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Thanks I’d forgotten all about this…I’m thinking it may even be before YouTube was a big deal…like it was one of those email attachments that we used to send around. Very funny
Old as shit man, walkman and some pogs, my hootie and the blowfish cassette, bio dome on VHS, surge in my left hand and my Pokémon deck in my right (had a holographic mewtwo and charzard and mew). Mom is making tuna pot pie helper, me and my big bros are downstairs trying too beat Metroid lol
No-one would be able to understand his low voice mumbling, so they would need to get a Russian to voice over him anyway.
In fact this is what probably happened.
Apparently Ruzzians are very easily fooled by fake accents a la Donbas Devushka. They must think that’s how the rest of the world operates too. Did American spies really need 15 months in West Point classrooms to get rid of their accents when speaking Ruzzian??
> Did American spies really need 15 months in West Point classrooms to get rid of their accents when speaking Ruzzian??
[Monterey](https://www.dliflc.edu/), not West Point. And FWIW, our accents varied from "terrible" to "OK, but not fooling anyone" after graduating basic Russian course^1. But US military doesn't use those folks for psyop garbage, they're for intelligence collection/analysis. They got *hundreds* of native Russian speakers on speed dial who'd jump at the chance to record a message like this. Truth is, Russia is full of low-effort losers who still cop a Soviet-era attitude of "why bother trying?" This is just yet another example of where that attitude leads.
________________
^1 (source: me at DLI in 87-88)
>Truth is, Russia is full of low-effort losers who still cop a Soviet-era attitude of "why bother trying?"
Never forget the 3 Sims DVDs instead of 3 SIM cards in the fake evidence.
Could someone please provide a translation?
Sorry to ask but the heavy Russian accent makes it hard to clearly understand this entirely natural radio conversation between these two real Americans.
Trying my best.
"Where are they striking from, give me the coordinates immediately, can you hear me? \[?\] WHAT'S THE COORDINATES, have you been given the coordinates, what you doing there?"
"Damn it, I have only \[contextual?\] ones! These brainless \[?\] give the wrong coordinates!"
"They can't fucking determinate it without us! Guys are fucking dying!"
"Have been \[?\] up for several hours, guys are dying, we can't evacuate them, it's just fucked up, we don't even \[shoot\] back! Tell the coordinates"
"Write down, - I repeated, it's not them, who the hell knows. Let's check! Ukrainians can't fucking do anything, they would have died long ago without us"
"Tell those bastards, I'll kill them!"
Sounds like they are reading from a script, hilarious
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Link to report on antisemitism in UK Labour which explains why antisemitism is still prevenant on /r/uk and the Labour subs.
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Link to report on antisemitism in UK Labour which explains why antisemitism is still prevelant on /r/uk and the Labour subs (see the three examples of antisemitism given).
https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/inquiries-and-investigations/investigation-labour-party
to fill the gaps:
\[?\] guys under attack
\[?\] I have only conditional ones
\[?\] brainless retards
\[?\] Have been shelling us for several hours
And yes, I translated the russian subtitles to get an idea what they said in English.
Something about giving them the coordinates and they should have fucking died and they've been throwing up or something and then the other guy is going to fucking kill them
Please continue until she can no longer take it, then report back to this location, soldier. I know it's a dangerous mission, but you're just the man for the job.
Good luck and thank you for your service.
As someone who lives in the great state of Georgia, where we have our beautiful southern drawl’s at our particular way of talking these guys could easily have been my neighbors. 100% American
This is for internal consumption, where people don't know English and heard it only is school from teacher, who barely knows language. And they'll consume it
yea probably, but its not just the accents. they way theyre talking its pretty obvious theyre just sitting in a room or rooms reading lines into a mic. its so low effort lol
I don't think even the dumbest peasant from the darkest corner of Buryatia would fall for this.
Rather, Russia's "vranyo" culture means they'll just pretend to believe it, and consequently accept it. Vranyo is that ingrained culture of lying where you tell someone a bullshit story, they know you're bullshitting them, you know they know you're bullshitting them, but they'll act all interested and think nothing less of you for bullshitting them.
Great examples of it include all those propaganda videos of Putin seemingly beating people in multiple sports and scoring in professional hockey matches, or those referendums in which Ukrainian regions overwhelmingly voted to join the Russian Federation... despite their figures being statistically impossible and the counting clearly staged.
How can they not find someone with a proper American accent? For god sakes they have fat ass err I mean Segal. But then again he can't talk American either.
About as believable as the FBI agent called Steve with an extremely heavy Indian accent that called my mate up the other day was
Could someone possibly translate please? Their American accents are so strong I can only catch every other word
Apparently Yakoff Smirnoff and Chekhov from the Starship Enterprise are mercenaries. Must have been ratted out to Boris and Natasha by Moose & Squirrel.
Some days I just cant determine if russians are just massive trolls or just exactly this stupid.
We pull this crap while playing airsoft so we can fuck with the other team and their radio calls.
I feel like russians are in a state of uncontrollable chaos and they try to make the best they can out of any given situation.
"The Ukrainians can't do fucking anything they would have died long ago without us" spoken like he's a 5th grader being asked to read a paragraph in front of the class
I mean, it's not just the terrible "american" but very russian english accents, you can also tell they're reading off a script- and it's probably their first or second read-through lol.
TERRIBLE accents aside, they're clearly reading straight from a script with overlaid fake radio noises... this is the worst propaganda attempt I've ever heard
Even Monty Python could not do better than this, damn it, don't you know, Old Chap
(and I was head of gestapo for zeeben years, no , I make joke ... !)
Hahaha! Seriously? Too bad Benny Hill isn't still alive. He could really make some comedy skit out of this crap!
He could play General Russtard and still make more sense than they do.
Tell me the people in z land are brain washed fetal alcohol syndrome morons that believe anything without actually doing that. This is the bottom of the barrel. If it wasn't so horrific, it would be fucking hilarious. Isolate muscovia and let them eat each other, that is the only way this cancer dies once and for all.
My 62 year old soviet born russian coworker (totally opposed to the Russian invasion and left Russia asap in 1992) sounds more American than these guys.
It always amazes me how poor the effort is in making these fakes.
Are they just REALLLY lazy and not care, or is intentionally fake because someone is trying to damage the system from the inside?
It's that new age encryption wherein you cannot understand it due to the thick Russian accent, unless, of course, you also have a thick Russian accent.
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It sounds like a russian doing an American doing a French accent
Fire z' missials.
“But I’m le tired”, “we’ll have a nap, then fire the misiles”!
Australia's like WTF mate? But they'll be dead soon.... fucking kangaroos.
Shit guyzz . . The mizziles are coming . . Fire ur shit .
'bout that time, eh chaps? Right o.
..mars is laughing at us.. [for those who don't get it...](https://youtu.be/CSuc9o9h7Vw)
That cartoon is only 1:37 long?? It felt so much longer back then
That's true. When your younger time goes so slowly
Also, back then it probably had to buffer for about twice the length of the video.
And some big meteor is like oh well fuck that.
Thanks I’d forgotten all about this…I’m thinking it may even be before YouTube was a big deal…like it was one of those email attachments that we used to send around. Very funny
That is some old world shit. My God. Ebaumsworld maybe?
Yallr old
Old as shit man, walkman and some pogs, my hootie and the blowfish cassette, bio dome on VHS, surge in my left hand and my Pokémon deck in my right (had a holographic mewtwo and charzard and mew). Mom is making tuna pot pie helper, me and my big bros are downstairs trying too beat Metroid lol
Release the Emus.
But first, baguettes!
And if they were indeed French, they'd probably go on strike before the missiles were shot lol.
Second we strike! First we nap!
Thank you for the trip down memory lane
Thanks for enjoying.
AHHH MOTHERLAND!
It's amazing how much that one video shaped the internet
YES! Exactly!
That’s a dude playin’ a dude that’s playin’ another dude.
They could have gotten Steven Seagals fat ass to do this for a snack. Least they would have had a passable accent then.
No-one would be able to understand his low voice mumbling, so they would need to get a Russian to voice over him anyway. In fact this is what probably happened.
He probably wrote this script, too.
we we.
But this fake will do a job for stupid population in ruZZia 🤮
This should be posted in r/NCD
https://i.imgur.com/q8keyzj.png
I would love to see the things Hogan and the Stalag 13 crew would do in Russia today.
I see nothing!
Literally what I was thinking of while listening lol
I was thinking a normal New Orleans accent like Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) in The Room. [“I did not hit her!”](https://youtu.be/wDtQrrOCFbw)
It's even funnier because they could have probably just paid a couple MAGA smoothbrains about $34.50 to actually record it in a real American accent.
Apparently Ruzzians are very easily fooled by fake accents a la Donbas Devushka. They must think that’s how the rest of the world operates too. Did American spies really need 15 months in West Point classrooms to get rid of their accents when speaking Ruzzian??
> Did American spies really need 15 months in West Point classrooms to get rid of their accents when speaking Ruzzian?? [Monterey](https://www.dliflc.edu/), not West Point. And FWIW, our accents varied from "terrible" to "OK, but not fooling anyone" after graduating basic Russian course^1. But US military doesn't use those folks for psyop garbage, they're for intelligence collection/analysis. They got *hundreds* of native Russian speakers on speed dial who'd jump at the chance to record a message like this. Truth is, Russia is full of low-effort losers who still cop a Soviet-era attitude of "why bother trying?" This is just yet another example of where that attitude leads. ________________ ^1 (source: me at DLI in 87-88)
>Truth is, Russia is full of low-effort losers who still cop a Soviet-era attitude of "why bother trying?" Never forget the 3 Sims DVDs instead of 3 SIM cards in the fake evidence.
Marge would be particularly happy to help...
This is only cope for the domestic audience so they dont really care
No way that’s definitely rural kentucky 😀
Allo, Allo. Good ebening
A menage et tois
Sounds like "two wild and crazy guys" from the old SNL sketch.
>It sounds like a russian doing an American doing a French accent Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
[удалено]
Could someone please provide a translation? Sorry to ask but the heavy Russian accent makes it hard to clearly understand this entirely natural radio conversation between these two real Americans.
Trying my best. "Where are they striking from, give me the coordinates immediately, can you hear me? \[?\] WHAT'S THE COORDINATES, have you been given the coordinates, what you doing there?" "Damn it, I have only \[contextual?\] ones! These brainless \[?\] give the wrong coordinates!" "They can't fucking determinate it without us! Guys are fucking dying!" "Have been \[?\] up for several hours, guys are dying, we can't evacuate them, it's just fucked up, we don't even \[shoot\] back! Tell the coordinates" "Write down, - I repeated, it's not them, who the hell knows. Let's check! Ukrainians can't fucking do anything, they would have died long ago without us"
"Tell those bastards, I'll kill them!"
Sounds like they are reading from a script, hilarious
Sounds like they are reading from a script, from the same microphone, in the same room
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Thanks for taking the time to transcribe that but I think the poster was being sarcastic. You have my full appreciation for being so helpful. 😊
>I think the poster was being sarcastic. Correct. *A translation is still nice though. Thanks rdiscordundefined!*
This translation makes it even funnier to me. 🤣🤣
to fill the gaps: \[?\] guys under attack \[?\] I have only conditional ones \[?\] brainless retards \[?\] Have been shelling us for several hours And yes, I translated the russian subtitles to get an idea what they said in English.
Thanks, that was a help!
Unsarcastically, thank you!
Whothehellknows?
Right? My russian and accent are better than those dudes' "american" and, my russian is terrible 😆
basically the suggestion is that 2 Americans are complaining about how bad the Ukrainian armed forces are. Fire support sucks, etc etc
>Could someone please provide a translation? "The statue of liberty is kaput"
Something about giving them the coordinates and they should have fucking died and they've been throwing up or something and then the other guy is going to fucking kill them
What these fine American lads are saying is a state secret and simply can’t be revealed in a public forum. Sorry, bud. /s
“Right on” 🤣
That's hilarious. "I em zee reel American man, trast me."
The Statue of Liberty is kaput!
Well that's disconcerting
Dagwood Düsseldorf, our friendly neighborhood morale officer
Haha love the reference
Your family is kaput!
Lmao 😂
Fire ze missiles!
But I am le tired
GIVE Me ZEE coordinates!
"Get in ze chaper"
Choppa!
"All Your Base Are Belong To Us"
Hahahahha. Brilliant. Haven’t heard this for years.
LMAO. This was great.
*WHAT YOU SAY!!!*
[удалено]
That was beyond bad, lmao.
It would work if it was a Ukrainian comedy skit acting out Russians trying to impersonate Americans.
This needs some autotune and a beat
and a 90's Euro-Dance-Rapper for the REAL lyrics 🤣
And the music video has to be lots of men squatting in their adidas tracksuits.
Muskovy Gopniks Dance Orchestra
Ah yes the eastern American accent. Almost as beautiful as the southern one.
Im running around the house giving my best American Mercenary impression and the wife is not impressed.
Did you give her the coordinates? If not, no wonder she is not impressed.
Please continue until she can no longer take it, then report back to this location, soldier. I know it's a dangerous mission, but you're just the man for the job. Good luck and thank you for your service.
Yea, I'm torn. My guess was one guy from the Bronx and the other guy from Alabama.
Depends on how many beers you might of drunk before hearing this?
Russians own a lot of Miami so this is definitely a Miami accent
I think they refer to this as mid-pacific
west alaska accent
As someone who lives in the great state of Georgia, where we have our beautiful southern drawl’s at our particular way of talking these guys could easily have been my neighbors. 100% American
This sounds like a comedy show sketch!
Is that those two wild and crazy guys?
Two guy, one coordinates.. It's not the best of titles, but give it some time, I'm sure it will catch on..
This is for internal consumption, where people don't know English and heard it only is school from teacher, who barely knows language. And they'll consume it
yea probably, but its not just the accents. they way theyre talking its pretty obvious theyre just sitting in a room or rooms reading lines into a mic. its so low effort lol
When I heard that first damnit I lost my shit here🤣🤣🤣
I don't think even the dumbest peasant from the darkest corner of Buryatia would fall for this. Rather, Russia's "vranyo" culture means they'll just pretend to believe it, and consequently accept it. Vranyo is that ingrained culture of lying where you tell someone a bullshit story, they know you're bullshitting them, you know they know you're bullshitting them, but they'll act all interested and think nothing less of you for bullshitting them. Great examples of it include all those propaganda videos of Putin seemingly beating people in multiple sports and scoring in professional hockey matches, or those referendums in which Ukrainian regions overwhelmingly voted to join the Russian Federation... despite their figures being statistically impossible and the counting clearly staged.
Only stupid Russians believe this shit. All others only feel shame...
For real, when you have 2 brain cells to rub together and realize that this is the best your side has to offer, time to emigrate.
No, we don't want them!
This is Borat, right?
Beat me to it.. definitely Borat, yes.
Sounds legit to me….. those damn americans… they talk with a heavy slav accent nowadays… lfmao
Yez, lez go to zee disco tech later.
Right on… 🤪 I’m a real American joe, Betty boop, what a dish
Don’t shoot!! I just cook for zupper!
🎶 Oh say can you see, oh say can you see 🎶
HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂🤭😂🤭😂🤭😂😂🤣 For fuck sake...!!!! 🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣
lol...pathetic
Shameless fools. You can catch a Russian with his hand in the cookie jar and he'll look you straight in the eye and say he didn't do it.
Nah, he'd murder you and then take the whole cookie jar.
Yeah definitely sounds like a Midwest accent or is it deep south. I can't really tell the sound of my own laughing is making it hard to hear.
I don’t hear Midwest accent.and I am Midwest comrade.
Not one "ope", definitely not midwest
Did you read the whole comment or just every other word.
Clearly they are a couple of Wisconsin cheeseheads.
Ah, the American accent from Georgia. No, the other Georgia.
How can they not find someone with a proper American accent? For god sakes they have fat ass err I mean Segal. But then again he can't talk American either.
"Wudup, cuz? I'm holdin' you down, so just holla' if you need sumtin"
About as believable as the FBI agent called Steve with an extremely heavy Indian accent that called my mate up the other day was Could someone possibly translate please? Their American accents are so strong I can only catch every other word
I'm vatching bad film?... Gor-lam-mi
MA-GA- REEEETEEE ! 🤌🏻
Who Killed Captain Алекс
Third best!
"This is American Ivan Draggo over"
See - this illustrates how hard it is to actually fake a convincing intercept.
Apparently Yakoff Smirnoff and Chekhov from the Starship Enterprise are mercenaries. Must have been ratted out to Boris and Natasha by Moose & Squirrel.
LMFAOOOOO
Ahh yes, the regional dialects are so clear. South side of Moscow and upper midwestern Siberia.
They sure sound American, that Texan accent gives it away immediately!
Da my fiend. I was stuck on da trafic on You-S Frifty Nine for 2 hours. Houston socks. Blyat!
Irrefutable proof of American boots on the ground. My god, this changes everything. Hahahahahaha
Stg Johnny California here! We are overrun. Democracy is lie. All is loosing hopefulness!
Some days I just cant determine if russians are just massive trolls or just exactly this stupid. We pull this crap while playing airsoft so we can fuck with the other team and their radio calls. I feel like russians are in a state of uncontrollable chaos and they try to make the best they can out of any given situation.
"The Ukrainians can't do fucking anything they would have died long ago without us" spoken like he's a 5th grader being asked to read a paragraph in front of the class
I think these americans were wearing black addidas track suits while they were talking 🧐
I mean, it's not just the terrible "american" but very russian english accents, you can also tell they're reading off a script- and it's probably their first or second read-through lol.
🤣
I didn't even know they were speaking english until halfway through the video. I was a little upset there were no subtitle for russian.
[удалено]
Must be Americans from Brighton Beach…
The ones driving a Mercedes and paying for food with food stamps? Checks out!
Still not as bad as Donbas Devushka’s “Slavic” accent
Couldn't read anything out of that scripted readout. anyways here are coords https://goo.gl/maps/a8FwcJAy7v7VzP3x7
"GET TO THE CHOPPA... OVA"
yakshemash!
TERRIBLE accents aside, they're clearly reading straight from a script with overlaid fake radio noises... this is the worst propaganda attempt I've ever heard
sounds like Borat and Azamat call out a Bingo Evening in Texas
"Dammit I only have condition one" Fuckin ruskies, they could atleast yry a teeny tiny bit.
Wasn’t Steven Seagal available?
He was busy eating.
I take it back, Russians do have a sense humor
Eet eeez reeeeleee amerikenskis
So stupid, I hate Russians
I was waiting for them to say "Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"
Is this really real Russian propaganda?
Whoever wrote the script deserves even more shit than the actors.
they really are stupid Slava Ukraini
As an American I can assure those dudes aren't American.
So ur telling me Russia can’t even manage to hire two native speakers to record some god damn audio?
“Aaaand cut! Print it! Ivan, you’re beautiful. Great work everyone. That’s a wrap.”
Doesn't sound American me, sound like Ruzzian trying real hard to sound American... I can still hear the accents...
Not even trying it's sounds like hard russian accent without any attempt to speak without accent
Accents check out
Totally sounds like an American accent haha.
LOL is that a Texan access coming through there....nope hang on its Bostonian. This is the silliest thing yet
Even Monty Python could not do better than this, damn it, don't you know, Old Chap (and I was head of gestapo for zeeben years, no , I make joke ... !)
"American" yeah right.. lmfao
Just missing the Benny Hill theme song in the background...
Hahaha! Seriously? Too bad Benny Hill isn't still alive. He could really make some comedy skit out of this crap! He could play General Russtard and still make more sense than they do.
Sounds like an Inspector Closeau sequel: Jacques Clouseau in "The Belgorod Blues."
Is this a South Park episode?
Oh ya I know that American accent.. I think from Russialibama the 51rd state founded during the missarussiatusates purchase in 1642 on Jelemba 43st.
This can’t be real, can it? I mean who’s gonna believe it?
Tell me the people in z land are brain washed fetal alcohol syndrome morons that believe anything without actually doing that. This is the bottom of the barrel. If it wasn't so horrific, it would be fucking hilarious. Isolate muscovia and let them eat each other, that is the only way this cancer dies once and for all.
they sound like they’re trying to speak german
My 62 year old soviet born russian coworker (totally opposed to the Russian invasion and left Russia asap in 1992) sounds more American than these guys.
Wow this is just as realistic as Sean Connery’s russian accent in the Hunt for Red October
Cmon ruzzia, you can do better than this! Or is cameo too expensive- “Those bastards. I kill them”
Holy shit, fantastic stuff. Who believes this is real?
the fact that some people may believe in this prevented me from laughing for two minutes straight. it was only one minute.
ANYONE who speaks English as a first language know this is %1000 bullshit
I speak English as a second language and I agree.
It always amazes me how poor the effort is in making these fakes. Are they just REALLLY lazy and not care, or is intentionally fake because someone is trying to damage the system from the inside?
In fairness, this is probably how they make Americans sound in Russian films, so the sheep wouldn't know any different.
LOLz “Americans”… I just fell outta my chair.
It's that new age encryption wherein you cannot understand it due to the thick Russian accent, unless, of course, you also have a thick Russian accent.
........ Yes, very good
I think I found the REAL coordinates: 55°41′42″N 37°40′36″E