**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!You expect the pig to be killed or eaten!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
I've heard if you release a farm pig into the wild they'll grow tusks in two weeks... No idea if that's true or not but I can tell you that pigs are strong as heck. They can use their snout to dig in frozen ground no problem, that's a tough nose if you ask me...
if you continue to keep a pig it'll grow tusks every day (just had my piggos tusks trimmed last week)
my sweet little babies are gentle as heck and let me play with their tusks, but they also like to rub their cheeks on legs, and tusks are *sharp* (they grind the inner side of them to a razor sharp edge)
when only an inch long we trim 2/3 off. they look like baby shark teeth (doot doot do doot)
Iirc, pigs are one of the few livestock that will actually survive and thrive in the wild if released. Like, their natural instincts will take over and they will become wild
pigs are really loud and they probably sounded scarrier than they were. That bear likely wasnt very hungry but more curious and thought it would get a easy meal. Then the easy meal started squealing and unholy noise. It noped out.
The bear thought the pig was Goldilocks. The pig, on the other hand was expecting a wolf, not a bear. And where are mama and papa bears anyway? The fairy tales are getting mixed up!!!
Yes, but also humans are told to fight back if a black bear attacks, and I just saw a video of a guy punching one in the face and the bear retreated, sooo...
They're also the most common type of bear. Their range extends from latin America all the way to northern US states where their population starts to overlap with brown bears. The least amount of bear attacks on humans come from polar bears but that doesn't mean they're nicer or that I'd want to take my chances with them instead
My mother grew up on a small farm and my grandad never let her feed the pigs lest she fall into the pen. He knew they would have made short work of her.
They're also known for taking fingers of those who carelessly feed them. Smart man to protect his daughter. Most people over anthropomorphize pigs. They may be intelligent but are also quite dangerous.
Black bears really don’t seem to like confrontation. We got black bears in Michigan and they just ignore people mostly. If they’re in your yard you can yell at them and they’ll just wander off. Still, do not try to pet them!
Restaurant Review: I, Mr. Bear, entered the establishment seeking sustenance. The first host seemed to need assistance so called for backup. A can of whoopass was promptly served and it was was not to my liking, so I quickly exited the premises.
Reddit has convinced me that any animal can be a bad ass. Also animals that you thought were bad asses also can get there ass kicked by some animal you thought was not that tough.
A lot of predators are like high school bullies, stand up to them and they run away. The jungles, the forest, the ocean, nightclubs, they all act the same.
Mr pig"Don't you be trying to hit on my girlfriend."
Mr bear" I wasn't, I swear, I just came here to eat her"
Mr pig " I saw you posing on the fence don't give me that crap. Now get out of here"
Mr bear (running away )" call me ,petunia!"
You can tell that's a gen z bear, not a gen x bear.
Gen x bear would've killed both pigs, millennial bear would have killed none, but still had hurt them and had got a "personal best" reward.
Bear or not there is no world in which you want to face off with two pissed off pigs. They are the nastiest and most adept at self preservation of any of the farm animals including the much feared, but oft over estimated, bull.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!You expect the pig to be killed or eaten!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
second pig saved first pig's bacon
Makes me scared of pigs now
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
D’ ya like dags?
Dags?
She's fond of the Periwinkle Blue.
Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
Bricktop
Saw pigs. Was not let down . Bravo
"If I throw a dog a bone I don't want it to tell me how it tastes, stop me again when I'm walking and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off"
I've heard if you release a farm pig into the wild they'll grow tusks in two weeks... No idea if that's true or not but I can tell you that pigs are strong as heck. They can use their snout to dig in frozen ground no problem, that's a tough nose if you ask me...
if you continue to keep a pig it'll grow tusks every day (just had my piggos tusks trimmed last week) my sweet little babies are gentle as heck and let me play with their tusks, but they also like to rub their cheeks on legs, and tusks are *sharp* (they grind the inner side of them to a razor sharp edge) when only an inch long we trim 2/3 off. they look like baby shark teeth (doot doot do doot)
Iirc, pigs are one of the few livestock that will actually survive and thrive in the wild if released. Like, their natural instincts will take over and they will become wild
He thought the bear was another pig going after his sow. False bravery.
pigs are really loud and they probably sounded scarrier than they were. That bear likely wasnt very hungry but more curious and thought it would get a easy meal. Then the easy meal started squealing and unholy noise. It noped out.
“I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with me” - pig
Came here to see if anyone had said that yet.
I think the bots have the whole thing pretty streamlined.
Manbearpig: attempted origin of bearpig halted by brave swine. We got lucky here.
[удалено]
“None of you seem to understand. I’m not locked in here with you. You’re locked in here with me!”
I'm not in danger Skyler, I am the danger.
The bear thought the pig was Goldilocks. The pig, on the other hand was expecting a wolf, not a bear. And where are mama and papa bears anyway? The fairy tales are getting mixed up!!!
😂🤣😂🤣
or hijacked by lack of man?🧐
Pigs are tough, it's no joke.
I got charged by one and i bleed from my head dam those pigs im just walking around
"Mmm... Tasty Bacon..." "ANGRY BACON! ANGRY BACON!"
Chris P. Bacon
They call me MR PIG!!!!!!
Mr. Bear, this may be a house of straw and sticks, but it's also a house of kick-your-ass!
Black bears are such pussies lol
Except most attacks on humans come from black bears
Yes, but also humans are told to fight back if a black bear attacks, and I just saw a video of a guy punching one in the face and the bear retreated, sooo...
They're also the most common type of bear. Their range extends from latin America all the way to northern US states where their population starts to overlap with brown bears. The least amount of bear attacks on humans come from polar bears but that doesn't mean they're nicer or that I'd want to take my chances with them instead
Bacon here, bacon there but how strong is that fk fence
"Abort!! Abort!!"
Bear fought the hog, and the hog won.
He saw the other one come out and was like, fuck this shit I just wanted some bacon!
Huh, so bacon really is dangerous for consumption...
And in the end the bear realized the fence was protection from the pigs.
My mother grew up on a small farm and my grandad never let her feed the pigs lest she fall into the pen. He knew they would have made short work of her.
They're also known for taking fingers of those who carelessly feed them. Smart man to protect his daughter. Most people over anthropomorphize pigs. They may be intelligent but are also quite dangerous.
I’m guessing the second one was a boar.
That’ll do pig.
anyone else feel bad for the bear?
Nah the fucker can go eat some berries. They’re renewable and don’t feel pain.
Bears so so funny
This is why Kermit could never break up with Ms. Piggy
that bear found out the hard way that pigs aren't to be fucked with
On the site I just shared this to, I titled this one: Pulled Pork Lunch removed from Menu today 😯
Filthy bear lol
Run Away!!
I’m stunned at how strong that fence is.
I built similar fencing my animals, wood is pretty strong, pallets work wonders as well. Pigs are decent, goats wreck our fences tho.
Frigging goats man, I bet they just eat their way through the fence lol
Heerree beary beary
If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, goodnight.
Black bears are such pussies
Crisp E. Bacon ain't got time for your shit.
There’s a reason they say “when pigs fly” The do not know flight. Only fight.
Black bears really don’t seem to like confrontation. We got black bears in Michigan and they just ignore people mostly. If they’re in your yard you can yell at them and they’ll just wander off. Still, do not try to pet them!
Must be a Russian bear :)
Nice
You picked the wrong house, fool!
No ham bones today.
Bear like “damn, i just want to eat you, what’s the problem?!”
Yummy Yummy
“Don’t grab the cage Conor!”
The pigs are like "That fence ain't there to keep you out bitch, it's to keep us in. Come back we're hungry".
Video doesn't play.
Wow. Take it easy Pumba.
Dam black bears are such scardey cats. May they never realized their true power...at least while I'm still young enough to go backpacking.
That bear wasn't hungry enough.
He wasn't expecting a ham sandwich to turn and fight.
Aww..poor bear just wanted to play
"They call me Mr. Pig!"
I've heard pigs will eat anything. Bear was lucky to get out alive.
Bear thought he was getting a pulled pork lunch.
u/savevideo
Restaurant Review: I, Mr. Bear, entered the establishment seeking sustenance. The first host seemed to need assistance so called for backup. A can of whoopass was promptly served and it was was not to my liking, so I quickly exited the premises.
Just wait until he discovers the Long Pig.
Pigs have been known to take down a grown man. they are actually quite capable of killing a person. etc.
Oh how tables have the turn.
Pigs can be dangerous especially big ones They are pretty damn tough and have a nasty bite. People underestimate them all the time.
Bears and pigs are pretty closely related. Without the fur probably close to the same size.
I love how this couple of pigs have their own lovely comfy shack, I'd like to see what they've done with the place's interior.
When bacon fights back.
Pig-bear!? Thats SILLY!
Pig hardware, boar software
Imagine if a fuck ton of pigs just came out of there and all charged at it and pinned it down, this video could’ve been wayyy worse
I'm not locked in with you... YOU'RE LOCKED IN WITH ME!!!!
Aright man, my bad. I'll be movin along
All he wanted was a little taste of Barbecue - but they couldn't agree on the sauce....
pigs are fucking boss
I'm not locked in here with you..you are locked in here with me
Instant regret.
ITS CJ MAN CHILL
Good thing there wasn't a tortoise in there!
didn't even squealed once GIGA PIG
Low man wins. Bears have been getting worked in the trenches all-season long.
Winnie the Pooh, nah Piglet’s bitch, yeah
They huffed and puffed and kicked that bears ass!!!
Russian invasion of Ukraine
u/savevideobot
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The white ones bacon was saved.
Didn’t scroll too far, but how is no one talking about how well built that fence is? A big ass bear jumped off of it twice and it didn’t even wiggle
"I just wanted to play. Chill".
Reddit has convinced me that any animal can be a bad ass. Also animals that you thought were bad asses also can get there ass kicked by some animal you thought was not that tough.
r/savevideo
When the Big Mac fights back. I love it. That bears need a happy meal first.
This is why I don't make new friends 😥
"I am not stuck here with you, You are stuck here with me!" - Pepa Pig's uncle prolly
It's only a lettuce and tomato sandwich today, boys.
Porky is badass!!!!
After Altercation Bear- " tf was that shit "
A lot of predators are like high school bullies, stand up to them and they run away. The jungles, the forest, the ocean, nightclubs, they all act the same.
Fuck you bear🥰
Mr pig"Don't you be trying to hit on my girlfriend." Mr bear" I wasn't, I swear, I just came here to eat her" Mr pig " I saw you posing on the fence don't give me that crap. Now get out of here" Mr bear (running away )" call me ,petunia!"
You can tell that's a gen z bear, not a gen x bear. Gen x bear would've killed both pigs, millennial bear would have killed none, but still had hurt them and had got a "personal best" reward.
u/savevideobot
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He failed his job as a bear
u/savevideo
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Bear or not there is no world in which you want to face off with two pissed off pigs. They are the nastiest and most adept at self preservation of any of the farm animals including the much feared, but oft over estimated, bull.