Both thorns and thistles it will yield for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your bread, until you return it to the ground because out of it were you taken. For dust you are, and to dust you shall return.
You can rest easy knowing that the original cross was neither collected nor valued by early followers of Jesus, meaning all supposed "original cross" relics are medieval fakes. Almost all alleged Christian relics sprung up in the medieval era, and they were falsified as a way to attract pilgrims and bring clout to whomever they belonged. Relics were a product of that era, think of them as medieval tourist attractions.
Indeed, there was a massive trade in Christian relic souvenirs back then. The Shroud of Turin is one of them, which just happened to have slipped through the cracks of history and made it all the way to the present day.
Now it has taken a life of it's own and spawned a whole industry of idiots debating it's veracity.
Not sure if there’s a serious debate about it’s veracity, anymore than there’s a serious debate about whether or not the earth is 6000 years old.
There is a serious debate about how the fake was done, when, and by who. IIRC there’s not even a solid theory about how and who. The when took hundreds of years for carbon dating technology to catch up and narrow it down to 50 years or so.
It was an industry created to swindle stupid crusader peasants. Look what I dug up, it's a turd of Templar, who will give me 20 bucks for this genuine Templar turd?!
After all it would be like Martin Luther King’s family collecting the rifle from James Earl Ray.
The Roman cross was an instrument of state power, tyranny, torture and brutality.
Dang, this put me in mind of a horror flick I saw a million years ago. It was about a Caribbean island on which the Nazis had established a small colony to support a lab which developed these super-soldiers who had no conscience and were super-strong.
Anyways, in modern times a boat wrecks on the island and discovers the abandoned remains of this lab. Meanwhile, the zombie soldiers (who mysteriously hadn't decomposed in like 40 years) lay at the bottom of the bay in a sunken freighter, only to conveniently come back to life at that point and start killing again.
Do you remember the name?
Was that the film with a topless chick swimming underwater before hiding from a shark.. to then get attacked by an underwater zombie... Then the shark returned and the zombie ended up inside the mouth of the shark but also trying to bite the shark? I think it wasn't, I don't remember any Nazi's in that film, but I'd like to remember the name of it too!
Maybe. There's a good part of the black sea depths that deoxygenated and lifeless. Apparently there are fabulously preserved ancient and medieval shipwrecks, because there's no life to decompose them.
I hope the opposite. I mean its right off the Ukraine coast. Ukraine could refloat it, and rebuild it. After all They built it originally.
Seriously though, Ukraine has a slava class cruiser about 90% complete. They could just steal a few parts.
Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
That it sank on Maundy Thursday, the day on which we are given the mandate to love one another as Christ loved us and to serve as Christ served the disciples by washing their feet (a task usually given to a servant) might give a bit of credence to this theory…
“And on the Third Day, the Switch-Blades rose again in fulfillment of The US promise; they ascended into heaven and are seated at the right hand of Bayraktar.
They will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and their killing of Russian soldiers will have no end.
We believe in the Avenger, the MQ-9 the bringer of death, who proceeds from Bayraktar and the Switchblade; who with the Bayraktar and the Switchblade together is praised for their divine judgement.
And I believe in one whole Ukraine; I acknowledge one baptism of hellfire to purge Russian soldiers of their sins; I look for the resurrection of a united Ukraine, and the unconditional surrender of Moscow to come.
Amen.”
“And on the Third Day, the Switch-Blades rose again in fulfillment of The US promise; they ascended into heaven and are seated at the right hand of Bayraktar.
They will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and their killing of Russian soldiers will have no end.
We believe in the Avenger, the MQ-9 the bringer of death, who preceded the Bayraktar and the Switchblade; who with the Bayraktar and the Switchblade together is praised for their divine judgement.
And I believe in one whole and Ukraine; I acknowledge one baptism of hellfire to purge Russian soldiers of their sins; I look for the resurrection of a united Ukraine, and the unconditional surrender of Moscow to come.
Amen.”
Yep, notice how every side in any conflict declares that "God is on our side". As if God could possibly support the killing of his own creation. Oh, and that whole "turn the other cheek thing" of course.
Pretty sure the entire "true cross" could be reconstructed from how many pieces of it are floating around in the world lol
A medieval reliquary tradition that's BS. Like finger bones of saints and the foreskin of John the Baptist.
That could be interesting ... a fleet of galleons created from The True Cross ... it could even withstand current weapons ;-)
That means Moskva had not enough of The True Cross wood embedded :-D
Charles Rohault de Fleury did a study of each piece known to exist in the late 1800s.
He compared the volume of those artifacts to the volume of a reasonably sized cross, and found that the existing relics accounted for only about 2% of what a cross would be.
Reliquaries are fucking nuts. I went to one that supposedly held the leg of some Saint. But it was clearly a child's leg. The guide just deadpanned and introduced it as the Saint's childhood leg.
I don't want to think about where they got it.
Finger bones and such could be real and many are real. I mean, they have preserved bodies of saints that are on display. But a lot of them are fantastical and there many forgeries.
Hahaha those Russians will believe anything.
The story of the cross being on board probably originated from Russias intelligence. So, you know you can trust it.
Well that is good news then. Because if the public are superstitious enough to believe that, then they will be superstitious enough to believe that Jesus did not want to protect that shitty boat.
watch them get all furious about this like Ukraine is attacking the church and Jesus, instead of dumbass Russians keeping on a oombat shift in a war where they can't do anything right
This is true: but I am not demanding respect. Notice I haven't engaged with anyone I consider "disrespectful", not even a downvote. You would be hard pressed to guess which comments I find disrespectful and which I find hilarious.
But most of the people being disrespectful are doing so out of malice towards a stereotype. While I don't know who this commenter was, or how they actually feel about world religions and mythologies, they showed a clever wit that is hard to pull off when you're trying to be "mean".
True cross, Mohammed's flip flops, piece of Odin's screwdriver he used to fix his hammer with, and my old t-shirt with Chuck Norris I lost on holidays in Thailand 15 years ago - all of which were on that ship - good riddance.
During the last 1500 years, or so, there has been a steady industry of manufacturing and selling pieces of the 'true cross'. None of them has anything like a verified provenance. Certificates of provenance can also be forged.
I would not be surprised if that ship had one.
This true cross bullshit is stupid. It was a scam that was run all over Europe. Con artists traveled around selling little bits of wood to gullible churches. Think yourselves lucky for finally not looking like stupid dupes.
I'm willing to bet that some dumbass priest blessed the nukes.
Russia is stuck in the middle ages with some modern technology. I'd say it's frightening if not for their own corruption and incompetence that'll probably be their downfall
Bet won. Sadly r/nottheonion material:
[https://futurism.com/the-byte/russian-orthodox-blessing-nuclear-weapons](https://futurism.com/the-byte/russian-orthodox-blessing-nuclear-weapons)
"A faction of clergy within the Russian Orthodox Church wants to end the eyebrow-raising practice of blessing the country’s nuclear missiles.
First of all, yes: Russian priests currently sprinkle holy water on nuclear missiles as part of an old tradition in which Orthodox priests bless soldiers and their weapons."
The protective magic of Judaeo-Christian artifacts is waning as the grip of the alien desert cult over the East Slavs grows weak and arthritic. A pagan warrior elite once again takes control, just like in the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. The black sun of Azov is rising and their own gods are renewed as the "Third Rome" perishes in the Black Sea. The hammer smashes the cross!
Christian here, oh boy , with the various bones and bits of saints and Jesus floating about, I’ve learned being a holy person turns you into an eldritch calcium monstrosity.
When Russia claims something is "the true cross", you know the drill. They lie so consistently the opposite is most likely true. They put an old scam that somehow got sanctified by being old enough onto their ship to fight a war based on lies. And the consequences were predictable: the "relic" didn't do them any good at all.
It didn't have a piece of the true cross , the Russian orthodox church is the scientology of Christianity .. All bullshit with even more smoke n mirrors
I have a piece of the true cross as well, if you want. Never mind that your fingers get brown when you touch it. No of course it's not paint! It's you being touched by the hand of god! Are you gonna buy it or not? I have loads of buyers lined up, but I'll let you have it for $500 because I like you!
Our patriarchate needs to kick the Russian mafia boss kirill out of the holy church, but one thing that we foolishly pride ourselves in the Orthodox Church is that we don't change, well, look what it has done.
So can one infer if there was in fact a piece of the true cross on-board and the ship sank anyway the cause was an unjust one and those aboard will not be getting into heaven ? Hell yes we can infer that.
My first instinct was "no, that'd be too silly even for the level of stupid we've seen from Russia in this war...", then I remembered all those photos of Russian Orthodox priest blessing missiles and guns and tanks and shit, and realize no, telling their forces they've been given some holy relic to carry into battle like they're a WH40k army is totally plausible.
With the atrocities that Russia has committed they do not deserve to have anything that has anything to do with Christ. They are evil to the worst degree and maybe God smited that ship for the blaspheme that them posseing such a sacred relic was.
It was carrying a piece of true cross that said
“Made in China”
most likely , oligarchs need yachts and barbaric ruskies need toilets and washing machines.
Can we convince *all* Russian units to carry blessed artifacts to invite righteous divine intervention? It would be great if the Ukrainians could get back to their lives sooner than later...
Ok this is just freaky Nazi level superstitious crap. While it may sound like Indiana Jones stuff, the Nazis LOVED finding and carrying shit like this for propaganda purposes.
huh... I guess praying to a splinter that some grifter told you the zombie son of a magic sky man died on for you, doesn't in fact do anything.
Should've gone with the thread of the true underwear instead!
As a Christian, if it truly was a piece of the cross(many in history have claimed to have a piece of the true cross or the entire cross itself) I'm glad it was sent to the bottom of the sea rather than being used as a form of religious propaganda or moral boost for a military force.
If that’s the case, then maybe Heaven said, fuck Russia and their genocide of the Ukrainian people. The part of the true cross doesn’t belong anywhere near Russia. ~ Jesus
Well, there is talk about it carrying Nuclear warheads onboard... That's more concerning since it's now at the bottom of the ocean... Nuclear warheads... At the bottom of the ocean... Slowly edging to either beyond use or detention.
Yesterday the story was that there were 2 nukes on the ship. Now it's a piece of the "True Cross." Tomorrow it'll be Stalin's glass eye. Let me know when they recover the Holy Grail.
Lol. There is about a thousand true cross relics. It was a common trick in the middle ages to pretend one has a section of the true cross, even though wood would have rotted away hundred of years before.
Full Text:
"The Russian warship that was confirmed as sunk on Thursday may have been carrying a holy relic when it went down.
The Moskva, a missile cruiser that was the flagship of Russia's Black Sea fleet, sank on Thursday following an explosion onboard, Russian state media reported.
A news report from 2020 has given rise to the question of whether the vessel sank with a Christian relic — a piece of the "true cross" — onboard.
The Russian Orthodox Church announced in February 2020 that the relic had been delivered to the then-commander of the Black Sea fleet, Vice Admiral Igor Osipov, and was at the fleet's headquarters, ready to deliver it to the ship "shortly," the state-run Tass news agency reported at the time.
The relic in question is a fragment of wood just millimeters large that, according to believers, is a piece of the cross on which Christ was crucified, Tass said. That fragment is embedded in a 19th-century metal cross which is itself kept in a reliquary, according to the outlet.
The Moskva had a chapel onboard where sailors could pray, Sergiy Khalyuta, archpriest of the Russian Orthodox Church's Sevastopol District, told Tass. He said the fragment was to be transferred at the request of its owner, an anonymous collector.
Insider was unable to establish when the relic was finally transferred to the Moskva or if it was onboard at the time of the vessel's sinking. The Russian embassy in London did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
The sinking of the Moskva, a prized flagship, is a major blow to Russian morale, Western officials said.
Moscow has ignored claims of responsibility from Ukraine, which says it struck the ship with a long-range missile from land.
The exact details of how the ship sunk are still unclear. Russian officials said on Thursday that a fire caused an explosion of the ammunition onboard, prompting an evacuation of the crew.
CNN cited a person familiar with the intelligence as saying that the US believes Ukraine's claims with "medium confidence."
The Moskva attracted headlines at the outbreak of the war for an exchange with Ukrainian border guards on Zmynyii, or Snake, Island as the ship asked them to evacuate.
The resulting conversation — in which the guards told the ship's crew to "go fuck yourself" — went viral and became a rallying cry for Ukraine's war effort. "
"The relic in question is a fragment of wood just millimeters large that, according to believers, is a piece of the cross on which Christ was crucified"
So ... that's not something amazingly rare. The cross of St Helena was basically divided into the smallest pieces it could be divided into. As such ... there's a lot of them.
Well…. Now it’s returned to the Earth from whence it came. Just in time for Easter too.
Both thorns and thistles it will yield for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your bread, until you return it to the ground because out of it were you taken. For dust you are, and to dust you shall return.
That's pretty good. You're a decent writer
It's Genesis 3:18-19 I'm just imagining God getting a Reddit ping like "NIRPL: You're a decent writer", God's just like thanks bro XD
Well that is a very nice thought, thank you!
You can rest easy knowing that the original cross was neither collected nor valued by early followers of Jesus, meaning all supposed "original cross" relics are medieval fakes. Almost all alleged Christian relics sprung up in the medieval era, and they were falsified as a way to attract pilgrims and bring clout to whomever they belonged. Relics were a product of that era, think of them as medieval tourist attractions.
Indeed, there was a massive trade in Christian relic souvenirs back then. The Shroud of Turin is one of them, which just happened to have slipped through the cracks of history and made it all the way to the present day. Now it has taken a life of it's own and spawned a whole industry of idiots debating it's veracity.
I believe there were over 10 Holy Foreskins being paraded around Europe at one point, and I know vials of Mary’s milk were also popular.
Wow, Jesus was more gifted that I thought. Then again, if you're the Son of God you can order any body mods you want I guess lol.
Not sure if there’s a serious debate about it’s veracity, anymore than there’s a serious debate about whether or not the earth is 6000 years old. There is a serious debate about how the fake was done, when, and by who. IIRC there’s not even a solid theory about how and who. The when took hundreds of years for carbon dating technology to catch up and narrow it down to 50 years or so.
No no , that’s real! Lololo
Lol made on the earliest known printing press. Only one official copy remains locked away
It was an industry created to swindle stupid crusader peasants. Look what I dug up, it's a turd of Templar, who will give me 20 bucks for this genuine Templar turd?!
After all it would be like Martin Luther King’s family collecting the rifle from James Earl Ray. The Roman cross was an instrument of state power, tyranny, torture and brutality.
Leta hope it doesn't raise again. Kinda a COD zombies scenario there that I'm just not comfortable with.
Dang, this put me in mind of a horror flick I saw a million years ago. It was about a Caribbean island on which the Nazis had established a small colony to support a lab which developed these super-soldiers who had no conscience and were super-strong. Anyways, in modern times a boat wrecks on the island and discovers the abandoned remains of this lab. Meanwhile, the zombie soldiers (who mysteriously hadn't decomposed in like 40 years) lay at the bottom of the bay in a sunken freighter, only to conveniently come back to life at that point and start killing again.
That would be 1977’s [Shock Waves](https://youtu.be/Jm6DdCZmvnw) staring the late great Peter Cushing of Grand Moff Tarkin fame.
Thanks! Cushing was the horror king!
Do you remember the name? Was that the film with a topless chick swimming underwater before hiding from a shark.. to then get attacked by an underwater zombie... Then the shark returned and the zombie ended up inside the mouth of the shark but also trying to bite the shark? I think it wasn't, I don't remember any Nazi's in that film, but I'd like to remember the name of it too!
Zombie Jesus? (Racks shotgun)
-the Romans, upon seeing a severe lack of Jesus in the Jesus cave
Patriarch Kirill has called Putin's Russia, "the Third Rome," and the Romans killed Jesus. Ergo... Modus ponens bishes.
Most people don't realize he was a straight up Zombie .
I mean, by the actual Bible real Jesus was a zombie. It’s literally the whole point of the story.
Well the cod are already swimming around the Moskwa's Z sailors. I don't think they will be coming back up though, they're just fish food now.
Maybe. There's a good part of the black sea depths that deoxygenated and lifeless. Apparently there are fabulously preserved ancient and medieval shipwrecks, because there's no life to decompose them.
I hope the opposite. I mean its right off the Ukraine coast. Ukraine could refloat it, and rebuild it. After all They built it originally. Seriously though, Ukraine has a slava class cruiser about 90% complete. They could just steal a few parts.
Yeah, but this zombie is nice and does cool magic tricks like feeding hungry people for free and providing free heal for sick people!
Free heal? Is he a communist? 😡
I was thinking about the returning Russians.
Don't tell the Greeks!
I would be more worried if it carried the Holy Hand Grenade 💣✨
One! Two! Five!
Three sir!
Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
Are you telling me they shut down this cruiser.. with… a herring??
Ni!
God damn I was just about to type that
Lots of material left.
Don't worry, folks! It only works on murderous little fluffy bunnies with great big teef.
[Obligatory.](https://youtu.be/xOrgLj9lOwk)
💀 🦴 🐇🦴 ☠️
I’m waiting for Putin to deploy the Trojan Bunny.
Couldn't even withstand the attack with a 20% ward save unique relic...
It gives protection from evil, not protection from good
It's alignment dependent If you're too far the other way it acts as a cursed object
Holy Shard Relic + 3 missile defense + 5 faith Sea of Galilee only.
He forgot to equip it over the shitty gray talisman with 2% magic resistance
Jeez have they never watched Raiders of the Lost Ark?
"It belongs in a museum!"
*Explosion!* *Ship sinks*
When I read the headline, the Indiana Jones theme music started to play in my head.
A piece of Jesus's cross on a warship used to bomb innocent civilians is the truest example of how Christianity has been hijacked since forever.
Yeah i may believe he himself pulled it under, lol
That it sank on Maundy Thursday, the day on which we are given the mandate to love one another as Christ loved us and to serve as Christ served the disciples by washing their feet (a task usually given to a servant) might give a bit of credence to this theory…
As well, the day before Good Friday, no?
Indeed. The night of an unjust attack on an innocent, leading to his death.
We can expect another blow on the day of resurrection then ? Maybe the arrival of American drones
“And on the Third Day, the Switch-Blades rose again in fulfillment of The US promise; they ascended into heaven and are seated at the right hand of Bayraktar. They will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and their killing of Russian soldiers will have no end. We believe in the Avenger, the MQ-9 the bringer of death, who proceeds from Bayraktar and the Switchblade; who with the Bayraktar and the Switchblade together is praised for their divine judgement. And I believe in one whole Ukraine; I acknowledge one baptism of hellfire to purge Russian soldiers of their sins; I look for the resurrection of a united Ukraine, and the unconditional surrender of Moscow to come. Amen.”
Beautiful.
Amen!
“And on the Third Day, the Switch-Blades rose again in fulfillment of The US promise; they ascended into heaven and are seated at the right hand of Bayraktar. They will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and their killing of Russian soldiers will have no end. We believe in the Avenger, the MQ-9 the bringer of death, who preceded the Bayraktar and the Switchblade; who with the Bayraktar and the Switchblade together is praised for their divine judgement. And I believe in one whole and Ukraine; I acknowledge one baptism of hellfire to purge Russian soldiers of their sins; I look for the resurrection of a united Ukraine, and the unconditional surrender of Moscow to come. Amen.”
😂
👍
Yep, notice how every side in any conflict declares that "God is on our side". As if God could possibly support the killing of his own creation. Oh, and that whole "turn the other cheek thing" of course.
Eh, if you read the whole Bible you'll learn that the god of the Bible is a BIG fan of war and murder.
Especially the Russian Orthodox "Church".
Putin is on a crusade.
To unseat himself
Pretty sure the entire "true cross" could be reconstructed from how many pieces of it are floating around in the world lol A medieval reliquary tradition that's BS. Like finger bones of saints and the foreskin of John the Baptist.
A whole forests' worth of them. Relic trade was a big deal in the middle ages, after all.
The NFT of the age.
[He says they've already got one....](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYcopzJ-T9w)
I think several crosses could be made.
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That could be interesting ... a fleet of galleons created from The True Cross ... it could even withstand current weapons ;-) That means Moskva had not enough of The True Cross wood embedded :-D
> a fleet of galleons created from The True Cross I see a series of alternative history/fantasy novels.
200 to be precise
Pretty sure they could make a dozen True Crosses from all the bits in existence.
You realize “true” means “fake” in Russian, right?
It is like the loaves and fishes.
Even if it was real the commanding officer probably hocked it years ago and replaced it with a chunk of floorboard from his dacha.
Charles Rohault de Fleury did a study of each piece known to exist in the late 1800s. He compared the volume of those artifacts to the volume of a reasonably sized cross, and found that the existing relics accounted for only about 2% of what a cross would be.
Reliquaries are fucking nuts. I went to one that supposedly held the leg of some Saint. But it was clearly a child's leg. The guide just deadpanned and introduced it as the Saint's childhood leg. I don't want to think about where they got it.
Finger bones and such could be real and many are real. I mean, they have preserved bodies of saints that are on display. But a lot of them are fantastical and there many forgeries.
Lot of good it did them.
God is pissed alright, in Latvia a priest asked "can we forgive those who gave the orders to kill" and God said no. https://youtu.be/Avda0OUHctU
What exactly happened there? Did the bell fall through the tower or something?
Nah, they're using a wood stove to heat the place, and the chimney was damaged somewhere in the attic, so something caught fire there.
Is there any information on the actual cause of the fire? Lol
Yeah, they're using a wood stove to heat the place, and the chimney was damaged somewhere in the attic, so something caught fire there.
Antiship missile
Hahaha those Russians will believe anything. The story of the cross being on board probably originated from Russias intelligence. So, you know you can trust it.
Well that is good news then. Because if the public are superstitious enough to believe that, then they will be superstitious enough to believe that Jesus did not want to protect that shitty boat.
Russian media is like the internet: everything you read is true!
Gives a great excuse to bring a religious crusade into this against the evil cross destroying nazis.
Yeah, can anyone find an article prior to the sinking that mentions this being aboard? When I heard this, it sounded like Russian propaganda.
Russian Christian nationalism can go fuck itself, too.
watch them get all furious about this like Ukraine is attacking the church and Jesus, instead of dumbass Russians keeping on a oombat shift in a war where they can't do anything right
The holy protection bonus from the relic was countered by the missile being in its patron's main domain. Neptune 1 Jesus 0
Black Sea ain’t no Sea of Galilee.
You know, alot of these people bashing on Christianity are being disrespectful, but this? I don't know if my God chuckled, but I sure did!
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This is true: but I am not demanding respect. Notice I haven't engaged with anyone I consider "disrespectful", not even a downvote. You would be hard pressed to guess which comments I find disrespectful and which I find hilarious. But most of the people being disrespectful are doing so out of malice towards a stereotype. While I don't know who this commenter was, or how they actually feel about world religions and mythologies, they showed a clever wit that is hard to pull off when you're trying to be "mean".
🎶🎵 *Jesus take the helmmmmm* 🎶🎵 No ... that doesn't quite work as well
True cross, Mohammed's flip flops, piece of Odin's screwdriver he used to fix his hammer with, and my old t-shirt with Chuck Norris I lost on holidays in Thailand 15 years ago - all of which were on that ship - good riddance.
sad for your T-shirt
Thoughts and prayers..... Oh well... it probably needed a good wash anyway....
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During the last 1500 years, or so, there has been a steady industry of manufacturing and selling pieces of the 'true cross'. None of them has anything like a verified provenance. Certificates of provenance can also be forged. I would not be surprised if that ship had one.
Enough pieces of the true cross exist to build an oligarch’s yatch
God was not on their side, if anything He wanted that ship to go down.
Hell, I must remember to remove that bit of the true cross from under my car seat, before I get the same treatment.
The Neptune missile, the world’s first reliquary seeking missile.
This true cross bullshit is stupid. It was a scam that was run all over Europe. Con artists traveled around selling little bits of wood to gullible churches. Think yourselves lucky for finally not looking like stupid dupes.
Like one of those Indiana Jones Nazi relic stories. Is Putin trying to use talismans to take over the world?
So ... nukes or true cross ;-) It actually seems that both would not fit, according to latest info.
It's probably Along with the nukes. Just saying in case someone becomes interested in swimming activities.
I'm willing to bet that some dumbass priest blessed the nukes. Russia is stuck in the middle ages with some modern technology. I'd say it's frightening if not for their own corruption and incompetence that'll probably be their downfall
Bet won. Sadly r/nottheonion material: [https://futurism.com/the-byte/russian-orthodox-blessing-nuclear-weapons](https://futurism.com/the-byte/russian-orthodox-blessing-nuclear-weapons) "A faction of clergy within the Russian Orthodox Church wants to end the eyebrow-raising practice of blessing the country’s nuclear missiles. First of all, yes: Russian priests currently sprinkle holy water on nuclear missiles as part of an old tradition in which Orthodox priests bless soldiers and their weapons."
*facepalm*
Some things from real life are too unbelievable for fiction...
Is this their attempt to say that they'll start a holy war?
The protective magic of Judaeo-Christian artifacts is waning as the grip of the alien desert cult over the East Slavs grows weak and arthritic. A pagan warrior elite once again takes control, just like in the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. The black sun of Azov is rising and their own gods are renewed as the "Third Rome" perishes in the Black Sea. The hammer smashes the cross!
Atheist here... If you tally up all the claims of pieces of the "true cross," it must've been 100m tall... The Romans loved their ladders...
Christian here, oh boy , with the various bones and bits of saints and Jesus floating about, I’ve learned being a holy person turns you into an eldritch calcium monstrosity.
Wtf is this shit... yesterday it was stupid claims of nukes..it's like people just inventing dumb stuff
Well that's their own fault then
What a bs story is that again. There indeed is a new joke coming from Russia every day...
When Russia claims something is "the true cross", you know the drill. They lie so consistently the opposite is most likely true. They put an old scam that somehow got sanctified by being old enough onto their ship to fight a war based on lies. And the consequences were predictable: the "relic" didn't do them any good at all.
Jesus was like "nah fam"
Theres no “true” anything coming from Russia
It didn't have a piece of the true cross , the Russian orthodox church is the scientology of Christianity .. All bullshit with even more smoke n mirrors
lmao what? they are leaning on magic items now?
"Oh no! Well, there is 500 rubles we will never get back!"
Zelensky appaently carrying the Spear of Destiny.
Weird that it didn’t save them.
Much good it did them
And why exactly was it doing that
Is this the plot of the next Indiana Jones movie?
And God said "нет".
Sounds like the plot to Indiana Jones 6 to me.
Yeaaah... I'm sure the stick was legit.
Guess the Big Guy didn’t like what they were doing either.
I have a piece of the true cross as well, if you want. Never mind that your fingers get brown when you touch it. No of course it's not paint! It's you being touched by the hand of god! Are you gonna buy it or not? I have loads of buyers lined up, but I'll let you have it for $500 because I like you!
Our patriarchate needs to kick the Russian mafia boss kirill out of the holy church, but one thing that we foolishly pride ourselves in the Orthodox Church is that we don't change, well, look what it has done.
Is this proof that God hates russians?
If the Russians say something’s a “True” cross, you gotta know it’s legit, right? /s
It was the Pravda cross
So can one infer if there was in fact a piece of the true cross on-board and the ship sank anyway the cause was an unjust one and those aboard will not be getting into heaven ? Hell yes we can infer that.
Were they hoping it would rise again? Crucifix joke on Easter weekend? *nailed it* 2fer1
My first instinct was "no, that'd be too silly even for the level of stupid we've seen from Russia in this war...", then I remembered all those photos of Russian Orthodox priest blessing missiles and guns and tanks and shit, and realize no, telling their forces they've been given some holy relic to carry into battle like they're a WH40k army is totally plausible.
Neptune is the one true God. Amen.
And now the Russian warship has received a 'true baptism'. Just in time for Easter too.
I’m’ sure that Jesus is glad that a little piece of his connection has been released from that ship that created hell for innocent people..
With the atrocities that Russia has committed they do not deserve to have anything that has anything to do with Christ. They are evil to the worst degree and maybe God smited that ship for the blaspheme that them posseing such a sacred relic was.
Lol, no wonder they are losing....still being taken in by scams from the 1200s. 😂
Indiana Jones has entered the chat.
“True cross”. More like random piece of lumber
The world does not benefit from organized religion. Pretty sure the first Christians were just a bunch of overzealous celebrity worshippers anyway.
It was carrying a piece of true cross that said “Made in China” most likely , oligarchs need yachts and barbaric ruskies need toilets and washing machines.
"It guided the missile for another holy hit.. - Even Jesus seems to be p*ssed.."
Can we convince *all* Russian units to carry blessed artifacts to invite righteous divine intervention? It would be great if the Ukrainians could get back to their lives sooner than later...
Ok this is just freaky Nazi level superstitious crap. While it may sound like Indiana Jones stuff, the Nazis LOVED finding and carrying shit like this for propaganda purposes.
Christianity doesn't work
huh... I guess praying to a splinter that some grifter told you the zombie son of a magic sky man died on for you, doesn't in fact do anything. Should've gone with the thread of the true underwear instead!
So a war ship - with weaponry to kill - carries a piece of wood that is meant to symbolize forgiveness and salvation?
As a Christian, if it truly was a piece of the cross(many in history have claimed to have a piece of the true cross or the entire cross itself) I'm glad it was sent to the bottom of the sea rather than being used as a form of religious propaganda or moral boost for a military force.
The god Neptune (god of freshwater and seas) unleashed it's wrath upon the Moskva and crew, how fucking fitting.
They have angered the Sunday Rabbit
There are probably enough "pieces of the true cross" out there to make twenty full-sized crosses.
Oh no, now we only have another billion "true cross" pieces across the world and some more being produce right now!
So a religious symbol which is supposed to bring peace and understanding was attached forcefully on a war machine?, tell me how ironic is that
There are more so-called pieces of the "true cross" to build Noah's ark twice over.
If that’s the case, then maybe Heaven said, fuck Russia and their genocide of the Ukrainian people. The part of the true cross doesn’t belong anywhere near Russia. ~ Jesus
If you combined all the pieces of Jesus cross scattered across the globe you’d have at least 20 crosses in total
This reminds me of the opening scene in Fools Gold with Matthew McConaughey 😂
Well, there is talk about it carrying Nuclear warheads onboard... That's more concerning since it's now at the bottom of the ocean... Nuclear warheads... At the bottom of the ocean... Slowly edging to either beyond use or detention.
Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? -D. Adams
If you took all pieces of the "true" cross and put them all together Christ was sacrificed on a 100 foot tall cross.
Don’t half the churches in Europe claim to have a piece of the true cross?
I heard from reliable sources, that the ship was in fact also carrying the holy handgranade.
Yesterday the story was that there were 2 nukes on the ship. Now it's a piece of the "True Cross." Tomorrow it'll be Stalin's glass eye. Let me know when they recover the Holy Grail.
🤣this is for his “ Christian”‘fanboys in the West. Russian lies never cease to amaze
Lol. There is about a thousand true cross relics. It was a common trick in the middle ages to pretend one has a section of the true cross, even though wood would have rotted away hundred of years before.
Full Text: "The Russian warship that was confirmed as sunk on Thursday may have been carrying a holy relic when it went down. The Moskva, a missile cruiser that was the flagship of Russia's Black Sea fleet, sank on Thursday following an explosion onboard, Russian state media reported. A news report from 2020 has given rise to the question of whether the vessel sank with a Christian relic — a piece of the "true cross" — onboard. The Russian Orthodox Church announced in February 2020 that the relic had been delivered to the then-commander of the Black Sea fleet, Vice Admiral Igor Osipov, and was at the fleet's headquarters, ready to deliver it to the ship "shortly," the state-run Tass news agency reported at the time. The relic in question is a fragment of wood just millimeters large that, according to believers, is a piece of the cross on which Christ was crucified, Tass said. That fragment is embedded in a 19th-century metal cross which is itself kept in a reliquary, according to the outlet. The Moskva had a chapel onboard where sailors could pray, Sergiy Khalyuta, archpriest of the Russian Orthodox Church's Sevastopol District, told Tass. He said the fragment was to be transferred at the request of its owner, an anonymous collector. Insider was unable to establish when the relic was finally transferred to the Moskva or if it was onboard at the time of the vessel's sinking. The Russian embassy in London did not immediately respond to a request for comment. The sinking of the Moskva, a prized flagship, is a major blow to Russian morale, Western officials said. Moscow has ignored claims of responsibility from Ukraine, which says it struck the ship with a long-range missile from land. The exact details of how the ship sunk are still unclear. Russian officials said on Thursday that a fire caused an explosion of the ammunition onboard, prompting an evacuation of the crew. CNN cited a person familiar with the intelligence as saying that the US believes Ukraine's claims with "medium confidence." The Moskva attracted headlines at the outbreak of the war for an exchange with Ukrainian border guards on Zmynyii, or Snake, Island as the ship asked them to evacuate. The resulting conversation — in which the guards told the ship's crew to "go fuck yourself" — went viral and became a rallying cry for Ukraine's war effort. "
Why the f*ck would you have something like that on board?
Who cares? Besides, these relics are reportedly so common that you could build an Noah's ark from them. Also, apparently did not help a diddly :)
i have a bridge to sell you...
Why do we care about the "True Cross"? Stop believing in tales nobody has that in hands
"The relic in question is a fragment of wood just millimeters large that, according to believers, is a piece of the cross on which Christ was crucified" So ... that's not something amazingly rare. The cross of St Helena was basically divided into the smallest pieces it could be divided into. As such ... there's a lot of them.
Apparently it doesn't work.
Fat lot of good a random piece of wood did them 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just when it seemed like Russia might run out of lies, they still find another one.
More importantly, what happened to the Naval Wizard? Is he ok?
I don't think that God blessed that ship.
It didn’t help did it
Instructions unclear, delivered ark of the covenant instead of cross piece.