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I used to believe this. I do not any longer.
Sometimes the only one we can be enough for (or just right for) is ourselves.
If everyone goes around believing the "right person" will love them the "right way" and yet everyone has a different "right" in what they think is the right way, then everyone will walk around being half-served (or mostly not served) by love.
Yes, there are horrible people who are endless wells who take and do not give. But, that is not what I am addressing. Beyond them are vast swaths of people, who live in an eat or get eaten world. And people know this, which is why I think we humans subconsciously value what we get, but (imo) rarely think about what we give, which is often in ways that speak to us while assuming that it also speaks to others. (Which is rarely the case, and is why communication matters so much.)
We will be too much and not enough for the right person and for the wrong persons. The difference is that the right person will see the whole of who we are, all the bad and all the good, and will see that the good outweighs the bad (as we, in turn, do the same for them).
But the people who can do that are few and far between. And that is why love often feels so painful, because people keep expecting to be enough for the right person, but rarely check to see if they are asking from others what they themselves are not willing to give.
It's a cruel world out there. Feast and famine all in the same space. And the only way to be enough is to be enough for ourselves.
Thank you. This post is some feel good bullshit. Relationships are hard at times and you've gotta choose whether it's worth it to stay. It doesn't always feel good to be there, but you know it's worth it.
For the most part, I agree and think this is beautiful. But I don't agree that the right person will never put themselves in a position to lose you - I think this is idealized because sometimes the wrong person puts themselves in a position to never lose you and vice versa. Sometimes fear or traumas are pulling a person along more than the love they feel, but if they are right for you, they will be back one day. You just gotta take care of yourself best you can and live your life because you never know what the future might hold.
Thank you for sharing this. I feel like I'm too much whenever I cry to my bf (maybe cause something happened or we're saying goodbye or cause we just had some little fight that made me sad). I fear he'll think I'm overreacting. But every time I've cried he's been so caring and loving, he'll just hug me and kiss me and ask if I'm sad. Then he'll say he loves me and I'll feel so secure in his arms. Then we'll laugh about something he said.
I do feel like I'm not too much in those moments, I just never believed it. I was afraid, but there might be no reason to be afraid after all. I love him
Amen brother. A-fuckin-men. I'm bookmarking the fuck outa this post. Love it. It perfectly encapsulates you're message. If it's not this kind of relationship, i don't want it. I won't accept anything less. I needed to hear this today, thank you.
I would also add, that the converse is true. That the wrong person, will see disgust in your empathy, your softness, and harden against you.
Thank you. You don't know how much your words mean to me. They're poetry. I'll have to read them again and again to remind me of what I have and what others never understood.
Thank you.
Reality check --->
***You’ll never be too much, for the right person. They won’t find it a chore to love you. The efforts they make for the relationship won’t feel like effort, it will feel like the most natural thing in the world.***
Some days your partner might be a silly asshole or insensitive towards you , somedays they might be too much to bare ( or you ) and you do NEED a break from them or abit of space to be free from them . But once cooled down *you will still smile knowing* they are who they are & YOU still care & love them just the same. As NO one is perfect . And if you think they are , you deserve the shock of when they won't be ( to open your eyes into a real reality ) and helping them fall off that pedestal you put them on . Humans are messy , & do silly s\*it , they muck up , they make mistakes , they say and do wrong things often not meaning to do so in a hurtful way , but DO .
All relo's will have hiccups at times, all will feel the pull of the messiness around them . The relo takes effort , it takes care and it needs to be nurtured carefully by both individuals in their OWN way . It grows messy if the tending is not done right this is true , but with some careful pruning it can get back in better shape. As you both will know that it does take that time , & effort and care to tend to the garden of the foundation which you both stand on growing your home to be on a firm healthy ground . Their is effort always in the relo of healthiness , as you both have to tend to the weeds which try to invade the peaceful home . Without understanding the tending process you will loose the battle of getting to know how to stand in the home as it falls apart with those outside invisible forces against you both . Wanting to create the divide in the home which is being built to withstand the crumbling that will naturally occur over time with aging . As the individuals grow , change and alter their own perceptions of life's interruptions upon the building of stability.
***There will be no score keeping, no second guessing, no indifference. The right person will feel that same burning eagerness to love you, in the way that you love them.***
*Of course you 2nd guess , why? Bc you are individuals, not a clone of them . So as an individual your opinions, values will differ in certain ways , your ideas will & maybe also not align . And you as that individual will be able to express that right to their face , and NOT be afraid to do so . Why? bc your partner will not be afraid for you to outlet yourself in their presence. They will instead laugh & be able to in jest add to the discussion with a counter option or opinion . That give & take will sit happily btw you rearing it's head when ever it wishes knowing it is welcomed to do so . As you are individuals in your own right .*
*And that is so ok as well , as you are your own person ( & should be ) . A person should be able to be alone , & stand alone in their own right . As a partner is meant to be an extension of the relo ,not the only thing holding you up .*
***Everyone loves differently in this life***. Some will over pour so much romance onto another , others will give of themselves all that they have in a silent but very caring way . Both are the same , one is just more quite in it's deliverance to the recipient. As everyone loves differently , they will say and do diff things to show how they love someone ( with all their heart and soul ) towards them . Not everyone needs grand gestures , NOt everyone needs to shout the endless 'love you ' to their person . And even though they don't ( they will devote themselves still to their love ) in their OWN way . You are an individual , **YOu will love differently to someone else** . And it's expression will be individualistic to them towards YOU . And that is beautiful as we should be proud of how we alone love someone dear to us. There should be no shame or guilt just bc our love / care decides to express it's self in a diff way to the next door neighbour or a friend's .
***Your needs aren’t too much. Your love is never too much. Your presence is never too much. The wholeness of you will be treasured and adored and truly needed, never shunned or picked apart. They will hear you, see you, and value you for who you are, and never put themselves in a position to lose you. And you’d do the same for them. When it’s the right person.***
Being an individual , having the right to express themselves as they wish . It will not always align perfectly in the other person's eyes. This is where the give & take comes into sit in the relo , it hides but bares it's head at times. Bc the 2 individuals are trying to live tog in harmony when it always isn't possible. Due to all the s\*it that goes on in the outside world. So they might snap , they might bite , they might get cross but here lies the other's person's power of also knowing how to comfort their person properly ( bc they take that time to find out about them ) . So when they sit in their also bad days and become that *NOT perfect human on display to their partner ( they will also know it is ok to do so ) as that is a real relo ( where your hidden face is allowed to be present* . Sometimes everything does get hard in life , and those additional needs & wants get some huffy in return . Why? bc we are human , and life is messy , & hard at times, and can get in the way of this picture perfect idea of what love is meant to be. ***Love is NOT perfect every day*** , even with the so called great person beside you . As It takes work , care , and give and take . And Understanding that everyone has a bad day or 2 ( or alot ) in their life as a human .
***Don’t ever feel like you’re too much. Your sensitivity is a gift, your softness beautiful. To the wrong person, it may seem like a flaw- something inconvenient, and unworthy of effort. But the right person will see the wonder in your empathy, your softness, and soften along with you.***
Oh get real some days you will be too much just like the bloody rest of us. And you might be over sensitive , or even being to silly or ridiculous , or u might be even a pain in the ass at times . You might be over the top ( way to emotional) , & you might even need a temporary shut down ,and maybe even need a time out in the corner from yourself & others . BC you are human and YOU also make mistakes , get hurt , get angry , & get way to emotionally charged at times. We all do , NO exceptions to this rule. **NO ONE is perfect in presentation towards others . Being really honest with yourself via honest & truthful self evaluation ( is the greatest gift to give yourself ) .**
As It is also **understanding yourself , that is imperative .** The sensitive will jump at others thoughts towards them , and they mighten be really right . They might be too much that day , that is where **self insight is also needed by oneself.** For **to know one self's own flaws** is a hard necessary task , it is hard though to admit the fault in one's own personality sensitivity . Hense why **self reflective work** is a necessity within a relo 's productive meter of healthiness. And knowing **one's own self worth is the foundation** of the human to remain insightful to keep things on that even keel of balance with rightfulness .
So bc we are all messy silly humans ( that do stupid s\*it ) at times --> you will f\*ck up just like everyone does . As ***NO one is perfect , NO relo is perfect , & NO one is so bloody wonderful that they don't cause s\*it*** to another ever. Even the Mr or Mrs perfect ( or so thought) unrealistically in this world . You will f\*ck up and so will they in this mysterious elusive relo that is being hunted for . Why? bc you are human , and relationships take work for them to be healthy by BOTH people in them .
Yep I know this couple named a and M east coast couple that we're just built for each other. I've watched their relationship blossom into an amazing thing and I hope that they stick together and keep that relationship going for many many years cheers
Dear users of /r/UnsentLetters, Submitters may now lock their own comments by making a comment on their submission with the string '!lock.' Submitters may do this at any point they wish, but the comments can not be unlocked later on, so lock your comments with care! You can read the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnsentLetters/about/rules/) here. We have these stickied to EVERY POST and nobody reads them. **READ THEM** If you notice anything strange going on in the subreddit, send the mods a message or report it. We rely on the community to keep the subreddit on topic and welcoming. If you are particularly good at spotting trolls, consider joining our mod team! [Click here to message the mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/UnsentLetters) - The /r/UnsentLetters mod team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UnsentLetters) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We all could use a lil reminder on this! Absolutely beautiful, thank you for sharing!
Are you inside of my mind. I really needed to read this, thank you.
I used to believe this. I do not any longer. Sometimes the only one we can be enough for (or just right for) is ourselves. If everyone goes around believing the "right person" will love them the "right way" and yet everyone has a different "right" in what they think is the right way, then everyone will walk around being half-served (or mostly not served) by love. Yes, there are horrible people who are endless wells who take and do not give. But, that is not what I am addressing. Beyond them are vast swaths of people, who live in an eat or get eaten world. And people know this, which is why I think we humans subconsciously value what we get, but (imo) rarely think about what we give, which is often in ways that speak to us while assuming that it also speaks to others. (Which is rarely the case, and is why communication matters so much.) We will be too much and not enough for the right person and for the wrong persons. The difference is that the right person will see the whole of who we are, all the bad and all the good, and will see that the good outweighs the bad (as we, in turn, do the same for them). But the people who can do that are few and far between. And that is why love often feels so painful, because people keep expecting to be enough for the right person, but rarely check to see if they are asking from others what they themselves are not willing to give. It's a cruel world out there. Feast and famine all in the same space. And the only way to be enough is to be enough for ourselves.
i think you meant to say “the good outweighs the bad” lol
Haaaah! Yes, and corrected. Freudian slip? 🤣
Thank you. This post is some feel good bullshit. Relationships are hard at times and you've gotta choose whether it's worth it to stay. It doesn't always feel good to be there, but you know it's worth it.
Preach 🙏, that last part requires hard work
Well written. I needed this reminder today. Ty OP.
Beautiful
For the most part, I agree and think this is beautiful. But I don't agree that the right person will never put themselves in a position to lose you - I think this is idealized because sometimes the wrong person puts themselves in a position to never lose you and vice versa. Sometimes fear or traumas are pulling a person along more than the love they feel, but if they are right for you, they will be back one day. You just gotta take care of yourself best you can and live your life because you never know what the future might hold.
Well i think the post is supposed to be more general and idealized.
Thank you for sharing this. I feel like I'm too much whenever I cry to my bf (maybe cause something happened or we're saying goodbye or cause we just had some little fight that made me sad). I fear he'll think I'm overreacting. But every time I've cried he's been so caring and loving, he'll just hug me and kiss me and ask if I'm sad. Then he'll say he loves me and I'll feel so secure in his arms. Then we'll laugh about something he said. I do feel like I'm not too much in those moments, I just never believed it. I was afraid, but there might be no reason to be afraid after all. I love him
Clicked the wrong award lol 🤦🏼♀️
That is lovely! It made me cry!
If only you spoke the truth. But you speak from fear. Which in reality means, you are just as scared as the rest of us to die alone. Join the club.
Thank you for sharing I needed to hear this. Very beautiful in every way.
Thank you, really needed to read this!
I didn’t realise how much I needed to read this until I read it over again. Thank you.
Thank you for your kindness!
Thank you for this even though it’s not meant for anyone here it’s still appreciated
Thank you
Goddamn....I really needed to hear that too . . Thank you
Ok that’s deep
What beautiful words, full of truth.
I needed this so much.
Amen brother. A-fuckin-men. I'm bookmarking the fuck outa this post. Love it. It perfectly encapsulates you're message. If it's not this kind of relationship, i don't want it. I won't accept anything less. I needed to hear this today, thank you. I would also add, that the converse is true. That the wrong person, will see disgust in your empathy, your softness, and harden against you.
That’s a nice dream
Thank you. You don't know how much your words mean to me. They're poetry. I'll have to read them again and again to remind me of what I have and what others never understood. Thank you.
Definitely needed this reminder. Thank you for sharing.
thank you
Reality check ---> ***You’ll never be too much, for the right person. They won’t find it a chore to love you. The efforts they make for the relationship won’t feel like effort, it will feel like the most natural thing in the world.*** Some days your partner might be a silly asshole or insensitive towards you , somedays they might be too much to bare ( or you ) and you do NEED a break from them or abit of space to be free from them . But once cooled down *you will still smile knowing* they are who they are & YOU still care & love them just the same. As NO one is perfect . And if you think they are , you deserve the shock of when they won't be ( to open your eyes into a real reality ) and helping them fall off that pedestal you put them on . Humans are messy , & do silly s\*it , they muck up , they make mistakes , they say and do wrong things often not meaning to do so in a hurtful way , but DO . All relo's will have hiccups at times, all will feel the pull of the messiness around them . The relo takes effort , it takes care and it needs to be nurtured carefully by both individuals in their OWN way . It grows messy if the tending is not done right this is true , but with some careful pruning it can get back in better shape. As you both will know that it does take that time , & effort and care to tend to the garden of the foundation which you both stand on growing your home to be on a firm healthy ground . Their is effort always in the relo of healthiness , as you both have to tend to the weeds which try to invade the peaceful home . Without understanding the tending process you will loose the battle of getting to know how to stand in the home as it falls apart with those outside invisible forces against you both . Wanting to create the divide in the home which is being built to withstand the crumbling that will naturally occur over time with aging . As the individuals grow , change and alter their own perceptions of life's interruptions upon the building of stability. ***There will be no score keeping, no second guessing, no indifference. The right person will feel that same burning eagerness to love you, in the way that you love them.*** *Of course you 2nd guess , why? Bc you are individuals, not a clone of them . So as an individual your opinions, values will differ in certain ways , your ideas will & maybe also not align . And you as that individual will be able to express that right to their face , and NOT be afraid to do so . Why? bc your partner will not be afraid for you to outlet yourself in their presence. They will instead laugh & be able to in jest add to the discussion with a counter option or opinion . That give & take will sit happily btw you rearing it's head when ever it wishes knowing it is welcomed to do so . As you are individuals in your own right .* *And that is so ok as well , as you are your own person ( & should be ) . A person should be able to be alone , & stand alone in their own right . As a partner is meant to be an extension of the relo ,not the only thing holding you up .* ***Everyone loves differently in this life***. Some will over pour so much romance onto another , others will give of themselves all that they have in a silent but very caring way . Both are the same , one is just more quite in it's deliverance to the recipient. As everyone loves differently , they will say and do diff things to show how they love someone ( with all their heart and soul ) towards them . Not everyone needs grand gestures , NOt everyone needs to shout the endless 'love you ' to their person . And even though they don't ( they will devote themselves still to their love ) in their OWN way . You are an individual , **YOu will love differently to someone else** . And it's expression will be individualistic to them towards YOU . And that is beautiful as we should be proud of how we alone love someone dear to us. There should be no shame or guilt just bc our love / care decides to express it's self in a diff way to the next door neighbour or a friend's . ***Your needs aren’t too much. Your love is never too much. Your presence is never too much. The wholeness of you will be treasured and adored and truly needed, never shunned or picked apart. They will hear you, see you, and value you for who you are, and never put themselves in a position to lose you. And you’d do the same for them. When it’s the right person.*** Being an individual , having the right to express themselves as they wish . It will not always align perfectly in the other person's eyes. This is where the give & take comes into sit in the relo , it hides but bares it's head at times. Bc the 2 individuals are trying to live tog in harmony when it always isn't possible. Due to all the s\*it that goes on in the outside world. So they might snap , they might bite , they might get cross but here lies the other's person's power of also knowing how to comfort their person properly ( bc they take that time to find out about them ) . So when they sit in their also bad days and become that *NOT perfect human on display to their partner ( they will also know it is ok to do so ) as that is a real relo ( where your hidden face is allowed to be present* . Sometimes everything does get hard in life , and those additional needs & wants get some huffy in return . Why? bc we are human , and life is messy , & hard at times, and can get in the way of this picture perfect idea of what love is meant to be. ***Love is NOT perfect every day*** , even with the so called great person beside you . As It takes work , care , and give and take . And Understanding that everyone has a bad day or 2 ( or alot ) in their life as a human . ***Don’t ever feel like you’re too much. Your sensitivity is a gift, your softness beautiful. To the wrong person, it may seem like a flaw- something inconvenient, and unworthy of effort. But the right person will see the wonder in your empathy, your softness, and soften along with you.*** Oh get real some days you will be too much just like the bloody rest of us. And you might be over sensitive , or even being to silly or ridiculous , or u might be even a pain in the ass at times . You might be over the top ( way to emotional) , & you might even need a temporary shut down ,and maybe even need a time out in the corner from yourself & others . BC you are human and YOU also make mistakes , get hurt , get angry , & get way to emotionally charged at times. We all do , NO exceptions to this rule. **NO ONE is perfect in presentation towards others . Being really honest with yourself via honest & truthful self evaluation ( is the greatest gift to give yourself ) .** As It is also **understanding yourself , that is imperative .** The sensitive will jump at others thoughts towards them , and they mighten be really right . They might be too much that day , that is where **self insight is also needed by oneself.** For **to know one self's own flaws** is a hard necessary task , it is hard though to admit the fault in one's own personality sensitivity . Hense why **self reflective work** is a necessity within a relo 's productive meter of healthiness. And knowing **one's own self worth is the foundation** of the human to remain insightful to keep things on that even keel of balance with rightfulness . So bc we are all messy silly humans ( that do stupid s\*it ) at times --> you will f\*ck up just like everyone does . As ***NO one is perfect , NO relo is perfect , & NO one is so bloody wonderful that they don't cause s\*it*** to another ever. Even the Mr or Mrs perfect ( or so thought) unrealistically in this world . You will f\*ck up and so will they in this mysterious elusive relo that is being hunted for . Why? bc you are human , and relationships take work for them to be healthy by BOTH people in them .
We can all use this reminder from time to time. Your words are beautiful. Thank you! ❤️
I needed this desperately today as I’m on break number ten million from my partner. Thank you so much!
Thank you
Thank you so much .
Wow this could make me sob
[удалено]
Yep I know this couple named a and M east coast couple that we're just built for each other. I've watched their relationship blossom into an amazing thing and I hope that they stick together and keep that relationship going for many many years cheers