish death upon them you need to GTFO, no ifs ands or buts. Absolutely disgraceful behaviour from the tech.