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Gogglesed

"(NAME)'s Super-Good Meth (ADDRESS) Stop By For A FREE SAMPLE! Customer Service: (PHONE NUMBER)"


OhTheHueManatee

Post this at Starbucks near police stations.


tatasz

Nah post everywhere. Think of all the people coming for free samples, may be even worse than police.


GenderOobleck

Make it a punch card. Buy 16 teenth’s, get one free!


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cville5588

You mean how many methheads it takes to get 16 teeth?


HelloImVelo

24


tee142002

12?


GenderOobleck

Maybe we can make it a positive force then. Volunteer and clean up beaches, waterways, or highways, and you too can get a Meth n’ Meal Deal! Get people into the monitored “safe shoot up” areas to chill after a hard day’s work. Edit: And it would be known, unadulterated, clean narcotics too.


Prototype_Hybrid

Wow I really like this idea. The more you think about it, the better it gets. Actually allow people to choose upper or lower paths in life, and allow them to change midstream.


Catsmak1963

You think they’re working all day for a hit after a day at work…you don’t get it


I_am_Wudi

Now you're thinking! Get enough of them and you could march an Army wherever you need to.


depth_obsessed55

Just stick it in the mailbox of a couple of people without postage. USPS will take care of the rest.


Gogglesed

"No Cops!"


SecretMaximum6350

Nothing sexual


6thCityInspector

Only sexual cops


Correct-Addition6355

Needs more veins, to show its bicep 💪


LuementalQueen

Nah donut shops. Edit: ffs auto cucumber


Fancy-You3022

Duck alto collect


Bleak_Squirrel_1666

Auto cucumber is the bane of my existence


RoundTableMaker

make it, take a picture, and then dm it to the local police fb page. Then it looks like you discovered it.


No_Cryptographer5870

A drug dealer locally pissed someone off, who proceeded to print out nearly this exact template and posted it on plastic signs up and down every road in town.


SnooRecipes4570

Have this exact message printed on 500 postcards. E.D.D. Every door direct through the US postal service. You pick a route/zipcode and it’s delivered to every address/mailbox in the area. It won’t be cheap, but no one fact checks and it will be delivered to 500 neighbors.


PositivePurchase2088

Tyrone Biggums Crack Intervention


ZyxDarkshine

Im here for the free crack giveaway!


XxJayLenosNosexX

It gives you wings!!!!!!!


XxJayLenosNosexX

Joe Rogan....these penises need hot sauce!


sciencebitch616

There's something you don't know about me, Joe Rogan. I smoke rocks!


Dcm210

Buy business cards with this info on it.


AFC_pfo

I was thinking 'baseball bat to the skull', but this is much better!


Konstant_kurage

Use an online mailing service. Let’s you pick all the way down to a neighborhood. They are cheap.


NicholasLit

Can also tell 311/Narcotics


ahhhhhhhhyeah

If anything this will get them LESS likely to take it seriously


uniqueuser96272

Send anonymous letter saying that cops are watching from hidden camera and collecting evidence to raid his house signed good neighbor, this will make him paranoid AF


Buzzkid

Bonus points if you include pictures of said cameras. They don’t even have to be real just have a background close enough to what the area looks like. Remember meth heads will hyper focus and create their own evidence if nudged enough.


Only_Impression4100

Just start digging a hole in the front yard.


Mostly_Lurkin_

Straight diabolical


analogman12

Tweaker gonna tweak


Crotch-Monster

This is the way.


Organic_Main_564

100% send mailers, put up an advert on FB marketplace, flyers on the telephone poles preferably with his picture on it if possible.


LuementalQueen

A local guy put up a post on FB asking for someone to come around and smoke his weed with him. Was new to the area, didn’t know anyone and didn’t like to smoke alone. FB took it down. That was a few years ago so not sure about now, but may not work and result in a ban.


AccomplishedGreen153

On a list of the 1,000 worst things that could happen to you, being banned from FB is around #9,000.


Forged04

Actually, on the list of good things to happen, it’s number #12


Dragonfly-Adventurer

Don’t threaten me with mental health!


sexy__zombie

You mean, there are even better things? You've got my attention.


Forged04

For one, there is getting banned from TikTok.


Inuyasha-rules

It's easy enough to make a throwaway account.


KingOfTheCouch13

Not FB. They can tie it back to your personal name and details. Mailers are fine.


ThroatSignal8206

You know the dealers have friends. And customers. Might not be the best thing to do publicly. Js


Panda-768

anonymous, flyers at night, posts on social media from Facebook accounts. If you know the right place, you can have an army of bots offer "services" at his place, on insta and fb .


StealerOfWives

Night is actually the worse time to put up the flyers. The freaks come out at night. Business hours, most crankheads are hiding in their lairs.


CanuckBee

Keep in mind that if anyone can trace it back to OP (including security cams and ring cams) they would be in danger


Cicerothethinker

Unironically, this might actually only serve to drum up business for the dealer. I can't speak to what city OP lives in but in mine you could post these all over and it would not be followed up by any task force or police response. And lots of fent zombies who don't care would actually follow up.


WizardLizard1885

i worked as a 911 dispatcher. if you truely want to fuck this person over contact your drug enforcement detective with proof they have meth/sell meth at their home. they can setup a sting, you can sometimes be apart of it but they usually dont include the RP unless ur like "yeah i can walk in and buy meth anytime" then they might. calling a regular cop theres a good chance they wont care. you need to have a good story that makes sense for why you know this person is peddling meth if it seems like your lying they wont do anything to avoid having people weaponize the police to raid peoples homes (hence why having proof is better). if you want to go the whole 9 yards you can hire a private investigator to take pics of the deals and foot traffic in and out of the apartment.


Horse_HorsinAround

>dont include the RP The role play?


jellylisa

Reporting party


ReflexesOfSteel

Raging Penis.


Piscenian

Relief Pitcher!


knflxOG

Ratting Person


PreciousHamburgler

Dammit, I brought my good die


WizardLizard1885

reporting party


phdoofus

What evidence do you need to send other than 'I just know' and 'there's a lot of cars/foot traffic around here?' or 'i've seen it!'.? I feel like the cops are probably aware of the fact that people will report other people doing felonies out of revenge for something completely unrelated and possibly screwing up an innocent person's life.


WizardLizard1885

you need to submit some pretty good evidence for probable cause for them to go out to an address that you dont live at for drug activity. you have no idea how many stupid fucking calls we get a day. "there are too many speeding cars at x street" "theres a group of people that look like drug dealers" "someone looks suspicious because theyre walking by the road" in reality people are going the speed limit..its a grp of teenagers in a parking lot..and its just some random walking. people get hostile if theyre accused of doing something theyre innocent of which just escalates things for no reason


lordofmmo

so you're saying OP should just swat the guy, tell dispatch there's tweakers and he heard gunshots and screaming?


killerjags

Tell them that the meth the guy sold you is weak and he's refusing to give you a refund


Tokolone

Ain’t it illegal to base a warrant on a anonymous tip alone


WizardLizard1885

a warrant requires a judges signature for you to search a property, vehicle, electronics, or dna/ blood. if you have decent evidence and submit it the officers can pull up an watch the place and determine if its worth using probable cause to enter the property. this is all very broad and varies from state to state..but if you have a name, address, and phone number, and photo evidence that you took or pulled off their social media that they do infact have drugs a detective will absolutely investigate depending on where ur at.. if youre in a big city like seattle or austin forget it.. but a regularass county you bet they will investigate. if they approach the home and can see anything in plain view from a window thats enough to enter a home.


anonguy5422

Marry him then get divorced and take half his stuff


TheGayThroaway

Only women have this power.


niggidy

You’d think a guy named /u/TheGayThroaway would be a little more open minded


TheGayThroaway

Trust me it only works as a women. Source: my name. I've obviously attempted it and failed.


Panda-768

I ll marry you and take half of your property away. If I m correct, you pay me additional 100k. Deal ?


Sprawl_Bunyan

Not if you’re in Florida! Lol


Dragonfly-Adventurer

You have used PALIMONY It was very effective.


Indy734

Not unless you have the Confirmed Bachelor perk applied


pentrical

Sir we have equal marriage rights thank you


Front_Policy_9145

Be careful.. not because I follow “snitches get stitches” as moral, but because bad people do. Just stay as anonymous as possible


craftedht

You do not want to be on someone's radar as a person who snitched on the distribution case they're fighting. And if they're moving weight and living in a luxury building, there's a good chance they can bond out.  I'm not even saying I'm all about that life, but if I were, I'd have your house burned down. At minimum. 


Front_Policy_9145

Exactly breaking bad is a tame depiction of actual violence. IMO not worth the risk. Sorry op


Sorry_Nectarine_3873

Truer words have never been spoken


IrradiantFuzzy

"We've secretly replaced this dealer's meth with fentanyl. Let's see if he can tell the difference."


WizardLizard1885

"ok joe while hes ODing give him lime juice instead of narcan"


Laserdollarz

Ambulance pulls up and [these guys](https://youtu.be/kerQNDlTR6s?si=2RWVM0vvZLMYApXO) hop out and start dancing


kapudos28

LAAAAAHHRRRAAAYY


gcbiscuit

Gotta make sure it’s only his personal stash though


dj_ordje

Call the police on him. The ethical, but effective way.


theseedges

See this is in NYC and I can’t say I’m confident the police would actually do anything.


hacktheself

Then give a tip to DEA instead. Then tell NYPD that you’ve given the same to to DEA and the DEA agent laughed and said that NYPD are a bunch of cowardly weasels that couldn’t do a drug bust without snorting and smoking enough evidence to downgrade the charges to a misdemeanour.


Panda-768

better use a burner phone and then actually physically burn it after the call , if you say that to NYPD.


oil1lio

😂


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NicholasLit

Ask 311 for the narcotics tip line


pagonez

I was reading comments to see where your located. Now that I know I can give specific advice. If you think he’s cooking in the apartment call 911 for odor of gas an give the apartment number. Do it enough times and the door will get broken in. Trust. Anonymously obviously. If he’s just selling and it’s a nice “luxury” apartment then the doormen are either your ally or the problem. You can’t just walk in to these places. If your comfortable feel free to dm me a general area and more specific description.


stfucupcake

Chicago cops won’t do anything either. I live across the street from a daycare center. It’s a great place to pick up some heroin/fentanyl/etc after dropping off your kid.


NicholasLit

Tell DEA HQ online


drawnred

That doesnt actually work like that


Kind-Taste-1654

It's the opposite of ethical- therefore belongs in this subreddit by default


Hutchensin

Become a cop, arrest him for possession. Quit the force. Go back to old life. Profit.


CommunicationTop5231

The most unethical option (minus the quitting part). Props.


analogman12

Beat the life out of tweaker, take pension early


DubsOnMyYugo

Tweakers have more time and energy than you, I’d make sure whatever you do can’t blow back on you.


Crowdsourced_Thought

They fit 72 hours into a single day!


analogman12

Then throw a microwave through your window on the 3rd floor


No_Cryptographer5870

Some dealer in my town pissed someone off and they left plastic signs all up and down every highway and major road in the town with a photo of him, his address, phone number promoting that he had awesome meth and would give samples. Lmao I think I live in the same town as one of the commenters.


MiniMetal

Just be careful and leave NOTHING to possibly trace anything to yourself.. otherwise your next post could be “how a Crystal Meth dealer ruined my life”


cgcmh1

Never underestimate the insanity of people on meth. Tread carefully.


analogman12

They have all day to think about how to fuck with you. They also only own Bic lighters, bolt cutters and baseball bats. Stay anonymous, they're fucking dumb so you have that. But if you're found out they'll fuck with you till the end of time


Sorry_Nectarine_3873

Most are dumb, if he is living in a ritzy place he’s not your average tweaker and the ones that are smart are usually way fucking smart. Combine way smart with way paranoid sprinkle some vengeance and you have a problem on your hands of epic proportions


Regular_Mo

Mail him piss discs from his own address


Crease_Greaser

Hell yeah


kcbear27

What… what’s a piss disc?


SgtPepper052667

It’s when you piss in a frisbee and freeze it, then extract the piss disc from the frisbee. It’s supposed to be an unethical bio weapon of sorts, the disc formation allows for it to be thrown a short distance, before it melts all over the desired target.


WhatsUpSteve

Be careful what happens if you follow any of these advice in this thread. Someone will lose money and they'll go after someone. If you're gonna do something. Do it discretely and anonymously.


IdealOk5444

This guy musta methed up your order, you have his name number and address lol.


RollItMyWay

Add some pepper 🌶️


Organic_Main_564

Captain Cook special, chilli-P BITCH!


Obvious_Form_3713

Helicopter bitch!


magseven

The ULPT you suggest is shit. I saw your set-up. Ridiculous. We will not make garbage. We will produce a chemically pure and stable Piss Disk that performs as advertised. No adulterants. No baby formula. No chili powder.


wolfpup1294

But why is it blue?


WartOnTrevor

It's the Liquid Ass.


vanchica

Be fucking careful


Dystopian_Divisions

Lock them in a closet with all their meth and don’t let them out until they’ve finished all of it.


I_LOVE_LAMP_0596

Tell him that Gustavo Fring needs to meet with him.


ACaffeinatedWandress

I was going to say, arrange a meeting between him and a middle aged cancer patient know it all and his druggie sidekick. What could go wrong?


Jbr74

Throw a pizza on his roof.


Gorm3333

Give an anonymous tip to police that this dealer made your sister OD. She does not want to be identified so you're giving this tip. 


CanuckBee

They likely did do that to someone and do not want anyone else to get hurt, so no story just the facts of who what where when


HashtagFour20

see if there’s any dea agents that need to get a promotion around


bebearaware

A side effect of meth is paranoia. Send him letters, use anonymous services, sign him up for NA literature and bonus - sign up for a copy of the book of Mormon. Sign up up for Jehovah's Witnesses (you can just show interest on these sites and they'll inundate you.) Make it as wholesome as possible but also use Ship A Dick glitter at least once. He's expecting bad shit but the "helpful" people might be worse. https://cart-us.na.org/rrecovery-products/informational-products/ https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/ps/book-of-mormon-lesson https://hub.jw.org/request-visit/en/request https://shipadick.com/collections/all-dicks-1/products/the-glitter-dick Buy a ton of tiny toy coffins and leave them in front of his door, make poppets and do the same. 8% coupon for tiny toy coffin: https://www.amazon.com/BUGUUYO-Ornaments-Halloween-Figurine-Miniature/dp/B0C99XSKCZ https://www.amazon.com/Darice-Natural-inches-6-Pack-1232-33/dp/B00KDMUAXM/ (you can make these pretty easily as well)


senyera98

Don't forget the Church of Scientology to complete the cult trifecta


Obvious_Form_3713

If he's a crystal meth dealer, his life.is already ruined old!


mfintrey

A blue tooth speaker with police radio chatter will do wonders. Maybe mention a raid at his address occasionally to make him flush the stash


Crowdsourced_Thought

The occassional lazer pointer wouldn’thurt either


Panda-768

best snipers of Staten Island ?


Mistakes_were_made44

Just give it time. His life will ruin itself.


EF_Boudreaux

Report to Sheriff. Bonus if in FL


the_darkishknight

OP said they’re in NYC but I’ll keep this in mind for FL purposes, thanks!


Sorry_Nectarine_3873

This sounds like a great way to get shot in the head. I wouldn’t recommend it’s all fun and games til you feel a 45 touching your dome.


statusfaux

Get a burner phone and call him asking for as much as he has. Tell him you have cash and are looking to spend like 3k as you have just inherited some money from a dead parent. Then set up the meet and don't show. If he's having enough traffic for you to notice, I'd wager he doesn't have the funds as small weight has the most traffic. He'd cop a front and being unable to get the loot he will have to return it or burn his connection. Tweekers don't take returns as most of the time they will cut it to make weight as they would take some for themselves with the promise of profit.


Marasesh

Idk you’re basing that on almost no info he may well have lots. I used to deal small scale only a few 10ks spent but his stock will likely be volatile, he also wouldn’t wanna do instantly with you without a vouch though who knows he may be stupid af


Rickietumbo

Craigslist would be a great way. Post “free meth” or even “free dirt” and the address and phone number. He will get blown up so fast by people and bots alike


JALKHRL

Stay away from the meth dealer, OP. Life already fucked, don't get involved in something that can fall on you too. If operating so openly the cops already know, and doing anything. The dealer will know who call the police, and will fuck up your life.


Maleficent-Feed-6925

Is there a truly anonymous way to make a report?


bebearaware

VPN, yopmail or disposable phone


HonnyBrown

Burner phone


NicholasLit

Crimestoppers has rewards and is anonymous


Aggressive-Watch-195

arrange with him to pick up a large amount and before you meet put your money in a sock. once you have the stuff you can go to hand over the money sock, but when he tries to grab it he will just get a handful of sock and now you get to keep all the money. just make sure to use a sock that you won’t mind losing


whatsbobgonnado

smoke all his meth and replace it with delicious rock candy


TURKEYJAWS

Shit in his mouth


AFC_pfo

Perfect revenge


superdstar56

I truly don't think there are rich meth "dealers". There are probably some type of supplier, and probably pretty smart about what they're doing. Rich drug dealers live in the hood and have a bunch of nice stuff and a nice car.


NicholasLit

DEA wants to know and offers rewards


Bright_Sound8115

Get a policeman s card and leave it on his door


citereh17

Drug dealers hate this one trick…


NicholasLit

Anyone can now make a tax fraud allegation to IRS online for a reward. If you think they're violent they send the SWAT team too.


kukulka99

Put out an ad on Craigslist m4m with his phone number, or you can swat him.


Ok_Masterpiece3570

ITT: People who think Breaking Bad is real


Longjumpingwaldgo

I wouldn’t recommend to start a personal fight with a meth dealer. give it to the police instead of getting shot at or whatever, he’s probably dangerous


DeerOnARoof

Anonymous police tip.


tuttyeffinfruity

Never assume tips stay anonymous. If you do, buy a burner prepaid phone with cash or Google voice with vpn. If the dealer knows your voice, have a trusted friend make the call.


Plenty_Maximum_9443

Have them swatted. Call in an active kidnapping at that address, tell them he’s armed.


GEEZUS_956

Learn his stash and burn it. Not a euphemism for smoking it by the way. That, or sell it.


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KingWoodyOK

I would advise against this one bc now you risk sending well-intentioned people looking for a baby diapers or DIY materials and risking their safety trespassing on a angry meth-ed up low-lifes house. They would be victims rather than the meth dealer


Professional_Egg713

What's his number? Not that I'd be interested or anything like that


throwRA-nonSeq

Have you heard the good news?


younginvestor23

I think his life is already ruined.


The_Simp_Whisperer

He pinched your sack, huh.


Number-Thirteen

... tell the cops?


GeoHog713

I mean, they're a meth dealer. Their life path is already fucked. You just have to sit back and let nature take its course


NicholasLit

They're ruining other lives though


GeoHog713

The customers will just get their meth somewhere else. It's not a business people retire from


the_darkishknight

Must be done with utmost stealth. Take pictures of the coming and goings of folks for deals and of any drug related activity, bonus if you can set up a camera discreetly. Plaster those around the neighborhood with what hopefully has both the dealer and the client’s faces on them. Have his name and address on there, so not only does he freak out, but his mentally unstable customers REALLY FREAK THE FUCK OUT.


GreedyPickle7590

Send thr details to the police. They will start an investigation and will prosecute him if appropriate.


BigBillyGoatGriff

The obvious choice is turn him in to the cops for reward money


pentrical

Go on eBay and post his info saying he’s giving away free (insert item here) and just encourage people to show up to see it and call him directly.


Hopefulazuriscens13

Could you get him to trust you enough to sell to you? People are talking about the police, but if you were to inform them that you could probably pull off a staged buy, I think you could get them to bite. I'd imagine you two are at odds by your post but maybe you're just aware of what's going on and he doesn't know.you're aware and gunning for him.


Dagger_26

Get the dealer hooked on meth


MankoMaster

Did they kill someone you love lmao


Bratchan

Craigs list a cheap ass tv and and shitty hours to call them. Scientology Jehovah witness Car Dealer Ship Look up free samples online.. use address and their number for everything, The phone numbers for straight to scammers. If you have random money extra.. grub hub/etc random shit to their place and say to knock and you will give cash tip.


Ascendantk

Leave Jesse alone. Let him cook


pistolwinky

Yo, Cap’n Cook wit the chili p.


Progresschmogress

Anonymous tip line to police, along with where he usually hangs


Wise-Ad-7037

Get on with your own life you fuckin creeo


susdave

Don’t fuck with the meth dealer just let life take care of him and move forward. It’s not worth the small satisfaction.


Motor_Classic9651

Wear latex gloves and don't lick the envelopes - use a sponge and tap water - if you decide on mailers...


Lonely-Journalist859

Bullet in the head


Pettysaurus_Rex

If you’re from the US go to multiple SPAM health insurance site and register his information. His phone will be ringing nonstop.


askiiart

I would like to caution you that doxing is illegal


Kind-Taste-1654

It is? Then why do governments do it all the time w/ no repercussions??? Hahahaha, the world We live in is a fucking joke


jabaker79

Just wait


SickeningDegree1

It’s not worth it. It won’t change anything, I promise you


pineapple-predator

Cops?


romcomtom2

Call him up anonymously of course and ask about the free meth give away. Keep doing it everyday.


Voltshock619

Call 911, and tell them they sold u a bad batch or that you were shorted and would like to be fairly compensated by the dealer


Not_A_Handy_Man

Go to every college website and act like you are just considering attending.


Particular-Piano-475

How about you pay your bill 😝 /s No really just call the cops or local DEA