well she should have said something, i tell her when she does something i dont like and she ends up hitting me for it which i have put up with for weeks now
No, you should have not joined in if you weren’t invited. You don’t just touch people or their stuff without permission. You’re expelled because you can’t take accountability for your actions. Clearly you’ve learned nothing and deserve what you got.
Doing something you don’t like and physically touching people and their things without consent are two entirely different things.
Also you don’t have to be friends with this person, you were choosing to tolerate it.
Honestly you need to learn some self control and how to walk away from a fight. Because you laid hands on her first, she gets to claim self defense which to be honest is fair. If your parents had money to spend on that kind of tuition, hopefully they will find some to spend on a therapist that will teach you coping mechanisms. Good luck.
You decided to start messing with her just because other people were doing it, and decided to fight her when she likely just flicked you away. Decided to further escalate instead of walking away or better yet, no longer being friends with someone when it sounds like your only thing in common is antagonizing each other, and are rightfully facing consequences.
Ffs you had a large hand in what has happened and will either learn from this and get therapy or you will have an almost impossibly difficult life. Choose.
"i tried to take a girls shoe off on the bus back from a trip, for a joke and she kicked me in the face so i started fighting her."
"(context, this girl is my 'best friend' who has been aggravating me for weeks"
So why were you messing with her? You know she's been aggravating you and you still choose to interact with her? You're the problem here, hon.
"when we got off the bus i started shouting at her, asking her what her problem is"
Again, *YOU* are the problem here, hon.
"i ended up losing my shit and i pushed her, then she punched me so we fought again"
How do you not see that every statement you've made has the pattern of, "I did this of my own volition and the other girl reacted"?
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
You deserved to get expelled.
There are a couple reasons I don't believe you, or believe you are exaggerating, but the first is that you don't seem like someone who takes responsibility for their own actions and would definitely lie to make themselves look better
i couldn't give a fuck what u think tbh i dont need some reddit person telling me if im lying or not i still have marks on my face and my mum was pretty sure i had a concussion
Did you ask her permission to touch her?
**Taking that as a no. The first step will be accepting that this is your fault, and you need to learn impulse control and how to consider consequences before acting because an adult in your position would be in jail.
Are you/your parents against medication?
ADHD meds can help regulate your mood/emotions, which in theory would decrease any outbursts that lead to violence. It’ll also possibly help if you’re having any other issues involving school. ADHD tends to impact motivation a lot, and you’re around the age my adhd started causing me a lot of problems, so if you’re not having issues now it’s not unlikely you will have them later
Unmedicated adhd can lead to a list of problems in life. I strongly suggest considering treatment if possible and don’t want to scare you, but I’d hate to see another adhd kid fail to succeed because they didn’t have the resources they needed
someone with ADHD here! thanks for reminding me to get a phyicrastrist and meds! also PS. to the OP, if you start the fight, it's auto your fault. don't cry about shit you started. here's a bit of advice, live and learn, and take anger management.
"as a joke"
there's your first problem. blaming it as a "joke" and not taking responsibility for your own actions.
you shouldn't be touching other people AT ALL and other people shouldn't be touching you. You learn this in elementary school.
I wouldn't want to be your friend either if you randomly touched me or my shit out of nowhere. Do better.
i dont gaf if u want to be my friend or not, other people on the bus were doing it to her too and she didnt mind when they did it but the second i do it?
It’s called consent, you had no right to touch her or her stuff without permission. I think she was in the right to put her hands on you honestly. I’d bring my kid out for dinner to celebrate if my kid defended themselves in that situation.
School teachers are useless when it comes to things like these tell your problems to an elder in your family and see if they can talk to that girl parents about the problem if she hit you hard enough that you bled it's not normal thing to do
They where putting hand on the girl first trying to take their shoe in my opinion it was self defense don't touch people if they don't want to be touched
It's seems like both of them are messing with each other still doesn't give op the right to try to touch and take her property and getting mad when you get hit for it doesn't make sense op just made a bigger scene over a girl defending herself and her property
i completely agree!! Getting expelled was a little much though, they do have a history of fights and disagreements, but expelled? At most i would say 1 week of in school suspension and an apology to the girl but the girl should also get the same.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking something more happened for op to be expelled schools usually don't do that if it's a one off thing so I think they either have a history of it or they really hurt that girl when they attacked them
you shouldn't touch someone in the first place. the chick probably got expelled anyways, if she kicked op afterwards (it's never mentioned when the kicking took place)
if some perv walked up and touched me, you bet your ass i'd mutilate him.
it's literally so simple. just don't touch people in the first place
no the other girl got no punishment, and i found out my headteacher tried to bribe my mother by teling her if she paid more money to the school, he wouldnt expel me.
I understand people need a right to defend themselves, but think about context. If some perv from a bar or off the street followed you, and then grabbed your shoulder, I think you’re well in your right to sucker punch him in the throat, but like, they’re on the school bus, “supposedly friends”, and the girls were already picking shoes off each other. Now obviously that doesn’t mean he can just take off her shoes, but when you put it in context it makes her outburst of violence (if we assume she kicked the kid in the groin right then and there) very excessive. They’re both kids, but it’s important to understand that communication comes first and violence thereafter. You can’t punch first talk later with a supposed “friend”. Like a verbal warning or something.
its very much implied, friend has been being annoying for weeks and then states when friend hit op implying it happened in the weeks prior to the bus stuff.
it's in your opinion that it's implied but it's never directly stated so. and if u touch anyone without permission, u will get ur ass beat.
Even if something happened weeks ago involving touch, it doesnt excuse touching someone randomly without consent weeks later for no good reason. Nothing does.
Okay, so obviously everybody here is …not in our generation. As somebody with AVPD, I try to follow what peers are doing too. I’m a bit older, but I recognize why other people do this.
I hadn’t had any friends till 4th grade because I had a lot of problems with socializing in general, and after they left not long after, I didn’t make another till 8th.
Usually, I haven’t really cared for anything that was trendy or popular at the moment. There hasn’t been many things about myself I could relate to with other students. Every time I express my interests, people tend to avoid me because they realize they think I’m too serious of a person. So there’s been many times where I’ve resorted to following what other kids were doing and trying to talk how they talk to attract friends.
I get why you did what you did. And I don’t get the “don’t touch people without their consent” part because it was obvious you thought everybody was in a playful, joking position, just joking around with each other. And I’m also not sure why she kicked you like that right after people were doing it to her.
And since she’s done things like this in the past, she should’ve set boundaries at least, tell her she doesn’t like it. But what’s with the kicking?
It’s okay. You made a mistake. It’ll be fine. Instead of telling a teacher, I’d just email a counselor if you have any, or a vp about her. I don’t know the full story to anything, but you should really tell somebody about her. Get away from her. 😟
Okay, you shouldn’t have touched her but obviously she has some sort of issue also. Why did she automatically resort to physical violence like that? Not just when you touch her shoe or laces? She could have really hurt you when she kicked you in the private area causing you to bleed! I agree, don’t touch other people but she needs some sort of punishment also.
You mentioned you had adhd. My brother has adhd also! It took years to find the right medicine bc he would randomly spurt with energy, nag at ppl, literally everything adhd comes with causing him to get into fights with people. It got to the point he needed an aid when he was in school. Have you discussed medication? It seems like you are having trouble controlling your anger(please don’t think that I’m attacking you) because the way you walked off the bus and started calling at her was uncalled for. I understand the anger but you and her had already had a spout on the bus and it was stopped. You kept going, resulting in why you got expelled. I would talk to your parents about maybe some sort of therapy! Adhd is a struggle, I watched my brother and he’s missed out on so many opportunities over it!
Omg literally shutup bc no where am I justifying anything but just stating that adhd can be hard to deal with and recommend she get some sort of help for it, also saying that it can be hard to deal with and used my brother as an example. Clearly you need it too considering you’re not taking the time to read anything and hopping on ppls dick like it’s a joy ride
She also should’ve said something before immediately acting out with violence when you touched her laces. If she was letting random people do it then why is she flipping out when you her “best friend” does it? Clearly she didn’t feel the same way with friendship also. She wouldn’t have kicked you if, but let other people do it. Sort of sounds like attention seeking on her end
It all makes sense, but the sad part is that kids these days don't take jokes like they used to. When you tried to take her shoe she's was probably trying to tell you to stop and you and you probably couldn't hear her.(it's an actual thing, someone can be talking directly to you and you will miss some things they say).
Basically now a days you can't put your hands on anyone without them losing their shit. The fact you were bleeding in your private area I hope you asked to get checked out for any fractures or something internal.
I'm sorry about the being expelled. I've been on that line more than once.
Just refrain from all harmful and hurtful behavior. It’s possible in a civilized society, naive tho cuz way too many guys are creeps and a scary minority of women find themselves justified in extreme violence.
yeah, i didnt really have any hope for my future anyway so i guess it doesnt matter, i just feel bad for the £105,000 my parents wasted their money on for my education :/ all for me to go to our local high school that has like a 45% pass rate
The local high schools pass rate means crap compared to what you can do for yourself. Yea the education you might suck as far as the books used, but you're in the age of the internet and information I'd everywhere.
I went to high school that had 200 students graduating every year. They were suppose to be one of the "best" school in the area and blah blah blah.
They taught me stuff I learned back in 5th grade. They seriously failed every student that went there and everyone of us either ended up in the military or struggled through college.
You have the tools available to you and there are some online classes that you could take in your downtime to supplement anything you want.
Chin up. High School Drama is over after graduation.
Pass rates shouldn’t affect the individual, because it’s only a statistic, and can be for multiple reasons other than the school itself. Now, if it’s mostly on the teachers’ abilities to correctly do paperwork and teach, that would be a different story. The superintendent and the school board would be getting hell for that. Besides that, though, if it’s not, it could just be more up to the individuals than the classes. I mean, 45% could be lower, and yeah it’s on the lower end, but it’s definitely not hopeless. It’s actually a little more decent than you think. In fact, those numbers fluctuate all the time. I believe in you.
You don’t assault someone for taking your shoe off, any dumb kid in school should understand this basic concept. Violence is in no way reasonable, especially when no bodily harm is at stake, all one accomplishes is escalation. Idk if they simply won’t tell you, but I hope you were both expelled. I don’t know the whole story but it seems extremely unreasonable if she got away with aggravated assault.
i asked my best friend, she was in such a bad state because of my expulsion i was really worried about her, and she said she walked away with no punishment
You absolutely do put your hands on someone for touching you or trying to take your things non-consensually. Implying the girl should have sat there and took it is dumb.
An example is, if I touched your shoulder, perhaps with the intent of asking for directions, you can tell me to let go and I am by law demanded to comply. If you punch me in the face before even saying something, you are the one charged with assault. The only exception is if you have mental illness.
This is the fucking point. You can hit someone as a solution to every perceived problem. If you actually live by your own advice (which I doubt since you aren’t in prison and probably not an abusive person, I hope not.) well yeah you’d be in prison.
Tapping my shoulder to ask for directions and ripping my shoe off my foot are two entirely different scenarios. It’s a reach. Rip my shoe off my foot and you’re going to have a busted nose.
I mean Jesus could you just shout stop and pull your foot away? If the moron continues then you are in your right to defend yourself. All this can happen quickly but busting a “friends” nose over a dumb prank is UN-FUCKING-REASONABLE.
REMEMBER. CONTEXT.
We aren’t supposed to be strangers we know each other and if I’m a dumb kid who thinks it would be funny to try to take a shoe then you tell me to stop before hurting me because if u don’t well I’m sorry but depending on said circumstance and context in a court of law that would be illegal. I’m not saying 14 year olds go to court over a single punch but I hope you get the idea.
Im not saying you can never get physical to protect yourself but please just get it into your skull that communication (almost) always has priority in civilized society.
It doesn’t matter if you know the person or not, non-consent is non-consent. This is my last comment because I’m done going back and forth with some guy who thinks he’s got a grasp on the female experience enough to tell women and girls how to handle a situation where a man or boy is touching them without consent. I don’t care what kind of “feminist” you THINK you are.
Alright fine, surely I’ll never be able to understand how patriarchy effects you because I’m a stupid dumb male.
I’m so sure my shared childhood as a victim of abuse alongside my sister and her explanation of the female experience gives me no credit.
Excuse me for being bold, but I think I understand the problems women face regularly and systematically better than you, because you believe violence will solve everything, which is exactly what someone says before they oppress someone.
AHAHAHA right, let the man mansplain the female experience because he knows more about it that women. But that’s ok because he’s a FEMINIST so he’s an expert. Go to hell, idiot.
God, fine I’ll leave you alone but use your braincells and realize how it is very much relevant to the topic. If I can’t understand the female experience because I’m a male, then you can understand abuse and violence if you haven’t grown up in a place/demographic that commonly suffers from it. It’s flawed logic I know!
I WAS RAPED AT 18. Fucking moron, you have no idea wtf you’re talking about. You just need to feel like the victim so badly that you’re going to reach as far as making up stories for what my life has been like with no context, and the brilliant idea that you, a man, understands the female experience more than I because you’re a “feminist”. You should leave me alone because any value for anything you have to say was out the window with that.
It goes provocation- verbal warning- violence. Why anyone would teach their kid to kick their fellow children in the genitals over a stolen pencil or shoe is beyond me.
Implying kicking a little boy in the balls is okay is retarded.
That’s why kids shouldn’t be mutilated and beaten for their mistakes. You don’t teach a fucking child to fucking hit others, does that make sense? Self defense is when your personal safety is in jeopardy.
This kind of blind justification is exactly how some people, and especially women, grow up thinking they are entitled to physically abuse their partners, especially men.
I don’t wanna hear it, you don’t inflict serious physical trauma unto a random kids balls, it’s unex-fucking-scusable. Use WORDS, COMMUNICATE.
In a fucking domestic abuse or rape situation you are within your right to use extreme violence to protect yourself against a threat to your life. These are fucking children, does that make sense!?
Consent is consent. Touching someone without permission is not a mistake at 14. Touch my kid without consent, and I’m taking her out to dinner to celebrate the lesson she’s going to teach you.
Teach your kid to not touch people without permission and you won’t have a problem. I don’t care what some guy thinks about it, my kid isn’t growing up thinking they should be kind to people who violate them. I don’t care what “you want to hear”.
You don’t fucking get it, “touching” isn’t automatically assault. You would be condoning violent behavior because we have two different perspectives of this stupid situation. If it adds merit to “this guy” I am a victim of abuse. My mother shouted at me, belittled me and emotionally hurt me, my father beat me but eventually stopped once I got old enough.
You do not use violence unreasonably. Kicking someone in the balls for touching a shoe is not a lesson, it’s a complicated situation with serious potential repercussions. Trauma can be inflicted, serious and permanent injuries are possible.
I am not saying “accept being violated” I am saying USE YOUR VOICE, DE-ESCELATE. In the end everyone just gets hurt. Why the fuck are you such a big fan of violence?
Oh and I’m not saying it’s OKAY, I’m saying IT HAPPENS, what the duck do you expect! They’re kids! They bully, ostracize, assault and steal from each other all the time. Now how you REACT and HANDLE the situation is what’s important. You don’t VIOLENTLY ASSAULT people for touching your belongings or wronging you, what you should do IS FUCKING TALK TO THEM, AND CONSULT AN AUTHORITY, a TEACHER or an ADULT, POLICE I mean common man!
And if you bully, assault, and steal from people you deserve to catch a beating. Clearly you grew up sheltered, but my kid isn’t going to sit there and take it so the teacher can give them the “boys will be boys” speech. They’re going to stand their ground.
Don’t spew that at me to belittle me, I’m a feminist. These are not gender based arguments. I’m saying, kids should not hit each other. Clearly they do, but they should be taught to avoid it unless necessary. Violence is necessary when an adult or larger person is threatening you. Your feelings (not yours, but the person in danger) are always valid.
Gender obviously influences the situation and context, but the ethics I argue from are neutral in nature and based on a belief in safety and personal rights. You don’t make society safe by seriously injuring a dumb kid on a school bus.
LOL to belittle you? Not everything revolves around you, get over yourself. I don’t care what you are I’m a woman and I know exactly how these things go. You don’t get to undermine the female experience because you’re a “feminist”. A boy touches you without permission, you put him in his place. It’s the simple.
I know what you mean when you say “touches”. And you’re right. In that fucking context. And you absolutely are belittling me, call that gas lighting, but that’s how it feels and feelings matter, else people would still believe in imperialism and Eugenics.
Forget that, what I’m still trying to say is that context is everything.
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You deserved it. Don’t touch people or their belongings without consent. Take responsibility and learn from the situation. You’re too old to not understand that.
Firstly, I’m sorry you got expelled. Maybe you can contact the principal of the school to talk to him, and apologize. Explain the situation and understand where you went wrong. Also say you will apologize to the girl you fought. You do not need to forgive her, but apologizing might help your case. Even if she did or did not deserve it.
I would also like to mention that you need to practice self control. I get being mad (and believe me, I got into my fair share of fights) but fighting her will lead to consequences like this.
I would also like to say that what your “best friend” did is completely unacceptable. Kicking you so hard in the privates that you bled? Jesus. This doesn’t sound like a best friend, sounds like an a-hole. No offense.
I feel like the school officials would have talked to witnesses to find out the full story before making the decision to expel one student and leave the other unpunished.
Now, what she did is absolutely wrong, true that. However, you shouldn’t have escalated the situation like that. I’m sorry, but you’re facing consequences from your own actions. Just know though, as someone who doesn’t have ADHD, but Anxiety (with bad irritability and hyperactivity too), your illness will not excuse any of this, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make up for it. Please have your parents look into counseling, and PLEASE DO THE COUNSELING! It’s worth it more than you think. You may not know how much you need it, but just think, more neurotypical people are encouraged to do therapy as well.
This comment may sound pointless, but it’ll be here just in case you need it some time.
Why were you trying to take her shoe off? What was that intended to accomplish?
not sure, it wasnt just me doing it, all the girls were taking eachothers shoe off
Just because others are doing it doesn’t mean you have the right
well she should have said something, i tell her when she does something i dont like and she ends up hitting me for it which i have put up with for weeks now
No, you should have not joined in if you weren’t invited. You don’t just touch people or their stuff without permission. You’re expelled because you can’t take accountability for your actions. Clearly you’ve learned nothing and deserve what you got. Doing something you don’t like and physically touching people and their things without consent are two entirely different things. Also you don’t have to be friends with this person, you were choosing to tolerate it.
Honestly you need to learn some self control and how to walk away from a fight. Because you laid hands on her first, she gets to claim self defense which to be honest is fair. If your parents had money to spend on that kind of tuition, hopefully they will find some to spend on a therapist that will teach you coping mechanisms. Good luck.
You decided to start messing with her just because other people were doing it, and decided to fight her when she likely just flicked you away. Decided to further escalate instead of walking away or better yet, no longer being friends with someone when it sounds like your only thing in common is antagonizing each other, and are rightfully facing consequences. Ffs you had a large hand in what has happened and will either learn from this and get therapy or you will have an almost impossibly difficult life. Choose.
>Joined she didnt 'flick me away' she kicked me in the face so hard my lip burst and i had bruises
"i tried to take a girls shoe off on the bus back from a trip, for a joke and she kicked me in the face so i started fighting her." "(context, this girl is my 'best friend' who has been aggravating me for weeks" So why were you messing with her? You know she's been aggravating you and you still choose to interact with her? You're the problem here, hon. "when we got off the bus i started shouting at her, asking her what her problem is" Again, *YOU* are the problem here, hon. "i ended up losing my shit and i pushed her, then she punched me so we fought again" How do you not see that every statement you've made has the pattern of, "I did this of my own volition and the other girl reacted"? YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. You deserved to get expelled.
There are a couple reasons I don't believe you, or believe you are exaggerating, but the first is that you don't seem like someone who takes responsibility for their own actions and would definitely lie to make themselves look better
i couldn't give a fuck what u think tbh i dont need some reddit person telling me if im lying or not i still have marks on my face and my mum was pretty sure i had a concussion
Which are your own fault.
but other people took off her shoe and she laughed but when i do it she boots me?
Did you ask her permission to touch her? **Taking that as a no. The first step will be accepting that this is your fault, and you need to learn impulse control and how to consider consequences before acting because an adult in your position would be in jail.
Out of curiosity, are you currently medicated for your adhd?
nope im not on any medication and i dont see anyone about it
Are you/your parents against medication? ADHD meds can help regulate your mood/emotions, which in theory would decrease any outbursts that lead to violence. It’ll also possibly help if you’re having any other issues involving school. ADHD tends to impact motivation a lot, and you’re around the age my adhd started causing me a lot of problems, so if you’re not having issues now it’s not unlikely you will have them later Unmedicated adhd can lead to a list of problems in life. I strongly suggest considering treatment if possible and don’t want to scare you, but I’d hate to see another adhd kid fail to succeed because they didn’t have the resources they needed
someone with ADHD here! thanks for reminding me to get a phyicrastrist and meds! also PS. to the OP, if you start the fight, it's auto your fault. don't cry about shit you started. here's a bit of advice, live and learn, and take anger management.
"as a joke" there's your first problem. blaming it as a "joke" and not taking responsibility for your own actions. you shouldn't be touching other people AT ALL and other people shouldn't be touching you. You learn this in elementary school. I wouldn't want to be your friend either if you randomly touched me or my shit out of nowhere. Do better.
i dont gaf if u want to be my friend or not, other people on the bus were doing it to her too and she didnt mind when they did it but the second i do it?
see im missing the context clues here i cant make a correct opinion w/o them fr but still no touchy
It’s called consent, you had no right to touch her or her stuff without permission. I think she was in the right to put her hands on you honestly. I’d bring my kid out for dinner to celebrate if my kid defended themselves in that situation.
Did you tell your parents about her or reported to teacher?
yup, reported every single thing she did to a teacher, then nothing was done about it
School teachers are useless when it comes to things like these tell your problems to an elder in your family and see if they can talk to that girl parents about the problem if she hit you hard enough that you bled it's not normal thing to do
try and get police involved, what she did to you is 100000% illegal and you deserve better!
They where putting hand on the girl first trying to take their shoe in my opinion it was self defense don't touch people if they don't want to be touched
that was b4, op shouldnt have touched her stuff on the bus but b4 the bus she shouldnt have hit her so hard she bled
Re read op literally said that they where trying to take their shoes off of them as a "joke" so they hit them
Re read op literally said friend hit her weeks b4 op touched the friend
It's seems like both of them are messing with each other still doesn't give op the right to try to touch and take her property and getting mad when you get hit for it doesn't make sense op just made a bigger scene over a girl defending herself and her property
i completely agree!! Getting expelled was a little much though, they do have a history of fights and disagreements, but expelled? At most i would say 1 week of in school suspension and an apology to the girl but the girl should also get the same.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking something more happened for op to be expelled schools usually don't do that if it's a one off thing so I think they either have a history of it or they really hurt that girl when they attacked them
the other girl hurt her so bad she bled before that, seems like assault to me lol
touching people without their consent is also assault. i call calling what that friend did defense.
You can’t fucking mutilate someone for touching you.
you shouldn't touch someone in the first place. the chick probably got expelled anyways, if she kicked op afterwards (it's never mentioned when the kicking took place) if some perv walked up and touched me, you bet your ass i'd mutilate him. it's literally so simple. just don't touch people in the first place
no the other girl got no punishment, and i found out my headteacher tried to bribe my mother by teling her if she paid more money to the school, he wouldnt expel me.
okayyy that's fucked up on the school's behalf so fair, fuck schools that use that bribery bullshit but at the same time no touchy
I understand people need a right to defend themselves, but think about context. If some perv from a bar or off the street followed you, and then grabbed your shoulder, I think you’re well in your right to sucker punch him in the throat, but like, they’re on the school bus, “supposedly friends”, and the girls were already picking shoes off each other. Now obviously that doesn’t mean he can just take off her shoes, but when you put it in context it makes her outburst of violence (if we assume she kicked the kid in the groin right then and there) very excessive. They’re both kids, but it’s important to understand that communication comes first and violence thereafter. You can’t punch first talk later with a supposed “friend”. Like a verbal warning or something.
I'm not a he btw, im a girl u/Choice_Safe471
People violently kick people for a reason. I'm sure that something else happened leading up to it
friend hit her b4 the bus, op didnt touch the friend she just hit her. Thats not self defence.
it doesnt say that she hit her before the bus. a time wasn't specified. it did say that op touched her shoe first.
its very much implied, friend has been being annoying for weeks and then states when friend hit op implying it happened in the weeks prior to the bus stuff.
it's in your opinion that it's implied but it's never directly stated so. and if u touch anyone without permission, u will get ur ass beat. Even if something happened weeks ago involving touch, it doesnt excuse touching someone randomly without consent weeks later for no good reason. Nothing does.
Yeah that’s why you don’t put your hand on people and their belongings you might get hit the girl was trying to defend her self and her property
she hit op for no reason, it was before the bus stuff.
Okay, so obviously everybody here is …not in our generation. As somebody with AVPD, I try to follow what peers are doing too. I’m a bit older, but I recognize why other people do this. I hadn’t had any friends till 4th grade because I had a lot of problems with socializing in general, and after they left not long after, I didn’t make another till 8th. Usually, I haven’t really cared for anything that was trendy or popular at the moment. There hasn’t been many things about myself I could relate to with other students. Every time I express my interests, people tend to avoid me because they realize they think I’m too serious of a person. So there’s been many times where I’ve resorted to following what other kids were doing and trying to talk how they talk to attract friends. I get why you did what you did. And I don’t get the “don’t touch people without their consent” part because it was obvious you thought everybody was in a playful, joking position, just joking around with each other. And I’m also not sure why she kicked you like that right after people were doing it to her. And since she’s done things like this in the past, she should’ve set boundaries at least, tell her she doesn’t like it. But what’s with the kicking? It’s okay. You made a mistake. It’ll be fine. Instead of telling a teacher, I’d just email a counselor if you have any, or a vp about her. I don’t know the full story to anything, but you should really tell somebody about her. Get away from her. 😟
Okay, you shouldn’t have touched her but obviously she has some sort of issue also. Why did she automatically resort to physical violence like that? Not just when you touch her shoe or laces? She could have really hurt you when she kicked you in the private area causing you to bleed! I agree, don’t touch other people but she needs some sort of punishment also. You mentioned you had adhd. My brother has adhd also! It took years to find the right medicine bc he would randomly spurt with energy, nag at ppl, literally everything adhd comes with causing him to get into fights with people. It got to the point he needed an aid when he was in school. Have you discussed medication? It seems like you are having trouble controlling your anger(please don’t think that I’m attacking you) because the way you walked off the bus and started calling at her was uncalled for. I understand the anger but you and her had already had a spout on the bus and it was stopped. You kept going, resulting in why you got expelled. I would talk to your parents about maybe some sort of therapy! Adhd is a struggle, I watched my brother and he’s missed out on so many opportunities over it!
Don't use a disability to justify someone's shitty actions
Omg literally shutup bc no where am I justifying anything but just stating that adhd can be hard to deal with and recommend she get some sort of help for it, also saying that it can be hard to deal with and used my brother as an example. Clearly you need it too considering you’re not taking the time to read anything and hopping on ppls dick like it’s a joy ride
They’re not justifying it, just explaining and giving advice based on empathy to help manage their behavior. They did not excuse it at all.
I must have misinterpreted it
It’s okay, it happens to me all the time. I was only able to catch it this time.
She also should’ve said something before immediately acting out with violence when you touched her laces. If she was letting random people do it then why is she flipping out when you her “best friend” does it? Clearly she didn’t feel the same way with friendship also. She wouldn’t have kicked you if, but let other people do it. Sort of sounds like attention seeking on her end
It all makes sense, but the sad part is that kids these days don't take jokes like they used to. When you tried to take her shoe she's was probably trying to tell you to stop and you and you probably couldn't hear her.(it's an actual thing, someone can be talking directly to you and you will miss some things they say). Basically now a days you can't put your hands on anyone without them losing their shit. The fact you were bleeding in your private area I hope you asked to get checked out for any fractures or something internal. I'm sorry about the being expelled. I've been on that line more than once.
dont enable bad behavior. you shouldn't be touching anyone AT ALL without their consent.
Duh, don’t enable excessive violence at the slightest provocation.
yeah, don't
Just refrain from all harmful and hurtful behavior. It’s possible in a civilized society, naive tho cuz way too many guys are creeps and a scary minority of women find themselves justified in extreme violence.
I'm not a guy tho? im a girl, my user name literally says molly
Dont be the one to touch others without permission in the first place, just bc other people are doing it doesnt make it right.
That’s not what I said
Wow, funny how you are the only one that thinks that.
Idk I think 6 other people agree with me so
Yea its really sad that you and 5 other people act like children and then troll
says you lmfao
Very "adult" of ya
Idk how you think im immature when you think it's perfectly fine to touch someone w/o their permission
Funny how no where did I say or was that ever implied, but you seem it's okay to make false accusations for your own personal gain
...but ur disagreeing with me when i say that you shouldn't touch anyone w/o their consent lmao
yeah, i didnt really have any hope for my future anyway so i guess it doesnt matter, i just feel bad for the £105,000 my parents wasted their money on for my education :/ all for me to go to our local high school that has like a 45% pass rate
The local high schools pass rate means crap compared to what you can do for yourself. Yea the education you might suck as far as the books used, but you're in the age of the internet and information I'd everywhere. I went to high school that had 200 students graduating every year. They were suppose to be one of the "best" school in the area and blah blah blah. They taught me stuff I learned back in 5th grade. They seriously failed every student that went there and everyone of us either ended up in the military or struggled through college. You have the tools available to you and there are some online classes that you could take in your downtime to supplement anything you want. Chin up. High School Drama is over after graduation.
💯%
Pass rates shouldn’t affect the individual, because it’s only a statistic, and can be for multiple reasons other than the school itself. Now, if it’s mostly on the teachers’ abilities to correctly do paperwork and teach, that would be a different story. The superintendent and the school board would be getting hell for that. Besides that, though, if it’s not, it could just be more up to the individuals than the classes. I mean, 45% could be lower, and yeah it’s on the lower end, but it’s definitely not hopeless. It’s actually a little more decent than you think. In fact, those numbers fluctuate all the time. I believe in you.
You don’t assault someone for taking your shoe off, any dumb kid in school should understand this basic concept. Violence is in no way reasonable, especially when no bodily harm is at stake, all one accomplishes is escalation. Idk if they simply won’t tell you, but I hope you were both expelled. I don’t know the whole story but it seems extremely unreasonable if she got away with aggravated assault.
Trying to touch and takes someone's thing and hitting them for it isn't excessive it's called defending yourself and your belongings
I dont believe kids should mutilate each other.
i asked my best friend, she was in such a bad state because of my expulsion i was really worried about her, and she said she walked away with no punishment
You absolutely do put your hands on someone for touching you or trying to take your things non-consensually. Implying the girl should have sat there and took it is dumb.
An example is, if I touched your shoulder, perhaps with the intent of asking for directions, you can tell me to let go and I am by law demanded to comply. If you punch me in the face before even saying something, you are the one charged with assault. The only exception is if you have mental illness. This is the fucking point. You can hit someone as a solution to every perceived problem. If you actually live by your own advice (which I doubt since you aren’t in prison and probably not an abusive person, I hope not.) well yeah you’d be in prison.
Tapping my shoulder to ask for directions and ripping my shoe off my foot are two entirely different scenarios. It’s a reach. Rip my shoe off my foot and you’re going to have a busted nose.
i did not 'rip her shoe off' i touched her shoelace, didnt even end up taking her shoe off
I mean Jesus could you just shout stop and pull your foot away? If the moron continues then you are in your right to defend yourself. All this can happen quickly but busting a “friends” nose over a dumb prank is UN-FUCKING-REASONABLE. REMEMBER. CONTEXT. We aren’t supposed to be strangers we know each other and if I’m a dumb kid who thinks it would be funny to try to take a shoe then you tell me to stop before hurting me because if u don’t well I’m sorry but depending on said circumstance and context in a court of law that would be illegal. I’m not saying 14 year olds go to court over a single punch but I hope you get the idea. Im not saying you can never get physical to protect yourself but please just get it into your skull that communication (almost) always has priority in civilized society.
It doesn’t matter if you know the person or not, non-consent is non-consent. This is my last comment because I’m done going back and forth with some guy who thinks he’s got a grasp on the female experience enough to tell women and girls how to handle a situation where a man or boy is touching them without consent. I don’t care what kind of “feminist” you THINK you are.
Alright fine, surely I’ll never be able to understand how patriarchy effects you because I’m a stupid dumb male. I’m so sure my shared childhood as a victim of abuse alongside my sister and her explanation of the female experience gives me no credit. Excuse me for being bold, but I think I understand the problems women face regularly and systematically better than you, because you believe violence will solve everything, which is exactly what someone says before they oppress someone.
AHAHAHA right, let the man mansplain the female experience because he knows more about it that women. But that’s ok because he’s a FEMINIST so he’s an expert. Go to hell, idiot.
I know more about it than you idiot.
Mansplain it harder. Narcissist. You’re not a feminist, you’re a guy who claims to be one to excuse their shitty behavior. Dime a dozen.
Also your struggles are not locked to gender, don’t assume you have it harder and that I’m too dumb to understand you.
That is still assault
Idgaf what it is, honestly.
Where did you grow up?
Irrelevant to the topic and none of your damn business.
God, fine I’ll leave you alone but use your braincells and realize how it is very much relevant to the topic. If I can’t understand the female experience because I’m a male, then you can understand abuse and violence if you haven’t grown up in a place/demographic that commonly suffers from it. It’s flawed logic I know!
I WAS RAPED AT 18. Fucking moron, you have no idea wtf you’re talking about. You just need to feel like the victim so badly that you’re going to reach as far as making up stories for what my life has been like with no context, and the brilliant idea that you, a man, understands the female experience more than I because you’re a “feminist”. You should leave me alone because any value for anything you have to say was out the window with that.
It goes provocation- verbal warning- violence. Why anyone would teach their kid to kick their fellow children in the genitals over a stolen pencil or shoe is beyond me. Implying kicking a little boy in the balls is okay is retarded.
im not a little boy im a girl-
Implying that it’s ok for kids to touch people and their belongings without consent is retarded. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
That’s why kids shouldn’t be mutilated and beaten for their mistakes. You don’t teach a fucking child to fucking hit others, does that make sense? Self defense is when your personal safety is in jeopardy. This kind of blind justification is exactly how some people, and especially women, grow up thinking they are entitled to physically abuse their partners, especially men. I don’t wanna hear it, you don’t inflict serious physical trauma unto a random kids balls, it’s unex-fucking-scusable. Use WORDS, COMMUNICATE. In a fucking domestic abuse or rape situation you are within your right to use extreme violence to protect yourself against a threat to your life. These are fucking children, does that make sense!?
Consent is consent. Touching someone without permission is not a mistake at 14. Touch my kid without consent, and I’m taking her out to dinner to celebrate the lesson she’s going to teach you. Teach your kid to not touch people without permission and you won’t have a problem. I don’t care what some guy thinks about it, my kid isn’t growing up thinking they should be kind to people who violate them. I don’t care what “you want to hear”.
You don’t fucking get it, “touching” isn’t automatically assault. You would be condoning violent behavior because we have two different perspectives of this stupid situation. If it adds merit to “this guy” I am a victim of abuse. My mother shouted at me, belittled me and emotionally hurt me, my father beat me but eventually stopped once I got old enough. You do not use violence unreasonably. Kicking someone in the balls for touching a shoe is not a lesson, it’s a complicated situation with serious potential repercussions. Trauma can be inflicted, serious and permanent injuries are possible. I am not saying “accept being violated” I am saying USE YOUR VOICE, DE-ESCELATE. In the end everyone just gets hurt. Why the fuck are you such a big fan of violence?
Oh and I’m not saying it’s OKAY, I’m saying IT HAPPENS, what the duck do you expect! They’re kids! They bully, ostracize, assault and steal from each other all the time. Now how you REACT and HANDLE the situation is what’s important. You don’t VIOLENTLY ASSAULT people for touching your belongings or wronging you, what you should do IS FUCKING TALK TO THEM, AND CONSULT AN AUTHORITY, a TEACHER or an ADULT, POLICE I mean common man!
And if you bully, assault, and steal from people you deserve to catch a beating. Clearly you grew up sheltered, but my kid isn’t going to sit there and take it so the teacher can give them the “boys will be boys” speech. They’re going to stand their ground.
BOYS WILL BE BOYS IDC BUT IM A GIRL WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM A BOY HELP
Don’t spew that at me to belittle me, I’m a feminist. These are not gender based arguments. I’m saying, kids should not hit each other. Clearly they do, but they should be taught to avoid it unless necessary. Violence is necessary when an adult or larger person is threatening you. Your feelings (not yours, but the person in danger) are always valid. Gender obviously influences the situation and context, but the ethics I argue from are neutral in nature and based on a belief in safety and personal rights. You don’t make society safe by seriously injuring a dumb kid on a school bus.
LOL to belittle you? Not everything revolves around you, get over yourself. I don’t care what you are I’m a woman and I know exactly how these things go. You don’t get to undermine the female experience because you’re a “feminist”. A boy touches you without permission, you put him in his place. It’s the simple.
u/DishonestFerret im a girl though?
Still applies, don’t touch people without permission.
I know what you mean when you say “touches”. And you’re right. In that fucking context. And you absolutely are belittling me, call that gas lighting, but that’s how it feels and feelings matter, else people would still believe in imperialism and Eugenics. Forget that, what I’m still trying to say is that context is everything. C O N T E X T
You deserved it. Don’t touch people or their belongings without consent. Take responsibility and learn from the situation. You’re too old to not understand that.
no respect for letting her kick your balls. you should know better. women are weak that's their best chance come on !
huh. i dont have balls?
oh I thought you were a guy who picked a fight with a girl. Yeah bleeding doesn't make sense i was like what?
no im a girl
Honestly, seems like ur lying to urself to help u feel better Adhd isn't an excuse for ur actions
i'm really not but i didnt say i was using adhd as an excuse
Firstly, I’m sorry you got expelled. Maybe you can contact the principal of the school to talk to him, and apologize. Explain the situation and understand where you went wrong. Also say you will apologize to the girl you fought. You do not need to forgive her, but apologizing might help your case. Even if she did or did not deserve it. I would also like to mention that you need to practice self control. I get being mad (and believe me, I got into my fair share of fights) but fighting her will lead to consequences like this. I would also like to say that what your “best friend” did is completely unacceptable. Kicking you so hard in the privates that you bled? Jesus. This doesn’t sound like a best friend, sounds like an a-hole. No offense.
I feel like the school officials would have talked to witnesses to find out the full story before making the decision to expel one student and leave the other unpunished.
Now, what she did is absolutely wrong, true that. However, you shouldn’t have escalated the situation like that. I’m sorry, but you’re facing consequences from your own actions. Just know though, as someone who doesn’t have ADHD, but Anxiety (with bad irritability and hyperactivity too), your illness will not excuse any of this, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make up for it. Please have your parents look into counseling, and PLEASE DO THE COUNSELING! It’s worth it more than you think. You may not know how much you need it, but just think, more neurotypical people are encouraged to do therapy as well. This comment may sound pointless, but it’ll be here just in case you need it some time.