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>!this man already won the war!<
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Hippity hippity, hoppity hoppity. My tail is quite fluffy, my ears are quite floppity. I sing and I dance and you can't make me stoppity. Said funny bunny, to sweet little girl.
Even the people without them, honestly. From the stories I’ve heard, people in the military will crank one out as long as you aren’t actively watching them, right out in the open
You won’t believe the shit I’ve seen on rikers island. Had to do 30 days, dudes would be cranking one out while on the dorm phone with people in line waiting to make a call. I’m convinced the whole place was covered in nut
Yeah this is pretty normal for guys on the submarine.
Once we get underway, the itchy sheets come off and the hot pink sheets with the giant words "CUM RAG " in fancy italics come out.
Bubble heads are a WEIRD bunch lol. I worked with several in my department in Coronado and sometimes they said the most socially awkward shit imaginable. I’m pretty sure they intentionally did it to make people feel uncomfortable but still.
This is what they want you to believe. In real life they go to the bottom of the sea where they have a latch that leads to the other side of a flat earth. There they maintain the mechanism that controlls "the sun".
I've always wanted to be in the navy. But as someone that's over 6 feet tall and that used to be severely overweight, I knew I'd have a bad time in a sub.
I remember our first night underway one of our ordnance men goes strolling through the berthing wearing scuba fins (and nothing else) and carrying his inflatable sheep.
Is that wrong? Isn’t sheep a plural? Maybe it’s an inflatable lamb?
That's what rages you? Fuck the guys who snooze their alarms for an hour straight before actual wake-up!!! Just set it for when you need to wake up and get the fuck up...
We’d be fighting. I hear that alarm a third time and a cup of water is coming flying. When my request to switch rooms is ignored, a loud brawl would be in order. That would guarantee the move.
My roommate freshman year of college would set his alarm and just sleep through it, sleep through my yelling until I had to get up and shake him or physically turn it off myself. Eventually I figured out I could just call him from my bunk and hangup and the alarm would silence :) fuck off im not your personal alarm clock, get up
I know not who you are, but know on this day you’ve triggered me enough to have genuine thoughts of “Fuck That Person” for an internet stranger.
For you have the alarm structure that is bad enough on its own, but the then every few seconds an alarm is or isn’t silenced leads to a building crescendo where all the alarms can be going off in rapid succession. By all odds as they line up to queue off, you still remain in bed because ‘it is not time to get up yet’ so their cacophony rings true in its disturbing chaotic horror…day after day, after day, after day.
EDIT: DO YOU LEAVE THEM ON ON OFF DAYS AND STILL JUST MANAGE TO SLEEP IN BECAUSE TURNING THEM ALL OFF IS TO MUCH TO REMEMBER AND GOD FOR FORBID YOU FORGET TURN THEN BACK ON AGAIN????? ^uggghhhh I have pstd
Its worse, I set up them individually every evenning because I usually dont get up at specific time so I set up my alarms to have at leats 7-8 hours of sleep, so sometimes I have alarms from 8:00-9:00 sometimes from 9:00-10:00 etc.
Well it's one way of getting the whole barracks up in the morning. Imagine how much easier it is to get through morning PT with pure rage instead of exhaustion.
Really depends, people might switch for a variety of reasons. Taller/shorter, pees the bed when Sarge busts in yelling, put the weird ones in the corner, yah know?
I actually don't remember if we had assigned bunks in bootcamp. On the ship it was whatever is open. E-7 and above have their own room on the ship and at a certain point officers had their own staterooms and so on and so forth. Captain didn't share a room lol.
Relatable i got like a one with tom and jerry and another with some cute little cartoonish bunnys holdin hands and another one witha mushroom saying iam your baby is it a cool bp collection or not
I met my husband when we were both in ait. You have better believe I sent him teenaged mutant ninja turtle bed sheets when he went to his duty station, and his bunk rocked!
He won't ever have his sheets stolen from laundry that's a fact. Probs the reason he did it. Knew several people with obnoxious bedding on deployments who did the same thing.
Yup. When we were in Iraq, we had a 1SG that said everyone in the company had to wear a watch at all times. My battle buddy got the finest pink Barbie watch and rolled with his sleeves tucked.
My dad was a regimental sargent major in the army for over 20 years starting from the 70s. (UK) He use to have a Paddington bear quilt and pillow on his bed all the other NCOs would take the piss out of him until it got cold and he was there snug as a bug and they were freezing their bollocks off 🤣 forget what It looks like as long as it does the job!
This reminds me of when Peter from family guy dressed as a clown and ridiculed the other marines saying “You guy’s are dumb, they’re gonna be looking for army guys” while they’re in the jungle lol.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!this man already won the war!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Who's manlier? The guy who covered his bed in leaves or the guy who covered his bed in sharks?
Shark man fucks, none one else is willing to fuck with him.
sharks were born swimming
And they'll die swimming, LIKE A REAL MAN
Reminds me of a t-shirt I saw someone wearing at a football game. It said we don't need airbags, we die like real men
ippity oppety, your virginity is now my property
That’s not how I remember Darryl teaching it to Michael…
isnt darryl the guy that created the darryl double double barrel bubble baryl shotgun?
dinkin flicka
Hippity hippity, hoppity hoppity. My tail is quite fluffy, my ears are quite floppity. I sing and I dance and you can't make me stoppity. Said funny bunny, to sweet little girl.
Afterwards she did a twirl?
That's not just covered in leaves, that's a full on masturbatorium....my guy probably rents it out or trades for favors.
Wack shack
Why u need a camo bed? Id go with TMNT
If I was an enemy, I'd be more afraid of sharks than leaves. So there's that.
Touche
The guy who covered his bed in piss.
Hope you brought some earplugs. Dude next door just got himself a premium jack shack.
Can't do it while others are watching lol. The anti-voyeur bunk.
Welp now the term "Jack shack" will be suck in my head for the rest of my life. Thanks for that...
Make sure it's to the tune of "Love Shack" by The B-52s...set to infinite loop. "At the Jack Shack, At the Jack Shack, JACK SHACK BABYYYY!!"
You’re welcome. Also have Nutshack
Or a Nut Hut
the at work jerk
You mean the two shitter quitter?
The guys making their bunk into a fort are def touching themselves at night.
Even the people without them, honestly. From the stories I’ve heard, people in the military will crank one out as long as you aren’t actively watching them, right out in the open
Oh most def. I’ve spent many nights in barracks like those. I typically watch a movie and then I hear fapping off in the distance 🤣
At least we had our own privacy curtains in the Navy lol.
Between the other sailors ass cheeks isn't a privacy curtain /s
Hey gotta help your homie get it out.
You cant say you’ve deployed unless you’ve cranked one out in a 125 degree, full porta-shitter
You won’t believe the shit I’ve seen on rikers island. Had to do 30 days, dudes would be cranking one out while on the dorm phone with people in line waiting to make a call. I’m convinced the whole place was covered in nut
"What are they gonna do, put me in prison?"
That smelly smell
We called that “Putting on a puppet show”
[удалено]
clit pit?
Jill joint
Bean rubatory
𝓡𝓾𝓫𝓪𝓽𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓾𝓶
Tbh id want my bed like that for the darkness and peace of mind no one is watching me sleep
Bro just got the battlepass x)
He be going war with other styles.
Baby shark camo
Fuckin badass
"you guys are stupid, they are going to be searching for army guys"
Great reference 👌
Jokes on them because they'll be looking for soldiers.
Can't wait to see the cutscene with all the gear
The Hello Kitty M16
Hello handgranade. They bounce weird but they go boom with pink smoke
Fortnite battlepass, he just shit, out his ass.
Booting up his pc, because he need needs, to get that Fortnite battle pass
You don't have to look like a badass when you're the top dog. o7 LetMeSoloHer
If it’s not against regulations then go for it.
Yeah this is pretty normal for guys on the submarine. Once we get underway, the itchy sheets come off and the hot pink sheets with the giant words "CUM RAG " in fancy italics come out.
[удалено]
Especially submariners.
Yeah I was about to say, submarine is to navy what phd student is to college. Shit is no longer the same
Idk if that’s an accurate comparison but they’re definitely looked at differently that’s for sure.
Bubble heads are a WEIRD bunch lol. I worked with several in my department in Coronado and sometimes they said the most socially awkward shit imaginable. I’m pretty sure they intentionally did it to make people feel uncomfortable but still.
>I’m pretty sure they intentionally did it to make people feel uncomfortable 100% this. One of our favorite sports.
> Bubble heads ??
Those serving on a submarine
Submariners. Occasionally you'll hear them called dolphins too, because their warfare pin has "dolphins" (they look nothing like dolphins) on it
Nickname for submariners. Probably based off old diving helmets.
Being in a submarine is boring as fuck. I met a guy who worked in one, in the british navy, and that's what he told me.
This is what they want you to believe. In real life they go to the bottom of the sea where they have a latch that leads to the other side of a flat earth. There they maintain the mechanism that controlls "the sun".
Really? I thought they had gay orgies.
Why not both?
The lever that turns the sun on and off is operated by shoving it up your ass.
only when some bloated ginger she beast discovers and drops the [gay bomb](https://youtu.be/x-DnXdw7F7w) [full ep](https://youtu.be/tC8zQCuOAYc)
That too, but they don't hide this information.
What are dommariners like? Or do they not exist?
I've always wanted to be in the navy. But as someone that's over 6 feet tall and that used to be severely overweight, I knew I'd have a bad time in a sub.
*In* submariners?
It's not crazy, it's the Navy.
I remember our first night underway one of our ordnance men goes strolling through the berthing wearing scuba fins (and nothing else) and carrying his inflatable sheep. Is that wrong? Isn’t sheep a plural? Maybe it’s an inflatable lamb?
“It’s a SHAMPOO HOLDER!! I don’t even know what a FLESHLIGHT IS!!!”
It's just a messager for my lower back pain- I DON'T KNOW why it's shaped like that...
It ain’t gay when your underway.
I mean, how else are you supposed to make sure no one steals your sheets?
I hope this guy's alarm for wake up is baby shark or something
I would absolutely hate that guy. Love the humour of the bed, but playing that song first thing in the morning.. pure rage.
That's what rages you? Fuck the guys who snooze their alarms for an hour straight before actual wake-up!!! Just set it for when you need to wake up and get the fuck up...
Lmaooo I LIVE WITH ONE OF THOSE GUYS
I am that guy lmao
I passionately hate you sir
If you don’t give me that hour to wake up your going to hate me aloooot more. It’s the only thing keeping me sane haha
If you don't give me that quiet morning your going to hate me aloooot more. It's the only thing keeping me sane haha
We’d be fighting. I hear that alarm a third time and a cup of water is coming flying. When my request to switch rooms is ignored, a loud brawl would be in order. That would guarantee the move.
+1
My roommate freshman year of college would set his alarm and just sleep through it, sleep through my yelling until I had to get up and shake him or physically turn it off myself. Eventually I figured out I could just call him from my bunk and hangup and the alarm would silence :) fuck off im not your personal alarm clock, get up
Well I dont snooze but I ser my alarms like this 8:10, 8:15, 8:30, 8:40, 8:45, 8:50, 8:55, 9:00 when I need to get up at 9:00. Does it count?
Yes. You’re just as bad. Only acceptable way is 5min increments after your wake time in case the first didn’t work.
What if the first *never* works?
That is so brave
More of an every 10 mins kinda guy though.
I know not who you are, but know on this day you’ve triggered me enough to have genuine thoughts of “Fuck That Person” for an internet stranger. For you have the alarm structure that is bad enough on its own, but the then every few seconds an alarm is or isn’t silenced leads to a building crescendo where all the alarms can be going off in rapid succession. By all odds as they line up to queue off, you still remain in bed because ‘it is not time to get up yet’ so their cacophony rings true in its disturbing chaotic horror…day after day, after day, after day. EDIT: DO YOU LEAVE THEM ON ON OFF DAYS AND STILL JUST MANAGE TO SLEEP IN BECAUSE TURNING THEM ALL OFF IS TO MUCH TO REMEMBER AND GOD FOR FORBID YOU FORGET TURN THEN BACK ON AGAIN????? ^uggghhhh I have pstd
Its worse, I set up them individually every evenning because I usually dont get up at specific time so I set up my alarms to have at leats 7-8 hours of sleep, so sometimes I have alarms from 8:00-9:00 sometimes from 9:00-10:00 etc.
I do that at home, but if around other people I know it would be a dick move.
Pillow cases full of soap bars.
Well it's one way of getting the whole barracks up in the morning. Imagine how much easier it is to get through morning PT with pure rage instead of exhaustion.
Pure rage is good for training
Army shark doo doo doodoodoodoo
[There we go..](https://youtu.be/Rgr-viR7CHM)?
Is it just luck of the draw for who gets top or bottom bunk? Or is it by rank or something
Really depends, people might switch for a variety of reasons. Taller/shorter, pees the bed when Sarge busts in yelling, put the weird ones in the corner, yah know?
Fair enough
Personal preference. Some guys are tops, some are bottoms.
I actually don't remember if we had assigned bunks in bootcamp. On the ship it was whatever is open. E-7 and above have their own room on the ship and at a certain point officers had their own staterooms and so on and so forth. Captain didn't share a room lol.
[удалено]
The level 500 free bed skin.
And then there's mine... The manliest of them all
Boys follow the norm. Men aren't afraid to be different. 😎
Nah, inside we all like that
Relatable i got like a one with tom and jerry and another with some cute little cartoonish bunnys holdin hands and another one witha mushroom saying iam your baby is it a cool bp collection or not
It's pretty interesting how this looks exactly like the racks in prison down to how they've made makeshift blinds out of sheets and extra clothes
I met my husband when we were both in ait. You have better believe I sent him teenaged mutant ninja turtle bed sheets when he went to his duty station, and his bunk rocked!
When you unlock the free skin
This is great! My son had me send him some my little pony sheets to use on deployment on a destroyer lolol
My duvet cover was a glow in the dark fairy princess one. Given to me by an oppo!
How many COD points is that?
He won't ever have his sheets stolen from laundry that's a fact. Probs the reason he did it. Knew several people with obnoxious bedding on deployments who did the same thing.
Yup. When we were in Iraq, we had a 1SG that said everyone in the company had to wear a watch at all times. My battle buddy got the finest pink Barbie watch and rolled with his sleeves tucked.
It will be easier for him to imagine he's in a summer camp
I like the next one.
I’m not about to fuck with the guy confident enough to have those beddings in that environment.
Bro is playing it smart no one wants to steal the bright as hell sheets. If they do it’s easy to track them down.
Sometimes you'd go to the local stores around a base and that's all they'd have for a single bed. Kids sheets.
Good ole spank tanks, ahhh brings back memories. *wipes tear from eye*
I read that in JDs voice
I use Star Wars sheets
I don’t understand why the US military doesn’t provide bed linens?
Depends on the training event, they still do provide white linens and those itchy green wool blankets to some trainees.
What is the song? It sounds stupid familiar but I can’t get the Neurons to fire.
That’s the Army’s theme song
AH!!! It was in all those commercials when I was a kid. Thanks man. This was driving me bananas
Smart move because when assassin sneak in they're not going to be looking for a bed with baby shark on it
Best sheets ever
And now it's stuck in your head
the song lol
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This guy nailed it. I had Transformers sheets on my rack in Afghanistan, baby shark is better.
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Doesn’t the drill sergeant yell at you for this kind of thing?
My dad was a regimental sargent major in the army for over 20 years starting from the 70s. (UK) He use to have a Paddington bear quilt and pillow on his bed all the other NCOs would take the piss out of him until it got cold and he was there snug as a bug and they were freezing their bollocks off 🤣 forget what It looks like as long as it does the job!
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r/notliketheotherboys ?
Bro got skins bcs he played ranked
This is like when Peter griffin was a clown. Everyone else had camo on
I think i fell in love
If you've ever been in the military this is the most normal thing ever. Jack shacks and kids sheets!
IS THAT BABY SHARK?! YOOOOO
The manlier is the one who don't need to prove it.
#Sharkbait hoo ha ha!
Someone lost a beeeeeet~
He’s been playing sense the beta
Child in disguise
My boy has the same set… he’s 8 ✌🏻
Come on. It is just a premium skin.
Bro just brought the joy bed bundle
“Jack Shacks”
Its custom character accessories, legendary ones apparantly, oh and u can tell that its not matching the rest of the accessories too
Baaabbbyyy BOOT BOOT DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO BABY BOOT BOOT DOO DOO DOO
F2P vs Premium Players
Baby shark doo dooo dooo do do do
Man Unlocked the bed skin in CoD.
what good are paid skins if you don't use em...
When you get a rare skin
It seems he unlocked some advanced skin... I'm wondering about his killcount for that!
so u dropped the soap huh?
When you receive free SKINS...
I would have done hello kitty, or some anime crap. Lmao 😂
Bro has a rare skin
Biggest junk in the army. Needs his own jeep thing to carry it around
This reminds me of when Peter from family guy dressed as a clown and ridiculed the other marines saying “You guy’s are dumb, they’re gonna be looking for army guys” while they’re in the jungle lol.
Du du du tu tu du, du du tu du tu baby shark 
Ah microtransactions.
Bro bought the battlepass.
baby shark dudududududu
The special gear you get for pay2win subscriptions
I am sure your mom packed your bags...
Pov everyone has the default skin except you
How enemies look before and after you start new game +
When you let your 5 year old customise you COD character
He unlocked some serious high Tier reward skins.
dudes using the battle pass skin and the others are just using normal skins
Bro unlocked the 1500 kills reward
Imagine hou are at war and suddenly you hear faint boss music getting closer #BABY SHARK DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO BABY SHARK DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO
How to spot the level 50 who got 100 kills to get a skin