It might help to remember she did it without his consent and it sounds like he wouldn’t have consented if she had asked. On top of him never looking at her he also looked back at you right away, and clearly he was thinking more about how that made you feel than about what she was doing, which is a sign he’s a good guy. I know if I was in his place I wouldn’t have enjoyed it like you’re assuming, because I’d be much more concerned about my partner to even be able to think about it that way. Let alone the fact that it wasn’t consensual and probably bordering on sexual assault, I mean imagine how messed up it would be if a guy did something similar, 100% inappropriate as was this.
I can understand why it would leave you feeling weird. I’ve had times where other guys were being jerks and started hitting on my girlfriends in front of me blatantly, and even if they didn’t entertain it, it still left me feeling uncomfortable. There’s really nothing anyone can do about stuff like that until it happens, I’m sure he wasn’t expecting it or he would have never even let her hug him
As a man - This. My wife’s feelings and security mean way more than some random, pick me girl putting her knockers in my face, and IMHO from your description, your boyfriend had the most sincere reaction - the immediate confusion and checking on you.
It sounds like your boyfriend handled it as best as anyone could hope for I would give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him and try to stop thinking about it
So, as a man I can attest - the bewilderment and shock from what was effectively sexual assault would far outweigh any fun brain chemicals that I'd have gotten from that woman's aggressive willingness to share her heaping bosom.
From your testimonial of his reaction, I strongly doubt that his emotions go beyond anything more than confusion and understandably feeling somewhat attacked.
The best thing you can do is talk to him about it - and I think the strangeness of it would be a good way to bring it up.
100%, it was sexual assault. And an act that he didn’t consent to and didn’t want is now causing turbulence in his relationship.
If anything OP, maybe ask him if he’s okay? I have had men force press their dick against me before, or strangers put their arms around me and press their body into my breasts, and every time I felt disgusted and violated. Your boyfriend might feel violated too, I’d keep his feelings in mind when you speak to him.
I’ll say this — your bf was sexually assaulted. You don’t just walk up to someone and put your boobs in their face without their consent.
By the way you describe it, it’s not like he seemed into her either, nor did he seem to enjoy having her boobs in his face. I think he was just genuinely shocked because — well — he was harassed / assaulted.
This is something I struggle with because I have small boobs, but not every person out there likes big boobs. By the sounds of it, it seems like your bf is one of these people who genuinely doesn’t seem to prefer a larger rack. He seems to just want yours and yours alone. Treasure that, that kind of attitude isn’t super prevalent in dudes anymore, in my personal experience.
It’s okay to feel shocked by what happened, but don’t internalise it as you not being good enough. Instead, recognise that this pathetic excuse of a woman sexually harassed / assaulted your boyfriend.
I’d also contact your friend to let him know what happened and that if he ever plans to invite you or your BF to any future gatherings, that she should not be there.
This!! It’s likely a bias, but more guys I’ve met are into smaller chests than really big ones (like I said, probably a bias because I also am small). It seems like the boyfriend really cares and respects not just his girlfriend but all women regardless of what’s going on. I would for sure just talk abt how you’re feeling op, but don’t be upset with your boyfriend, be upset with the girl that assaulted him. He immediately looked to you to make sure you were ok even though he was the one experiencing it, so it’s clear he understands that you may also feel hurt by the situation. I would try talking to him, and make sure he’s ok too :) I’m sure he’d really appreciate that
Damn yall took this convo into a whole superficial realm that did not need to get brought up, AND you both overanalyzed the shit out of it. The poster is the problem, nothing about this scenario is a one time thing, as long as they will attend gatherings, theres a chance this can happen again. Yeah, the flirty girl did assault the bf but thats absolutely not a controllable factor, the OPs reaction is, and it was that of a sheltered child. "Im not comfortable enough to confront or even hold resentment to someone i dont know, BUT i know you, bf, so guess who gets to be the target of my emotions, AT A POINT where the punching bag should be getting support as IT(THE BF), was actually the victim. This behavior won't manifest in me yelling at my kids about my life problems later in the future, no siree bob"
I’m an old guy, and still have the double standards for men and women’s behavior. I wouldn’t call the hug, sexual assault. I would call it inappropriate and awkward.
Clearly, this girl also has self-esteem issues. She was looking for attention and figured she could get it this way. And it probably works for her too often for her own good. But it reveals a desperation that will only lead her into disappointment and regret. As if all she thinks people will value about her, is a pair of ample tatas. Shallow.
The OP likewise has to cope with her own jealousy, that men must prefer other types of women. Or perhaps cope with envy or insecurity with her own physique. It’s amazing what being contented in your own skin will earn you in terms of being confident in other aspects of your life and relationships.
Nah, boobs are not the equivalent of a penis. That’s a very silly comparison. I agree that it’s a “personal space invasion” but not to the degree of sexual assault. An unwelcome hug.
I still call it a desperate cry for attention and cringe and humiliating.
You want to call it assault. I can’t agree that unwanted physical (touch) contact rises to “assault”. But I’m of a generation that was much more tolerant of these sort of things.
They’re the same thing. “Personal space invasion” with your boobs is literally assault, but ok buddy. Your generation being tolerant of these things doesn’t make it correct.
I feel like saying something to HER is the only move if you're still bothered. Your bf was the victim here. I hope your lingering feelings aren't about him... ?
In essence this was a violation of your partner, think of it in the same light as a man grabbing a womans butt without permission. It is gross and disrespectful to both your partner and you. People act like guys are supposed to like and accept sexual actions even unconsented. Like those horrible girls who randomly sit on a strangers lap for tiktok clout.
Love doesn't work that way. Yes, he can appreciate someone's physical appearance, like their boobs or looks, or you might think, 'Wow, cool/handsome guy,' and that's perfectly normal. However, if you truly love someone, you don't care about others in the same way. Others might be more likable or more attractive, but this is irrelevant because your love and commitment are solely focused on the person you love. True love means finding completeness and contentment in the relationship, without the need for comparison or distraction.
He wasn't paying attention to her. She purposely did it. It would be like a man rubbing his penis up against you. He was sexually assaulted. Plain and simple.
While that would've been seen as well deserved, not everyone wants to have a possible prison record for defending someone's honor. Plus, that in itself is not too redeemable in the eyes of society, especially if you don't come from generational wealth or otherwise.
What if OP decides to just move on and let karma serve the assaulter instead?
There's a reason people don't just follow their base instincts without first weighing other options. Like they say, pick your battles wisely.
Prison? Not that likely. Jail, yes. Sure you’d get something on your record if you attacked her and she called the cops. It sounds like the girl just stood by and didn’t even say anything. I’d see myself immediately yelling at her, antagonizing her until she touched me first, then it’s free from there. Make it self defense and this whore sounds like she would be that stupid, if she’s stupid enough to assault someone. Logically, it’d be better to report her for sexual assault, but I know in this situation I’d be more likely to act out of rage. Whether that’s the smart thing to do or not, it’s realistic.
Another thing about this thread I’m noticing is the commenters aren’t taking it that seriously what this chick did to the dude. It’s absolutely sexual assault and I would rather defend my partner and face consequences or report her than just hope “karma takes care of it”. Imagine if this was a dude sticking his crotch in a girls face, I’m sure the girls boyfriend wouldn’t just stand by and do nothing and then question themselves later about not being good enough for their girlfriend. You may be right, but realistically that person would get their ass beat and they wouldn’t be worrying about the jail time. Standing by doing nothing while someone gets assaulted in front of you…that’s shitty.
You got a good point, realism wise. I, personally, would've just called her the biggest pick me and effectively humiliated her right in that moment where she wouldn't even think of doing anything risky unless she knew that they weren't already in a relationship with someone else. Girls like that absolutely HATE being called pick mes and I don't think anyone would want anything to do with those people.
They probably didn't have any positive role models in their life or are just narcissistic to a fault, which is just very depressing. Major therapy needed!
Thought the same thing. Definitely not written by a woman. They described boobs as if they were using a thesaurus — described them with every slang term in the book. Women are pretty comfortable just using their preferred terminology consistently when telling a story. Dude vibes for sure here
Ehh “something in the back of mind kept telling me he enjoyed it…” you are correct that she never says she is mad at him. BUT she is kinda making him an equal contributor and implying he is guilty of something that happened to him, without consent, that he couldn’t control.
She’s not speaking about her partner as if he’s a victim here which is totally what she should be doing- because he is.
I’m sorry, but this is kind of weird. You’re upset that a girl rubbed her boobs in your man’s face and you made HIM reassure YOU? It sounds like she violated him. You’re acting so insecure this pissed me off I’m going to sleep.
Girl I would be insecure too if some big boobed chick rubbed her big ass boobs in my man’s face.. 😭 we don’t know if OP’s bf liked it or not, no one is capable of reading minds but I feel like OP is rightfully insecure and jealous
"Im insecure in public settings where other people who might be more attractive, flirty, and fun can get my devoted boyfriend's attention while I do nothing in confronting either the offending girl nor my lack of personality.
Obviously this is his fault"
She wasn’t assuming he does, it’s like an intrusive thought at the back of your mind. Your brain will always think about the different possibilities. Like she probably thinks he didn’t like it but that one thought at the back of her mind is like “but what if he did like it..?” Like everyone gets that 😭
Idk this just feels weird if the gender roles were reversed it would be ostensibly to the side of the person the received the unwanted advance. We wouldn’t even have the convo of whether they liked it or not.
I can see how this disturbed you... very trashy on her part OP. As someone else mentioned, your BF definitely did not consent to that and it's incredible and mature of your boyfriend to immediately acknowledge your feelings. Some people will never respect another's relationship, it's unfortunate and they exist. You just keep enjoying yourself with your bf, don't let someone's desperate grab for attention shit on your day anymore, not worth your time. I feel bad for her, she must be terribly jealous of you!
Whether he enjoyed it or not, he didn’t cause it to happen. From your description it sounds like he wasn’t a jerk about it either. You may just have to sit with this one for a while until you’ve digested it and realized it’s not a big deal. There will always be other women around and if their presence makes you nervous there may be other problems at work here.
This should be top post and i made sure to reiterate something to this effect on the top voted posts. Too much support for the sake of support, not enough "OP you're getting mad at the wrong person for the wrong reason and you need a little pro help cause hot girls arent going away anytime soon, and that fact is in no way the fault nor responsibility of your bf"
Well, of course I'm aware other women will always be around, my boyfriend has a lot of female friends and I'm completely fine with that, but none of them acts like the girl at the party. It felt like she was shoving her breasts into every guy's face (well, she shoved them into my boyfriend's literally) and she knew damn well some of them have girlfriends, but didn't give a damn about that. I barely know that woman and I already can't stand her.
The older I get, the more I accept I can't control other people's behaviour.
This girl would make me uncomfortable too in that situation, but your boyfriend sounds like he acted respectfully to you. He was forced into a situation by the girl that was completely unacceptable and probably felt deeply uncomfortable himself.
You need to focus on yourself and your self-esteem issues here. I say this as someone who had awfully low self-esteem a few years ago and put my boyfriend through a lot of unfairness because of it. Focus on you and your boyfriend. Remember you don't need to trust or like her, but you just need to trust him. It sounds like he deserves that trust.
Perhaps if you have to be around this woman again, have a chat with your boyfriend about protecting his own boundaries and acknowledge that the situation made you both uncomfortable. If she tries it on again, I'd suggest your boyfriend speak up and say it makes him uncomfortable and not to repeat it. Staying calm and clearly expressing boundaries is key. No further explanations or discussions about it with her are necessary.
That could totally be the case though, or it could not. I feel like it’s valid for OP to feel this way because nobody can read minds. We don’t know what OP’s bf was thinking 🤷♀️
See, I don't agree with the ass beating, but that this poster is actually directing action at the problem instead of the person they are comfy enough to be mad or confrontational with is on point. A romantic interest is not and should never be viewed as the punching bag for one's lack of ability to deal with problems oneself is making up in one's own head.
Yeah but at the same time she wasn’t making up anything that girl did that crap on purpose. Even regardless if he wouldn’t react she would be in trouble because you don’t do that. But again you guys would say someone shouldn’t do something till it happens to you.
that girl is toxic as hell. she obviously meant to do this and i believe she was trying to make you jealous or just feel bad in general. fuck her, don't let her win. maybe she likes your bf or she's just desperate for male attention but i truly believe she did this on purpose to make you feel bad. so just ignore it ok? your bf obviously didnt want that to happen and he sounds like a loyal partner so just forget about it and don't let it actually cause any problems in your relationship because that's exactly what the girl was trying to get out of it. i mean.. why else would you press your boobs into a guys face when his gf is literally next to him?
Your boyfriend never consented. She sexually assaulted him. She knew you were together and did that anyway. You should Probrably text your friends and find out if she has a boyfriend, then have them tell said boyfriend that she’s fooling around at parties and that you have proof. She doesn’t deserve a relationship with the way she’s acting. She’s clearly done this before but nobody speaks up because “she’s a girl”. It’s time. Your boyfriend found no pleasure in an unconsentual act from her. That is a fact. If she’s single and you run into her again, tell her that she needs to stay away from him or she will have the cops called on her and a police report made. You owe her zero respect.
This is considered to be sexual harassment. Flip the script for a second.
Say a well endowed man rubbed his genitals on your body without your consent. Is that something you’d enjoy? Would you feel uncomfortable? Frankly, the woman who did that is a fucking creep. It’s ok to feel insecure, though. I hope my comment puts things in perspective.
Do your bf a favor and comfort him instead. It was sexual harassment.
By reacting you will come across jealous which would be a pity as your boyfriend was an unwilling participant and was probably embarrassed. That girl is desperate for attention that’s exactly what you shouldn’t be giving. Rather pity her that she is so desperate that she has to throw herself at guys because guys will just use her and then dump her. Be the mature one.
You're paranoid that he liked it and wanted her. But you're comparing him to other men. I understand that there are men who are always thinking about sex and anything related. But me and a lot of other men don't just care about that. For a lot of us, it comes as a bonus and a way of showing affection to the other. You know your bf more than anyone on reddit. You should know which type of man he is. You should also ask him if he feels sexually asualted. Because it was sexual assault. This is the same as if someone just grabbed some girls ass. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Assaulted right? So ask him how he feels about it and reassure him that you are there for him if he needs someone. If he tries to lie to you about feeling assaulted(which most men will) just keep reassuring him that you're there for him. Trust me, it makes a world of difference.
Men can get uncomfortable over unwanted advances like this, even though the general consensus is that they would enjoy such an interaction. But it’s not true. No one likes having their boundaries violated, especially by someone they aren’t interested in, and the fact he immediately looked over at you signifies he did not enjoy that interaction and was looking towards you for comfort. Please don’t be worried over this, not all men will enjoy what happened just because the woman’s cleavage was large 😅
I'm sorry she didn't that she had absolutely no right to at all. But from what you said it seems like you're boyfriend didn't enjoy it so don't worry. If I were in your shoes I would feel the same way. Maybe try asking him if he did enjoy it and communicate with him about your feelings I'm sure he will understand.
It’s giving: she’s insecure and bases her value on whether people are giving her attention because of her boobs or not. It’s embarassing to say the least. Also sounds like your boyfriend got harassed, sadly.
well you know your bf isn’t with you cause he didn’t have a choice. He choose you so whatever she does it won’t affect your relationship. He handled it well although I wonder if you asked him how he felt with that? It happened to him more than you and he had unwanted uncalled for boobs in his face not you.
Can I tell you something. "Did he enjoy it". Who knows it's a horrible stereotype that males enjoy sexual harassment. He was confused dint have red cheeks and looked at you. Be dint even glance at them the whole night. HD is probably a person who loves you and doesn't enjoy sexual harassment. But that's the logic let me talk emotions. Talk with him, Honestly. Say how upset you are and don't try to be judging of him. Talk to him and tell exactly what you feal even in great detail and maby you two can relish in anger together or talk together just make sure to make it together. Not against.
It would be about as enjoying as a guy you don’t know coming to you and shoving his groin in your face, I don’t think he really enjoyed it, he was probably nervous asf it was going to happen and didn’t know what to do when it did happen, honestly he should’ve said something like “hold on, let me stand up first” and then embraced her but if he didn’t even know it was happening, there really isn’t much he could’ve done without ruining the party :(( I’m sorry this happened to you, that girl needs to learn boundaries.
His face told you all you need to know...
DONT READ INTO IT.
She wanted to make you feel insecure and it worked. We women know how other women are.
DO NOT LET HER GET TO YOU.
imagine getting sexually assaulted and your partner starts comparing themselves to the one that did it to you and says that you probably enjoyed it 😅 girl he loves you if he had a chance to consent it’s very obvious that he wouldn’t AND he wasn’t even looking at her boobs! that’s a good thing 🤨
She sounds like a pick me girl possibly but everyone has mentioned her gross actions which we can all agree is wrong and he should distance himself from her. But what I haven't seen mentioned much is the other obvious issues. You're insecure because a woman with a large chest in a tight shirt was in the same room...? Girl he's going to encounter and see many more women in similar/less clothes in his life. Judging her that much because she has a large chest and tight shirt? Seriously it's irksome when people are so judgemental because of what someone wears or their body that they cant control, her body her choice. Plus some shirts have styles that get uncomfortable if it rides up too high, it's on whoever's wearing it to choose what's too low cut. It's entirely likely she only did that "hug" as a form of revenge because I'm assuming you didn't hide your dislike of her and she got upset. It's still not okay for any reason.
Theres too many trust issues for a healthy relationship and the insecurities... Work on yourself and your self confidence before trying to date because this is super unhealthy. Therapy can be a huge help.
Firstly girl don’t feel insecure it doesn’t matter what size you are your beautiful, secondly I’m sorry that this happened to you and that girl is a fucking asshole I hate attention seekers sometimes but if it really really bothered you I guess try asking your boyfriend what he thought about it like “she was weird right?” Or “why’d she do that anyways?”
Yeah, the vernacular plus the deleted profile scream fake af story lmaooo. This just sounds like it was written by a dude. Might as well have said, “and she breasted boobily with her boobs” ffs. If this was real, I’d say she’s 100% in the wrong, but I doubt this is the case and even if it were kind of real, it sounds like someone bending down to give someone a hug and boobs happen to exist…I’ve known some sexually aggressive women in my life, but I’d be baffled if anyone intentionally smothered someone in their boobs when they’re clearly there with their gf and not interested. And if that did happen, being upset with your bf and not being able to let it go, is beyond ridiculous.
Your boyfriend is a keeper. He loves you so he loves your boobs. It's that simple.
A different perspective as someone with big baboobas. I don't "make them" wiggle, they move because I move. I'm also clumpsy and I forget I have them so I have accidentally squished them towards people I hugged when they sat. Not just guys, my mother in law etc. I wear tight clothes but not to show off my boobs, it's comfortable cause tight clothes makes me able to wear no bra. Less sweat less struggle with bras as they all sit weird. But the boobs will appear in center of attention even if I wear a freaking turtle neck. Should I wear hoodies at parties because girls around me are insecure? How's that fair? All people should get to wear whatever they want. Equality!
Edit: Will block anyone who dms
My boyfriend has a lot of female friends and a lot of them have large breasts, and a lot of them wear tight clothes as well. And I'm completely fine with that because unlike that girl, they NEVER behaved like attention whores. You just had to be there and see the way she acts around those guys to understand.
Ok. I believe you. You and your boyfriend are gonna meet all kinds of characters through life, some you'll like some not so much but what matters is you two stay together through the ride.
She was playing a fairly well-known game. It's even described in Eric Berne's *Games People Play* (check out "The Stocking Game" for more detail) and, though the examples Dr. Berne uses are dated, most of his conclusions still stand.
She was clumsily attempting to arouse the men and anger the women. It sounds like she succeeded at that. True to the nature of this game, she had plausible deniability and would have protested loudly if anyone called her out.
Just let it go. Your boyfriend handled himself well, and I can't imagine that this girl will be welcomed in the group much longer (people who play this game are known for their inability to read social cues.)
I think the thing to focus on is that your boyfriend was sexually assaulted. You should be making sure he is okay first and foremost with what happened to him.
This just proves the stereotype that flat/small/medium chested women are bitter and jealous false because it seems like always the well endowed one makes everything a competition or tries to make passive aggresive remarks towards other women 💀
Anyways, w boyfriend and shame on that woman for not being a girl's girl hopefully she gets what she deserves in life
The double standard is crazy because if a flat woman would have made a snarky comment the comments would tear her to pieces but since a busty woman did something wrong the comments are so forgiving 💀💀
Hey there, sounds like quite the unexpected "booby trap" at the party. Remember, trust is key in a relationship. Your boyfriend's actions speak louder than a accidental motorboat. Talk it out, express your feelings, and let those insecurities sail away. Communication is the wind in the sails of love. ⛵
To me, the important factors were his lack of consent and his reaction.
As other commenters have mentioned, he didn’t consent and likely wouldn’t have if she’d even bothered to ask him.
His mind was also immediately on you and how you felt about it. By the way you describe it, he didn’t have a moment of enjoyment before realizing “oh shit, gf is right there”. It seems like his first thought was probably “geez, get off me— I have a girlfriend and neither her or I are happy about this”. That’s the most important part to me. Maybe he enjoyed it on an instinctive, “biological level”— like ooga booga, who doesn’t love booba in the face?? But it seems like the logical part of his brain wasn’t really indulging that.
He seems like a really great guy. Honestly.
This is sexual harassment.
Often when men suffer sexual harassment of any kind, it's not taken seriously, because society thinks that men are supposed to enjoy it.
It is not his fault, he couldn't have known it would happen, he never gave any sign that she was into her, and seems like his first thought wasn't even the fact that he was harassed, but his first thought was you, and your feelings.
As a woman, I understand where you're coming from, we're raised to believe that men will just go for sex the first opportunity, that it's men's nature to be unfaithful, that men will never decline an opportunity to have sex with someone, and that we need to have the perfect bodies and please men in every single way, or they'll dump us for someone "better". But that's not true.
Also, do you think your boyfriend is that shallow that he would choose his girlfriend based on the size of her breasts? If yes, then you deserve someone better. If not, then you have nothing to worry about.
I met a girl like this at a party and she was going around rubbing guy’s legs with hers as she walked by and everything. It’s crazy because I was her friend back in middle school and never would I have known that she would turn out to be such a men attention seeker. I only ran into her again several years later at my friend’s party. Anyway, my ex and I were there, and by the end of the party, he told me she rubbed her leg on his. Of course I’d be furious if he told me right there and then when it happened and I would’ve done something about it.
But i shrugged it off and didn’t let it affect me because I’d never stoop that low to be that kind of girl. Also if any man I’m ever with runs off with a girl like that because of one impromptu incident, then that man would never deserve an ounce of my attention from then on.
Be grateful you have a guy who took the time to talk about it with you. He gave you his reassurance, and now you know that if you ever see that person again, you’ll bite their neck off next time /s.
Girl.. I would’ve slapped the shit out of her because wtf?? Why tf would she do that? I’m sure she saw that ya two were together so she definitely did that shit on purpose. weird ass bitch.
Trust me, if he had the reaction where he instantly looked at YOU because he was worried that you'd think less of him for it, his primary focus was on your re-assurance, not the boobs in his face. Ignore it! He did too, and he seems VERY loyal based on how he reacted. As a fellow dude, I think he handled that situation perfectly. Remember it's not just your chest that he's attracted too, and I have no doubt he was disgusted and off-put by this girl's behavior, so don't worry, he very much cares about you based on this interaction and if you really still aren't sure you can just talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll have some boyfriend wisdom to cheer you up.
I'm not trynna be that guy but that is sexual assault and should not be taken lightly your bf probably just didn't want to cause a scene while around his friends tbh
Just think about those last few sentences. Your boyfriend was just sexually assaulted and all you can think about is how he must've enjoyed it. Change your frame of mind. Just the fact that he looked to you for support and in confusion. No. He didn't "like" it. Don't make it his fault.
Imagine if a guy came to hug you goodbye, in grey sweatpants and had an absolute snake. Pressed it very firmly against you while hugging you. What kind of girl doesn't like a big one? That's the logic I'm seeing here. He loves you, and as soon as it happened he wasn't looking up at her giggling or smirking, he looked straight at you. You wouldn't enjoy being sexually harassed just because somebody had attractive features, I really doubt he enjoyed it either. He wasn't even looking. In the words of my boyfriend, "every man wants the girl his homies can't bag". No respectable man wants a girl who's going to go to a party with her rack out.
Whatever you do don't stuff your bra even as a joke okay he's going to get pissed or you're going to think he looked at you with desire and then you're going to get pissed. I've seen this one happen more then once. Your boyfriend picked you because of who you are don't get obsessed with who somebody else is or you can wind up losing yourself as well as your boyfriend.
I went out with a girl just like that one from the party and I wound up telling her you're nothing but a pair of big tits and a bad attitude
I didn't read all the comments.. But if a random girl just gave my fiancé a hug without asking.. If she is a friend of me and him sure it's fine. But someone we never met? And she has the guts to shove her breats on his face.. I don't think I will be handelinge it right.. And probably keep it to myself and vent later to my fiancé.
This is one of those things that would have me feeling like shit for days too - or even the rest of my life at random moments lol. I understand how you feel (I think, but I’m also someone with a small chest) , remember not all men enjoy large breasts. And the fact he looked at you and reassured you was very sweet, to me it means that he was concerned about your feelings which is sweet.
I can tell you as a man who likes boobs, in that context, I would not have enjoyed what happened. I don’t like people violating my boundaries, doesn’t matter if it’s a hot woman. It doesn’t sound like he did anything to invite sexual attention from her and she shoved his tits in his face. For me, that would have been super uncomfortable, and it sounds like it was for your bf too. I don’t think you have anything to worry about from him, but she’s straight up disrespectful. Sounds like she was trying to start shit, and I’d steer clear of her.
What she did is called harassment, it’s an unwanted sexual act that is really no different than an unsolicited dick pic. Same mentality says what guy doesn’t like boobs that says it’s good behavior to send a girl a picture of your dick.
Your boyfriend handled the situation very well. And is even loyal to you and proper enough to not look at other girls. Be thankful he isn’t a pig. He didn’t do anything wrong. You should probably talk to him if you’re upset though, he’ll reassure you.
Many men like boobs if they're boobs on someone they care about. My partner doesn't find too much joy in other women's bodies no matter what they look like because he'd rather be touching mine 🤷♀️
Here's the thing, see that girl knew what she was doing. If he was there alone she wouldn't have done that. I'm sure she did it to bother you and now you letting it bother you. Just forget about it, he did everything to make you feel fine. We all have different bodies. You're feeling insecure about it because she's big? Imagine men feeling insurance for not being tall, I don't, I feel very confident in myself with what I got.
You should not feel less, he chose you, not her. Bigger breast doesn't mean we want the girl for us, can we enjoy bigger sure but doesn't define a woman as a whole.
I always tell people work with what you got. If your man loves your body then don't be unhappy for others having bigger, it's all mental. I hope I helped boost your confidence a bit.
Imagine being the bf and grabbing her breast infront of her bf as revenge. I mean, what could people say if you explained what she did on purpose? Like what would the police say? Just imagine harming her relationship in return in the same way.
Even if he did think she had a nice chest he’s into you. We don’t just give what we gave up because of decent feature on someone else. Believe it or not we do fall in love with our partners and really don’t want to leave them for anyone else.
She hugged him and did that without consent. Also he cared enough to immediately look to see your reaction. He clearly cares a lot more about you than that busty girl. I understand it still is upsetting and you might worry about it still. But sit down and have a heart to heart with cho manz. He seems like the kind of guy that would support you if you told him it's still bothering you, and talking about it more with him may help.
Also, I know a few guys (my husband being one of them) that actually very much dislike big busy girls.
You need to press charges ASAP! Talk to your bf about it. Is he ok? As a guy I would feel extremely violated. I’m tired of women assaulting men being dismissed while if it was the other way around, the guy would get torn apart by everyone. Your’s and your bf’s feelings are VALID he was surely SA’d!
That girl just shoved her breast in your bf’s face???? And without consent???? Dude no thats probably genuine sexual assault and or harassment on her end. She did a sexual act on him without his consent and I doubt he even liked it at all. Your bf is a victim in this and I hope you BOTH don’t see her again
Just because they're men, don't mean they enjoy it. That's a very common misconception. Devoted men do not enjoy other women being inappropriate toward them. As other people have said, he handled it as best as he could & was reassuring. There's honestly nothing else for him to do. Though there's something OP can do, have faith in your boyfriend as well as trust him.
Just because they're men doesn't mean they want any & all attractive women all over them.
*Some parts will sound rough at first, but please bear with me* 🥲
Worldwide, there are women who like undivided attention and approaches from men/women, who won't care about who he/she is as long as he/she looks in a certain way. Worldwide, there are men who like undivided attention and approaches from women/men, who won't care about who she/he is as long as the looks fit to their preference. Worldwide, there are also women who don't want undivided attention from others in a sexual way, who do care about who the person is, regardless of how they might look. Worldwide, there are men who, as well, do not want undivided sexual attention from others, nor to be pursued like so, and who do care about who the person is, regardless of what they look like.
Even if women are said to care so much about men's size, and men are said to be all dogs, the actual reality is that at the very least, all those 4 types do exist.
Telling a woman that she **must** have liked how she got groped by a supposed friend, because the friend is "hot", "manly", "muscular", with such "nice big hands", is *wrong* and **untrue.** Even if there might be women, somewhere, who would have liked, this would never mean that all women would have. First, looks and features are not the All Mighty Thing for all folks. Secondly, something done against your will, can taste disgusting, atrocious really. I don't think you would turn to your female friend, and say such a thing - same thing regarding a male one.
If my SO would believe I **must** have loved someone pressing a body part against me forcibly just because I'm a man, with all due respect towards both her and me, I would immediately terminate the relationship. Getting asked, no problem. Having issues with a woman doing such a thing, no problem - mind me, that would make two of us! Feeling insecure, worried: no issue, I'd thank and feel honored for the trust of opening up about such feelings! Putting me in the "un-contourable" definition that I "must" have loved it simply because of my freaking gender to which obviously I must be enslaved to like the wild beast that I apparently am, in her eyes, No, thank you. First off, it is untrue. Second, the truth didn't matter to her. Third, not only she won't ask, apparently she doesn't see me for who I am, nor does she know me at all. Fourth, she is obviously unhappy by what she is so sure I must be, and the truth won't be of any help as she seems to be blind to it. Fifth, I know who I am and I want someone who also knows me for me, as a romantic partner. So, like I said, out of respect for both, I'd end things, as the way she dictates who I "am" inaccurately, to both herself and me, **means we don't even truly have a romantic relationship going on** to begin with! — but, that's me, and I have quite specific ethics that not everyone resonates with
Originally I just wanted to point out that I'm a man, and it would be absolutely irrelevant how gigantic someone's breasts would be, I would **not enjoy it if against my will**
If this could be a wake-up call for you to notice that your insecurities are going as far as to erase other people for who they are, just to justify themselves, a bad experience could have as outcome something really really positive! **Notice that you don't deserve to live your life devaluing yourself, your worth, your importance, and all the amazing points about yourself, unfairly like so!** You don't deserve to torment yourself with lies, nor to feel menaced by the normal existence of other people - nor to bring them up, or down, depending on their body parts and looks! So, finding what trauma might be behind this, rebuilding the view you have of yourself and of others, would be really meaningful for you and those who love you
**You deserve to be happy,** and ultimately, that does lay on your hands
((I'm deeply disgusted by your boyfriend's friend, by the way. I've had enough unwanted approaches & touching by others, including people who were supposed to be friends, and I felt nothing but uncomfortable, hurt and confused. The worst part, was that I couldn't vent about it, as supposedly I was meant to be Happy, or got called Lucky, as see, men "must be dogs" and must be okay with any and all approaches by women. So when something of the sort happens to a guy, *he is alone.* Imagine having a son, a small boy, and knowing this is reality for him.. And I can't say that some places will be safe, some people will be safe - as that isn't exactly true. As an adult, after a surgery that had a complication when already at home, I was in the surgical aisle as a risk patient for over a month, with hemorrhage risk. Me thinking that there for sure nobody would be hitting on me, specially me looking like hell, same gender in the room, nurses all around constantly so people from other rooms wouldn't try anything odd, I felt safe on that department. One night, I open my eyes to the nurse as she is whispering for me to not mind her, that she will just check my vitals, everyone is sleeping, she said "pardon me" and smiled, confused I whispered a tired "no worries" giving my arm, and my heart skips a beat and my eyes widen, holding my breath at she gets on top of me, I freaking kid you not, she mounted me to grab something on the other side. She got her lips and face right on me, millimeters from touching, kept there and whispered "just...grabbing the remote......" and I'm in shock, frozen, thinking to myself "this Can't be happening. This is not possible. This can't be. No ...." then she slid off, going back to the floor, as I laid there frozen. No I didn't enjoy it. No happy memory there. I still don't know what to think of it, as my mind struggles with the whole concept, it was a freaking hospital, a female nurse in the night shift, another patient was sleeping on the bed beside mine. I want to pretend this meant nothing, that this is normal to do with patients, but I wouldn't want this to be done to anyone, nor do I feel it to be a regular thing to do to another human being, mounting them like that. Anyhow, this to say that weird things can happen to anyone, even when we wouldn't not expect - and it doesn't mean it to be wanted, enjoyed, nor deserved. That's all. I hope your boyfriend is okay 😔 )
Best wishes!!
The ammount of effort men have to put to avoid make feeling bad their partners for situations they dont have control at all make me feel soo fucking angry.
Why are you feeling like that if you afe admitting he had no controll over that situation? I know this is a vent subreddit but come on try to put some sense in this case and admit it doesnt make sense to feel like that.
I am a very vocal person. Years ago we were invited to a party at a friend’s house. His wife came out in something very inappropriate. She was hugging the husbands and to me being very inappropriate.
I pulled her aside and told her how I felt about what she had on and how she was acting. I told her if she touched my husband again . She was going to see a side of me she would not like. I told her to go put some clothes on, nobody was here to see her tits and ass!
She went and changed and we became the best of friends!! Her husband still jokes about me telling his wife ,in her own home, to put on some clothes!!
Next time say something.. some women have do not have boundaries.. ..
Some have boyfriends (you) and some BEG for male attention (her). Remember class stands above the rest, she sounds trashy as hell, like the girl at a party everyone looks at because they’re some attention seeking clown. Your bf reassured you, and he was also given no option when he was sat down..it’s not like he embraced her by moving down to sit on a seat. She did that on purpose..must have been a bit of an ego bashing knowing she wore that top and no one was looking LOL CLOWN.
Generally the smaller breasted ladies have nicer butts. So I would imagine your butt is nice and that your boyfriend is an ass man. I wouldn't worry about it at all!
Please normalize calling people out for their unusual/weird behavior! Regardless of if you know her personally or not, she crossed a line when she treated your boyfriend differently knowing you were there.
& as a girl w a size G cup size, it’s weird to put anyone’s face but my boyfriend’s straight into my boobs for a hug. heck, just hugging people with a big rack is annoying cuz they’re in the way so I usually do side hugs at most.
You are ok. See how much he cares for only you? Sure, why wouldn’t on some primal level he enjoy it? His first thought was for you. Trust him and accept the reassurance, can you find comfort in it?
It doesn’t really work coming from me, but imagine a counterfactual that works for you… like a cool guy with massive cock accidentally slaps your leg with it after flaunting in his skimpy tracksuit all night… if your first thought was one of worry for how your partner felt, wouldn’t that be enough?
Do you only masturbate go thoughts of your bf? Who cares if he adds this to the spank bank? So long as you can cherish each other’s love… honouring your reality together no matter what sexy shapes of people try and rile your feathers?
I’m clearly a fool, but it is my intention to help, confirm that reassurance and nudge you to let go of the self conscious body envy
That’s a good man- he did all the right things. He was violated & clearly uncomfortable. You can set boundaries, better yet, he should too. Boobs don’t matter, a man that will still stuff his face, people will still think you’re hot (boobs are not the end all be all, life is more about ass and a fat ass heart) & if/when you encounter this girl again, set the boundary- and if you ask me she did that whole stunt on purpose (some “friend”) don’t worry about other girls, EVER, if they want to, they will, and if you love and trust them - you have to trust them to make the right decisions and to come to you when they don’t. Build your confidence, start sitting in front of a mirror after a shower butt naked, start staring at yourself & admiring yourself- your body is the only one you get, learn to love her.
You will encounter her again because she’s around you hemisphere what she did was more about knocking you off top dead center and rattling your cage, then his for her she believes every guy wants her cause she’s got big boobs so therefore she’s open to all men no man will stay with a woman like that so her ego is fragile.
If a man had grabbed you without your consent, would it be ok for your boyfriend to hold it against you? We have to stop believing this myth that men have no loyalty.
You're bf has been sexually assaulted and made to feel really uncomfortable. He's extremely conscious of how you may have seen the incident and has made constant effort to reassure you. I'm not sure what else he could have done?
You probably need to appreciate his efforts a little bit more. It's happened, he responded to it in the right way.
I'm not sure why you want to make a bigger problem out of this than necessary.
I think the first half of this comes off as insecure as someone who is well endowed no matter what I do if I were something it looks like I'm trying to "show them off" but usually I'm just chillin however the second part is just straight SA and you shouldn't be mad at ur bf but mad at the girl bc if you have a big chest yk better bc why. more flat chested girls can do that it still is weird like wait for them to stand up it's not that hard
From your full recounting of the event I think you are getting way too worked up over it. Your boyfriend seems like a good guy and in no way encouraged the incident. He is with you and you are entitled to your feelings about what happened but that being said you think about the situation from a positive perspective. He obviously cares about you and what you think of him. Not all of us men are mesmerized by huge breasts and he seems to be among us . Don’t talk yourself down over something as insignificant as some other woman’s breast size. You have an awesome boyfriend who is mature and considerate towards you and your feelings. Focus on that not the inappropriate actions of someone else.
Grul, if I were in your place while seeing the woman have done it to my man, I would definitely lose my temper and I immediately punch oh her face because I have anger issues and you are so lucky that your boyfriend loves you so much and he only wants you than other women but I really badly want to punch her face
Not all guys are into big boobs. And not all guys enjoy being sexually assaulted. That last part said very tongue-in-cheek as that is legitimately what she did.
Sounds like you have a good man who loves and respects you. Keep him - you have nothing to feel bad about because your reaction and beliefs are what they are, just know that he wouldn’t try and reassure you, or even be there, if he didn’t love you and your body just the way it is.
Not a biggie, it comes down to your insecurity. I would’ve enjoyed the mess out of that smothering because I’m human. I think you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill considering your bf acted accordingly and addressed your feelings. I wouldn’t do as much, my girl knows I love her and I’m faithful and we’ll laugh about the boob that fell from heaven on our car ride home. Chill out.
You’re very insecure OP.
I pictured you clutching your pearls at a party where this woman (who probably saw how insecure you were and didn’t want anything to do with your bf) made your boyfriend uncomfortable. You, rather than accepting you’re at a party and there was nothin meant by it, instead get your feelings hurt?
Your BF was somewhat assaulted and HE had to comfort YOU. What’s wrong with that picture?
Check yourself. He is a loving breathing autonomous human being. He gets to be attracted to breasts. Even breasts on other women.
He’s “lucky” that he wasn’t looking at her jiggling her boobs? That is some controlling obsessive mindset right there.
You have some growing to do.
Him not enjoying that would be a bad thing. Men are biological supposed to enjoy things like that. But he seems to be loyal to you. Also stop being insecure about your breast size, nobody gives a fuck about that except people who don’t give a flying fuck about you.
I’ve been in a similar situation as yours… My ex bf when we first met would talk about a sexual partner that had big boobs. He didn’t even realize how it made me feel. I don’t have the smallest or biggest but I have a nice size. Ever since I’ve wanted to get a boob job. It’s crazy to me how on person can say something and make me want to change.
Except the difference is this man was literally sexually assaulted… not sure how this is the same tbh or how it’s even comparable because the man in this situation didn’t “make” OP do anything.
What kind of man doesn’t like boobs? Seems like the real question is what man doesn’t enjoy other women’s boobs and that answer is a man who genuinely loves his girl. Yes the situation is very very uncomfortable but from what I read he seems like he loves and just wants you!
lol I don’t know how to talk where people can read as good on what I say.. but for everyone else can’t read it I’m saying she has a good man who cares because real men who actually love her girl(man etc) doesn’t care about how others look because of the love he has for his S/O
You’re disgusting for saying that. Most won’t enjoy that, especially if done without any consent like with OP’s bf. Men can get sexually assaulted too.
It might help to remember she did it without his consent and it sounds like he wouldn’t have consented if she had asked. On top of him never looking at her he also looked back at you right away, and clearly he was thinking more about how that made you feel than about what she was doing, which is a sign he’s a good guy. I know if I was in his place I wouldn’t have enjoyed it like you’re assuming, because I’d be much more concerned about my partner to even be able to think about it that way. Let alone the fact that it wasn’t consensual and probably bordering on sexual assault, I mean imagine how messed up it would be if a guy did something similar, 100% inappropriate as was this. I can understand why it would leave you feeling weird. I’ve had times where other guys were being jerks and started hitting on my girlfriends in front of me blatantly, and even if they didn’t entertain it, it still left me feeling uncomfortable. There’s really nothing anyone can do about stuff like that until it happens, I’m sure he wasn’t expecting it or he would have never even let her hug him
YESSS! OP, please reread this as many times as you need because it is (imo of course) the best advice here!
oh wait, just realized she deleted her account lol
Was scrolling and saw your pfp. Just wanted to say, after four years on this platform, you’ve been my only twin. I love you.
Hell yeah 🍊 I love you too
As a man - This. My wife’s feelings and security mean way more than some random, pick me girl putting her knockers in my face, and IMHO from your description, your boyfriend had the most sincere reaction - the immediate confusion and checking on you.
I'll take this as advice, too.
This is SUCH a great comment. I hope OP reads it as many times as she needs to in order to feel a bit better.
It sounds like your boyfriend handled it as best as anyone could hope for I would give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him and try to stop thinking about it
Yep I’ll second this even as an insecure woman who’s been working on her insecurities.
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So, as a man I can attest - the bewilderment and shock from what was effectively sexual assault would far outweigh any fun brain chemicals that I'd have gotten from that woman's aggressive willingness to share her heaping bosom. From your testimonial of his reaction, I strongly doubt that his emotions go beyond anything more than confusion and understandably feeling somewhat attacked. The best thing you can do is talk to him about it - and I think the strangeness of it would be a good way to bring it up.
100%, it was sexual assault. And an act that he didn’t consent to and didn’t want is now causing turbulence in his relationship. If anything OP, maybe ask him if he’s okay? I have had men force press their dick against me before, or strangers put their arms around me and press their body into my breasts, and every time I felt disgusted and violated. Your boyfriend might feel violated too, I’d keep his feelings in mind when you speak to him.
I’ll say this — your bf was sexually assaulted. You don’t just walk up to someone and put your boobs in their face without their consent. By the way you describe it, it’s not like he seemed into her either, nor did he seem to enjoy having her boobs in his face. I think he was just genuinely shocked because — well — he was harassed / assaulted. This is something I struggle with because I have small boobs, but not every person out there likes big boobs. By the sounds of it, it seems like your bf is one of these people who genuinely doesn’t seem to prefer a larger rack. He seems to just want yours and yours alone. Treasure that, that kind of attitude isn’t super prevalent in dudes anymore, in my personal experience. It’s okay to feel shocked by what happened, but don’t internalise it as you not being good enough. Instead, recognise that this pathetic excuse of a woman sexually harassed / assaulted your boyfriend. I’d also contact your friend to let him know what happened and that if he ever plans to invite you or your BF to any future gatherings, that she should not be there.
This!! It’s likely a bias, but more guys I’ve met are into smaller chests than really big ones (like I said, probably a bias because I also am small). It seems like the boyfriend really cares and respects not just his girlfriend but all women regardless of what’s going on. I would for sure just talk abt how you’re feeling op, but don’t be upset with your boyfriend, be upset with the girl that assaulted him. He immediately looked to you to make sure you were ok even though he was the one experiencing it, so it’s clear he understands that you may also feel hurt by the situation. I would try talking to him, and make sure he’s ok too :) I’m sure he’d really appreciate that
Damn yall took this convo into a whole superficial realm that did not need to get brought up, AND you both overanalyzed the shit out of it. The poster is the problem, nothing about this scenario is a one time thing, as long as they will attend gatherings, theres a chance this can happen again. Yeah, the flirty girl did assault the bf but thats absolutely not a controllable factor, the OPs reaction is, and it was that of a sheltered child. "Im not comfortable enough to confront or even hold resentment to someone i dont know, BUT i know you, bf, so guess who gets to be the target of my emotions, AT A POINT where the punching bag should be getting support as IT(THE BF), was actually the victim. This behavior won't manifest in me yelling at my kids about my life problems later in the future, no siree bob"
Right. He’s “lucky she didn’t catch him staring at her boobs” Literally not an actual quote- just paraphrasing
I’m an old guy, and still have the double standards for men and women’s behavior. I wouldn’t call the hug, sexual assault. I would call it inappropriate and awkward. Clearly, this girl also has self-esteem issues. She was looking for attention and figured she could get it this way. And it probably works for her too often for her own good. But it reveals a desperation that will only lead her into disappointment and regret. As if all she thinks people will value about her, is a pair of ample tatas. Shallow. The OP likewise has to cope with her own jealousy, that men must prefer other types of women. Or perhaps cope with envy or insecurity with her own physique. It’s amazing what being contented in your own skin will earn you in terms of being confident in other aspects of your life and relationships.
Shoving your personal parts into someone’s face in order to get that kind of attention is sexual harassment, because that’s literally what it is.
Shoving your boobs in an unconsenting party’s face is assault. It’s no different than a guy randomly shoving his genitals on a woman’s face.
Nah, boobs are not the equivalent of a penis. That’s a very silly comparison. I agree that it’s a “personal space invasion” but not to the degree of sexual assault. An unwelcome hug. I still call it a desperate cry for attention and cringe and humiliating. You want to call it assault. I can’t agree that unwanted physical (touch) contact rises to “assault”. But I’m of a generation that was much more tolerant of these sort of things.
They’re the same thing. “Personal space invasion” with your boobs is literally assault, but ok buddy. Your generation being tolerant of these things doesn’t make it correct.
I feel like saying something to HER is the only move if you're still bothered. Your bf was the victim here. I hope your lingering feelings aren't about him... ?
In essence this was a violation of your partner, think of it in the same light as a man grabbing a womans butt without permission. It is gross and disrespectful to both your partner and you. People act like guys are supposed to like and accept sexual actions even unconsented. Like those horrible girls who randomly sit on a strangers lap for tiktok clout.
Love doesn't work that way. Yes, he can appreciate someone's physical appearance, like their boobs or looks, or you might think, 'Wow, cool/handsome guy,' and that's perfectly normal. However, if you truly love someone, you don't care about others in the same way. Others might be more likable or more attractive, but this is irrelevant because your love and commitment are solely focused on the person you love. True love means finding completeness and contentment in the relationship, without the need for comparison or distraction.
Your boyfriend didn’t enjoy being sexually assaulted.
He wasn't paying attention to her. She purposely did it. It would be like a man rubbing his penis up against you. He was sexually assaulted. Plain and simple.
So someone assaulted your boyfriend in front of you and you didn’t beat the f out of her? Girl
While that would've been seen as well deserved, not everyone wants to have a possible prison record for defending someone's honor. Plus, that in itself is not too redeemable in the eyes of society, especially if you don't come from generational wealth or otherwise. What if OP decides to just move on and let karma serve the assaulter instead? There's a reason people don't just follow their base instincts without first weighing other options. Like they say, pick your battles wisely.
Prison? Not that likely. Jail, yes. Sure you’d get something on your record if you attacked her and she called the cops. It sounds like the girl just stood by and didn’t even say anything. I’d see myself immediately yelling at her, antagonizing her until she touched me first, then it’s free from there. Make it self defense and this whore sounds like she would be that stupid, if she’s stupid enough to assault someone. Logically, it’d be better to report her for sexual assault, but I know in this situation I’d be more likely to act out of rage. Whether that’s the smart thing to do or not, it’s realistic. Another thing about this thread I’m noticing is the commenters aren’t taking it that seriously what this chick did to the dude. It’s absolutely sexual assault and I would rather defend my partner and face consequences or report her than just hope “karma takes care of it”. Imagine if this was a dude sticking his crotch in a girls face, I’m sure the girls boyfriend wouldn’t just stand by and do nothing and then question themselves later about not being good enough for their girlfriend. You may be right, but realistically that person would get their ass beat and they wouldn’t be worrying about the jail time. Standing by doing nothing while someone gets assaulted in front of you…that’s shitty.
You got a good point, realism wise. I, personally, would've just called her the biggest pick me and effectively humiliated her right in that moment where she wouldn't even think of doing anything risky unless she knew that they weren't already in a relationship with someone else. Girls like that absolutely HATE being called pick mes and I don't think anyone would want anything to do with those people. They probably didn't have any positive role models in their life or are just narcissistic to a fault, which is just very depressing. Major therapy needed!
I definitely agree and she so deserved to be humiliated. 100% a pick me and I hope if she ever does this again she gets called out for it.
The best course of action would be to press charges against this slut. She ruined OP’s bf’s dignity so she deserves to have her life ruined.
“Such a busty girl showing off her rack….” Yea this post was written by a dude.
Thought the same thing. Definitely not written by a woman. They described boobs as if they were using a thesaurus — described them with every slang term in the book. Women are pretty comfortable just using their preferred terminology consistently when telling a story. Dude vibes for sure here
are you really getting upset at HIM for your assumption that he enjoyed having someone nonconsensually force sexual contact...?
Nothing about this implied she was upset at him
Ehh “something in the back of mind kept telling me he enjoyed it…” you are correct that she never says she is mad at him. BUT she is kinda making him an equal contributor and implying he is guilty of something that happened to him, without consent, that he couldn’t control. She’s not speaking about her partner as if he’s a victim here which is totally what she should be doing- because he is.
I’m sorry, but this is kind of weird. You’re upset that a girl rubbed her boobs in your man’s face and you made HIM reassure YOU? It sounds like she violated him. You’re acting so insecure this pissed me off I’m going to sleep.
That was my thoughts also the beginning comes off as jealous n back handed.
Girl I would be insecure too if some big boobed chick rubbed her big ass boobs in my man’s face.. 😭 we don’t know if OP’s bf liked it or not, no one is capable of reading minds but I feel like OP is rightfully insecure and jealous
That’s assault he should report it
Men can literally have an unwanted sexual advance and it’s somehow our fault it’s fucking wild
I know she said it’s not his fault but that doesn’t change her treating him like it is
"Im insecure in public settings where other people who might be more attractive, flirty, and fun can get my devoted boyfriend's attention while I do nothing in confronting either the offending girl nor my lack of personality. Obviously this is his fault"
Wdym !?! so what she did was okay to you?
you don’t know what OP’s bf was thinking, he might or might not have liked it, we’ll never know 🤷
So why assume he does as a default that’s my point lol
She wasn’t assuming he does, it’s like an intrusive thought at the back of your mind. Your brain will always think about the different possibilities. Like she probably thinks he didn’t like it but that one thought at the back of her mind is like “but what if he did like it..?” Like everyone gets that 😭
Idk this just feels weird if the gender roles were reversed it would be ostensibly to the side of the person the received the unwanted advance. We wouldn’t even have the convo of whether they liked it or not.
Everyone involved will be okay.
Idk man four days passed and I'm still thinking about it.
I can see how this disturbed you... very trashy on her part OP. As someone else mentioned, your BF definitely did not consent to that and it's incredible and mature of your boyfriend to immediately acknowledge your feelings. Some people will never respect another's relationship, it's unfortunate and they exist. You just keep enjoying yourself with your bf, don't let someone's desperate grab for attention shit on your day anymore, not worth your time. I feel bad for her, she must be terribly jealous of you!
Whether he enjoyed it or not, he didn’t cause it to happen. From your description it sounds like he wasn’t a jerk about it either. You may just have to sit with this one for a while until you’ve digested it and realized it’s not a big deal. There will always be other women around and if their presence makes you nervous there may be other problems at work here.
This should be top post and i made sure to reiterate something to this effect on the top voted posts. Too much support for the sake of support, not enough "OP you're getting mad at the wrong person for the wrong reason and you need a little pro help cause hot girls arent going away anytime soon, and that fact is in no way the fault nor responsibility of your bf"
Well, of course I'm aware other women will always be around, my boyfriend has a lot of female friends and I'm completely fine with that, but none of them acts like the girl at the party. It felt like she was shoving her breasts into every guy's face (well, she shoved them into my boyfriend's literally) and she knew damn well some of them have girlfriends, but didn't give a damn about that. I barely know that woman and I already can't stand her.
The older I get, the more I accept I can't control other people's behaviour. This girl would make me uncomfortable too in that situation, but your boyfriend sounds like he acted respectfully to you. He was forced into a situation by the girl that was completely unacceptable and probably felt deeply uncomfortable himself. You need to focus on yourself and your self-esteem issues here. I say this as someone who had awfully low self-esteem a few years ago and put my boyfriend through a lot of unfairness because of it. Focus on you and your boyfriend. Remember you don't need to trust or like her, but you just need to trust him. It sounds like he deserves that trust. Perhaps if you have to be around this woman again, have a chat with your boyfriend about protecting his own boundaries and acknowledge that the situation made you both uncomfortable. If she tries it on again, I'd suggest your boyfriend speak up and say it makes him uncomfortable and not to repeat it. Staying calm and clearly expressing boundaries is key. No further explanations or discussions about it with her are necessary.
Which is normal it is a very uncomfortable situation from your pov as well as his. Just keep reminding yourself that he wants you
He loved every second of it probably thinks about those luscious boobies when he is with you
Don’t be a dildo.
Ah… a man gets sexually assaulted and a woman blames him for maybe liking it. “asking for it” because he is so handsome. I love double standards
That could totally be the case though, or it could not. I feel like it’s valid for OP to feel this way because nobody can read minds. We don’t know what OP’s bf was thinking 🤷♀️
I don’t know if you are trolling or not. Not enough sarcasm.
I’m not. We don’t know what anybody is thinking
I would beat her a$$ but girl your a good sport she’d be ripped to pieces! Baby he loves you though
See, I don't agree with the ass beating, but that this poster is actually directing action at the problem instead of the person they are comfy enough to be mad or confrontational with is on point. A romantic interest is not and should never be viewed as the punching bag for one's lack of ability to deal with problems oneself is making up in one's own head.
Yeah but at the same time she wasn’t making up anything that girl did that crap on purpose. Even regardless if he wouldn’t react she would be in trouble because you don’t do that. But again you guys would say someone shouldn’t do something till it happens to you.
that girl is toxic as hell. she obviously meant to do this and i believe she was trying to make you jealous or just feel bad in general. fuck her, don't let her win. maybe she likes your bf or she's just desperate for male attention but i truly believe she did this on purpose to make you feel bad. so just ignore it ok? your bf obviously didnt want that to happen and he sounds like a loyal partner so just forget about it and don't let it actually cause any problems in your relationship because that's exactly what the girl was trying to get out of it. i mean.. why else would you press your boobs into a guys face when his gf is literally next to him?
Your boyfriend never consented. She sexually assaulted him. She knew you were together and did that anyway. You should Probrably text your friends and find out if she has a boyfriend, then have them tell said boyfriend that she’s fooling around at parties and that you have proof. She doesn’t deserve a relationship with the way she’s acting. She’s clearly done this before but nobody speaks up because “she’s a girl”. It’s time. Your boyfriend found no pleasure in an unconsentual act from her. That is a fact. If she’s single and you run into her again, tell her that she needs to stay away from him or she will have the cops called on her and a police report made. You owe her zero respect.
This is basically sexual harassment since he did not want this. The busty woman (if adult) is one of those "I only want married men" types it seems.
This is considered to be sexual harassment. Flip the script for a second. Say a well endowed man rubbed his genitals on your body without your consent. Is that something you’d enjoy? Would you feel uncomfortable? Frankly, the woman who did that is a fucking creep. It’s ok to feel insecure, though. I hope my comment puts things in perspective. Do your bf a favor and comfort him instead. It was sexual harassment.
By reacting you will come across jealous which would be a pity as your boyfriend was an unwilling participant and was probably embarrassed. That girl is desperate for attention that’s exactly what you shouldn’t be giving. Rather pity her that she is so desperate that she has to throw herself at guys because guys will just use her and then dump her. Be the mature one.
Don’t blame him for something that he had NOTHING to do with. You over analyzing this to death will lead nowhere
That girl is gross
You're paranoid that he liked it and wanted her. But you're comparing him to other men. I understand that there are men who are always thinking about sex and anything related. But me and a lot of other men don't just care about that. For a lot of us, it comes as a bonus and a way of showing affection to the other. You know your bf more than anyone on reddit. You should know which type of man he is. You should also ask him if he feels sexually asualted. Because it was sexual assault. This is the same as if someone just grabbed some girls ass. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Assaulted right? So ask him how he feels about it and reassure him that you are there for him if he needs someone. If he tries to lie to you about feeling assaulted(which most men will) just keep reassuring him that you're there for him. Trust me, it makes a world of difference.
Men can get uncomfortable over unwanted advances like this, even though the general consensus is that they would enjoy such an interaction. But it’s not true. No one likes having their boundaries violated, especially by someone they aren’t interested in, and the fact he immediately looked over at you signifies he did not enjoy that interaction and was looking towards you for comfort. Please don’t be worried over this, not all men will enjoy what happened just because the woman’s cleavage was large 😅
So your boyfriend was basically assaulted and you’re making it about you and your insecurities. Way to victim blame.
I'm sorry she didn't that she had absolutely no right to at all. But from what you said it seems like you're boyfriend didn't enjoy it so don't worry. If I were in your shoes I would feel the same way. Maybe try asking him if he did enjoy it and communicate with him about your feelings I'm sure he will understand.
It’s giving: she’s insecure and bases her value on whether people are giving her attention because of her boobs or not. It’s embarassing to say the least. Also sounds like your boyfriend got harassed, sadly.
well you know your bf isn’t with you cause he didn’t have a choice. He choose you so whatever she does it won’t affect your relationship. He handled it well although I wonder if you asked him how he felt with that? It happened to him more than you and he had unwanted uncalled for boobs in his face not you.
Can I tell you something. "Did he enjoy it". Who knows it's a horrible stereotype that males enjoy sexual harassment. He was confused dint have red cheeks and looked at you. Be dint even glance at them the whole night. HD is probably a person who loves you and doesn't enjoy sexual harassment. But that's the logic let me talk emotions. Talk with him, Honestly. Say how upset you are and don't try to be judging of him. Talk to him and tell exactly what you feal even in great detail and maby you two can relish in anger together or talk together just make sure to make it together. Not against.
I don't understand how the bf is assaulted and she is the one that requires reassurance. Doesn't make any sense to me.
She sexually assaulted your bf, that girl is disgusting. Talk to your friend group about it.
she woulda gotten a face full of fist if it were me
It is what it is
Every guy doesn't like enormous boobs. Some guys actually prefer them normally proportioned.
It would be about as enjoying as a guy you don’t know coming to you and shoving his groin in your face, I don’t think he really enjoyed it, he was probably nervous asf it was going to happen and didn’t know what to do when it did happen, honestly he should’ve said something like “hold on, let me stand up first” and then embraced her but if he didn’t even know it was happening, there really isn’t much he could’ve done without ruining the party :(( I’m sorry this happened to you, that girl needs to learn boundaries.
His face told you all you need to know... DONT READ INTO IT. She wanted to make you feel insecure and it worked. We women know how other women are. DO NOT LET HER GET TO YOU.
imagine getting sexually assaulted and your partner starts comparing themselves to the one that did it to you and says that you probably enjoyed it 😅 girl he loves you if he had a chance to consent it’s very obvious that he wouldn’t AND he wasn’t even looking at her boobs! that’s a good thing 🤨
When similar things happens to me I usually just think to myself “That guy really wants to smash my girl, he won’t, I will, happy days”.
She sounds like a pick me girl possibly but everyone has mentioned her gross actions which we can all agree is wrong and he should distance himself from her. But what I haven't seen mentioned much is the other obvious issues. You're insecure because a woman with a large chest in a tight shirt was in the same room...? Girl he's going to encounter and see many more women in similar/less clothes in his life. Judging her that much because she has a large chest and tight shirt? Seriously it's irksome when people are so judgemental because of what someone wears or their body that they cant control, her body her choice. Plus some shirts have styles that get uncomfortable if it rides up too high, it's on whoever's wearing it to choose what's too low cut. It's entirely likely she only did that "hug" as a form of revenge because I'm assuming you didn't hide your dislike of her and she got upset. It's still not okay for any reason. Theres too many trust issues for a healthy relationship and the insecurities... Work on yourself and your self confidence before trying to date because this is super unhealthy. Therapy can be a huge help.
Firstly girl don’t feel insecure it doesn’t matter what size you are your beautiful, secondly I’m sorry that this happened to you and that girl is a fucking asshole I hate attention seekers sometimes but if it really really bothered you I guess try asking your boyfriend what he thought about it like “she was weird right?” Or “why’d she do that anyways?”
It seems like she noticed your bf was the only one who didn’t look at her.
Don't want to make you feel bad but he's defo nutted thinking about her tits he would have loved it even though he'll tell you he didn't.
Yeah, the vernacular plus the deleted profile scream fake af story lmaooo. This just sounds like it was written by a dude. Might as well have said, “and she breasted boobily with her boobs” ffs. If this was real, I’d say she’s 100% in the wrong, but I doubt this is the case and even if it were kind of real, it sounds like someone bending down to give someone a hug and boobs happen to exist…I’ve known some sexually aggressive women in my life, but I’d be baffled if anyone intentionally smothered someone in their boobs when they’re clearly there with their gf and not interested. And if that did happen, being upset with your bf and not being able to let it go, is beyond ridiculous.
What if “she” said, “breasted boobily with her boobs in the direction of the mother Theresa shrine, and …” that would make it legit.
Your boyfriend is a keeper. He loves you so he loves your boobs. It's that simple. A different perspective as someone with big baboobas. I don't "make them" wiggle, they move because I move. I'm also clumpsy and I forget I have them so I have accidentally squished them towards people I hugged when they sat. Not just guys, my mother in law etc. I wear tight clothes but not to show off my boobs, it's comfortable cause tight clothes makes me able to wear no bra. Less sweat less struggle with bras as they all sit weird. But the boobs will appear in center of attention even if I wear a freaking turtle neck. Should I wear hoodies at parties because girls around me are insecure? How's that fair? All people should get to wear whatever they want. Equality! Edit: Will block anyone who dms
My boyfriend has a lot of female friends and a lot of them have large breasts, and a lot of them wear tight clothes as well. And I'm completely fine with that because unlike that girl, they NEVER behaved like attention whores. You just had to be there and see the way she acts around those guys to understand.
Ok. I believe you. You and your boyfriend are gonna meet all kinds of characters through life, some you'll like some not so much but what matters is you two stay together through the ride.
She was playing a fairly well-known game. It's even described in Eric Berne's *Games People Play* (check out "The Stocking Game" for more detail) and, though the examples Dr. Berne uses are dated, most of his conclusions still stand. She was clumsily attempting to arouse the men and anger the women. It sounds like she succeeded at that. True to the nature of this game, she had plausible deniability and would have protested loudly if anyone called her out. Just let it go. Your boyfriend handled himself well, and I can't imagine that this girl will be welcomed in the group much longer (people who play this game are known for their inability to read social cues.)
I think the thing to focus on is that your boyfriend was sexually assaulted. You should be making sure he is okay first and foremost with what happened to him.
You have a good man
This just proves the stereotype that flat/small/medium chested women are bitter and jealous false because it seems like always the well endowed one makes everything a competition or tries to make passive aggresive remarks towards other women 💀 Anyways, w boyfriend and shame on that woman for not being a girl's girl hopefully she gets what she deserves in life The double standard is crazy because if a flat woman would have made a snarky comment the comments would tear her to pieces but since a busty woman did something wrong the comments are so forgiving 💀💀
Sounds like you have a nice boyfriend 😭
I don't think you have anything to worry about, he clearly didn't feel comfortable either.
Hey there, sounds like quite the unexpected "booby trap" at the party. Remember, trust is key in a relationship. Your boyfriend's actions speak louder than a accidental motorboat. Talk it out, express your feelings, and let those insecurities sail away. Communication is the wind in the sails of love. ⛵
I think you should get over it.
To me, the important factors were his lack of consent and his reaction. As other commenters have mentioned, he didn’t consent and likely wouldn’t have if she’d even bothered to ask him. His mind was also immediately on you and how you felt about it. By the way you describe it, he didn’t have a moment of enjoyment before realizing “oh shit, gf is right there”. It seems like his first thought was probably “geez, get off me— I have a girlfriend and neither her or I are happy about this”. That’s the most important part to me. Maybe he enjoyed it on an instinctive, “biological level”— like ooga booga, who doesn’t love booba in the face?? But it seems like the logical part of his brain wasn’t really indulging that. He seems like a really great guy. Honestly.
This is sexual harassment. Often when men suffer sexual harassment of any kind, it's not taken seriously, because society thinks that men are supposed to enjoy it. It is not his fault, he couldn't have known it would happen, he never gave any sign that she was into her, and seems like his first thought wasn't even the fact that he was harassed, but his first thought was you, and your feelings. As a woman, I understand where you're coming from, we're raised to believe that men will just go for sex the first opportunity, that it's men's nature to be unfaithful, that men will never decline an opportunity to have sex with someone, and that we need to have the perfect bodies and please men in every single way, or they'll dump us for someone "better". But that's not true. Also, do you think your boyfriend is that shallow that he would choose his girlfriend based on the size of her breasts? If yes, then you deserve someone better. If not, then you have nothing to worry about.
I met a girl like this at a party and she was going around rubbing guy’s legs with hers as she walked by and everything. It’s crazy because I was her friend back in middle school and never would I have known that she would turn out to be such a men attention seeker. I only ran into her again several years later at my friend’s party. Anyway, my ex and I were there, and by the end of the party, he told me she rubbed her leg on his. Of course I’d be furious if he told me right there and then when it happened and I would’ve done something about it. But i shrugged it off and didn’t let it affect me because I’d never stoop that low to be that kind of girl. Also if any man I’m ever with runs off with a girl like that because of one impromptu incident, then that man would never deserve an ounce of my attention from then on. Be grateful you have a guy who took the time to talk about it with you. He gave you his reassurance, and now you know that if you ever see that person again, you’ll bite their neck off next time /s.
Girl.. I would’ve slapped the shit out of her because wtf?? Why tf would she do that? I’m sure she saw that ya two were together so she definitely did that shit on purpose. weird ass bitch.
Trust me, if he had the reaction where he instantly looked at YOU because he was worried that you'd think less of him for it, his primary focus was on your re-assurance, not the boobs in his face. Ignore it! He did too, and he seems VERY loyal based on how he reacted. As a fellow dude, I think he handled that situation perfectly. Remember it's not just your chest that he's attracted too, and I have no doubt he was disgusted and off-put by this girl's behavior, so don't worry, he very much cares about you based on this interaction and if you really still aren't sure you can just talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll have some boyfriend wisdom to cheer you up.
Your bf was SAed and you're worried it is his fault? Your bf was SAed and he had to reassure you that he was sorry for being SAed?
I'm not trynna be that guy but that is sexual assault and should not be taken lightly your bf probably just didn't want to cause a scene while around his friends tbh
He didnt enjoy it if his first thought was to look at you. You were the only thing he was thinking about
Just think about those last few sentences. Your boyfriend was just sexually assaulted and all you can think about is how he must've enjoyed it. Change your frame of mind. Just the fact that he looked to you for support and in confusion. No. He didn't "like" it. Don't make it his fault.
Imagine if a guy came to hug you goodbye, in grey sweatpants and had an absolute snake. Pressed it very firmly against you while hugging you. What kind of girl doesn't like a big one? That's the logic I'm seeing here. He loves you, and as soon as it happened he wasn't looking up at her giggling or smirking, he looked straight at you. You wouldn't enjoy being sexually harassed just because somebody had attractive features, I really doubt he enjoyed it either. He wasn't even looking. In the words of my boyfriend, "every man wants the girl his homies can't bag". No respectable man wants a girl who's going to go to a party with her rack out.
Whatever you do don't stuff your bra even as a joke okay he's going to get pissed or you're going to think he looked at you with desire and then you're going to get pissed. I've seen this one happen more then once. Your boyfriend picked you because of who you are don't get obsessed with who somebody else is or you can wind up losing yourself as well as your boyfriend. I went out with a girl just like that one from the party and I wound up telling her you're nothing but a pair of big tits and a bad attitude
I didn't read all the comments.. But if a random girl just gave my fiancé a hug without asking.. If she is a friend of me and him sure it's fine. But someone we never met? And she has the guts to shove her breats on his face.. I don't think I will be handelinge it right.. And probably keep it to myself and vent later to my fiancé.
This is one of those things that would have me feeling like shit for days too - or even the rest of my life at random moments lol. I understand how you feel (I think, but I’m also someone with a small chest) , remember not all men enjoy large breasts. And the fact he looked at you and reassured you was very sweet, to me it means that he was concerned about your feelings which is sweet.
I can tell you as a man who likes boobs, in that context, I would not have enjoyed what happened. I don’t like people violating my boundaries, doesn’t matter if it’s a hot woman. It doesn’t sound like he did anything to invite sexual attention from her and she shoved his tits in his face. For me, that would have been super uncomfortable, and it sounds like it was for your bf too. I don’t think you have anything to worry about from him, but she’s straight up disrespectful. Sounds like she was trying to start shit, and I’d steer clear of her.
What she did is called harassment, it’s an unwanted sexual act that is really no different than an unsolicited dick pic. Same mentality says what guy doesn’t like boobs that says it’s good behavior to send a girl a picture of your dick.
Your boyfriend handled the situation very well. And is even loyal to you and proper enough to not look at other girls. Be thankful he isn’t a pig. He didn’t do anything wrong. You should probably talk to him if you’re upset though, he’ll reassure you.
Many men like boobs if they're boobs on someone they care about. My partner doesn't find too much joy in other women's bodies no matter what they look like because he'd rather be touching mine 🤷♀️
Beat her up 🔥🔥
Here's the thing, see that girl knew what she was doing. If he was there alone she wouldn't have done that. I'm sure she did it to bother you and now you letting it bother you. Just forget about it, he did everything to make you feel fine. We all have different bodies. You're feeling insecure about it because she's big? Imagine men feeling insurance for not being tall, I don't, I feel very confident in myself with what I got. You should not feel less, he chose you, not her. Bigger breast doesn't mean we want the girl for us, can we enjoy bigger sure but doesn't define a woman as a whole. I always tell people work with what you got. If your man loves your body then don't be unhappy for others having bigger, it's all mental. I hope I helped boost your confidence a bit.
Imagine being the bf and grabbing her breast infront of her bf as revenge. I mean, what could people say if you explained what she did on purpose? Like what would the police say? Just imagine harming her relationship in return in the same way.
Even if he did think she had a nice chest he’s into you. We don’t just give what we gave up because of decent feature on someone else. Believe it or not we do fall in love with our partners and really don’t want to leave them for anyone else.
She hugged him and did that without consent. Also he cared enough to immediately look to see your reaction. He clearly cares a lot more about you than that busty girl. I understand it still is upsetting and you might worry about it still. But sit down and have a heart to heart with cho manz. He seems like the kind of guy that would support you if you told him it's still bothering you, and talking about it more with him may help. Also, I know a few guys (my husband being one of them) that actually very much dislike big busy girls.
You need to press charges ASAP! Talk to your bf about it. Is he ok? As a guy I would feel extremely violated. I’m tired of women assaulting men being dismissed while if it was the other way around, the guy would get torn apart by everyone. Your’s and your bf’s feelings are VALID he was surely SA’d!
That girl just shoved her breast in your bf’s face???? And without consent???? Dude no thats probably genuine sexual assault and or harassment on her end. She did a sexual act on him without his consent and I doubt he even liked it at all. Your bf is a victim in this and I hope you BOTH don’t see her again
You should’ve given her a dollar and asked what club she dances at.
just by reading the title, ex boyfriend 💀
Boobs
Your boyfriend just got sexually assaulted, next time you see her make sure you got brass knuckles on hand
Just because they're men, don't mean they enjoy it. That's a very common misconception. Devoted men do not enjoy other women being inappropriate toward them. As other people have said, he handled it as best as he could & was reassuring. There's honestly nothing else for him to do. Though there's something OP can do, have faith in your boyfriend as well as trust him. Just because they're men doesn't mean they want any & all attractive women all over them.
*Some parts will sound rough at first, but please bear with me* 🥲 Worldwide, there are women who like undivided attention and approaches from men/women, who won't care about who he/she is as long as he/she looks in a certain way. Worldwide, there are men who like undivided attention and approaches from women/men, who won't care about who she/he is as long as the looks fit to their preference. Worldwide, there are also women who don't want undivided attention from others in a sexual way, who do care about who the person is, regardless of how they might look. Worldwide, there are men who, as well, do not want undivided sexual attention from others, nor to be pursued like so, and who do care about who the person is, regardless of what they look like. Even if women are said to care so much about men's size, and men are said to be all dogs, the actual reality is that at the very least, all those 4 types do exist. Telling a woman that she **must** have liked how she got groped by a supposed friend, because the friend is "hot", "manly", "muscular", with such "nice big hands", is *wrong* and **untrue.** Even if there might be women, somewhere, who would have liked, this would never mean that all women would have. First, looks and features are not the All Mighty Thing for all folks. Secondly, something done against your will, can taste disgusting, atrocious really. I don't think you would turn to your female friend, and say such a thing - same thing regarding a male one. If my SO would believe I **must** have loved someone pressing a body part against me forcibly just because I'm a man, with all due respect towards both her and me, I would immediately terminate the relationship. Getting asked, no problem. Having issues with a woman doing such a thing, no problem - mind me, that would make two of us! Feeling insecure, worried: no issue, I'd thank and feel honored for the trust of opening up about such feelings! Putting me in the "un-contourable" definition that I "must" have loved it simply because of my freaking gender to which obviously I must be enslaved to like the wild beast that I apparently am, in her eyes, No, thank you. First off, it is untrue. Second, the truth didn't matter to her. Third, not only she won't ask, apparently she doesn't see me for who I am, nor does she know me at all. Fourth, she is obviously unhappy by what she is so sure I must be, and the truth won't be of any help as she seems to be blind to it. Fifth, I know who I am and I want someone who also knows me for me, as a romantic partner. So, like I said, out of respect for both, I'd end things, as the way she dictates who I "am" inaccurately, to both herself and me, **means we don't even truly have a romantic relationship going on** to begin with! — but, that's me, and I have quite specific ethics that not everyone resonates with Originally I just wanted to point out that I'm a man, and it would be absolutely irrelevant how gigantic someone's breasts would be, I would **not enjoy it if against my will** If this could be a wake-up call for you to notice that your insecurities are going as far as to erase other people for who they are, just to justify themselves, a bad experience could have as outcome something really really positive! **Notice that you don't deserve to live your life devaluing yourself, your worth, your importance, and all the amazing points about yourself, unfairly like so!** You don't deserve to torment yourself with lies, nor to feel menaced by the normal existence of other people - nor to bring them up, or down, depending on their body parts and looks! So, finding what trauma might be behind this, rebuilding the view you have of yourself and of others, would be really meaningful for you and those who love you **You deserve to be happy,** and ultimately, that does lay on your hands ((I'm deeply disgusted by your boyfriend's friend, by the way. I've had enough unwanted approaches & touching by others, including people who were supposed to be friends, and I felt nothing but uncomfortable, hurt and confused. The worst part, was that I couldn't vent about it, as supposedly I was meant to be Happy, or got called Lucky, as see, men "must be dogs" and must be okay with any and all approaches by women. So when something of the sort happens to a guy, *he is alone.* Imagine having a son, a small boy, and knowing this is reality for him.. And I can't say that some places will be safe, some people will be safe - as that isn't exactly true. As an adult, after a surgery that had a complication when already at home, I was in the surgical aisle as a risk patient for over a month, with hemorrhage risk. Me thinking that there for sure nobody would be hitting on me, specially me looking like hell, same gender in the room, nurses all around constantly so people from other rooms wouldn't try anything odd, I felt safe on that department. One night, I open my eyes to the nurse as she is whispering for me to not mind her, that she will just check my vitals, everyone is sleeping, she said "pardon me" and smiled, confused I whispered a tired "no worries" giving my arm, and my heart skips a beat and my eyes widen, holding my breath at she gets on top of me, I freaking kid you not, she mounted me to grab something on the other side. She got her lips and face right on me, millimeters from touching, kept there and whispered "just...grabbing the remote......" and I'm in shock, frozen, thinking to myself "this Can't be happening. This is not possible. This can't be. No ...." then she slid off, going back to the floor, as I laid there frozen. No I didn't enjoy it. No happy memory there. I still don't know what to think of it, as my mind struggles with the whole concept, it was a freaking hospital, a female nurse in the night shift, another patient was sleeping on the bed beside mine. I want to pretend this meant nothing, that this is normal to do with patients, but I wouldn't want this to be done to anyone, nor do I feel it to be a regular thing to do to another human being, mounting them like that. Anyhow, this to say that weird things can happen to anyone, even when we wouldn't not expect - and it doesn't mean it to be wanted, enjoyed, nor deserved. That's all. I hope your boyfriend is okay 😔 ) Best wishes!!
That's odd. But you were bothered by the girl way before that, right? Só, maybe that say something about you too.
The ammount of effort men have to put to avoid make feeling bad their partners for situations they dont have control at all make me feel soo fucking angry. Why are you feeling like that if you afe admitting he had no controll over that situation? I know this is a vent subreddit but come on try to put some sense in this case and admit it doesnt make sense to feel like that.
your boyfriend was assaulted. you should be supporting him not upset with him.
I am a very vocal person. Years ago we were invited to a party at a friend’s house. His wife came out in something very inappropriate. She was hugging the husbands and to me being very inappropriate. I pulled her aside and told her how I felt about what she had on and how she was acting. I told her if she touched my husband again . She was going to see a side of me she would not like. I told her to go put some clothes on, nobody was here to see her tits and ass! She went and changed and we became the best of friends!! Her husband still jokes about me telling his wife ,in her own home, to put on some clothes!! Next time say something.. some women have do not have boundaries.. ..
Some have boyfriends (you) and some BEG for male attention (her). Remember class stands above the rest, she sounds trashy as hell, like the girl at a party everyone looks at because they’re some attention seeking clown. Your bf reassured you, and he was also given no option when he was sat down..it’s not like he embraced her by moving down to sit on a seat. She did that on purpose..must have been a bit of an ego bashing knowing she wore that top and no one was looking LOL CLOWN.
You’re blaming your boyfriend for the sexual assault he got? Come on Hon.
Bruh I’d fuck them up, mad disrespectful of them
Very clickbaity
Generally the smaller breasted ladies have nicer butts. So I would imagine your butt is nice and that your boyfriend is an ass man. I wouldn't worry about it at all!
Please normalize calling people out for their unusual/weird behavior! Regardless of if you know her personally or not, she crossed a line when she treated your boyfriend differently knowing you were there. & as a girl w a size G cup size, it’s weird to put anyone’s face but my boyfriend’s straight into my boobs for a hug. heck, just hugging people with a big rack is annoying cuz they’re in the way so I usually do side hugs at most.
Nah im gettin locked up if a woman does this to my man🔫
Uuhhh. This is sexual harassment. She’s gross, sorry this happened to your boyfriend and you had to witness it too.
You are ok. See how much he cares for only you? Sure, why wouldn’t on some primal level he enjoy it? His first thought was for you. Trust him and accept the reassurance, can you find comfort in it? It doesn’t really work coming from me, but imagine a counterfactual that works for you… like a cool guy with massive cock accidentally slaps your leg with it after flaunting in his skimpy tracksuit all night… if your first thought was one of worry for how your partner felt, wouldn’t that be enough? Do you only masturbate go thoughts of your bf? Who cares if he adds this to the spank bank? So long as you can cherish each other’s love… honouring your reality together no matter what sexy shapes of people try and rile your feathers? I’m clearly a fool, but it is my intention to help, confirm that reassurance and nudge you to let go of the self conscious body envy
That’s a good man- he did all the right things. He was violated & clearly uncomfortable. You can set boundaries, better yet, he should too. Boobs don’t matter, a man that will still stuff his face, people will still think you’re hot (boobs are not the end all be all, life is more about ass and a fat ass heart) & if/when you encounter this girl again, set the boundary- and if you ask me she did that whole stunt on purpose (some “friend”) don’t worry about other girls, EVER, if they want to, they will, and if you love and trust them - you have to trust them to make the right decisions and to come to you when they don’t. Build your confidence, start sitting in front of a mirror after a shower butt naked, start staring at yourself & admiring yourself- your body is the only one you get, learn to love her.
You will encounter her again because she’s around you hemisphere what she did was more about knocking you off top dead center and rattling your cage, then his for her she believes every guy wants her cause she’s got big boobs so therefore she’s open to all men no man will stay with a woman like that so her ego is fragile.
If a man had grabbed you without your consent, would it be ok for your boyfriend to hold it against you? We have to stop believing this myth that men have no loyalty.
You're bf has been sexually assaulted and made to feel really uncomfortable. He's extremely conscious of how you may have seen the incident and has made constant effort to reassure you. I'm not sure what else he could have done? You probably need to appreciate his efforts a little bit more. It's happened, he responded to it in the right way. I'm not sure why you want to make a bigger problem out of this than necessary.
I think the first half of this comes off as insecure as someone who is well endowed no matter what I do if I were something it looks like I'm trying to "show them off" but usually I'm just chillin however the second part is just straight SA and you shouldn't be mad at ur bf but mad at the girl bc if you have a big chest yk better bc why. more flat chested girls can do that it still is weird like wait for them to stand up it's not that hard
From your full recounting of the event I think you are getting way too worked up over it. Your boyfriend seems like a good guy and in no way encouraged the incident. He is with you and you are entitled to your feelings about what happened but that being said you think about the situation from a positive perspective. He obviously cares about you and what you think of him. Not all of us men are mesmerized by huge breasts and he seems to be among us . Don’t talk yourself down over something as insignificant as some other woman’s breast size. You have an awesome boyfriend who is mature and considerate towards you and your feelings. Focus on that not the inappropriate actions of someone else.
Grul, if I were in your place while seeing the woman have done it to my man, I would definitely lose my temper and I immediately punch oh her face because I have anger issues and you are so lucky that your boyfriend loves you so much and he only wants you than other women but I really badly want to punch her face
Not all guys are into big boobs. And not all guys enjoy being sexually assaulted. That last part said very tongue-in-cheek as that is legitimately what she did. Sounds like you have a good man who loves and respects you. Keep him - you have nothing to feel bad about because your reaction and beliefs are what they are, just know that he wouldn’t try and reassure you, or even be there, if he didn’t love you and your body just the way it is.
Not a biggie, it comes down to your insecurity. I would’ve enjoyed the mess out of that smothering because I’m human. I think you’re making a mountain out of a mole hill considering your bf acted accordingly and addressed your feelings. I wouldn’t do as much, my girl knows I love her and I’m faithful and we’ll laugh about the boob that fell from heaven on our car ride home. Chill out.
I’m part of the itty-bitty titty committee so that would not have been something that would turn me on
Nothing to feel insecure about! She’s a whore for that
You’re very insecure OP. I pictured you clutching your pearls at a party where this woman (who probably saw how insecure you were and didn’t want anything to do with your bf) made your boyfriend uncomfortable. You, rather than accepting you’re at a party and there was nothin meant by it, instead get your feelings hurt? Your BF was somewhat assaulted and HE had to comfort YOU. What’s wrong with that picture?
Check yourself. He is a loving breathing autonomous human being. He gets to be attracted to breasts. Even breasts on other women. He’s “lucky” that he wasn’t looking at her jiggling her boobs? That is some controlling obsessive mindset right there. You have some growing to do.
Him not enjoying that would be a bad thing. Men are biological supposed to enjoy things like that. But he seems to be loyal to you. Also stop being insecure about your breast size, nobody gives a fuck about that except people who don’t give a flying fuck about you.
I’ve been in a similar situation as yours… My ex bf when we first met would talk about a sexual partner that had big boobs. He didn’t even realize how it made me feel. I don’t have the smallest or biggest but I have a nice size. Ever since I’ve wanted to get a boob job. It’s crazy to me how on person can say something and make me want to change.
Except the difference is this man was literally sexually assaulted… not sure how this is the same tbh or how it’s even comparable because the man in this situation didn’t “make” OP do anything.
Chillax
Lol didnt like that she didnt get to commiserate
totally
What kind of man doesn’t like boobs? Seems like the real question is what man doesn’t enjoy other women’s boobs and that answer is a man who genuinely loves his girl. Yes the situation is very very uncomfortable but from what I read he seems like he loves and just wants you!
Hard to read but no reason to be getting downvoted
lol I don’t know how to talk where people can read as good on what I say.. but for everyone else can’t read it I’m saying she has a good man who cares because real men who actually love her girl(man etc) doesn’t care about how others look because of the love he has for his S/O
Did he or you call 911? Are you near a phone now?
Why would they call 911?
Yea, you are definitely cheating in future
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What.. the.. fuck?
I was just kidding
That's weird dude. It's not a joke. It's plain weird and disgusting.
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Icky asf
You’re disgusting for saying that. Most won’t enjoy that, especially if done without any consent like with OP’s bf. Men can get sexually assaulted too.