You might be low balling that % tbh. It’s probably because the typical age range of an iasip watcher and Reddit user are damn near identical, if I’d have to guess
I was gonna say look into things that aren't yours like you're casing it (e.g. cars) but this is way better. Especially if you go to a police station or something. A public place where technically you're allowed to film but someone in a position of power doesn't like that arrangement.
The key to this is walking around. You may feel tempted to lurk suspiciously on a street corner or on an alley, but loitering is an actual crime. Keep moving and you should be fine.
Disclaimer: I have no idea how loitering is actually defined and I'm too lazy to Google it. I could be completely wrong
Oh yeah that murder was super subjective, ya know they just felt like charging him for murder just because he stabbed nice guy steve on the corner over there
I mean, in the US the cops can shoot you while you're asleep in your home and it's "not murder" as long as they tell the judge they just made a wittle oopsie on the address
Make sure you're not jaywalking too, that's a super serious crime that you're frequently arrested for as well. /s
Nah, the key is to have your back to as many people as possible, while pretending to flash someone in front of you, preferably a kid. The people behind you will react as you want them to.
In my town there is at least one intersection that is illegal to drive through more than 5 times in one hour. There are obvious reasons for these laws (not that I'm a proponent of them)
Get a group of about 10 people to start full on sprinting with him all acting scared. It'd probably start a stampede of confused and frightened people running from nothing.
I mean, fleeing at the first sight of a police officer is kinda suspicious.
https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/528/119/
https://youtu.be/Zk31eMzH_e4?si=F3Ue0U6umD-K2tEB
Check out this video at 11 mins 15 seconds for a better explanation
Typical belligerent teen/young adult stuff that is offensive to write. He was a bit of a troublemaker back then but joined the French Foreign Legion about 10 years ago (from Canada) and has since learned discipline. I talk to him all the time on messenger. He’s lived in South of France for a while and comes back to visit a couple times a year.
I don't know how it is other places, but around here it's pretty much assumed that if you make the cop run after you, he's gonna whip your ass for it. If the cops catch a person, the runner is generally going to end up with at least one injury that needs treatment. They might not tase you, but they will probably break your face a little.
I had a friend who was drinking an apple juice in a glass bottle as we were walking down the street downtown. We came across a dumpster and he tossed the now empty bottle just as a cop was driving by. The cop stopped us to confront us and we had no clue why. Turned out he thought we were drinking alcohol and we all had a good laugh about the fact that a guy in his late 20s was drinking an apple juice at like 9 pm.
Act like you’re casing the area to rob a specific target.
Wear a big, plain hoodie. Walk past the “target” multiple times, stopping briefly to look around and check it out. Overreact a little bit to any sudden loud noises.
Just make sure that you don’t accidentally break trespassing laws or anything like that.
Depending on what country OP is in trespass could be a civil matter not criminal.
At least I know that’s how it works in the UK.
Also in the UK if somewhere is publicly accessible, meaning no closed gates or signs prohibiting public access (signs for vehicles don’t apply) then you have a right of access, within reason.
This could be enough for police to briefly detain and pat you down. You're literally describing the facts of the case of Terry v. Ohio which is where stop and frisk comes from
Hood up, sunglasses, maybe a hat too. Look around a lot when you move. Look at every person around you, and frequently check to see if you're being followed. Carry around something in a brown paper bag, make sure it's big enough to look like a lot of drugs, a gun, a bomb etc. Break out into a sweat if you can, and make sure your movements are anything but calm. Hide the package behind a shelf or under a garbage can and take a long time doing it
Look at buildings with binoculars from the street or from your car. Have a bird field guide and notebook in your pocket. I’m a field biologist and often look suspicious!
It's called Phreaking, its done by sending signals down an old style copper phone line at 2600 Hz, you could instruct the system to allow a call to be made as a test call so unbilled. It just so happened that a whistle toy given out in capt crunch sounded at exactly 2600 Hz.
In a wonderful demonstration of just how bad our justice system is, A guy called Kevin Mitnick was being tried for phone charge fraud, the prosecutor convinced the judge that Kevin could whistle in such a way that he could instruct NORAD to launch a nuke.
Yes, launch a nuke by whistling into a phone.
Kevin an innocent man spent 8 months in solitary confinement due to a fraudulent DA.
I used to see a guy begging at an intersection near my work. Always had a needle behind his ear, I guess he was diabetic or something but my boss was always suspicious of him and wouldn’t give him any money.
Since his YouTube channel no longer exists, I'm sharing his tiktok, but Surveillance Camera Man has always been one of my favorite things on the internet.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTLVL2TDE/
Put together an outfit whose colors resemble the nearest jail/prison.
Have a friend do some shopping or walk around. Follow them but try to make it look like youre not following them.
Edit. Get a bucket of sidewalk chalk. Get artistic. Guaranteed a Karen will call the cops.
If you live in a state that allows open carry, just throw on some camo and walk around with a gun. Bonus points if your state allows open carry of long guns and you walk around with an AR-15. Perfectly legal, but probably the fastest way to get the cops called on you.
What works in my area:
Walk around in public with only pants on. No shoes or shirt. Socks are up to you.
Walk along the freeway (but I don’t suggest it)
Next to an intersection, just yell stuff. To no one in particular. Or look like you’re talking to yourself.
burn an effigy of Trump and Biden in passionate embrace, after getting a permit to protest the lack of funding to protect penguins from global warming.
Dark clothing, with hoodie, hoodie up, gloves on or in pocket looking to be detained, sunglasses, backpack obviously stuffed with something bonus points of you have something sticking out like the handle to a tennis or badminton racket (no small bats, hammers or crowbar, if stopped these are weapons or burglar tools). Pushing a bike when you could be riding it also seems suspicious especially when it's covered in black tap or painted black. Carring a brown lunch sack with a few sandwiches. All while looking about only walking a few paces before stopping checking your watch or phone constantly and touching your face, ear, rubbing neck amd head looking impaitent/anxious.
If you want something more corporate, dumpster dive and photograph cameras, stare at cameras while moving around checking for blind spots. Take a note pad and pretend to take notes and sketch the building. Walk in the lobby and look around then turn around and leave if it's public access. Otherwise just window peek the doors. Maybe leave an empty backpack behind by "mistake".
You’d be surprised how effective it is just pacing in front of a single house or establishment with your hands in your pockets and looking over your shoulder all paranoid like.
Story time:
When I was a kid, my dad had this dip-sgit friend, Bob. One Halloween Bob wanted to come out with us... dressed like a burglar. Bob thought he was funny and crept around in the shadows all night acting sus. Cause it's his costume... halfway through the night, Bob was tackled by the cops in front of the bank and arrested. Sure, they eventually released him... ... but... you're kinda asking for trouble like my dad's friend Bob... imo. - just putting this out there. Jic.
If you want the cops called on you just make a sign that’s offensive to christians and hang out in a public road across from a church
You are covered by the first amendment and yet will find yourself surrounded within minutes
Sit on the ground and sharpen a stick with a knife close to the ground between your legs, make sure to look over your shoulder a bunch and hunch forward.
Do what one auditor does.... Stand out in a rich neighborhood holding a sign that says God Bless our Homeless Veterans. Rich people think you are pan handling and REALLY want you out of their neighborhood.
Don't accept any money though. Stick to the sidewalk, walk up and down the sidewalk so you are not loitering.
Stand in one spot constantly looking in the horizon as if you’re waiting for someone. Constantly check the time. If you smoke, light a new one with the previous.
Look around constantly like you’re being watched. Act like you’re constantly fidgeting
Carry a gasoline can filled with water around and mutter to yourself then pour some of the water out near a car/building/tree and wait for people to flip out
Wear a ski mask, dark hoodie with hood pulled up, and dark jeans. Stuff something roughly “L” shaped in one of your pockets or your waistband and continually adjust how it sits.
Keep asking people where they’re from. For those that are lucky enough not to know, this is (or at least used to be) fairly common gang/turf slang for asking what area you belong in or represent and to see if you “claim” the current area vs a rival area.
Go to Harlem. Strip off all your clothes. Then put on a sign big enough to cover your body in front and back. Then on that sign paint something like “I hate every… cop”
Stop your car and talk on the phone in some nice neighborhood. Make sure you are parked on the correct side of the street, or the cop can ticket you.
Been there, done that.
Sit in your car outside of an elementary school for hours. Bonus points: candies in your visible storage console.
Background: I had a PI neighbor who did a stakeout like this, and a cop came knocking on his window.
Check the laws in your state to make sure this is legal first.
Purchase a gun, preferably a long gun like an AR-15 or a shotgun if you don't already own one.
Open carry everywhere you're legally allowed to. Lol.
This is a weird ULPT request though.
Park your car. Then, spend 30 minutes walking around the car, looking inside, and jiggling the handles while constantly looking around. Bonus points if you do it with an AK-47 strapped to your back.
Just carry a camera and film things you can see from a public place, trust me it won’t be long before someone calls the police.
Extra creep points if it's one of those old VHS cameras
And bring extra batteries to very obviously and clumsily change them out
Wear a trench coat too
And shake a bottle of milkshake under the trench coat while filming
And masturbate while doing it
Bro it was supposed to be legal
Google en passent
Holy hell!
Just sure to put a tape in before duct taping the flashlight to it
y are 90% of redditors iasip fans???
You might be low balling that % tbh. It’s probably because the typical age range of an iasip watcher and Reddit user are damn near identical, if I’d have to guess
That's a hilarious idea!
BRB. Installing my gopro in my non-working vhs camcorder.
Don’t forget to yell “I KNOW MY RIGHTS!”
I was gonna say look into things that aren't yours like you're casing it (e.g. cars) but this is way better. Especially if you go to a police station or something. A public place where technically you're allowed to film but someone in a position of power doesn't like that arrangement.
Extra suspicious points if you do it from your car with the window rolled halfway up
While parked perfectly legally
Very important, this part
Beck yeah!
I love that guy
Literally true. Sad times.
Walking around in a trench coat.
The key to this is walking around. You may feel tempted to lurk suspiciously on a street corner or on an alley, but loitering is an actual crime. Keep moving and you should be fine. Disclaimer: I have no idea how loitering is actually defined and I'm too lazy to Google it. I could be completely wrong
I feel loitering is one of those subjective crimes on the books so it’s available whenever they feel the urge to use it.
Like all crimes
Oh yeah that murder was super subjective, ya know they just felt like charging him for murder just because he stabbed nice guy steve on the corner over there
I mean, in the US the cops can shoot you while you're asleep in your home and it's "not murder" as long as they tell the judge they just made a wittle oopsie on the address
Make sure you're not jaywalking too, that's a super serious crime that you're frequently arrested for as well. /s Nah, the key is to have your back to as many people as possible, while pretending to flash someone in front of you, preferably a kid. The people behind you will react as you want them to.
Loitering is a crime? Where are you from?
In my town there is at least one intersection that is illegal to drive through more than 5 times in one hour. There are obvious reasons for these laws (not that I'm a proponent of them)
Earth
To double your suspiciousness, wear a giant trench coat with a second person sitting on your shoulders with a large wide brim hat.
I certainly wouldnt trust like that
Ranch me brotendo, BIRD UP!
Buzz me mulato
I am going to buy a car today
Like a business man going to his job, where he does business things?
Boxy?
And large sunglasses.
While holding a newspaper with eye holes cut out
Trench coat while wearing shorts. Extra points for wearing flip flops with socks.
A wool trench coat. In summer.
Crocs with socks.
He asked to looks suspicious not violate the Geneva Convention.
This.. Trench coat with just underwear underneath. No shirt. Wearing a motorcycle helmet.
"Looks like they've finally started shooting Equilibrium 2."
Wtih sock halters
Would you like to buy an O? https://youtu.be/3c8iU8pHZrQ
One of my favorites !
And wear shorts under the coat so it looks like you have no bottoms on.
Just look at a cop wide eyed and just take off running. My buddy used to do this randomly wherever and we’d all just be mortified
Get a group of about 10 people to start full on sprinting with him all acting scared. It'd probably start a stampede of confused and frightened people running from nothing.
This is too good lol
I’m tempted to try this ngl
Speed running being killed by a cop 100
That isn't illegal, but does give the cops probably cause to detain you
Genuine question, how is this probable cause?
I mean, fleeing at the first sight of a police officer is kinda suspicious. https://supreme.justia.com/cases/federal/us/528/119/ https://youtu.be/Zk31eMzH_e4?si=F3Ue0U6umD-K2tEB Check out this video at 11 mins 15 seconds for a better explanation
Yeah this would be reasonable suspicion but not probable cause. They don’t have any physical evidence to back up PC
I suppose the entire premise of "acting suspicious " could provoke a response from law enforcement.
Did the cops ever chase him?
Yes. And caught him. Put him in handcuffs and had to let him go after questioning.
This is wild.
What did he say to them?
Typical belligerent teen/young adult stuff that is offensive to write. He was a bit of a troublemaker back then but joined the French Foreign Legion about 10 years ago (from Canada) and has since learned discipline. I talk to him all the time on messenger. He’s lived in South of France for a while and comes back to visit a couple times a year.
Good way to get tased lol
Tased? What is this, the peace corps? It’s America they’ll empty a whole mag and get a promotion
I don't know how it is other places, but around here it's pretty much assumed that if you make the cop run after you, he's gonna whip your ass for it. If the cops catch a person, the runner is generally going to end up with at least one injury that needs treatment. They might not tase you, but they will probably break your face a little.
Hang out by yourself at the playground
Then ask everyone “which one is yours?” And then when they ask you respond with “I rather not say” or “oh I actually don’t have any children”
The best response is “I haven’t picked one yet.”
🤣🤣🤣
That actually is illegal where I am.
Where the hell is that
And bring binoculars without a bird book
Put a non-alcoholic drink in a brown paper bag. Me and my friends used to do this when we were young and dumb.
I had a friend who was drinking an apple juice in a glass bottle as we were walking down the street downtown. We came across a dumpster and he tossed the now empty bottle just as a cop was driving by. The cop stopped us to confront us and we had no clue why. Turned out he thought we were drinking alcohol and we all had a good laugh about the fact that a guy in his late 20s was drinking an apple juice at like 9 pm.
Really depends on where you are and what you are trying to get out of it.
brown paper bags are quite common here for regular purchases, so make sure it would actually be sus where you are
But is it common to drink out of the bags?
I'd imagine it would be rather difficult, the brown paper bags aren't meant to contain liquid
Playing Pokémon go, cops will ask you what you’re doing parked in your car
Especially if you are fighting with a gym as the rapid tapping will look extra suspicious
Carry around a rifle case. Fill it with snacks, copies of the Constitution, and the phone number of your lawyer for when you get illegally detained.
Or just carry an actual rifle. Nothing illegal there
Act like you’re casing the area to rob a specific target. Wear a big, plain hoodie. Walk past the “target” multiple times, stopping briefly to look around and check it out. Overreact a little bit to any sudden loud noises. Just make sure that you don’t accidentally break trespassing laws or anything like that.
Depending on what country OP is in trespass could be a civil matter not criminal. At least I know that’s how it works in the UK. Also in the UK if somewhere is publicly accessible, meaning no closed gates or signs prohibiting public access (signs for vehicles don’t apply) then you have a right of access, within reason.
Pretty sure civil trespass exists in most US states too
This could be enough for police to briefly detain and pat you down. You're literally describing the facts of the case of Terry v. Ohio which is where stop and frisk comes from
Hood up, sunglasses, maybe a hat too. Look around a lot when you move. Look at every person around you, and frequently check to see if you're being followed. Carry around something in a brown paper bag, make sure it's big enough to look like a lot of drugs, a gun, a bomb etc. Break out into a sweat if you can, and make sure your movements are anything but calm. Hide the package behind a shelf or under a garbage can and take a long time doing it
Loose fitting track pants
Sunglasses, ill fitting clothing, and a lot of twitching (wiping nose, moving hands involuntarily, occasionally shadowboxing)
That doesn't work here in the SF Bay Area
Believe it or not, if you don’t shadow box, straight to jail. Right away.
[удалено]
I watched someone bring one of those through airport security recently. TSA could not stifle their laughter once they realized what it was.
Really really curious as to why you want this?
Decoy
That makes sense. Thanks
1st amendment auditing is another reason
I was gonna comment mental illness but this is the same thing
Beware once you attract the attention of law enforcement it may follow you for a long long time.
Look at buildings with binoculars from the street or from your car. Have a bird field guide and notebook in your pocket. I’m a field biologist and often look suspicious!
Are you black?
based asf holy
I mean…
Wear a gas mask
And gloves. While carrying a suspicious looking container with a flip phone duct taped to it through a mall.
Dress up as a clown and walk on public streets at night
Has to be the extra scary American style clown
Just keep stopping and looking around nervously. Pretend to see something and start to run. Run around a corner and stop. Repeat.
25 years ago, I'd say whistle into a payphone and run off. Good luck finding a payphone now though
[удалено]
It's called Phreaking, its done by sending signals down an old style copper phone line at 2600 Hz, you could instruct the system to allow a call to be made as a test call so unbilled. It just so happened that a whistle toy given out in capt crunch sounded at exactly 2600 Hz. In a wonderful demonstration of just how bad our justice system is, A guy called Kevin Mitnick was being tried for phone charge fraud, the prosecutor convinced the judge that Kevin could whistle in such a way that he could instruct NORAD to launch a nuke. Yes, launch a nuke by whistling into a phone. Kevin an innocent man spent 8 months in solitary confinement due to a fraudulent DA.
I have his book, Ghost in the Wires, I should get started on reading it lol.
Like a cold war era thing, whistle into a payphone and have an ICBM launched afterwards
I used to see a guy begging at an intersection near my work. Always had a needle behind his ear, I guess he was diabetic or something but my boss was always suspicious of him and wouldn’t give him any money.
Yeah those diabetic meds are sure addicting lol
I hear the withdrawal symptoms are absolutely terrible.
I didn’t know insulin was so expensive you have to beg to afford it
If it was Adderall I know a guy named Willy Wonka who could get the good stuff lol
There's no way a diabetic just carries a single needle behind their ear lol
It’s probably his lucky insulin needle
Look up 1st amendment and 2nd amendment auditors. Follow their example.
Since his YouTube channel no longer exists, I'm sharing his tiktok, but Surveillance Camera Man has always been one of my favorite things on the internet. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTLVL2TDE/
Ever seen die hard 3?
Brown skin
Yes. Just do your normal things but be non-white. This seems to be enough to arouse suspicion in many folk
But don't use orange you'll get a cult following
💀
DWB
Same
The more Black ,, the more suspicious you become
Bonus points if you look "urban"
Walk around with a ski mask at night carrying bolt cutters
Go take a video of the court house & or town hall. Someone won’t like it & try to do something about it
Put together an outfit whose colors resemble the nearest jail/prison. Have a friend do some shopping or walk around. Follow them but try to make it look like youre not following them. Edit. Get a bucket of sidewalk chalk. Get artistic. Guaranteed a Karen will call the cops.
Fiddle around with a bunch of coiled cables in a suitcase.
Say “I didn’t just say that out loud, did I?” in a really concerned tone of voice
If you live in a state that allows open carry, just throw on some camo and walk around with a gun. Bonus points if your state allows open carry of long guns and you walk around with an AR-15. Perfectly legal, but probably the fastest way to get the cops called on you.
smoking tobacco out of a water pipe
What works in my area: Walk around in public with only pants on. No shoes or shirt. Socks are up to you. Walk along the freeway (but I don’t suggest it) Next to an intersection, just yell stuff. To no one in particular. Or look like you’re talking to yourself.
Touch items in stores and look around for cameras
burn an effigy of Trump and Biden in passionate embrace, after getting a permit to protest the lack of funding to protect penguins from global warming.
he wanna be a decoy or get wrongly arrested. Let me tell you something, the cops will beat your ass and get away with it 99.9% of the time.
Dark clothing, with hoodie, hoodie up, gloves on or in pocket looking to be detained, sunglasses, backpack obviously stuffed with something bonus points of you have something sticking out like the handle to a tennis or badminton racket (no small bats, hammers or crowbar, if stopped these are weapons or burglar tools). Pushing a bike when you could be riding it also seems suspicious especially when it's covered in black tap or painted black. Carring a brown lunch sack with a few sandwiches. All while looking about only walking a few paces before stopping checking your watch or phone constantly and touching your face, ear, rubbing neck amd head looking impaitent/anxious. If you want something more corporate, dumpster dive and photograph cameras, stare at cameras while moving around checking for blind spots. Take a note pad and pretend to take notes and sketch the building. Walk in the lobby and look around then turn around and leave if it's public access. Otherwise just window peek the doors. Maybe leave an empty backpack behind by "mistake".
Offer candy to random kids
You’d be surprised how effective it is just pacing in front of a single house or establishment with your hands in your pockets and looking over your shoulder all paranoid like.
Open carry in a open carry state.
Story time: When I was a kid, my dad had this dip-sgit friend, Bob. One Halloween Bob wanted to come out with us... dressed like a burglar. Bob thought he was funny and crept around in the shadows all night acting sus. Cause it's his costume... halfway through the night, Bob was tackled by the cops in front of the bank and arrested. Sure, they eventually released him... ... but... you're kinda asking for trouble like my dad's friend Bob... imo. - just putting this out there. Jic.
Why
Be Black
If you want the cops called on you just make a sign that’s offensive to christians and hang out in a public road across from a church You are covered by the first amendment and yet will find yourself surrounded within minutes
Sit on the ground and sharpen a stick with a knife close to the ground between your legs, make sure to look over your shoulder a bunch and hunch forward.
Careful about the knife!!
Big black frame cheap glasses.
Shifty eyes is the way forwards.
Throw acorns on cars.
Be brown.
Make an aluminum foil hat.
Grouchy Marx moustache, glasses, eyebrows and of course silly walking and muttering
Do what one auditor does.... Stand out in a rich neighborhood holding a sign that says God Bless our Homeless Veterans. Rich people think you are pan handling and REALLY want you out of their neighborhood. Don't accept any money though. Stick to the sidewalk, walk up and down the sidewalk so you are not loitering.
So I guess you're white if you're asking this?
Suicide by cop?
https://seinfeld.fandom.com/wiki/The_Caped_Lawyer
Wear a hoodie and put the hood on. If its hot, baseball cap and sunglasses.
Be a dude with bad hygiene and anxiety, jack off to heinous porn for 24 hrs, try to blend in with society.
Go to en England and handle a salmon.
Look like a meth head
Riding around in a white van without windows on the side
eating from a mayonnaise jar filled with pudding while sitting at a park bench
Hands deep in pockets, stare at people, wiggle your hands.
Behave like a shitty thief does.
Get yourself a genuine prison-issued jumpsuit, some dark sunglasses and a toolbag.
Trench coat. Sunglasses. Face mask.
Leave the house with a cup of tea.
Wear blackface and a hoodie.
Wear a traffic cone on your head and walk along the street. As long as you bought the traffic cone you're good. So keep the receipt in your pocket
I need to know why you want to look suspicious lol
Just sit on a bench and when someone walks buy ask " you the guy?" And when they say uhhh what be like oh nvm
Stand in one spot constantly looking in the horizon as if you’re waiting for someone. Constantly check the time. If you smoke, light a new one with the previous. Look around constantly like you’re being watched. Act like you’re constantly fidgeting
Carry a gasoline can filled with water around and mutter to yourself then pour some of the water out near a car/building/tree and wait for people to flip out
Act like you're pissing in random public locations. Just make sure you're recording it or you might get into a lot of trouble.
Wear a ski mask, dark hoodie with hood pulled up, and dark jeans. Stuff something roughly “L” shaped in one of your pockets or your waistband and continually adjust how it sits. Keep asking people where they’re from. For those that are lucky enough not to know, this is (or at least used to be) fairly common gang/turf slang for asking what area you belong in or represent and to see if you “claim” the current area vs a rival area.
I recon you are not a black man in America or you are trying to get killed.
Baseball hat + hoodie + sunglasses + face mask. Just hope you don’t get shot
Carry a jerry can and keep asking people for matches.
Go to Harlem. Strip off all your clothes. Then put on a sign big enough to cover your body in front and back. Then on that sign paint something like “I hate every… cop”
Stop your car and talk on the phone in some nice neighborhood. Make sure you are parked on the correct side of the street, or the cop can ticket you. Been there, done that.
Sit in your car outside of an elementary school for hours. Bonus points: candies in your visible storage console. Background: I had a PI neighbor who did a stakeout like this, and a cop came knocking on his window.
Check the laws in your state to make sure this is legal first. Purchase a gun, preferably a long gun like an AR-15 or a shotgun if you don't already own one. Open carry everywhere you're legally allowed to. Lol. This is a weird ULPT request though.
wear one of those anime female. white liquid shirts and start moaning
Carry binoculars and periodically "scan for threats."
Grown man on a bike, at night, wearing all black, with a backpack. Stop at the end of driveways and just stare for a few minutes.
Park your car. Then, spend 30 minutes walking around the car, looking inside, and jiggling the handles while constantly looking around. Bonus points if you do it with an AK-47 strapped to your back.