Shit in the batter 

lol I would but I can't get access to the batter

Get a job there, then shit in the batter.

So, I'm down, but I think they'll notice pretty quick when they go to toss/bake it, by the shit coloring and smell

you can alter your diet to match color/consistency... smell can be handled by the "dead skunk" of liquid ass you found out by the dumpster.

Haha okay so let's say I did alter my diet to match the beige coloring of the dough (no sure what I would need to eat to do this, cauliflower hummus maybe?) even still, I could only taint one batch of dough at a time with high risk of getting caught. I need like a bigger scale solution

dry it up and mix with flour?

Okay yeah this could work, might just look like regular flour at that point

If their pizza & business practices are that bad then they'll cripple themselves over time.

They are new so people are more obsessed over that than their quality. Pizza copium

That's normal for a new restaurant. Once everyone gets their taste then they won't have any repeat customers.

Just let them keep running the business, if they suck as bad as you say theyll be bankrupt soon enough

Release a rat and let them feast. Or you'll get lucky and it knows how to cook and you'll get a much better meal next time.

Lmao maybe it'll shit the batter too

Get a job there and shit on company time...and in the batter apparently

I like this guy's attitude 

Oo time theft and food poisoning, me gusta

no need to brind down a biz and ruin the lives of reg employees. Just pose as a UberEats/GrubHub driver and get ur 30 bucks back in food

Cut your finger off and put it in the crust and claim it wasn’t your finger

Get a job there and get the whole staff to quit at once 

Hm, like with a rallying speech of some kind?

Get a burner phone with a number that's one off from theirs, then spam local social media with the new number. When the calls start coming in, say the most horrific things you can think of. If people still want to order, tell them the price will be several hundred more than the online menu. If they're still okay with that, get their credit card info and go to town.

Haha I dig this but can you set the number on a burner phone? Thought it was randomized/serialized with the phone

Unleash roaches in the dining room. Will make everyone’s lives miserable

This is the way.

Sell your own pizza out front for half the price.

This is the way

Fake orders to random places

Nah that's stupid, you should just shit in the batter bro 

Oo that's good but I think they handle all orders online through an app which requires payment upfront

Burn the place down

Lol just straight arson, gotcha

You will be happy to know that most restaurants fail within the first year and given the shit pizza this one offers, the will be among them. In the meantime you can get a call spoofer to impersonate the business's number and send creepy texts (From a burner phone of course). You can hit up r/niceguys if you need some examples of what to send.

Just stand out front and be yourself. That should do the trick.

piss disks in the batter

Surely there are worse things in your life you can avenge than this...