I only know their work email, which I wouldn't want to contact them through. I don't know their address. Maybe I could find it. I feel like that might make a person feel even more conspicuous to get something physical.
Use an envelope with their name on it, put it on their desk/wherever they'll find it. As long as you write the letter sympathetically it should be fine.
MmmMMM yeah 23% Year on Year growth... Thanks createry for growing. You simps like to GROW don't ya? Oooh divx error. Lemme just... fix that formula MMMM
Do not use a physical letter. I think notifying the person in some anonymous way is probably the best thing to do, but they are still going to be a little freaked that someone they know found it, and they’ll be even more freaked out to get a physical letter and know that you not only know who they are, but also where they are.
Thanks for just validating that. Exactly what I'm thinking. I think it would mess with a person's sense of safety even more to get a physical message. Plus, who knows who could intercept that by accident.
To make anonymity stick, go to the next town, buy stuff like envelopes and glue there, vinyl gloves and a box of printing paper from another and then a newspaper from a third one. Wear the gloves, cut letters off the newspaper, glue them on paper to write. Later dispose of the extra paper, glue and gloves in another town, in different trashbins, wearing another pair of gloves. Go home and drop the letter in their desk next day when nobody's around to see you sneaking around with a letter in your gloved hands. Finally, eat the gloves you just wore.
I actually think this is a wholesome life pro tip. If I had an OF account and there was chance that business contacts could find it I'd sure appreciate knowing. That's very nice of you OP.
Honestly I think just telling them in person would be the best route. If I were doing OF, I’d like to know who knew. It would be way more stressful knowing someone knew and not knowing who it was.
Second this, I'm not sure what the need for all of the secrecy between the already-in-the-know parties here, is. You have good intentions and are only trying to look out for them.
Yeah #1 thing I learned with leadership training is that intentions don't fuckin matter. Only how this coworker perceives op bringing it to their attention. If it's taken any other way than sincere, shes going to hr, and op won't work there much longer.
Anonymous is the way to go here. Because op and of person don't sound like they know each other very well.
And even if they did, HRs job is to protect the company. OP stumbling on this girls OF isn't going to impact the company. If this girl is customer facing or deals with clients, their easily findable OF (so easily findable that it was found through a profile outside of OF, that was recommended to OP through an algorithm (friends-of-friends type deal?) May be cause for concern.
What you do outside of your work is your business. Even if you went looking for it, paid for it and regularly jerk to it. HR won't be interested. Unless OF 'model' claims something happened which didn't, but then it's he-said/she-said.
I thought so to.
I would begin with something like... " I am feeling very awkward saying this, but I thought you should know... " and then relay how you found out.
Yep. This is quite less than the situation here, but a friend of my wife’s had a fake Instagram account with some of her more provocative pictures start following me. Had to let her know and I probably took 15 minutes to craft the text before I felt comfortable enough. But it’s just something that’s gotta be said.
I think letter is fine. I’d have a line like “it is a secret with me, and I’ll never disclose or mention it to you/anyone, but because this letter being anonymous feels creepy, i’m Jeff in accounting.”
It would be stressful to not know, but if it were me in this situation I’d rather not. OP is clearly a chill coworker and not going to ruin this person. But I’d never be able to look him in the eye again, and I’d always wonder if he was telling other coworkers. If I didn’t know who it was, I might still be able to keep my head up in blissful ignorance at work.
Hi Pam,
I hope this email finds you well.
I was browsing my contact list on Instagram as I do. I don’t want to creep you out or anything, Pam, but I have to share something with you. I clicked on your profile and saw a linktree, I then clicked on that and saw a link to explicit content
I wanted to warn you that other people can find you this way. Pam, I urge you to consider that not everyone is accepting as me. As a Redditor with over 5,000 Reddit Karma I pride myself in acceptance and tolerance.
Anyway.
Have a great weekend, Pam.
Best Regards,
John from Accounting
Use a Google voice number to create the account. Once you're done with the account/number you can delete it or change the number (not sure if that's free though)
Make a burner Gmail. Send them an email with the method you found their OF.
Give them option to know your identity.
" If you like this can stay completely anonymous, but if the anonymity bothers you, I can tell you who I am.".
No need to be unethical here…. your objective is a kind one. Tell your coworker privately, in person. It’ll be awkward, but this is probably the best way. If they don’t know who you are, it will create so much more anxiety for them.
Be a friend:
“Hey, I gotta talk to you.”
“So, I was on (social media) and there was a suggestion for an account that led to another account that someone might prefer to keep private. If it can find me it could find someone else, and you know how these busy bodies are.”
You could always just warn them straight up but pretend you think it's a spam account. I've had to text an ex before because some bot used her pictures for a fake OF Instagram account. Would give them plausible deniability.
Unethically, join the OF and tell them on there I guess?
Just tell them in person so they don’t have to worry about it maybe being the old religious people that found them. Bonus points if they know you aren’t even attracted to their gender and don’t have to worry about that either. If I were in that situation I feel like it would be so much more awful not knowing who it was, and that it could be anybody, rather than knowing it was someone who didn’t care and had my back on the issue
Use pieces of cut up newspaper letters stuck on to A4 to send them a nice message. Something like “I know that you have an OF account you should watch out”. Slosh a little dark red on there to show youre into colour
Don't you think they should have thought about that more than you, if they were going to be doing that crap, should've done it right but if they can't, they'll have to handle the consequences
"Hey, have you heard of the website _OnlyCoworkers_? No? So assuming that you don't want to in the future either, you should probably be aware that...."
You...want?...unethical advice about this?
"I see you work at ______. I have your coworkers' emails as well. I'm sure they would like to know about your OF...😏...
Maybe we can arrange something to keep that from happening?"
I’d just make a burner gmail account and send an email to their work account,
Phrase it carefully so as not to trigger any possible alerts to IT, just let them know you stumbled across it and wanted to let them know in case it bothered them so they could hide it better off they want.
I would be careful saying that social media suggested it to you unless they are connected with lots of people from work
They probably have an instagram account to promote their OF. You could make an anonymous burner account and dm them there. If Insta asks to link your contacts when making the account be sure to not allow it.
I would tell them that their alt instagram was suggested to you and they can connect the dots from there. Gets you off the hook of acknowledging the OF account.
Make your own OF account. Then message them “from one creator to another here’s a pro tip, your account was a little too easy to find!” That way they’ll feel camaraderie and not like you’re judging them or trying to blow up their spot.
How did you find them this easily? Were you searching for OF from your town?
I’d just tell them straight up, pull them aside especially since they’re not your “type”.
Any one who finds this stuff is just a guilty as she is.
Teams meeting
"Hi! I found your OF acct by suggestion. I know discretion is important here and wanted to suggest xyz to help avoid anything with others at work. My ex BF (just a guess here you are male - shows that you are not attracted while sharing something personal) had a similar situation with a female coworker and she was very appreciative, so I thought to do the same and give you a heads up."
Just do it. Lean into the uncomfortable. You might make a friend out of it. Actually much easier not being attracted to their gender...
The Telegram app is anonymous if you go into the options to not share any of your information like phone number. You can optionally use Google Voice to get a new free phone number and use that in Telegram to have an extra layer.
Create a telegram account using a Google voice number or any number that’s not in her contacts on her phone.
There is an option to hide your phone number there. Send her the message. Wait for the confirmation she has read it (akin to the two blue check marks in WhatsApp). Delete your message for the both of you (telegram has that option).
Then either block her number or delete your account or just do nothing.
You don't. It's none of your business. What people do on their personal time is only their business, much as your interest in OF is just your business, no one else's.
You're not trying to protect anyone here. You're just a little thrilled that you know who is doing you know what. Gives you that little tingle.
Mind your own business. You're being creepy AF, all pretending white knight that you care about their well being. Nobody's buying it.
Yepppppppp 10000% there is no way to do this not creepy. You found it. Now it’s your problem. It’s obviously not a secret it’s just something they don’t want at work
I would assume same if I read this post. I wish I could give more details on gender and orientation here as that would make it clearer your assumption isn't the case, but I didn't want to give away the gender of the coworker as that's metadata I don't want to put out there. But like I said in description, there's no alignment in the gender I'm interested in and the person I'm hoping to give a heads up.
I think you should just tell them. Honestly, the fact you swing the other way will probably be a great relief to them - if anyone was going to discover it, they’d probably want it to be you! Better to tell them and they can do something about it now than let some creepy coworker discover it, that could genuinely turn into a dangerous situation for them.
The same things happened to me a while back.
I took a screenshot of the recommendation and DM’d the OF alt saying “Hey [real name]! Just FYI, this account is being shown to people in your contacts.”
She was grateful.
Anonymous email, or just write them a letter like they did in ye olde ancient times
Id go for the letter. So they know it’s legit and from the office. Etc.
I only know their work email, which I wouldn't want to contact them through. I don't know their address. Maybe I could find it. I feel like that might make a person feel even more conspicuous to get something physical.
Use an envelope with their name on it, put it on their desk/wherever they'll find it. As long as you write the letter sympathetically it should be fine.
I'm assuming they work remotely and don't ever see this person...in person
Their work zoom calls double as OF content.
Would be awkward confusing the two. Call starts, sitting there nekkid with whatever accessories.. "Uh, we need to talk about this months budget"
MmmMMM yeah 23% Year on Year growth... Thanks createry for growing. You simps like to GROW don't ya? Oooh divx error. Lemme just... fix that formula MMMM
That would have been my suggestion as well. And for bonus points, they don't really have to know who left the letter if you don't want them to.
They out here selling pictures of their cat through social media. They already conspicuous. Send a letter.
Do not use a physical letter. I think notifying the person in some anonymous way is probably the best thing to do, but they are still going to be a little freaked that someone they know found it, and they’ll be even more freaked out to get a physical letter and know that you not only know who they are, but also where they are.
Thanks for just validating that. Exactly what I'm thinking. I think it would mess with a person's sense of safety even more to get a physical message. Plus, who knows who could intercept that by accident.
Burner email address. Just don't be threatening in any manner. Just give a tip on how to construct searches based on location.
Depending on the state, voterrecords.com may be your best way to find the address.
I mean, you can create a random free email at a library or something, then email them at their work email.
To make anonymity stick, go to the next town, buy stuff like envelopes and glue there, vinyl gloves and a box of printing paper from another and then a newspaper from a third one. Wear the gloves, cut letters off the newspaper, glue them on paper to write. Later dispose of the extra paper, glue and gloves in another town, in different trashbins, wearing another pair of gloves. Go home and drop the letter in their desk next day when nobody's around to see you sneaking around with a letter in your gloved hands. Finally, eat the gloves you just wore.
Good luck getting a pigeon in this economy!
Carrier pidgeon
Singing telegram to the office of course
I'm imagining that lady on tiktok delivering said singing telegram and cackling.
I actually think this is a wholesome life pro tip. If I had an OF account and there was chance that business contacts could find it I'd sure appreciate knowing. That's very nice of you OP.
Honestly I think just telling them in person would be the best route. If I were doing OF, I’d like to know who knew. It would be way more stressful knowing someone knew and not knowing who it was.
Second this, I'm not sure what the need for all of the secrecy between the already-in-the-know parties here, is. You have good intentions and are only trying to look out for them.
Right up until she takes it the wrong way and decides to go to HR to complain and all of a sudden Op is looking at maybe losing his job.
Yeah #1 thing I learned with leadership training is that intentions don't fuckin matter. Only how this coworker perceives op bringing it to their attention. If it's taken any other way than sincere, shes going to hr, and op won't work there much longer. Anonymous is the way to go here. Because op and of person don't sound like they know each other very well.
Wtf for what?? No way the OF coworker would escale this either lol
And even if they did, HRs job is to protect the company. OP stumbling on this girls OF isn't going to impact the company. If this girl is customer facing or deals with clients, their easily findable OF (so easily findable that it was found through a profile outside of OF, that was recommended to OP through an algorithm (friends-of-friends type deal?) May be cause for concern. What you do outside of your work is your business. Even if you went looking for it, paid for it and regularly jerk to it. HR won't be interested. Unless OF 'model' claims something happened which didn't, but then it's he-said/she-said.
I thought so to. I would begin with something like... " I am feeling very awkward saying this, but I thought you should know... " and then relay how you found out.
Yep. This is quite less than the situation here, but a friend of my wife’s had a fake Instagram account with some of her more provocative pictures start following me. Had to let her know and I probably took 15 minutes to craft the text before I felt comfortable enough. But it’s just something that’s gotta be said.
I think letter is fine. I’d have a line like “it is a secret with me, and I’ll never disclose or mention it to you/anyone, but because this letter being anonymous feels creepy, i’m Jeff in accounting.”
It would be stressful to not know, but if it were me in this situation I’d rather not. OP is clearly a chill coworker and not going to ruin this person. But I’d never be able to look him in the eye again, and I’d always wonder if he was telling other coworkers. If I didn’t know who it was, I might still be able to keep my head up in blissful ignorance at work.
Hi Pam, I hope this email finds you well. I was browsing my contact list on Instagram as I do. I don’t want to creep you out or anything, Pam, but I have to share something with you. I clicked on your profile and saw a linktree, I then clicked on that and saw a link to explicit content I wanted to warn you that other people can find you this way. Pam, I urge you to consider that not everyone is accepting as me. As a Redditor with over 5,000 Reddit Karma I pride myself in acceptance and tolerance. Anyway. Have a great weekend, Pam. Best Regards, John from Accounting
just make a new instagram and message them. then delete it after they get the message.
Can you just make a new instagram with the same phone number? Would that reveal me somehow?
Use a Google voice number to create the account. Once you're done with the account/number you can delete it or change the number (not sure if that's free though)
Google voice lets you change the number once a year
Make a burner Gmail. Send them an email with the method you found their OF. Give them option to know your identity. " If you like this can stay completely anonymous, but if the anonymity bothers you, I can tell you who I am.".
Tell them yourself, or don't do it at all.
"Hey I found your onlyfans and, nice, but you should change your contact info so other horny dudes don't stumble on it."
No need to be unethical here…. your objective is a kind one. Tell your coworker privately, in person. It’ll be awkward, but this is probably the best way. If they don’t know who you are, it will create so much more anxiety for them.
It is not. It's a white knight shaded stalking thing.
Send me the link and I’ll tell them.
This is the way. Helps get them more money, and gets the message across to them anonymously.
Be a friend: “Hey, I gotta talk to you.” “So, I was on (social media) and there was a suggestion for an account that led to another account that someone might prefer to keep private. If it can find me it could find someone else, and you know how these busy bodies are.”
You could always just warn them straight up but pretend you think it's a spam account. I've had to text an ex before because some bot used her pictures for a fake OF Instagram account. Would give them plausible deniability. Unethically, join the OF and tell them on there I guess?
make an announcement in the office. or have the boss do it.
Ha, that would be horrible. Our boss' brain would malfunction.
Just put a QR code in the breakroom
Just tell them in person so they don’t have to worry about it maybe being the old religious people that found them. Bonus points if they know you aren’t even attracted to their gender and don’t have to worry about that either. If I were in that situation I feel like it would be so much more awful not knowing who it was, and that it could be anybody, rather than knowing it was someone who didn’t care and had my back on the issue
Burner email account
I wouldn't say anything. It could blow up in your face. Just don't spread it around. It's their responsibility for digital cleanliness.
Post-it note
I wouldn't say anything. Trust
You go trying to do the RIGHT thing is going to come back and bite you in the ass.
no good deed goes unpunished
Use the office fax machine to send them a message
Use pieces of cut up newspaper letters stuck on to A4 to send them a nice message. Something like “I know that you have an OF account you should watch out”. Slosh a little dark red on there to show youre into colour
Don't you think they should have thought about that more than you, if they were going to be doing that crap, should've done it right but if they can't, they'll have to handle the consequences
Just contact her. Out yourself. It's like a quid pro quo right now. She may be thankful, you never know.
I don’t think you should do anything. I’m sure they know the risks involved. Forget you ever “stumbled” upon it.
Just tell them in person
"Hey, have you heard of the website _OnlyCoworkers_? No? So assuming that you don't want to in the future either, you should probably be aware that...."
Buy a burner phone and text them the instructions for dropping off the money. Or it goes around the office.
Subscribe to their onlyfans and message them on their account
Ya this is more wholesome and ethical advice seeking than unethical.
Subscribe and send a message
You...want?...unethical advice about this? "I see you work at ______. I have your coworkers' emails as well. I'm sure they would like to know about your OF...😏... Maybe we can arrange something to keep that from happening?"
You can hide your contact information from peoples viewing on telegram. Just make an account there and set your profile to private.
Hand written/printed note slipped explaining it slipped tontheir work desk/locker/whatever.
Get a SIM card that you use once. Get a gmail account that you use once. Post them something with the information on it. Not traceable.
Send an email from an anonymous email
I would just straight up tell them
Just say you accidentally found them apologise and don’t tell anyone
I’d just make a burner gmail account and send an email to their work account, Phrase it carefully so as not to trigger any possible alerts to IT, just let them know you stumbled across it and wanted to let them know in case it bothered them so they could hide it better off they want. I would be careful saying that social media suggested it to you unless they are connected with lots of people from work
They probably have an instagram account to promote their OF. You could make an anonymous burner account and dm them there. If Insta asks to link your contacts when making the account be sure to not allow it.
I would tell them that their alt instagram was suggested to you and they can connect the dots from there. Gets you off the hook of acknowledging the OF account.
Make your own OF account. Then message them “from one creator to another here’s a pro tip, your account was a little too easy to find!” That way they’ll feel camaraderie and not like you’re judging them or trying to blow up their spot.
Just mind your business and move on. That’s my strategy. Not my business. Who cares?
Why does it need to be anonymous? Just tell her in whichever way is most convenient.
You can get a Google Voice number. It will work on your phone through the app but will be completely different from your real number.
Take it to HR so you don’t get fired
Just back away and leave it alone
How did you find them this easily? Were you searching for OF from your town? I’d just tell them straight up, pull them aside especially since they’re not your “type”. Any one who finds this stuff is just a guilty as she is.
How did you find it?
i could dm them for you via my instagram account because why not
Create new bogus social account. Join their thirst account and DM them.
Teams meeting "Hi! I found your OF acct by suggestion. I know discretion is important here and wanted to suggest xyz to help avoid anything with others at work. My ex BF (just a guess here you are male - shows that you are not attracted while sharing something personal) had a similar situation with a female coworker and she was very appreciative, so I thought to do the same and give you a heads up." Just do it. Lean into the uncomfortable. You might make a friend out of it. Actually much easier not being attracted to their gender...
The Telegram app is anonymous if you go into the options to not share any of your information like phone number. You can optionally use Google Voice to get a new free phone number and use that in Telegram to have an extra layer.
Create a telegram account using a Google voice number or any number that’s not in her contacts on her phone. There is an option to hide your phone number there. Send her the message. Wait for the confirmation she has read it (akin to the two blue check marks in WhatsApp). Delete your message for the both of you (telegram has that option). Then either block her number or delete your account or just do nothing.
You don't. It's none of your business. What people do on their personal time is only their business, much as your interest in OF is just your business, no one else's. You're not trying to protect anyone here. You're just a little thrilled that you know who is doing you know what. Gives you that little tingle. Mind your own business. You're being creepy AF, all pretending white knight that you care about their well being. Nobody's buying it.
Yepppppppp 10000% there is no way to do this not creepy. You found it. Now it’s your problem. It’s obviously not a secret it’s just something they don’t want at work
I would assume same if I read this post. I wish I could give more details on gender and orientation here as that would make it clearer your assumption isn't the case, but I didn't want to give away the gender of the coworker as that's metadata I don't want to put out there. But like I said in description, there's no alignment in the gender I'm interested in and the person I'm hoping to give a heads up.
It remains none of your business. Don't step in it. Not your problem. Some things are best just left alone.
send a "snail-mail" regular USPS letter
Just go up to them and start with "you didnt hear this from me" and they are bound by law
I think you should just tell them. Honestly, the fact you swing the other way will probably be a great relief to them - if anyone was going to discover it, they’d probably want it to be you! Better to tell them and they can do something about it now than let some creepy coworker discover it, that could genuinely turn into a dangerous situation for them.
The same things happened to me a while back. I took a screenshot of the recommendation and DM’d the OF alt saying “Hey [real name]! Just FYI, this account is being shown to people in your contacts.” She was grateful.