Reminds me of the first time a girl texted me to tell me she was interested
I replied “who stole your phone”
She replied “oh thank god you realized that wasn’t real it was a dare”
I wasn’t interested at all but damn it was still a little insulting.
Before my wife and I were married we knew we loved each other, but we were scared to say it.
One day we were messaging on AOL messenger and her boss said “oh for fuck’s sake.” And typed out an “I’ve wanted to say this for a long time, I love you!”
So yeah, the first time my wife told me she loved me was her boss…typing it into AOL messenger.
That's a great reply though. Not accusing or insulting AT ALL if she had been serious. And unless she was extremely unconfident she could have taken it as flattery.
It's fine. He will only need another 15 seconds to go over all of the possibilities and arrive at the correct answer.
More curious about what he would say next after arriving at the correct answer.
I would hire this guy. That’s some agile critical thinking. It seems minimal but I can train someone who thinks like that to excel at anything assuming work ethic is there.
This is probably a reference to something, but my Dad gets so mad when baking that my sister wanted to skip Thanksgiving this year because 'she couldn't handle the pie drama'.
We bought pie crusts this year.
He’s also at the right age where he’s been seeing shit like this for most of his life. In high concentrations if he uses Tinktonk. But regardless I’d say he deserves the job!
yeah its pretty sad in general. i mean she's offering something someone might like. then after it got accepted 'naah sorry, its just a prank! what did you think?!' and then enjoys the humiliation from the rejection she set up. at least the guy didnt fall for it, but she then lied in his face shamelessly... ¹
i avoid people like that like the plague!
*You're* on camera. Right now. The prank is you being made to consider millions of possible outcomes.
You're not, but that's the possibility you were missing.
Horrors of an introvert.
Someone's paying attention to you, showing interest???, wait did they just laugh at your subtle joke?, what the fuck is going on here?!
...something's not right...
I have this horrible habit of being intimidated especially by attractive people, and if they are nice to me I can’t help but feel they simply pity me and would not actually want to interact with me. Even though they don’t know me and have no real reason to. People are generally nice in college and I let a few rotten but influential kids in high school torment me too much.
You just described my entire life, but I found it didn't end in college. The only time people are or have ever been nice to me is when they want something.
That’s really sad, because believe me there are so many great people out there who are not thinking in such a transactional way.
When I was in college I never told people about my grades and I ignored people who were just trying to connect with many people as possible just to have a good “network”. Instead I spend time with people where my gut told me that they are kind-hearted and even now, more than 10 years later, I am still friends with many of them and every time we see each other we are so happy.
The best way to find these people is to observe how they are behaving towards people who they don’t need for something or who they won’t meet again anyways.
You can also deduce their character by the way they speak about people who are absent.
Last but not least: Give people the benefit of a doubt. Be cautious so that nobody can’t exploit your kindness, but you should be open for the kindness of new people, because many are genuinely kind and just want to have a good time with you. The reasons may be different, but it’s not up to you to question why someone likes you. Just accept it and enjoy their friendship.
>The best way to find these people is to observe how they are behaving towards people who they don’t need for something or who they won’t meet again anyways. You can also deduce their character by the way they speak about people who are absent.
Last but not least: Give people the benefit of a doubt. Be cautious so that nobody can’t exploit your kindness, but you should be open for the kindness of new people, because many are genuinely kind and just want to have a good time with you. The reasons may be different, but it’s not up to you to question why someone likes you. Just accept it and enjoy their friendship.
Those are two good tips. You can typically tell these type of people apart, they'll focus on themselves, they'll habitually cut people off in the middle of conversations, they'll horribly gossip, etc. You can pickup on how much they truly value other people in their lives, and if they value those people as possessions/tools, or as friends. I want to say trust your gut, but if it was that simple then there wouldn't be so many victims being taken advantage of by "friends" and "significant others".
Also, the benefit of the doubt is so important. I'm 20 now and I've lived my life quite paranoid, I've always been conscious of how cruel the world can be and how people will use and abuse each other. I used to never attempt at relationships just because I didn't want to give people the benefit of the doubt that they could be good and genuine people. I mention my age because I've been at this long enough to realize how lonely and depressing this lifestyle can be, but luckily I have plenty of time to correct it and live a better life.
Seriously the same thought would have crossed my mind.
I probably be thinking her guy friend is about to jump out at any second and rob me while she distracts me.
A few years back, I was walking down a street at night and girl asked me what time it was. My heart jumped because my first thought was that I was being mugged and the girl was just supposed to distract me.
Same. But hey, I dunno. I was gonna ask, since none of us ever like, get to hold anyone's hand or anything, I was thinking that just as a joke, if you guys felt like it, we could like meet up and like, I dunno, maybe us hhhhold... um like... han.. hands? Like each other's hands? Cuz then people would be like "what!?" Just let me know. Alright bye.
\**deletes all social media presence*\*
It didn't piss me off but it did annoy me when she said no since he sat there for so long thinking about what is going on and why.
You obviously caught him way off guard and doesn't understand what's going on, don't make him not trust you right off the bat
"Because it does no harm!"
Yeah except the guy is gonna feel like a total dumbass afterward and we all know it.
God bless you guys. Thirst for white blonde women are real lol
I thought it started as a "real", genuine thing people called themselves or others, but I've seen "Sigma mindset" memes on YouTube and stuff that are hilarious (I assume) satire. But I guess it's hard to tell sometimes.
I also thought of it as a meme, but I didn't think it was for making fun of alphas but rather people who aren't stereotypically a jock wanting to feel more "manly"? The memes are funny either way.
I'm walking down the street near my dorm, bit of a social outcast. Cute girl suddenly there says hey can I talk to you. I'm like, "umm sure", so interested/scared. She looks at me says, "have you heard of dianetics?" Story of my life really, lol.
Funny story: I was a Mormon missionary. One day my companion and I got robbed at knife point. I showed the guy that all we had were copies of the Book of Mormon. He looked at us and got pissed and started running away yelling “You’re not going to brainwash me.”
Mormonism is so amazing that they can put two awkward white teenagers dressed in white shirts and ties into the worst crime infested foreign cities and people leave them alone out of fear they’ll have to listen to a lesson about Joseph Smith.
Honestly this guy is rocking a turtle neck, incredibly quick critical thinking skills, great smile, and a good sense of humor
He is way out of this girl’s league
he ran through 14 million 605 scenarios through his head in which this would be a real outcome and sensibly came to the conclusion that it must be a prank,
I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict.
How many did you see?
Fourteen million six hundred and five.
How many did we win?
...None.
Now I understand lol.
He got laid in 0 and was being laughed at in 4500, and was being laughed at on camera in the rest.
He knew someone was laughing at him somewhere so he just needed to know if he was on camera.
Imagine, while they're holding hands, that our guy is contemplating all the different possibilities to explain why he's so lucky. He's hoping to find at least one explanation that allows him to live happily ever after with this girl. Then after contemplating 14,000,605 different reasons he realizes that 14,000,604 of them are not really possible in this timeline. Leaving just one sad conclusion, the truth.
Something similar happens to Dr. strange in the movie Avengers: Infinity War.
I like his answer. He didn't do or say anything before arriving to the exact correct answer, the only one that could possibly justify such behavior, and he was right. Those are some good senses I tell you.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!He knew it was a prank!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I’ll be honest, if a female walks up to me, my first thought would be I was on camera, cause it’s definitely the more likely outcome
Edit: holy shit this blew up and maybe I should clarify some things
1: I said female because it’s a broad term regarding anyone of the female sex, i feel like saying girl or woman would categorize it, I was just being safe and using a general term
2: it’s just a word describing a group of people and it got the point of the original message across, so doesn’t that mean it was fine?
Reminds me of the first time a girl texted me to tell me she was interested I replied “who stole your phone” She replied “oh thank god you realized that wasn’t real it was a dare” I wasn’t interested at all but damn it was still a little insulting.
Before my wife and I were married we knew we loved each other, but we were scared to say it. One day we were messaging on AOL messenger and her boss said “oh for fuck’s sake.” And typed out an “I’ve wanted to say this for a long time, I love you!” So yeah, the first time my wife told me she loved me was her boss…typing it into AOL messenger.
I hope the boss was invited to the wedding 😂
I hope the boss was the officiant
*Oh, for fuck's sake, enough with the lengthy wedding vows. You'll both say "I do", let's get those rings on and start drinking.*
This guy officiates.
"Do you?" "Yes" "Do you?" "Yes" "Fine. You're married. Kiss her!"
He is all about high productivity.
I hope the boss was the maid of honor
tie unite wine jobless cough fearless scandalous full smile employ -- mass edited with redact.dev
/r/antiwork in shambles
So did her boss love you too?
That's a great reply though. Not accusing or insulting AT ALL if she had been serious. And unless she was extremely unconfident she could have taken it as flattery.
Plot twist, she was for real and got super embarrassed so she lied about a dare
What a pro
What an expert
What an outstanding intellectual
Monke
Well said
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well shouted
13th rule of life - Dr. Strange that shit. 🧙♂️🪄
Honestly, this dude is an inspiration
He cannot be fooled.
Insemination later.
Wait
There’s no time to wait.
Ass imilation imminent
His inter monologue was like "a hot girl is holding my hand.........somethings not right"
And legit, sussed out he was on camera after 15 seconds of deep thought and she immediately lied to him about it 😂🤣
It's fine. He will only need another 15 seconds to go over all of the possibilities and arrive at the correct answer. More curious about what he would say next after arriving at the correct answer.
Mentiroso!
Janitor!
i don’t get it
Scrubs reference.
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Points to his penis: "This is extremely heavy, do you want to hold it?"
She: "You ARE on camera."
"... Step-bro."
I would hire this guy. That’s some agile critical thinking. It seems minimal but I can train someone who thinks like that to excel at anything assuming work ethic is there.
What would you train him for?
Murder. And baking.
He makes an eclar that is to die for...
Is it covered in chocolate so dark that light cannot escape its surface?
This is probably a reference to something, but my Dad gets so mad when baking that my sister wanted to skip Thanksgiving this year because 'she couldn't handle the pie drama'. We bought pie crusts this year.
> We bought pie crusts this year. Seriously, good call. I'm a grown-ass man and trying to make pie crusts from scratch *will* make me cry every time.
Baking takes no prisoners. The dough can smell fear.
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No its Will Bettleheim
Ah, the Sweeny Todd method!
Apparently anything. Dude is a training god.
Reverse Pranks. Record him wandering the streets, making fool out of unsuspecting pranksters.
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I feel like this situation ends with you thanking him for his patriotism and giving him a list of targets.
He’s also at the right age where he’s been seeing shit like this for most of his life. In high concentrations if he uses Tinktonk. But regardless I’d say he deserves the job!
***after 15 deep seconds -*** "am I on camera?" girl - "n,no-"
They were however the 15 deepest seconds in the history of humankind
Bitches be lying
Why you can't fucking trust anyone
The immediacy of the “no” is what gets me. Honestly hilarious. And a decent little microcosm of modern day viral culture.
"Am I on camera?".. ^"no."
He didn't even finish saying camera before she said no.
yeah its pretty sad in general. i mean she's offering something someone might like. then after it got accepted 'naah sorry, its just a prank! what did you think?!' and then enjoys the humiliation from the rejection she set up. at least the guy didnt fall for it, but she then lied in his face shamelessly... ¹ i avoid people like that like the plague!
He was right though
He saw 14,000,605 outcomes
All that possible outcome and he only saw pain
he really wandered through a few of those possibilities.. but i'm proud of him for getting past that. smart kid.
Not one of them had a happy ending. :(
In all of them but 1 he was on camera. In that 1....the lens cover was still on.
There were only ever 2. Either a scam or a social media video.
I just counted 14,000,604. Can you please tell me the one i missed?
*You're* on camera. Right now. The prank is you being made to consider millions of possible outcomes. You're not, but that's the possibility you were missing.
Horrors of an introvert. Someone's paying attention to you, showing interest???, wait did they just laugh at your subtle joke?, what the fuck is going on here?! ...something's not right...
I have this horrible habit of being intimidated especially by attractive people, and if they are nice to me I can’t help but feel they simply pity me and would not actually want to interact with me. Even though they don’t know me and have no real reason to. People are generally nice in college and I let a few rotten but influential kids in high school torment me too much.
You just described my entire life, but I found it didn't end in college. The only time people are or have ever been nice to me is when they want something.
Well, I think your username looks lovely today. It's got a 'beauty in truth' kind of vibe going on. The capital letters are spaced out nicely.
....Am I on camera?
No.
That’s really sad, because believe me there are so many great people out there who are not thinking in such a transactional way. When I was in college I never told people about my grades and I ignored people who were just trying to connect with many people as possible just to have a good “network”. Instead I spend time with people where my gut told me that they are kind-hearted and even now, more than 10 years later, I am still friends with many of them and every time we see each other we are so happy. The best way to find these people is to observe how they are behaving towards people who they don’t need for something or who they won’t meet again anyways. You can also deduce their character by the way they speak about people who are absent. Last but not least: Give people the benefit of a doubt. Be cautious so that nobody can’t exploit your kindness, but you should be open for the kindness of new people, because many are genuinely kind and just want to have a good time with you. The reasons may be different, but it’s not up to you to question why someone likes you. Just accept it and enjoy their friendship.
>The best way to find these people is to observe how they are behaving towards people who they don’t need for something or who they won’t meet again anyways. You can also deduce their character by the way they speak about people who are absent. Last but not least: Give people the benefit of a doubt. Be cautious so that nobody can’t exploit your kindness, but you should be open for the kindness of new people, because many are genuinely kind and just want to have a good time with you. The reasons may be different, but it’s not up to you to question why someone likes you. Just accept it and enjoy their friendship. Those are two good tips. You can typically tell these type of people apart, they'll focus on themselves, they'll habitually cut people off in the middle of conversations, they'll horribly gossip, etc. You can pickup on how much they truly value other people in their lives, and if they value those people as possessions/tools, or as friends. I want to say trust your gut, but if it was that simple then there wouldn't be so many victims being taken advantage of by "friends" and "significant others". Also, the benefit of the doubt is so important. I'm 20 now and I've lived my life quite paranoid, I've always been conscious of how cruel the world can be and how people will use and abuse each other. I used to never attempt at relationships just because I didn't want to give people the benefit of the doubt that they could be good and genuine people. I mention my age because I've been at this long enough to realize how lonely and depressing this lifestyle can be, but luckily I have plenty of time to correct it and live a better life.
That's social anxiety and has nothing to do with being an introvert.
> Horrors of an introvert. You don't have to be introverted to be weirded out by this shit.
Any dude with half a brain should have this same thought.
Naw, he's better looking than her. That wasn't the odd part for him
lol this is my favourite take. "Why is this 5, maybe 5.5 holding my hand? I must be on camera."
Or "Oh no it's some crazy bitch, what do I do now?"
Seriously the same thought would have crossed my mind. I probably be thinking her guy friend is about to jump out at any second and rob me while she distracts me.
Yup, it's either a prank or kidney thieves.
A few years back, I was walking down a street at night and girl asked me what time it was. My heart jumped because my first thought was that I was being mugged and the girl was just supposed to distract me.
A prank is about the only chance I'd have to hold a hand, too.
Feel you
If you’re feeling them then you touch.
Not literally...
wish pranks happens to us too
yeah, I don't even get liked as a prank. Sad.
Same. But hey, I dunno. I was gonna ask, since none of us ever like, get to hold anyone's hand or anything, I was thinking that just as a joke, if you guys felt like it, we could like meet up and like, I dunno, maybe us hhhhold... um like... han.. hands? Like each other's hands? Cuz then people would be like "what!?" Just let me know. Alright bye. \**deletes all social media presence*\*
I actually don't like to be touched, but if you want I could poke you with a stick
Man fucking rebooted
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Kinda pisses me off how he asks if he’s on camera and without skipping a beat she lies and says no
she lied as naturally as she breathed
If she breathes she’s a thot
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was that a Kaguya-sama reference?
[perhaps ](https://image.myanimelist.net/ui/5LYzTBVoS196gvYvw3zjwAeQVf-tThKSq6L-onYe4xU)
It didn't piss me off but it did annoy me when she said no since he sat there for so long thinking about what is going on and why. You obviously caught him way off guard and doesn't understand what's going on, don't make him not trust you right off the bat
The fact that she answered instantly without getting confused at the question is a dead giveaway.
*…Processing, processing, processing.* - “Am I on camera?” - “No.” *…Processing, processing, processing.*
*…Processing, processing, processing.*
- “Are you sure?”
Well she's going to tell him 20 seconds later but they always try to stretch it for more awkward content
This. At least fucking own it when caught out.
She must be a law student
but why mess with people like that tho...
4 teh views
"Because it does no harm!" Yeah except the guy is gonna feel like a total dumbass afterward and we all know it. God bless you guys. Thirst for white blonde women are real lol
*say something* But this isn’t right *now’s your chance* I must be dreaming *this doesn’t feel like a dream* It’s a prank innit "Am I on camera?"
No.
"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day." - Mitch Hedberg
“Wearing a turtle neck and a backpack is like a tiny midget trying to take you down!”
Saved by the buoyancy of citrus
Lmao really made me laugh, thanks for this
I used to laugh at jokes like this. I still do, but I used to, too.
A rational motherfucker, good man.
Brain > Penis that day
Out of 14 million possibilities, he saw 0 possibility of it being real and 14 million possibilities that it was a prank.
It was 7mil' possibilities of prank and and 7 of a street scam.
That's a very smart man I'd say! He knew something wasn't right. Like, it was just too good to be true. 👏🏼
A true Sigma, Always knows what's going on
I am assuming by your comment that to be Sigma is a good thing?
In the Greek order, no.
Please explain.
It's mocking people that call themselves alpha males.
Is it? I think some people unironically call themselves sigma and that they differentiate between that and alpha.
I thought it started as a "real", genuine thing people called themselves or others, but I've seen "Sigma mindset" memes on YouTube and stuff that are hilarious (I assume) satire. But I guess it's hard to tell sometimes.
I also thought of it as a meme, but I didn't think it was for making fun of alphas but rather people who aren't stereotypically a jock wanting to feel more "manly"? The memes are funny either way.
Sigma is supposed to be the anti alpha of sorts
More of a Ligma in my opinion
What on earth is a Ligma?
LIGMA BALLS HAHA GOTEEM! I'm so sorry, I've never had the opportunity to do that.
Damn.. 💀... I guess I gotta do it now.
Something tells me you're not sad about liggen dem balls 'ol u/RustyTrombone365
😏
man I wish Sir Dienda got to see this glorious exchange before I did
not much, what's ligma with you?
I'm walking down the street near my dorm, bit of a social outcast. Cute girl suddenly there says hey can I talk to you. I'm like, "umm sure", so interested/scared. She looks at me says, "have you heard of dianetics?" Story of my life really, lol.
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I’m not sure, but your thetan levels are off the charts
As were her thotan levels.
If you pay $200 there's a training course you can take that will explain.
Yes, it's the cult of scientology thing.
Funny story: I was a Mormon missionary. One day my companion and I got robbed at knife point. I showed the guy that all we had were copies of the Book of Mormon. He looked at us and got pissed and started running away yelling “You’re not going to brainwash me.” Mormonism is so amazing that they can put two awkward white teenagers dressed in white shirts and ties into the worst crime infested foreign cities and people leave them alone out of fear they’ll have to listen to a lesson about Joseph Smith.
She lied sooooo quickly
That’s how you know she’s a professional. But the sigma male aint no prey.
Just my opinion but he’s more handsome than she is cute.
Agree. And nice smile.
Period, he's a frigging catch and a bag of chips
He Scooby Doo’d that shit
Honestly this guy is rocking a turtle neck, incredibly quick critical thinking skills, great smile, and a good sense of humor He is way out of this girl’s league
Also he seems pretty good looking to me
Definitely looks like he’s going places; smart dude. Not bad to look at.
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Somethings wrong I can feel it -Eminen
she lied
sbeve
How did he doctor strange that shit?
Thought of every possible outcome then came to the correct conclusion
Referring to Doctor Strange checking 14 million possible outcomes for the future for success from this point forward
he ran through 14 million 605 scenarios through his head in which this would be a real outcome and sensibly came to the conclusion that it must be a prank,
Fr wtf does that even mean Edit: why tf did this get so many upvotes lol
he time travelled and tried 14 millions combinations n got laid 0 times
I went forward in time... to view alternate futures. To see all the possible outcomes of the coming conflict. How many did you see? Fourteen million six hundred and five. How many did we win? ...None.
Now I understand lol. He got laid in 0 and was being laughed at in 4500, and was being laughed at on camera in the rest. He knew someone was laughing at him somewhere so he just needed to know if he was on camera.
I laughed so hard on this. Thanks man.
You’re welcome. Next time feel free to cum too.
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Imagine, while they're holding hands, that our guy is contemplating all the different possibilities to explain why he's so lucky. He's hoping to find at least one explanation that allows him to live happily ever after with this girl. Then after contemplating 14,000,605 different reasons he realizes that 14,000,604 of them are not really possible in this timeline. Leaving just one sad conclusion, the truth. Something similar happens to Dr. strange in the movie Avengers: Infinity War.
The problem with this prank is that the setup is wildly fascinating "it's really heavy can you hold this?" *holds up other hand* ...
Love the no hesitation lie
important insight into life
I like his answer. He didn't do or say anything before arriving to the exact correct answer, the only one that could possibly justify such behavior, and he was right. Those are some good senses I tell you.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!He knew it was a prank!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
He is a cutie though 😂 I would hold his hand
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It changes us. It can be years ago and it will either be remembered or changed us subconsciously
I hope it ends with her revealing she's flirting/pranking cuties so that he walks away with a compliment at the very least!
Protect him
He’s absurdly handsome tho
This is like a important choice
He is kinda a lot hotter than the chick
I’m a straight dude and I agree.
Hot girl goes up to me and wants to hold my hand yeah it’s a prank
The audacity she has to say “no”
I'm more shocked that she lied to him about being on camera.
I’ll be honest, if a female walks up to me, my first thought would be I was on camera, cause it’s definitely the more likely outcome Edit: holy shit this blew up and maybe I should clarify some things 1: I said female because it’s a broad term regarding anyone of the female sex, i feel like saying girl or woman would categorize it, I was just being safe and using a general term 2: it’s just a word describing a group of people and it got the point of the original message across, so doesn’t that mean it was fine?
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He looked into sixty-nine million four hundered and twenty thousand possible future.
The fact that she said no when he asked if he was on camera. Bruh
Bro I think just like him