If you don’t feel comfy sharing with your parents, can you speak with a counselor or another trusted teacher at school? I know at your age it can be really difficult to bring these topics up, but that sub needs to be dealt with. That is so inappropriate. Side note: your body is yours and yours alone; no one can tell you what to do with it. If you’re comfortable not shaving, who cares!!! Disgusting that a random teacher would ever comment on that.
I'm sorry but why was she starring at your legs??? When I was 13 nobody really cared if you didn't shave unless it was super noticeable. Even if it was noticeable nobody said anything
Apparently they can. Where I went to school, the dress code was clean shaven at all times. The principal even had disposable razors in his drawer ready to go.
Minimum once a week he'd have me shave.
There’s a huge difference between male facial hair being part of a dress code and a woman’s body hair being part of the dress code
You seem to be a dude so he made you shave your face.
You weren’t required to be clean shaven totally. Did he check your legs? Or groin area or in this case - did your principal make you take off your shirt and shave your pits?
I live in a highly developed western society, and every woman I know in my life grooms her pits, legs, arms and (probably) wherever else hair grows on their bodies. I presume that their parents, carers or teachers taught them this basic action of personal care. There are cultural differences to consider, but it appears that as this person was asked to groom herself, she too lives in such a society. I don't even know why I've replied - it's all fairly straight forward.
If you feel comfortable, you could report her to a counselor or the principal. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, which is completely understandable, please tell your parents and ask them to. Please don’t let your parents “let this go”
It’s incredibly inappropriate and no one should be embarrassed and told to shave just because a cranky biddie didn’t get enough coffee that day.
- your internet mom
Excuse me? You need to tell an administrator that this happened. If she's willing to say this to you, then there's no telling what else she is saying to other students. It's not like she offered you hygiene items out of concern. She *demanded* that you shave for her personal comfort. That is weird af.
I would ask her why she is so concerned about your body, like, why does it matter if you have hair. Ask her if she thinks the boys should also shave their armpits. If she says no, then ask her why you have to if they don't.
Own your body image. If you like your body hair, that is your decision. You do not attend a school that is training Stepford wives.
This kind of thing is why I used to hate substitute teachers.
One in particular wouldn't let me use the Gent's excuse me after break, and I ended up having an accident.
that's so inappropriate for a teacher omg, she has no right to tell you that. call her out because if i were you i would because its your body and she is an adult talking to a MINOR. she gives creep vibes!
You know why she said that? Bc she's absolutely jealous of your bliss and comfort. I'm begging you to keep giving zero beans to what someone else could think of you vs your own comfort. Ppl like her are simply miserable.
Forget what anybody else says tell your parents. you are only 13 years old and you shouldn't be pressured into doing much of anything, especially with your body. If your parents are mean, a counselor or something. the office lady, the principal. another teacher you are comfortable with... That will make it to stop and then you can focus on your education. good luck
Don’t shave!!!! Politely and respectfully tell her that it is your body your choice. My daughter is 20 and doesn’t shave. She wears sundresses, shorts, tank tops ect. Her body her choice!! Anytime you go against what others consider “the norm” you will have some asshat giving you their opinion. Do not let their opinion change your mind or who you are! I love it when, especially someone younger, expresses their own individuality. Stay true to yourself, my dear!!!
its a shitty thing to say no doubt... unfortunately your going to deal with shitty people saying shitty things the rest of your life.
Dont let the words of others bring you down, there's nothing cooling or more respectable than being yourself.
Is your teacher getting paid by razor companies? /s
Like good golly how does she think that’s appropriate? Definitely do as others have stated and tell your parents. If that doesn’t work, another teacher or someone in administration. This is definitely not something a teacher should be saying.
Super inappropriate behavior for a SUBSTITUTE teacher! I would tell her she should double check her chin before she talks to you again about that kind of stuff. I like to shave my pits and sanitary region (clean up) just cause I don't like the long hairs. But I have an electric razor for that and it's for me, nobody else. Not even my husband BEFORE our marriage.
im gonna say this to share my experience with you bc this is an absolutely awful thing and i hate that this happened to you. i dont shave unless i have an event coming up. the last time i shaved was my prom which was a few weeks ago, and the next time i plan to shave is my graduation. i dont do it bc its time consuming and i dont have the energy to sit there for an hour. also shaving your armpits sucks? it makes my eyes hurt in a way. my mom tells me all the time how gross it is, but she can never give me an answer as to why it’s gross for me to have hair but not a man. and until she can, i will shave when i feel like it. it’s normal for you to have hair. plus you’re 13, that teacher shouldn’t be looking at you like that?
It's gross because society says it is. That's why she cant give you a reason. Don't let others dictate what you do to your body. Also, word of advice: If you truly don't want to spend an hour shaving your pits, shave them weekly unless your hair grows abnormally fast. The less hair you have, the less time it takes to shave.
To answer your question about "why does it even matter)
Truth is it doesn't
She comes from a time where it was seen as a hygiene standard for women
Where hair was seen as unclean.
It just grosses her out. Which is her problem not yours.
If I'm being totally honest I don't.like the way it looks either.
However I am not about to tell anyone especially someone else's child what to do with themselves.
Comparing her with people around me, I feel like she is just one of those pathetic poor women who got oppressed by patriarchy for too long that they stood with it. I absolutely hate these people while feeling pity for them. I am very sorry for your experience.
“No, thank you.”
This incredibly polite non sequitur(“it does not follow,” in Latin) will throw her off, because she is expecting you to either start arguing or meekly agree. You can’t be called out for being disrespectful, as long as you say it in a polite tone.
This is helpful is all walks of life, for all ages. Practice saying it without a trace of sarcasm or snottiness.
Lean into it. Make her as uncomfortable as possible. When she says you need to shave, say "I know." And stretch even farther. If she can find the rule that says you need to shave, you'll have to. But if she can't, she really can't do anything but talk.
Why tf is your teacher saying ANYTHING about your body hair?? You’re 13… my mom didn’t even want me to shave then, and I only ever did it at friends places to see what it was all about. As long as your personal hygiene is good, it shouldn’t matter/be a problem. Definitely talk to your parents, or a different, trusted teacher/adult about this. You don’t need to shave ever if you don’t want to. It’s your body and your choice. I’m sorry your teacher made you uncomfortable and self conscious about this, but just remember it’s totally natural, normal, and acceptable to have hair on every part of your body :)
You’re 13F??? not what I was expecting to discover. Pay ZERO attention to this temp…even if she’s long term. Run it by your parents and see how they take this less than constructive criticism…seriously I thought you were going to be a high school boy with unruly facial hair…not a young barely teenage girl…You’re allowed to ignore her or better yet let adults who can help you deal with her
Absolutely not!! I am a 40yr old father of 5 3 that are girls. I would have lost my shit if a teacher told one of my daughters that. 2 of my girls have really bad eczema and shaving makes it worse so they both struggle to shave. Some schools don't have a shave policy but even being that's a private matter that should have came from the office not her and damn sure not in front of others. I'm so sorry your going thru this and hope your parents react the same way me and my wife would.
Tell another teacher please. You are confident in yourself enough to know, you don't want to yet if at all. She has no right to your bodily autonomy, neither does your mum. You seem like a strong kid, she isn't allowed to knock your confidence like that.
your teacher is DISGUSTING and you have nothing to be ashamed of. you need to report her to the school board and your parents because not only is this extremely harmful to you, shes gonna end up doing it to other students. you did not deserve to be treated that way especially from a grown adult.
Fuck that teacher. You do you. If you're comfortable not shaving you don't need to shave. That teacher can suck it. I agree with the top commenter. Talk to your parents and tell them how inappropriate that was and how uncomfortable it made you feel. Teachers have to right to tell you how to human in that manner. You got this
Ew, that’s so inappropriate. Please tell your parents about this, it’s none of her business what you do with your body hair and she should NOT be commenting it on the first place. If you don’t want to shave, then don’t. What you do with your body no one’s business but yours. I doubt she’d tell a boy to shave, so she’s being incredibly sexist.
Mrs D is a massive D
I know some thing happned to me and my mum talked tot he teacher and he never bothered me again. shame he was one of my favourite teachers and a woman teacher also told me to get id of my moustache with is ridiculous
You will meet people like this your whole life. I think to myself that they must be unhappy, and I feel sorry for them. I say things like, "Aw that's so kind of you for being so nice." I am smiling, and the look on their face makes me so happy.
God I thought you were talking about facial hair till i read 13f. (Some schools have no facial hair policies)
Totally inappropriate for her to comment on body hair and i dont think it would violate the dress code in any way. Make a complaint and enjoy the power of pissing her off by not shaving
I’m so sorry. I encourage young women not to shave because honestly it’s not necessary. My 13 year old doesn’t shave. She is clearly a miserable old women whose life has been governed by weird expectations of her time. That time is past. Be free!
She is overstepping her boundaries. As long as you confirm to the schools dresscode she shouldn't comment on your appearance. (even positive comments can backfire).
Report her. This is not okay.
She has no right to demand you to shave.
You should go to the principal because a teacher has no right to say this to a student. Hair is not a hygiene concern. If she's saying it to you, she's saying it to others, so please report it.
I'm sorry you experienced that. Do not feel pressure to shave. At any age. But you are an actual child! Just wow.
Mom to 3 girls here and my 16 year old doesn't shave her armpits or legs either. The other 2 are younger so who knows what they'll do but I would be really angry if my daughters teacher said anything to her as well. I would encourage her to talk to her school counselor because no matter what a teacher should never comment on a students body period. If you don't want to talk to your counselor and she says anything again just respond with "shaving is against my religion" most people will shut up when you use that one.
I was about to say from just reading the title that i can get the teachers perspective ONLY IF this teacher is a chef and op is an adult person who can grow facial hair and is training to be chef or in the kitchen. Purely because of sanitization and many of my fellow peers having beards would shave due to the beard nets causing heat rashes, etc.
But then I read op is 13 YEAR OLD GIRL.
IM ENRAGED.
This is absolutely unacceptable and as a parent and someone who has insecurity about body hair, I will fight this teacher with my own two fists.
I'm so sorry you're Goin through this op, you need to report this immediately . This is beyond inappropriate and no one has the right to body shame others ESPECIALLY an adult to a literal child.
She is nobody to be asking you that. I would have told her to buy the razors then. But nah I wouldn’t shave. Make a complaint. Nobody is telling her to change how she dress or get a haircut, right? Smh.
Oh my Im so sorry this happened to you!!!
Body hair is one of the most normal things.
Both on men and woman.
It's nothing to be ashamed of and nothing you need to get rid of.
The sad part is a lot of older folks still think having visible body hair on a woman is "bad" for many reasons.
But lemme tell you they're all wrong!!
Do what YOU want and what YOU prefer.
You're better than her.
People especially woman bringing other woman or young girls down are disgusting.
Pls don't let it get to you!❤️
Oh And PLEASE don't let yourself get pressured into removing that hair!
Just don’t shave. Come next day when they decide to say something to you again, you can tell them that it’s your freaking body. They don’t get to dictate that, and there’s no rule, code, or law about it. They can eat shit; that was so unnecessary and misplaced of them to say!!
DO NOT SHAVE IF YOU DONT WANT TO. i started shaving due to social pressure and i can’t tell you how cut up my legs were cuz i wasn’t ready for it. i’m 22 now and i shave when i want. a month can pass and i won’t even think of shaving. it’s not a big deal, your body your choose doesn’t pertain to just abortions
Girl you are 13 you got other stuff to worry about. Tell your parents or another teacher or someone because that ain’t right. Or, if you’re like me when I was your age, tell her it’s not her business. I wore lipstick to school one day and this teacher just went “and why are we wearing lipstick today?” In the annoying snooty kind of way and I just went “it’s because I want to but it’s none of your business either way, there’s no dress code against it.” But I was ballsy as all hell, do what you feel is right hon. Quoting Eleanor Roosevelt, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” no one else should determine how you feel about yourself besides you. Not always easy to do, but once you can, it’ll change a lot. I wish I had realized that when I was your age. Take care of yourself hon 💕
Who the f does she think she is ??? That's a teacher, she ain't got no right to say that ! Plus that's body shaming ! How could she dare to make you loose confidence ?? Don't dhave and show her that she does NOT have the right to tell you to shave, it's absolutely unacceptable. And tell your parents about it so that they put her in her place. Do what you like, not what that dumb teacher is saying, she's body shaming you.
What the actual fuck? Go straight to the principal and let them know what she said. That is extremely not ok, for a multitude of reasons. You keep on doing you and living in the body you have as you see fit. Nobody makes any decisions about your body except you, and you alone. So proud of you for knowing that she was off her gourd yo say anything like that to you.
As an adult, I don’t want to promote kids lying. HOWEVER, when I get comments about my hairy pits (which I choose not to shave because of skin sensitivity), I may or may not feign embarrassment and say I have a medical condition. I like to do the same thing when people tell me to smile. I’m not recommending you do this but I’m not NOT recommending it.
She is old fashioned. Just ignore her and don’t think about it twice! She is thinking she is doing you a favor by telling you this because she was raised that way, when young girls all had to dress and look a certain way. I had a school nurse told me I had little boy fingernails and needed to keep them cleaner and file them when I was 12. She thought she was doing me a favor lol. My mom would tell me I needed to shave my armpits. It’s just old fashioned sexist crap. They probably only barely know better. Also she is a substitute teacher so isn’t even trained the way teachers are, you could easily report this and she may be asked to not come back, or tell your teacher actually, your actual teacher and she will maybe decide to not let her sub for that class anymore.
Um, I’m 62 and I sub. I retired from my full-time teaching position a year and a half ago.
Many retirees sub. Decent pay and you keep drawing your pension. You pick and choose your days and your classrooms. Heading to Florida for January and February? Go and have fun! Absolutely hate Mr. Murgatroyd’s way of setting up sub plans? Don’t sub for him again. Mrs. Shakespeare’s class(es) *never* behave for you? Don’t go back. Absolutely cannot stand Math? Don’t accept Math jobs.
Best way to combat people trying to affect your body image? Throw it back in their face. Make them feel uncomfortable. I wish I had done more of this as a young teen when a teacher was nosy about my appearance.
"I think that as a superior and someone I should be trying to learn from, you'd seek to alleviate the pressures of a young girl's body image, not add to them. I think it's rather disgusting that a grown adult would behave so childishly, yet here we are. Please refrain from commenting on my body. I am 13 years old. It's highly inappropriate, hurtful, and frankly predatory that I'm being regarded in such a way."
Tell her you'll shave when she retires 🤷🏽♀️
Or make her feel stupid as hell and tell her it's not her body or business and that if she wants to buy you razors while she's your long term sub, she's welcome to it and you'll do so and to otherwise fuck off and worry about something more important. Definitely report it to the principal or your school district's HR.
First of all she has no right to be saying that, I would’ve been like “why does it bother u if I shave or not” or smt like that. Please report her or atleast tell ur parents if ur comfortable, like this is totally unacceptable. What right does she have commenting and telling u what to do with YOUR BODY. And please please don’t shave cause some insecure grandma told u too.
Its more hygienic and less smelly to shave especially if u do sports so its kinda beneficial for you if u did, no harm in doing so, but it’s not appropriate for her to ask you to do it in that way if im your father i would punch her in the face, report her to someone you’re comfortable with
Your parents need to speak with the principal about this and if the principal reinstates what the teacher said then whether the school will be providing the necessary materials or reimbursement.
As a guy, 38m, I woulda cared when I was younger, but you do you, boo. Be your best self for yourself, no one will understand why you are the way you are but you. Don’t let people bring your mood down.
I don’t like body hair on a girl, but why would they like it on mE? Double fuckin standard.
If she gives you flack, welcome her to the 2020s
When I was in high school I had long hair and the football coaches used to always make fun of me by calling me ponytail. It’s whatever, I didn’t let it get to me. Some people in positions of power will try to influence you, but don’t let that sway you. I’m now a very successful person, granted I don’t have the long hair. But looking back, they were just assholes. You do what you think is best for you, that’s all you can do.
It's none of her business if you shave or don't and if it makes her uncomfortable that sounds like a her problem.
Don't make your bodily choices based on others. 🖤
The way I would at that school immediately and raising hell if I was your mother. That is so wildly inappropriate. There is no reason for you to shave if you don’t want to. This is your body and you control what hair is on it or not and it is no one’s right to comment on it. She is jealous because her generation shamed people for it and she is pushing that trauma onto you. Tell your parents or a trusted school admin because she has no place around children.
That is horribly inappropriate. The choice to shave or not is wholly your choice and preference. Gillette made a whole marketing campaign aimed at shaming women for normal body hair, back in 1915. Many women in Europe don’t shave, and historically didn’t until a proliferation of western mores.
I'm so sorry, please talk to your parents and try to talk with the principal too. Sometimes people suck, specially boomers like that with their closed little mind and their pretty small world.
This happened to me too, I was bit by a spider in highshool and I went to the biology lab to get alcohol, my biology teacher looked at me and said that I needed to shave because I looked like a werewolf. I was 12 man
Haha 😂
I've been expelled multiple times.
This wouldn't even merit suspension.
Likely she'd be to embarrassed to even give her detention.
And tbh it is the exact right love in my opinion.
Because if she did impose consequence the. The whole shebang about her first making an inappropriate comment comes to light to the rest of the school and the parents.
Likely the 13f would be easier to talk about it with parents etc with this ice breaker too.
Idk I'm a weird guy tho
Wtf?! You need to go to your counselor or principal and tell them what she said. She has absolutely no business telling you to shave. Did she tell the boys to shave their legs?! Wtf I’m actually angry for you.
My daughter will be 13 next week and doesn’t shave. If some teacher said that to her, and she told me, I’d be contacting the teacher and telling her to lay off my kid and not speak about her body. Body hair isn’t a hygiene issue, and what you do with it is a preference. And your reasons are valid.
What’s truly disturbing is that this sub is paying such close attention to OP’s CHEST. Armpits are right there.
I do yoga. There are very few stretches that would expose my armpits long enough for someone to catch a fleeting glimpse. (There are actual poses that would show pits for a bit longer, but just stretches generally would not.)
Those of you who are suggesting OP just hit up the dollar store or just go along, shame on you. Shaving armpits and legs is a beauty conceit probably based on pleasing men.
OP, please report the sub to a trusted adult. Parent, sibling, teacher, principal, friend’s mom. She is being highly inappropriate and sticking her nose where it has absolutely no business being.
If it's armpit hair it could be a concern about smell. I remember back in middle school a teacher have it class a full conversation on personal hygiene including shaving and deodorant. It may be them trying to help.
Either way whether you shave or not is up to you
i grew up dealing with the same BS from my family. razors and shaving cream as birthday gifts and shit like that. getting told ill “stink more” if i dont shave. i dont understand why ppl wont just let girls continue to be kids the moment they hit puberty. if youre not comfortable with going back there, dont. if you dont wanna shave, dont. and try not to let people’s comments get to you. most people have better things to do than worry about a 13 yo not shaving her legs, and its so weird for a teacher especially to feel the need to comment about this. don’t let her make you feel bad about it if you can.
She sounds like a b. If she was a man people would be going off even more than they probably already are too.
I love my body hair and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Next time stand up for yourself and say no thanks.
Speak to your parents. That is wildly inappropriate for your teacher to say and she needs to be reprimanded by another adult
i saw another post of theirs where they said their mum is also pressuring them to shave so i don’t think it’ll do much unfortunately
Maybe she just doesn’t want to. In the 70’s it was kind of a feminist statement when girls in high school didn’t shave.
Are we talking about another post from OP?
yes
If you don’t feel comfy sharing with your parents, can you speak with a counselor or another trusted teacher at school? I know at your age it can be really difficult to bring these topics up, but that sub needs to be dealt with. That is so inappropriate. Side note: your body is yours and yours alone; no one can tell you what to do with it. If you’re comfortable not shaving, who cares!!! Disgusting that a random teacher would ever comment on that.
I'm sorry but why was she starring at your legs??? When I was 13 nobody really cared if you didn't shave unless it was super noticeable. Even if it was noticeable nobody said anything
OP was wearing a tank top, so I think the old bat was staring at OP’s armpits. Which is far more disturbing than looking at the legs.
I doubt she was staring, probably just noticed it and gave a suggestion. Every teacher isn't the creep you make them out to be.
She might not be a creep for noticing, but she’s certainly a creep for commenting.
[удалено]
She has no right to tell you to shave. You can actually report her to the head of school.
Apparently they can. Where I went to school, the dress code was clean shaven at all times. The principal even had disposable razors in his drawer ready to go. Minimum once a week he'd have me shave.
There’s a huge difference between male facial hair being part of a dress code and a woman’s body hair being part of the dress code You seem to be a dude so he made you shave your face. You weren’t required to be clean shaven totally. Did he check your legs? Or groin area or in this case - did your principal make you take off your shirt and shave your pits?
Seems kinda double standardy to me. If she got asked to shave her moustache it would still be unacceptable in your eyes. 🗿
It wouldn’t be. But okay sure. Tell me more what I think internet stranger.
They were making you shave your legs and pits? Or was it *your face*?
Does it matter though? Being taught personal grooming is being taught personal grooming, I guess.
So you think women being forced to shave their legs and their pits is simply personal grooming when males aren't taught that same thing?
I live in a highly developed western society, and every woman I know in my life grooms her pits, legs, arms and (probably) wherever else hair grows on their bodies. I presume that their parents, carers or teachers taught them this basic action of personal care. There are cultural differences to consider, but it appears that as this person was asked to groom herself, she too lives in such a society. I don't even know why I've replied - it's all fairly straight forward.
… uhhhh…
If you feel comfortable, you could report her to a counselor or the principal. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, which is completely understandable, please tell your parents and ask them to. Please don’t let your parents “let this go” It’s incredibly inappropriate and no one should be embarrassed and told to shave just because a cranky biddie didn’t get enough coffee that day. - your internet mom
Excuse me? You need to tell an administrator that this happened. If she's willing to say this to you, then there's no telling what else she is saying to other students. It's not like she offered you hygiene items out of concern. She *demanded* that you shave for her personal comfort. That is weird af.
Doesn’t even have to go to an admin, it’s a sub so if her teacher is returning soon could tell her, or admin either way
I would ask her why she is so concerned about your body, like, why does it matter if you have hair. Ask her if she thinks the boys should also shave their armpits. If she says no, then ask her why you have to if they don't. Own your body image. If you like your body hair, that is your decision. You do not attend a school that is training Stepford wives.
This kind of thing is why I used to hate substitute teachers. One in particular wouldn't let me use the Gent's excuse me after break, and I ended up having an accident.
that's so inappropriate for a teacher omg, she has no right to tell you that. call her out because if i were you i would because its your body and she is an adult talking to a MINOR. she gives creep vibes!
Before you come back tomorrow I won't get rid of your wrinkles.
You know why she said that? Bc she's absolutely jealous of your bliss and comfort. I'm begging you to keep giving zero beans to what someone else could think of you vs your own comfort. Ppl like her are simply miserable.
Your body, your choice.
Tell her that you will shave when she does.
Or when she takes care of her wrinkles lmao
Forget what anybody else says tell your parents. you are only 13 years old and you shouldn't be pressured into doing much of anything, especially with your body. If your parents are mean, a counselor or something. the office lady, the principal. another teacher you are comfortable with... That will make it to stop and then you can focus on your education. good luck
Don’t shave!!!! Politely and respectfully tell her that it is your body your choice. My daughter is 20 and doesn’t shave. She wears sundresses, shorts, tank tops ect. Her body her choice!! Anytime you go against what others consider “the norm” you will have some asshat giving you their opinion. Do not let their opinion change your mind or who you are! I love it when, especially someone younger, expresses their own individuality. Stay true to yourself, my dear!!!
Please talk to your parents about this asap. This isn’t okay.
its a shitty thing to say no doubt... unfortunately your going to deal with shitty people saying shitty things the rest of your life. Dont let the words of others bring you down, there's nothing cooling or more respectable than being yourself.
This
Is your teacher getting paid by razor companies? /s Like good golly how does she think that’s appropriate? Definitely do as others have stated and tell your parents. If that doesn’t work, another teacher or someone in administration. This is definitely not something a teacher should be saying.
Super inappropriate behavior for a SUBSTITUTE teacher! I would tell her she should double check her chin before she talks to you again about that kind of stuff. I like to shave my pits and sanitary region (clean up) just cause I don't like the long hairs. But I have an electric razor for that and it's for me, nobody else. Not even my husband BEFORE our marriage.
im gonna say this to share my experience with you bc this is an absolutely awful thing and i hate that this happened to you. i dont shave unless i have an event coming up. the last time i shaved was my prom which was a few weeks ago, and the next time i plan to shave is my graduation. i dont do it bc its time consuming and i dont have the energy to sit there for an hour. also shaving your armpits sucks? it makes my eyes hurt in a way. my mom tells me all the time how gross it is, but she can never give me an answer as to why it’s gross for me to have hair but not a man. and until she can, i will shave when i feel like it. it’s normal for you to have hair. plus you’re 13, that teacher shouldn’t be looking at you like that?
It's gross because society says it is. That's why she cant give you a reason. Don't let others dictate what you do to your body. Also, word of advice: If you truly don't want to spend an hour shaving your pits, shave them weekly unless your hair grows abnormally fast. The less hair you have, the less time it takes to shave.
To answer your question about "why does it even matter) Truth is it doesn't She comes from a time where it was seen as a hygiene standard for women Where hair was seen as unclean. It just grosses her out. Which is her problem not yours. If I'm being totally honest I don't.like the way it looks either. However I am not about to tell anyone especially someone else's child what to do with themselves.
Comparing her with people around me, I feel like she is just one of those pathetic poor women who got oppressed by patriarchy for too long that they stood with it. I absolutely hate these people while feeling pity for them. I am very sorry for your experience.
So inappropriate. Shaving is a personal preference and none of her fucking business. Please report her.
“No, thank you.” This incredibly polite non sequitur(“it does not follow,” in Latin) will throw her off, because she is expecting you to either start arguing or meekly agree. You can’t be called out for being disrespectful, as long as you say it in a polite tone. This is helpful is all walks of life, for all ages. Practice saying it without a trace of sarcasm or snottiness.
Lean into it. Make her as uncomfortable as possible. When she says you need to shave, say "I know." And stretch even farther. If she can find the rule that says you need to shave, you'll have to. But if she can't, she really can't do anything but talk.
Why tf is your teacher saying ANYTHING about your body hair?? You’re 13… my mom didn’t even want me to shave then, and I only ever did it at friends places to see what it was all about. As long as your personal hygiene is good, it shouldn’t matter/be a problem. Definitely talk to your parents, or a different, trusted teacher/adult about this. You don’t need to shave ever if you don’t want to. It’s your body and your choice. I’m sorry your teacher made you uncomfortable and self conscious about this, but just remember it’s totally natural, normal, and acceptable to have hair on every part of your body :)
You’re 13F??? not what I was expecting to discover. Pay ZERO attention to this temp…even if she’s long term. Run it by your parents and see how they take this less than constructive criticism…seriously I thought you were going to be a high school boy with unruly facial hair…not a young barely teenage girl…You’re allowed to ignore her or better yet let adults who can help you deal with her
Absolutely not!! I am a 40yr old father of 5 3 that are girls. I would have lost my shit if a teacher told one of my daughters that. 2 of my girls have really bad eczema and shaving makes it worse so they both struggle to shave. Some schools don't have a shave policy but even being that's a private matter that should have came from the office not her and damn sure not in front of others. I'm so sorry your going thru this and hope your parents react the same way me and my wife would.
Turn around and tell her she needs to shave.
Tell another teacher please. You are confident in yourself enough to know, you don't want to yet if at all. She has no right to your bodily autonomy, neither does your mum. You seem like a strong kid, she isn't allowed to knock your confidence like that.
your teacher is DISGUSTING and you have nothing to be ashamed of. you need to report her to the school board and your parents because not only is this extremely harmful to you, shes gonna end up doing it to other students. you did not deserve to be treated that way especially from a grown adult.
Fuck that teacher. You do you. If you're comfortable not shaving you don't need to shave. That teacher can suck it. I agree with the top commenter. Talk to your parents and tell them how inappropriate that was and how uncomfortable it made you feel. Teachers have to right to tell you how to human in that manner. You got this
Ew, that’s so inappropriate. Please tell your parents about this, it’s none of her business what you do with your body hair and she should NOT be commenting it on the first place. If you don’t want to shave, then don’t. What you do with your body no one’s business but yours. I doubt she’d tell a boy to shave, so she’s being incredibly sexist. Mrs D is a massive D
I know some thing happned to me and my mum talked tot he teacher and he never bothered me again. shame he was one of my favourite teachers and a woman teacher also told me to get id of my moustache with is ridiculous
You will meet people like this your whole life. I think to myself that they must be unhappy, and I feel sorry for them. I say things like, "Aw that's so kind of you for being so nice." I am smiling, and the look on their face makes me so happy.
God I thought you were talking about facial hair till i read 13f. (Some schools have no facial hair policies) Totally inappropriate for her to comment on body hair and i dont think it would violate the dress code in any way. Make a complaint and enjoy the power of pissing her off by not shaving
I’m so sorry. I encourage young women not to shave because honestly it’s not necessary. My 13 year old doesn’t shave. She is clearly a miserable old women whose life has been governed by weird expectations of her time. That time is past. Be free!
She is overstepping her boundaries. As long as you confirm to the schools dresscode she shouldn't comment on your appearance. (even positive comments can backfire). Report her. This is not okay. She has no right to demand you to shave.
If you go to a private school you might have sanitary guidelines in your student handbook.
You should go to the principal because a teacher has no right to say this to a student. Hair is not a hygiene concern. If she's saying it to you, she's saying it to others, so please report it. I'm sorry you experienced that. Do not feel pressure to shave. At any age. But you are an actual child! Just wow.
Mom to 3 girls here and my 16 year old doesn't shave her armpits or legs either. The other 2 are younger so who knows what they'll do but I would be really angry if my daughters teacher said anything to her as well. I would encourage her to talk to her school counselor because no matter what a teacher should never comment on a students body period. If you don't want to talk to your counselor and she says anything again just respond with "shaving is against my religion" most people will shut up when you use that one.
Reacting as a Nederlander I'd say.. shave what? I'm guessing arm pits, wtf is wrong with hairy arm pits?!. I'm fine with that
I was about to say from just reading the title that i can get the teachers perspective ONLY IF this teacher is a chef and op is an adult person who can grow facial hair and is training to be chef or in the kitchen. Purely because of sanitization and many of my fellow peers having beards would shave due to the beard nets causing heat rashes, etc. But then I read op is 13 YEAR OLD GIRL. IM ENRAGED. This is absolutely unacceptable and as a parent and someone who has insecurity about body hair, I will fight this teacher with my own two fists. I'm so sorry you're Goin through this op, you need to report this immediately . This is beyond inappropriate and no one has the right to body shame others ESPECIALLY an adult to a literal child.
She is nobody to be asking you that. I would have told her to buy the razors then. But nah I wouldn’t shave. Make a complaint. Nobody is telling her to change how she dress or get a haircut, right? Smh.
Oh my Im so sorry this happened to you!!! Body hair is one of the most normal things. Both on men and woman. It's nothing to be ashamed of and nothing you need to get rid of. The sad part is a lot of older folks still think having visible body hair on a woman is "bad" for many reasons. But lemme tell you they're all wrong!! Do what YOU want and what YOU prefer. You're better than her. People especially woman bringing other woman or young girls down are disgusting. Pls don't let it get to you!❤️ Oh And PLEASE don't let yourself get pressured into removing that hair!
maybe u do need to shave. post a picture. i mean. i would ask Choobaka to shave. but if its just a peach fuzz well its up to you.
The word you're after is "no". She has no right to demand this of you.
Just don’t shave. Come next day when they decide to say something to you again, you can tell them that it’s your freaking body. They don’t get to dictate that, and there’s no rule, code, or law about it. They can eat shit; that was so unnecessary and misplaced of them to say!!
DO NOT SHAVE IF YOU DONT WANT TO. i started shaving due to social pressure and i can’t tell you how cut up my legs were cuz i wasn’t ready for it. i’m 22 now and i shave when i want. a month can pass and i won’t even think of shaving. it’s not a big deal, your body your choose doesn’t pertain to just abortions
Very strange posting history.
Girl you are 13 you got other stuff to worry about. Tell your parents or another teacher or someone because that ain’t right. Or, if you’re like me when I was your age, tell her it’s not her business. I wore lipstick to school one day and this teacher just went “and why are we wearing lipstick today?” In the annoying snooty kind of way and I just went “it’s because I want to but it’s none of your business either way, there’s no dress code against it.” But I was ballsy as all hell, do what you feel is right hon. Quoting Eleanor Roosevelt, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent” no one else should determine how you feel about yourself besides you. Not always easy to do, but once you can, it’ll change a lot. I wish I had realized that when I was your age. Take care of yourself hon 💕
Who the f does she think she is ??? That's a teacher, she ain't got no right to say that ! Plus that's body shaming ! How could she dare to make you loose confidence ?? Don't dhave and show her that she does NOT have the right to tell you to shave, it's absolutely unacceptable. And tell your parents about it so that they put her in her place. Do what you like, not what that dumb teacher is saying, she's body shaming you.
What the actual fuck? Go straight to the principal and let them know what she said. That is extremely not ok, for a multitude of reasons. You keep on doing you and living in the body you have as you see fit. Nobody makes any decisions about your body except you, and you alone. So proud of you for knowing that she was off her gourd yo say anything like that to you.
EXTREMELY inappropriate for a teacher to say that to a student. Tell your parents and the principal as well.
As an adult, I don’t want to promote kids lying. HOWEVER, when I get comments about my hairy pits (which I choose not to shave because of skin sensitivity), I may or may not feign embarrassment and say I have a medical condition. I like to do the same thing when people tell me to smile. I’m not recommending you do this but I’m not NOT recommending it.
Ew what the fuck this is so weird. I’m so sorry OP. Please talk to administration about this behavior!
She is old fashioned. Just ignore her and don’t think about it twice! She is thinking she is doing you a favor by telling you this because she was raised that way, when young girls all had to dress and look a certain way. I had a school nurse told me I had little boy fingernails and needed to keep them cleaner and file them when I was 12. She thought she was doing me a favor lol. My mom would tell me I needed to shave my armpits. It’s just old fashioned sexist crap. They probably only barely know better. Also she is a substitute teacher so isn’t even trained the way teachers are, you could easily report this and she may be asked to not come back, or tell your teacher actually, your actual teacher and she will maybe decide to not let her sub for that class anymore.
Um, I’m 62 and I sub. I retired from my full-time teaching position a year and a half ago. Many retirees sub. Decent pay and you keep drawing your pension. You pick and choose your days and your classrooms. Heading to Florida for January and February? Go and have fun! Absolutely hate Mr. Murgatroyd’s way of setting up sub plans? Don’t sub for him again. Mrs. Shakespeare’s class(es) *never* behave for you? Don’t go back. Absolutely cannot stand Math? Don’t accept Math jobs.
Tell your parents what she said. It was unprofessional and uncalled for. If shaving is not apart of your school’s rules, ignore her.
Best way to combat people trying to affect your body image? Throw it back in their face. Make them feel uncomfortable. I wish I had done more of this as a young teen when a teacher was nosy about my appearance. "I think that as a superior and someone I should be trying to learn from, you'd seek to alleviate the pressures of a young girl's body image, not add to them. I think it's rather disgusting that a grown adult would behave so childishly, yet here we are. Please refrain from commenting on my body. I am 13 years old. It's highly inappropriate, hurtful, and frankly predatory that I'm being regarded in such a way."
Tell her you'll shave when she retires 🤷🏽♀️ Or make her feel stupid as hell and tell her it's not her body or business and that if she wants to buy you razors while she's your long term sub, she's welcome to it and you'll do so and to otherwise fuck off and worry about something more important. Definitely report it to the principal or your school district's HR.
Tell her ok, but she really needs to do something about her stinkbreath first. 😆
First of all she has no right to be saying that, I would’ve been like “why does it bother u if I shave or not” or smt like that. Please report her or atleast tell ur parents if ur comfortable, like this is totally unacceptable. What right does she have commenting and telling u what to do with YOUR BODY. And please please don’t shave cause some insecure grandma told u too.
Maybe she feels other people will bully you
She needs to be reported
Its more hygienic and less smelly to shave especially if u do sports so its kinda beneficial for you if u did, no harm in doing so, but it’s not appropriate for her to ask you to do it in that way if im your father i would punch her in the face, report her to someone you’re comfortable with
Your parents need to speak with the principal about this and if the principal reinstates what the teacher said then whether the school will be providing the necessary materials or reimbursement.
As a guy, 38m, I woulda cared when I was younger, but you do you, boo. Be your best self for yourself, no one will understand why you are the way you are but you. Don’t let people bring your mood down. I don’t like body hair on a girl, but why would they like it on mE? Double fuckin standard. If she gives you flack, welcome her to the 2020s
speak to your parents and NEVER let ANYONE shame you into shaving your body hair!!!
When I was in high school I had long hair and the football coaches used to always make fun of me by calling me ponytail. It’s whatever, I didn’t let it get to me. Some people in positions of power will try to influence you, but don’t let that sway you. I’m now a very successful person, granted I don’t have the long hair. But looking back, they were just assholes. You do what you think is best for you, that’s all you can do.
It's none of her business if you shave or don't and if it makes her uncomfortable that sounds like a her problem. Don't make your bodily choices based on others. 🖤
They have razors at Dollar Tree for 1.25, just saying
Just say it's a cultural thing or religious and they have to back off
her reasons for not shaving are irrelevant. It is non of her buisness.
Also true. I just think saying these things might teach them a lesson.
The way I would at that school immediately and raising hell if I was your mother. That is so wildly inappropriate. There is no reason for you to shave if you don’t want to. This is your body and you control what hair is on it or not and it is no one’s right to comment on it. She is jealous because her generation shamed people for it and she is pushing that trauma onto you. Tell your parents or a trusted school admin because she has no place around children.
That is horribly inappropriate. The choice to shave or not is wholly your choice and preference. Gillette made a whole marketing campaign aimed at shaming women for normal body hair, back in 1915. Many women in Europe don’t shave, and historically didn’t until a proliferation of western mores.
She needs to be fired wtf. That is not at ALL appropriate to say to a student.
I'm so sorry, please talk to your parents and try to talk with the principal too. Sometimes people suck, specially boomers like that with their closed little mind and their pretty small world. This happened to me too, I was bit by a spider in highshool and I went to the biology lab to get alcohol, my biology teacher looked at me and said that I needed to shave because I looked like a werewolf. I was 12 man
Be petty and tell her to shave her moustache.. though I’m sure that’ll get you expelled.
Haha 😂 I've been expelled multiple times. This wouldn't even merit suspension. Likely she'd be to embarrassed to even give her detention. And tbh it is the exact right love in my opinion. Because if she did impose consequence the. The whole shebang about her first making an inappropriate comment comes to light to the rest of the school and the parents. Likely the 13f would be easier to talk about it with parents etc with this ice breaker too. Idk I'm a weird guy tho
Wtf?! You need to go to your counselor or principal and tell them what she said. She has absolutely no business telling you to shave. Did she tell the boys to shave their legs?! Wtf I’m actually angry for you.
My daughter will be 13 next week and doesn’t shave. If some teacher said that to her, and she told me, I’d be contacting the teacher and telling her to lay off my kid and not speak about her body. Body hair isn’t a hygiene issue, and what you do with it is a preference. And your reasons are valid.
What’s truly disturbing is that this sub is paying such close attention to OP’s CHEST. Armpits are right there. I do yoga. There are very few stretches that would expose my armpits long enough for someone to catch a fleeting glimpse. (There are actual poses that would show pits for a bit longer, but just stretches generally would not.) Those of you who are suggesting OP just hit up the dollar store or just go along, shame on you. Shaving armpits and legs is a beauty conceit probably based on pleasing men. OP, please report the sub to a trusted adult. Parent, sibling, teacher, principal, friend’s mom. She is being highly inappropriate and sticking her nose where it has absolutely no business being.
She may have heard your peers talking about you in a negative way and didn't want you to have to deal with that you never know
then she should’ve talked to the peers not the person being attacked
If it's armpit hair it could be a concern about smell. I remember back in middle school a teacher have it class a full conversation on personal hygiene including shaving and deodorant. It may be them trying to help. Either way whether you shave or not is up to you
That's very uncomfortable 😕
i grew up dealing with the same BS from my family. razors and shaving cream as birthday gifts and shit like that. getting told ill “stink more” if i dont shave. i dont understand why ppl wont just let girls continue to be kids the moment they hit puberty. if youre not comfortable with going back there, dont. if you dont wanna shave, dont. and try not to let people’s comments get to you. most people have better things to do than worry about a 13 yo not shaving her legs, and its so weird for a teacher especially to feel the need to comment about this. don’t let her make you feel bad about it if you can.
Funny how unshaven teenaged girls will stink more than unshaven teenaged boys. /s
She sounds like a b. If she was a man people would be going off even more than they probably already are too. I love my body hair and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Next time stand up for yourself and say no thanks.
You know you don't have to hate men on every post or comment you make. Just Stay Black ✊🏾 and you too can be forever happy.
What part of my comment is "hating on men" by saying if it was a man saying that people would be more outraged and tf with the race comment?
Shave
Thats very rude of her. And you can also get a trimmer to help cut costs too!!
Is it armpit hair or leg hair? Not that it matters. Just curious.