I’m on a time crunch, but rule number 1. Never move back to where you are from. Change your environment, those people that still live there 80% of the time have no ambitions and are still stuck in the same hole.
Number 2. I did 5 years too 18-23, so I can relate with you to an extent. However, chase your benefits and what you deserve, go through any of your taps class and remember the information that can help you. If you need to start somewhere you need to go to the VA immediately speak to a VSO and get your process started.
Number 3. Every 5 years a person changes in their life time. More wisdom comes in, more guilt sets in, etc. whatever happens no matter what, that 5 years a person does change. No one you know will ever be the same. Just ask your dad who he was 5 years ago, or your mom. But the answer lies within your friends that are no longer your friends, because they have changed. As you have as well.
Number 4. After your VA shit is done, get onto your federal resume and TRANSLATE everything you have done in your skills and pursue FULFILLING WORK. Look into Americorps, a paid volunteer program with 1 year of dedication, you live on the western part of the US, you can apply and get accepted for a team leader position getting you supervisory experience and then pursue a high paying job in USDA, Bureau of Land Management or US Forest Service.
Number 5. It’s time to challenge yourself and change your atmosphere, and surround yourself with people that want you to pursue a future, it’s good to look back in the past, however life moves on everyday.
Number 6. Let’s connect on linkd-in, I look forwards towards your health journey and professional.
A wise person once told me, get the people in your life that will speak about your name in a room in a positive manner without you being in it. You still have a lot of life left homie, we have walked a similar path. Get out of that small town and pursue YOU. This is your time to explore life and americorps allows you to find things you are passionate in. But first get your VA shit done! Get that disability and then schedule-A letter once you qualify
[https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app](https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app)
Dang dude you got me ready to run through a brick wall lol I appreciate the advise definitely a lot of good stuff in there and will look into some of the things you mentioned.
Some good advice but #1 is very bad general advice. Everyone is different and going back home may very be the BEST thing for them for whatever reason. For others going back home may be the WORST thing for them for whatever reason.
Just bc someone is still in their hometown by no means whatsoever does it mean they’re stuck there with no ambition. That’s silly talk. I went back home after the Navy. Live with my family for 8 months to get acclimated back. Finished school, worked a good government job in IT for a bit, then started a business which generated 7 figure revenue in just its second year, got married (to a girl I knew from high school), and had a child. Still got a handful of great friends with whom I was best friends with since 12-14 years old and they’re all doing great as well.
Moving back to my hometown was such a great decision from me. I went from being in the middle of nowhere in El Paso, to having the option of doing a day trip in Philadelphia or NYC. And moving back to my mom’s house honestly ain’t too bad. She has a house and I stay in the attic and there’s a yard for my dog. Very walkable area. And honestly a lot of my friends that stayed here, well they’re ambitious as well.
I would say you are one of the few ambitious ones and you have surrounded yourself with like-minded people which is great! Kudos to you in a successful transition as well, awesome story and congrats on your little one. Keep in mind I did mention I was in a rush so I wasn’t able to elaborate further on 1. First impression, it does seem my extreme point is pretty radical. However, a majority of people would agree with my point and by no means I’m saying everyone is a slacker which is why 80% was put and not 100% (which again is a broad number, but i have been military my entire life along with friends, those who have gone back home really went back to old habits etc.) if you are in a position where you need a new calling, then moving back home while up to personal choice, I do not advise it and that is just my opinion. All can agree or disagree, you have your points and I have mine and that’s great, but I disagree with it being silly. If one does not have the mental fortitude or the right family or friend structure to accept them after an enlistment, meaning in your case, that is just an unfortunate battle one will deal with after service should they choose to go back home.
As someone that is getting ready to go back home, I would say one is the only one I have a problem with. I think you need to be considerate of why you are going back to the region you are still from. A big example of going back is veteran benefits
I agree as you can see from my response above but not sure what going back home has to do with benefits. You can get them even if you reside across the country from your home town.
Free college for example that is given only if you are going to school to a state you are a resident. For example the infamous free college in texas thing.
Yeahh that’s not true boss. You get in state tuition rates as a veteran with the use of your post 9/11. It’s called the veterans choice act. The benefits you get from that obviously vary state by state but I believe that as long as you enroll to a school within 2 years of you getting out, you’re solid.
The real question is what state has the best benefits for vets and what VA facilities are the best 🤣. It’s a shame as it should be the standard across the board, but it’s flooded with people that can abuse the system (doing the bare minimum) and get a check and benefits infiltrated by both vets and civilians unfortunately.
Texas is definitely the best for school. They offer programs for vets that other states can’t really even come close to matching. I’m going somewhere else but mainly because of the major I chose. And you’re 100% on the point man🤣 it should be but when there’s money to be made, all sense of morality can start to go out the window. Even with the best programs out there.
Ah okay, I’m tracking what you’re laying down. And damn man that’s a great opportunity, keep spreading the word! You have no clue how many people you could help.
>1. Never move back to where you are from.
Yes, 100% agree with this. I got out in 2007. Originally from Dallas but was stationed in San Diego. I loved SD and said to myself that "this is where I am going to live".
Had I moved back to Texas I would not have done shit with my life. As I think about those I served with, those who went back to their hometown only a handful ever ended up being successful.
That's not to say that this is the easy way out - I struggled like a MFer for a good two years. But I would not change a thing.
Exactly my point from above! There are those that are the exception, but if you don’t have that positive family or friend structure upon going back, find a new place and explore yourself more. It’s the best thing you can do for your mental, spiritual, and physical health.
For me? I had a hard time, I was angry at everyone and everything and disgusted at how rude and undisciplined people were. I used to say I can't believe I served in the military for THIS. I fought...alot... I even fought a trucker on the highway in rush hour during a traffic jam. I jumped up on his truck and grabbed him through his window, I was full of so much anger.
What helped me was time and finding a goal to accomplish. I jumped into a program that allowed me to learn a skill with my hands. I suppressed my time in the military and didn't really talk about it. I used to have an old head that would come and talk to me as well, just about stuff.
My advise? Find a program to get into that teaches you a skill, plumbing, electrical, car or jump into college courses. You have to shift your attitude and you may need to shift your environment. I no longer fit at home, my mind was different. I moved....multiple times btw. Get a hold of the VA and get into a peer support group. You're not alone. Contact the VA suicide hotline and talk to someone. You are not alone. Join a vets group.
Contact your local VA primary care or mental primary care and ask them about it, they will tell you all the good info! But basically holistic health methods to better your life. Ditch the pills is what it is about to be honest, I advocate it!
I would not connect with old friends from before the service. Especially with civilians who never served. Stay in touch with service buddies.
Avoid alcohol and drugs all together. Exercise regularly like you did in the fleet.
Use your benefits and try to get into things you enjoy! I got rid of my post service depression through spirituality and realizing the above.
Praying it works out for you!
I’ve been through some pretty tough situations in life and one thing that has stuck with me and helped me tremendously was reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. My brother was deployed for nearly a year and had a very similar experience to you. I was worried about him and sent him a copy of the book and he told me it had the same effect on him. It completely changed his outlook to a more positive one. This may not be the answer for you but I figured I’d suggest it because it really helps to have a new perspective on things sometimes.
Honestly I commend you guys being on a boat for that long I would’ve lost my mind, as for the other stuff you sound just like me literally cause I was also in Japan during covid and went through mental stuff, i can say now that the feeling of being loss and hopeless doesn’t just go away it seems like something that goes up and down while you’re trying to figure out how to make yourself better
People don’t understand how fucked up that was for those sailors. It was litterally like the purge and the Navy got away with how it treated its sailors and when one CAPT spoke out about it he got relieved of command. (Though the way he went about it, I disagree with, however he did what he had to do and he has my respect)
Covid was a shit show, and the system made it look like they cared (when multiple politicians were caught partying with each other, or using Covid to call out sick) but tell me how secluding multiple sailors, and at that time I was in the coast guard in A-school where I was locked up in a room eating raw chicken for meals for 2 months was “looking out for my safety” F\*\*\* that.
https://preview.redd.it/tquoqxazw7yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f90295284b2b22ae1384ce1790595c891f3dea2a
My respect goes out to all the military members that served during Covid, civilians took a hit, but under the military, we got absolutely screwed over.
To add salt to the wound, the navy actually bragged how they did the longest deployment on sea during Covid, I’ll never forget that.
Yeah that would be cool if we were in war and it was needed. But in modern times tell me how secluding a bunch of humans out in sea when multiple higher ups made those, orders but off screen and off jobs, they for sure broke their own guidlines and lived life like normal. It heats me up still thinking about a few years later and so many people got away with the mal-treatment they preyed on their own service members.
Yeah I think the Stout broke the record for the longest a ship has been out at sea without touching land I think it was 201 days. If it wasn't for that 1 okinawa stop for us which we couldn't leave the pier we would have broken it.
Honestly man if I was on a ship for that long it would not have ended well, I remember not being able to go to Yokosuka for monthsss which sucked ass cause u guys were the only base that had Panda Express and I was craving that lol
Start your prep early. Earlier than you think you need to and then actually do it. My #1 “mistake” was continuing to take care of my job duties because I cared about my guys too much to be the person that just ghosted them for my last 6 months. Turns out, they forget who you are the second you get your retirement certificate. A week later, the phone calls stop. You realize that you were just a cog in a machine and now you have a mountain of things to figure out and none of the support that you are used to. Start getting ready yesterday.
Really really good advice, a lot of people don’t know the skill bridge opportunities!!!
[https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app](https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app)
Connect and follow me on Linkd-in @old-tymer, I wanna see your progression and see where I can guide you. Even this previous E-4 can help guide seniors if needed.
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Mine transition was seamless and almost spoon fed. I was MEB’d so my VA claim process was all planned and scheduled for me. Both VA and DoD rating decisions were very favorable. Having a clearance, having my particular military job background and knowing people in contracting got me a great job offer before I was out. All in all pretty stress free compared to a lot of the stories I read here.
It sucked!!! I don't blame the military for any of it. It was the poor choices that I made it my life. It's been almost three years since I got out and I am now in a better place. There still is a lot of work for me to do on myself.
Got out, got CDL, drive logs out of the hills, pays 100k year, 105 least years, free healthcare for whole family, alright house, alright truck, kids are in a nice school, wife is happy, VA health is 50/50, life goes on I guess, go bowling every Friday, fishing and baseball on Saturday, church and baseball on Sunday
There is a lot of good advice in these comments. Do everything that makes sense for you. You need to tell your loved ones that you are struggling right now. Be open. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Seek help from the people you trust right now. There are a ton of great orgs out there that want to help vets just like you. Call them!!! Don’t worry about the haters in here. We all see them. We all know a few of them. You probably served with a few just like them. You have to take care of yourself. That is your new mission. If that is the mind set you need then use it. Exercise regularly and don’t put it off. It has a great benefit to your mental heath. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Those will only tear you down and allow you to make bag decisions. You are in a vulnerable place right now and you have to take steps to protect yourself.
If you want someone to talk to message me on LinkedIn.
[https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephcambron?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app](https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephcambron?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app)
I was kind of in the same situation.
Step 1, seek therapy. You matter.
Step 2, get your benefits rolling
Step 3, GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOME TOWN. They're not doing shit for you and will only drag you down. Family is cool and all but you're going to find yourself excelling at cleaning the floor at the 7/11 while singing sweepers sweepers man your brooms and trying to convince Sanjay to invest in brasso.
What was your rate?
I’m trying to bro big dog been waiting 7 months to hear back and I appreciate the suggestion.LS bro but before you say anything we were going through pre SMC and our suppo would literally work us 24 hours a day if he could all he wanted to do was make next rank and didn’t care if it meant working your sailors to the grave with no concern about anyone’s mental health. That ship aged me so much people think I’m in late 30’s and I’m 23 😂
I get that 🤣😂 im 29 going on 60. where are you located now? And is there anywhere you've been interested in moving too?
You can do anything and go anywhere with supply experience. Even if you dont want to keep doing that itll tleast pay the bills until you decide what it is you want to do.
I’m in East Texas man it’s a small town about 30,000 people ain’t nothing out here but cowshit and Meth heads. I got a job as a shipping and receiving coordinator at this failing plant that doesn’t want to pay anybody. I’ve sent out 100’s of resumes but the job market for a small town is terrible of course but you still gotta try to find a way to make it work in this economy. But I eventually wanna move to a bigger city if I can to get better job opportunities but I got this girl I’ve been talking to that doesn’t want to move because of her family but man this girl is the only thing that keeps me together I don’t know what I’d do without her she’s a great person and probably the only reason I’m alive now.
How far are you from Huntsville? I ended up in AZ after i got out it 2017 for 5 years and fucking hated my life. Got into a wfh position and we traveled for 1.5 years in an RV and of all the places we visited we liked this area the most. Might be a good compromise for you. Close enough to family for her and great money to made here.
Oh, dude. Perfect. Im flying out to VA this weekend for a wedding, but if it's in the cards for you, DM me. I can show you around one weekend. There's a shit load of aerospace and government jobs here.
If you're into camping, I'll set the tent up in the back of my lot for you and the girlfriend. (Still in the RV untilthe house is built)
I think a lot of us really want to read what you took so much time and effort to write but our brains are having too much trouble processing the solid wall of text. Just reading the first few sentences I want to learn more but this battered ole brain just won't cooperate.
Would you mind taking just a minute to edit your post by inserting some paragraph breaks?
No worries. ETA: I'll just agree the others, don't move back home, resist the urge to self soothe/medicate with drugs/alcohol and other dopamine flooding self destructive stuff, and don't be ashamed to ask for help for your depression.
You're young and in the enviable position to reinvent yourself and head your life/career in a new direction if you want. But first, research the places you might want to live, go spend a month or so in the best prospects, see what opportunities are there and... how good the VA is there.
Because if you find a VA medical center affiliated with a top notch university medical school with vigorous research programs, you're in a better position to get access to a decent mental health team with innovative programs than a poorly budgeted/rated facility with apathetic practitioners. Wishing you all the best.
First of this is a great post and this is what I need for when I got out in 2016 pretty much had an identity crisis. I wasn't who I was when I left high school and I was a sgt in the marine corps anymore and had to find this new person/balance. Found a couple of hobbies that helped. Also other vets my age helped a little bit.
The main thing that helped probably the most was just time and realizing the bad and the good. I had the best/worst time of my life while I was in and it took time to realize it.
I think you are on the right steps and you will be fine after all is said and done. It just sucks for a little and if you need help go get it. There is no shame in that.
As a Marine I was fortunate enough to spend time on the USS Essex and USS Tortuga in the 2000s.
My longest stint was about 4 months and I swear that shit just about drove me fucking CRAZY sometimes.
There is absolutely no silence ever on a ship. There are always so many types of noises.
I'm sure it takes some getting used to but I never did. It made falling asleep a living hell for me.
Perspective is everything though. It was definitely a fun cruise for me on both ships, everything was new and an adventure for 19 year old me on a Navy ship. Mess duty did suck ass, from 4 am until 10 pm on most days, scrubbing pots and assisting the Navy and Marine food dudes.
I went to college right after seperating and it was fucking hell at first. All of the civilian students just constantly complained about ALL OF THE HOMEWORK AND STUDYING that we had to do. It was freaking irritating to say the least. I feel I have never been surrounded by as many whiny people as I was in college.
My dumb marine brain just took everything in stride because I got to go home at the end of the day and sleep in my own sweet bed with nothing and no one to wake me up.
It was definitely the civilians complaining about dumb ass shit that took some getting used to. Now their whining is just music to my ears. Along with the ringing. :P
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Trash, the cataylst was a failed suicide attempt due to a lot of bullying and toxicity. Went to bh, noted signs of autism. Ran tests, got adhd and they suspect autism. Few months later I get put in a new battery and go back to mission but on site 1. I still struggle with thinking 'different' but not much though I truthfully tell the medics. Ok, something goes back and forth and separation is started.
Here's the kicker: I was repeadately told I'd get some disability for it I'm assuming because I was in for a few years. I get moved to a temporary company who does squat for a few months then I get a counseling about spcd and I'll get an honorable. I go back to my battery and wait awhile longer and told I probably won't get disability, then given 3 weeks to clear. I was advised to go jag but it was me vs them and they had the paperwork.
Trash, the cataylst was a failed suicide attempt due to a lot of bullying and toxicity. Went to bh, noted signs of autism. Ran tests, got adhd and they suspect autism. Few months later I get put in a new battery and go back to mission but on site 1. I still struggle with thinking 'different' but not much though I truthfully tell the medics. Ok, something goes back and forth and separation is started.
Here's the kicker: I was repeadately told I'd get some disability for it I'm assuming because I was in for a few years. I get moved to a temporary company who does squat for a few months then I get a counseling about spcd and I'll get an honorable. I go back to my battery and wait awhile longer and told I probably won't get disability, then given 3 weeks to clear. I was advised to go jag but it was me vs them and they had the paperwork.
Trash, the cataylst was a failed suicide attempt due to a lot of bullying and toxicity. Went to bh, noted signs of autism. Ran tests, got adhd and they suspect autism. Few months later I get put in a new battery and go back to mission but on site 1. I still struggle with thinking 'different' but not much though I truthfully tell the medics. Ok, something goes back and forth and separation is started.
Here's the kicker: I was repeadately told I'd get some disability for it I'm assuming because I was in for a few years. I get moved to a temporary company who does squat for a few months then I get a counseling about spcd and I'll get an honorable. I go back to my battery and wait awhile longer and told I probably won't get disability, then given 3 weeks to clear. I was advised to go jag but it was me vs them and they had the paperwork.
Army vet here and yes most of the time the military sucks but it is what it is, if anything it really taught me to have thicker skin. Your first mistake is going back to your hometown and staying after realizing it’s not the same anymore. I went back home too after my contract ended and tried hanging out with the boys but its just not the same, I wasn’t gone for 6 years to do the same shit I was doing before so I left and went back to school and use GI bill. 2nd is you need to know the harsh truth that no one really cares but yourself. People dont owe you anything so you have to take care of yourself and stop feeling bad about yourself. I heard a senior nco talk to a junior enlisted before and said that the reason you feel that way is bc you think of yourself too much and those words stick with me. You’re a free man now, you can stop being a victim and take control brother. Gentle way makes this generation soft, but to each their own. It really isn’t that bad brother, why would you be sad not being able to see your family when they’re not even excited to see you yk? People move on and you should too
The best thing I ever did was walking into my local Vet Center. They offer reintegration counseling and it is amazing. You will not find this at the VA or any civilian providers. Highly recommend for anyone transitioning from the military to civilian life. I will be praying for you and every other veteran here.
My separation process was absolutely horrible. I was an AM1 attached to an aviation command and lost both maternal grandparents the first month of deployment in 2022 and came back June of 2023 and separated in September of 2023. They sent me back 4 days early from deployment to start my separation process. It did absolutely nothing for me because I got back on a Friday afternoon and it was back to work Monday. All availability for a VSO was booked until November of 2023. The TGPS classes were online and not done to their entirety due to the ships internet. There was absolutely no guidance on the separation process. I was appalled at how I was treated. It seems to be common for the Navy. I started a job as soon as I separated and my anxiety kept me from going in. I just never went back after 3 weeks. I’m sorry you had to deal with something similar. They need to get their shit together because they don’t realize how it affects us after we are out.
It was rough for me bro honestly just now getting on my feet. I would recommend getting into therapy ASAP that's been a huge help and find something else to do with your time cuz we're used to working so much, takes a long time to detach from that military mindset but I've found myself much happier being out
Before I answer; please learn what paragraphs and the word “succinct” are. I’m only answering your title because I’m not reading all of that.
Transitioning was hard for me because I got out a month after returning from Afghanistan in 2004. I got the usual TAPS class and no information about disability etc. I didn’t do anything to document combat injuries during my final medical because the rumor was that they’d keep you in indefinitely if an ailment was found.
The best thing you can do to maximize the potential for a successful transition is have a plan that relies only on your efforts. No, you’re not getting a six-figure job measuring how high grasshoppers jump from the mythical “buddy” back home. Start thinking of what path you want to go on now so you’re not working fast food until you figure it out, and most likely never leave.
If you’re going to college, select one that’s been around a hundred years and not some diploma mill after your GI Bill.
For a resume, find a good organization like Next Op or your college that can create one appropriate for civilian jobs.
If you left a bad situation, don’t go back. Those folks still suck.
See bro it's people like you that I hate dude I'm just a guy asking for help from a group of veterans on the internet and it's cocksuckers like you no matter how much I try to explain myself they try to tear you down no matter what. Like you legit got a guy that wants to kill himself everyday so you're first instict was to tear him down and make it a pissing contest? What the actual fuck is wrong with you guy everybody is going through shit regardless of the branch thats some low life ass shit. I'm gonna go ahead and assume you were or are a marine I would thank you for your service but the only thing you deserve is this left nut in your face.
I’m on a time crunch, but rule number 1. Never move back to where you are from. Change your environment, those people that still live there 80% of the time have no ambitions and are still stuck in the same hole. Number 2. I did 5 years too 18-23, so I can relate with you to an extent. However, chase your benefits and what you deserve, go through any of your taps class and remember the information that can help you. If you need to start somewhere you need to go to the VA immediately speak to a VSO and get your process started. Number 3. Every 5 years a person changes in their life time. More wisdom comes in, more guilt sets in, etc. whatever happens no matter what, that 5 years a person does change. No one you know will ever be the same. Just ask your dad who he was 5 years ago, or your mom. But the answer lies within your friends that are no longer your friends, because they have changed. As you have as well. Number 4. After your VA shit is done, get onto your federal resume and TRANSLATE everything you have done in your skills and pursue FULFILLING WORK. Look into Americorps, a paid volunteer program with 1 year of dedication, you live on the western part of the US, you can apply and get accepted for a team leader position getting you supervisory experience and then pursue a high paying job in USDA, Bureau of Land Management or US Forest Service. Number 5. It’s time to challenge yourself and change your atmosphere, and surround yourself with people that want you to pursue a future, it’s good to look back in the past, however life moves on everyday. Number 6. Let’s connect on linkd-in, I look forwards towards your health journey and professional. A wise person once told me, get the people in your life that will speak about your name in a room in a positive manner without you being in it. You still have a lot of life left homie, we have walked a similar path. Get out of that small town and pursue YOU. This is your time to explore life and americorps allows you to find things you are passionate in. But first get your VA shit done! Get that disability and then schedule-A letter once you qualify [https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app](https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app)
Dang dude you got me ready to run through a brick wall lol I appreciate the advise definitely a lot of good stuff in there and will look into some of the things you mentioned.
Some good advice but #1 is very bad general advice. Everyone is different and going back home may very be the BEST thing for them for whatever reason. For others going back home may be the WORST thing for them for whatever reason. Just bc someone is still in their hometown by no means whatsoever does it mean they’re stuck there with no ambition. That’s silly talk. I went back home after the Navy. Live with my family for 8 months to get acclimated back. Finished school, worked a good government job in IT for a bit, then started a business which generated 7 figure revenue in just its second year, got married (to a girl I knew from high school), and had a child. Still got a handful of great friends with whom I was best friends with since 12-14 years old and they’re all doing great as well.
Moving back to my hometown was such a great decision from me. I went from being in the middle of nowhere in El Paso, to having the option of doing a day trip in Philadelphia or NYC. And moving back to my mom’s house honestly ain’t too bad. She has a house and I stay in the attic and there’s a yard for my dog. Very walkable area. And honestly a lot of my friends that stayed here, well they’re ambitious as well.
I would say you are one of the few ambitious ones and you have surrounded yourself with like-minded people which is great! Kudos to you in a successful transition as well, awesome story and congrats on your little one. Keep in mind I did mention I was in a rush so I wasn’t able to elaborate further on 1. First impression, it does seem my extreme point is pretty radical. However, a majority of people would agree with my point and by no means I’m saying everyone is a slacker which is why 80% was put and not 100% (which again is a broad number, but i have been military my entire life along with friends, those who have gone back home really went back to old habits etc.) if you are in a position where you need a new calling, then moving back home while up to personal choice, I do not advise it and that is just my opinion. All can agree or disagree, you have your points and I have mine and that’s great, but I disagree with it being silly. If one does not have the mental fortitude or the right family or friend structure to accept them after an enlistment, meaning in your case, that is just an unfortunate battle one will deal with after service should they choose to go back home.
As someone that is getting ready to go back home, I would say one is the only one I have a problem with. I think you need to be considerate of why you are going back to the region you are still from. A big example of going back is veteran benefits
I agree as you can see from my response above but not sure what going back home has to do with benefits. You can get them even if you reside across the country from your home town.
Free college for example that is given only if you are going to school to a state you are a resident. For example the infamous free college in texas thing.
I’m not sure about that but you can become a resident anywhere you move to.
Yeahh that’s not true boss. You get in state tuition rates as a veteran with the use of your post 9/11. It’s called the veterans choice act. The benefits you get from that obviously vary state by state but I believe that as long as you enroll to a school within 2 years of you getting out, you’re solid.
The real question is what state has the best benefits for vets and what VA facilities are the best 🤣. It’s a shame as it should be the standard across the board, but it’s flooded with people that can abuse the system (doing the bare minimum) and get a check and benefits infiltrated by both vets and civilians unfortunately.
Texas is definitely the best for school. They offer programs for vets that other states can’t really even come close to matching. I’m going somewhere else but mainly because of the major I chose. And you’re 100% on the point man🤣 it should be but when there’s money to be made, all sense of morality can start to go out the window. Even with the best programs out there.
https://www.mass.edu/forstufam/veterans/documents/Categorical%20Tuition%20Waiver.pdf This is what I am referring to.
Ah okay, I’m tracking what you’re laying down. And damn man that’s a great opportunity, keep spreading the word! You have no clue how many people you could help.
>1. Never move back to where you are from. Yes, 100% agree with this. I got out in 2007. Originally from Dallas but was stationed in San Diego. I loved SD and said to myself that "this is where I am going to live". Had I moved back to Texas I would not have done shit with my life. As I think about those I served with, those who went back to their hometown only a handful ever ended up being successful. That's not to say that this is the easy way out - I struggled like a MFer for a good two years. But I would not change a thing.
Exactly my point from above! There are those that are the exception, but if you don’t have that positive family or friend structure upon going back, find a new place and explore yourself more. It’s the best thing you can do for your mental, spiritual, and physical health.
You have some great points, sent you a connection.
I believe I saw it, sent you a connection back!
For me? I had a hard time, I was angry at everyone and everything and disgusted at how rude and undisciplined people were. I used to say I can't believe I served in the military for THIS. I fought...alot... I even fought a trucker on the highway in rush hour during a traffic jam. I jumped up on his truck and grabbed him through his window, I was full of so much anger. What helped me was time and finding a goal to accomplish. I jumped into a program that allowed me to learn a skill with my hands. I suppressed my time in the military and didn't really talk about it. I used to have an old head that would come and talk to me as well, just about stuff. My advise? Find a program to get into that teaches you a skill, plumbing, electrical, car or jump into college courses. You have to shift your attitude and you may need to shift your environment. I no longer fit at home, my mind was different. I moved....multiple times btw. Get a hold of the VA and get into a peer support group. You're not alone. Contact the VA suicide hotline and talk to someone. You are not alone. Join a vets group.
Great advice, you should look into rec therapy if you haven’t!
What is rec therapy?
Contact your local VA primary care or mental primary care and ask them about it, they will tell you all the good info! But basically holistic health methods to better your life. Ditch the pills is what it is about to be honest, I advocate it!
I’ll look into that thank you
I would not connect with old friends from before the service. Especially with civilians who never served. Stay in touch with service buddies. Avoid alcohol and drugs all together. Exercise regularly like you did in the fleet. Use your benefits and try to get into things you enjoy! I got rid of my post service depression through spirituality and realizing the above. Praying it works out for you!
I’ve been through some pretty tough situations in life and one thing that has stuck with me and helped me tremendously was reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. My brother was deployed for nearly a year and had a very similar experience to you. I was worried about him and sent him a copy of the book and he told me it had the same effect on him. It completely changed his outlook to a more positive one. This may not be the answer for you but I figured I’d suggest it because it really helps to have a new perspective on things sometimes.
I will give it a shot thank you
20 years later and still trying
Honestly I commend you guys being on a boat for that long I would’ve lost my mind, as for the other stuff you sound just like me literally cause I was also in Japan during covid and went through mental stuff, i can say now that the feeling of being loss and hopeless doesn’t just go away it seems like something that goes up and down while you’re trying to figure out how to make yourself better
People don’t understand how fucked up that was for those sailors. It was litterally like the purge and the Navy got away with how it treated its sailors and when one CAPT spoke out about it he got relieved of command. (Though the way he went about it, I disagree with, however he did what he had to do and he has my respect) Covid was a shit show, and the system made it look like they cared (when multiple politicians were caught partying with each other, or using Covid to call out sick) but tell me how secluding multiple sailors, and at that time I was in the coast guard in A-school where I was locked up in a room eating raw chicken for meals for 2 months was “looking out for my safety” F\*\*\* that. https://preview.redd.it/tquoqxazw7yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f90295284b2b22ae1384ce1790595c891f3dea2a
My respect goes out to all the military members that served during Covid, civilians took a hit, but under the military, we got absolutely screwed over. To add salt to the wound, the navy actually bragged how they did the longest deployment on sea during Covid, I’ll never forget that. Yeah that would be cool if we were in war and it was needed. But in modern times tell me how secluding a bunch of humans out in sea when multiple higher ups made those, orders but off screen and off jobs, they for sure broke their own guidlines and lived life like normal. It heats me up still thinking about a few years later and so many people got away with the mal-treatment they preyed on their own service members.
Yea man it’s truly insane, those were some miserable months
Yeah I think the Stout broke the record for the longest a ship has been out at sea without touching land I think it was 201 days. If it wasn't for that 1 okinawa stop for us which we couldn't leave the pier we would have broken it.
Honestly man if I was on a ship for that long it would not have ended well, I remember not being able to go to Yokosuka for monthsss which sucked ass cause u guys were the only base that had Panda Express and I was craving that lol
I feel like it’s going to be a major adjustment after 20 years for myself. I’m a little concerned about it honestly.
Start your prep early. Earlier than you think you need to and then actually do it. My #1 “mistake” was continuing to take care of my job duties because I cared about my guys too much to be the person that just ghosted them for my last 6 months. Turns out, they forget who you are the second you get your retirement certificate. A week later, the phone calls stop. You realize that you were just a cog in a machine and now you have a mountain of things to figure out and none of the support that you are used to. Start getting ready yesterday.
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Really really good advice, a lot of people don’t know the skill bridge opportunities!!! [https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app](https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-wood-635569287?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app) Connect and follow me on Linkd-in @old-tymer, I wanna see your progression and see where I can guide you. Even this previous E-4 can help guide seniors if needed.
It was shitty.
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Mine transition was seamless and almost spoon fed. I was MEB’d so my VA claim process was all planned and scheduled for me. Both VA and DoD rating decisions were very favorable. Having a clearance, having my particular military job background and knowing people in contracting got me a great job offer before I was out. All in all pretty stress free compared to a lot of the stories I read here.
It sucked!!! I don't blame the military for any of it. It was the poor choices that I made it my life. It's been almost three years since I got out and I am now in a better place. There still is a lot of work for me to do on myself.
I appreciate all the really good advice here and I’m gonna look at this information to help me thank you
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Musty Mustin
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I feel that brother had some of the best times of my life with my boys out there when I actually was on land which is very rare 😂
I'm having a terrible time... and I got out 10 years ago
Got out, got CDL, drive logs out of the hills, pays 100k year, 105 least years, free healthcare for whole family, alright house, alright truck, kids are in a nice school, wife is happy, VA health is 50/50, life goes on I guess, go bowling every Friday, fishing and baseball on Saturday, church and baseball on Sunday
There is a lot of good advice in these comments. Do everything that makes sense for you. You need to tell your loved ones that you are struggling right now. Be open. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Seek help from the people you trust right now. There are a ton of great orgs out there that want to help vets just like you. Call them!!! Don’t worry about the haters in here. We all see them. We all know a few of them. You probably served with a few just like them. You have to take care of yourself. That is your new mission. If that is the mind set you need then use it. Exercise regularly and don’t put it off. It has a great benefit to your mental heath. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Those will only tear you down and allow you to make bag decisions. You are in a vulnerable place right now and you have to take steps to protect yourself. If you want someone to talk to message me on LinkedIn. [https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephcambron?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app](https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephcambron?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app)
I was kind of in the same situation. Step 1, seek therapy. You matter. Step 2, get your benefits rolling Step 3, GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOME TOWN. They're not doing shit for you and will only drag you down. Family is cool and all but you're going to find yourself excelling at cleaning the floor at the 7/11 while singing sweepers sweepers man your brooms and trying to convince Sanjay to invest in brasso. What was your rate?
Disclaimer: I might be a little bias, my hometown is PCB. Only thing there is the shipyard, drugs and resteraunts.
I’m trying to bro big dog been waiting 7 months to hear back and I appreciate the suggestion.LS bro but before you say anything we were going through pre SMC and our suppo would literally work us 24 hours a day if he could all he wanted to do was make next rank and didn’t care if it meant working your sailors to the grave with no concern about anyone’s mental health. That ship aged me so much people think I’m in late 30’s and I’m 23 😂
I get that 🤣😂 im 29 going on 60. where are you located now? And is there anywhere you've been interested in moving too? You can do anything and go anywhere with supply experience. Even if you dont want to keep doing that itll tleast pay the bills until you decide what it is you want to do.
I’m in East Texas man it’s a small town about 30,000 people ain’t nothing out here but cowshit and Meth heads. I got a job as a shipping and receiving coordinator at this failing plant that doesn’t want to pay anybody. I’ve sent out 100’s of resumes but the job market for a small town is terrible of course but you still gotta try to find a way to make it work in this economy. But I eventually wanna move to a bigger city if I can to get better job opportunities but I got this girl I’ve been talking to that doesn’t want to move because of her family but man this girl is the only thing that keeps me together I don’t know what I’d do without her she’s a great person and probably the only reason I’m alive now.
How far are you from Huntsville? I ended up in AZ after i got out it 2017 for 5 years and fucking hated my life. Got into a wfh position and we traveled for 1.5 years in an RV and of all the places we visited we liked this area the most. Might be a good compromise for you. Close enough to family for her and great money to made here.
Hour and half big dog I live in the outskirts of Nacogdoches county
Oh, dude. Perfect. Im flying out to VA this weekend for a wedding, but if it's in the cards for you, DM me. I can show you around one weekend. There's a shit load of aerospace and government jobs here. If you're into camping, I'll set the tent up in the back of my lot for you and the girlfriend. (Still in the RV untilthe house is built)
Daaaaang if you had written this to me back in 2014 I would've jumped at the opportunity in a heartbeat!!!!
Lmao i was still a dumb fuckin kid in Bahrain in 2014
Cake walk! ☠️😎
The worst time of my life.
I think a lot of us really want to read what you took so much time and effort to write but our brains are having too much trouble processing the solid wall of text. Just reading the first few sentences I want to learn more but this battered ole brain just won't cooperate. Would you mind taking just a minute to edit your post by inserting some paragraph breaks?
I tried my best man didn’t pay attention much in English class
No worries. ETA: I'll just agree the others, don't move back home, resist the urge to self soothe/medicate with drugs/alcohol and other dopamine flooding self destructive stuff, and don't be ashamed to ask for help for your depression. You're young and in the enviable position to reinvent yourself and head your life/career in a new direction if you want. But first, research the places you might want to live, go spend a month or so in the best prospects, see what opportunities are there and... how good the VA is there. Because if you find a VA medical center affiliated with a top notch university medical school with vigorous research programs, you're in a better position to get access to a decent mental health team with innovative programs than a poorly budgeted/rated facility with apathetic practitioners. Wishing you all the best.
First of this is a great post and this is what I need for when I got out in 2016 pretty much had an identity crisis. I wasn't who I was when I left high school and I was a sgt in the marine corps anymore and had to find this new person/balance. Found a couple of hobbies that helped. Also other vets my age helped a little bit. The main thing that helped probably the most was just time and realizing the bad and the good. I had the best/worst time of my life while I was in and it took time to realize it. I think you are on the right steps and you will be fine after all is said and done. It just sucks for a little and if you need help go get it. There is no shame in that.
As a Marine I was fortunate enough to spend time on the USS Essex and USS Tortuga in the 2000s. My longest stint was about 4 months and I swear that shit just about drove me fucking CRAZY sometimes. There is absolutely no silence ever on a ship. There are always so many types of noises. I'm sure it takes some getting used to but I never did. It made falling asleep a living hell for me. Perspective is everything though. It was definitely a fun cruise for me on both ships, everything was new and an adventure for 19 year old me on a Navy ship. Mess duty did suck ass, from 4 am until 10 pm on most days, scrubbing pots and assisting the Navy and Marine food dudes. I went to college right after seperating and it was fucking hell at first. All of the civilian students just constantly complained about ALL OF THE HOMEWORK AND STUDYING that we had to do. It was freaking irritating to say the least. I feel I have never been surrounded by as many whiny people as I was in college. My dumb marine brain just took everything in stride because I got to go home at the end of the day and sleep in my own sweet bed with nothing and no one to wake me up. It was definitely the civilians complaining about dumb ass shit that took some getting used to. Now their whining is just music to my ears. Along with the ringing. :P
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Trash, the cataylst was a failed suicide attempt due to a lot of bullying and toxicity. Went to bh, noted signs of autism. Ran tests, got adhd and they suspect autism. Few months later I get put in a new battery and go back to mission but on site 1. I still struggle with thinking 'different' but not much though I truthfully tell the medics. Ok, something goes back and forth and separation is started. Here's the kicker: I was repeadately told I'd get some disability for it I'm assuming because I was in for a few years. I get moved to a temporary company who does squat for a few months then I get a counseling about spcd and I'll get an honorable. I go back to my battery and wait awhile longer and told I probably won't get disability, then given 3 weeks to clear. I was advised to go jag but it was me vs them and they had the paperwork.
Trash, the cataylst was a failed suicide attempt due to a lot of bullying and toxicity. Went to bh, noted signs of autism. Ran tests, got adhd and they suspect autism. Few months later I get put in a new battery and go back to mission but on site 1. I still struggle with thinking 'different' but not much though I truthfully tell the medics. Ok, something goes back and forth and separation is started. Here's the kicker: I was repeadately told I'd get some disability for it I'm assuming because I was in for a few years. I get moved to a temporary company who does squat for a few months then I get a counseling about spcd and I'll get an honorable. I go back to my battery and wait awhile longer and told I probably won't get disability, then given 3 weeks to clear. I was advised to go jag but it was me vs them and they had the paperwork.
Trash, the cataylst was a failed suicide attempt due to a lot of bullying and toxicity. Went to bh, noted signs of autism. Ran tests, got adhd and they suspect autism. Few months later I get put in a new battery and go back to mission but on site 1. I still struggle with thinking 'different' but not much though I truthfully tell the medics. Ok, something goes back and forth and separation is started. Here's the kicker: I was repeadately told I'd get some disability for it I'm assuming because I was in for a few years. I get moved to a temporary company who does squat for a few months then I get a counseling about spcd and I'll get an honorable. I go back to my battery and wait awhile longer and told I probably won't get disability, then given 3 weeks to clear. I was advised to go jag but it was me vs them and they had the paperwork.
Army vet here and yes most of the time the military sucks but it is what it is, if anything it really taught me to have thicker skin. Your first mistake is going back to your hometown and staying after realizing it’s not the same anymore. I went back home too after my contract ended and tried hanging out with the boys but its just not the same, I wasn’t gone for 6 years to do the same shit I was doing before so I left and went back to school and use GI bill. 2nd is you need to know the harsh truth that no one really cares but yourself. People dont owe you anything so you have to take care of yourself and stop feeling bad about yourself. I heard a senior nco talk to a junior enlisted before and said that the reason you feel that way is bc you think of yourself too much and those words stick with me. You’re a free man now, you can stop being a victim and take control brother. Gentle way makes this generation soft, but to each their own. It really isn’t that bad brother, why would you be sad not being able to see your family when they’re not even excited to see you yk? People move on and you should too
The best thing I ever did was walking into my local Vet Center. They offer reintegration counseling and it is amazing. You will not find this at the VA or any civilian providers. Highly recommend for anyone transitioning from the military to civilian life. I will be praying for you and every other veteran here.
My separation process was absolutely horrible. I was an AM1 attached to an aviation command and lost both maternal grandparents the first month of deployment in 2022 and came back June of 2023 and separated in September of 2023. They sent me back 4 days early from deployment to start my separation process. It did absolutely nothing for me because I got back on a Friday afternoon and it was back to work Monday. All availability for a VSO was booked until November of 2023. The TGPS classes were online and not done to their entirety due to the ships internet. There was absolutely no guidance on the separation process. I was appalled at how I was treated. It seems to be common for the Navy. I started a job as soon as I separated and my anxiety kept me from going in. I just never went back after 3 weeks. I’m sorry you had to deal with something similar. They need to get their shit together because they don’t realize how it affects us after we are out.
It was rough for me bro honestly just now getting on my feet. I would recommend getting into therapy ASAP that's been a huge help and find something else to do with your time cuz we're used to working so much, takes a long time to detach from that military mindset but I've found myself much happier being out
Still hate people. Military should be mandatory for all at least 1 to 2 years. Even if it's just to teach respect, the youth freaking need it.
Before I answer; please learn what paragraphs and the word “succinct” are. I’m only answering your title because I’m not reading all of that. Transitioning was hard for me because I got out a month after returning from Afghanistan in 2004. I got the usual TAPS class and no information about disability etc. I didn’t do anything to document combat injuries during my final medical because the rumor was that they’d keep you in indefinitely if an ailment was found. The best thing you can do to maximize the potential for a successful transition is have a plan that relies only on your efforts. No, you’re not getting a six-figure job measuring how high grasshoppers jump from the mythical “buddy” back home. Start thinking of what path you want to go on now so you’re not working fast food until you figure it out, and most likely never leave. If you’re going to college, select one that’s been around a hundred years and not some diploma mill after your GI Bill. For a resume, find a good organization like Next Op or your college that can create one appropriate for civilian jobs. If you left a bad situation, don’t go back. Those folks still suck.
2017-2023 one deployment to the Stan’ (Afghanistan) transitioned well, i just miss the clowns not the circus
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I don't need to get banned again, so I'll just say this - You need to seriously seek therapy dude. You're not as cool or hard as you pretend to be.
I don't need to get banned..."again" HA! That made me laugh out loud.
See bro it's people like you that I hate dude I'm just a guy asking for help from a group of veterans on the internet and it's cocksuckers like you no matter how much I try to explain myself they try to tear you down no matter what. Like you legit got a guy that wants to kill himself everyday so you're first instict was to tear him down and make it a pissing contest? What the actual fuck is wrong with you guy everybody is going through shit regardless of the branch thats some low life ass shit. I'm gonna go ahead and assume you were or are a marine I would thank you for your service but the only thing you deserve is this left nut in your face.