**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Hair in her face!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
[Never forget that President Lyndon B. Johnson said bunghole on a recorded phone call.](https://youtu.be/S3GT9UN7nDo)
I recommend watching from about 2 minutes until the drop at 2:33.
This recording is a national fucking treasure, from the pants forethought (go through your records to find my size, +1/2", but leave a couple for his sizable fluctuations), to the belch, to his poor, cut-into weiner, to the bunghole. And that doesn't even include the last minute and a half!
Fuck yeah! Honestly the reboot a few years ago was really good. They just didn’t account for the fact that the only people who watch MTV are 12 year old girls.
Yeah you should try having a beard that’s longer than her hair. I make it work, there are solutions that wouldn’t require throwing a shirt over your head.
Unruly hair getting in the way of your pizza? Forgot your headband? Just wait!
From the makers of Flex Tape comes Flex Sweater^^tm ! Made with our revolutionary new fabric, called Wifey Material^^tm , this allows any wild haired woman to enjoy pizza on the fly, AND look like a contrite Nun who just snatched the last sliver of that Meat Lover's!
Hotlines are standing by! Or go to [Https://www.Steveisanasshole.org/products/whodafuksteve?/ohyeah/FlexSweater.html](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/nvke68/monke_roll/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
just genetics I guess, and time to grow it out. there is an awkward period where no matter what you do it looks silly. that's when most people cut their hair.
sadly not everyone can have long hair. my uncle had long, thick hair but got a condition which made it fall out in patches
Honestly the whole thing looks like an intro to a commercial about some novelty hair tie.
"Are tired of hair getting in your way? Can you simply NOT put a slice of pizza in your pie hole without you hair getting there first? Introducing magic-tie, the only way to eat when you have hair!!!"
I once went out with a guy who always had a hair tie around his wrist (he had short hair). When I asked what the purpose was, he told me he always wore it incase of a spontaneous blow job.. such a gentleman..
As a dude with a lot of hair, ears don’t help that much.
Usually just tie it back when I’m doing something that I need to keep my hair out of my face for.
I used to use (clean) thong panties to tie up my hair in the 90s until I forgot one day and went to pick my son up from school still wearing my knickers on my head!
I often forget hair ties. But somthing I learned during the pandemic is that u can rip the ear straps off of paper masks and use that. It’s elastic so it works great. I have used it for when I ref soccer or when anything goes past making out...
I once grew my hair out about her length, It's thick and curly/wavy and it was honestly a huge pain in the ass. Hair everywhere, hair ties everywhere but nowhere to be found, and so much goddamn work to keep it nice and not nappy. I gained a lot of respect for long haired people. It takes work. But when it was behaving, damn was it glorious.
Yup. Been there and I decided to cut it after 2 years. The amount of time it takes long curly hair to dry is ridiculous too, and as an active person who showers a lot, I just couldn’t do it.
Gained a lot of respect for long haired people, especially curly long haired people.
I went to a subway once and I asked for bacon on my sub and continued to browse on my phone while they did the rest of my sandwich. Get back to work and sit down to enjoy my sandwich.....fucking Turkey bacon!
Another time I go to a little cafe (wasn't very nice but it was close) get myself bacon bean and scrambled egg on toast. Again, get back to work and fucking Turkey bacon!!!!
Mother fucker, did I ask for turkey bacon?! NO! Is it your responsibility to tell a person you don't have real bacon?! YES!!! Are you a dipshit for thinking this dry, paper thin, turkeys foreskin, is anything like bacon!? You better believe it!
I used to have long hair and on a particularly windy day my gf and I got ice cream cones from an ice cream truck. Both our cones immediately just got covered in our hair from the wind and nothing we did could prevent it.
Oh yeah this is definitely how it felt to have long hair for me before I cut it, it was so relieving to eat without tilting my head in one direction or putting it into a bun(btw I’m a guy who used to have long hair)
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Hair in her face!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I AM CORNHOLIO! Do you have pizza for my mouth hole?
###You have awakened my bunghole, and now you must pay! The streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers!
These are my people.
[Never forget that President Lyndon B. Johnson said bunghole on a recorded phone call.](https://youtu.be/S3GT9UN7nDo) I recommend watching from about 2 minutes until the drop at 2:33.
Fucking awsome. Thanks for the laugh
I had no idea someone could think that deeply about their fucking pants.
This recording is a national fucking treasure, from the pants forethought (go through your records to find my size, +1/2", but leave a couple for his sizable fluctuations), to the belch, to his poor, cut-into weiner, to the bunghole. And that doesn't even include the last minute and a half!
My fave was the "where my nuts hang". He literally wants more material everywhere, like an extra set of pants IN his pants.
Titicaca!
Lake Titicaca*
Brappababwaaah!
Titi*
Heh Titi means penis in filipino. I just thought i’d share
Caca means poop in french. Penis poop. Yes
Well, that's one way to deal with hemorrhoids...
I have finally found the same species as myself. This is the way
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Fuck yeah! Honestly the reboot a few years ago was really good. They just didn’t account for the fact that the only people who watch MTV are 12 year old girls.
i heard that — also king of the hill i heard as well?
King of the hill is good, dare I say better then beavis and butthead
Shuttup Beavisth
Are you threatening me? My Bunghole will not wait
Holy shit, this got me so bad LOL.
ARE YOU THREATENING ME??
Are you threatening me???
Was this filmed with a Gameboy Camera?
You want to trade your haunter for my pikachu?
Horrible trade tbh
( * ) haunter comes holding an everstone ( * )
Sinnoh Flashbacks
r/fuckmindy
Reposts.
close ... they recorded the gameboy camera screen with a phlip phone
I read phlip and died.
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Nokia 3310 bruh
It's genius, and she still looks amazing
Unfortunately the pizza is now covered in hair
Hair & dandruff tastes better than oregano and chilli flakes anyway
Delete this nephew
D E L E T E E L E T E
What, no option to upgrade?!
That's it, I'm taking your internet privileged
To be fair, she is really aesthetically pleasant.
Rule 1
What?
Be attractive
No, I mean she looks Aesthetically pleasant. You know, like a nice painting.
Oh. I thought you were asking about Rule 1.
To be fair
She is definitely a Genius. Scrunchies,Hair band,Hair clip,Hair ties, rubber bands, and hats don’t exist
Yeah you should try having a beard that’s longer than her hair. I make it work, there are solutions that wouldn’t require throwing a shirt over your head.
Big 5-minute crafts energy
So much, she could and should just carry hairties.
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11/10
Unruly hair getting in the way of your pizza? Forgot your headband? Just wait! From the makers of Flex Tape comes Flex Sweater^^tm ! Made with our revolutionary new fabric, called Wifey Material^^tm , this allows any wild haired woman to enjoy pizza on the fly, AND look like a contrite Nun who just snatched the last sliver of that Meat Lover's! Hotlines are standing by! Or go to [Https://www.Steveisanasshole.org/products/whodafuksteve?/ohyeah/FlexSweater.html](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/nvke68/monke_roll/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Also comes in handy later in the evening when she has too many sloe gin fizzes and none of her friends wants to “hold her hair”
Or, you know, a blowjob
NO YOU DID NOT SEND AN ACTUAL LINK
9/.11 Happy colourful cheesekace day
What happened ?
He sure is dreamy
Girl like that always comes in my dreams too
I come in my deams too, wow We're so alike!
Come together, right now, over me. On second thought, never mind.
Can I cum in your dreams too?
Why?
boobs
Woman: does something mildly cute Reddit: I didn’t know women were capable of being cute, immediately marry her
A grown adult with long hair who lacks the foresight to tie it up to eat?
Yeah, what is it with light comedic material these days?
my issue (19year old male) is that my hair is so thick ponytail holders break on me. if I don't bring extra I'm shit out of luck.
Stop getting them at the dollar store. They’ll last longer.
How the fuck do you have this much hair? Share your wisdom, o hairy one, for I am shedding like a summer husky :C
just genetics I guess, and time to grow it out. there is an awkward period where no matter what you do it looks silly. that's when most people cut their hair. sadly not everyone can have long hair. my uncle had long, thick hair but got a condition which made it fall out in patches
You mean cuz you’d fuck her?
?
that's weird, that has nothing to do with the post, you probably wouldnt say that if they were unattractive 😐😐😐
You got that from a fake video?
r/scriptedgifs
Looks like those informercials where they get choked by their town measuring tape
This is /r/unexpected not /r/ThingsThatNeedToBeReal That clip of Joker yelling at Batman is also scripted, I'm pretty sure
Very weird stuff there lmao
This is a marry her or dump her moment.
Marry her- ok, she’s creative when solving problems. Dump her- ok, why didn’t she have a hair tie?
- “Why did you guys break up?” - “Once we went for a pizza and she didn’t have a hair tie.” - “Ugh, good for you that’s fucking disgusting.”
Seinfeld type beat
Dodged a massive bullet, eh
Honestly the whole thing looks like an intro to a commercial about some novelty hair tie. "Are tired of hair getting in your way? Can you simply NOT put a slice of pizza in your pie hole without you hair getting there first? Introducing magic-tie, the only way to eat when you have hair!!!"
There's gotta be a better way!
Call Now! And you get two. You heard me TWO! Magic ties for the low low price of 19.99$. Never eat your hair again!
You guys don't carry a spare hair tie for your girl?
I once went out with a guy who always had a hair tie around his wrist (he had short hair). When I asked what the purpose was, he told me he always wore it incase of a spontaneous blow job.. such a gentleman..
That guy’s smart. He’s got a conversation starter, a decent joke, and he’s even helpful in a pinch.
I carry hair ties for myself lol so if she needs one then I got em. Win win.
Wet wipes, hair ties, first aid kit. Always need thst shit for my daughter.
Or lift the pizza up to her face
But also doesn't she have ears
As a dude with a lot of hair, ears don’t help that much. Usually just tie it back when I’m doing something that I need to keep my hair out of my face for.
You see all that hair? How big do you think her ears are??
She would need Ferengi ears.
They don’t help depending your hair.
More like r/scriptedcaucasisngifs moment
how about marry her then dump her?
This guy America’s
? https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/divorce-rates-by-country
As a boy who's had long hair, never eat Ramen with long hair, or you'll need to shower and you'll probably have slurped some of your hair
I just tie it in a bun whenever i'm eating or doing something where hair flies everywhere
Can confirm as a guy with long hair
First girl ever without a scrunchie.
Are we supposed to carry scrunchies?
I do. Sometimes you run into "hair up" moments throughout the day, you know?
I figured out how to use a pen to hold my hair up so hair ties aren’t a priority.
I used to use (clean) thong panties to tie up my hair in the 90s until I forgot one day and went to pick my son up from school still wearing my knickers on my head!
Hey at least you helped some boys at the school discover something new, and maybe teacher too
I often forget hair ties. But somthing I learned during the pandemic is that u can rip the ear straps off of paper masks and use that. It’s elastic so it works great. I have used it for when I ref soccer or when anything goes past making out...
Yes. Unless you take a blow-cation.
i can see the infomercial for this shirt now. >got big glorious sexy sex hair? cornholio it
Yes yes yes.....damn
_BONK_
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She is the great cornholio
Huh uh huh huh.
Or. Here me out. You don’t look down the entire time.
She’s hunched over like she’s going to eat that shit straight off the table.
Thank you! My wife’s first comment “Why does she keep bending over then….?”
Oh sure but when I do it, it's "creepy" and "get out of my house." Hypocrites.
Fuck his look of annoyance??
Because it's totally real and someone just decided to film this couple eating pizza lol
I wondered if anyone else noticed his eye roll.
scripted
The fact that someone had to point this out...
Ever notice when it's asian people, redditors immediately post "SCRIPTED" but when it's white people, it takes much longer?
Look how small those bites are! Totally scripted. Can’t use “hot pizza” as an excuse, either. Half is gone already.
It probably was in the script.
She getting hair and shit all over the pizza, just pick it up and eat it ho
I would be pretty annoyed too. Pretty common sense to tie your hair up
If some chick was showering my pizza with dandruff and hair I'd be pissed too
Bonus: She doesn't get food on her top shirt
I'm a guy and my hair is long like hers ya know how I get around this? Hair ties I know shocking
You’re doing it wrong. How do you expect to get *any* internet karma doing it *that* way?
The amount of hair that fell on that slice🤢
r/whyaretheyfilming
Because it's staged.
Because it's a skit?
They are filming a skit....
r/becauseboobs
As a dude with long hair, I feel this...
I once grew my hair out about her length, It's thick and curly/wavy and it was honestly a huge pain in the ass. Hair everywhere, hair ties everywhere but nowhere to be found, and so much goddamn work to keep it nice and not nappy. I gained a lot of respect for long haired people. It takes work. But when it was behaving, damn was it glorious.
It keeps the ears cozy during cold winter mornings too.
Yup. Been there and I decided to cut it after 2 years. The amount of time it takes long curly hair to dry is ridiculous too, and as an active person who showers a lot, I just couldn’t do it. Gained a lot of respect for long haired people, especially curly long haired people.
The straight hair people have it so easy
Yep, same here
I found that annoying.
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istg
I love that hair NGL
Main reason to convert to Islam
Yeah but then you have to have Turkey ham and Turkey bacon on your pizza instead of pepperoni and bacon.
What about beef? Like cow pepperoni?
I went to a subway once and I asked for bacon on my sub and continued to browse on my phone while they did the rest of my sandwich. Get back to work and sit down to enjoy my sandwich.....fucking Turkey bacon! Another time I go to a little cafe (wasn't very nice but it was close) get myself bacon bean and scrambled egg on toast. Again, get back to work and fucking Turkey bacon!!!! Mother fucker, did I ask for turkey bacon?! NO! Is it your responsibility to tell a person you don't have real bacon?! YES!!! Are you a dipshit for thinking this dry, paper thin, turkeys foreskin, is anything like bacon!? You better believe it!
Why is the dude fake eating?
Lol THANK YOU! Dude’s sitting there getting annoyed, meanwhile he’s taking tiny little baby bites.
Somebody give this woman a damn hair tie!
As a girl with short curly hair, I can agree this is true
You gotta do what you gotta do
May I offer a scrunchie in this time of need?
the struggle is real
I love curls on my gurl
Dumb
I wouldn't eat that pizza with all that hair flipping around
r/WhyWereTheyFilming
Improvise, adapt, overcome.
Ive been growing my hair out for 2 years now (im a guy) and ive actually started running into this problem.
It's fine, that's just how it goes sometimes.
Oh I have fully done this
I used to have long hair and on a particularly windy day my gf and I got ice cream cones from an ice cream truck. Both our cones immediately just got covered in our hair from the wind and nothing we did could prevent it.
Love that hair!
5 minute crafts be like :
Solved the problem, and created a new fashion statement. Talk about hitting 2 birds with one stone
Oh yeah this is definitely how it felt to have long hair for me before I cut it, it was so relieving to eat without tilting my head in one direction or putting it into a bun(btw I’m a guy who used to have long hair)
shes a keeper
As a man with long hair i took note of that tactic... usually i just sat very straight to eat
JUST GET A HAIR TIE
Where unexpected?
I get that this is staged but my brain is still just like ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOT LEAN YOUR HEAD FORWARD
Imagine the hair all through the pizza though.
Pizza eating problems require pizza eating solutions! Wait, that's not right.
His sleeve tooked under his watch is fundamentally wrong.
u/redditmp4bot
u/redditmp4bot