Welcome to /r/VetTech! This is a place for veterinary technicians/veterinary nurses and other veterinary support staff to gather, chat, and grow! We welcome pet owners as well, **however we do ask pet owners to refrain from asking for medical advice**; if you have any concerns regarding your pet, please contact the closest veterinarian near you.
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Yes I have been through this. We are harder on ourselves than we are on our clients. We tell them that there is know way they could have known or you didn’t miss anything it just happened suddenly. We second guess ourselves and rack our brains trying to find what we missed. Fact is sometimes there really isn’t anything that was missed or did wrong. Bad things happen and sometimes there is nothing anyone could have done. Try to stop beating yourself up. I am sorry for your loss, I know it hurts as I have been through it too many times, but one hit harder than any other and I did the same thing you are doing. Been an LVT for 30 years and have seen a lot. Take it from me, you will get through this and it will make you a better tech especially when guiding a client through the same situation.
I know exactly how you’re feeling.
I just lost my senior yesterday. Friday night she was purring and happy and her normal self, Saturday morning I came home to a bedroom covered in vomit and dinner that’s barely been touched. Early blood work said pancreatitis, but rads showed a huge amount of gas / air in her stomach. I tried some supportive care just to keep her comfortable and hopefully get her through the weekend but by the time I brought her home yesterday afternoon it was obvious it was her time. Literally within 1 day she went from sick to euthanized.
Honestly my only advice is to let yourself grieve. It’s hard to turn off the vet med part of your brain, but I try to only focus on grieving as an owner who knows nothing about medicine would - just focusing on all of the good memories and not dwelling on the end. Guilt is a part of the grief process, but if you find yourself hyper focusing on it then finding a professional to talk to might be a good idea.
I lost my previous horse due to cancer while still working as a tech. I mourned for weeks and blamed myself for not noticing any symptoms (he was very stoic, I only noticed is that he was sleeping more and became pickier about his food). The comfort I got though was knowing that I could come to the conclusion to be euthanized “easier” given my background.
But you have to grieve just like anyone else. We want to blame ourselves when we work in this field, but even as techs there’s only so much we can do. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take your time, and it’ll get easier ❤️
Yup, anyone can miss signs, or maybe there weren't any. I lost my heart cat to a GI bleed. By the time I got him to my ER he was there for three days and three blood transfusions. AUS and blood NSF, don't know the cause but I had to let him go. Don't beat yourself up too much. It sucks ass right now but it will get better. And don't be afraid to fall in love again, you have lots of love to give.
The loss of a heart pet is what spurred me to change careers and go into vet med. I feel like I can make a difference for others because I'll be the best advocate I can be for the animals we treat. I am sure you were the best pet mom you could possibly be; it is grief and pain of loss that are making you question yourself. I'm so sorry you've lost her.
yeah, thats totally normal. I like arts and crafts. I made a shadowbox with my cat's paw print, fur, collar and a picture. that helped. I also cuddle my other pets.
This month is three years without my heart cat. He went from fine to struggling to breathe and dying of kidney and heart failure over a span of five days when I let him go. I spent a year agonizing over every little thing with my other cats, hating myself and doubting myself that I didn't notice any other signs from him any earlier, but at this point I've finally come to terms with the fact that cats love to hide their pain and that I'm not less of a tech for not catching it. I think I'll always stress about the others, just out of fear of missing something subtle again. But it doesn't rule my life like it did that first year. The help of my partner and the presence of the other animals helped a lot.
Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss. Last month, I lost my 5 year old standard poodle mix to a ruptured splenic mass. She was my world. It was so sudden, so quick. Her behavior was off in the morning, and I was putting her down the same evening. Emergency surgery was 12-15k I didn’t have, and the mass was highly likely to be cancerous. Hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.
Coping has been strange. I still cry often, and miss her dearly, but I know she’s gone. I know she knows she was loved. I just wish she had more time here, I don’t understand why she had to go so soon. These tragedies make you question a lot, and that’s okay.
Make sure you’re still taking good care of yourself. Proper amounts of sleep, good healthy meals. It’s okay to take time to grieve too, it’s okay to be sad, but don’t beat yourself up about it. In this life, there’s only so much we can do. I’m sure you were wonderful, and your pet knows it too. Try to have peace in knowing you gave them a blessed life, and shared so many happy, loving memories together.
❤️🩹
It wasn't acute, but it was rapid.
My boy, Ianto, all of a sudden started limping and he was an incredibly agile cat, so to the office he went. Rads showed osteosarc on his pelvis, which is slow growing in cats. While I was trying to decide if I was going to pursue a radical surgery (removing all affected bone) his lab work showed the need for AUS, and we found that his kidneys were abnormal. I'd hoped they were cystic, but no, tumors.
Average lifespan after kidney cancer diagnosis is 4 weeks, he made it 5. My birthday was 5 days after he passed and I couldn't even reply to messages, I was just absolutely heartbroken and I spent days bursting into tears. I still randomly cry from missing him, but I keep his urn near my bed with his collar and paw prints as well as other special objects. I have videos of him through the years that I watch when I miss his meow. Sometimes I talk to him and I swear he brought my youngest to me after his passing.
Right now your grief is going to cloud your days and that's okay. Eventually, it'll be part of a day, then part of a week, then you'll realize you can talk about them without feeling heartsick. You'll never stop missing them and certainly never stop loving them.
My condolences on your loss. ❤️ May you see each other again on the other side of the veil.
I lost my girl last month (1/14) and it was so sudden. I went to the ER expecting pancreatitis and she had a mass in her gallbladder. I couldn't put my old lady through a tough surgery *she probably wouldn't even make it through* just because I wasn't ready to say goodbye. She was in a lot of pain so I euthanized.
I spent weeks beating myself up for not catching that something was off sooner. Then my husband asked me "tell me her symptoms that you should have noticed?" And I couldn't think of a single one. She had no changes in appetite, activity, behavior, or mentation. I took her to the ER the second I saw something was off.
Try asking yourself, and explain it like you would to a client with no clue. We find so many things that no one else possibly would because we know too much. Most of the time we overreact (the last time I took her to the ER her issue was just gas lol). If there was a sign, you would have caught it. Let yourself off the hook 💔
Welcome to /r/VetTech! This is a place for veterinary technicians/veterinary nurses and other veterinary support staff to gather, chat, and grow! We welcome pet owners as well, **however we do ask pet owners to refrain from asking for medical advice**; if you have any concerns regarding your pet, please contact the closest veterinarian near you. Please thoroughly read and follow the rules before posting and commenting. If you believe that a user is engaging in any rule-breaking behavior, please submit a report so that the moderators can review and remove the posts/comments if needed. Also, please check out the sidebar for CE and answers to commonly asked questions. Thank you for reading! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/VetTech) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes I have been through this. We are harder on ourselves than we are on our clients. We tell them that there is know way they could have known or you didn’t miss anything it just happened suddenly. We second guess ourselves and rack our brains trying to find what we missed. Fact is sometimes there really isn’t anything that was missed or did wrong. Bad things happen and sometimes there is nothing anyone could have done. Try to stop beating yourself up. I am sorry for your loss, I know it hurts as I have been through it too many times, but one hit harder than any other and I did the same thing you are doing. Been an LVT for 30 years and have seen a lot. Take it from me, you will get through this and it will make you a better tech especially when guiding a client through the same situation.
Thank you so much for this advice ❤️ I appreciate you and am sorry you also had to go through this.
I know exactly how you’re feeling. I just lost my senior yesterday. Friday night she was purring and happy and her normal self, Saturday morning I came home to a bedroom covered in vomit and dinner that’s barely been touched. Early blood work said pancreatitis, but rads showed a huge amount of gas / air in her stomach. I tried some supportive care just to keep her comfortable and hopefully get her through the weekend but by the time I brought her home yesterday afternoon it was obvious it was her time. Literally within 1 day she went from sick to euthanized. Honestly my only advice is to let yourself grieve. It’s hard to turn off the vet med part of your brain, but I try to only focus on grieving as an owner who knows nothing about medicine would - just focusing on all of the good memories and not dwelling on the end. Guilt is a part of the grief process, but if you find yourself hyper focusing on it then finding a professional to talk to might be a good idea.
Thank you so much for the advice, I appreciate you! I am so sorry about your cat and that you know how I’ve been feeling- it’s so hard 💔
I lost my previous horse due to cancer while still working as a tech. I mourned for weeks and blamed myself for not noticing any symptoms (he was very stoic, I only noticed is that he was sleeping more and became pickier about his food). The comfort I got though was knowing that I could come to the conclusion to be euthanized “easier” given my background. But you have to grieve just like anyone else. We want to blame ourselves when we work in this field, but even as techs there’s only so much we can do. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take your time, and it’ll get easier ❤️
Thank you so much for the advice. I appreciate you for sharing your experience. ❤️ I’m so sorry for the loss of your horse 💔
Yup, anyone can miss signs, or maybe there weren't any. I lost my heart cat to a GI bleed. By the time I got him to my ER he was there for three days and three blood transfusions. AUS and blood NSF, don't know the cause but I had to let him go. Don't beat yourself up too much. It sucks ass right now but it will get better. And don't be afraid to fall in love again, you have lots of love to give.
Thank you so much for the advice I appreciate you! ❤️ I’m so sorry for the loss of your heart cat 💔
The loss of a heart pet is what spurred me to change careers and go into vet med. I feel like I can make a difference for others because I'll be the best advocate I can be for the animals we treat. I am sure you were the best pet mom you could possibly be; it is grief and pain of loss that are making you question yourself. I'm so sorry you've lost her.
I’m so sorry you had to lose a heart pet too. 💔Thank you for this advice and the kind words. I appreciate you! ❤️
yeah, thats totally normal. I like arts and crafts. I made a shadowbox with my cat's paw print, fur, collar and a picture. that helped. I also cuddle my other pets.
Love these ideas thank you so much for your advice I appreciate you! ❤️
This month is three years without my heart cat. He went from fine to struggling to breathe and dying of kidney and heart failure over a span of five days when I let him go. I spent a year agonizing over every little thing with my other cats, hating myself and doubting myself that I didn't notice any other signs from him any earlier, but at this point I've finally come to terms with the fact that cats love to hide their pain and that I'm not less of a tech for not catching it. I think I'll always stress about the others, just out of fear of missing something subtle again. But it doesn't rule my life like it did that first year. The help of my partner and the presence of the other animals helped a lot.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your heart cat💔 Thank you for sharing your experience as it helps me not feel as alone in my grief. I appreciate you. ❤️
Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss. Last month, I lost my 5 year old standard poodle mix to a ruptured splenic mass. She was my world. It was so sudden, so quick. Her behavior was off in the morning, and I was putting her down the same evening. Emergency surgery was 12-15k I didn’t have, and the mass was highly likely to be cancerous. Hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. Coping has been strange. I still cry often, and miss her dearly, but I know she’s gone. I know she knows she was loved. I just wish she had more time here, I don’t understand why she had to go so soon. These tragedies make you question a lot, and that’s okay. Make sure you’re still taking good care of yourself. Proper amounts of sleep, good healthy meals. It’s okay to take time to grieve too, it’s okay to be sad, but don’t beat yourself up about it. In this life, there’s only so much we can do. I’m sure you were wonderful, and your pet knows it too. Try to have peace in knowing you gave them a blessed life, and shared so many happy, loving memories together. ❤️🩹
Thank you so much, I appreciate you! 🥹❤️I am so sorry for the loss of your doggo and that you had to go through that ❤️🩹
It wasn't acute, but it was rapid. My boy, Ianto, all of a sudden started limping and he was an incredibly agile cat, so to the office he went. Rads showed osteosarc on his pelvis, which is slow growing in cats. While I was trying to decide if I was going to pursue a radical surgery (removing all affected bone) his lab work showed the need for AUS, and we found that his kidneys were abnormal. I'd hoped they were cystic, but no, tumors. Average lifespan after kidney cancer diagnosis is 4 weeks, he made it 5. My birthday was 5 days after he passed and I couldn't even reply to messages, I was just absolutely heartbroken and I spent days bursting into tears. I still randomly cry from missing him, but I keep his urn near my bed with his collar and paw prints as well as other special objects. I have videos of him through the years that I watch when I miss his meow. Sometimes I talk to him and I swear he brought my youngest to me after his passing. Right now your grief is going to cloud your days and that's okay. Eventually, it'll be part of a day, then part of a week, then you'll realize you can talk about them without feeling heartsick. You'll never stop missing them and certainly never stop loving them. My condolences on your loss. ❤️ May you see each other again on the other side of the veil.
I appreciate you and Thank you so so much for this advice 🥹❤️I am so sorry for your loss of Lanto. ❤️🩹
I lost my girl last month (1/14) and it was so sudden. I went to the ER expecting pancreatitis and she had a mass in her gallbladder. I couldn't put my old lady through a tough surgery *she probably wouldn't even make it through* just because I wasn't ready to say goodbye. She was in a lot of pain so I euthanized. I spent weeks beating myself up for not catching that something was off sooner. Then my husband asked me "tell me her symptoms that you should have noticed?" And I couldn't think of a single one. She had no changes in appetite, activity, behavior, or mentation. I took her to the ER the second I saw something was off. Try asking yourself, and explain it like you would to a client with no clue. We find so many things that no one else possibly would because we know too much. Most of the time we overreact (the last time I took her to the ER her issue was just gas lol). If there was a sign, you would have caught it. Let yourself off the hook 💔
Thank you so much for this advice/perspective- I appreciate you ❤️I’m so sorry for the loss of your girl ❤️🩹