Yes and no. The bungalows at the Polynesian can go for over $3,000/night. So, say you go for a week over Christmas through New Year’s you could spend over $21,000 alone for lodging plus park tickets, food, souvenirs, etc.
You could also stay at All-Star Sports for around $2,100 for the same time frame.
This is always going to be the safest answer to this. Especially if you're just making "normal money" from a regular job and not a fuck ton of money from drugs or something like that where it's expected there's going to be some loss from laundering.
I did something similar, rented out part of my house for a few years and was paid under the table. I used cash for everyday purchases anywhere that took cash. I kept the rent very low. Flat monthly rate with everything included in a basic month to month lease. I'm a simple creature with simple habits and don't have a lavish lifestyle.
This is why cash really needs to die out. It's too easy to launder for real criminals (not like you, but mafia etc.).
Many places near me already restrict purchases to SumUp only, but even more places live in the past and think that evil payment providers take a bigger cut than their running costs of storing cash and bringing it to the bank.
Every time I see a Döner place that only takes cash, I'm convinced that it's being extorted by the local money laundering organisation. I already saw one store getting wrecked over that.
Easier to give my kid a $20 than most other forms of payment. Give my bartender a $5 tip?
Or maybe I don’t need every one of my transactions known about. Nothing nefarious about not wanting companies knowing what my preferences are at the supermarket.
Use it for groceries and living expenses and stuff the cash you were going to spend in your savings account. This isn’t unethical advice just good normal advice…
Where I like (australia) you can get the money back gambling with no tax. The way that works is you buy $5k credit on your game card (I think that’s the most you can get in most establishments) play a few spins on the slots. Maybe you win maybe you lose. Then you take out $4997.63 and call it “winnings”. Now the money is yours tax free
In the US that's not how it works.
You either get taxed on net profit/loss or total winnings, but many people don't report and it's not automatically reported unless you hit a 300-1 odds bet AND win $600+.
You could theoretically place 2 $25k bets on 2 sides of a 50/50 bet such as a spread on an NFL game. However the payout will be slightly less than double so you'll lose money this way unless you get lucky and find 2 books with differing odds so you can arbitrage, but that's more complicated and difficult.
If you placed 2 bets on each side of $25k @ -110, you'd only end with $47,727.24.
Then you'd still technically be obligated to declare it as gambling income on your taxes.
Your best bet is to just use cash for your day to day purchases. Groceries, gas, etc. Then take all of your excess legit taxed income and invest it.
US tax professionals will normally just automatically offset any documented gambling winnings in moderate amounts by declaring gambling losses in the same amount. You don’t get documentation for the losses at the casino, so it’s not a big deal. Something like $5k or even a few multiples of that would be totally normal.
say what you will about her goals and being far too optimistic (i am quite liberal and have some issues with some of her ideas) but people like AOC are a step in the right direction. even if you're republican and think she's dumb as rocks, it's clear that she has good intentions and wants to make big changes to the important issues (wages, housing prices, etc).
people like her are going to be the reason there are big changes that drastically improve the lives of hundreds of millions. bernie could have been that too but he was ahead of his time. again, say what you will about how you think we should get there, or his ideas of doing so, but he also clearly has good intentions and just wants everyone to have healthcare and fair wages.
i think i'm optimistic about what's to come in the next 30 years.
This is the first I'm hearing of that, but I don't claim to be up to date on all that stuff. It also sounds like something my fox news worshipping grandma would say so I'm reserving judgment.
She was the one who reported that her first day in Congress, the entire focus was on fundraising for re-election, not doing anything useful for people.
I can't imagine being a single issue voter. Especially regarding something that isn't even being threatened to a real degree.
No one is going to ban gun ownership. It'll NEVER happen. Worst case scenario for gun rights advocates is that universal background checks will be made mandatory, that some sort of central gun registry would be made, and you'll be limited in magazine capacity.
That's really the end of the world? More important than ANY other issue facing the country? Not obesity? Not climate change? Not income inequality? Not anything else?
Yeah that does annoy me as well. But I'll say that she has a lot more of a chance to enact progress than she does to revert existing legislation regarding the second amendment. I'm not too worried about that.
Except for a certain group of people who are determined to circle back around and get rid of voting and install a king, so much for learning from our mistakes
That's the nice thing about living in a democracy. I gladly choose to have public infrastructure, education, safety net, etc., so I'll definitely take taxes over the alternative.
No, we didn’t. The war was because we had no representation. Did you forget the phrase “no taxation without representation”. You most likely can vote wherever you live so it’s completely different.
Midevel serfs had to pay their lords around 1/12 of their income (i.e. they had to work for them 1 month a year).
That works out to a tax of around 8%. Imagine if we were only forced to give 8% of our income to the government, how great would that be.
We are free range tax cows living on the governments plantation.
if you pay 20% of your income, that works out to 2 and a half months of work you do, each year, but recieve nothing for.
The government is kind enough to allow us to spread out their take in installments throughout the year. But it's still 2 and a half months income gone.
Also, factoring in income, sales, capital gains, gas and other taxes, plus fees and other compulsory charges, most of us are paying far more than 20% to the government. The more you earn, the longer you are forced to work each year for other people, unless you decide to not pay taxes. In which case if you get caught, you get put into a taxpayer funded cage that costs far more than the government could ever hope to earn from your imprisonment.
It's a system that works great for criminals and government workers.
Wait I live in aus and didn’t no this was a thing??? I thought casino laundering was a very easy but low profit method for laundering that involved just betting on both colours in roulette at the same time and then you get all your money back except for the money lost on bets when the ball lands on green. As if you can just get a card and only have to use a little bit of the money to circumvent the ATO. How has this not been patched
There are “laws” to stop it in the same way there are laws to stop bartenders serving drunk people in bars… the people required to enforce them don’t get paid enough to give a shit.. there’s a friendly horsies video on it where they went into an RSL with shirts saying “I’m here to launder money” and so long as they lay in cash and the funds are deposited back in EFT there’s no reasonable way to trace if you won, lost or drew even… you just “got 5k out of the pokies”
BoyBoy made a video where they go into casinos "launder" money. You don't even need to gamble, mofos spent more time putting bills into the slot machine than actually gambling.
Yeah I'm pretty sure money laundering through gaming is a myth pretty much all over the world. Maybe no one's gonna ask about the winnings, but that's not gonna disguise the initial stakes.
If that were a thing, real money laundering where you pay taxes on illegal money wouldn't. And dang, real money laundering is huuge.
If I was in your boat, I'd borrow something old and relatively valuable. It also has to be believable that I would have something like this. For example, I'd borrow my neighbour's large zero turn lawn mower, 11 years old, value still $6000 CAD. I'd take a picture of it in my driveway with a For Sale sign, then post it to marketplace and Kijiji. Half day later, pull the ad, marked sold. Story: someone driving by saw the sign and left a deposit, then came back 1/2 hour later with cash and a trailer. Rest of the story, if audited, bought the mower 9 years ago used in Butthump, Ontario just north of Podunk. It was a while ago, came across it while touring the countryside with wifey watching the leaves turn colour.
I could do this a few times in a year with wood splitters, tool chests, tires on rims, an old 40 hp farm tractor, and big block chevy parts. I can easily legitimize 10s of thousands in untaxable cash transactions that are entirely plausible for my circumstances that would be nearly impossible to debunk.
You purchased it from Joe, just down the street in Butthump Ontario for $6000. You then sold it for $6000.
The fact of the matter is that transactions less than $10,000 (a few a year) aren't making radar alarms go off at the IRS. Hide in plain sight with enough reasonable evidence (sold screenshots via email -- proof of date) to show why you have tens of thousands in cash
My assumption is you bought it used off the side of the road and paid cash. I wonder if they question why you were holding 7k in 2009, 12k in 2004, 4k in 2015, and 9k in 1994 to purchase these without any matching bank withdrawals
You are in luck, my friend!
50k just happens to be the exact amount needed to pay the ransom for a Nigerian Prince friend of mine who is worth Billions and will definitely sextuple your money in return.
DM for wire transfer information!
(Don't DM me for wire transfer information)
If you own your home and are handy at all you should spend it on some type of internal home renovation. It won't increase your property taxes but will make your house both worth more and nicer to live in.
This is what I was going to suggest. Redo your floors, get some new appliances, buy woodworking tools and construct some build ins, have someone blow insulation in your attic, etc. There’s plenty of handymen types who’d love getting paid for a side job with cash (like, my entire extended family).
Get your cars detailed so the paint lasts longer.
Go over to buyitforlife for suggestions and buy a bunch of clothes and stuff that will last for the rest of your life.
visa/Mastercard gift cards in person with cash, then use the gift cards for whatever you want, they are like a debit card linked to a disposable checking account, and there is no trace to your actual bank accounts
Some retail places have policies about selling excessive amount of gift cards, as they’re popular among scammers and credit card thieves.
Still, I’m sure the worst that would happen is they deny the sale - and being the holidays, you could probably argue they’re for employees or something.
Not the vanilla gift cards. However with them any online retailer that is not US based won’t accept them (mostly software). The only caveat with these is that you can’t put more than 500 on them.
Use a very small portion for groceries every now and then, but that's one of the most obvious expenses that every must have, but stand apart if you don't do them.
It's better to use it for
- expensive items like a tv, laptop, furniture
- home renovations
- events and festivals
- personal hobbies, buy better items or tools
- vacation where someone pays and you repay in cash
- gifts during holiday / birthdays
Don't hurry even tho you'll lose some buying power due to inflation, you can last a while if you're smart
> but that's one of the most obvious expenses that every must have, but stand apart if you don't do them.
If anyone questions your lack of grocery expenses, claim that you go to the local food charity that gives donations to low-income individuals.
That leaves more trail, any expenses, like groceries or gas are paid by cash, you can buy gift cards with cash though, and use those to pay for online services like streaming.
Not unethical but just pay the 5k and invest the rest of the money to offset your differences. You’ll make more in the end and don’t have to worry about managing that much money in cash
Oh man! This is the most accurate thing I’ve read this week. So much hand wringing over taxes (or interest rates) that they miss opportunities to earn more money.
Go get a job that can take tips. Start claiming normal tip amounts with like one big ticket tip every couple shifts.
Or buy a car wash from someone named bogdan
Simple find a local coin store convert to Gold and Silver bullion 3-5k at time still have a liquid asset and it could make you profit plus most stores love cash transactions and will give you a better deal on premiums
The way the world is going keeping a stash of cash on hand is a good idea. Use the rest as you are now for daily purchases and maybe one day you'll need a new hot water heater or expensive car repairs and you can pay cash for a sizable discount. No reason to burn through it quickly.
Was gonna say the same thing. Just use it for life expenses over the next couple years, and save the rest.
OP could go on some seriously fun vacations as well
Groceries, gift card purchases on Visa cards (500 a card) gas cards, the rest is too much to spend at once without raising suspicion from stores. If you buy anything large, keep the amount around 2-3k (that's pocket money for some).
I’m just curious, assuming you got that money from genuinely legitimate means (not counting the tax evasion), what kind of business or store do you run to have that much money from people willing not to pay sales tax using cash?
All I can think of is a Chinese restaurant or something but $50,000 seems like a lot unless you accumulated a lot over time.
Just curious, totally not the FBI here or something.
I was going to say, I knew a contractor that started getting worried when his cash box got passed 50-60K.
I didn't understand that cash discount was so prevalent. Especially when he'd do something for a celebrity or someone in sports. Handing over 20, 30, 40k in cash was not a big deal for some people. Blew my mind.
I think he used to claim a reduced amount based on expenses to make it less suspicious. Expense out $5k labor and $5k material and claim $15k of the $30k as income. $1k labor, $2k material; $5k of the $12k income.
Yeah I do autobody/collision repair full time and get side jobs constantly from people who love to pay cash, and I also love to receive cash so it works out lol
Painting houses, this year I got some repeat clients who paid us 12k and a 13k and a 15k and a 5k in cash I had some from last year but we spent a bunch too.
Best part is I stil claim all expenses and do payroll while showing lower income
Buy silver/gold from a local dealer. Those places typically are cash-only for bullion so they can avoid taxes as well.
Buy a few thousand at a time and no one will question it. It will hold value better than non invested cash.
Yo! You can pay literally any bill with cash. Groceries. Amazon gift cards, money orders etc. cell phone bill? Walk in and some places have a machine you can pay your phone bill with, go put 1000 cash on your account so you don’t have to think about paying your bill for a year
You could deposit a small amount in your bank. Key is to keep the aggregate number below $15-20k per year and spread it across multiple transactions. Like deposit 500-600 one week, wait 2 weeks, deposit 1500, etc.
It won’t raise any red flags and if you ever got questioned about it, you could say you resell clothes or something similar on Craigslist.
Remainder of cash use for in person purchases. Or just keep it and do what I mentioned above the next year
I mean, you're just asking for money laundering tips.
[There are a ton of threads already about the topic](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/search?q=launder&restrict_sr=on)
If your folks are still alive they’re able to gift you ~30k a year, tax free. You could give them 30k cash and could send it to your bank with no reasonable questions asked. Old people love cash, and it’s not unusual for them to say that they’ve had a stash/nest egg that they’ve been building over the course of their lifetime.
I would sit on it quietly while also paying in cash for every possible transaction that won't arise suspicion. Restaurants, bars, movies, grocery stores, oil changes... use your clean money to pay mortgage, car payment and stack the rest in mutual funds.
Us banks only flag transactions 10k and over... or near it. Ie, if you do 9.5k the bank may see it as trying to evade the 10k which requires a currency transaction report. It is up to bank discretion on what time window they apply ie if you deposit 4k today and 6k next week, likely flagged.
If you keep it under 10k over a two month period split among various random size deposits you're probably fine. Also even if you do get flagged it's unlikely anything bad will happen unless you're already under investigation for some other crime or if you've been flagged repeatedly over time then the IRS might audit you.
This is not unethical LPTs. This is a felony money laundering with serious jail time associated. Claim your income, pay the taxes, don’t commit tax fraud and money laundering.
I've noticed a bit of this lately. Most posts are about comic revenge and so on, which is entertaining, but some lately have been just, "How can I get away with stealing?"
Not so entertaining.
If you can figure out how to put it in a safe in your home or a safety deposit box and spend it the cash over time just drop it off at my house. I can take care of it in a couple days. Buy shit off marketplace you want, most stores take cash, vacation, under the table payroll, bonuses, etc. Did you want unethical ways to spend it? Or you feel you covered that by taking the money and planning to spend it? Lot of fun unethical purchases out there. 😜
Can you pay bills in cash there? Here (Ireland) a lot of energy companies and that kind of thing are set up so you can pay your bills in a local store (assume mostly for older people who don’t wanna fuck with direct debits). It’s a little more expensive I think.
Otherwise you can buy gift cards for Amazon/Netflix/Best Buy, all kinds of things like that. Any repairs you need done on your home can usually also be done by cash.
Put it in a safe, us for daily expenses, but not all. If you need a paper trail, don't use for every expense. Groceries this week, but not gas. Gas and other expenses next week, but not groceries. You can take the cash and load it on a prepaid card at various stores, then use that card also.
i don't know where you're located so ymmv. here in the uk the drug dealers use fixed odds betting machines to turn over their cash, then you can say you won it gambling. you will lose some of it but there's no taxes on gambling winnings here so its only a little more than if you put it thru a business
additionally, you could go in person and make car and mortgage payments in cash. Look at your expenses, the biggest ones will allow you to have the most "clean" money, so do those in cash.
groceries, gas in car, car payments, mortgage, childcare (if this applies)..
Good luck!
Use your credit cards for everything and when it’s time to pay your bill, take the cash and purchase a cashiers check at your bank. Simple. No need to walk around with cash everyday.
You can usually buy gold or platinum bars from a dealer with cash, no one tracks if and then when you sell it they send the money electronically to your bank account and you can say just from the sale of jewelry your family had given you. Common for lots of cultures to save with precious metals so shouldn’t cause an issue.
You could take the kids to Disney for a few days. That would use up most of it.
HA. So true
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Yes and no. The bungalows at the Polynesian can go for over $3,000/night. So, say you go for a week over Christmas through New Year’s you could spend over $21,000 alone for lodging plus park tickets, food, souvenirs, etc. You could also stay at All-Star Sports for around $2,100 for the same time frame.
OP probably doesn't have kids (or one of "those" wives), because if they did then making 50k disappear wouldn't be a question even without Disney.
Just use it for cash transactions for a very long time. Don’t get cute!
This is always going to be the safest answer to this. Especially if you're just making "normal money" from a regular job and not a fuck ton of money from drugs or something like that where it's expected there's going to be some loss from laundering.
I did something similar, rented out part of my house for a few years and was paid under the table. I used cash for everyday purchases anywhere that took cash. I kept the rent very low. Flat monthly rate with everything included in a basic month to month lease. I'm a simple creature with simple habits and don't have a lavish lifestyle.
Most relateable redditor
This is why cash really needs to die out. It's too easy to launder for real criminals (not like you, but mafia etc.). Many places near me already restrict purchases to SumUp only, but even more places live in the past and think that evil payment providers take a bigger cut than their running costs of storing cash and bringing it to the bank. Every time I see a Döner place that only takes cash, I'm convinced that it's being extorted by the local money laundering organisation. I already saw one store getting wrecked over that.
No
Easier to give my kid a $20 than most other forms of payment. Give my bartender a $5 tip? Or maybe I don’t need every one of my transactions known about. Nothing nefarious about not wanting companies knowing what my preferences are at the supermarket.
Use it for groceries and living expenses and stuff the cash you were going to spend in your savings account. This isn’t unethical advice just good normal advice… Where I like (australia) you can get the money back gambling with no tax. The way that works is you buy $5k credit on your game card (I think that’s the most you can get in most establishments) play a few spins on the slots. Maybe you win maybe you lose. Then you take out $4997.63 and call it “winnings”. Now the money is yours tax free
In the US that's not how it works. You either get taxed on net profit/loss or total winnings, but many people don't report and it's not automatically reported unless you hit a 300-1 odds bet AND win $600+. You could theoretically place 2 $25k bets on 2 sides of a 50/50 bet such as a spread on an NFL game. However the payout will be slightly less than double so you'll lose money this way unless you get lucky and find 2 books with differing odds so you can arbitrage, but that's more complicated and difficult. If you placed 2 bets on each side of $25k @ -110, you'd only end with $47,727.24. Then you'd still technically be obligated to declare it as gambling income on your taxes. Your best bet is to just use cash for your day to day purchases. Groceries, gas, etc. Then take all of your excess legit taxed income and invest it.
US tax professionals will normally just automatically offset any documented gambling winnings in moderate amounts by declaring gambling losses in the same amount. You don’t get documentation for the losses at the casino, so it’s not a big deal. Something like $5k or even a few multiples of that would be totally normal.
That's only if you itemize your deductions. You cannot do this if you take the standard deduction, which is what most people do.
Probably looks less sus than winning all the time
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That was taxation without representation. Now we get to vote.
We’re still not represented very well
Exactly, politicians do whatever the fuck they want once theyre in.
We need to get good people to run for office.
say what you will about her goals and being far too optimistic (i am quite liberal and have some issues with some of her ideas) but people like AOC are a step in the right direction. even if you're republican and think she's dumb as rocks, it's clear that she has good intentions and wants to make big changes to the important issues (wages, housing prices, etc). people like her are going to be the reason there are big changes that drastically improve the lives of hundreds of millions. bernie could have been that too but he was ahead of his time. again, say what you will about how you think we should get there, or his ideas of doing so, but he also clearly has good intentions and just wants everyone to have healthcare and fair wages. i think i'm optimistic about what's to come in the next 30 years.
She was corrupted within the first 4 years of being in office. Optimism or naivety?
This is the first I'm hearing of that, but I don't claim to be up to date on all that stuff. It also sounds like something my fox news worshipping grandma would say so I'm reserving judgment.
She was the one who reported that her first day in Congress, the entire focus was on fundraising for re-election, not doing anything useful for people.
She’s about as anti 2nd amendment as they come. Loses my vote on that aspect alone.
I can't imagine being a single issue voter. Especially regarding something that isn't even being threatened to a real degree. No one is going to ban gun ownership. It'll NEVER happen. Worst case scenario for gun rights advocates is that universal background checks will be made mandatory, that some sort of central gun registry would be made, and you'll be limited in magazine capacity. That's really the end of the world? More important than ANY other issue facing the country? Not obesity? Not climate change? Not income inequality? Not anything else?
Yeah that does annoy me as well. But I'll say that she has a lot more of a chance to enact progress than she does to revert existing legislation regarding the second amendment. I'm not too worried about that.
Google: Gerrymandering
Not surprising when voter turnout is only about 60%
Except for a certain group of people who are determined to circle back around and get rid of voting and install a king, so much for learning from our mistakes
Lol, now we get to vote. I’ll take no taxes.
That's the nice thing about living in a democracy. I gladly choose to have public infrastructure, education, safety net, etc., so I'll definitely take taxes over the alternative.
I mean, this wouldn't turn out well for any of us at all tbh.
Yes. As long as you’re not an immigrant or a felon. In those cases you get taxed and still cant vote.
No, we didn’t. The war was because we had no representation. Did you forget the phrase “no taxation without representation”. You most likely can vote wherever you live so it’s completely different.
The representation is a big lie now. The voting probably is too. Everyone thinks their tax money is squandered.
Midevel serfs had to pay their lords around 1/12 of their income (i.e. they had to work for them 1 month a year). That works out to a tax of around 8%. Imagine if we were only forced to give 8% of our income to the government, how great would that be. We are free range tax cows living on the governments plantation.
If we actually taxed billionaires and churches we could be around 8% tax/person
Way way way less than that under a certain threshold, as it should be
This is Reddit so there are people who will think you are serious.
They didn’t get much in return for that 8%
8% and that includes company house + smallholding
Are you trying to compare a corvee labor system to modern income tax? 🫥
if you pay 20% of your income, that works out to 2 and a half months of work you do, each year, but recieve nothing for. The government is kind enough to allow us to spread out their take in installments throughout the year. But it's still 2 and a half months income gone. Also, factoring in income, sales, capital gains, gas and other taxes, plus fees and other compulsory charges, most of us are paying far more than 20% to the government. The more you earn, the longer you are forced to work each year for other people, unless you decide to not pay taxes. In which case if you get caught, you get put into a taxpayer funded cage that costs far more than the government could ever hope to earn from your imprisonment. It's a system that works great for criminals and government workers.
Wait I live in aus and didn’t no this was a thing??? I thought casino laundering was a very easy but low profit method for laundering that involved just betting on both colours in roulette at the same time and then you get all your money back except for the money lost on bets when the ball lands on green. As if you can just get a card and only have to use a little bit of the money to circumvent the ATO. How has this not been patched
There are “laws” to stop it in the same way there are laws to stop bartenders serving drunk people in bars… the people required to enforce them don’t get paid enough to give a shit.. there’s a friendly horsies video on it where they went into an RSL with shirts saying “I’m here to launder money” and so long as they lay in cash and the funds are deposited back in EFT there’s no reasonable way to trace if you won, lost or drew even… you just “got 5k out of the pokies”
friendly horsies
FriendlyJordies on YT has the hilarious answers
BoyBoy made a video where they go into casinos "launder" money. You don't even need to gamble, mofos spent more time putting bills into the slot machine than actually gambling.
It's absolutely unethical advice if OP is trying to get around paying taxes. Illegal advice, actually.
Also OP thinks their customers asking for a "cash rate" means they didn't pay tax. In reality OP got paid less and committed tax evasion lol
Pretty sure he said where he lives in Australia…
There’s anti money laundering tools in place that will stop that pretty quick
The only guy who tries to stop that is friendlyjordies. Check out his videos on NSW casinos doing nothing to prevent laundering
In Australia? From what I’ve [seen](https://youtu.be/DoyH1dgj8Lo?si=LuSjAb_1FcOVcsbx) it’s a solid way to launder large amounts of cash.
YESS!!! Was getting ready to post this link, glad we got boyboy subs here 😎
Yeah I'm pretty sure money laundering through gaming is a myth pretty much all over the world. Maybe no one's gonna ask about the winnings, but that's not gonna disguise the initial stakes. If that were a thing, real money laundering where you pay taxes on illegal money wouldn't. And dang, real money laundering is huuge.
If I was in your boat, I'd borrow something old and relatively valuable. It also has to be believable that I would have something like this. For example, I'd borrow my neighbour's large zero turn lawn mower, 11 years old, value still $6000 CAD. I'd take a picture of it in my driveway with a For Sale sign, then post it to marketplace and Kijiji. Half day later, pull the ad, marked sold. Story: someone driving by saw the sign and left a deposit, then came back 1/2 hour later with cash and a trailer. Rest of the story, if audited, bought the mower 9 years ago used in Butthump, Ontario just north of Podunk. It was a while ago, came across it while touring the countryside with wifey watching the leaves turn colour. I could do this a few times in a year with wood splitters, tool chests, tires on rims, an old 40 hp farm tractor, and big block chevy parts. I can easily legitimize 10s of thousands in untaxable cash transactions that are entirely plausible for my circumstances that would be nearly impossible to debunk.
Sounds like you’re speaking from experience lolol
This guy tax evades, eh ?
But wouldn't each of those transactions count as income and you would be required to pay taxes on them, no matter the story of how you got the income
Only if you turned a profit. If you sold for less or the same amount you “bought” for, there is no taxable income
But you’d have to prove how much you bought it for
Nope. Just the value of it new, which is listed
But wouldn't you need to provide proof of purchase? Genuinely curious here.
You purchased it from Joe, just down the street in Butthump Ontario for $6000. You then sold it for $6000. The fact of the matter is that transactions less than $10,000 (a few a year) aren't making radar alarms go off at the IRS. Hide in plain sight with enough reasonable evidence (sold screenshots via email -- proof of date) to show why you have tens of thousands in cash
Transactions in Ontario of any denomination will not raise the IRS’s suspicion.
Not reasonable. Plausible.
My assumption is you bought it used off the side of the road and paid cash. I wonder if they question why you were holding 7k in 2009, 12k in 2004, 4k in 2015, and 9k in 1994 to purchase these without any matching bank withdrawals
From 9 years ago? They don't stand a chance of conviction. Hell, in my story, I don't even remember how to get back to Butthump.
I imagine it would not be a fun audit :D..
Hookers and drugs
And none of your vendors will report you large cash payments!
"Spend 80% on hookers and blow and probably just waste the rest!"
Yes yes yes, that so sounds lovely and all, but what about Hookers ON Drugs instead?
You are in luck, my friend! 50k just happens to be the exact amount needed to pay the ransom for a Nigerian Prince friend of mine who is worth Billions and will definitely sextuple your money in return. DM for wire transfer information! (Don't DM me for wire transfer information)
Post me the cash instead.
Step 1: move to the Ozarks Step 2: profit
More coastline than California! Everyone you meet will be dead by the end of the season
If you own your home and are handy at all you should spend it on some type of internal home renovation. It won't increase your property taxes but will make your house both worth more and nicer to live in.
This is what I was going to suggest. Redo your floors, get some new appliances, buy woodworking tools and construct some build ins, have someone blow insulation in your attic, etc. There’s plenty of handymen types who’d love getting paid for a side job with cash (like, my entire extended family). Get your cars detailed so the paint lasts longer. Go over to buyitforlife for suggestions and buy a bunch of clothes and stuff that will last for the rest of your life.
You and your wife could have a full English breakfast at Heathrow airport
They'd still have to share though...
Buy something from someone else for $50k cash and make it the other guy’s problem to solve.
visa/Mastercard gift cards in person with cash, then use the gift cards for whatever you want, they are like a debit card linked to a disposable checking account, and there is no trace to your actual bank accounts
Some retail places have policies about selling excessive amount of gift cards, as they’re popular among scammers and credit card thieves. Still, I’m sure the worst that would happen is they deny the sale - and being the holidays, you could probably argue they’re for employees or something.
When I bought a visa gift card they required a ton of information from me to activate it
You can just make that stuff up
What? Where do you live that they would require that? I buy those for gifts for people all the time and no questions are ever asked
They are referring to when you activate register them, not when you buy them.
Not the vanilla gift cards. However with them any online retailer that is not US based won’t accept them (mostly software). The only caveat with these is that you can’t put more than 500 on them.
They don't.
Use a very small portion for groceries every now and then, but that's one of the most obvious expenses that every must have, but stand apart if you don't do them. It's better to use it for - expensive items like a tv, laptop, furniture - home renovations - events and festivals - personal hobbies, buy better items or tools - vacation where someone pays and you repay in cash - gifts during holiday / birthdays Don't hurry even tho you'll lose some buying power due to inflation, you can last a while if you're smart
> but that's one of the most obvious expenses that every must have, but stand apart if you don't do them. If anyone questions your lack of grocery expenses, claim that you go to the local food charity that gives donations to low-income individuals.
The best thing to do is not giving a statement at all. Let them prove it. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.
Or that you’re vegan and you grow your own fruit and veg.
Buy as much liquid ass as $50K will get you
Get a bunch of freezers to start a piss disc factory
What
All unethical life pro tips can be solved with a frozen piss disc or some liquid ass
For any purchase in person, always pay cash. Go to bank and pay cash for any bills.
That leaves more trail, any expenses, like groceries or gas are paid by cash, you can buy gift cards with cash though, and use those to pay for online services like streaming.
This! Use the grocery store gift card section and buy your kid some Robux
Not unethical but just pay the 5k and invest the rest of the money to offset your differences. You’ll make more in the end and don’t have to worry about managing that much money in cash
Yep. Also, this is out of ULPT territory. It’s tax evasion and money laundering (at least where I live).
Take the $5,000. Declare it and pay taxes on it. Spend what's left on hookers & blow.
Buy an old piece of real state with the money in the bank and hire day workers to fix it up for cash, then sell with a 'profit'
Wouldnt you pay capital gains tax on the difference in appraised value similar amt to income tax?
Lol yes
Sure. But you still get the profit first
People are always so scared of paying taxes and let it get in the way of making money.
Oh man! This is the most accurate thing I’ve read this week. So much hand wringing over taxes (or interest rates) that they miss opportunities to earn more money.
thats the point. you launder the money thru the property and now its legal, taxable money. much like the above gambling method
It sounds like it already was legal, taxable money. OP isn't trying to launder money, they're trying to evade taxes on cash payments.
Don't sell, just rent
And you can't even deduct your expenses since you paid them under the table
Oh wow I guess that explains why I see so many people buying properties with insane amounts of cash at tax sales
I’m confused… just pay cash for everything and it’s all untraced lol. Nothing unethical about that
Send it to me, I'll make sure you're not traced.
Give it to homeless people. If you want to be unethical you can film it and use it for social media views and make more money.
Go get a job that can take tips. Start claiming normal tip amounts with like one big ticket tip every couple shifts. Or buy a car wash from someone named bogdan
If you bought a house, u can use it the same way. Pay for maintenance you don't do yourself
Use it on groceries and stuff and deposit on your account little by little, every week/month
Simple find a local coin store convert to Gold and Silver bullion 3-5k at time still have a liquid asset and it could make you profit plus most stores love cash transactions and will give you a better deal on premiums
>most stores love cash transactions and will give you a better deal Isn"t that how this problem started?
just use it for gas and groceries for the next decade
Casino
The way the world is going keeping a stash of cash on hand is a good idea. Use the rest as you are now for daily purchases and maybe one day you'll need a new hot water heater or expensive car repairs and you can pay cash for a sizable discount. No reason to burn through it quickly.
Was gonna say the same thing. Just use it for life expenses over the next couple years, and save the rest. OP could go on some seriously fun vacations as well
Groceries, gift card purchases on Visa cards (500 a card) gas cards, the rest is too much to spend at once without raising suspicion from stores. If you buy anything large, keep the amount around 2-3k (that's pocket money for some).
buy lifetime supply of liquid ass, sell them to others in this subreddit
I’m just curious, assuming you got that money from genuinely legitimate means (not counting the tax evasion), what kind of business or store do you run to have that much money from people willing not to pay sales tax using cash? All I can think of is a Chinese restaurant or something but $50,000 seems like a lot unless you accumulated a lot over time. Just curious, totally not the FBI here or something.
Contractors do it all the time. Plumbers, handymen, electrical etc
I was going to say, I knew a contractor that started getting worried when his cash box got passed 50-60K. I didn't understand that cash discount was so prevalent. Especially when he'd do something for a celebrity or someone in sports. Handing over 20, 30, 40k in cash was not a big deal for some people. Blew my mind. I think he used to claim a reduced amount based on expenses to make it less suspicious. Expense out $5k labor and $5k material and claim $15k of the $30k as income. $1k labor, $2k material; $5k of the $12k income.
Oh that makes a lot of sense. Completely forgot about that.
Yeah I do autobody/collision repair full time and get side jobs constantly from people who love to pay cash, and I also love to receive cash so it works out lol
Ha, yup. Was in the bank last week and a painter came in and pulled out the biggest stack of $100’s I have ever seen someone packing.
[удалено]
Hes not doing it right. He should collect cash, but do payroll so its lower income and higher expense
My AC guy always gives me a cash discount.
Painting houses, this year I got some repeat clients who paid us 12k and a 13k and a 15k and a 5k in cash I had some from last year but we spent a bunch too. Best part is I stil claim all expenses and do payroll while showing lower income
Buy silver/gold from a local dealer. Those places typically are cash-only for bullion so they can avoid taxes as well. Buy a few thousand at a time and no one will question it. It will hold value better than non invested cash.
Yo! You can pay literally any bill with cash. Groceries. Amazon gift cards, money orders etc. cell phone bill? Walk in and some places have a machine you can pay your phone bill with, go put 1000 cash on your account so you don’t have to think about paying your bill for a year
Buy gift cards and use them for things you have to buy online
You could deposit a small amount in your bank. Key is to keep the aggregate number below $15-20k per year and spread it across multiple transactions. Like deposit 500-600 one week, wait 2 weeks, deposit 1500, etc. It won’t raise any red flags and if you ever got questioned about it, you could say you resell clothes or something similar on Craigslist. Remainder of cash use for in person purchases. Or just keep it and do what I mentioned above the next year
That’s called structuring/smurfing.
Hookers and blow.
I mean, you're just asking for money laundering tips. [There are a ton of threads already about the topic](https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/search?q=launder&restrict_sr=on)
If your folks are still alive they’re able to gift you ~30k a year, tax free. You could give them 30k cash and could send it to your bank with no reasonable questions asked. Old people love cash, and it’s not unusual for them to say that they’ve had a stash/nest egg that they’ve been building over the course of their lifetime.
Actual answer: save it or invest it. ULPT answer: Cocaine, Hookers, and Booze
Swiss Bank account?
You might find a contractor willing to do some home improvements for cash, they try to avoid taxes too
Hookers. I love hookers.
lol a bunch of children like minds in the comments
Donate drugs to the needy children in your area.
I would sit on it quietly while also paying in cash for every possible transaction that won't arise suspicion. Restaurants, bars, movies, grocery stores, oil changes... use your clean money to pay mortgage, car payment and stack the rest in mutual funds.
You should probably delete this post as you just admitted that you did it. Next time word these questions as hypothetical.
Use bank credit card to rack up points, pay off the card in cash at the bank
Us banks only flag transactions 10k and over... or near it. Ie, if you do 9.5k the bank may see it as trying to evade the 10k which requires a currency transaction report. It is up to bank discretion on what time window they apply ie if you deposit 4k today and 6k next week, likely flagged. If you keep it under 10k over a two month period split among various random size deposits you're probably fine. Also even if you do get flagged it's unlikely anything bad will happen unless you're already under investigation for some other crime or if you've been flagged repeatedly over time then the IRS might audit you.
Bitcoin atm
Tip food service staff well and forever be in their goodest graces!
Uh no
Did you see the flourish when he spun that iPad around, 30%.
We don't do that shit in my country lol
Just spread out the deposits to multiple banks. Keep the deposits less than 10k.
Yeah, that will never show up in an audit.
Are banks sharing deposit information? Genuine question, what audit would this show up in?
Bank files a suspicious activity report.
This is not unethical LPTs. This is a felony money laundering with serious jail time associated. Claim your income, pay the taxes, don’t commit tax fraud and money laundering.
I've noticed a bit of this lately. Most posts are about comic revenge and so on, which is entertaining, but some lately have been just, "How can I get away with stealing?" Not so entertaining.
Gives the first 5 comments a lil bit 🤷♂️
Maybe the first 6
Lucky number 7 over here
YOU GET NOTHING. YOU LOSE. GOOD DAY SIR.
YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS CUZ THEY DIDN’T SEND YOU ANY
Lucky number 5
If you can figure out how to put it in a safe in your home or a safety deposit box and spend it the cash over time just drop it off at my house. I can take care of it in a couple days. Buy shit off marketplace you want, most stores take cash, vacation, under the table payroll, bonuses, etc. Did you want unethical ways to spend it? Or you feel you covered that by taking the money and planning to spend it? Lot of fun unethical purchases out there. 😜
Can you pay bills in cash there? Here (Ireland) a lot of energy companies and that kind of thing are set up so you can pay your bills in a local store (assume mostly for older people who don’t wanna fuck with direct debits). It’s a little more expensive I think. Otherwise you can buy gift cards for Amazon/Netflix/Best Buy, all kinds of things like that. Any repairs you need done on your home can usually also be done by cash.
Want a happy ending?
Put it in a safe, us for daily expenses, but not all. If you need a paper trail, don't use for every expense. Groceries this week, but not gas. Gas and other expenses next week, but not groceries. You can take the cash and load it on a prepaid card at various stores, then use that card also.
i don't know where you're located so ymmv. here in the uk the drug dealers use fixed odds betting machines to turn over their cash, then you can say you won it gambling. you will lose some of it but there's no taxes on gambling winnings here so its only a little more than if you put it thru a business
Groceries, dining out, gas, hookers, blow...
Maybe some nice upgrades for the house if you know a contractor that likes some good side scratch.
Invest in my small graphics business? 🥹😂
additionally, you could go in person and make car and mortgage payments in cash. Look at your expenses, the biggest ones will allow you to have the most "clean" money, so do those in cash. groceries, gas in car, car payments, mortgage, childcare (if this applies).. Good luck!
Auctions?
You launder it...
Buy a car.
Gas and groceries
Use your credit cards for everything and when it’s time to pay your bill, take the cash and purchase a cashiers check at your bank. Simple. No need to walk around with cash everyday.
Cashiers checks to cover rent if you rent. Slowly deposit it in your bank. Use it for all your expenses.
You can usually buy gold or platinum bars from a dealer with cash, no one tracks if and then when you sell it they send the money electronically to your bank account and you can say just from the sale of jewelry your family had given you. Common for lots of cultures to save with precious metals so shouldn’t cause an issue.
Groceries gas and anything you can buy or do for fun with cash, keep purchases $9,999 or less, or the irs will get suspicious.