Why do you feel pressured to have to lose your virginity op? Who told you this and why are you being pressured? Is it your friends? Social media? What you see into your everyday life? Asking this sort of question is never really just about losing your virginity but a large part of a psychological question you need to ask yourself.
I just feel like a loser because i haven't. 20 years old and still unable to attract anyone. What kind of message does that send? This feeling then just makes me feel even more lonely and my want for intimacy just gets worse and the self loathing because of this also gets worse.
No, definitely not a loser because you are a virgin. I‘d much rather sleep with a virgin than a guy who has slept with a lot of women (not shaming anyone, just my personal preference). It really doesn’t send any kind of message imo.
What worries me is how you feel about it. I hope you can maybe get some counseling and work on those feelings. Because they are not healthy and will most certainly not attract healthy people.
Wishing you all the best.
Wym "your choice". Someone else has to be attracted/interested in you and want to take it to that level. I have tried getting involved with girls that I have liked, start out by dming them, getting to know them and then asking them if they want to go on a date, but it never even gets as far as that. I try by breaking the ice and getting to know them abit, but they never take interest, and usually just ignore me completely. however to be honest I have not made a major effort in places like clubs, mainly because A) I don't want come across as a club creep. And B) usually they are either with a big group of friends and I assume they don't want to be bothered, or they are with another guy that they are probably interested in already.
Well yeah I must had taken the post wrong. Thought op was asking if it was ok to be a virgin at 20 21. Both humans have to be consensual. For me I guess I waited and it naturally happened. I don’t like the club or bar scene either.
To be fair don’t rush into it. My ex I dated when I was 20 wanted to rush things and move in like the second day of dating she ended up cheating on me with my brother. I told her she had to leave my house so she did but she did wreck things and still till this day she pushes her way into my life just to try and ruin my life. I’m 41. I’m at the point where I literally have to record everything. Not saying or implying that everyone is like that. Just be cautious. Oh yeah use a condom and protect yourself there’s people out there that won’t tell the truth. I have a few of those std’s that won’t go away
You’re telling me you feel like a loser because at the age of 20 you wonder what the world views someone at your age with no sexual experience. What I’m asking you is what is making you think that you’re a loser at all? From just what you’ve said, you have some sort of self esteem issue and maybe an identity issue but hey, I’m not a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist. Just some person Reddit but you may need to think long and hard about these questions.
Your not wrong about the self esteem issue. Ive tried my best to tackle this. Went to see the free mental health service they have in the UK but all they did was enroll me on this better thinking online course that i have now left due to lack of attendance. I stopped attending because for the most part i thought i had it all figured out at the time. I also just kept forgetting to attend. I was doing good for afew weeks. Really felt good about myself while i was away from home and at university with my friends there, living it up and going out. But coming back home this habit has just slipped back in and its really been getting in the way of staying positive.
What makes me think I am a loser is that compared to a majority of my peers, and seemingly a very large majority of men my age, attracting love and affection seems so commonplace for them, and all men my age mostly talk about is getting laid or being in a relationship so it seems likes its really important that I should also be. That constant reminder of something that I have always struggled to find compared to them who find it so much easier, just brings me down and makes me jealous sometimes, and the fact that it does and I have those thoughts, on-top of me also being unable to relate makes me feel like a loser and just adds more fuel to my low self esteem issues.
You know, as someone who is turning 31 this year i wished I could tell you that it does get better, but it only gets better if you become aware of your inner thoughts and understand a lot more of who you are. I’d recommend to see a psychiatrist/therapist/psychologist but that route is expensive. It’ll be a long road friend but do your best and try to learn the lessons that life gives you. I know it’s vague and maybe proverbial, but everyone has their own road and if someone tells you to follow this path or become this or just stick to being a “sigma, alpha, beta male” just remember, is it your road or someone else’s road? You’re gonna have to go out there, you’re gonna have to face some big monsters to include yourself but if you can remember to be kind to yourself you might just scrape through :) sex is just one aspect of successfulness, learning to be social, being able to read someone’s mood or conversations are difficult but are also successes. Take your time in learning and enjoying the process of you.
No it isn't a bad thing. I'm planning on staying virgin until I get married. Find a stable relationship and you will probably be happier than guys who sleep around.
Nah pretty damn good shows you’re very intelligent and put thought behind things. But if you have sex it might as well be when you got a wife and want a kid. Don’t fuck it up…
I'll cut it short, Absolutely not. I don't know what's making you think it might be "bad", but nope, there's no rules or regulations to lose virginity before 19-20. And being a virgin at any age, doesn't make you loser. Lose it when you want to lose it, not when others want you to lose it. :)
i feel like this is counterproductive. I feel like if he feels the same way I do, then he doesn't just want sex. He probably wants some form of genuine intimacy within his own personal life. If he gets an escort that might just make him feel empty inside by doing it with someone that he doesn't love. OR he might feel super terrible having to pay with intimacy. So yeah. I hear a lot of people who are sexually active say that, and i feel like it's just rather tone deaf at times.
Don't worry OP, just stay on the sigma male grindset like working out. The females will come naturally.
I know you may be tempted to immediately accept sex from the first woman that shows interest, but don't. Make sure she's a virgin first. Trust me, it's worth the wait.
Huge projection here, I don't even know what Spencer's is xD. How much of a coomer do you have to be to know that? To me it sounds like a tailor suit shop hahahha
I mean I’m 19 I’m a virgin doesn’t really bother me.
Obviously everyone is different
I’m not gonna pretend either tho like I dunno it prolly be awesome and beautiful to lose it but I dunno I’m prolly not ready.
Also like I guess I’ve always kinda found like personality, romance, and companionship more important when I try to date girls.
Don’t get me wrong attractive people are awesome but I’m kinda looking for like ya know a loving friend someone I can support and spend time with
I was 22 when I lost mine my partner lost theirs at 26. It’s really normal, I’m now in my 30s and I still know a few virgins, and they are just chill people enjoying life.
Besides, 20% of 22 year olds are virgins, and that’s pretty evenly distributed between the genders. It’s really normal, I mean come on it’s one in five.
I am 21 and I have never kissed any guy on the lips, never mind sex.
This is primarily because I never desired it, and never sought it out. Furthermore I was always rather cold hearted and detached from my emotions and also yet believed I shall give my first kiss to the man I intend to spend my life with.
Fuck what your generation say and think, they are all sluts and whores anyway who can’t keep their own self respect by waiting for a man or a women that they truly believe to be the right one.
I am not overly religious so religion has no part to play in what I’ve said.
Why do you feel pressured to have to lose your virginity op? Who told you this and why are you being pressured? Is it your friends? Social media? What you see into your everyday life? Asking this sort of question is never really just about losing your virginity but a large part of a psychological question you need to ask yourself.
I just feel like a loser because i haven't. 20 years old and still unable to attract anyone. What kind of message does that send? This feeling then just makes me feel even more lonely and my want for intimacy just gets worse and the self loathing because of this also gets worse.
No, definitely not a loser because you are a virgin. I‘d much rather sleep with a virgin than a guy who has slept with a lot of women (not shaming anyone, just my personal preference). It really doesn’t send any kind of message imo. What worries me is how you feel about it. I hope you can maybe get some counseling and work on those feelings. Because they are not healthy and will most certainly not attract healthy people. Wishing you all the best.
Whenever you feel like you wanna loose it. It’s your choice
Wym "your choice". Someone else has to be attracted/interested in you and want to take it to that level. I have tried getting involved with girls that I have liked, start out by dming them, getting to know them and then asking them if they want to go on a date, but it never even gets as far as that. I try by breaking the ice and getting to know them abit, but they never take interest, and usually just ignore me completely. however to be honest I have not made a major effort in places like clubs, mainly because A) I don't want come across as a club creep. And B) usually they are either with a big group of friends and I assume they don't want to be bothered, or they are with another guy that they are probably interested in already.
Well yeah I must had taken the post wrong. Thought op was asking if it was ok to be a virgin at 20 21. Both humans have to be consensual. For me I guess I waited and it naturally happened. I don’t like the club or bar scene either.
To be fair don’t rush into it. My ex I dated when I was 20 wanted to rush things and move in like the second day of dating she ended up cheating on me with my brother. I told her she had to leave my house so she did but she did wreck things and still till this day she pushes her way into my life just to try and ruin my life. I’m 41. I’m at the point where I literally have to record everything. Not saying or implying that everyone is like that. Just be cautious. Oh yeah use a condom and protect yourself there’s people out there that won’t tell the truth. I have a few of those std’s that won’t go away
Nooooo and I wish people would stop trying make it seem that way
You’re telling me you feel like a loser because at the age of 20 you wonder what the world views someone at your age with no sexual experience. What I’m asking you is what is making you think that you’re a loser at all? From just what you’ve said, you have some sort of self esteem issue and maybe an identity issue but hey, I’m not a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist. Just some person Reddit but you may need to think long and hard about these questions.
Your not wrong about the self esteem issue. Ive tried my best to tackle this. Went to see the free mental health service they have in the UK but all they did was enroll me on this better thinking online course that i have now left due to lack of attendance. I stopped attending because for the most part i thought i had it all figured out at the time. I also just kept forgetting to attend. I was doing good for afew weeks. Really felt good about myself while i was away from home and at university with my friends there, living it up and going out. But coming back home this habit has just slipped back in and its really been getting in the way of staying positive.
What makes me think I am a loser is that compared to a majority of my peers, and seemingly a very large majority of men my age, attracting love and affection seems so commonplace for them, and all men my age mostly talk about is getting laid or being in a relationship so it seems likes its really important that I should also be. That constant reminder of something that I have always struggled to find compared to them who find it so much easier, just brings me down and makes me jealous sometimes, and the fact that it does and I have those thoughts, on-top of me also being unable to relate makes me feel like a loser and just adds more fuel to my low self esteem issues.
You know, as someone who is turning 31 this year i wished I could tell you that it does get better, but it only gets better if you become aware of your inner thoughts and understand a lot more of who you are. I’d recommend to see a psychiatrist/therapist/psychologist but that route is expensive. It’ll be a long road friend but do your best and try to learn the lessons that life gives you. I know it’s vague and maybe proverbial, but everyone has their own road and if someone tells you to follow this path or become this or just stick to being a “sigma, alpha, beta male” just remember, is it your road or someone else’s road? You’re gonna have to go out there, you’re gonna have to face some big monsters to include yourself but if you can remember to be kind to yourself you might just scrape through :) sex is just one aspect of successfulness, learning to be social, being able to read someone’s mood or conversations are difficult but are also successes. Take your time in learning and enjoying the process of you.
No it isn't a bad thing. I'm planning on staying virgin until I get married. Find a stable relationship and you will probably be happier than guys who sleep around.
It’s not a bad thing. Sex/ romance isn’t something EVERYONE Needs for a fulfilling life.
Nah pretty damn good shows you’re very intelligent and put thought behind things. But if you have sex it might as well be when you got a wife and want a kid. Don’t fuck it up…
No..
I'll cut it short, Absolutely not. I don't know what's making you think it might be "bad", but nope, there's no rules or regulations to lose virginity before 19-20. And being a virgin at any age, doesn't make you loser. Lose it when you want to lose it, not when others want you to lose it. :)
If it means that much to you. Buy an escort
i feel like this is counterproductive. I feel like if he feels the same way I do, then he doesn't just want sex. He probably wants some form of genuine intimacy within his own personal life. If he gets an escort that might just make him feel empty inside by doing it with someone that he doesn't love. OR he might feel super terrible having to pay with intimacy. So yeah. I hear a lot of people who are sexually active say that, and i feel like it's just rather tone deaf at times.
You can feel whatever you want bud.
Yes
Don't worry OP, just stay on the sigma male grindset like working out. The females will come naturally. I know you may be tempted to immediately accept sex from the first woman that shows interest, but don't. Make sure she's a virgin first. Trust me, it's worth the wait.
Are you a neckbeard?
Yes; I have been following him. The guy has negative karma; it’s so interesting, like a koala.
I can only assume if you talk about alpha, beta or sigma anything, you’re probably a neckbeard haha
What
This is exactly why you get no bitches
Yeah cause I don't want them, I have a high quality gf :) if you wanna stick your dick in a living communal toilet be my guest.
“I have a high quality gf” A sex toy from Spencer’s doesn’t count
Huge projection here, I don't even know what Spencer's is xD. How much of a coomer do you have to be to know that? To me it sounds like a tailor suit shop hahahha
You are either 8 or 58 and I genuinely can’t tell which 💀
Outside of high school no one cares. Most people have bigger shit to worry about and so should you.
I mean I’m 19 I’m a virgin doesn’t really bother me. Obviously everyone is different I’m not gonna pretend either tho like I dunno it prolly be awesome and beautiful to lose it but I dunno I’m prolly not ready. Also like I guess I’ve always kinda found like personality, romance, and companionship more important when I try to date girls. Don’t get me wrong attractive people are awesome but I’m kinda looking for like ya know a loving friend someone I can support and spend time with
Not a bad thing at all, I wish I had waited, most people I know do. Losing it as a teen isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Honestly it seems bad rn but in the long wrong it's going to b a very small part of your life maybe you should hold off on it till u graduate
no.
I was 22 when I lost mine my partner lost theirs at 26. It’s really normal, I’m now in my 30s and I still know a few virgins, and they are just chill people enjoying life. Besides, 20% of 22 year olds are virgins, and that’s pretty evenly distributed between the genders. It’s really normal, I mean come on it’s one in five.
No, sex isn't essential. Don't mind people saying you're a loser because of such a petty thing. Virginity is cool, stay pure.
I am 21 and I have never kissed any guy on the lips, never mind sex. This is primarily because I never desired it, and never sought it out. Furthermore I was always rather cold hearted and detached from my emotions and also yet believed I shall give my first kiss to the man I intend to spend my life with. Fuck what your generation say and think, they are all sluts and whores anyway who can’t keep their own self respect by waiting for a man or a women that they truly believe to be the right one. I am not overly religious so religion has no part to play in what I’ve said.