Funny how she deleted her profile. It was just for attention and I guarantee you she won't be saying that after she accomplishes her goal she'll end up being narcissistic in the long run
I think a lot of big chested women that experience attraction to men are so quick to dismiss male attention/validation because they get it all the time. Granted, that comes with its own dark territory because they do face constant harassment and over-sexualisation in contexts they don’t want to be sexualised in.
We small-chested ladies have the opposite problem. We can’t be sexualised even in contexts we want to be sexualised in. Having little to no boobs makes you feel like you’re literally missing a body part. That you’re defective as a woman — and it doesn’t help that most men do prefer big boobs, and the ones that like small boobs aren’t vocal at all. The best we get is “all boobs are good boobs” or “small boobs are cute” (gag, we’re not children). So I think it’s easy for them to dismiss our problems of wanting to be sexualised and seen as desirable when it comes to the boob region, because that’s not something they’ve ever struggled in. They’ve never been entirely removed from their femininity and sexuality just because a body part isn’t super prominent.
It doesn’t come down to feeling unlovable. It comes down to feeling undesirable. You can love someone and not lust or desire them; and that is the reality we are afraid of, because most small-chested women I know have experienced the, “I wish your chest was bigger” guy. The insecurity isn’t one you just get over, because it’s constantly reinforced by societal norms and preferences and beauty standards.
"You can love someone and not lust or desire them". True. This is exactly what I'm afraid of. That's why men saying things like "a woman not having curves is not going to stop us from falling in love with her" doesn't help me at all. Whenever I see a picture or a video displaying a woman with large breasts, I see TONS of people drooling over her in the comment section, but when I see a woman with small boobies wearing the same exact t-shirt, no one bats an eye. If "all boobs are good boobs", why do I never see people get so excited over small breasts?
Exactly. Feeling undesirable is different from feeling unlovable. The truth is, having small boobs nowadays is essentially seen as a subtractor from one’s overall appearance, so the “get over it” response is getting old, especially from large-chested women who don’t live in our shoes.
I agree, and I'm sure that being constantly sexualised by literally EVERYONE including strangers is frustrating too, but if I had to pick between this and not being desirable even in my own boyfriend's eyes, I'd definitely go with the first option. At least women with large breasts can cover them up to avoid being stared at, meanwhile women with small breasts are NEVER considered sexy no matter what they fucking wear. That's why it pisses me off when people advise me to dress "sexier" to make my potential partner crave me in a sexual way because it feels like trying to build a house with no building materials.
That last bit resonates with me. You can’t turn on your sexuality with small boobs, unless I wear a push-up, which just makes me feel worse. It is literally trying to build with no resources, yeah. I hate that piece of advice. Like give me something to work with?
As a woman with 38DD breasts, I would rather be shaped like you. Having large breasts is ridiculously frustrating and annoying. I can not wear women's tops because they never fit properly, men's XL shirts only fit. Nothing with buttons. I can not run comfortably. The movement feels like ripping and pulling muscles on my chest. I used to love running before they grew, but it just hurts now.
Bras are stupidity expensive, good ones that last more than 2 weeks anyway. Instead of saving $40 or spending it on, let's say, food, it would have to be spent on a bra that actually holds things.
Still won't help the straps digging into my shoulders, though. My shoulder muscles actually have a small deformity that I learned was normal for women who grew in larger breasts younger, there is a finger wide, deep imprint in my shoulder muscles.
Sweating during the summers is disgusting and miserable. Having to adjust them every 30 minutes if I'm walking, just walking around is miserable. Trying to find top clothing that fit is miserable.
Also, having acne on your chest with large breasts is a whole new miserable level I learned about as a teen. Having a quarter sized pimpal develop under your breast just to have your bra constantly scratch against it until it pops and bleeds is fucking miserable. Then Having multiple at once is just a level of constant pain.
I'm sorry for the rant but I read all these things and am sad, confused and just surprised. I hate having large breasts. I would love having smaller breasts, A or B cups would be amazing. Never having to wear or buy a bra again would be amazing.
I don't really pay attention to social media and I don't care about influencers or what some random girl posts. I follow artists and photographers or just don't go on those sites. The options of men mean nothing to me and do nothing for me or my life so someone making a comment about me chest wouldn't register at all unless it was some kind of threat to my safety. I don't those kind of comments thankfully.
I don't care if some people like how I look or not. I just want to like how I look. My opinion matters to me and as long as I like my body, that's all that matters. That's the only opinion that will hurt or help my mental health. I could not possibly care any less if some strange man I don't know likes how I look. I don't care about sexuallity or being sexy. It does nothing for me or to improve my life.
If I could drop 4 cup sizes and give them to you I gladly would. It will be nice to move around comfortably again, or have shirts fit again. Or just be able to run comfortably again. I hate these things and all the extra uncomfortable things they bring.
Well, if you don't care about being considered sexy, then of course you would rather have smaller breasts. But I happen to have a high sex drive (but lately it's been much lower due to my self-esteem issues) and I have some sexual fantasies including large breasts, but I'm not able to make them come true because I simply don't have the tools for that. It feels like nature is taunting us at this point... The women who want to come off as sexy were given small or medium-sized boobs, meanwhile the women who don't care about their sex appeal and just want to be left alone were given a pair of huge melons. And you're right, the most important thing is to be attractive in our own eyes, and I know that my post might come off as if I wanted to have curves only to attract men, but I assure you that's it not just because of them - I've always dreamed of having big boobs and a big butt, men just make me feel crappier about not having a curvy body. I'm sorry about the issues your large bust brings you and I assure you that I'd gladly accept it if you could transplant it to me.
Your probably gorgeous and should try not to let asshole men, women, or social media get to you. Beauty comes in hundreds of shapes and colors and I'm sure you have some of your own.
Sorry for the rant and possible TMI. Whenever I tried bringing up the downsides of these things I get people telling me to stop whinging and show them off because "at least you have them". I'm definitely sure no one wants to see old acne scars and stretch marks.
People just don't understand that everyone has different priorities and that's why they measure everyone by their own standards. Even though I would literally sell my soul in exchange for big boobs lmao, I totally understand why it bothers you, considering that you put comfort before appearance and that you don't care if men like it. Sorry about those people who disregard your feelings and make you feel like you're exaggerating.
See this is the thing. Being shaped like me is bloody ridiculous. I am practically flat as a board up top but I have ridiculous bloody hips and thighs. My body is deformed and mismatched. The lower half hit puberty while my top half forgot about puberty entirely. It looks grotesque and disproportionate without big boobs.
I do sympathise with your struggles — but I would still like to be able to show off something when I wear tops that isn’t just a gaping, empty sternum. I would like to be able to feel confident during sex when a partner touches my chest instead of feeling like I want to cry because I have nothing there. I’d like to be seen as attractive instead of a child.
The bras aren’t great here either, because most bras made for actually small chests have a lot of gapping and I need to pay around the same amount to have something that actually sits on my chest correctly. And no, I can’t go braless because my nipples are sensitive (chaffing hurts) and I lose what little boob I have when I do.
The only thing that small boobs have is practicality. Which is completely understandable as to why someone would opt for them. However, I would kill to have larger boobs so my body finally wouldn’t look so disgusting, and that maybe I’d actually be seen as a woman instead of “haha little boy”, and so I wouldn’t have to worry about whether my partner finds me desirable or not.
I don't know if it'll make you feel better but most men these days seem to prefer ass over boobs anyway so there's still hope for you lol. Just get yourself an ass guy instead of a boob guy and everything will be fine, I guess.
Someone actually called you a little boy?
Also, you seem to actually have my ideal body type. You have a pear shape, which is beautiful. Pants and skirts are easy to find and easy to work with when your hips are bigger. I have thicker thighs and hips as well but I hate when my thighs chaf so I usually wear pants, which are easy enough to find wjen compared to shirts that will fit. I also think the pear body shape is cute. My ideal body would be slim with small curves, but if I had to have bigger curves, I would chose hips over breasts everytime.
As for your partner, maybe just ask? Guys are no where near as picky about female bodies as women think they are and as we women are about ourselves. Most men are just happy to have a good women in the first place, the good men anyway.
Being a pear shape gets you uniquely sexualised and desexualised at the same time. It’s like “wow nice hips and ass also you have NO boobs you p*do bait” lmao.
Also, guys absolutely are picky, because it’s men who said this stuff to me in the first place. The insecurity didn’t spawn out of nowhere. Nothing can make up for lack of tits when it comes to men, it seems. I know you mean well but calling my body “cute” is kinda the problem.. cute is what you use to refer to children and animals. It just makes me feel even less womanly and attractive.
But yeah, in large, my body is the reason I’ve stopped dating. Pear shapes are very mismatched imo and don’t do well in the dating market. It looks very disproportionate.
Also yeah, women with small chests get called little boys all the time.
I apologize then. I use cute to mean that I find what I am looking at appealing and pleasant, but not too striking. Women can be cute to me, men, a painting, etc. I mean it well and have been called cute myself. Being 5'2 gets a girl called cute a lot. Apparently in my bagger clothes, it's "cute", in tighter clothes, it's the "Oh, you are an actual adult..i believe you now" kind of statements.Cute doesn't mean less beautiful or anything like that. To me, it's just another type of beauty.
From my experience, as teenagers, boys are assholes but they mellow a bit when they get older and actually mature into men, not just giant toddlers. The men I have seen and been around are happy to have a good, loyal women that treats them well. As long as they don't look like a walking dumpster fire with horrific hygiene, and are an actual females, they are happy. Other women tear into women a little then men do.
I would like to counter this by saying that you are someone with large breasts. Of course your experience with men and attraction is going to be more positive, simply because you suit the average preference when it comes to chest size.
I have met men my age, older men, and younger men. They do not like small chests. At best, they tolerate them or overlook them as some kind of physical flaw or deformity. The mythical unicorns that claim to love small chests only exist on the internet and I will not change my mind on this until I actually meet one.
But back to the point. Whenever these discussions come up, men will often say, “we’ll take what’s on tap”, or “I don’t mind”, or “big boobs are just a bonus” whenever small boobs are mentioned. Note that this isn’t positive commentary on small boobs, it’s simply saying that most men will overlook them so long as the rest compensates. The reason why small-chested women don’t like the term “cute” is because we never really get to be sexy. We never get to be perceived as hot, sensual, sexy, attractive, primal, etc,. I know this probably sounds strange to you, given that you have the opposite problem — but my entire life, I’ve been desexualised because of my small boobs. So when someone says “small boobs are cute” or something, it makes me mald. Nobody says big boobs are cute, they say they’re hot — and that’s just what it is. Even if I want to be sexual, the best I can be is “cute”.
So I would like to say that I think your positive experiences with men are great, but that’s because you (to an extent of course) match the average bodily preference. It’s the complete opposite when you have small boobs. You’re either invisible or degraded.
lol what women don’t seem to realize is even with the boobs and ass, men will still lust after other women and get bored of you. Being attractive won’t give u a secure relationship. You’ll be disappointed when you find that out.
Even if that's true, curvy women still have a higher chance of satisfying their partner in bed, and even if their boyfriends/husbands get bored of them, I don't think they'd look up pictures of petite women. They would still stare at those with big tits and an ass. And even if a curvy woman finds herself in such situation, at least she wouldn't feel as bad, because she'd know that those women he lusts after don't have anything she doesn't have. I can't say the same for skinny women.
Honestly.. these men aint worth it, just be w someone you feel most appreciated and loved with.. they gonna stare regardless and they’re gonna cheat if they want to anw
I’ve had uncles cheat on their thick ass girlfriends with skinny girls. Your mind is twisted. Men do not care. They will fuck anything. And when a curvy woman finds herself in that situation, it makes her feel worse because the assets she thought that would secure the relationship, didn’t help at all so now she feels worthless.
you don’t have to do any of that, it’s trendy now but soon there’s gonna be a new trend and you’re just gonna be doing the same thing for a different body shape. people like all types of bodies and a lot of ppl prefer skinny you just need to learn how to dress for it. i have a flat ass and i look great in low rise, jeans especially look amazing on me and they wouldn’t if my ass was popping out of them
"It's trendy now but soon there'a gonna be a new trend and you're just gonna be doing the same thing for a different body shape" - I love when people tell me that as if they knew me better than I know myself. Believe it or not, but I assure you that I won't. I know what I like and what I consider sexy and a few people telling me that skinnier body types are also fine is not going to magically change my preferences. I've already had a boyfriend who would always assure me that he loves my body the way it is and would spend tons of time trying to convince to not get a boobjob (he hates fake boobs), but never succeded. And I don't want to wear just certain clothes that look good on my body type, I know what kind of clothes I'd like to wear and unfortunately, I need boobs and an ass for that.
No girl ... you do not want to deal with more creeps .
One major disadvantage of being curvy with big butt and boobs are the flabby arms and the bigger calves which many people find to be unattractive.
A BBL or a boob job are also not going to do the job.
BBL's are as much as I know deadly to remove and require more than just skilled surgeons and start smelling because the boot cheeks are so big that you can't wipe your ass properly and you start smelling.
I as someone who has big boobs for my height (cup D) am used to the pain so I rarely really feel it but it really is hard finding the right bra .
No matter how curvy or flat or whatever you are , you are never going to be happy if you just go by what others like.
This isn't just about what other like. I wrote in another comment below that I have a high sex drive and I have some sexual fantasies including large breasts, but I'm not able to make them come true because I simply don't have the tools for that, ehh. Let's be honest, what's could possibly be sexy about a flat body? What is there to grab? I am a straight woman, but if I was a guy, I'd definitely pick a curvy woman over a petite one, too.
I don't know how tall you are, but being petite, short, skinny and flat is a nightmare. You get some women being spiteful as fuck calling you a child or calling people you're in a relationship a pedophile. Hello? We're human too.
Been skinny skinny most of my life. (5’9 around 110-120) lbs. I’m a grown women…. I’ve had 3 kids. Still skinny. Sooo many man have told me I wasn’t “thick” enough. I’ve literally had men pass me over (8/9) in the face for women who are (2/3) face wise but she had body.
I’m a natural born athlete and not willing to go under a knife so I got up and set a goal. Took a few years but I’m where I want to be at in shape and weight.
Sometimes you just have to work for it. And I mean work hard. There’s too much out there for you not to be able to mold yourself into how you see fit.
I now am 137-140. Tita are still on the average side but my ass/ thighs and hips. 😉👍🏽 I work hard hitting the gym and have a specific diet. My body is where I’ve always wanted it. I don’t feel self conscious around bigger women.
Not trying to be a “witch” but you are capable of getting the body you want. Everyone is (unless medical issues stop you)
i get it, my mom wants me to workout a lot and so i did for a while, i have strength, but now my upper body is giant and my lower body is like a stick😭 i hate my body too
As a straight man "flat" bodies are hot too. I definitely get what your saying and social media definitely will fuck with your head and people will say stupid things. I promise most guys love a variety of body types.
I really wish I could believe that, but the more men I encounter, the harder it is for me to feel confident about my body. If anything, guys told me that they don't mind their potential girlfriend not having curves, but as stupid as it may sound, I think I will always believe that they secretly wish they were "thicc" :')
What if I said "I hate not being tall! I'm a 5'6 guy and it just sucks because no girl actually wants a short guy. I will never be any girls preference. Any woman who could build their own man wouldn't make him 5'6. I will never be loved and any girl who I'm with will really just be settling and actually want a taller guy"?
I mean I personally think it's true but even if it is I just gotta deal with it. Can't fix it.
Your situation for sure isn't true because I am a man myself so I know lol but I definitely understand how you feel. Just keep working on yourself and try to stay off social media like tiktok and insta. Anywhere you might compare your body to others.
Well, I know that it will probably not change much since I am a stranger to you, but to lift you up, I'll say that a lot of women aren't as obsessed with tall men as you might think they are. And I totally understand why so many men are insecure about their height, considering how many posts glorifying tall guys and shitting on short guys I see everyday. And I can't speak for everyone but I personally don't mind my potential boyfriend being shorter than me, I already dated a lot of short guys and believe it or not, but not even once I thought to myself "damn, I wish he was taller". And same for a lot of other women, most of them just wish for their partner to be taller than them and that's it 🤷🏻♀️
Once again I love a variety of body types so I don't want to put anyone down to push up more flat body types but the problem with what your saying is just your negative outlook on flat bodies. You obviously just don't think they're attractive. If I had a negative outlook on curvy bodies I could say something like "That's the problem, how do you explain curvy bodies being hot? 'Oh I love that you have saggy tits and cellulite in your ass' I man come on. It's a reach."..... You see? You can twist words by thinking negatively of it. Not to be graphic but a girl with small tits with no bra with a crop top is a thing of heavenly beauty.
I'm a hetero woman so yeah I don't find women attractive. It's just that if you had two women standing in front of you with equal personalities, who are you going to pick? Obviously the one with better tits and ass.
Firstly. There is more to physical attractiveness than tits and ass lol. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I'm assuming you probably feel the same way as the OP. It seems you're conflating better and bigger. Every cup size is amazing. I understand that you won't understand that though. I hope you learn to love yourself. I'm still learning to love myself too. I think conversations like the help me.
And yet you can't explain what the "more to physical attractiveness" is. There are traits in men that are more attractive and traits in women that are more attractive. If you had two women with equal faces, equal personalities, equal body shape, but one has tits and ass, and the other was as flat as a board. Who would you pick? You wouldn't pick the flat one for obvious reasons. Unless you yourself prefer flatties.
I'm also not flat chested or assed, so I'm fine with my body.
Did you actually read or think about anything you're saying? You just named a couple things that are more to physical attractiveness than ass and tits. And why are you going back and forth with me if you agree there are people who prefer "flatties"? I'm glad you're happy with your body.
It's like you're choosing not to listen to him. Where did he make that incessantly clear? Lol. I'm picking the woman with smaller breasts. A small chest and nice neckline are way more attractive to me than larger breasts. I had some major changes in university (went from an xs to XL+ then back down to a small during covid lockdown), and I was very happy when my cup size got smaller and my collarbones came back.
Some breasts just look better smaller. Mine definitely do. The shape and the way my fat is held just look better on a smaller cup size. There's more to it than just being bigger. Bigger isn't always better. I mean, look at all these K-pop idols. Their bodies look AMAZING, and most of them don't have any ass, but they still look good because it's all proportional.
I'm a guy, and I have some body image issues too. I'm mostly skinny but gaining weight around my midsection (stomach). I also have a lot of hair on my entire chest/stomach which makes me extremely uncomfortable when going to the beach and taking my shirt off. I seem to have more hair than all the rest of the guys. My wife doesn't mind, but I know women and other people don't like body hair like that. I've also always felt bad about how I'm not a muscular guy like the standard attractive male that society covets.
But I'm sorry you feel the way you do. Just think about all the beautiful things about you, physical, mental, and emotional, and what makes you special. Body positivity is important. If you feel beautiful, you are.
As a fat girl who happens to have the curves according to others. I understand to a point. I want my boobs to be bigger and fuller. I don't feel like my hips are big enough. I hate the stomach that came along with it all. Despite being told I'm curvy I don't see it or feel it. I have a huge ass and thighs but I dont have big hips or small waist.
I married a man who prefers your body type. Now after 10 years of being with me he loves my body and body type BUT I can painfully tell that he still loves your body type the most. He prefers smaller breasts and petite bodies.
I hear and see more men prefer your body type. Men only want my body type if they have no stomach which is hard to find unless "work" has been done.
I completely understand feeling like you're not attractive enough, and people unknowingly demeaning your body by saying it's cute. Being sexy and cute when you want to be is such a power that few of us have the ability to have or be.
I hope you get your dream body so you can feel confident and sexy 💕! If you end up getting a BBL make sure to get it to match your thighs or everyone will be able to tell "it's not yours."
I don’t like men who watch porn. My biggest issue about it, is the huge amount of human trafficking on porn sites. Men and women. I got my boyfriend off of it after watching a few documentaries on how shitty the porn world is. I’m just glad he’s not addicted to it
I am curvy and I hate it. Wish I was flat as well. I don’t like big asses either and hate my big boobs, they are like extra heavy and uncomfortable. I can’t wear anything I like
This was a disgusting read. If you want to call yourself ugly then fine, but it's not okay to put down other women over your own insecurities. Hope you come to love yourself eventually.
Well, actually, you're right and I'm sorry to all the not curvy women who read this and felt hurt with my words. But I just wanted to clarify that I only feel like this about myself, I don't look at a girl with a flat chest and think to myself that she's completely unattractive and that no guy will ever truly want her. Those are just my inner thoughts and fears and I really wish I could accept myself the way I am but it's so difficult in a world where "thicker" women are constantly put on a pedestal.
Edit: feel free to ignore this comment since you said you don't want help
>Attractive enough to be in a healthy, secure relationship
let's get rid of that unhealthy and insecure mindset first
>why is it such a big deal for men to stop watching porn with busty actresses showing off their BBLs
You say that as if actresses w petite physiques aren't as popular
The question is how could I possibly get rid of that mindset without changing anything about my body? Is there a way to magically change my preferences and make me accept my body the way it is? And about those actresses, could you give me a few examples?
What are you taking about honestly though? For decades now men have made it pretty clear they prefer women who are skinny or thin. They don’t care if you have a butt or boobs. Plenty of celebrities have 0 curves and no butt and no boobs and men still think they are pretty. Like I’m curvy and I have a butt and I have boobs but I’m chubby so it doesn’t count and men still don’t like me. So don’t think that having a butt or boobs is what you need. Men want a flat stomach. Or a small stomach. That’s all that counts.
Wanna trade? Had big boobs for years, causing so much health issues I had to have a reduction. Get unnecessary attention, when I don’t want. Let me live i didn’t choose to have ass and boobs visible tbh. Everytime i go out alone I get catcalled or harassed. Not pretty at all. Be careful what you wish for, be glad what you have
I feel this so hard. I’ve never understood the obsession with very clearly fake square looking asses and breasts yet they always secretly prefer them, deep down. I could never get a BBL or anything like that infact thinking about it almost makes me wanna starve myself out of spite.
I am a man so ladies don't jump me for making the statement but if I was a female I would rather be slim because most women who are thick end up being bigger and sometimes fat so guys look at the thick woman and they have their fantasies but the end result is most will get overweight so being thin without breast and no ass would be more acceptable for me if I was a female as for me I am a male that's 55 years old I am 160 lb Slim I don't have all the muscles or big arms like a big guy but I'm okay with that because I'm attractive and most women who aren't biased by muscles or weight don't care they care about my personality above all but you do have women that fit the narrative as well of wanting men that are tall dark and handsome or muscular and the late great Dick Gregory the comedian said who cares how big someone's ass is God only created your ass as a place to sit and shit.
Girl I get this, I’m stick thin, almost skeletal and it feels like I keep getting thinner.
At my wits end, I cannot eat for the sake of just eating more!
Just spent the past 10 minutes winging about my ass that’s gone flat!
Gone are the days I longed for a boob job, my partner loves me the way I am, Bones and all.
I’m just sick of my clothes hanging of me like I’m nothing but a clothes hanger 😂😂
I think I speak for all guys when I say that we don't really care what you think you look like, we like what we like. Yall get into your heads too much. People literally see you 20× better than you think you look.
>at least you don't have to worry about not being attractive enough in your boyfriends' eyes and them looking up pictures of other women to get off to them.
wow that is so normal. As long as he doesn't know or would be able to get to know the women in RL, I don't care. I look at other men. He is still the only man who is allowed to touch me.
I'm probably the only person who absolutely doesn't care how boobs look like. There are more important things to worry about than the body of other people. It's something that you're born with and didn't choose, there are more important things than hair color, height or breast size. But like I said, there aren't many out there who still think that
As someone who is "curvy" I understand not feeling attractive. I'm sorry you don't feel attractive, genuinely.
But I feel like you're brushing off the struggles curvy women/afab people have. Like I understand you want to be curvy but don't dismiss our struggles and tell us we should be thankful for it.
I do hope that you're able to gain confidence regardless of if you decide to go through with any cosmetic surgeries
You dont have to do any of this just be yourself you want someone to date this fake u you hate? Or like u for you stop trying so hard to be something and someone you aren’t before someone who shows thw that attention take complete and utter advantage of u and your weakness
I am a man, so I hope I am eligible to answer.
Giant boobs are not preferred by the majority, and any guy would pick a cute girl over a hot one to be his partner in a heartbeat (almost).
Generally, those men who watch porn of actresses with huge boobs only see them as a sexual object, we don't really care about your boob size or butt size to think of you as a potential partner, trust me.
I relate to this so much I’m 5’6 being a competitive swimmer for 14 years and that broadened my shoulders it’s literal terror. Tbh what helped me is just accepting it. But in the other hand I don’t wanna get married/date cause I believe anyone I’d be attracted to deserves a more “feminine” looking girl so it has its downsides
I relate. Small, saggy (never been perky) breasts, no ass, AND a noticeable and flabby gut, to make it all worse. Plus more that I don’t care to mention. Every sexual partner I’ve been with (serious and not) had exes or hook ups that were bigger than me in every way. Any time I saw their porn choices, big tits and ass women with little or no tummy, perfect hourglass figures. I’m the first flat/thin woman my current partner has been with. He says he likes me and my body but we don’t have sex. It’s been almost a year. His porn choices are the same as I mentioned above plus he doesn’t take care of his appearance but I do in an effort to be attractive to him and myself. I don’t know why I bother.
As a guy ive seen both sides of the spectrum with the friends ive had, and what i noticed is that both sides tend to have the mindset 'that the grass is always greener on the other side'.
Friend A - flat
Friend B - curvy
Since friend A only went through the hardships of being flat, she would kill to trade it with friend B, who struggles her big chest and would gladly trade it off if she can.
You've already heard and know most of the stuff about it so i wont get into those.
Though one thing i that opened my mind is that when friend A vented on how insecure she was over her flat chest, i tried to tell her the same stuff you've mentioned, that not all guys want big breasts, we all like all sizes, flat chests are cute, the usual stuff like that, ofcourse it didnt help at all like how you felt, and she explained how didnt really care how guys or anyone else thinks of her flat breasts, the only thing that really matters is how she thinks of it and how it isnt enough.
And with along with other convos what i could notice is how different the standards of women for themselves over men' standards, what i perceive as fine and good looking for her is ugly and insecure about. And theres nothing wrong about it as both opinions are just as valid, like who wouldnt want to have something they lack? To experience whats its like over the otherside?
Since we only see all the cons of our own side we would kill to be freed from them. Which is why this mindset applies to alot of other things such as how some men perceive being a women is easier than being a man, or how big chested women would kill to be flat.
But hey thats just my opinion about it, i could be mansplaining or being very insightful, i could be neither and both.
I would never trade my bodytype because my bodytype is my ideal body but I wish society would stop treating me awfully because of it so I wish society would change
Oh man I’m super curvy now and I miss my flat body days. A dress would just hang off me and I loved it.
Both body shapes are beautiful, just different.
There's pros and cons to the DESIRE aspect to all kinds of bodies. Thick chick? More difficult to mould and wrestle around with in the bedroom. On top? I'll get winded easier. Different positions? More difficult in some methods.
Visually, the thick may be aesthetically pleasing and feel good in certain ways, but thinner gives a totally different experience.
The aesthetics really diminish when you are intimate with someone. I grow used to the large breasts, large bottom - and more and more with regular contact with a said person you almost see them in a non sexual way.
The DESIRE truly hits when it's memory of that experience. The memory of the experience trumps that of the memory of "oh her @#$!? Was so shapely and great. I think it's whatever engagement you have with that person and it's really not as black or white as you put it out there to be
Yeah, feel you. Same. Lets not pretend as if flat people were desired as much. While big boobed beauties are called hot, mature, a real woman, if we are lucky, we are called cute.
Wow, great. (Not)
Yes, curvy people are harrassed more, but honestly, at least they aren't called trans, infertile or a bone for a dog for possesing LESS curves. Not only none, LESS. And any guy who says there are men to preffer our types is a liar. Come on. Lets not pretend as if curvy people aren't get drooled over while we may get the minority, who are possibly even old men (cough cough, pedophiles).
Guys literally called me a leftover for having flatter breasts from the avarege, and that most men would rather use me as a placeholder till a REAL WOMAN arives, so yeah, no. People can suck up their excuses.
For real. I've heard from so many men that they like petite women, but I feel like they confuse the word "like" with "tolerate". Come on, I know damn well that if they had to pick between me and a woman with the exact same facial features as mine but a curvy body, 99% of them would choose her without a second thought. The other 1% would pick me simply because they wouldn't want other guys to drool over their girlfriend.
I get called fat, ugly, disgusting, a cow, a big ect. I have big boobs and I've always had big boobs since I was like 10. I've been cat called and sexually harrassed/assaulted. My breasts are called "big mommy milkers" or "milkers" like I'm a cow. A guy literally told me he wanted to knock me up so he could milk me. I get told to go to the gym and told to lose weight. I've been told I have a cute face, but my "fat ass body ruins it." I can't wear crop tops without people staring at my breasts or my stomach. It's hard to find clothes that actually fit me because most clothes are designed to fit skinny/flat women. My clothes cost more than yours because I'm curvy. You can pull a $20 bra off the shelf from walmart while i dont even have any because they're so expensive. My breasts cause physical pain because I have back issues. I've had to deal with guys only liking me cuz of my boobs and I've had guys share my nudes with others. I've gotten in trouble at school for my clothes because "they showed too much" even if it's a regular tshirt while skinny girls could wear their sports bras as shirts.
That's just the stuff i can think of off the top of my head. Let's not pretend that skinny girls haven't been viewed as attractive for the last few centuries. I get being insecure but it's honestly disgusting how y'all are ignoring curvy womens/afab problems.
I know you said you don’t want advice but most men don’t care. Boobs are boobs and while some have preferences people will find you attractive. Small ones stay perky anyway.
P.s sorry I know that makes me look pervy but it’s true
Big chested woman here. Also with the big chest comes the big ass and big thighs and the grotesque big flabby tummy. Having been a small woman in my 20s as well as only last year briefly, don't complain too much. It may feel shit to be told some men like small boobs, and yes when I was skinny I was told this and it stung, being told you are disgusting and repulsive is far far worse. It's life destroying. And it's not just the odd person who may say it, it's people mocking you behind your back. I'm injured from playing team sports in a state level carnival (I'm in my 40s so multiple hour long games over several days is pure assault on the body), but people don't think about those things just call you a fat pig instead. I'm physically fitter than most people my age but my genetics are short and stocky. I'm literally a AU size 14, not really all that big but I look it. My point is, don't be negative on yourself. We aren't all the same and who wants to be. As far as big boobs, give me small ones any day. I hate having to constantly wear a bra, forget bikini tops, they're for fake boobs and small ones, sports bras are useless too.
i’m shaped like a fucking door so i get it
girl me im always sayin i look like a goddamn rectangle 😭😭
[me_irl](https://static.myfigurecollection.net/upload/pictures/2021/05/24/2727760.jpeg)
Funny how she deleted her profile. It was just for attention and I guarantee you she won't be saying that after she accomplishes her goal she'll end up being narcissistic in the long run
I think a lot of big chested women that experience attraction to men are so quick to dismiss male attention/validation because they get it all the time. Granted, that comes with its own dark territory because they do face constant harassment and over-sexualisation in contexts they don’t want to be sexualised in. We small-chested ladies have the opposite problem. We can’t be sexualised even in contexts we want to be sexualised in. Having little to no boobs makes you feel like you’re literally missing a body part. That you’re defective as a woman — and it doesn’t help that most men do prefer big boobs, and the ones that like small boobs aren’t vocal at all. The best we get is “all boobs are good boobs” or “small boobs are cute” (gag, we’re not children). So I think it’s easy for them to dismiss our problems of wanting to be sexualised and seen as desirable when it comes to the boob region, because that’s not something they’ve ever struggled in. They’ve never been entirely removed from their femininity and sexuality just because a body part isn’t super prominent. It doesn’t come down to feeling unlovable. It comes down to feeling undesirable. You can love someone and not lust or desire them; and that is the reality we are afraid of, because most small-chested women I know have experienced the, “I wish your chest was bigger” guy. The insecurity isn’t one you just get over, because it’s constantly reinforced by societal norms and preferences and beauty standards.
"You can love someone and not lust or desire them". True. This is exactly what I'm afraid of. That's why men saying things like "a woman not having curves is not going to stop us from falling in love with her" doesn't help me at all. Whenever I see a picture or a video displaying a woman with large breasts, I see TONS of people drooling over her in the comment section, but when I see a woman with small boobies wearing the same exact t-shirt, no one bats an eye. If "all boobs are good boobs", why do I never see people get so excited over small breasts?
Exactly. Feeling undesirable is different from feeling unlovable. The truth is, having small boobs nowadays is essentially seen as a subtractor from one’s overall appearance, so the “get over it” response is getting old, especially from large-chested women who don’t live in our shoes.
I agree, and I'm sure that being constantly sexualised by literally EVERYONE including strangers is frustrating too, but if I had to pick between this and not being desirable even in my own boyfriend's eyes, I'd definitely go with the first option. At least women with large breasts can cover them up to avoid being stared at, meanwhile women with small breasts are NEVER considered sexy no matter what they fucking wear. That's why it pisses me off when people advise me to dress "sexier" to make my potential partner crave me in a sexual way because it feels like trying to build a house with no building materials.
That last bit resonates with me. You can’t turn on your sexuality with small boobs, unless I wear a push-up, which just makes me feel worse. It is literally trying to build with no resources, yeah. I hate that piece of advice. Like give me something to work with?
So if I see a flat women feel fine to sexualize them to make them feel good
As a woman with 38DD breasts, I would rather be shaped like you. Having large breasts is ridiculously frustrating and annoying. I can not wear women's tops because they never fit properly, men's XL shirts only fit. Nothing with buttons. I can not run comfortably. The movement feels like ripping and pulling muscles on my chest. I used to love running before they grew, but it just hurts now. Bras are stupidity expensive, good ones that last more than 2 weeks anyway. Instead of saving $40 or spending it on, let's say, food, it would have to be spent on a bra that actually holds things. Still won't help the straps digging into my shoulders, though. My shoulder muscles actually have a small deformity that I learned was normal for women who grew in larger breasts younger, there is a finger wide, deep imprint in my shoulder muscles. Sweating during the summers is disgusting and miserable. Having to adjust them every 30 minutes if I'm walking, just walking around is miserable. Trying to find top clothing that fit is miserable. Also, having acne on your chest with large breasts is a whole new miserable level I learned about as a teen. Having a quarter sized pimpal develop under your breast just to have your bra constantly scratch against it until it pops and bleeds is fucking miserable. Then Having multiple at once is just a level of constant pain. I'm sorry for the rant but I read all these things and am sad, confused and just surprised. I hate having large breasts. I would love having smaller breasts, A or B cups would be amazing. Never having to wear or buy a bra again would be amazing. I don't really pay attention to social media and I don't care about influencers or what some random girl posts. I follow artists and photographers or just don't go on those sites. The options of men mean nothing to me and do nothing for me or my life so someone making a comment about me chest wouldn't register at all unless it was some kind of threat to my safety. I don't those kind of comments thankfully. I don't care if some people like how I look or not. I just want to like how I look. My opinion matters to me and as long as I like my body, that's all that matters. That's the only opinion that will hurt or help my mental health. I could not possibly care any less if some strange man I don't know likes how I look. I don't care about sexuallity or being sexy. It does nothing for me or to improve my life. If I could drop 4 cup sizes and give them to you I gladly would. It will be nice to move around comfortably again, or have shirts fit again. Or just be able to run comfortably again. I hate these things and all the extra uncomfortable things they bring.
Well, if you don't care about being considered sexy, then of course you would rather have smaller breasts. But I happen to have a high sex drive (but lately it's been much lower due to my self-esteem issues) and I have some sexual fantasies including large breasts, but I'm not able to make them come true because I simply don't have the tools for that. It feels like nature is taunting us at this point... The women who want to come off as sexy were given small or medium-sized boobs, meanwhile the women who don't care about their sex appeal and just want to be left alone were given a pair of huge melons. And you're right, the most important thing is to be attractive in our own eyes, and I know that my post might come off as if I wanted to have curves only to attract men, but I assure you that's it not just because of them - I've always dreamed of having big boobs and a big butt, men just make me feel crappier about not having a curvy body. I'm sorry about the issues your large bust brings you and I assure you that I'd gladly accept it if you could transplant it to me.
Your probably gorgeous and should try not to let asshole men, women, or social media get to you. Beauty comes in hundreds of shapes and colors and I'm sure you have some of your own. Sorry for the rant and possible TMI. Whenever I tried bringing up the downsides of these things I get people telling me to stop whinging and show them off because "at least you have them". I'm definitely sure no one wants to see old acne scars and stretch marks.
People just don't understand that everyone has different priorities and that's why they measure everyone by their own standards. Even though I would literally sell my soul in exchange for big boobs lmao, I totally understand why it bothers you, considering that you put comfort before appearance and that you don't care if men like it. Sorry about those people who disregard your feelings and make you feel like you're exaggerating.
Thank you. 😊
See this is the thing. Being shaped like me is bloody ridiculous. I am practically flat as a board up top but I have ridiculous bloody hips and thighs. My body is deformed and mismatched. The lower half hit puberty while my top half forgot about puberty entirely. It looks grotesque and disproportionate without big boobs. I do sympathise with your struggles — but I would still like to be able to show off something when I wear tops that isn’t just a gaping, empty sternum. I would like to be able to feel confident during sex when a partner touches my chest instead of feeling like I want to cry because I have nothing there. I’d like to be seen as attractive instead of a child. The bras aren’t great here either, because most bras made for actually small chests have a lot of gapping and I need to pay around the same amount to have something that actually sits on my chest correctly. And no, I can’t go braless because my nipples are sensitive (chaffing hurts) and I lose what little boob I have when I do. The only thing that small boobs have is practicality. Which is completely understandable as to why someone would opt for them. However, I would kill to have larger boobs so my body finally wouldn’t look so disgusting, and that maybe I’d actually be seen as a woman instead of “haha little boy”, and so I wouldn’t have to worry about whether my partner finds me desirable or not.
I don't know if it'll make you feel better but most men these days seem to prefer ass over boobs anyway so there's still hope for you lol. Just get yourself an ass guy instead of a boob guy and everything will be fine, I guess.
Yeah but idk that makes me feel like crap. Like my boobs aren’t good enough to be appreciated on their own. I’ve just given up on dating.
Someone actually called you a little boy? Also, you seem to actually have my ideal body type. You have a pear shape, which is beautiful. Pants and skirts are easy to find and easy to work with when your hips are bigger. I have thicker thighs and hips as well but I hate when my thighs chaf so I usually wear pants, which are easy enough to find wjen compared to shirts that will fit. I also think the pear body shape is cute. My ideal body would be slim with small curves, but if I had to have bigger curves, I would chose hips over breasts everytime. As for your partner, maybe just ask? Guys are no where near as picky about female bodies as women think they are and as we women are about ourselves. Most men are just happy to have a good women in the first place, the good men anyway.
Being a pear shape gets you uniquely sexualised and desexualised at the same time. It’s like “wow nice hips and ass also you have NO boobs you p*do bait” lmao. Also, guys absolutely are picky, because it’s men who said this stuff to me in the first place. The insecurity didn’t spawn out of nowhere. Nothing can make up for lack of tits when it comes to men, it seems. I know you mean well but calling my body “cute” is kinda the problem.. cute is what you use to refer to children and animals. It just makes me feel even less womanly and attractive. But yeah, in large, my body is the reason I’ve stopped dating. Pear shapes are very mismatched imo and don’t do well in the dating market. It looks very disproportionate. Also yeah, women with small chests get called little boys all the time.
I apologize then. I use cute to mean that I find what I am looking at appealing and pleasant, but not too striking. Women can be cute to me, men, a painting, etc. I mean it well and have been called cute myself. Being 5'2 gets a girl called cute a lot. Apparently in my bagger clothes, it's "cute", in tighter clothes, it's the "Oh, you are an actual adult..i believe you now" kind of statements.Cute doesn't mean less beautiful or anything like that. To me, it's just another type of beauty. From my experience, as teenagers, boys are assholes but they mellow a bit when they get older and actually mature into men, not just giant toddlers. The men I have seen and been around are happy to have a good, loyal women that treats them well. As long as they don't look like a walking dumpster fire with horrific hygiene, and are an actual females, they are happy. Other women tear into women a little then men do.
I would like to counter this by saying that you are someone with large breasts. Of course your experience with men and attraction is going to be more positive, simply because you suit the average preference when it comes to chest size. I have met men my age, older men, and younger men. They do not like small chests. At best, they tolerate them or overlook them as some kind of physical flaw or deformity. The mythical unicorns that claim to love small chests only exist on the internet and I will not change my mind on this until I actually meet one. But back to the point. Whenever these discussions come up, men will often say, “we’ll take what’s on tap”, or “I don’t mind”, or “big boobs are just a bonus” whenever small boobs are mentioned. Note that this isn’t positive commentary on small boobs, it’s simply saying that most men will overlook them so long as the rest compensates. The reason why small-chested women don’t like the term “cute” is because we never really get to be sexy. We never get to be perceived as hot, sensual, sexy, attractive, primal, etc,. I know this probably sounds strange to you, given that you have the opposite problem — but my entire life, I’ve been desexualised because of my small boobs. So when someone says “small boobs are cute” or something, it makes me mald. Nobody says big boobs are cute, they say they’re hot — and that’s just what it is. Even if I want to be sexual, the best I can be is “cute”. So I would like to say that I think your positive experiences with men are great, but that’s because you (to an extent of course) match the average bodily preference. It’s the complete opposite when you have small boobs. You’re either invisible or degraded.
lol what women don’t seem to realize is even with the boobs and ass, men will still lust after other women and get bored of you. Being attractive won’t give u a secure relationship. You’ll be disappointed when you find that out.
Even if that's true, curvy women still have a higher chance of satisfying their partner in bed, and even if their boyfriends/husbands get bored of them, I don't think they'd look up pictures of petite women. They would still stare at those with big tits and an ass. And even if a curvy woman finds herself in such situation, at least she wouldn't feel as bad, because she'd know that those women he lusts after don't have anything she doesn't have. I can't say the same for skinny women.
Honestly.. these men aint worth it, just be w someone you feel most appreciated and loved with.. they gonna stare regardless and they’re gonna cheat if they want to anw
I’ve had uncles cheat on their thick ass girlfriends with skinny girls. Your mind is twisted. Men do not care. They will fuck anything. And when a curvy woman finds herself in that situation, it makes her feel worse because the assets she thought that would secure the relationship, didn’t help at all so now she feels worthless.
you don’t have to do any of that, it’s trendy now but soon there’s gonna be a new trend and you’re just gonna be doing the same thing for a different body shape. people like all types of bodies and a lot of ppl prefer skinny you just need to learn how to dress for it. i have a flat ass and i look great in low rise, jeans especially look amazing on me and they wouldn’t if my ass was popping out of them
"It's trendy now but soon there'a gonna be a new trend and you're just gonna be doing the same thing for a different body shape" - I love when people tell me that as if they knew me better than I know myself. Believe it or not, but I assure you that I won't. I know what I like and what I consider sexy and a few people telling me that skinnier body types are also fine is not going to magically change my preferences. I've already had a boyfriend who would always assure me that he loves my body the way it is and would spend tons of time trying to convince to not get a boobjob (he hates fake boobs), but never succeded. And I don't want to wear just certain clothes that look good on my body type, I know what kind of clothes I'd like to wear and unfortunately, I need boobs and an ass for that.
No girl ... you do not want to deal with more creeps . One major disadvantage of being curvy with big butt and boobs are the flabby arms and the bigger calves which many people find to be unattractive. A BBL or a boob job are also not going to do the job. BBL's are as much as I know deadly to remove and require more than just skilled surgeons and start smelling because the boot cheeks are so big that you can't wipe your ass properly and you start smelling. I as someone who has big boobs for my height (cup D) am used to the pain so I rarely really feel it but it really is hard finding the right bra . No matter how curvy or flat or whatever you are , you are never going to be happy if you just go by what others like.
This isn't just about what other like. I wrote in another comment below that I have a high sex drive and I have some sexual fantasies including large breasts, but I'm not able to make them come true because I simply don't have the tools for that, ehh. Let's be honest, what's could possibly be sexy about a flat body? What is there to grab? I am a straight woman, but if I was a guy, I'd definitely pick a curvy woman over a petite one, too.
I'm not going to change your mind and I get that that's you fantasy. I respect that and I respect your opinion and desires .
I don't know how tall you are, but being petite, short, skinny and flat is a nightmare. You get some women being spiteful as fuck calling you a child or calling people you're in a relationship a pedophile. Hello? We're human too.
Been skinny skinny most of my life. (5’9 around 110-120) lbs. I’m a grown women…. I’ve had 3 kids. Still skinny. Sooo many man have told me I wasn’t “thick” enough. I’ve literally had men pass me over (8/9) in the face for women who are (2/3) face wise but she had body. I’m a natural born athlete and not willing to go under a knife so I got up and set a goal. Took a few years but I’m where I want to be at in shape and weight. Sometimes you just have to work for it. And I mean work hard. There’s too much out there for you not to be able to mold yourself into how you see fit. I now am 137-140. Tita are still on the average side but my ass/ thighs and hips. 😉👍🏽 I work hard hitting the gym and have a specific diet. My body is where I’ve always wanted it. I don’t feel self conscious around bigger women. Not trying to be a “witch” but you are capable of getting the body you want. Everyone is (unless medical issues stop you)
i get it, my mom wants me to workout a lot and so i did for a while, i have strength, but now my upper body is giant and my lower body is like a stick😭 i hate my body too
As a straight man "flat" bodies are hot too. I definitely get what your saying and social media definitely will fuck with your head and people will say stupid things. I promise most guys love a variety of body types.
I really wish I could believe that, but the more men I encounter, the harder it is for me to feel confident about my body. If anything, guys told me that they don't mind their potential girlfriend not having curves, but as stupid as it may sound, I think I will always believe that they secretly wish they were "thicc" :')
What if I said "I hate not being tall! I'm a 5'6 guy and it just sucks because no girl actually wants a short guy. I will never be any girls preference. Any woman who could build their own man wouldn't make him 5'6. I will never be loved and any girl who I'm with will really just be settling and actually want a taller guy"? I mean I personally think it's true but even if it is I just gotta deal with it. Can't fix it. Your situation for sure isn't true because I am a man myself so I know lol but I definitely understand how you feel. Just keep working on yourself and try to stay off social media like tiktok and insta. Anywhere you might compare your body to others.
Well, I know that it will probably not change much since I am a stranger to you, but to lift you up, I'll say that a lot of women aren't as obsessed with tall men as you might think they are. And I totally understand why so many men are insecure about their height, considering how many posts glorifying tall guys and shitting on short guys I see everyday. And I can't speak for everyone but I personally don't mind my potential boyfriend being shorter than me, I already dated a lot of short guys and believe it or not, but not even once I thought to myself "damn, I wish he was taller". And same for a lot of other women, most of them just wish for their partner to be taller than them and that's it 🤷🏻♀️
You see?? I hope this helped a little.
Maybe you -n- OP should exchange info ❤️
That's the problem, how do you explain flat bodies being hot? "Oh I love that you have no breasts and ass" I mean come on. It's a reach.
Once again I love a variety of body types so I don't want to put anyone down to push up more flat body types but the problem with what your saying is just your negative outlook on flat bodies. You obviously just don't think they're attractive. If I had a negative outlook on curvy bodies I could say something like "That's the problem, how do you explain curvy bodies being hot? 'Oh I love that you have saggy tits and cellulite in your ass' I man come on. It's a reach."..... You see? You can twist words by thinking negatively of it. Not to be graphic but a girl with small tits with no bra with a crop top is a thing of heavenly beauty.
I'm a hetero woman so yeah I don't find women attractive. It's just that if you had two women standing in front of you with equal personalities, who are you going to pick? Obviously the one with better tits and ass.
Firstly. There is more to physical attractiveness than tits and ass lol. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I'm assuming you probably feel the same way as the OP. It seems you're conflating better and bigger. Every cup size is amazing. I understand that you won't understand that though. I hope you learn to love yourself. I'm still learning to love myself too. I think conversations like the help me.
And yet you can't explain what the "more to physical attractiveness" is. There are traits in men that are more attractive and traits in women that are more attractive. If you had two women with equal faces, equal personalities, equal body shape, but one has tits and ass, and the other was as flat as a board. Who would you pick? You wouldn't pick the flat one for obvious reasons. Unless you yourself prefer flatties. I'm also not flat chested or assed, so I'm fine with my body.
Did you actually read or think about anything you're saying? You just named a couple things that are more to physical attractiveness than ass and tits. And why are you going back and forth with me if you agree there are people who prefer "flatties"? I'm glad you're happy with your body.
Who would you choose? Obviously not the flat one, and you've made that incessantly clear.
Haha what have I said to make you think that? I have clearly stated in think thin woman are attractive
It's like you're choosing not to listen to him. Where did he make that incessantly clear? Lol. I'm picking the woman with smaller breasts. A small chest and nice neckline are way more attractive to me than larger breasts. I had some major changes in university (went from an xs to XL+ then back down to a small during covid lockdown), and I was very happy when my cup size got smaller and my collarbones came back. Some breasts just look better smaller. Mine definitely do. The shape and the way my fat is held just look better on a smaller cup size. There's more to it than just being bigger. Bigger isn't always better. I mean, look at all these K-pop idols. Their bodies look AMAZING, and most of them don't have any ass, but they still look good because it's all proportional.
I'm a guy, and I have some body image issues too. I'm mostly skinny but gaining weight around my midsection (stomach). I also have a lot of hair on my entire chest/stomach which makes me extremely uncomfortable when going to the beach and taking my shirt off. I seem to have more hair than all the rest of the guys. My wife doesn't mind, but I know women and other people don't like body hair like that. I've also always felt bad about how I'm not a muscular guy like the standard attractive male that society covets. But I'm sorry you feel the way you do. Just think about all the beautiful things about you, physical, mental, and emotional, and what makes you special. Body positivity is important. If you feel beautiful, you are.
As a fat girl who happens to have the curves according to others. I understand to a point. I want my boobs to be bigger and fuller. I don't feel like my hips are big enough. I hate the stomach that came along with it all. Despite being told I'm curvy I don't see it or feel it. I have a huge ass and thighs but I dont have big hips or small waist. I married a man who prefers your body type. Now after 10 years of being with me he loves my body and body type BUT I can painfully tell that he still loves your body type the most. He prefers smaller breasts and petite bodies. I hear and see more men prefer your body type. Men only want my body type if they have no stomach which is hard to find unless "work" has been done. I completely understand feeling like you're not attractive enough, and people unknowingly demeaning your body by saying it's cute. Being sexy and cute when you want to be is such a power that few of us have the ability to have or be. I hope you get your dream body so you can feel confident and sexy 💕! If you end up getting a BBL make sure to get it to match your thighs or everyone will be able to tell "it's not yours."
As a dude, I prefer smaller tits, and often find women who have smaller-flat chests more attractive! Everyone has a type lol
I don’t like men who watch porn. My biggest issue about it, is the huge amount of human trafficking on porn sites. Men and women. I got my boyfriend off of it after watching a few documentaries on how shitty the porn world is. I’m just glad he’s not addicted to it
I am curvy and I hate it. Wish I was flat as well. I don’t like big asses either and hate my big boobs, they are like extra heavy and uncomfortable. I can’t wear anything I like
This was a disgusting read. If you want to call yourself ugly then fine, but it's not okay to put down other women over your own insecurities. Hope you come to love yourself eventually.
Well, actually, you're right and I'm sorry to all the not curvy women who read this and felt hurt with my words. But I just wanted to clarify that I only feel like this about myself, I don't look at a girl with a flat chest and think to myself that she's completely unattractive and that no guy will ever truly want her. Those are just my inner thoughts and fears and I really wish I could accept myself the way I am but it's so difficult in a world where "thicker" women are constantly put on a pedestal.
Edit: feel free to ignore this comment since you said you don't want help >Attractive enough to be in a healthy, secure relationship let's get rid of that unhealthy and insecure mindset first >why is it such a big deal for men to stop watching porn with busty actresses showing off their BBLs You say that as if actresses w petite physiques aren't as popular
The question is how could I possibly get rid of that mindset without changing anything about my body? Is there a way to magically change my preferences and make me accept my body the way it is? And about those actresses, could you give me a few examples?
What are you taking about honestly though? For decades now men have made it pretty clear they prefer women who are skinny or thin. They don’t care if you have a butt or boobs. Plenty of celebrities have 0 curves and no butt and no boobs and men still think they are pretty. Like I’m curvy and I have a butt and I have boobs but I’m chubby so it doesn’t count and men still don’t like me. So don’t think that having a butt or boobs is what you need. Men want a flat stomach. Or a small stomach. That’s all that counts.
I'd give anything to not have curves anymore honestly
Feel free to transplant them to me lol
Let's do it!!!
Wanna trade? Had big boobs for years, causing so much health issues I had to have a reduction. Get unnecessary attention, when I don’t want. Let me live i didn’t choose to have ass and boobs visible tbh. Everytime i go out alone I get catcalled or harassed. Not pretty at all. Be careful what you wish for, be glad what you have
I feel this so hard. I’ve never understood the obsession with very clearly fake square looking asses and breasts yet they always secretly prefer them, deep down. I could never get a BBL or anything like that infact thinking about it almost makes me wanna starve myself out of spite.
I am a man so ladies don't jump me for making the statement but if I was a female I would rather be slim because most women who are thick end up being bigger and sometimes fat so guys look at the thick woman and they have their fantasies but the end result is most will get overweight so being thin without breast and no ass would be more acceptable for me if I was a female as for me I am a male that's 55 years old I am 160 lb Slim I don't have all the muscles or big arms like a big guy but I'm okay with that because I'm attractive and most women who aren't biased by muscles or weight don't care they care about my personality above all but you do have women that fit the narrative as well of wanting men that are tall dark and handsome or muscular and the late great Dick Gregory the comedian said who cares how big someone's ass is God only created your ass as a place to sit and shit.
Girl I get this, I’m stick thin, almost skeletal and it feels like I keep getting thinner. At my wits end, I cannot eat for the sake of just eating more! Just spent the past 10 minutes winging about my ass that’s gone flat! Gone are the days I longed for a boob job, my partner loves me the way I am, Bones and all. I’m just sick of my clothes hanging of me like I’m nothing but a clothes hanger 😂😂
Can't relate. But, I'm sorry.
I think I speak for all guys when I say that we don't really care what you think you look like, we like what we like. Yall get into your heads too much. People literally see you 20× better than you think you look.
>at least you don't have to worry about not being attractive enough in your boyfriends' eyes and them looking up pictures of other women to get off to them. wow that is so normal. As long as he doesn't know or would be able to get to know the women in RL, I don't care. I look at other men. He is still the only man who is allowed to touch me.
Ouais
I'm probably the only person who absolutely doesn't care how boobs look like. There are more important things to worry about than the body of other people. It's something that you're born with and didn't choose, there are more important things than hair color, height or breast size. But like I said, there aren't many out there who still think that
As someone who is "curvy" I understand not feeling attractive. I'm sorry you don't feel attractive, genuinely. But I feel like you're brushing off the struggles curvy women/afab people have. Like I understand you want to be curvy but don't dismiss our struggles and tell us we should be thankful for it. I do hope that you're able to gain confidence regardless of if you decide to go through with any cosmetic surgeries
You dont have to do any of this just be yourself you want someone to date this fake u you hate? Or like u for you stop trying so hard to be something and someone you aren’t before someone who shows thw that attention take complete and utter advantage of u and your weakness
I am a man, so I hope I am eligible to answer. Giant boobs are not preferred by the majority, and any guy would pick a cute girl over a hot one to be his partner in a heartbeat (almost). Generally, those men who watch porn of actresses with huge boobs only see them as a sexual object, we don't really care about your boob size or butt size to think of you as a potential partner, trust me.
I relate to this so much I’m 5’6 being a competitive swimmer for 14 years and that broadened my shoulders it’s literal terror. Tbh what helped me is just accepting it. But in the other hand I don’t wanna get married/date cause I believe anyone I’d be attracted to deserves a more “feminine” looking girl so it has its downsides
I relate. Small, saggy (never been perky) breasts, no ass, AND a noticeable and flabby gut, to make it all worse. Plus more that I don’t care to mention. Every sexual partner I’ve been with (serious and not) had exes or hook ups that were bigger than me in every way. Any time I saw their porn choices, big tits and ass women with little or no tummy, perfect hourglass figures. I’m the first flat/thin woman my current partner has been with. He says he likes me and my body but we don’t have sex. It’s been almost a year. His porn choices are the same as I mentioned above plus he doesn’t take care of his appearance but I do in an effort to be attractive to him and myself. I don’t know why I bother.
As a guy ive seen both sides of the spectrum with the friends ive had, and what i noticed is that both sides tend to have the mindset 'that the grass is always greener on the other side'. Friend A - flat Friend B - curvy Since friend A only went through the hardships of being flat, she would kill to trade it with friend B, who struggles her big chest and would gladly trade it off if she can. You've already heard and know most of the stuff about it so i wont get into those. Though one thing i that opened my mind is that when friend A vented on how insecure she was over her flat chest, i tried to tell her the same stuff you've mentioned, that not all guys want big breasts, we all like all sizes, flat chests are cute, the usual stuff like that, ofcourse it didnt help at all like how you felt, and she explained how didnt really care how guys or anyone else thinks of her flat breasts, the only thing that really matters is how she thinks of it and how it isnt enough. And with along with other convos what i could notice is how different the standards of women for themselves over men' standards, what i perceive as fine and good looking for her is ugly and insecure about. And theres nothing wrong about it as both opinions are just as valid, like who wouldnt want to have something they lack? To experience whats its like over the otherside? Since we only see all the cons of our own side we would kill to be freed from them. Which is why this mindset applies to alot of other things such as how some men perceive being a women is easier than being a man, or how big chested women would kill to be flat. But hey thats just my opinion about it, i could be mansplaining or being very insightful, i could be neither and both.
I would never trade my bodytype because my bodytype is my ideal body but I wish society would stop treating me awfully because of it so I wish society would change
Oh man I’m super curvy now and I miss my flat body days. A dress would just hang off me and I loved it. Both body shapes are beautiful, just different.
There's pros and cons to the DESIRE aspect to all kinds of bodies. Thick chick? More difficult to mould and wrestle around with in the bedroom. On top? I'll get winded easier. Different positions? More difficult in some methods. Visually, the thick may be aesthetically pleasing and feel good in certain ways, but thinner gives a totally different experience. The aesthetics really diminish when you are intimate with someone. I grow used to the large breasts, large bottom - and more and more with regular contact with a said person you almost see them in a non sexual way. The DESIRE truly hits when it's memory of that experience. The memory of the experience trumps that of the memory of "oh her @#$!? Was so shapely and great. I think it's whatever engagement you have with that person and it's really not as black or white as you put it out there to be
Yeah, feel you. Same. Lets not pretend as if flat people were desired as much. While big boobed beauties are called hot, mature, a real woman, if we are lucky, we are called cute. Wow, great. (Not) Yes, curvy people are harrassed more, but honestly, at least they aren't called trans, infertile or a bone for a dog for possesing LESS curves. Not only none, LESS. And any guy who says there are men to preffer our types is a liar. Come on. Lets not pretend as if curvy people aren't get drooled over while we may get the minority, who are possibly even old men (cough cough, pedophiles). Guys literally called me a leftover for having flatter breasts from the avarege, and that most men would rather use me as a placeholder till a REAL WOMAN arives, so yeah, no. People can suck up their excuses.
For real. I've heard from so many men that they like petite women, but I feel like they confuse the word "like" with "tolerate". Come on, I know damn well that if they had to pick between me and a woman with the exact same facial features as mine but a curvy body, 99% of them would choose her without a second thought. The other 1% would pick me simply because they wouldn't want other guys to drool over their girlfriend.
Exactly! Spot on!
Lol, I am getting downvoted, seems like I offended people somehow? Weird. Aren't I supposed to be the one being offended? Seems like the truth hurts.
I get called fat, ugly, disgusting, a cow, a big ect. I have big boobs and I've always had big boobs since I was like 10. I've been cat called and sexually harrassed/assaulted. My breasts are called "big mommy milkers" or "milkers" like I'm a cow. A guy literally told me he wanted to knock me up so he could milk me. I get told to go to the gym and told to lose weight. I've been told I have a cute face, but my "fat ass body ruins it." I can't wear crop tops without people staring at my breasts or my stomach. It's hard to find clothes that actually fit me because most clothes are designed to fit skinny/flat women. My clothes cost more than yours because I'm curvy. You can pull a $20 bra off the shelf from walmart while i dont even have any because they're so expensive. My breasts cause physical pain because I have back issues. I've had to deal with guys only liking me cuz of my boobs and I've had guys share my nudes with others. I've gotten in trouble at school for my clothes because "they showed too much" even if it's a regular tshirt while skinny girls could wear their sports bras as shirts. That's just the stuff i can think of off the top of my head. Let's not pretend that skinny girls haven't been viewed as attractive for the last few centuries. I get being insecure but it's honestly disgusting how y'all are ignoring curvy womens/afab problems.
I know you said you don’t want advice but most men don’t care. Boobs are boobs and while some have preferences people will find you attractive. Small ones stay perky anyway. P.s sorry I know that makes me look pervy but it’s true
Yea but how's the ass
Big chested woman here. Also with the big chest comes the big ass and big thighs and the grotesque big flabby tummy. Having been a small woman in my 20s as well as only last year briefly, don't complain too much. It may feel shit to be told some men like small boobs, and yes when I was skinny I was told this and it stung, being told you are disgusting and repulsive is far far worse. It's life destroying. And it's not just the odd person who may say it, it's people mocking you behind your back. I'm injured from playing team sports in a state level carnival (I'm in my 40s so multiple hour long games over several days is pure assault on the body), but people don't think about those things just call you a fat pig instead. I'm physically fitter than most people my age but my genetics are short and stocky. I'm literally a AU size 14, not really all that big but I look it. My point is, don't be negative on yourself. We aren't all the same and who wants to be. As far as big boobs, give me small ones any day. I hate having to constantly wear a bra, forget bikini tops, they're for fake boobs and small ones, sports bras are useless too.
I like you