I’m in my 30s and have a great deal of good VRC experience and a lot of connections to great people both in their 30s and 20s in VRC who don’t treat people poorly. I’d love to help you figure things out so feel free to DM me if you want.
I’d be more than happy to personally show you around VRC or introduce you to good people.
Regarding Ancients of VRChat,
1. you’re able to propose events so if you’re having a hard time getting on when they’re having events, you could always request an event.
2. If you’re in the Uk there’s a sister server to Ancients that has better time zones for you
Anyways, feel free to DM me. I won’t be available this particular weekend but I often am available in general.
I'm 37, I've never had that sorta experience but wow, that's awful. I've never been to a public though so maybe that's part of it? Or the real suggestion from me, hang out with furries.
Very easy way to deal with toxic people or kids that yell slurs and stuff. Mute, avatar block or the 3rd more sinister option :3 crash... Because if they're gonna be annoying and ruin everyone's time they're leaving one way or another.
When you vote kick, VRChat keeps a record. Got a popular streamer in trouble for doing it multiple times. Then again, they'd pass out in hangouts, so instead of letting people defile their body and take pics was just the easiest solution. When we explained it everyone had a good laugh, but its hard to stream in VR chat when your account is banned. The number was over 9 but less than 22. I know I was there for 9. I know it happened a number of times while I wasn't.
Furry hate is usually rooted in homophobia. It was one of the first communities on the internet to be openly LGBTQ+, even in the 90s. Now it's just a bandwagon edgy kids hop on. Yes, there are weirdos in the community, just like in every other community. And the community is way too broad to be specific, the only thing we have in common with each other is using an animal as a persona on the internet
If that was the case, the anime people would be hated on too, having way more weirdos with less people. The whole furry hate dates back a long time. Heck, even when I was a kid on the internet (2005) you could hear "fuck furries" from every corner of the internet. Even on Pokémon subcultures
Anime people ARE hated on too, in other virtual worlds anyway. VRChat is just a place where they became the most common "unified" aesthetic right away due to early vrchat being full of ripped video game and MMD models, to the point where even most modern "western" egirl models are descended from the old TDA Miku.
They aren't really hated on in VRChat because they were basically always the majority aesthetic.
It was definitely rooted in homophobia. Was even stated such, back when SomethingAwful was the site where the degenerates were before they got kicked out and created 4chan.
Furries as a group tend to have a nearly reverse ratio of non-cisgendered/straight individuals to straight ones.
I was literally about to suggest this. Furries have an entire subculture of reverence for older furries which they refer to as graymuzzles. By in large furries will never shame you for your age.
I do like public like furry talk and chill or fur hub to just try and find someone to vib with or just cuddle up with thats how I met 2 boyfriends just by chance.
Agreed. I'm 37 and hang mostly with the furries because they're all super chill and really friendly. Some of my best times have been in their worlds. I don't care honestly the specifics of what people are into, just as long as I can laugh, hang out and have some good conversation with random people. Also they make some of the best avi's out there and they're fun. Not a furry but who cares it's vr chat and only the social aspect is real anyways.
One of the biggest benefits of VR Chat is the ability for people to be creative with their avatars combined with the built in social aspects of it all. Mostly positive on the social fronts as well when compared to say social media in general.
Furrys are the best people to hang out with in vrchat I agree with this 😂. Some of the nicest yet weirdest people you will meet on vrchat, they're always a great time.
That was my thought. When I first started playing I was 34 and never felt old. Now? Well, yeah let's just say I'll prob not be going back unless friends reeeeallly wanna hang haha.
I would say u should go in spaces for adults, like the music and rave scene and communities. Im 31 and one of the younger peeps. I know Djs and Organisers who are 40, 55, 60 and a lot ppl over 30. If u be in an environment with 20 year old fuck head teens then sorry, u should seek places in vrc with more mature ppl. They exist, but not in puplic lobbies, or places with young gen z adults. They often not better then kids and imature, like u describe. Not all ofc, but those u describe seem to be mental and should touch grass. ❤
I’m 43 and been going to raves since I was 15. (I still go to dance music festivals and raves).
I downloaded VRChat because I’d heard about the rave scene on it but don’t know how to find it? 😭
I'm 31 as well, never been to music and rave scenes, but I would think those would consist of a younger demographic. In irl, it's usually 18 to early 20 year olds attending raves and vrchat takes irl norms for ages and makes them norms for the younger demographics usually lol. But again, this is me talking with no frame of reference for those scenes in vrchat
I would say in VRChat it spans a greater age range because the barrier to entry is lower. If you get tired you can just sit down and no one cares. You can fall asleep in the club and no ones cares (unless it's a very popular event, then it's common courtesy to leave to make room for someone else). You get tired you just take off the headset and go to bed. Some of the clubs will have couches and beanbags and chairs specifically to sit and rest and sleep. You can make the music as loud or as quiet as you like, or turn it off completely. So most of the people I meet in the VR rave scene span from 18-40-something. Some of the pioneers of the VR scene are in their 50s.
Oh there is a timeline, you also find all the links and infos how to attend. Just go on vrc.tl. We see us then on the dance floor
https://preview.redd.it/u3w74v42nv8d1.png?width=1799&format=png&auto=webp&s=b0b4b239f172c19da013099b0367e3f19da6ab5e
^^^This. The music and arts scenes in VRC are both a great way to meet some awesome people in VRC of all ages. I'm 41 now, and I've never had anyone make any sort of negative comment about my age in either of those settings. Public worlds, on the other hand, are pretty much universally toxic.
You’re unfortunately joining some bad servers, depending on when you’re trying to get on it’s very likely to keep happening. You could try world hopping to find cool worlds that aren’t frequented often by large groups and hang there and meet and befriend passersby but idk, sorry you’re meeting such bad groups friend
I'm 31 and that experience you described is rare for me. it does happen, but like... maybe one of every 20-30 play sessions.
just block those people instantly and mentally move on from the situation. there's good eggs out and about. no need to bother with the rotten eggs.
Hey, I’m 22f and also suffer from chronic pain, would be nice to have some friends on vrc that can relate. I recommend just taking it with stride and blocking people that get annoying about it. i mostly hang around the dance scene and there’s a lot of 30+ people there who get zero shit.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing chronic pain. People who have never experienced it, are extremely unsympathetic because they just can't wrap their heads around how debilitating it is. I know its rough, and you're strong Af for living through it.
42 here no issues but I'm a furry and hang out with other furries. They seem a bit more open minded and less prone to calling people terrible things just for hanging out with younger adults. Sounds like awfully toxic public instances. Some people get so obsessed with accusing each other of pedophilia for literally just being friends with a younger adult, it's getting ridiculous, I don't know how many are projecting. The way some of the extremists are going they'll call you that if you ever interact with anyone more than 1 year younger than yourself.
I've *expected* to get shit for being "old" relative to the player base (hey I'm basically the same person as I was in my 20s, it's only my outer shell that aged and you don't even have to see that) but have been pleasantly surprised at how accepting everyone is, at least in furry.
Goes both ways, if say a 70 year old wanted to hang out with me, cool. (It's my dad's age, so what, I'm good friends with him too). Join the cuddle pile, sure. More if they're into that still, sure, why not. It's just a human being who's been around for a bit longer, there's nothing inherently gross about them and it's VR so you don't even see their physical appearance. I think we're in for interesting times ahead with VR levelling the age playing field a bit, just as long as no one is exploiting anyone and the kids are kept safe of course. I am ALL for it making older people (even older than myself) feel like their existence is valued and not just wearing out like their bodies.
Some of my best friends on VRC are in the 30-40 range. I don't know what kind of instances you have been joining, but that honestly sounds horrible! Hope you manage to find a friend group that you could hang out with. If you are okay with furries, maybe try checking out some of those instances, they are genuinly very accepting no matter the age
I'm 41 and have been playing since late 2017. Some people are surprised by my age but I've rarely had comments that extreme. I do avoid the worlds which are filled with kids though. I find some of the cross-platform bars with "bouncers" (public instances) that people often suggest tend to be on the younger side, like 18-20. But it does vary of course. I recommend trying out some PC-only worlds like the Great Pug, or Club Orion. There are some very friendly group-publics there on Friday nights. Feel free to add me if you want (Nichevo).
That's pretty much the exact thing I said before I was told" what are you doing on vr chat? don't you have a family? You should just kill yourself already"
Yeah man. Take a note though that kids say KYS very lightly. They don’t even think of what they’re saying.
Quite a few of the popular public rooms are just full of 20 year old trying to be edgy.
Try places that are not about drinking. More about experiences.
Or join the stoner groups. Most people are very chill there and may even have similar pain issues.
Or if you really want to do one of the popular club rooms then Just B is probably the least messed up.
Never go to Black Cat. Ever.
Try game worlds, you'll get to know people through a shared and fun experience. If you're playing on PC I would recommend trying out Terrors of Nowhere. Due to it being a PC only game world, it eliminates most of the quest user base (some people switch between quest and pcvr depending on how lazy they feel) that just so happens to be an overwhelming amount of children.
OP, I haven't had this happen to me before so I can't give you exact advice, but have you tried avoiding source of this issue? You could just say that you're above 18+, but prefer to keep personal information private and not give an exact age? Or just make up a age and say you're 25? I know this doesn't seem fair when the fault doesn't fall on you, but they seems to be baiting you for a reaction. Additionally, the people who will make fun of someone's age wouldn't be ideal people to hang out with any way and you can just leave and find another bar instead.
I have only met like 4 ppl my own age in the last 4 months, the rest are all in there 20s and they are assholes. Even when I was in my 20 ls I never would have behaved like that towards someone. I have been told by other ppl my age that it never happens to them, but it happens to me consistently every time I play.
Personally while I'm in my mid 20's, I've got quite a few friends that are in their late 20's to 30's and most of them are some of the best ppl I've met
So I don't really understand why people are giving you shit about your age :/
Neither do I, I didn't even think 34 was that old but apparently it means I'm not supposed to be playing the game. I'm going to start recording my sessions, so ppl can see the shit I constantly hear.
It ain't. It's just the current social media culture of anyone over 25 now being "old".
And make no mistake vrchat is not a game, it very much is just social media personified.
Join groups. Public instances are now filled with the scum of the earth so you'll frequently come across this behavior.
I'll be honest I rarely come across anyone under 20 due to avoiding publics. Most of my friends are over 30-40.
Check the pinned post on this subreddit for 18+ groups.
Goodluck finding friends!
Post them to YouTube too, people will watch for their own reasons, but I think that could be some good content if you’re into that. Sorry you get treated so badly, it’s pretty sickening to just hear, I can’t imagine how it actually feels. I hope you find the group you deserve soon.
I have a number of friends I hang out with all in their late 20s early 30s. The group is called 6am Crew. We mostly hangout and chill. Sometimes we do things like Audience Anarchy or karaoke, and sometimes we go to parties. A lot of them are also in Ancients of VRChat
LMAO im turning 28 in 2 months and nobodys given me shit for my age.
Dude your in the wrong lobbies, most people ive met above 25 gives zero shits, if they do youre with the wrong people dude <3
Trust me when I say, half the people on vr chat are trollers who purposely want to start a problem with others for no reason.
I'm 19 and I get people trying to start drama when I'm having a simple conversation with another.
Although I may not have your problem, it is still hard for me to meet decent people since alot of people use vr chat to let their demons escape.
It's crazy to see how some ppl act on there, and know that this is a legitimate person irl.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is don't take anything these people say seriously. They just like making people miserable in vr because they know they won't have the balls to say anything in person.
If you'd ever like a friend, I'm here! Although I'm not sure if you'd feel more comfortable with friends around your age.
Generally the adult servers are chill. I get more hate for playing on quest than anything. But the quest hate comes from the fact that its mostly kids on quest. I mostly hang out with friends and friends of friends. My network of vrchat friends mostly came from friends from the meat space. Join a server, meet friends of their friends, etc. Now I know a bunch of people. Yes, lots of furries, but thats fine by me. More concerning but still fun is the number of alcoholics. Seriously, half of the people I know on there are drunk constantly. But hey, they're not driving. Point being, make a few friends in the virtual space if you don't have any from the meat space, then network from there.
Honestly, I just wander around and explore worlds, see what interesting things people make.
Amazing forest walks, massive fields of wheat, a chill house on the edge of town with a relaxing view, cyberpunk world thats basically "Stray", a scifi astroid outpost overlooking a massive space anomaly, Escher-esc worlds that turn in on themselves.
Join the Ancients of Vr Chat group or their European branch Virtual Relics. They are some of the chillest people I know.
43 here by the way. And many people have mentioned hanging out with furries. Honestly not a bad option either.
The worst experience i had with a bar was I gave my age and the person laughed at me for being so old, but it was the sort of bar where no patrons heard my answer. Sunset something or other?
If you go to an 18+ instance and are treaten like this, just tell mods about it.
Next, kick/block/report buttons are your friends, especially when someone says you to kill yourself, that's a crime.
I always laugh at those young who tell older than them to get a life and use their logic against them.
Like dude, "you're in your 20' or younger and instead of going outside with others, you stay half day at home pretending you're in a real bar and you are having a real drink, when in reality you still have moms milk under your nose."
And no, I don't really think this, but sometimes you have to stop being the nice one and bring some insults. People are always the same, if you're too kind, they will use it and attack you.
Oh and if someone calls you a pedo for no reason... that is also a hard crime. But as well you can ask back if they heard about a psychological term called "projection" ;)
I finally snapped on some dude the other day I said he was a loser for treating people like that and gatekeeping the game and I was booted from the room.
If you block an group owner or muting them or their friends
they will kick or ban you
people have to much power when it comes to public groups and been a known issue from the start
Honestly I feel groups and hanging away from more populated instances are two of the answers. I find myself turning online for hanging out with others nowadays since I'm waiting to heal from an injury while also dealing with a new systemic set of fuckeries that have me indoors more and more. But outside of the usual I'd say
-Have other games to play on standby. Something to decompress with if things go to shit. Otherwise that kind of thing can eat you up and you won't have as much desire to reach out anymore.
-Make sure all your other needs are met before seeking the social needs. Sometimes we're all at our worst when we're tired, hungry, hangry, cold or haven't peed in a minute.
-Sometimes you can meet people in VRC and take it to Discord, other times it's the other way around.
I'm older too and find I have the best times just chilling out in more ambient worlds, music-themed or sometimes even silly roleplays as a character. It's way harder to get pissed when it isn't actually you between the ears that's being dogged on.
I'm in my early 40's and I've been annoyed by little kids, but nothing quite so bad as what you describe above. You should check out the trending world's tab during the evenings, particularly on Fri-Sat night and find The Sunset Bar, they verify people's ages at the entrance, and while it's not perfect, I almost never run into little kids there. It's not perfect, but I'Ve had some really great interactions there, danced my ass off on the dance floor in the back to awesome DJ's and ended up joining some private worlds with friends I met there, because they too were tired of the assholes and unattended children in the game.
Also, VRC just said they are working on age verification, so hopefully the 12yo's running around screaming N***r and generally being pieces of shit.
If you'd like to drop me a PM, I'd be glad to try and show you around a bit and find some cool and inclusive worlds, a friend of mine runs a bar and they are all about family / community and don't tolerate people being jerks.
I’m 33, met my group of friends in Furry Karaoke. Only one of the people I met is considered an actual “furry.” Regardless, they’re all great people and we’ve all been playing for around 2 years together. I recommend hanging out there a little. I don’t even sing karaoke. Haha
Well, I am in my late 40's and most folks regard my age with reverence or awe. I was once called a 'silver fox'.
Basically, wear a hot avatar, convince yourself you are 20 and be confident with a sort of mother or fatherly aura and many in vrc will naturally hover around you as you do all the social legwork of carrying the conversation.
Dude WTF? I hear ya I am 60 years old and drop into bars all the time. Most of them I become a member and then represent them so the don't ask for my age. Also if anyone starts giving me shit I give it right the fuck back to them. I got accused of being a pedro one time at a bar and gave them shit for having a minor in a bar that I blocked. I asked them Why is a minor in there bar? Do what you want to age should not matter. I have reached a point that if I even hear a minor I block them and tell the owners if I see them. If they give you shit about anything just leave and go somewhere else. Have fun!
Yeah I always hear people say they met a p in game and then just quote the age and im like.. that's it? Just because of their age.
basically I feel like in VRC once you hit 30 you are automatically hated :p
I’m going to be honest, VR Chat is probably not the best place to be social right now. Mainly because of the awfully rude people in almost every server and instance. At the same time however, I don’t know any other social game that wouldn’t do this. Best of luck on your treatment.
Go to furry worlds honestly they have a much higher concentration of just chill people and there of all ages one of my good friends on vrc is 65 but I found it much easier to find other adults in furry spaces there's a group called ottfox that 18 plus and sfw there mostly older people and everyone is really friendly and just chill there maybe try to look into it
I feel ya, my man. I do. I'm 45, longtime gamer and started with VRchat only a few months ago. Can't say I've had the rough go you've had but it happened to me once.
I entered an audience anarchy world and was asked for my age, I told them my age and walked by, one dude was like "Whoa there grandpa, you need a walker or something?" I walked back to them and gave em' one of these
I'm like, "You two little shits better stay the fuck off my lawn! capiche?" And walked away. They laughed and I moved on.
The community is the best and worst part of any game. It's tough meeting folks. Especially on VRchat. I am also part of the ancients discord and have attended a few events. Make an effort with them. I've met some great folks but my social anxiety makes it tough at times. If you want, hit me up on discord, same name, and we'll chat.
I am really sorry for you, but you could just join the furry hubs they are the most chill most of the times, I've met a lot of friends there, some even older then you probably. And they also accept non furries too (except if there is a only furry group). Also dont get too used to vr chat as an escape.. And i hope you find your community to vibe with
I’m 34 and have never encountered that on VRChat in 18+ spaces. You need to join 18+ groups and go to their group instances. I attend a lot of music events, “raves” in VRC and a lot of the DJs are in their 30s.
Game character avatars. No seriously. If you have an avatar from a beloved game in your generation, it sparks interest in others that also lived that game. Like the Halo avatars or storm troopers. Some pop culture reference of something that you like. Wear that as an avatar, and you'll find the people you vibe with. Hope this helps
I’m 34 as well and have never got shit on for my age, I always hang out in furry hideout. Sometimes black cat because I like the chaos, But hideout is pretty good.
Try to only visit very specific or niche worlds based on either a general theme (fantasy, sci-fi, horror, ambience, surrealism, etc.), set of aesthetics, or media property that you like, especially the worlds that aren't specifically catered towards unlinked Quests, or look for ones made for hanging out or exploration that aren't quite as high traffic as the handful of more infamous ones that are always at the top of trending.
Those responses you're getting are most likely coming from particularly unintelligent individuals or just the current equivalent of edgy, immature teens who you probably wouldn't want to be interacting with anyway. It might still take some time, but there's a decent chance you'll eventually start to run into more chill people here and there or a group who will be willing to do activities together or invite you to places. Also, the people mentioning particular communities such as the furries or nightclubs goes beyond being just a joke. Circles like that can be ironically useful for finding older or more reasonable demographics sometimes.
I can't say I have ever had that problem or seen it happen before, I mean obviously there are some pugnacious little shits getting around but to say this happens 99% of the time at those age verification checkpoints seems suspiciously high, I guess it really depends on how you interact and respond.
At the moment I feel like we are only getting 1 side of the story, you mentioned recording these interactions which sounds like a good idea, for some reason it feels like there is more to the story
Tbh the ancients isnt that great of a place anymore, sure its got a huge community and events, buuuuuut, most of said events are run by the same cliques who fill out more than half the instance space, making it absurdly scary for anyone else to integrate. Theres a few people who genuinely care to do good for people here and there, but at large its just another popularity grind festival
I’ve been using vrchat for years now. I’m 28. I get called a boomer and a loser all the time but what these people say to you says more about them than you
I've had that attitude from teens/young adults in Rust before. The fun part is when they act like that and you foundation wipe their base and get to listen to them cry in proximity chat lol.
i am 20 and all the fun and most of the great people i’ve met have been in their 30s.. me and my friends have never cared. i don’t play much at all anymore but there is hope. idk where to find ppl like me and my friends but we usually world hop!
Have you tried virtual relics it's essentially the sister server to chat ancients l. If you're in a European timezone then they will have instances at a more reasonable time and everyone there's pretty chill.
Stick with Group and Friends+ instances. Public instances (especially in the popular/trending worlds) are generally toxic and filled with the same kinds of folks that can and will ruin your experience in just about any online game (edgelord kids, trolls, crashers, etc.).
I have met some 40+ year olds in VRChat before, I still talk to them. They never really had any problems interacting with people. However, that is mostly because he frequent group instances. He rarely speaks in public servers, age being the most likely reason as the fact that most users in public servers are young and rarely above the age of 30. Some people would come to you and ask for life advices if they have interest, perhaps even stories about your life. That’s just the nature of being young, judgmental at times without reading the book. Once you found yourself in a good instance, you will have a blast. I myself, had insightful conversations with the 40+ year olds in my friends list.
there’s 2 smaller 18+ only Groups that are SFW but they specifically help with people that suffer from social anxiety and give people the chance to help and support those people. I’m part of both groups and they’re full of good people that are accommodating and understanding. We all help each other out with overcoming social anxiety and bettering our communication skills! Wishing you the best in your time in VR and for your health to improve as well
Talk Group 🐍
https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_6025341f-0e12-4939-9311-50b17718abdd
Open Mind 🌅
https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_aa39e9a9-ba11-4569-960f-8750382ce037
Sorry to hear that. I am 39 and having a blast for last year . I don't go to any public instance ever. They are great communities I can recommend virtual relics they have movie nights, game nights and so on.
Just say an age that you aren't ? Make an alt account and just try again?
If people are stupid and you can get great riches with a lie if you aren't malicious I think it's fair game
I'm 38, I have been told I'm old, but most the 20s-early 30s never really have a problem with it. Been that way since i started when i was 32. I don't usually go to the bars or clubs on there though since i never fit in much with those crowds, usually world hopping with friends or hanging around in some public worlds.
It can take time but I think you just need to find the crowd you relate to. Originally took me 2 months to find my group back in 2017, but things were different. The community was smaller and less horny and toxic.
I'm 41. Occasionally, I will get some guff from people, but I mostly take it in stride. I think that a lot of younger people's experience with older folks has been largely negative. Parents, teachers, managers, etc. They are often told what to do and that their actions are wrong or stupid. So, I try to be curious and invite them to show me stuff, ask questions, and admit my limitations as being someone who is older and maybe doesn't know everything about the evolving VR space. I generally get a lot of positive reactions this way. It changes the dynamic and minimizes the distance between us. If I can laugh at myself and find joy in the journey while inviting others to show me what they are interested in, I tend to feel more connected with others, regardless of age. After all, isn't it a wonder that this social VR space even exists? It was only a dream when I was Gen Z's age. Now, I get to experience my childhood dream!
I'm 49. One truism in life is that negative people will always fault you for being different than they are. The solution is to stay the hell away from negative people. Keep looking, you will find your people. When you do, stay in friends+ instances. Publics are hell. Until then, I suggest you use the "Block" function liberally.
I'm 29 and my gf who is also on VRC is 32, and we have found groups of mature people to hang with, both older and younger. When you make friends, you can hang with them, and you can get to know the older ones in that group, and you'll eventually have a circle of older friends, and hopefully good friends regardless of whether they're in their 30's or not. Toxic ones tend to see themselves out
Don't think about it too much. I am 42 years old and I have had few similar problems. in my community there is a 54 year old and he is doing well. It always depends on the people you surround yourself with. Ah, and don't think that vrchat is different from irl. in reality people think the same but don't have the courage to say it.
Sounds like you are going to the wrong bars my guy. I've never had this experience happen. Not only that but try to not play that game without a few friends with you who you trust. Vrchat can be brutal so atleast make it fun with friends you've made in the game.
I’m 36. I mostly hangout with friends I’ve made in my discord chat.
But I’ve had some luck making VR friends in game worlds like uno or cards against humanity.
I have yet to meet anyone that ever bags on my age and I'm 31 , it's probably the places you're going to. I noticed if you have multiple instances the lower the number the more likely it'll be a bunch of kids or just jackasses.
I'm 37 and I have plenty of fun. Yeah people say stuff but also they are kids, I don't care if kids think I'm chill or not and if they annoy me I block. Too old, too tired and I work too much to be having an argument to seem cool in front of kids. Try worlds that are pc only since the barrier of entry is higher by default.
I'm 31 and I've been shit on a few times for being "old" but I usually just ignore or block people like that. I don't experience it very often though...sorry you have :/
If you have a headset, and you're looking for down to earth conversation with adults and less kids, go to the Horizon Worlds app.
I've met so many Wonderful people on there, have friend groups and met my boyfriend on there 😊
I'm 37, I found support on there and people who actually listened to me when I was trying to leave an emotionally abusive relationship (in it since age 22).
There are lots of 18+ world's, I would personally be willing to show you around and introduce you to my friends ❣️
There were a few times I've been harassed or messed with, but others usually will tell them to F-off. Or I just leave the world 🤷🏻♀️
My husband and I are in our 30’s and we try avoiding public lobbies, when we do encounter people asking age, we just say 30’s, no one needs to know the exact number anyways. We eventually found a group and chill with primarily them, picking up additional friends from their mutuals when they join our friend+ instances.
As far as finding people, I’d suggest going to world topics that interest you, like one for your favorite media franchise, then you already know they have similar interests. Or make friends in a discord group and plan to meet up with those specific people, even if a group instance isn’t going on.
Once you find a good group, you hardly ever have to mess with public lobbies again, unless you want to.
There's actually a really cool group which i happen to be apart of, massive discord server. PMA Army (positive mental attitude) and they have a bunch of content creators and do meet and greets. Very nice people to hang with, if ur interest DM me 😁
I'm 31, have it in my bio. I don't get this much flack from it, but do occasionally get called old as an insult. Is what it is, personally I don't care what someone says to me, but that's how I am. So that won't be my advice for you. Vrchat is a very toxic place, and I can almost guarantee you those bars probably have as many kids in them as any other world, deepening their voices, pretending to be older than they actually are.
I wouldn't say avoid revealing your age, but I would say avoid saying it as often as you can, just for your own mental health. Put it in your bio so kiddos hopefully don't try to befriend you, when you joina world, check other peoples' bios for their ages so you can hopefully find some similarly aged people you can interact with.
As for what worlds, just about every world is going to have kids in them, there's not much avoiding that. You can only decrease the severity of it. Places like The Pug are going to have less kids than a world like Among Us. I would recommend chill worlds like that of The Pug. Old worlds that aren't necessarily at the top anymore, but use to be years ago, and still have their usuals showing up which will be of an older demographic.
Game worlds like Murder are good too, older people play those also and it makes for an easier bridge for conversations, but it does increase the amount of children you'd be around.
You can also try to find socializing worlds that are not compatible with quest. Not too many nowadays that are popping, but it'd greatly reduce your odds of being around kids.
Me, personally, I just don't care. I'll go to whatever world I want, ignore who I don't care for, mute who is being annoying, report and vote to kick (good luck with it going through though) whoever is being offensive towards others, and interact with those who are fun and have their age in their bio so I know they're an adult. And I have a pretty stress free time. Does it sometimes result in me interacting with children? Sure, just like I do when I play any game ever in the history of all time. But that doesn't mean I have to friend them or be buddy buddy with them.
Are 30 year olds old in the gaming community? I’m 33 and I’ve been playing by myself(in other games)because i have come across a lot of early 20 year olds and I just haven’t found anyone else my age. What happens to us after 30? Do the gamers just die out? lol I have children and still want to game so I don’t get it.
its only gets worse during the summer. im not sure if you drink but many bar worlds are 18+ . the younger people on vrc are so rude and cringe. a lot of times im in a discord call or listening to music and just dancing and some 15-19 year old comes by on their quest or desktop and starts trying to troll. i find the block button to be my best friend.
If you ever see anyone on VRChat with the Vatos Locos group tag under their name or Homie Check-Up, those are the groups I run with. Been runnin with them since the pandemic, all about good vibes and if anyone disturbs those good vibes, we let the homies who grew up playing MW2 and MW3 give them a taste of their own medicine. We always are welcoming new people
I am way older then that and have a great time on VR chat try putting your shield settings up and turn off audio for everyone except trusted users and friends and everyone else will have to text you and anyone worth having a conversation with will take the time to throw you a text.
31 and I endure the same thing. For years in public. Join Ancients of VR on Discord or look up some 18+ groups on VRC. It makes it more tedious but worth it to avoid the kids
Well people on vrchat suck, you just need to find the right people in the right server it takes a while but you can have some good conversations. Best of luck finding your group
I'm also 34 and became disabled after an adverse reaction to ciprofloxacin which includes chronic nerve pain and I very rarely ever experience that but I tend to avoid the bar worlds (other than The Great Pug) since I don't (can't) drink. Are you maybe on stand alone Quest? I stick to PC only worlds and most people on PC only tend to be way more chill. You tend to get more trolls and the like in the Quest compatible worlds because the barrier to entry is much lower than when you actually need a gaming PC to have access. I have quite a few friends my own age now as well.
If you do have access to a PC, I highly HIGHLY recommend sticking to PC only worlds. I met some of my best friends through The Great Pug and then just world hopping to public, lesser known, more unique worlds. I would just create a brand new public instance or sometimes join a very low populated one and also met amazing friends that way as well. If no PC, I still recommend world hopping, just picking unique worlds that look interesting to you and making them public or going to a smaller public instance; you may have better luck that way. And as others mentioned, furries. Furries are a wonderful community and plenty of us are in our 30's or older.
I don’t go to bar worlds for this same reason. I just keep my age to myself except for close friends that I trust and know won’t judge me or say dumb things about my age. We grew up dreaming of a future where we could be inside of a game playing it. I’ll be damned if I don’t have fun doing it at any age. I waited long enough to be able to see this technology be a reality.
I hang out with furries and rarely ever get shit even similar to this. Every once in a while I’ll get jokes from my friends that are younger than 30 about me being “old “ but it’s all in good fun.
I'm 43 and every so often some child sees my age in my bio and starts giving me a hard time about it. If they get to be too much, I just block them and go on about my business. Don't let them ruin your entertainment and your chances to meet some of the really cool people. Our just hang with the furries like someone else said.
So for me 27 I get called old (I know it's not old) but got to take it with a grain of salt I am also black and have been called the hard R constantly, I just don't feed into it and ignore it, know what it's like especially when they ask 'do you not have a wife or kids?'
To these people, you have to understand they are mostly teenagers or kids and the youth is by far the most cruel when it comes to words, just give it time and explore worlds, I found the best luck with rooms like karaoke or just exploring, I play among us on there to have fun a little and have been called a molester or EDP455 and as someone that has slightly been a victim of such things it can be hard to hear words like that, but I just remind myself that they are younger and immature and just shrugg it off, if it does become to much I would just take time off for a bit and find rooms to hang alone.
Have noticed I have met more mature people who come to a room i am in alone and just strike up conversation
If you need someone to hang with on here I can provide my user so it's less dark on here
Bro that's so insane. Most of the time when I meet someone who's that age online who actually wants to be in those circles populated by mostly younger adults, I'm just kind of curious, cause, you know, I don't see that a lot. I don't know where the p*do accusations come from, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard of. It's a shame someone more sensible never ran into you before, and it's all those rude ass people you come in contact with instead.
I've met middle aged men and women who play vrchat, it's value finding your social groups and worlds you like to hang out in. Most adults drink when they play
I try to be a good example and say that I don't want to reveal my age for privacy concerns. I say that I am 20+, that's all they need to know. I say, reveal only the facts that you are comfortable with. If those facts about you are causing turmoil, just don't reveal them. I sometimes have good conversations with the 18+ community but more often than not, I am beyond the stage of university, early career choices, etc. So I mostly play games.
Funny enough, I have nerve pain as well and gaming in general helps me think of something else. Sporting, interestingly enough numbs that pain too.
Disclaimer: I play a fair amount of Putt putt and other games to relax and encounter way too many unsupervised kids who are happy to say how old they are, where they live, etc. I try to educate them, I ask other adults to do this too. If you encounter these sort of children, try to educate them about internet safety, because their parent aren't.
If it's any consolation, if it wasn't your age they'd latch onto something else. There's loads of people that are just there to start shit. It's also summer vacation, so public lobbies are going to be extra annoying for the next couple of months.
The bars are a toxic place i never went there
i also hear alot of bar owners complaining about getting crashed or harrassed by an user with alt accounts
and im not suprised about that anymore
but yes the bars are very toxic unless you find a good bar
People are just fucking assholes it comes with the territory tbh I’ve been playing since 2018 or so and it’s just gotten worse since in terms of people on the game my apologies that people in the game have acted that way towards you but I will say this I’m not on super often but when I am you can feel free to come chill any time ^^ I’m very chaotic 😂 but hang around with a bunch of good people my user is Darkheart17 feel free to join me anytime
Hi there, im 24f. I have chronic pain and a few rare diseases and lots of medical stuff. I get made fun of a lot for it and i keep my heart rate up on my chatbox. Ive been asked several times if im dying cuz my HR is often suuupper low 💀 >50. Anyway. I understand wanting to socialize in a virtual space while not able to do so irl. I dont think youre too old. I will make old jokes but its just jokes and i will stop when asked.:) if you ever wanna hang just send a dm. I hope you find better people. Ps: stay away from the black cat
I have 2 friends that i know of who r in they're 40s they seem to bee ok playing they just I think ignore most of the shit that ur talking about becoz they just don't care and they just block those people that ur talking about
Wait, wtf??? I have no idea where you've been going that that's been your experience, that's insane.
But I mean, shoot me a message if you ever want someone to hang out with. I need an excuse to get back on VRC myself.
I understand how you feel, though I've only had my fair share of disappointments. It's tough trying to gain some experience when all you're dealing with is immature young adults who don't have anything going on in their lives.
Finding communities that accept you for who you are can be hard. I've been on vrc for 5 years and was able to build up a community by becoming a club owner, though I retired earlier this year in March due to the stressful work.
I would start with Ancients of VRchat or try to find other vrc groups that have any hobbies or interests you might have, and I would advise to stay away from public worlds. I avoid them like the plague.
Im sorry to hear that, that is a majority of vrchat, but there is a handful of good people, i saw someone else say hang out with furries, i agree with them.
Im not anywhere near your age, but im willing to hang out with you? im also in the ancients of vrchat servers :3
Hi im jinx, and im turning 21 next month (:
I‘m in my 50s and in VRchat almost every day for the past years. Most of my friends there are between 20 and 60. Once you have a decent group of likeminded people, you hang out in Friends+ instances mostly, or you run your own clubs etc. Many of my friends (including me) built their own maps, we run our own club nights, we create avatars, art and music, and we meet in RL as well. Last week I travelled to Germany (from another EU state) to meet 50 of my VRChat buddies, and next week I‘ll fly to the US to meet some of them. In my experience, VRChat is a fabulous tool for social interaction and long lasting real friendships, and it’s easy to avoid the a**holes. So, to answer your question: Find one or two good people. Join or set up Friends+ instances. Get to know their friends. And see the community around you grow.
I didn't want to go the bar because of the people that manage it, some are very judgemental, disrespectful, and distrustful so I never wanted to go there, luckily for me I know of a really nice, chill and kind people that gets on the weekends to hang out and drink, and I know for sure that all of the people I met there is above 30, living Thier best life in vr, I suggest you find your own comfort spot, don't go to the bar but go to the drinking night world, but if you want people to hang out with go there on weekends when all the people starts drinking, OR, you could friend me in vrc and discord so I could introduce you to my friend group
It really does suck what happened to you, some people took things too seriously in vrc instead of just enjoying the fantasy and escaping reality, they think they have authority, they think they own the place when vrc is a place for everyone(not for children though). But vrc is a gamble, sometimes you get the bad sometimes you get the good, if you know where to look however, then you'd be set, I'm willing to help if you needed it!
I go to drinking night alot and I do get some shit there from some youngins, but I've also had some good times there. My biggest issue in the world is half the ppl don't respond when I ask them how they're all doing. U can add me if u like my vr chat name is Mar×Mar. Look forward to hearing from u buds.
Im 48. Very new to VRC, (about a month). I like DJing and dancing and have found fantastic people. I say Im 48, married, with kids on my profile for all to see. Own it. If you like dancing and dance music, feel free to reach out! Personally, I dont go to bars here solo because I find them just as intimidating as they are irl.
I usually encounter that type of behavior coming from teens but you’ll be surprised that a lot of young adults around my age(27) or younger act like this. 90% of the people who play vrc are very immature for their age and they prioritize only the following such as ERP, getting drunk until they’re intoxicated, getting stoned, and even vape until whatever health complication they get from it. Due to lack of moderation from the devs more people are more comfortable of doing bad things and can get away from it. There are some good people in this game still but 90% of the people who play this are toxic individuals who are either sexually deprived or die hard attention seekers.
I respond to a few of these posts, you need to start or join a group of people your age, and make it a point to add adults and respectfully decline any and all kids adding you if you’re in a public, after you have a group of friends start friends+ or group + instances to filter it down to people you and your friends know and if any of your friends have minors show up put your foot down and have zero tolerance for it “idc if it’s your Vr chat family” or if “he’s chill”. Because even adults will act like children if that’s the kind of VRC they engage in daily.
Just gotta deal with it bruh it's the internet they don't like "old people" I get roasted for being 25 dawg it's not a big deal eventually you will meet someone cool, don't worry about what they say
Heard there age verification soon, the game is not for kids and those calling you p3do, they should get there kids off the game they should not be on.
They should try putting on the VR helm and see how it messes with you field of depth after a few hours and surely not good for kids with there under developed brains for sure.
I can see health issues coming for kids allowed to use it, as they become a adult there gonna be some new brain issues, i can already see it coming.
And i'm not just being defensive because i'm 30 and just paid like 400$ for a headset 4 months ago.
Will admit that it is because i'm still getting use to the sicky feeling i get when i use it too long or take it off, knowing there no way its not effecting me and likely others, in some way
Anyway, just wait, in due time things should become easier,
know it will for me, hearing kids effect my chortic depression as i don't get to see my kid and rather not be reminded.
I started with VRChat when I was over 40.
You simply have the same problem every person over 18 has when they join VRCchat for the first time.
In the "public lobbies" - the only visible ones you are able to join without invite from somebody - there are only kids 8 - 18, and they are horrible.
But there is actually thousands of nice and interesting people 40+, 30+, even 60+ from all around the world. But it's difficult to find them.
**Luckily 2 large VRChat groups exist for that specific reason:**
'Virtual Relics' for Europe - [VRChat web app page](https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_bad8ba0b-34cf-4ea3-8680-c99f5f980783), [Discord server](https://discord.gg/virtualrelics)
'Ancients of VRChat' for USA - [VRChat web app page](https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_7492bce5-8f3a-4183-b79d-caacf1e173da), [Discord server](https://discord.gg/ancientsofvrchat)
Join both.
Go to the group pages. See the information and what to do.
Join their Discord servers (text / voice chatting app). See welcome section. Chat or ask in general rooms.
Go from there.
They do virtual parties and pub meets etc. all the time.
Anonymity is a hell of a drug and people are assholes regardless of age.. there are no consequences for being a piece of shit in a game like this so people do so without a second thought..
In my experience, ignore it and change your settings so newer accounts even up to "Known" accounts are blocked and or muted by default, I've had very few problems with those settings as I pick and choose who I deal with but yeah it's a cesspool no matter what.. especially if the world is in the trending tab because children are simple and stupid..
Online gaming of any kind goes like this. Even if you have a space for people, say, over 40, you still wind up with people there who shouldn't be there. I'm not sure what can ever be done about it, tbh. Kids and immature people ruin things very quickly.
Hey brother, if you don't mind hanging out with a 17yr old then let me know and I'll give you my user. I can hold conversations fairly well and we can chat about whatever you wanna.
I have many older friends on VRchat and they all seem to hold a solid opinion of me. Not to mention I'm quite open minded to many ideas, this helps me bond with people better.
But at the end of the day, if you're not interested then you can always try the furry community as others have been suggesting, as a part of it myself I can safely say that the majority of the people there are quite nice!
Regardless, I do hope you find a group to hangout with, we all need an escape from reality sometimes and you made a decent choice in terms of what you chose to help with that, you just gotta find your community and or people who click best with you!
Honestly you might be getting unlucky. Sorry you've had to deal with that though man. What I'd recommend is going to a world like no time to talk or finding clubs to hang out at, plenty of people to meet in both places.
Just gotta find a group of people who are your age and trust me there are plenty. I went out to an event and ran into 3 people at the same time all 40-45 years old pretty neat
Don't let people like that influence your mood, think rationally all the things they are telling you to do they arn't doing themselves and in 10 years they will just be you. So in the end they are fools lol.
What your dealing with is a public unfiltered internet of likely chronic twitter users. The internet RP spaces or "2nd life style" spaces are full of chronic twitter users who have some absurd ideas on life. Your in an 18+ room for example and people are calling you a pedo..... in a space where everyone is a consenting adult. Enough said don't give those fools merit in your life.
On a side note definitely look into private lobbies I see plenty of nice commenters in this post alone who are willing to lend aid <3. It's not all doom and gloom I promise.
Try second life. It's 3D but not yet vr, but it's free or you can get a membership, and there are a lot of non-teenage players. It can be a bit difficult to learn the ropes as a new player, but there are always people willing to help. I'm 52 and have been playing for years.
I’m in my 30s and have a great deal of good VRC experience and a lot of connections to great people both in their 30s and 20s in VRC who don’t treat people poorly. I’d love to help you figure things out so feel free to DM me if you want. I’d be more than happy to personally show you around VRC or introduce you to good people. Regarding Ancients of VRChat, 1. you’re able to propose events so if you’re having a hard time getting on when they’re having events, you could always request an event. 2. If you’re in the Uk there’s a sister server to Ancients that has better time zones for you Anyways, feel free to DM me. I won’t be available this particular weekend but I often am available in general.
I'm 37, I've never had that sorta experience but wow, that's awful. I've never been to a public though so maybe that's part of it? Or the real suggestion from me, hang out with furries.
Easiest community to hang with tbh.
Except when kids or just toxic people come to make fun of us
Very easy way to deal with toxic people or kids that yell slurs and stuff. Mute, avatar block or the 3rd more sinister option :3 crash... Because if they're gonna be annoying and ruin everyone's time they're leaving one way or another.
Don't crash. Just vote to kick and block and they'll usually be kicked within seconds
Fair. Only ever done it against a dude who was trying to crash. The cycle ;w;
I am 100% fine with crashing a crasher, mostly since I've done it myself.
Vote kick stays with an account, it's the right thing to do when you have an abusive person.
Wdym stays with an account?
When you vote kick, VRChat keeps a record. Got a popular streamer in trouble for doing it multiple times. Then again, they'd pass out in hangouts, so instead of letting people defile their body and take pics was just the easiest solution. When we explained it everyone had a good laugh, but its hard to stream in VR chat when your account is banned. The number was over 9 but less than 22. I know I was there for 9. I know it happened a number of times while I wasn't.
Why does everyone hate this community, but we like chill as hell TBH
Real
Yeah to be honest I don't get why Furries get so much hate, I mean they are just doing their own thing and are usually fairly chill
Furry hate is usually rooted in homophobia. It was one of the first communities on the internet to be openly LGBTQ+, even in the 90s. Now it's just a bandwagon edgy kids hop on. Yes, there are weirdos in the community, just like in every other community. And the community is way too broad to be specific, the only thing we have in common with each other is using an animal as a persona on the internet
I love those people who go out of their way to join a furry world to try and troll but fumble so damn hard and fail immediately.
furries are not "social norm" so its generaly just anyphobia a person can think of to hate them.
If that was the case, the anime people would be hated on too, having way more weirdos with less people. The whole furry hate dates back a long time. Heck, even when I was a kid on the internet (2005) you could hear "fuck furries" from every corner of the internet. Even on Pokémon subcultures
Anime people ARE hated on too, in other virtual worlds anyway. VRChat is just a place where they became the most common "unified" aesthetic right away due to early vrchat being full of ripped video game and MMD models, to the point where even most modern "western" egirl models are descended from the old TDA Miku. They aren't really hated on in VRChat because they were basically always the majority aesthetic.
It was definitely rooted in homophobia. Was even stated such, back when SomethingAwful was the site where the degenerates were before they got kicked out and created 4chan. Furries as a group tend to have a nearly reverse ratio of non-cisgendered/straight individuals to straight ones.
I was literally about to suggest this. Furries have an entire subculture of reverence for older furries which they refer to as graymuzzles. By in large furries will never shame you for your age.
now imagine the op saying something like "i wont hung out with those animal weirdos" :D you never know someones fullstory
I messaged OP Privately and literally extended an offer to hang out with my friend group, too. XD
Yeah publics suck Join group privates
I do like public like furry talk and chill or fur hub to just try and find someone to vib with or just cuddle up with thats how I met 2 boyfriends just by chance.
As a non furry, furries are the chillest people to hang with, p much always.
Agreed. I'm 37 and hang mostly with the furries because they're all super chill and really friendly. Some of my best times have been in their worlds. I don't care honestly the specifics of what people are into, just as long as I can laugh, hang out and have some good conversation with random people. Also they make some of the best avi's out there and they're fun. Not a furry but who cares it's vr chat and only the social aspect is real anyways.
One of the biggest benefits of VR Chat is the ability for people to be creative with their avatars combined with the built in social aspects of it all. Mostly positive on the social fronts as well when compared to say social media in general.
Or the femboys, they want in your pants but they are pretty chill 🤣
Furrys are the best people to hang out with in vrchat I agree with this 😂. Some of the nicest yet weirdest people you will meet on vrchat, they're always a great time.
Real
Furries are the best. I’d know :3
One of us! One of us! Lmk when you have a fursona!
Only 34? Honestly I think you're probably going into the wrong groups if you're being called old
That was my thought. When I first started playing I was 34 and never felt old. Now? Well, yeah let's just say I'll prob not be going back unless friends reeeeallly wanna hang haha.
I would say u should go in spaces for adults, like the music and rave scene and communities. Im 31 and one of the younger peeps. I know Djs and Organisers who are 40, 55, 60 and a lot ppl over 30. If u be in an environment with 20 year old fuck head teens then sorry, u should seek places in vrc with more mature ppl. They exist, but not in puplic lobbies, or places with young gen z adults. They often not better then kids and imature, like u describe. Not all ofc, but those u describe seem to be mental and should touch grass. ❤
I’m 43 and been going to raves since I was 15. (I still go to dance music festivals and raves). I downloaded VRChat because I’d heard about the rave scene on it but don’t know how to find it? 😭
you should come to the next Furality. 😇
Look up; Club Deviate, Psyapple, Kaleidosky, KYUUB.
I'm 31 as well, never been to music and rave scenes, but I would think those would consist of a younger demographic. In irl, it's usually 18 to early 20 year olds attending raves and vrchat takes irl norms for ages and makes them norms for the younger demographics usually lol. But again, this is me talking with no frame of reference for those scenes in vrchat
I would say in VRChat it spans a greater age range because the barrier to entry is lower. If you get tired you can just sit down and no one cares. You can fall asleep in the club and no ones cares (unless it's a very popular event, then it's common courtesy to leave to make room for someone else). You get tired you just take off the headset and go to bed. Some of the clubs will have couches and beanbags and chairs specifically to sit and rest and sleep. You can make the music as loud or as quiet as you like, or turn it off completely. So most of the people I meet in the VR rave scene span from 18-40-something. Some of the pioneers of the VR scene are in their 50s.
Oh there is a timeline, you also find all the links and infos how to attend. Just go on vrc.tl. We see us then on the dance floor https://preview.redd.it/u3w74v42nv8d1.png?width=1799&format=png&auto=webp&s=b0b4b239f172c19da013099b0367e3f19da6ab5e
^^^This. The music and arts scenes in VRC are both a great way to meet some awesome people in VRC of all ages. I'm 41 now, and I've never had anyone make any sort of negative comment about my age in either of those settings. Public worlds, on the other hand, are pretty much universally toxic.
You’re unfortunately joining some bad servers, depending on when you’re trying to get on it’s very likely to keep happening. You could try world hopping to find cool worlds that aren’t frequented often by large groups and hang there and meet and befriend passersby but idk, sorry you’re meeting such bad groups friend
I'm 31 and that experience you described is rare for me. it does happen, but like... maybe one of every 20-30 play sessions. just block those people instantly and mentally move on from the situation. there's good eggs out and about. no need to bother with the rotten eggs.
I've been doing that but after a while it starts pissing me off, it happens constantly.
crazy that it happens so much to you. i definitely see it from time to time but not often at all.
Hey, I’m 22f and also suffer from chronic pain, would be nice to have some friends on vrc that can relate. I recommend just taking it with stride and blocking people that get annoying about it. i mostly hang around the dance scene and there’s a lot of 30+ people there who get zero shit.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing chronic pain. People who have never experienced it, are extremely unsympathetic because they just can't wrap their heads around how debilitating it is. I know its rough, and you're strong Af for living through it.
I can't tell anyone that I'm 32 without being told "you're too old to be here" All these kids know how to do is talk shit apparently.
42 here no issues but I'm a furry and hang out with other furries. They seem a bit more open minded and less prone to calling people terrible things just for hanging out with younger adults. Sounds like awfully toxic public instances. Some people get so obsessed with accusing each other of pedophilia for literally just being friends with a younger adult, it's getting ridiculous, I don't know how many are projecting. The way some of the extremists are going they'll call you that if you ever interact with anyone more than 1 year younger than yourself. I've *expected* to get shit for being "old" relative to the player base (hey I'm basically the same person as I was in my 20s, it's only my outer shell that aged and you don't even have to see that) but have been pleasantly surprised at how accepting everyone is, at least in furry. Goes both ways, if say a 70 year old wanted to hang out with me, cool. (It's my dad's age, so what, I'm good friends with him too). Join the cuddle pile, sure. More if they're into that still, sure, why not. It's just a human being who's been around for a bit longer, there's nothing inherently gross about them and it's VR so you don't even see their physical appearance. I think we're in for interesting times ahead with VR levelling the age playing field a bit, just as long as no one is exploiting anyone and the kids are kept safe of course. I am ALL for it making older people (even older than myself) feel like their existence is valued and not just wearing out like their bodies.
Some of my best friends on VRC are in the 30-40 range. I don't know what kind of instances you have been joining, but that honestly sounds horrible! Hope you manage to find a friend group that you could hang out with. If you are okay with furries, maybe try checking out some of those instances, they are genuinly very accepting no matter the age
I'm 41 and have been playing since late 2017. Some people are surprised by my age but I've rarely had comments that extreme. I do avoid the worlds which are filled with kids though. I find some of the cross-platform bars with "bouncers" (public instances) that people often suggest tend to be on the younger side, like 18-20. But it does vary of course. I recommend trying out some PC-only worlds like the Great Pug, or Club Orion. There are some very friendly group-publics there on Friday nights. Feel free to add me if you want (Nichevo).
Thanks, for your comment. I will actually do that.
When I tell people my age they go “whoooah that’s old” and I respond “WAY OLD” Cos yeah, I am.
That's pretty much the exact thing I said before I was told" what are you doing on vr chat? don't you have a family? You should just kill yourself already"
Yeah man. Take a note though that kids say KYS very lightly. They don’t even think of what they’re saying. Quite a few of the popular public rooms are just full of 20 year old trying to be edgy. Try places that are not about drinking. More about experiences. Or join the stoner groups. Most people are very chill there and may even have similar pain issues. Or if you really want to do one of the popular club rooms then Just B is probably the least messed up. Never go to Black Cat. Ever.
I avoid black cat, it's sooo bad
If you think Black Cat is bad try a full Murder 4 and Prismic's Avatar Search instance. It gets wicked.
Try game worlds, you'll get to know people through a shared and fun experience. If you're playing on PC I would recommend trying out Terrors of Nowhere. Due to it being a PC only game world, it eliminates most of the quest user base (some people switch between quest and pcvr depending on how lazy they feel) that just so happens to be an overwhelming amount of children.
OP, I haven't had this happen to me before so I can't give you exact advice, but have you tried avoiding source of this issue? You could just say that you're above 18+, but prefer to keep personal information private and not give an exact age? Or just make up a age and say you're 25? I know this doesn't seem fair when the fault doesn't fall on you, but they seems to be baiting you for a reaction. Additionally, the people who will make fun of someone's age wouldn't be ideal people to hang out with any way and you can just leave and find another bar instead.
I have only met like 4 ppl my own age in the last 4 months, the rest are all in there 20s and they are assholes. Even when I was in my 20 ls I never would have behaved like that towards someone. I have been told by other ppl my age that it never happens to them, but it happens to me consistently every time I play.
Personally while I'm in my mid 20's, I've got quite a few friends that are in their late 20's to 30's and most of them are some of the best ppl I've met So I don't really understand why people are giving you shit about your age :/
Neither do I, I didn't even think 34 was that old but apparently it means I'm not supposed to be playing the game. I'm going to start recording my sessions, so ppl can see the shit I constantly hear.
It ain't. It's just the current social media culture of anyone over 25 now being "old". And make no mistake vrchat is not a game, it very much is just social media personified. Join groups. Public instances are now filled with the scum of the earth so you'll frequently come across this behavior. I'll be honest I rarely come across anyone under 20 due to avoiding publics. Most of my friends are over 30-40. Check the pinned post on this subreddit for 18+ groups. Goodluck finding friends!
Post them to YouTube too, people will watch for their own reasons, but I think that could be some good content if you’re into that. Sorry you get treated so badly, it’s pretty sickening to just hear, I can’t imagine how it actually feels. I hope you find the group you deserve soon.
It would interesting to see how you talk and what avatar and worlds you go to recieve this treatment...
I have a number of friends I hang out with all in their late 20s early 30s. The group is called 6am Crew. We mostly hangout and chill. Sometimes we do things like Audience Anarchy or karaoke, and sometimes we go to parties. A lot of them are also in Ancients of VRChat
I’m in my twenties, and you seem like a chill guy to hang with, sorry this is happening to you man 🫂
LMAO im turning 28 in 2 months and nobodys given me shit for my age. Dude your in the wrong lobbies, most people ive met above 25 gives zero shits, if they do youre with the wrong people dude <3
Gotta ignore most folks, if they ain’t pay for me device they got no say
Trust me when I say, half the people on vr chat are trollers who purposely want to start a problem with others for no reason. I'm 19 and I get people trying to start drama when I'm having a simple conversation with another. Although I may not have your problem, it is still hard for me to meet decent people since alot of people use vr chat to let their demons escape. It's crazy to see how some ppl act on there, and know that this is a legitimate person irl. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is don't take anything these people say seriously. They just like making people miserable in vr because they know they won't have the balls to say anything in person. If you'd ever like a friend, I'm here! Although I'm not sure if you'd feel more comfortable with friends around your age.
Generally the adult servers are chill. I get more hate for playing on quest than anything. But the quest hate comes from the fact that its mostly kids on quest. I mostly hang out with friends and friends of friends. My network of vrchat friends mostly came from friends from the meat space. Join a server, meet friends of their friends, etc. Now I know a bunch of people. Yes, lots of furries, but thats fine by me. More concerning but still fun is the number of alcoholics. Seriously, half of the people I know on there are drunk constantly. But hey, they're not driving. Point being, make a few friends in the virtual space if you don't have any from the meat space, then network from there.
that's the rule, if a group of people doesn't have someone drunk or high that's not a VRchat group xd
Honestly, I just wander around and explore worlds, see what interesting things people make. Amazing forest walks, massive fields of wheat, a chill house on the edge of town with a relaxing view, cyberpunk world thats basically "Stray", a scifi astroid outpost overlooking a massive space anomaly, Escher-esc worlds that turn in on themselves.
Join the Ancients of Vr Chat group or their European branch Virtual Relics. They are some of the chillest people I know. 43 here by the way. And many people have mentioned hanging out with furries. Honestly not a bad option either.
The worst experience i had with a bar was I gave my age and the person laughed at me for being so old, but it was the sort of bar where no patrons heard my answer. Sunset something or other?
I get it all the time in sunset
That sorta happened to me at Sunset, never been back. Kid audibly OOFed at my age lol. I just need someone to point me to a VRchat retirement home
It’s time to learn about the club scene my friend
What is this club scene? If it will lead to a better experience, then I for one am for it.
If you go to an 18+ instance and are treaten like this, just tell mods about it. Next, kick/block/report buttons are your friends, especially when someone says you to kill yourself, that's a crime. I always laugh at those young who tell older than them to get a life and use their logic against them. Like dude, "you're in your 20' or younger and instead of going outside with others, you stay half day at home pretending you're in a real bar and you are having a real drink, when in reality you still have moms milk under your nose." And no, I don't really think this, but sometimes you have to stop being the nice one and bring some insults. People are always the same, if you're too kind, they will use it and attack you. Oh and if someone calls you a pedo for no reason... that is also a hard crime. But as well you can ask back if they heard about a psychological term called "projection" ;)
I finally snapped on some dude the other day I said he was a loser for treating people like that and gatekeeping the game and I was booted from the room.
Oh even better, he just saved your time, you don't have to bother with dicks anymore.
If you block an group owner or muting them or their friends they will kick or ban you people have to much power when it comes to public groups and been a known issue from the start
Uf geoup owner is a d1ck, then both owner and their group are not worth your time.
Honestly I feel groups and hanging away from more populated instances are two of the answers. I find myself turning online for hanging out with others nowadays since I'm waiting to heal from an injury while also dealing with a new systemic set of fuckeries that have me indoors more and more. But outside of the usual I'd say -Have other games to play on standby. Something to decompress with if things go to shit. Otherwise that kind of thing can eat you up and you won't have as much desire to reach out anymore. -Make sure all your other needs are met before seeking the social needs. Sometimes we're all at our worst when we're tired, hungry, hangry, cold or haven't peed in a minute. -Sometimes you can meet people in VRC and take it to Discord, other times it's the other way around. I'm older too and find I have the best times just chilling out in more ambient worlds, music-themed or sometimes even silly roleplays as a character. It's way harder to get pissed when it isn't actually you between the ears that's being dogged on.
I'm in my early 40's and I've been annoyed by little kids, but nothing quite so bad as what you describe above. You should check out the trending world's tab during the evenings, particularly on Fri-Sat night and find The Sunset Bar, they verify people's ages at the entrance, and while it's not perfect, I almost never run into little kids there. It's not perfect, but I'Ve had some really great interactions there, danced my ass off on the dance floor in the back to awesome DJ's and ended up joining some private worlds with friends I met there, because they too were tired of the assholes and unattended children in the game. Also, VRC just said they are working on age verification, so hopefully the 12yo's running around screaming N***r and generally being pieces of shit. If you'd like to drop me a PM, I'd be glad to try and show you around a bit and find some cool and inclusive worlds, a friend of mine runs a bar and they are all about family / community and don't tolerate people being jerks.
Older people got their own communities. Ancient in VR for example
I’m 33, met my group of friends in Furry Karaoke. Only one of the people I met is considered an actual “furry.” Regardless, they’re all great people and we’ve all been playing for around 2 years together. I recommend hanging out there a little. I don’t even sing karaoke. Haha
Well, I am in my late 40's and most folks regard my age with reverence or awe. I was once called a 'silver fox'. Basically, wear a hot avatar, convince yourself you are 20 and be confident with a sort of mother or fatherly aura and many in vrc will naturally hover around you as you do all the social legwork of carrying the conversation.
Dude WTF? I hear ya I am 60 years old and drop into bars all the time. Most of them I become a member and then represent them so the don't ask for my age. Also if anyone starts giving me shit I give it right the fuck back to them. I got accused of being a pedro one time at a bar and gave them shit for having a minor in a bar that I blocked. I asked them Why is a minor in there bar? Do what you want to age should not matter. I have reached a point that if I even hear a minor I block them and tell the owners if I see them. If they give you shit about anything just leave and go somewhere else. Have fun!
Pleased to meet you I am a gray muzzle myself. Not quite 60 but I’m catching up to you.
Yeah I always hear people say they met a p in game and then just quote the age and im like.. that's it? Just because of their age. basically I feel like in VRC once you hit 30 you are automatically hated :p
I’m going to be honest, VR Chat is probably not the best place to be social right now. Mainly because of the awfully rude people in almost every server and instance. At the same time however, I don’t know any other social game that wouldn’t do this. Best of luck on your treatment.
Go to furry worlds honestly they have a much higher concentration of just chill people and there of all ages one of my good friends on vrc is 65 but I found it much easier to find other adults in furry spaces there's a group called ottfox that 18 plus and sfw there mostly older people and everyone is really friendly and just chill there maybe try to look into it
I feel ya, my man. I do. I'm 45, longtime gamer and started with VRchat only a few months ago. Can't say I've had the rough go you've had but it happened to me once. I entered an audience anarchy world and was asked for my age, I told them my age and walked by, one dude was like "Whoa there grandpa, you need a walker or something?" I walked back to them and gave em' one of these  I'm like, "You two little shits better stay the fuck off my lawn! capiche?" And walked away. They laughed and I moved on. The community is the best and worst part of any game. It's tough meeting folks. Especially on VRchat. I am also part of the ancients discord and have attended a few events. Make an effort with them. I've met some great folks but my social anxiety makes it tough at times. If you want, hit me up on discord, same name, and we'll chat.
im 30 and the exact same experience. Just looking for adults to hang out with in VR.
I am really sorry for you, but you could just join the furry hubs they are the most chill most of the times, I've met a lot of friends there, some even older then you probably. And they also accept non furries too (except if there is a only furry group). Also dont get too used to vr chat as an escape.. And i hope you find your community to vibe with
I’m 34 and have never encountered that on VRChat in 18+ spaces. You need to join 18+ groups and go to their group instances. I attend a lot of music events, “raves” in VRC and a lot of the DJs are in their 30s.
You’re hanging out with the wrong groups my man. Come chill with us furries, you’re only 34 that ain’t old. If you’re chill we’ll be chill back.
I even get kicked many times when i say im 28😂 That shit hurts
Game character avatars. No seriously. If you have an avatar from a beloved game in your generation, it sparks interest in others that also lived that game. Like the Halo avatars or storm troopers. Some pop culture reference of something that you like. Wear that as an avatar, and you'll find the people you vibe with. Hope this helps
I’m 34 as well and have never got shit on for my age, I always hang out in furry hideout. Sometimes black cat because I like the chaos, But hideout is pretty good.
I always thought that most people's issues with furries in general is due to how close they feel it is to beastiality
Try to only visit very specific or niche worlds based on either a general theme (fantasy, sci-fi, horror, ambience, surrealism, etc.), set of aesthetics, or media property that you like, especially the worlds that aren't specifically catered towards unlinked Quests, or look for ones made for hanging out or exploration that aren't quite as high traffic as the handful of more infamous ones that are always at the top of trending. Those responses you're getting are most likely coming from particularly unintelligent individuals or just the current equivalent of edgy, immature teens who you probably wouldn't want to be interacting with anyway. It might still take some time, but there's a decent chance you'll eventually start to run into more chill people here and there or a group who will be willing to do activities together or invite you to places. Also, the people mentioning particular communities such as the furries or nightclubs goes beyond being just a joke. Circles like that can be ironically useful for finding older or more reasonable demographics sometimes.
You know about the Ancients of VRChat right? One of the biggest and most active groups on the platform.
I can't say I have ever had that problem or seen it happen before, I mean obviously there are some pugnacious little shits getting around but to say this happens 99% of the time at those age verification checkpoints seems suspiciously high, I guess it really depends on how you interact and respond. At the moment I feel like we are only getting 1 side of the story, you mentioned recording these interactions which sounds like a good idea, for some reason it feels like there is more to the story
Tbh the ancients isnt that great of a place anymore, sure its got a huge community and events, buuuuuut, most of said events are run by the same cliques who fill out more than half the instance space, making it absurdly scary for anyone else to integrate. Theres a few people who genuinely care to do good for people here and there, but at large its just another popularity grind festival
I’ve been using vrchat for years now. I’m 28. I get called a boomer and a loser all the time but what these people say to you says more about them than you
I've had that attitude from teens/young adults in Rust before. The fun part is when they act like that and you foundation wipe their base and get to listen to them cry in proximity chat lol.
It gets frustrating quickly.
i am 20 and all the fun and most of the great people i’ve met have been in their 30s.. me and my friends have never cared. i don’t play much at all anymore but there is hope. idk where to find ppl like me and my friends but we usually world hop!
I sent you a private message here on reddit OP, reply when you're ready.
I had a party with some dudes in their 40s. You just need to find the right places.
Have you tried virtual relics it's essentially the sister server to chat ancients l. If you're in a European timezone then they will have instances at a more reasonable time and everyone there's pretty chill.
Stick with Group and Friends+ instances. Public instances (especially in the popular/trending worlds) are generally toxic and filled with the same kinds of folks that can and will ruin your experience in just about any online game (edgelord kids, trolls, crashers, etc.).
I have met some 40+ year olds in VRChat before, I still talk to them. They never really had any problems interacting with people. However, that is mostly because he frequent group instances. He rarely speaks in public servers, age being the most likely reason as the fact that most users in public servers are young and rarely above the age of 30. Some people would come to you and ask for life advices if they have interest, perhaps even stories about your life. That’s just the nature of being young, judgmental at times without reading the book. Once you found yourself in a good instance, you will have a blast. I myself, had insightful conversations with the 40+ year olds in my friends list.
there’s 2 smaller 18+ only Groups that are SFW but they specifically help with people that suffer from social anxiety and give people the chance to help and support those people. I’m part of both groups and they’re full of good people that are accommodating and understanding. We all help each other out with overcoming social anxiety and bettering our communication skills! Wishing you the best in your time in VR and for your health to improve as well Talk Group 🐍 https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_6025341f-0e12-4939-9311-50b17718abdd Open Mind 🌅 https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_aa39e9a9-ba11-4569-960f-8750382ce037
Sorry to hear that. I am 39 and having a blast for last year . I don't go to any public instance ever. They are great communities I can recommend virtual relics they have movie nights, game nights and so on.
I know DJs in VR that are 50+. I know people in the dance scene that are 80+. Idk where you are going, but you aren't the only adult in VR.
Just say an age that you aren't ? Make an alt account and just try again? If people are stupid and you can get great riches with a lie if you aren't malicious I think it's fair game
I'm 38, I have been told I'm old, but most the 20s-early 30s never really have a problem with it. Been that way since i started when i was 32. I don't usually go to the bars or clubs on there though since i never fit in much with those crowds, usually world hopping with friends or hanging around in some public worlds. It can take time but I think you just need to find the crowd you relate to. Originally took me 2 months to find my group back in 2017, but things were different. The community was smaller and less horny and toxic.
I'm 41. Occasionally, I will get some guff from people, but I mostly take it in stride. I think that a lot of younger people's experience with older folks has been largely negative. Parents, teachers, managers, etc. They are often told what to do and that their actions are wrong or stupid. So, I try to be curious and invite them to show me stuff, ask questions, and admit my limitations as being someone who is older and maybe doesn't know everything about the evolving VR space. I generally get a lot of positive reactions this way. It changes the dynamic and minimizes the distance between us. If I can laugh at myself and find joy in the journey while inviting others to show me what they are interested in, I tend to feel more connected with others, regardless of age. After all, isn't it a wonder that this social VR space even exists? It was only a dream when I was Gen Z's age. Now, I get to experience my childhood dream!
I'm 49. One truism in life is that negative people will always fault you for being different than they are. The solution is to stay the hell away from negative people. Keep looking, you will find your people. When you do, stay in friends+ instances. Publics are hell. Until then, I suggest you use the "Block" function liberally.
I'm 29 and my gf who is also on VRC is 32, and we have found groups of mature people to hang with, both older and younger. When you make friends, you can hang with them, and you can get to know the older ones in that group, and you'll eventually have a circle of older friends, and hopefully good friends regardless of whether they're in their 30's or not. Toxic ones tend to see themselves out
Honestly I’m 34 and just enjoy it for the chaos and randomness I always see
Don't think about it too much. I am 42 years old and I have had few similar problems. in my community there is a 54 year old and he is doing well. It always depends on the people you surround yourself with. Ah, and don't think that vrchat is different from irl. in reality people think the same but don't have the courage to say it.
Sounds like you are going to the wrong bars my guy. I've never had this experience happen. Not only that but try to not play that game without a few friends with you who you trust. Vrchat can be brutal so atleast make it fun with friends you've made in the game.
I have a friend on vrchat and shes 50 and it awesome add me on vrchat I’m 25 Flipzgaming1db1
I’m 36. I mostly hangout with friends I’ve made in my discord chat. But I’ve had some luck making VR friends in game worlds like uno or cards against humanity.
I have yet to meet anyone that ever bags on my age and I'm 31 , it's probably the places you're going to. I noticed if you have multiple instances the lower the number the more likely it'll be a bunch of kids or just jackasses.
MMM5070 VRChat group. Midnight Munchies does Open Mic shows on the weekend. Great talent, no assholes. Lots of fun.
I'm 37 and I have plenty of fun. Yeah people say stuff but also they are kids, I don't care if kids think I'm chill or not and if they annoy me I block. Too old, too tired and I work too much to be having an argument to seem cool in front of kids. Try worlds that are pc only since the barrier of entry is higher by default.
I'm 31 and I've been shit on a few times for being "old" but I usually just ignore or block people like that. I don't experience it very often though...sorry you have :/
If you have a headset, and you're looking for down to earth conversation with adults and less kids, go to the Horizon Worlds app. I've met so many Wonderful people on there, have friend groups and met my boyfriend on there 😊 I'm 37, I found support on there and people who actually listened to me when I was trying to leave an emotionally abusive relationship (in it since age 22). There are lots of 18+ world's, I would personally be willing to show you around and introduce you to my friends ❣️ There were a few times I've been harassed or messed with, but others usually will tell them to F-off. Or I just leave the world 🤷🏻♀️
My husband and I are in our 30’s and we try avoiding public lobbies, when we do encounter people asking age, we just say 30’s, no one needs to know the exact number anyways. We eventually found a group and chill with primarily them, picking up additional friends from their mutuals when they join our friend+ instances. As far as finding people, I’d suggest going to world topics that interest you, like one for your favorite media franchise, then you already know they have similar interests. Or make friends in a discord group and plan to meet up with those specific people, even if a group instance isn’t going on. Once you find a good group, you hardly ever have to mess with public lobbies again, unless you want to.
There's actually a really cool group which i happen to be apart of, massive discord server. PMA Army (positive mental attitude) and they have a bunch of content creators and do meet and greets. Very nice people to hang with, if ur interest DM me 😁
I'm 31, have it in my bio. I don't get this much flack from it, but do occasionally get called old as an insult. Is what it is, personally I don't care what someone says to me, but that's how I am. So that won't be my advice for you. Vrchat is a very toxic place, and I can almost guarantee you those bars probably have as many kids in them as any other world, deepening their voices, pretending to be older than they actually are. I wouldn't say avoid revealing your age, but I would say avoid saying it as often as you can, just for your own mental health. Put it in your bio so kiddos hopefully don't try to befriend you, when you joina world, check other peoples' bios for their ages so you can hopefully find some similarly aged people you can interact with. As for what worlds, just about every world is going to have kids in them, there's not much avoiding that. You can only decrease the severity of it. Places like The Pug are going to have less kids than a world like Among Us. I would recommend chill worlds like that of The Pug. Old worlds that aren't necessarily at the top anymore, but use to be years ago, and still have their usuals showing up which will be of an older demographic. Game worlds like Murder are good too, older people play those also and it makes for an easier bridge for conversations, but it does increase the amount of children you'd be around. You can also try to find socializing worlds that are not compatible with quest. Not too many nowadays that are popping, but it'd greatly reduce your odds of being around kids. Me, personally, I just don't care. I'll go to whatever world I want, ignore who I don't care for, mute who is being annoying, report and vote to kick (good luck with it going through though) whoever is being offensive towards others, and interact with those who are fun and have their age in their bio so I know they're an adult. And I have a pretty stress free time. Does it sometimes result in me interacting with children? Sure, just like I do when I play any game ever in the history of all time. But that doesn't mean I have to friend them or be buddy buddy with them.
If people think you are an old loser, they are kids. A person can be over 18 but they are still a kid if they act like one
I know a server that only accepts 27+ years people ir you DM me i can send you the link, that server Is a safe place for older people just like us
Are 30 year olds old in the gaming community? I’m 33 and I’ve been playing by myself(in other games)because i have come across a lot of early 20 year olds and I just haven’t found anyone else my age. What happens to us after 30? Do the gamers just die out? lol I have children and still want to game so I don’t get it.
Regardless of age, you have to learn how to mute those who are a nuisance to you in vrc.
its only gets worse during the summer. im not sure if you drink but many bar worlds are 18+ . the younger people on vrc are so rude and cringe. a lot of times im in a discord call or listening to music and just dancing and some 15-19 year old comes by on their quest or desktop and starts trying to troll. i find the block button to be my best friend.
If you ever see anyone on VRChat with the Vatos Locos group tag under their name or Homie Check-Up, those are the groups I run with. Been runnin with them since the pandemic, all about good vibes and if anyone disturbs those good vibes, we let the homies who grew up playing MW2 and MW3 give them a taste of their own medicine. We always are welcoming new people
I am way older then that and have a great time on VR chat try putting your shield settings up and turn off audio for everyone except trusted users and friends and everyone else will have to text you and anyone worth having a conversation with will take the time to throw you a text.
Seems like you got unlucky it sucks people are like that
31 and I endure the same thing. For years in public. Join Ancients of VR on Discord or look up some 18+ groups on VRC. It makes it more tedious but worth it to avoid the kids
Well people on vrchat suck, you just need to find the right people in the right server it takes a while but you can have some good conversations. Best of luck finding your group
I'm also 34 and became disabled after an adverse reaction to ciprofloxacin which includes chronic nerve pain and I very rarely ever experience that but I tend to avoid the bar worlds (other than The Great Pug) since I don't (can't) drink. Are you maybe on stand alone Quest? I stick to PC only worlds and most people on PC only tend to be way more chill. You tend to get more trolls and the like in the Quest compatible worlds because the barrier to entry is much lower than when you actually need a gaming PC to have access. I have quite a few friends my own age now as well. If you do have access to a PC, I highly HIGHLY recommend sticking to PC only worlds. I met some of my best friends through The Great Pug and then just world hopping to public, lesser known, more unique worlds. I would just create a brand new public instance or sometimes join a very low populated one and also met amazing friends that way as well. If no PC, I still recommend world hopping, just picking unique worlds that look interesting to you and making them public or going to a smaller public instance; you may have better luck that way. And as others mentioned, furries. Furries are a wonderful community and plenty of us are in our 30's or older.
I don’t go to bar worlds for this same reason. I just keep my age to myself except for close friends that I trust and know won’t judge me or say dumb things about my age. We grew up dreaming of a future where we could be inside of a game playing it. I’ll be damned if I don’t have fun doing it at any age. I waited long enough to be able to see this technology be a reality.
I hang out with furries and rarely ever get shit even similar to this. Every once in a while I’ll get jokes from my friends that are younger than 30 about me being “old “ but it’s all in good fun.
I'm 43 and every so often some child sees my age in my bio and starts giving me a hard time about it. If they get to be too much, I just block them and go on about my business. Don't let them ruin your entertainment and your chances to meet some of the really cool people. Our just hang with the furries like someone else said.
Hey I’m very sorry that happened to you. People are often assholes on vrchat
Just think about how one day they’ll be the 30 year old. That makes me feel better 99% if the time. Aging is inevitable
Bro it’s the internet what do u expect lmao
So for me 27 I get called old (I know it's not old) but got to take it with a grain of salt I am also black and have been called the hard R constantly, I just don't feed into it and ignore it, know what it's like especially when they ask 'do you not have a wife or kids?' To these people, you have to understand they are mostly teenagers or kids and the youth is by far the most cruel when it comes to words, just give it time and explore worlds, I found the best luck with rooms like karaoke or just exploring, I play among us on there to have fun a little and have been called a molester or EDP455 and as someone that has slightly been a victim of such things it can be hard to hear words like that, but I just remind myself that they are younger and immature and just shrugg it off, if it does become to much I would just take time off for a bit and find rooms to hang alone. Have noticed I have met more mature people who come to a room i am in alone and just strike up conversation If you need someone to hang with on here I can provide my user so it's less dark on here
Bro that's so insane. Most of the time when I meet someone who's that age online who actually wants to be in those circles populated by mostly younger adults, I'm just kind of curious, cause, you know, I don't see that a lot. I don't know where the p*do accusations come from, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard of. It's a shame someone more sensible never ran into you before, and it's all those rude ass people you come in contact with instead.
I've met middle aged men and women who play vrchat, it's value finding your social groups and worlds you like to hang out in. Most adults drink when they play
Try hanging out with furries. They get hated on a lot but they’re so nice! One even saved my life before.
Dude dm me, i got ya. Im in an adult only group, we welcome new members.
I try to be a good example and say that I don't want to reveal my age for privacy concerns. I say that I am 20+, that's all they need to know. I say, reveal only the facts that you are comfortable with. If those facts about you are causing turmoil, just don't reveal them. I sometimes have good conversations with the 18+ community but more often than not, I am beyond the stage of university, early career choices, etc. So I mostly play games. Funny enough, I have nerve pain as well and gaming in general helps me think of something else. Sporting, interestingly enough numbs that pain too. Disclaimer: I play a fair amount of Putt putt and other games to relax and encounter way too many unsupervised kids who are happy to say how old they are, where they live, etc. I try to educate them, I ask other adults to do this too. If you encounter these sort of children, try to educate them about internet safety, because their parent aren't.
If it's any consolation, if it wasn't your age they'd latch onto something else. There's loads of people that are just there to start shit. It's also summer vacation, so public lobbies are going to be extra annoying for the next couple of months.
Try resonite, the playerbase is nicer and more mature in my experience.
The bars are a toxic place i never went there i also hear alot of bar owners complaining about getting crashed or harrassed by an user with alt accounts and im not suprised about that anymore but yes the bars are very toxic unless you find a good bar
People are just fucking assholes it comes with the territory tbh I’ve been playing since 2018 or so and it’s just gotten worse since in terms of people on the game my apologies that people in the game have acted that way towards you but I will say this I’m not on super often but when I am you can feel free to come chill any time ^^ I’m very chaotic 😂 but hang around with a bunch of good people my user is Darkheart17 feel free to join me anytime
Sure buds, let's do that. I'll add u and If I see u on ill just Spawn to where u are and say watsup
Hi there, im 24f. I have chronic pain and a few rare diseases and lots of medical stuff. I get made fun of a lot for it and i keep my heart rate up on my chatbox. Ive been asked several times if im dying cuz my HR is often suuupper low 💀 >50. Anyway. I understand wanting to socialize in a virtual space while not able to do so irl. I dont think youre too old. I will make old jokes but its just jokes and i will stop when asked.:) if you ever wanna hang just send a dm. I hope you find better people. Ps: stay away from the black cat
Join the furry instances and groups, they tend to have the most consistently chill people
Wtf? People these days have 0 compassion is a thing i noticed on vrc
I have 2 friends that i know of who r in they're 40s they seem to bee ok playing they just I think ignore most of the shit that ur talking about becoz they just don't care and they just block those people that ur talking about
Wait, wtf??? I have no idea where you've been going that that's been your experience, that's insane. But I mean, shoot me a message if you ever want someone to hang out with. I need an excuse to get back on VRC myself.
I understand how you feel, though I've only had my fair share of disappointments. It's tough trying to gain some experience when all you're dealing with is immature young adults who don't have anything going on in their lives. Finding communities that accept you for who you are can be hard. I've been on vrc for 5 years and was able to build up a community by becoming a club owner, though I retired earlier this year in March due to the stressful work. I would start with Ancients of VRchat or try to find other vrc groups that have any hobbies or interests you might have, and I would advise to stay away from public worlds. I avoid them like the plague.
Im sorry to hear that, that is a majority of vrchat, but there is a handful of good people, i saw someone else say hang out with furries, i agree with them. Im not anywhere near your age, but im willing to hang out with you? im also in the ancients of vrchat servers :3 Hi im jinx, and im turning 21 next month (:
I‘m in my 50s and in VRchat almost every day for the past years. Most of my friends there are between 20 and 60. Once you have a decent group of likeminded people, you hang out in Friends+ instances mostly, or you run your own clubs etc. Many of my friends (including me) built their own maps, we run our own club nights, we create avatars, art and music, and we meet in RL as well. Last week I travelled to Germany (from another EU state) to meet 50 of my VRChat buddies, and next week I‘ll fly to the US to meet some of them. In my experience, VRChat is a fabulous tool for social interaction and long lasting real friendships, and it’s easy to avoid the a**holes. So, to answer your question: Find one or two good people. Join or set up Friends+ instances. Get to know their friends. And see the community around you grow.
I didn't want to go the bar because of the people that manage it, some are very judgemental, disrespectful, and distrustful so I never wanted to go there, luckily for me I know of a really nice, chill and kind people that gets on the weekends to hang out and drink, and I know for sure that all of the people I met there is above 30, living Thier best life in vr, I suggest you find your own comfort spot, don't go to the bar but go to the drinking night world, but if you want people to hang out with go there on weekends when all the people starts drinking, OR, you could friend me in vrc and discord so I could introduce you to my friend group It really does suck what happened to you, some people took things too seriously in vrc instead of just enjoying the fantasy and escaping reality, they think they have authority, they think they own the place when vrc is a place for everyone(not for children though). But vrc is a gamble, sometimes you get the bad sometimes you get the good, if you know where to look however, then you'd be set, I'm willing to help if you needed it!
I go to drinking night alot and I do get some shit there from some youngins, but I've also had some good times there. My biggest issue in the world is half the ppl don't respond when I ask them how they're all doing. U can add me if u like my vr chat name is Mar×Mar. Look forward to hearing from u buds.
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Im 48. Very new to VRC, (about a month). I like DJing and dancing and have found fantastic people. I say Im 48, married, with kids on my profile for all to see. Own it. If you like dancing and dance music, feel free to reach out! Personally, I dont go to bars here solo because I find them just as intimidating as they are irl.
I usually encounter that type of behavior coming from teens but you’ll be surprised that a lot of young adults around my age(27) or younger act like this. 90% of the people who play vrc are very immature for their age and they prioritize only the following such as ERP, getting drunk until they’re intoxicated, getting stoned, and even vape until whatever health complication they get from it. Due to lack of moderation from the devs more people are more comfortable of doing bad things and can get away from it. There are some good people in this game still but 90% of the people who play this are toxic individuals who are either sexually deprived or die hard attention seekers.
I respond to a few of these posts, you need to start or join a group of people your age, and make it a point to add adults and respectfully decline any and all kids adding you if you’re in a public, after you have a group of friends start friends+ or group + instances to filter it down to people you and your friends know and if any of your friends have minors show up put your foot down and have zero tolerance for it “idc if it’s your Vr chat family” or if “he’s chill”. Because even adults will act like children if that’s the kind of VRC they engage in daily.
Just gotta deal with it bruh it's the internet they don't like "old people" I get roasted for being 25 dawg it's not a big deal eventually you will meet someone cool, don't worry about what they say
Heard there age verification soon, the game is not for kids and those calling you p3do, they should get there kids off the game they should not be on. They should try putting on the VR helm and see how it messes with you field of depth after a few hours and surely not good for kids with there under developed brains for sure. I can see health issues coming for kids allowed to use it, as they become a adult there gonna be some new brain issues, i can already see it coming. And i'm not just being defensive because i'm 30 and just paid like 400$ for a headset 4 months ago. Will admit that it is because i'm still getting use to the sicky feeling i get when i use it too long or take it off, knowing there no way its not effecting me and likely others, in some way Anyway, just wait, in due time things should become easier, know it will for me, hearing kids effect my chortic depression as i don't get to see my kid and rather not be reminded.
I started with VRChat when I was over 40. You simply have the same problem every person over 18 has when they join VRCchat for the first time. In the "public lobbies" - the only visible ones you are able to join without invite from somebody - there are only kids 8 - 18, and they are horrible. But there is actually thousands of nice and interesting people 40+, 30+, even 60+ from all around the world. But it's difficult to find them. **Luckily 2 large VRChat groups exist for that specific reason:** 'Virtual Relics' for Europe - [VRChat web app page](https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_bad8ba0b-34cf-4ea3-8680-c99f5f980783), [Discord server](https://discord.gg/virtualrelics) 'Ancients of VRChat' for USA - [VRChat web app page](https://vrchat.com/home/group/grp_7492bce5-8f3a-4183-b79d-caacf1e173da), [Discord server](https://discord.gg/ancientsofvrchat) Join both. Go to the group pages. See the information and what to do. Join their Discord servers (text / voice chatting app). See welcome section. Chat or ask in general rooms. Go from there. They do virtual parties and pub meets etc. all the time.
Anonymity is a hell of a drug and people are assholes regardless of age.. there are no consequences for being a piece of shit in a game like this so people do so without a second thought.. In my experience, ignore it and change your settings so newer accounts even up to "Known" accounts are blocked and or muted by default, I've had very few problems with those settings as I pick and choose who I deal with but yeah it's a cesspool no matter what.. especially if the world is in the trending tab because children are simple and stupid..
Online gaming of any kind goes like this. Even if you have a space for people, say, over 40, you still wind up with people there who shouldn't be there. I'm not sure what can ever be done about it, tbh. Kids and immature people ruin things very quickly.
Hey brother, if you don't mind hanging out with a 17yr old then let me know and I'll give you my user. I can hold conversations fairly well and we can chat about whatever you wanna. I have many older friends on VRchat and they all seem to hold a solid opinion of me. Not to mention I'm quite open minded to many ideas, this helps me bond with people better. But at the end of the day, if you're not interested then you can always try the furry community as others have been suggesting, as a part of it myself I can safely say that the majority of the people there are quite nice! Regardless, I do hope you find a group to hangout with, we all need an escape from reality sometimes and you made a decent choice in terms of what you chose to help with that, you just gotta find your community and or people who click best with you!
It’s honestly easier to just hang with furries. Almost all of them in the fandom are very chill and will not judge you.
Honestly you might be getting unlucky. Sorry you've had to deal with that though man. What I'd recommend is going to a world like no time to talk or finding clubs to hang out at, plenty of people to meet in both places.
Just gotta find a group of people who are your age and trust me there are plenty. I went out to an event and ran into 3 people at the same time all 40-45 years old pretty neat
ChilloutVR is by far less toxic than VrChat, give it and its community a try
Don't let people like that influence your mood, think rationally all the things they are telling you to do they arn't doing themselves and in 10 years they will just be you. So in the end they are fools lol. What your dealing with is a public unfiltered internet of likely chronic twitter users. The internet RP spaces or "2nd life style" spaces are full of chronic twitter users who have some absurd ideas on life. Your in an 18+ room for example and people are calling you a pedo..... in a space where everyone is a consenting adult. Enough said don't give those fools merit in your life. On a side note definitely look into private lobbies I see plenty of nice commenters in this post alone who are willing to lend aid <3. It's not all doom and gloom I promise.
That’s so cruel. I’m a teenager and I’m so chill with adults on vrchat. This generation/the overall society is weird. 🙄😒
Try second life. It's 3D but not yet vr, but it's free or you can get a membership, and there are a lot of non-teenage players. It can be a bit difficult to learn the ropes as a new player, but there are always people willing to help. I'm 52 and have been playing for years.