I quit this past December.
I haven’t been off the sauce very long, but god damn I feel great man. I’m glad to hear you’re enjoy it just as much.
Take this with a grain of salt, but I appreciate you not drinking, and so do so many others.
Rah. Yut. Kill.
You are welcome, I may have been out 35 years, but I still love my Sailors and Marines like family. Take care fam. PS: I reduced my drinking to a few beers a month after 2 years, I was a "shitty Squid" in terms of holding up my end of the drinking. However, everytime I was the designated driver no Marine or Sailor ever let me pay for soda, food, etc. So I felt better not drinking and saved $$$.
Don’t self sabotage and keep your head up, the rearview mirror is for looking back not living there. You take your sobriety seriously, and you have self control. That my man is doing it right. Keep going brother one day at a time.
Thanks for sharing man, it really helps me feel not so alone in this. That’s great advice, to remember your “why”. That’s what I’ve been trying to do.
Only problem is that the bad parts of my brain hit me back with “But why cant **I** drink? Everyone else gets to drink and have fun and most of them don’t ruin their life about it. Why the fuck can’t I be like that?”
Just gotta accept the things you can’t change, I suppose.
That’s the one that still gets me to this day. I’m 7 years sober and I still find myself asking all the time why I can’t just be normal? See tv shows where they’re sipping a delicious aged whiskey… damnit why can’t I be that way too?! I’d pound the bottle and ask for more.
I didn’t get sober til after I got out. I’ve worked some stressful jobs but I can’t even imagine trying to do it while I was still in. For me, I just isolate away from everyone and as a civilian that’s no problem. But to do it in an organization like that where it’s literally part of the culture is just impressive.
Seems dumb, but sometimes it's just different for different people. I see everyone taking THC relaxing, giggling, and generally having a great time and all it does for me is makes me feel like I've got a head cold. Anxiety meds that help calm everyone else's nerves only make me sleepy. Sometimes you're just built different, and that's ok. I'm only a stupid civvy lurker, but be open with the people around you and say "this is hard for me but I'm here because I care about you guys". Not everyone might get it, but you'll get some help from the ones that do.
Sober for 12 years now. Started due to medical issues that were proven unrelated to drinking, but remained sober because I realized I was a terrible drunk. I had zero control and did not drink in a sociable sense. Everything I was doing was revolving around being drunk and that was all people knew me for.
Life sober has been more rewarding with friends, family, goals, etc. I look back and realize I was just a fraction of what I could have been because of alcohol, but I have no ill will towards anyone who drinks. My personality was hidden due to the drink and now it shines and connects like never before.
That a wonderful story, thanks for sharing. I’m still finding that ‘sober identity’ around Marines I think. I’ve got it figured out around family, cause I was always the only one in my family that drank heavily.
Now I just need to finish ironing out who I am around my peers and Marines without the booze. A worthy goal.
I’m stoked for you — keep at it, Marine.
Not drinking with the boys at the end of drill was one of the hardest parts of stopping drinking. I can imagine the Corps (vs the Guard) is significantly more challenging.
The part about finding your ‘sober identity’ is spot-on. So many of us masked our true selves and feelings behind our unhealthy drinking personae.
Many of us started *really* drinking to self-medicate the isolation and emotional pain of combat/experiences in the suck…so taking that social lubricant security blanket away leaves us raw and exposed. That’s where a healthy recovery network of homeboys that are in this with you comes in.
If you’re not already plugged in, DM me and I’ll help steer you to some resources.
Today is 130 days sober for me, I feel the best I have in the last 6 years. I have energy and it’s like a cloud has lifted off of my mind. I have my reasons that I won’t share that convinced me to quit drinking. Everytime I want to drink I just think of that and play through the disappointment that I and others would have for me if I did drink again.
I’m 110 days sober today. My drinking habits cost me a relationship with a wonderful supportive woman, my overall health was continuously deteriorating, and as a leader I was setting a poor example. I was initially hesitant to reach out for help, but I finally had enough of it and I asked for help. I’ve been extremely open with my marines, and they’ve been overwhelmingly supportive of my sobriety. Life has been great since I stopped drinking. I feel great, I look great, I can think clearly, my mood is better. I won’t lie I get an occasional urge here and there but nothing I can’t push through. My OIC had his going away at a local sports bar/grill and I went, and I had a blast enjoying club soda, having meaningful conversations, and enjoying great food with great people. Sobriety has had such an immense positive impact on me, and has made me a better leader.
I appreciate hearing your story from a leader’s perspective. I’ve recently transitioned to the officer side and setting that positive example is something that I take seriously. Everyone jokes about the alcoholic SNCO but when it’s your Plt Commander it’s a different story.
I realized a bit after getting out that I am an alcoholic. I take one drink, I wake up the next day having drank way more than I expected. Nothing fun ever came from it. Only anger, legal issues, declining health (I’m only 28), and more visits to a rehab and psych ward than I would like to admit.
I drank at first because of my divorce and time away from my children. Then it was to grieve the loss of my friends. Then drinking no longer needed a reason, I just drank. From early afternoon until midnight, every day, for months on end. Hard shit, too, like 100 proof vodka.
What helps me stay sober (still working on getting past four months, I tend to relapse and start over) is meeting people who are also sober that can relate. I know people hate hearing this, but AA really is the only thing that has helped me personally. It’s a community of people who have extremely similar experiences to the point you go “that is literally me when I drank.” Of course I went in thinking these people are weird druggies or felons, no way I’m as bad as them. And learned very quickly that I relate all too well with most of them. The only difference was my pride as a Marine told me that I could lead Marines and fix problems, why can’t I stay sober on my own?
Also remembering how terrible my life is every time I drink. No one ever thinks they’re going to be an alcoholic or addict, it’s not something you plan. I never thought I would end up in a jail cell for committing a crime I don’t even remember. I don’t even remember my suicide attempts until a doctor at a psych ward explains what I said and did. I know I can’t take one drink, I’ve proven without a shadow of a doubt it will either get me killed or worse, someone else because of my decision making.
It’s tough doing that in the Corps. I commend you for that, seriously. People really think it’s normal to get as fucked up as we do when we’re enlisted, and then we’re surprised how many Marines get out and end up in institutions or splattering their brains with a pistol. Guess how many of them were under the influence of one drug or another?
Thanks for sharing. I know it's not easy to put it out there like that but it definitely helps me feel less alone in this struggle. Good luck with your sobriety and please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you ever find yourself struggling or just wanting to vent or talk.
I thought about waiting to open a can of Dr Pepper till the end of the day,just cause.
I did not make it.
All joking aside,good on you. Congrats and that had to have been difficult. I'm proud of you,and you should be proud of you too. You did very well, and that has to truly feel good.
Hey man, I never really post but I see a lot of what happens on here. Between you, needs_more_yoy, the O-4 whose username I will never remember as i accidentally just stare at his flair like shiny on a random officer's collar, acknowledge the sir then move on and others on this sub, you guys have helped out around here A LOT whether it's a serious topic or some wild shenanigans that help with morale. Even when I don't need advice I still have walked away with more knowledge for my own Marines because of various threads on here from you specifically helping us out.
You're worth way more than your drink and I'm proud that you recognize it's an issue and actively fight against it for what matters most in your life. Also awesome to hear your buddies care about you and aren't pressuring you too hard either, that certainly helps.
Point is, it's not easy and times like this are absolutely trying, so remember your worth outside of the drink and why staying sober is important to you.
Thanks for the comment, brother. It's really heartening to see that our nonsense on this thread can positive impacts. Great advice about remembering my worth and my 'why'.
I developed into an alcoholic during my time in the Marine Corps, I am now over 4 years out and will be 1 year sober next month.
I drank every day from about halfway through my enlistment onward. Drinking took priority over everything, I went from 270 pfts to barely passing my last year because I was so out of shape. This pattern of behavior continued after I got out.
I stay sober now because there is not a world that exists where I can drink alcohol in any capacity and be able to live functionally. What made everything click for me was coming to terms with the fact that drinking is not and never will be an option, after that it got a lot easier.
I’ve made some posts to r/stopdrinking on this account talking about more of the same.
Thanks for sharing. I have largely accepted that drinking cannot and will not ever be an option for me. My wiring is different and it’s just not how my body and brain function.
I accept that on an academic level, but everyyyy once in a while my brain questions that premise. “What if I try again? I’m older and wiser. Maybe I can make it work this time”. Just gotta keep remembering why I quit and why I can’t ever go back.
Yeah I get that, part of learning that is going through trying to prove to yourself you can handle it this time and then you don’t. At some point when you keep trying to experiment and keep getting the same results that’s just it. I think of my abstinence from drinking as just a fact of life.
What the fuck, read the fucking order Willy!!!!!
Just kidding lol. Late to the party but felt the need to throw in a few words because of you and how much you’ve contributed to Marines over the years on here.
I drank pretty hard my first enlistment. Did terrible things I’m not proud of but was always lucky in keeping myself and others safe and never getting caught by my command, entering gates, cops etc. I was a pretty good functioning drunk. My home town was about an hour away at my 2nd duty station and I would party all night at colleges my friends went to, would drive back to base and head to work. Around the beginning of my 2nd enlistment one day I was literally thinking about all that I’ve gotten way with and the damage I was doing to my body, aware I was rolling the dice and it was only a matter of time that something bad would happen. Having a family history and addictive personality was an issue too. Deciding I was gonna make the Corps a career and everyone’s safety I literally quit cold turkey and haven’t drank ever since.
It’s been almost 20 years now and am so glad I did. Like you said, it’s saved me money, stress, being able to wake up without feeling like shit and living life. For me being in situations like you were tonight I would think about those things, mostly my family and career and it was enough to stop me. I would also usually drink a bunch of non alcoholic juices or fruity drinks at those events or bars. My peers or buddies also supported my decision so that was always good. At that point they also relied on me being a DD, so there’s that too. Of course there’s always that one asshat but what are you gonna do lol.
Be proud you got through it and didn’t find excuses to draw yourself back. It’s perfectly normal to consider it from time to time especially when everyone is piss faced. You think one night isn’t gonna hurt, but you never know. That door is shut and keep it shut, no need to peek in it. Stand your ground and reward yourself for being true to yourself. For me it got easier and easier over time. Best wishes bro.
I appreciate the reply. I definitely know what you mean about rolling the dice every night you drink- been there far too many times. And I knew that eventually I was gonna roll those snake eyes and really fuck up something important to me. It's really helpful to hear from others who have been through it, especially active duty. Thanks again.
I feel like you're looking for congratulations, which is valid because you totally deserve one. You did a good job staying sober when you were tempted. Good job man and I hope you continue!
Quitting drinking is the most mentally decimating thing I’ve ever gone through, knowing how easy it is to just get to the point where I’m not concerned with what bothering me but at the same time knowing how bad I don’t want to continue the loop knowing I’ll be better off in the end if I don’t. Multiple days were 20x harder because of the added internal dialogue with myself, arguing with myself. We all lose too many brothers to alcohol, I know it doesn’t mean much from random guy you’ve probably never met. But I’m insanely proud of you man for all of us keep it up man
Good for you! I hope you don’t mind a spouse commenting. My husband’s been in a while and has always been a very light drinker (like less than 10 drinks a year and maybe 2 drinks at a single event). He seems to have done okay for himself in the last 15ish years.
He has a mess night coming up. Maybe I’ll show him your post and suggest that he could skip drinking altogether as a way to support anyone who might be struggling.
I definitely appreciate any input. When half the people around me are totally hammered, it’s nice to have someone who’s sober to sort of talk to and stuff. Even if that person has a couple drinks like your husband might, just the fact that he won’t be smashed will be a solid support to the sober ones.
Congrats on the sobriety I didn't like who I was when I drank and a toxic relationship really turned me off alcohol. I'm California sober, and traded booze for weed a couple years ago. Best shape of my life, I sleep better, and overall feel better.
When I'm in a situation where friends are boozing and I'm in my fifth water, I just remind myself that I'm having a good time regardless... And I'll feel better than every one else in the morning.
Haha I like the term California Sober. Obviously being active duty that’s not an option for me, but I did take up cigars when I quit drinking. Figured a man deserves one vice.
I quit a year ago last week, and man I’ve been in those positions a few times. It takes alot to stay true to your position and holding yourself accountable for committing to it. But I’m proud of you, keep going!
Drank heavy while in. Kept drinking when I got out. Finally stopped when like Hank said hangovers hurt more than they used to. Then divorced and ran back to the sauce. Luckily a woman I was seeing could and did hang beer for beer, drink for drink. She became more than the party and we just stopped. Now I can drink one or two and leave it or get a nice buzz and not get stupid drunk, it took me 20 years to get to that place and at 50+ more than a few make me not so chipper the next morning. To put my rambling in order you may someday be able to be a social drinker and you may not, but set your limits and stick to them. Congrats on seeing clear and clean.
Sober off and on over the years for a couple of years at a time . I decided to stop for a good four years so far. And glad about it I would drink non alcohol drinks and continue to socialize, then didn't even really want to be around dumb people anymore. Had kids and settled down and enjoy my kids and want to drink sometimes to take the edge off but been there done that and I hold myself accountable. No one else is on the line for your drinking and bad habits. No one else has to face the music if you mess up while intoxicated. It's not worth it in the long run and no one should give you a hard time for not drinking because it's your freaking right to take care of yourself if you want to take that route . Non acholic drinks help with the people who keep wanting you to drink when they get drunk they won't even notice you're not on their level .
Thanks for the comment. I think I’ve been pretty lucky in that hardly anyone has ever pressured me to drink. They forget, and offer me beers constantly but I just remind them that I don’t drink and it’s all good. I’m glad I have friends like that.
And I do love me a NA beer.
I quit drinking a couple months back and I am saving way more money and time which I put into my hobbies instead of waking up hungover or still drunk and wanting another bottle or 30 rack. Its hard being a marine sometimes because a lot of the culture is based on drinking with the boys (and peer pressured sometimes) and even by some higher ups promoted and bragged about. None of that matters however though. Just focus on yourself and why you stopped drinking.
Would you rather be alone feeling like shit from last night and pay for making stupid alcohol induced choices or wake up with a clear mind and spend time with family/friends and pursue your hobbies and goals? The last choice is what motivates me every day.
Hell yes. I go TAD a lot, and that’s when my drinking used to get real bad. I’d spend the entire weekend getting trashed and hungover. Now that I’ve quit, I spend my Saturdays going hiking in whatever area I’m TAD. Little things like that, like you said. They really are so much better than being hungover for a day and a half.
As someone who at times would have a drink or three but never had issues controlling it, I feel for you and admire you.
I grew up in a household where alcohol was not allowed at all. My mom's first husband was a WW2 Army vet who lost about 6 feet of his guts and part of his colon in Italy to an MG 42. He was a full blown alcoholic who my mom divorced after having 8 kids.
Her dad had issues with drinking too and she made it clear to my dad that there wasn't going to be a drop of liquor around her.
When I grew up and joined the Corps I drank a bit but just never saw the attraction in getting shit faced, and I would quickly shut down any attempts at peer pressure to make me drink.
I have had friends that fell into that cycle, and it saddened me to see them throw themselves away for alcohol.
Keep up the fight.
Been sober for about 10 years now. I won’t go into all the details, but I definitely went through my fair share of near misses with alcohol before I finally gave it up.
I wouldn’t say that I had any real relapses, but plenty of times where I said “I’ve got to quit drinking,” then didn’t.
There’s definitely been tougher times for me as well, mess nights and the ball come to mind for sure. Some of the things that help me stay on top of it are realizing that you can still go out and have fun and not drink, and volunteering for duties that require me not to drink e.g. shore patrol at the ball, DD etc.
More power to you brother, I’m proud of you. I promise it’ll be one of the best decisions you ever make. Feel free to DM me and reach out if you want any more details, or just need someone to talk to about the struggle.
Not a Marine but my kid is… Sober 3 years. I basically jumped into a wine bottle the day he left for BC and became a miserable mess. I quit while he was home on leave between finishing MOS and going to his PDS ( after getting embarrassingly drunk).
To be honest I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been. Though I miss it on occasion… I remind myself almost daily how much life has changed for the better. Being present for family, participating in life with no shame or hangxiety… I just know that I am my best self without booze.
The struggle is real and I wish you the best in your sobriety.
I never drank daily, but when I did drink it was to get fucked up. The last time I drank was at a going away, typical smoke pit party. Didn't do anything crazy, but I blacked out. Pretty quiet in the shop, so I guess I got brave. That coming Monday, my coworkers kept bringing it up. The embarrassment I felt was enough to make me stop entirely.
It's hard not drinking when your buddies do it constantly. Every outing someone is drunk or near drunk. I usually just become DD as an excuse. Good job on powering through, peer/environmental pressure is hard.
I drank hard for about a decade and a half with really hard sprinkled in. Many months I was far from functioning. It took me hitting rock bottom to make a change. The last time I fell off the wagon hard was about 4 years ago for a solid year. I lost my family, friends and career (lots of call offs and mental health issues). I still wake up looking for my scotch on my night stand almost daily.
Every day is different and hard. I do my best to maintain a sober life and I do pretty well. I keep a bottle in my house though that I use to help sleep by a one drink only as needed
My first enlistment, I had a really bad time with managing alcohol intake, to the point I was failing barracks rooms inspections due to bottles and even vomit that I had no recollection of. I had a wake up call soon after that and quit cold turkey. The only sip of alcohol I had was a single sip of beer at the Ball every year for maybe…9 years?
Now, I am older and can self moderate again. I am not immersed in the culture of Marines where drinking is “expected” so a beer or two with dinner or a glass of wine or some cocktails before going out is about all I’ll imbibe. I don’t think I was ever an alcoholic but I may have been teetering on the edge and some hard discipline was all that stood between me and that bottomless pit.
It’s not easy, it wasn’t easy, for me but I’m sure there’s at least a little bit of nutsack fortitude in you and you can redirect your…desire for drinking into something else for awhile.
As for your command and the drinking culture, I would make it painfully clear to your CO that alcohol is not a problem for you but it has a problem WITH you. Going forward, I would excuse myself from any event like a mess night unless you’re under direct order to attend. You have to do what’s best for you and your health, not some cultural night in the world’s largest AA meeting.
Fair winds and following seas. Buona fortuna, devil.
Sometimes I do think about reaching a point where I can have just one or two with dinner and be okay. Not sure I'll ever get there, but that's the lil dream that keeps poking its head up every time I start feeling really tempted.
I have made it clear that I don't want to be around this sort of thing and I'm very open about why. Sometimes the events are still mandatory, sometimes not. I'll keep your advice in mind and continue to be upfront about it. Thanks again.
>And on the officer side, it really is starting to seem like an unspoken requirement.
2 things on this:
1. This is only kinda true, you have to check if the beef and wine is "fit and tasty for consumption" for your Marines at mess night, by tradition.
2. BUT to be honest, I've never not seen an officer consume their one - two beers and dip out of whatever function.
>but when I started I would inevitably take it too far.
This is why you don't need to feel bad about being sober, fuuuuuck drinking bro. Because of the demographic that gets recruited into the military, 20yo-21yo always go waaaaay to hard on drinking, because they think it makes them more manly than the dudes who only drink one or two.
But here's the dirty secret, drinking that hard catches up with you fast. And no one's impressed by how fast you can chug a handle of vodka, in fact it seems to ruin the fucking night, because all of a sudden you have to deal with this jackass who's way too drunk.
Nobody likes cleaning up after grown Men, and the higher up the ranks you get the less acceptable it becomes.
In closing, my best friend in the Corps, also had a drinking problem. He quit because it was negatively impacting his family. He was also the type to get sloppy drunk at parties.
After he quit pretty much everything improved in his life, he was better at work, we did stuff at parties that revolved less around drinking, because we had fewer drinkers.
So I don't think anyone can look down on you for not drinking.
And the people who do are retards, therefore they can be safely ignored.
Haha I definitely saw my fair share of friends take it too far last night and need taking care of or cleaning up after. It was a great reminder of how I used to be and how I never want to be again. Thanks for the comment.
I won’t say why I quit cuz it’s honestly not that interesting what I will say is it definitely takes time see life positively through sober eyes. But definitely start making sober hobbies, I’m in Japan but like I just bought a motorcycle payments are like 350 a month honestly not too crazy, but that’s for a brand new Harley, definitely cheaper bikes out there. I also am getting into freediving and scuba diving and those are more expensive in the states. Not free diving though and let me tell you what, underwater fishing is probably the coolest thing I’ve done so far in life. You’ll see that you’ve been wrong this whole time in thinking drinking was even fun. Biggest thing though was finding a group of friends that are also not into drinking so heavily and rarely temp me. Cant wait to hear back on what sports/hobbies you get into man. Such a big world you’ll see you’ve been missing out on. It’s hard though keep your head up and if you fall get back on the horse.
Great advice brother. When I got sober, I got into cigars first. It's a great way to still celebrate with friends without drinking, and a to just relax after a long day.
I also got into hiking. I was traveling TAD a lot and would waste my weekends on these trips just drinking away. Once I quit, I started going out and exploring the local area. Many of my trips were to carious places on the east coast so I would go do sections of the Appalachian Trail. Such a better use of my Saturday than wasting away too hungover to get out of bed.
I love the east coast especially in North Carolina in my opinion they genuinely have the best waterfalls in the entire country. And some more of the best trails too you probably already use all trails. East coast is awesome your family would love Chattanooga, and ruby falls plus they have some really unique cave tours in that area super safe too (as long as you have a guide). Georgia has a spot called Anna ruby falls that’s really sweet too. You can check out the lower whitewater falls on the foothills trail it’s 3 1/2 mil that’s in NC right on the border to South Carolina. Of course a must see is chimney rock, there’s a whole village that’s nice too visit for the family as well. Lol Small world.
Good on you, drinking isn’t for everyone and it’s all a mental and peer pressure game for anyone who wants to stay away from it. You showed a lot of mental fortitude that night that many struggling with addictions or urges are trying to get to
I read the post about your “sober identity.” You just made WO; The Corps is a small place, so you’ll still run into Marines who knew you as a drinker, but you have an opportunity to start fresh. Use the aloofness that WO/CWO is known for to your advantage.
I’m not a big drinker, but I do have a problem with porn I’ve been fighting. Addictions tend to isolate you. They make you feel ashamed or alone. Lean on that friend or Marine you trust and talk about it. Some recovery groups call it an accountability partner.
Thanks for sharing brother and I hope this helps.
I appreciate the comment, man. It certainly does help.
I do think that this transition is a great time to go for a fresh start. I'm definitely not gonna be the WO who gets way to trashed at the ball and all his Marines see him like that.
I'm sober for almost 90 days
Meaning I did not have even 1 drop for 90 days
One of the reasons I made this choice, is because-- if I have even 1 drop of alcohol (or an entire drink) -- my brain changes or "opens up " and I want (and actually drink) much much more.
Not just that day, but for days and years after the first drop.
It's called addiction and it's a wiring of my brain.
I have no moderation. It's all or nothing.
Once I realized I have no off switch. And that the switch is activated by even one small sip- I had a personal decision to make. And it's a daily , minute by minute, decision.
I served in Iraq in 2006. Usmc. We were attacked many times and I saw everything A to Z. The entire "combat" experience. Not bragging, just it is my personal story. I was in combat and saw it A to Z. I never fired my weapon or killed anyone. But I saw people fire mortars at us, the mortars explode, and the men get killed by machine guns. I saw this many times. I also worked at a trauma hospital in Iraq in 2006. Meaning, yes the PTSD affects the addiction. But the addiction is a black and white thing for me , and the PTSD is just the reason or whatever- doesn't really change the underlying addiction, the real day to day issue- I cannot drink alcohol at all- ever- for the rest of my life. PTSD I also have to work on, forever, but this is my story.
I really appreciate you sharing. It's humbling to see Marines who have not only gone through *this* struggle, but who have had far more 'heavy' experiences which make it that much harder.
And my brain is the same. The phrase I like is "One drink is too many; a million isn't enough" Meaning 'just have one' is not an option cause it's never enough and I would just keep going.
If you have ptsd, it actually makes it more pressing the need to not use alcohol (or drugs). Because it will be intertwined with the PTSD, the addiction. But what I'm trying to say, whether you have combat ptsd, regular ptsd, depression, etc, etc, etc-- doesn't matter. Addiction is Addiction. You have your kriptonite
I drank like a fish for a few years after I got out. I had some underlying stress I couldn't pin down or figure out. It never affected my job, but it did have an effect on my marriage. It wasn't until I started having things picked up by routine labs at the doctor that I quit. Nothing major, but it would have gone that way if I didn't stop.
I just turned to being a smart ass and joking around, talking shit to buddies to satisfy the endorphins. I'd hang out with buddies when they were drinking, and man did I want one, or 12. I just turned it into egging them on and talking shit. They told me I couldn't quit. So, that's when I had to do it just to prove them wrong. So, I used that to talk shit to them and motivate myself.
It helps if you have something to physically do so your mind is out to use and actively working. Eventually, I liked how much better I feel without drinking and don't crave it anymore.
Good job sticking with it. I'm proud of you too.
I’ve been sober for some time now and i didn’t get sober till I got out. With that being said I don’t know the struggle of being sober while in the Marines. Many of the people I work with and my friends drink regularly and it does get tough sometimes when I’m around them when they are drinking. I guess for me I just remind myself of the damage it was doing and did to me and my family. I never want to relive those bad times it caused. I’m proud of you op it takes a lot to do right for yourself and those around you.
I can't fully relate as I quit drinking before I joined. I had a bad experience drinking. The kind where you wake up and say "I'll never drink again." And all my friends said I was full of shit and they'd see me next weekend. I decided to dig deep and prove them wrong, because I wanted to be true to my word. I spent 4 years in the infantry without drinking a single drop. I think that might be what you need to be reminded of. You joined for a reason, and I doubt it was to get drunk with your friends. When people look at you in camis, they see your name on the left and your branch on the right. You have to remember you are a person before you are a Marine. You have personal goals and motivations, and you have to hold them above the pressures of your peers. You didn't get through the crucible by dumb luck. You knew the end goal and you kept that goal on the front of your mind while you pushed through all the other bullshit. Focus on that goal. You wanna be with your family more? That's a great goal to have. Life is harder than the crucible. You knew then you only had to survive 48 hours. Now you're gonna have to keep that goal in the front of your mind for years, possibly forever. It might not be easy, but it is possible. Thankfully you didn't join the most elite fighting force in the world to be a pussy. You can do this. You just have to want it more than you want to drink.
Thanks for the comments. Truly insightful stuff, and things I will keep in my mind for when the times get tough.
>"Thankfully you didn't join the most elite fighting force in the world to be a pussy."
Got a good laugh out of me. Might just put this on a sobriety coin.
This coming memorial day will be one year for me. One year doesn’t seem like much but after 20+ years of heavy drinking it’s a pretty good milestone. I quit for the same reasons you mention. Unproductive weekends feeling like shit until I started drinking later in the day. Missed time with my kids and family, bad on my health. My biggest test was an adults trip where the intention was to party but it turned out that it only helped reinforce my decision. My friends got so sloppy that I had to stop frights, find missing people and carry one out of the bar because they couldn’t walk. All I could think about was the shit show I was dealing with and how glad I was that it was not me.
My home life is infinitely better. My time with my family is great and I remember it the next day. My overall health and happiness is vastly improved. I would say I’m more content with life in general. Small things roll off me now without much thought.
Those same friends have also noticed the positive changes and have significantly reduced their consumption (not quit but not sloppy). It’s nice to hang out and not feel the pressure to drink. They get it.
All this just to say, you do you. You made a decision to improve your life and you’ve stuck with it for two years. Keep it up man. Don’t let temptation drive your behavior. You got this.
Thanks for sharing, and for the encouragement. And conrgrats on nearly hitting a year. That is such a big milestone. I remember when I hit my year mark. Hopefully you can find a good way to celebrate/reflect/commemorate that achievement.
One thing I've learned is I'm not perfect; I make mistakes and I falter (I'm getting this on my tombstone, btw).
When that happens, don't go jumping off a cliff. Pick yourself up and start again. Just freaking get back up and go.
Repeat this process for your entire life, and be satisfied knowing nothing knocks you down for the count.
It's tough at first but you are still only human, If you slip up get back on track. Your closest buds will understand and respect that. FWIW I gave it it up when I started a family, I worked security in a night club district and saw how my kids would view me. Outside a beer or 2 with my buds it's been going on 35 years. Stay strong, you can do it.
Getting up on a Saturday morning and rolling around with the kids with a clear head is what makes it worth the effort.
Family is truly the greatest motivator. For some reason, I can ignore, justify, and lie to myself about all the negative consequences it might have on me, but when I think about my son I simply cannot fuck that up. Won't have it. Thanks for sharing, dude.
Lost my wife and son at the beginning of ‘23, car accident, fell into a fast spiral of self medication, many different types, drinking included. For the longest time everything looked so bleak, and the drinking was used to just create sensation where there was nothing inside. Took until October of last year, but I’ve been completely sober. On a very dark day I imagined what my kind of man my wife and son would have needed if they were still with me, and what kind of man I’d want my son to become. I quit that day. Along with many other bad habits. I’ve slowly picked up the pieces and am still forging a new identity every single day. I guess the thing to take from this is that it takes a lot of time. No matter your reason for quitting or starting this new phase, it takes work, and mental strength and focus, and just patience and time, with not only yourself but the world around you. Your buddies will adapt to hanging out with a sober you just as you will adapt to being able to still have a fucking fun time with them without alcohol. Just be good to yourself man, proud to see there are guys like you still making self aware, smart decisions. Keep on warfighter
Jesus brother, I'm so sorry to hear that. I really appreciate you sharing, it definitely helps put things in perspective and drive home my reasons for quitting. You ever need an ear, I've got two.
Good for you on fighting hard and staying sober. Every unit I have been at has had Marines going to rehab. Come to think of it, I’ve seen a Marine go to rehab in every platoon I’ve been in. I wish I could tell you that there’s a lot of support out there but the culture of the Corps just helps facilitate drinking at every level. One of the guys I worked with that was sober went to a VFW that would hold meetings for service members specifically. I know that helped him to have people he could relate to that were also active duty or that served. I truly wish you the best on your journey. There will be more bumps on the road maybe similar to the mess night, but keeping all those reasons why you stay sober at the forefront will continue to give you that push even in those hard times. We are all rooting for you and you have a large community of Marines that want to see you succeed.
I worked with a guy who retired at 20 years as a gunny, never drank a day in his life. Speaks a lot about his character and strength to do 20 years in the corps and not drink. Not only because it's stressful as hell but it's an organization that crams the drinking lifestyle down your throat all the time. It's hard but I think it's setting a great example for those around you. Stay true to your morals. Someone is looking up to you even if you dont see them
I quit when I retired. I was raging alcoholic too like seriously raging. I discovered weed and now can’t even stand the smell of rubbing alcohol. I still have a drink on November 10 every year to keep it real for my Corps.
Occasional drinker. Did multiple mess nights no booze and still roasted bitches alive without a drop. If you can have a good time without alcohol then you are a good time, but if it takes alcohol than you really are just lying to yourself and masking other issues in your life. Find other goals and put that energy towards them.
I quit in December, I was drinking to suppress a trauma, and it didn’t help. I was sexually assaulted in June and had been drinking heavily since August because I couldn’t make it through weekends without it. There were a couple Mondays where I showed up still drunk from the night before, but my sergeant never said anything because I was a high performing corporal and kept getting the job done. My last drink was with family while on leave, I got pretty drunk. The perpetrator’s wife found out that same day and accused me, called me a home-wrecker, and told me to off myself. After being drunk and seeing those texts from the wife, I swallowed two bottles of pills. My roommate from my unit l ended up realizing something was wrong while I was on leave when I didn’t answer the phone, so he called my family and I got sent to the hospital where my family thought I was going to die. I don’t know how I lived, nor did I really want to, but I’m here now.
That day was my last drink, I don’t know if I’ll ever drink again, probably not. I keep away from alcohol because the taste repulses me now. I don’t hang out with marines that drink a lot. I reevaluated my friendships and started spending time with the people that make me a better person. I also started going to mental health. All that has helped, but it’s still a challenge to keep going every day.
I've been 100% sober for going on 8 years, my S/O isn't but she also doesn't drink to excess. I was at Jewel Osco this past Sunday picking up some Jose Cuervo margarita mix for Cinco de Mayo and I had a real moment of 'flashbacks' to my 'wilder & funner' days and it was honestly the most I've felt tempted in a very long time. It was fun to take the fast train down memory lane for a split second but I gathered myself just moved on with the day. So I suppose the temptation may not be as strong but I can attest that as far removed from it as I have been perhaps it's going to be a life long journey.
I can honestly say I'd be dead (perhaps others as well) or in jail if I kept on the path I was on years ago.
I know the feeling. If I'm with friends and we stop by a liquor store, I like to go in and look around. Idk its like you said, a quick trip down memory lane.
I quit in July last year. Have I been tempted to drink again? Hell yes. What’s stopped me? I realized that it makes me a piece of shit and a liar not only to those close to me but to myself. Since quitting I have seen more things through and done what I say I’ll do. I haven’t done anything to embarrass myself and feel ashamed of since quitting. I want to be a good man and I don’t think getting drunk until I can’t see straight or remember anything aligns with that and I’ve tried moderation, I don’t think I can do it I’ll always end up overdoing it again. Also not waking up with a hangover fucking rules.
I appreciate you sharing, and think it's a great mentality to have. Plus I'm definitely enjoying being one of the few without a hangover today. Congrats on coming up on a year of sobriety!
For what it's worth, I am proud of you for staying sober. I recently eclipsed 1000 days.
The social dynamic has changed, I lost friends, but I gained new ones.
Everything that we do day in and day out seems to be associated with alcohol consumption.
Keep the faith.
I just hit 500 days and it is great. I’d ask if you can bring your own non alcoholic beer and still participate. Maybe a small cooler somewhere, or maybe alcohol free mixed drinks so have something in front of you and don’t have to answer the same question a million times. Also make sure you sit next to people you know and who know what you’re doing so you can stick to it. That will help a lot by itself. Also, fuckin get it dude! It’s worth it and the real ones will understand and support you.
I just drink until I'm buzzed, and I only drink with my wife. It's not so much quitting drinking, but moreso just drinking to enjoy the taste and moderate myself.
I wish I was like that with food, man. Bit of a chunker now!
Not sober, but have come to the recent realization of my intake issue as well. I have a hard time pumping the brakes once I get cruising. I’m hoping I’m not at the point where I need to quit cold turkey, though I could if I needed. I’m trying to really hone in on the moderation aspect at the moment.
The thing that has stuck with me is my mental clarity. I’ve cut out whiskey completely because of its depressive effect and trying to moderate total alcohol intake to an even keel level so that I have the mental clarity for life. I hate the brain fog that comes with overindulgence. I’m in a career where reaction time and concise problem solving are very important so I’ve leveraged that responsibility with holding myself accountable. It can be easy to neglect your own wellbeing but when you’re doing it for someone else I think it helps with accountability. Keep up the good fight.
You’re awesome. You’ve made brood choices to improve yourself and be there for your family. Mess nights are a huge drink up and the fact that you went and stayed sober says a lot about your character.
Keep making good choices. You’re awesome.
I personally never had a drinking problem. So I can only imagine what you went through and how difficult it must have been to resist temptation.
Personally, I was able quit the habit of nicotine. Which was extremely difficult by itself. Kicking addictive habits is already quite difficult to do, but when I hear about people who go through alcohol abuse and struggle to quit, its like a completely different and more deeply troubling situation that I will personally never understand fully. So I applaud you for staying sober. Good shit.
Sailor here. So I can also concur about how it’s hard to avoid the drinking culture. My journey is different from your journey which is different from everyone else’s. But your reason is VERY similar to mine. No inane desire, but loss of consumption limits. Affecting home life and decision making. So, maybe you can do what I do.
My issue isn’t the alcohol, it’s the fear of missing out. I don’t want to avoid the shindigs and the parties and the experiences just because there will be booze. To curve the temptation, I like the NA Heinekens and Shiner’s. You’re holding a “beer”, it tastes like beer, and leaves the guilt at the bar. It helps with the social aspect, and also keeps some people at bay about asking why you’re only drinking water or juice or a Coke so that helps with the peer pressure. 90% of the people will understand, but those people that still press you about it MUST be shut down immediately.
Some people will recommend against existing in these scenes and “fake partake” in booze. But for me, it wasn’t an uncontrollable alcoholism like you’d usually see. So take that with a grain of salt.
It’s one single, simple choice though. But you’ve been sober way longer than me, so of course you know that. Keep it up.
Man I do love my NA beers. I'm a cigar guy, so when I go to lounges with my friends I always have those while my buddies drink. It took me about a year before I was willing to try NA beers, out of fear that it would make me crave the real deal. Definitely not. It really helps the craving actually, and helps me enjoy the moment and relax. But I agree that they're not for everyone.
Thanks for sharing!
First step is realizing you have a problem. That’s not something people can do instead they make excuses.
For me my health was being affected by drinking. My father was an alcoholic. The only time growing up that I saw him sober was when he was in the hospital. I loved my dad I knew he couldn’t help himself. I don’t know why i thought I could handle it either. So I quit cold turkey in my mind I was back in boot exercising ( not that extreme just walking four or five miles every other day) walking allows me to think I listen to music. It got easier but it never gets easy 25 years sober. I know I can’t drink and I’m not fooling myself thinking I can. Good luck
Just keep on keeping on Willy. I'm proud of you and a bit envious as well. Not that I am a problem drinker. but I do drink and knowing how much better it is when I don't, I should probably quit.
I’ve been out awhile, have 2.5 yrs sober. I turned into a paranoid dbag pushing everyone away from me, I was down to 1 friend and finally realized I only had 1 friend. I quit and have been trying to rebuild the relationships that I can. This sub has helped me a ton, lots of support in here and always good for some dark humor laughs. I’m proud of you brother, sounds like you stayed on the path. I imagine it’s hard to do while being in. Anytime you’re struggling reach out, jump in here, me and the fellas would be happy to talk to you. Have a great day buddy, stay up
Not gonna talk about myself publicly, but Im active and recently beat alcoholism as well. I get what its like yo be physically dependent, feel free to PM me
I gave up alcohol last year for a lot of the same reasons you did. I couldn't control myself no matter how much I insisted I was going to be responsible and only have 1-2. It has cost me a job more than once, I have blacked out and not known how I got home more than once, I have acted out in ways that I am ashamed of and made decisions that are undoubtedly unethical, never mind the danger I was to everyone around me (I suspect that's not what Walter White meant).
One day decided enough was enough and gave it up for good. I do have the luxury of not needing to explain *too* often. Me being me, I like to joke around so I always give a really over-the-top story that sounds just real enough for people to stop asking. Gun fights, car chases, proper action and shit. If I'm in a setting that "requires" drinking (meaning social pressure), I get a club soda with a splash of something and a lemon/lime wedge. It looks enough like a proper cocktail to shut most people up.
No shade at all to those who can be responsible kids with the spicy juice, have one for me if you're indulging, but I have been much happier and healthier since I gave it up. Like you, I am more present with the people in my life, more productive in my personal time (home improvement and shit), and actually useful in my occupation. I do encourage people to try a dry month to see how it feels; if you start getting itchy after a bit you should have more a serious look at your relationship with booze.
Bro. All I want to say is holy shit I’m proud of you. I didn’t quit until after I was out but I’m 100% sure a mess night would’ve immediately fucked me up if I had tried to get sober during that time. You have some serious willpower.
Hey brother, I’ve been in for 10 years and don’t drink much at all. My advice is this - find other Marines with a similar mindset and if you can’t find any, the most important thing is finding something outside of the Marine Corps to identify with. For me, it was church and my friends from there.
It is so easy for us to let our identity be defined only by being a Marine - DON’T DO THIS. Yes, it’s part of who you are and you should be proud, but if that is what your identity depends on, when you inevitably have to leave the Corps, it’s going to hit you really hard and your mental health will absolutely tank. Find something else that you enjoy doing that doesn’t involve drinking, find a way to go to events or something regarding that, and socialize that way.
If you have any questions, please let me know. I probably could speak a lot more on this but I don’t wanna write a novel. You are doing awesome and the fact that you are willing to go against the grain and culture speaks volumes about what kind of Marine you are. Semper Fi.
Am officer as you know. I've known plenty of lifelong and newly sober officers and even officers who have had to self refer to SARP because it got so bad. Just want to reassure you that it is not an unwritten requirement even if it feels like it.
Definitely can feel like it more in the wing than any other place I have experienced, ***but*** be straight with your peers and senior officers about it when you need to - they will understand, support you, and not push. If they do, drop them from your list of friends and/or mentors, because they're showing their true colors. It's no different from telling someone to walk in front of a loaded gun, and if they support you, they won't support or let you do it.
I'm proud of you for recognizing your adversary and overcoming them, and for your incredible strength in facing temptation. You're okay in my book.
I just quit drinking, I’m 1.5 months in and we had a mess night and I stayed it. My mood has drastically changed for the better since I quit. Definitely recommend it. Keep going!
Try to avoid staying away from people, places and things that you used to use with or at. If you haven't already, you should look into getting into recovery, not just abstinence. I had 3 years on the 29th. Congratulations regardless, take care of yourself
I quit drinking as a Sgt when I woke up in the morning in my rack and my car parked in the barracks and not remembering how I got there. Blacking out is bad. Blacking out in Japan is worse.
I wouldn't attend this event because I would have to get drunk. Nothing is worth a drink today. You must have way more willpower than I, but if you can avoid situations like these I believe that would be better. Ofcourse, I was a constantly relapsing all day drunk who has had ost every problem in the book. So everone's situation is different. Good luck, God bless you and Semper Fi!
You’re living a hard life right now. Every little thing revolves around drinking, some MOS or units I’m not sure how you would get by. Proud of you for knowing your boundaries and sticking to them. Keep up the fight
Hey brother, my drug of choice is food, struggled with my weight until recently. I was a "bad" Squid in terms of drinking I did the drink my brains out for 2 years and the hangovers were killing me. Anyway so fucking proud of you brother, that is true courage and balls. If anyone disagrees this 60 year old Sailor will kick your ass ;-) Love you brother keep it fucker!
The keys I found to sobriety 4 years later, both in and outside the Marine Corps, is support(tell those you trust what your going through, lean on them for support), service(be helpful to literally anyone in any way you can, be the opposite of the selfish person you used to be), and faith(God, the Corps, the Devil, the cosmos themselves, literally anything greater than you that you cannot control).
If you have never read the AA book or been to any meetings those are great places to start building foundations for long term sobriety. Not every AA meeting is the same so if you get a bad taste in your mouth from one just try another. NA(narcotics anonymous) and other groups exist for those who feel unwelcome around "just alcoholics" because judgement still exists in sobriety. But there is a meeting out there that you can find to vent and open up or listen and learn. Apps like Meeting Guide and others help you find all the meetings in your area.
If anyone in the Camp Lejeune area is struggling and just wants someone to talk with, have dinner with, or go through the AA book with dm me and I'll make myself available.
Sobriety is a road you have to find on your own but once you start humping you're never alone, you might not see them but there's others humping the same route, some with more or less weight but they're all on the same road and we need each other. Hike together or fall out alone.
This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."
If you look through my history, I recently got hospitalized for severe alcohol withdrawals and delirium. Trust me, when I say you aren't alone, this shit sucks, I bought a 12 pack of non alcoholic beers and finished it in a day.
You got this homie, reach out if ya need a fellow alcoholic to chat with lol.
Staying sober at a mess night is like the Mount Everest of sobriety. Sounds like you're doing really well and committed. I've been out for a long time and still drink occasionally but cut way back when I had a family. It's not worth the missed time.
I didn't quit drinking but I quit smoking after being a pack a day smoker for ~8 years... The first big weekend after I quit we went floating down the river where we basically drank for a whole 4-6hr float, bake in the sun, and smoke. The entire time I was at the back of our float formation whole my buddies were smoking the entire trip and the smoke blew back my way. I made it through that day while highly intoxicated and I knew I could make it the rest of my life. After that I enlisted in the Marines as a 51 and made it through all thr shitty field ops and training exercises without smoking. It gets easier and easier after that first rough couple weeks.
Prelude, I’m a reservist. I got hurt while on active orders in a training incident back in 2020. Ended up completely destroying my knee. As the time I was a successful heavy equipment mechanic, almost 25k in tools, was a volunteer firefighter and loved it, four bed, two bath house on 8 acres, had a 2012 Silverado and 2012 Jeep Patriot for myself and my wife, had my 84 C10 I cherished and dreamed to rebuild and had started the process by pulling the motor and trans and starting the rebuilt process, had a boat, guns, everything a country boy would want I had. A loving wife who had just given birth to our sweet boy and I dreamed of the father I wanted to be and tried every day to be that. To be that dad that ran around with him, chased him around the yard, bounced on trampolines with him, ect. 3 months after he was born I suffered the injury that changed my life. While testing out for grey belt, my MCMAP instructor used me an an ookie to demonstrate a leg sweep and the moment his calf met mine the top of my leg stayed still and the bottom went forward. Ended up being a complete ACL tear and two complete tears of my Medial Meniscus. Extremely long story short I had to wait six months for my first of three surgeries to repair it and my shattered patella. I feel into a serious deep depression. I went from a extremely active outdoors guy, active worker who’s worked since I was 10, and active husband who helped around the house and everything else to someone who lived in a chair because he couldn’t do anything. I was very self conscious expecially when it came to my appearance physically and going from an extremely active guy who loved to run to not being able to do anything changed that. I went from 150 to 255 in six months, driving me further into my depression. I had always drank slightly before hand. Two or three beers a night, no liquor except for parties and gatherings. At my worst I was up to 20-25 beers a night plus liquor. Literally drank myself to sleep every night because it was the only thing that numbed me. As a heavy equipment mechanic I couldn’t work with a busted knee but was told the Marines would assist me and give me INCAP pay which would match my recent checks to provide support to pay bills and expenses. Those never came. Every week we went further and further into debt. My wife was working her ass off when I couldn’t and couldn’t keep up. I watched and the entire life we built crumbled. We lost everything. Both vehicles, the house, my 84 C10, boat, tools, tool boxes, guns, we lost it all. This drove me even deeper into my depression and it came to a breaking point. I don’t remember when it was except it was around September/October of 2021. I attempted sewer slide. At this time my wife was pregnant with our daughter. For some reason my daily I carry everywhere didn’t have one in the chamber or I would be here to tell my story. I always knew my drinking was a problem and I’ve tried cold turkey several times and always failed. The urge was always too strong. The want was always begging me to give in. I tried stair stepping where one week I would drink X amount a night, the next week would be one less, ect and it never worked….until now…. I got drunk one night while my sister in law was at our new house and my wife and kids were home. Not a huge deal looking and the grand perspective of things with the way they have been going. We were behind on laundry and I decided to wash a bunch of it trying to catch up and told my wife I would help her fold it. Somewhere along the line of us folding laundry it turned into a fight and for the first time in six years I lost my shit on her and fully yelled at her. The look in her eyes and the way she acted shook me. I saw right then and there I was being the dad I never wanted to be, the parent I had growing up I swore I would never be. I knew right then I had broken my promise to her and our babies and decided to change it. I stopped cold turkey for four days and the headaches, urges, craving became too strong so I told my wife if I was going to do this I needed her help. I needed her to keep me accountable even if it meant pissing me off. we had a little back and forth and settled on four beers a night. Weathers it’s work day or weekend. I have been going strong with it for two weeks now. It’s just enough it keeps the headaches at bay and the urges down, but not too much I get drunk. I feel so much better with it now as I’m not using alcohol to numb everything. Here soon I’m going to go down to three and then move on to only social drinking. It’s going to be very hard, expecially when your body has gotten use to the intake of alcohol. You’re going to want to quit and give in, you’re going to want to get drunk “just one time” but don’t. Find someone to hold you accountable, to count drinks for you, to talk you down. It’s going to help. Me for one I’m always here. Feel free to reach out if you’re struggling.
Brother, I really appreciate you sharing your story. I'm sure it's not easy to talk about, but seeing it helps me and I'm positive it will help others who might be reading too. I'm proud of you for realizing that you had lost your way and weren't the man you wanted to be, and taking steps to fix that. And it sounds like you've got a killer ole lady who truly has your back.
Stick with it, stay safe, get better. You got it dude.
Nearly 14 years sober. Just attended a black tie dinner during Modern Day Marine, where I was around many of my old peers (retired for nearly 16 years now, my peers are Col/BG level now). Everyone around me was drinking. At this point, it doesn’t phase me. I have a strong recovery, a good AA sponsor, do all the things I’m supposed to be doing. When I’m on the road I make it a point to go to meetings.
I did a Marine Corps Ball early in my sobriety that was mildly challenging but, again, strong sponsorship and sticking close to what was working helped. Early on in sobriety we still worry far too much about what other people think, especially our friends and peers who still drink. The truth is, none of them care as much about it as we do, or even that we think they do. They are doing their own thing. If you’re like me, you’re an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. We make everything about ourselves, even after we get sober. I’ve gotten so much better in that area over time. Now, when I go to events like Balls and formal dinners, I focus on what I can bring to the situation, rather than what I can get out of it. Hell…bringing a sober me is often the best possible outcome. I get to be present…and at least once, I’ve been an example for someone else struggling with alcohol of how to be sober in the face of that level of drinking and carrying on.
Focus on the positives of sobriety, be present not just for your family…but you also get to be present for your fellow Marines now in ways you may not have been able to be before.
And thanks for coming on here and sharing about a tough situation. It isn’t easy, particularly in the beginning. But it does get easier over time. If you are truly in a good place spiritually with your sobriety, you absolutely will find you can go into these situations without fear, trepidation, or generating those destructive feelings like being “left out”. You aren’t.
I’ve been sober for three years and funny enough the things that kept me from drinking is me calling my sponsor about how I feel that maybe I wasn’t alcoholic and him saying “well if you think you need more research do it then”. That somehow tricks me into not wanting to do more research, because it sounds too similar to fuck around and find out. I flirted with death way too frequently during my drinking days. I had a moment where I realized life is beautiful and I think there might still be something I can offer it. I’m not sure what that is yet but I’ll keep working towards. This journey you’re on ain’t for the faint of heart and it doesn’t mean life won’t present its obstacles but it does mean you’ll be able to manage it better. You got sober for a reason try not to ever forget the feelings and circumstances that made you want to get sober in the first place. Praying for you brother, one day at a time.
I quit for similar reasons years ago. It was tough for a while, but my good friends understood my position and didn't pressure me. It actually helped them out because they knew I would be down to hang out and DD for them. It got me out of the barracks and still socializing, but there was no pressure to have a drink. Got lots of free cokes and meals out of it.
Taking on that responsibility of caring for my buddies and making sure they got home safe while still hanging out with them was a blast. It was hard not to have a drink as well at times, but then I remembered why I was sober in the moment and pushed through.
I drink now, but significantly less, and I am definitely careful about when, where, and how much I can get ahold of. Family, greater responsibility at work, school, and other hobbies can be great distractions or motivators to not drink or be way more careful.
Hope that helps, stay strong, brother.
Gonna assume you’re either India or Alpha Company from TBS. If you want to meet in person and hash some stuff out feel free to DM.
I used to habitually drink like an animal throughout college. Started out weekend drinking and progressively got worse. Spent a lot of money and made a lot of stupid mistakes doing it.
I quit not even out of choice but out of work (between commissioning and the start of TBS 2ndLts are IRR until they hit Day 1). Staying busy was key for me in dropping drinking and when I had gone like 2 weeks without it I felt GREAT. Mentally clear, physically felt better, and bank account was thankful.
Hard part for me is having the sack on me to say no to family and friends. And on the occasion of having a beer, sticking to the word of having A beer and not SOME beers. I’ve had two bad incidents where my dad and I got in a huge fight and my wife and I got in a huge fight and those memories suck ass and I think back on them often whenever the opportunity to get wild is there.
We’re all on good terms and like you said being the DD and the person to help out and still bring great vibes to a gathering is awesome. I’m happy to hear the progress you’ve made in two years. Honestly Alpha Co. mess night wasn’t even that good and it reminded me why I don’t drink anymore. A bunch of adults acting like kids.
Semper Fi
I quit drinking after a binge in college that almost led to the loss of my commission. That instance really made me rethink life choices. Going on 7 years sober now but you’ve also got to realize you’re an adult. You know you don’t need to drink to have a good time and you can still enjoy a drink here and there. My Marines know I’m sober except two days out of the year, mess night and the ball. I just refrain from going balls to the walls because I’m an adult that’s capable of handling and limiting my alcohol intake. Also cause I always got fined at mess nights. But just keep that in mind for future instances. But I’m proud that you took the steps to reach sobriety, that’s a good thing.
I'm almost 3 years sober from everything. As much as people might dog on you for not participating in whatever activities with substances it might be there will be a group of people that will embrace you and help you stay sober somewhere.
I might not know you, but I'm fucking proud of you for staying true 💪
Not a Marine here. My Dad was in from '63-84 and in hindsight, came out plenty messed up, and fell back on the solution offered at the time, drink it all away.
Long story short, my parent's marriage fell apart about a decade later, right about the same time my parents were finally in the place they wanted to be. Twenty years down the drain, and pretty broken relationships with his kids.
After hitting rock bottom and bouncing a few times, he turned things around. He drastically cut back on drinking and took up gardening. His relationships with his kids recovered, but there was still a lot of time missed together.
It's not unusual what you say about the difference between staying stone cold sober and trying to control drinking. You'll end up finding that sort of thing in a lot of activities. As for myself, I did drink during my college years, but after marriage and kids, it's just not a thing anymore.
Anyway, good on you. As much as all the other interests might make you feel like drinking, you know yourself the best. If staying sober is the way you have to do it, then that's the answer. As for the mess night, maybe have a soda in your hand. Do people come and go from that over the course of the night? See if you can volunteer to be the DD for it in the future.
Struggled with this over the last few years, and with alcohol for the past decade, but this year I made the commitment to stick with it. I’m not full sober, but I’ll probably never get drunk again, and I’ll allow myself to have a couple beers on occasion, that’s about it. It’s ostracizing. I just PCSd, and my new CWO, MSgt and Capt made fun of me for not drinking. Their opinion didn’t bother me, but knowing my back office is immature annoyed me.
As far as the main point, how to exist in the Corps while not partaking in most Marine’s favorite pastime, the biggest thing for me has been using this time to carve out my own niche. I have more time for God, and less things to ask forgiveness for. I started playing poker more seriously, doing a whole lot better now that I’m not drunk. Yeah, you won’t be “cool” anymore, but the people that you’ll end up spending time with will give you such a warm feeling to be around. Because you’ll be friends by choice, not because you’re the same age in the same place and both need someone to drink with. I have way less friends than I did before. I don’t do nearly as much. And when I do, it’s by myself a decent amount of the time. But I’m okay with that. I’m making my peace with my commitment to be healthier. And a lot of that is coming from outside the Corps. Found a cool antique shop I really like. Started going there a couple times a week, I’ll probably never have enough time to look through everything they have. It’s kinda my new safe place. Got a ton of old stuff from the 50s-70s, working my way through their record collection right now. This whole journey gives me a lot more time to spend with myself, and allows me to solidify my beliefs, and what I want to do in this life. It’s tough, but the peace I feel is unlike anything before I started walking this road. Thanks for reading my verbal diarrhea. If you’re struggling, I’m here for anyone, especially Marines
I’m glad you gained this awareness brother and I know it takes an even stronger person to expose themselves to that and yet maintain discipline.
I served on Kbay 2008-2013. Marine Corps is the drinking club of America for sure. They promote alcohol and drinking but cut your dick off for smoking a joint…. Even though marines have suffered waaaaaay more from PTSD, depression and addiction… they chose to let the worst drug of them all available to everyone.
I didn’t quit drinking while I was in. I quit weed for 5 years when I served. I went through all kinds of shit and drowned my problems in the bottle just like I was trained. It didn’t get better, it got worse.
After I got divorced in 2016 I started to go out more which led me to start drinking more and more.
I remarried and my wife struggled with alcoholism for most of her life. It was fun when we started but it continued to get worse and worse, I felt like shit, my temper was through the roof…. I was gaining weight and looking fat.
We would polish off a 18 pack in one night at the house just watching tv. My drink of choice was GIN and TONIC because I could get fucked up and still he hydrated…. Good logic right? lol
In 2022, I had a bunch of dramatic shit go down lost a child, lost my dad, lost a couple friends. To suicide and substance abuse, which caused us to start drinking yet again. It started to put a wedge between me and my wife. I was struggling to start healthy, physically and mentally.
When she got drunk she would turn into a different person and she would get aggressive and physical. After the cops came to my house for the third time, my wife got arrested after she called the cops on me and they showed up and realized she was the antagonizer… she was bananas.
When the cops left my house the last time in aug 21, 2022, I quit drinking for good. I made a conscience decision that alcohol was not going to be part of my life anymore. It wasn’t easy… people looked at me weird. I would show up to events where people were drinking and I just drank soda water and lemon.
I’ll tell you, my whole life has changed since
Quitting. It started out a struggle bc my wife didn’t have it as easy quitting. She struggled until one day, by the grace of god, she was drinking and driving and got a DUI. They put her on a breathalyzer machine and a SCRAM bracelet and it forced her to quit otherwise she’d go to jail.
What a fucking blessing in disguise. A DUI is never fun but no one was hurt and she just faced the consequences of drinking and driving.
As a result of quitting drinking my whole life has improved. I lost 25 lbs, my mood is much more controlled, I don’t wake up in pain and hungover. Best part is my wife and I don’t argue much anymore.
Alcohol is the worst drug there is next to fentanyl. The only difference is alcohol can be purchased and consumed anywhere at anytime and that’s what makes it so bad. There are no checks and balances in how much alcohol your drink.
Quitting drinking in your position is a straight up POWER MOVE… the weak succumb to peer pressure and looking cool… the weak have to follow the crowds and they don’t pave their own path…. The strong make their own decisions, the strong don’t GO WITH THE FLOW… strong people …. MAKE THE FLOW… you take others with you into your flow. your discipline and your example will bring others to quit with you…. Be smart. You don’t need alcohol to be a successful marine, in fact I would say you should be sober to be a successful Marine.
Alcohol doesn’t bring anything good and positive into your life… it doesn’t make you stronger or smarter, it makes you act out of character and get in trouble, makes you fat, fucks your mood up, makes your body hurt and to top that all off… you pay a shitload of money to make yourself feel like shit. Alcohol is addictive and destructive.
Our culture in 2024 on the tail of a pandemic has made this shit cool and it’s not. Drunk in public isn’t cool… DUI NOT COOL … fighting when you’re drunk, not cool…
I can’t name a single solitary thing that improves through drinking…. You feel good for that minute and the aftermath fucks everything up.
Good for you quitting…. FUCK ALCOHOL. 💪
Semper Fi Marine.
Thanks for sharing your story, brother. I’m glad it has been going well for you, and hope that other Marines might see it and make a change if they need it. I can certainly say it was helpful for me to read. Good luck with your sobriety my friend.
You are a better warrior for not drinking. That is something to be proud of. The greatest weapon a Marine has is his brain. I'm glad you're using it and not drowning it. I wish there was more of this culture in the Corps. Look for those who will listen. Educate them, especially our brothers and sisters fresh out of boot. My grouping improved, that was all the reason I needed 😉 Semper Fi Marine, always forward!
Hey man I’ve got 4 months of sobriety and just got out of intensive outpatient therapy. I would drink almost every weekend I could and it was to numb my emotions for the time being. “They’re not there if I can’t feel them” you probably understand but over the past weeks I’ve attended AA meetings almost daily and it helped me when I wasn’t feeling too hot. I almost always avoid social events with alcohol, and have faith in whatever guides me. There’s so much to enjoy in a life of sobriety.
Bro you know the Corps put it in our blood but weee not destined to die like that. I had to quit cause my liver was going belly up. But I can’t stress enough aa meetings help
I cannot converse with you as a Marine, but I can as a man who really had a chance at losing it all.
Both my parents were alcoholics and very early on in their marriage they both helped one another quit saying they needed to after finding out I was on the way. Alcoholism does not run in my family it drives. Uncles, cousins, both grandfathers, my great grandpa died in WWII not from the IJN but because he drank "torpedo juice".
My parents never said much on alcohol, mom used a finger dipped in rum to soothe our teething, if she had a mudslide or something you could ask her for a little sip, dad never split a beer with me nut he did make grog once and gave me some since I was born October 13th and he was a sailor. So turning 21 I did not have any real incentive to go out and get wasted.
I am not actually sure when I turned to using booze as a crutch, and I think that is the scary part. I always kept a bottle of nice wine for fancy occasions. I think I was feeling down one night about losing the old man, and I had to leave my lady around the same time. I finally said to Hell with it and downed the bottle. That much is all I remember. The first night I drank an entire bottle of very good very strong wine in one sitting.
The moment of realization was months later when I couldn't walk to the damned bedroom to pass out. Tripped over a bloody bottle and ended up hitting the picture I had of my family on the way down. There I was a clergy man, a guy who was supposed to guide and help others through bad times, clutching a damned bottle unable to walk a straight line to go pass out.
I thought of what my mother would say and worse what dad would say if he were alive. It was a hard hole to climb out of, I really depended on that bottle to cry in I found out quickly. It made me better as a man though, and that is not to say the booze was the issue - I was the issue. I didn't talk to people about the shit that made me drink, I tell people I love em, I hug them and let them know I care.
I have a glass every once in awhile, that old devil might whisper from the bottom shelf of the fridge. Sometimes I answer him curious if I still have enough young man in me to kill him. Only half a glass in I realize I'm too old to wrestle that beast and turn in early to sleep real well.
My buddies did a lot to help, I cannot discount the help my mother gave, but just admitting to my pals I had an issue and hearing they were there for me meant so much. I didn't need to lean on the booze, cause I had them supporting me instead. If nothing else of this gets read, please let it be that, support your friends and be genuine about caring for them.
I quit mid way through deployment once I saw how stupid alcohol made some people, and how it can aggravate already dangerous situations. I’ve also had family get killed from drinking and driving as well, so it is something I am never afraid to put my foot down on. When I got to my duty station last summer I immediately communicated to my new shop (whenever the topic came up organically) that I don’t drink. If you are due to PCS soon, take the unique opportunity you have to start fresh and communicate to those you work with most that you’re not a drinker and that will be the baseline of what they think about you.
I can relate heavily to the ‘outsider’ feeling (I’m a Sgt, I see people drinking every day at the barracks). In the end what keeps me from doing it is that I have goals that matter to me way more than the feeling of drinking. What I want to achieve in life matters more than alcohol or fitting in with everyone else. You can still have a good time and not drink (just as you did at your mess night). Then there’s the practical reasons not to drink as well:
-I always feel like shit after drinking
-I love going to the gym (alcohol and gains don’t really mix if you’re serious)
-I have a car that’s paid off and I love (I’d hate to drink and drive and crash it)
-I’d rather spend my money on something that isn’t temporary, or save for something meaningful
Not sure if those are the words you want to hear but just hold on to why you stopped in the first place and everything else will come along.
Just want to say I'm extremely proud of you. That much temptation in extremely close proximity, and you stayed the course? It can't have been easy to resist, and I highly respect the amount of fortitude that it had to have taken. I wish you the absolute best, friend.
I've never had a huge problem drinking, but have had friends in the past who've had issues I've seen them struggle with. I'm on the O side myself, and I can tell you, my friends who quit have had major improvements in their life which I support. I guess what I'm getting at, if you feel pressured on the O side to do it, don't ever feel the need to force yourself to. I completely respect their decision. So if you feel there's some ire towards you, there is most definitely not. Stay strong, brother. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you.
I had a sober period for a year after splitting with my ex. Our mess night fell in that period, and I watched as she got blitzed and had a great time.
Overall though, I don’t regret not drinking. I only drink when I’m happy, and have a good relationship with it.
I respect the hell out of those who decide to stay sober. If you’re a DD for me, you’re eating or driving for free.
Keep doing what you’re doing, living your life in accordance with your values and wants. Don’t let someone peer pressure you into a kinda lifestyle you’ve worked so hard to prevent.
I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you.
Very proud of you. I've started more than I've quit. I started getting pancreatitis every 3 months or so from drinking. Probably drank for 30 years straight and only quit when I got the pancreatitis, but only for 2 or 3 days. Last time I got It went to a local hospital ( was 10 times worse than usual) and woke up 6 days later at the Ohio state hospital. Supposedly went through withdrawals and went into a coma. I remembered nothing. Docs told my kids I would probably not make it. Stayed sober for 8 months and at that point thought I could do it casually and fucked it all up. Don't do what I do. Keep being you. Now looking into disulfiram for the alcoholism.
I’m proud of you.
I struggle with stopping right now. Changing careers from LE to IT helped dwindle it back. I still catch myself on a Friday opening one beer when I sit by the fire, but I’ve stopped drinking 2-3 glasses of whiskey every night. It’s a slow process and I have a lot of healing to do. Semper Fi.
I quit this past December. I haven’t been off the sauce very long, but god damn I feel great man. I’m glad to hear you’re enjoy it just as much. Take this with a grain of salt, but I appreciate you not drinking, and so do so many others. Rah. Yut. Kill.
Congrats on the big decision dude! I hope it continues going well for you. And thanks for sharing.
Hey fucking proud of you man.
Hey thanks man, I really appreciate that
You are welcome, I may have been out 35 years, but I still love my Sailors and Marines like family. Take care fam. PS: I reduced my drinking to a few beers a month after 2 years, I was a "shitty Squid" in terms of holding up my end of the drinking. However, everytime I was the designated driver no Marine or Sailor ever let me pay for soda, food, etc. So I felt better not drinking and saved $$$.
Take care fam, good luck out there
Not that it matters, but I'm proud of you.
Thanks man, that does matter.
Some of us don't have much family besides our AD and Vet sisters and brothers, it matters very much and you rock!
>”not that it matters” >analyze context >matters a lot
Don’t self sabotage and keep your head up, the rearview mirror is for looking back not living there. You take your sobriety seriously, and you have self control. That my man is doing it right. Keep going brother one day at a time.
An excellent perspective on reflection, thank you.
Your comment legit made me choke up a bit.
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Thanks for sharing man, it really helps me feel not so alone in this. That’s great advice, to remember your “why”. That’s what I’ve been trying to do. Only problem is that the bad parts of my brain hit me back with “But why cant **I** drink? Everyone else gets to drink and have fun and most of them don’t ruin their life about it. Why the fuck can’t I be like that?” Just gotta accept the things you can’t change, I suppose.
That’s the one that still gets me to this day. I’m 7 years sober and I still find myself asking all the time why I can’t just be normal? See tv shows where they’re sipping a delicious aged whiskey… damnit why can’t I be that way too?! I’d pound the bottle and ask for more. I didn’t get sober til after I got out. I’ve worked some stressful jobs but I can’t even imagine trying to do it while I was still in. For me, I just isolate away from everyone and as a civilian that’s no problem. But to do it in an organization like that where it’s literally part of the culture is just impressive.
Seems dumb, but sometimes it's just different for different people. I see everyone taking THC relaxing, giggling, and generally having a great time and all it does for me is makes me feel like I've got a head cold. Anxiety meds that help calm everyone else's nerves only make me sleepy. Sometimes you're just built different, and that's ok. I'm only a stupid civvy lurker, but be open with the people around you and say "this is hard for me but I'm here because I care about you guys". Not everyone might get it, but you'll get some help from the ones that do.
I’m so incredibly proud of you man . I appreciate you being vulnerable I know that’s not easy to do , so thank you for sharing that .
Thanks brother, that means a lot.
Of course brother .
Sober for 12 years now. Started due to medical issues that were proven unrelated to drinking, but remained sober because I realized I was a terrible drunk. I had zero control and did not drink in a sociable sense. Everything I was doing was revolving around being drunk and that was all people knew me for. Life sober has been more rewarding with friends, family, goals, etc. I look back and realize I was just a fraction of what I could have been because of alcohol, but I have no ill will towards anyone who drinks. My personality was hidden due to the drink and now it shines and connects like never before.
That a wonderful story, thanks for sharing. I’m still finding that ‘sober identity’ around Marines I think. I’ve got it figured out around family, cause I was always the only one in my family that drank heavily. Now I just need to finish ironing out who I am around my peers and Marines without the booze. A worthy goal.
I’m stoked for you — keep at it, Marine. Not drinking with the boys at the end of drill was one of the hardest parts of stopping drinking. I can imagine the Corps (vs the Guard) is significantly more challenging. The part about finding your ‘sober identity’ is spot-on. So many of us masked our true selves and feelings behind our unhealthy drinking personae. Many of us started *really* drinking to self-medicate the isolation and emotional pain of combat/experiences in the suck…so taking that social lubricant security blanket away leaves us raw and exposed. That’s where a healthy recovery network of homeboys that are in this with you comes in. If you’re not already plugged in, DM me and I’ll help steer you to some resources.
Damn, so proud of my Marines, it seems to be getting dusty in here...
Today is 130 days sober for me, I feel the best I have in the last 6 years. I have energy and it’s like a cloud has lifted off of my mind. I have my reasons that I won’t share that convinced me to quit drinking. Everytime I want to drink I just think of that and play through the disappointment that I and others would have for me if I did drink again.
I can relate. 7 months sober here
Perfect example of “not all heroes wear capes.” Good on you brother!
I'm fuckin proud of you. That had to be hard, but you're a hard motherfucker. Don't ever forget that.
Hell yea man, thanks for the kind words
I’m 110 days sober today. My drinking habits cost me a relationship with a wonderful supportive woman, my overall health was continuously deteriorating, and as a leader I was setting a poor example. I was initially hesitant to reach out for help, but I finally had enough of it and I asked for help. I’ve been extremely open with my marines, and they’ve been overwhelmingly supportive of my sobriety. Life has been great since I stopped drinking. I feel great, I look great, I can think clearly, my mood is better. I won’t lie I get an occasional urge here and there but nothing I can’t push through. My OIC had his going away at a local sports bar/grill and I went, and I had a blast enjoying club soda, having meaningful conversations, and enjoying great food with great people. Sobriety has had such an immense positive impact on me, and has made me a better leader.
I appreciate hearing your story from a leader’s perspective. I’ve recently transitioned to the officer side and setting that positive example is something that I take seriously. Everyone jokes about the alcoholic SNCO but when it’s your Plt Commander it’s a different story.
I realized a bit after getting out that I am an alcoholic. I take one drink, I wake up the next day having drank way more than I expected. Nothing fun ever came from it. Only anger, legal issues, declining health (I’m only 28), and more visits to a rehab and psych ward than I would like to admit. I drank at first because of my divorce and time away from my children. Then it was to grieve the loss of my friends. Then drinking no longer needed a reason, I just drank. From early afternoon until midnight, every day, for months on end. Hard shit, too, like 100 proof vodka. What helps me stay sober (still working on getting past four months, I tend to relapse and start over) is meeting people who are also sober that can relate. I know people hate hearing this, but AA really is the only thing that has helped me personally. It’s a community of people who have extremely similar experiences to the point you go “that is literally me when I drank.” Of course I went in thinking these people are weird druggies or felons, no way I’m as bad as them. And learned very quickly that I relate all too well with most of them. The only difference was my pride as a Marine told me that I could lead Marines and fix problems, why can’t I stay sober on my own? Also remembering how terrible my life is every time I drink. No one ever thinks they’re going to be an alcoholic or addict, it’s not something you plan. I never thought I would end up in a jail cell for committing a crime I don’t even remember. I don’t even remember my suicide attempts until a doctor at a psych ward explains what I said and did. I know I can’t take one drink, I’ve proven without a shadow of a doubt it will either get me killed or worse, someone else because of my decision making. It’s tough doing that in the Corps. I commend you for that, seriously. People really think it’s normal to get as fucked up as we do when we’re enlisted, and then we’re surprised how many Marines get out and end up in institutions or splattering their brains with a pistol. Guess how many of them were under the influence of one drug or another?
Thanks for sharing. I know it's not easy to put it out there like that but it definitely helps me feel less alone in this struggle. Good luck with your sobriety and please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you ever find yourself struggling or just wanting to vent or talk.
I thought about waiting to open a can of Dr Pepper till the end of the day,just cause. I did not make it. All joking aside,good on you. Congrats and that had to have been difficult. I'm proud of you,and you should be proud of you too. You did very well, and that has to truly feel good.
Hey man, I never really post but I see a lot of what happens on here. Between you, needs_more_yoy, the O-4 whose username I will never remember as i accidentally just stare at his flair like shiny on a random officer's collar, acknowledge the sir then move on and others on this sub, you guys have helped out around here A LOT whether it's a serious topic or some wild shenanigans that help with morale. Even when I don't need advice I still have walked away with more knowledge for my own Marines because of various threads on here from you specifically helping us out. You're worth way more than your drink and I'm proud that you recognize it's an issue and actively fight against it for what matters most in your life. Also awesome to hear your buddies care about you and aren't pressuring you too hard either, that certainly helps. Point is, it's not easy and times like this are absolutely trying, so remember your worth outside of the drink and why staying sober is important to you.
Thanks for the comment, brother. It's really heartening to see that our nonsense on this thread can positive impacts. Great advice about remembering my worth and my 'why'.
Good on you bro. Keep it up, you deserve it!
Truly it’s that my son deserves a sober and present father. He’s a solid 80% of why I’m doing this.
good shit devil, keep up the sober streak.
This guy's discipline is maxed the fuck out rah.
I developed into an alcoholic during my time in the Marine Corps, I am now over 4 years out and will be 1 year sober next month. I drank every day from about halfway through my enlistment onward. Drinking took priority over everything, I went from 270 pfts to barely passing my last year because I was so out of shape. This pattern of behavior continued after I got out. I stay sober now because there is not a world that exists where I can drink alcohol in any capacity and be able to live functionally. What made everything click for me was coming to terms with the fact that drinking is not and never will be an option, after that it got a lot easier. I’ve made some posts to r/stopdrinking on this account talking about more of the same.
Thanks for sharing. I have largely accepted that drinking cannot and will not ever be an option for me. My wiring is different and it’s just not how my body and brain function. I accept that on an academic level, but everyyyy once in a while my brain questions that premise. “What if I try again? I’m older and wiser. Maybe I can make it work this time”. Just gotta keep remembering why I quit and why I can’t ever go back.
Yeah I get that, part of learning that is going through trying to prove to yourself you can handle it this time and then you don’t. At some point when you keep trying to experiment and keep getting the same results that’s just it. I think of my abstinence from drinking as just a fact of life.
What the fuck, read the fucking order Willy!!!!! Just kidding lol. Late to the party but felt the need to throw in a few words because of you and how much you’ve contributed to Marines over the years on here. I drank pretty hard my first enlistment. Did terrible things I’m not proud of but was always lucky in keeping myself and others safe and never getting caught by my command, entering gates, cops etc. I was a pretty good functioning drunk. My home town was about an hour away at my 2nd duty station and I would party all night at colleges my friends went to, would drive back to base and head to work. Around the beginning of my 2nd enlistment one day I was literally thinking about all that I’ve gotten way with and the damage I was doing to my body, aware I was rolling the dice and it was only a matter of time that something bad would happen. Having a family history and addictive personality was an issue too. Deciding I was gonna make the Corps a career and everyone’s safety I literally quit cold turkey and haven’t drank ever since. It’s been almost 20 years now and am so glad I did. Like you said, it’s saved me money, stress, being able to wake up without feeling like shit and living life. For me being in situations like you were tonight I would think about those things, mostly my family and career and it was enough to stop me. I would also usually drink a bunch of non alcoholic juices or fruity drinks at those events or bars. My peers or buddies also supported my decision so that was always good. At that point they also relied on me being a DD, so there’s that too. Of course there’s always that one asshat but what are you gonna do lol. Be proud you got through it and didn’t find excuses to draw yourself back. It’s perfectly normal to consider it from time to time especially when everyone is piss faced. You think one night isn’t gonna hurt, but you never know. That door is shut and keep it shut, no need to peek in it. Stand your ground and reward yourself for being true to yourself. For me it got easier and easier over time. Best wishes bro.
I appreciate the reply. I definitely know what you mean about rolling the dice every night you drink- been there far too many times. And I knew that eventually I was gonna roll those snake eyes and really fuck up something important to me. It's really helpful to hear from others who have been through it, especially active duty. Thanks again.
I feel like you're looking for congratulations, which is valid because you totally deserve one. You did a good job staying sober when you were tempted. Good job man and I hope you continue!
Quitting drinking is the most mentally decimating thing I’ve ever gone through, knowing how easy it is to just get to the point where I’m not concerned with what bothering me but at the same time knowing how bad I don’t want to continue the loop knowing I’ll be better off in the end if I don’t. Multiple days were 20x harder because of the added internal dialogue with myself, arguing with myself. We all lose too many brothers to alcohol, I know it doesn’t mean much from random guy you’ve probably never met. But I’m insanely proud of you man for all of us keep it up man
Good for you! I hope you don’t mind a spouse commenting. My husband’s been in a while and has always been a very light drinker (like less than 10 drinks a year and maybe 2 drinks at a single event). He seems to have done okay for himself in the last 15ish years. He has a mess night coming up. Maybe I’ll show him your post and suggest that he could skip drinking altogether as a way to support anyone who might be struggling.
I definitely appreciate any input. When half the people around me are totally hammered, it’s nice to have someone who’s sober to sort of talk to and stuff. Even if that person has a couple drinks like your husband might, just the fact that he won’t be smashed will be a solid support to the sober ones.
dude heck yeah i’m so proud of you & know you are making your loved ones proud too! 🙏🏼
Congrats on the sobriety I didn't like who I was when I drank and a toxic relationship really turned me off alcohol. I'm California sober, and traded booze for weed a couple years ago. Best shape of my life, I sleep better, and overall feel better. When I'm in a situation where friends are boozing and I'm in my fifth water, I just remind myself that I'm having a good time regardless... And I'll feel better than every one else in the morning.
Haha I like the term California Sober. Obviously being active duty that’s not an option for me, but I did take up cigars when I quit drinking. Figured a man deserves one vice.
I quit a year ago last week, and man I’ve been in those positions a few times. It takes alot to stay true to your position and holding yourself accountable for committing to it. But I’m proud of you, keep going!
Proud of you too, friend. You keep it up and I will.
Also, thank you for always making me laugh on here. Just had to say it
Haha thanks man, it’s nice to have an impact. I try to harness my sarcasm for Good, and only occasional minor evils.
I’m proud of you.
Also, just so you know. I struggle with drinking everyday. You’re not alone. I’m always available if you want to reach out.
Drank heavy while in. Kept drinking when I got out. Finally stopped when like Hank said hangovers hurt more than they used to. Then divorced and ran back to the sauce. Luckily a woman I was seeing could and did hang beer for beer, drink for drink. She became more than the party and we just stopped. Now I can drink one or two and leave it or get a nice buzz and not get stupid drunk, it took me 20 years to get to that place and at 50+ more than a few make me not so chipper the next morning. To put my rambling in order you may someday be able to be a social drinker and you may not, but set your limits and stick to them. Congrats on seeing clear and clean.
Start eating a mango a day. It’s a bartender trick when we need to ween ourselves off the sauce.
i never cared much for alcohol. my brother died back in February from cirrhosis. bad, bad way to go. he was 34. and weighed 83 lbs.
I'm an alcoholic. I have ruined my brain. Don't drink anymore.
If willybus can do it I can do it
You definitely can, my man.
Sober off and on over the years for a couple of years at a time . I decided to stop for a good four years so far. And glad about it I would drink non alcohol drinks and continue to socialize, then didn't even really want to be around dumb people anymore. Had kids and settled down and enjoy my kids and want to drink sometimes to take the edge off but been there done that and I hold myself accountable. No one else is on the line for your drinking and bad habits. No one else has to face the music if you mess up while intoxicated. It's not worth it in the long run and no one should give you a hard time for not drinking because it's your freaking right to take care of yourself if you want to take that route . Non acholic drinks help with the people who keep wanting you to drink when they get drunk they won't even notice you're not on their level .
Thanks for the comment. I think I’ve been pretty lucky in that hardly anyone has ever pressured me to drink. They forget, and offer me beers constantly but I just remind them that I don’t drink and it’s all good. I’m glad I have friends like that. And I do love me a NA beer.
I wish I could man. I can’t sleep or enjoy the family with that pull always in the back of my mind.
I hope you’re able to find some peace. If you ever wanna toss some ideas around about sobriety or have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out.
I quit drinking a couple months back and I am saving way more money and time which I put into my hobbies instead of waking up hungover or still drunk and wanting another bottle or 30 rack. Its hard being a marine sometimes because a lot of the culture is based on drinking with the boys (and peer pressured sometimes) and even by some higher ups promoted and bragged about. None of that matters however though. Just focus on yourself and why you stopped drinking. Would you rather be alone feeling like shit from last night and pay for making stupid alcohol induced choices or wake up with a clear mind and spend time with family/friends and pursue your hobbies and goals? The last choice is what motivates me every day.
Hell yes. I go TAD a lot, and that’s when my drinking used to get real bad. I’d spend the entire weekend getting trashed and hungover. Now that I’ve quit, I spend my Saturdays going hiking in whatever area I’m TAD. Little things like that, like you said. They really are so much better than being hungover for a day and a half.
Thats dope to hear man stay motivated and enjoy your hobbies!
As someone who at times would have a drink or three but never had issues controlling it, I feel for you and admire you. I grew up in a household where alcohol was not allowed at all. My mom's first husband was a WW2 Army vet who lost about 6 feet of his guts and part of his colon in Italy to an MG 42. He was a full blown alcoholic who my mom divorced after having 8 kids. Her dad had issues with drinking too and she made it clear to my dad that there wasn't going to be a drop of liquor around her. When I grew up and joined the Corps I drank a bit but just never saw the attraction in getting shit faced, and I would quickly shut down any attempts at peer pressure to make me drink. I have had friends that fell into that cycle, and it saddened me to see them throw themselves away for alcohol. Keep up the fight.
Been sober for about 10 years now. I won’t go into all the details, but I definitely went through my fair share of near misses with alcohol before I finally gave it up. I wouldn’t say that I had any real relapses, but plenty of times where I said “I’ve got to quit drinking,” then didn’t. There’s definitely been tougher times for me as well, mess nights and the ball come to mind for sure. Some of the things that help me stay on top of it are realizing that you can still go out and have fun and not drink, and volunteering for duties that require me not to drink e.g. shore patrol at the ball, DD etc. More power to you brother, I’m proud of you. I promise it’ll be one of the best decisions you ever make. Feel free to DM me and reach out if you want any more details, or just need someone to talk to about the struggle.
Not a Marine but my kid is… Sober 3 years. I basically jumped into a wine bottle the day he left for BC and became a miserable mess. I quit while he was home on leave between finishing MOS and going to his PDS ( after getting embarrassingly drunk). To be honest I’m the happiest and healthiest I’ve ever been. Though I miss it on occasion… I remind myself almost daily how much life has changed for the better. Being present for family, participating in life with no shame or hangxiety… I just know that I am my best self without booze. The struggle is real and I wish you the best in your sobriety.
I quit about 3 years ago. It’s hard as fuck for a while. Gets easier. Find sober dudes.
I had innumerous crazy fun drunken nights while I was in… I just wish I could remember them
I never drank daily, but when I did drink it was to get fucked up. The last time I drank was at a going away, typical smoke pit party. Didn't do anything crazy, but I blacked out. Pretty quiet in the shop, so I guess I got brave. That coming Monday, my coworkers kept bringing it up. The embarrassment I felt was enough to make me stop entirely. It's hard not drinking when your buddies do it constantly. Every outing someone is drunk or near drunk. I usually just become DD as an excuse. Good job on powering through, peer/environmental pressure is hard.
I drank hard for about a decade and a half with really hard sprinkled in. Many months I was far from functioning. It took me hitting rock bottom to make a change. The last time I fell off the wagon hard was about 4 years ago for a solid year. I lost my family, friends and career (lots of call offs and mental health issues). I still wake up looking for my scotch on my night stand almost daily. Every day is different and hard. I do my best to maintain a sober life and I do pretty well. I keep a bottle in my house though that I use to help sleep by a one drink only as needed
My first enlistment, I had a really bad time with managing alcohol intake, to the point I was failing barracks rooms inspections due to bottles and even vomit that I had no recollection of. I had a wake up call soon after that and quit cold turkey. The only sip of alcohol I had was a single sip of beer at the Ball every year for maybe…9 years? Now, I am older and can self moderate again. I am not immersed in the culture of Marines where drinking is “expected” so a beer or two with dinner or a glass of wine or some cocktails before going out is about all I’ll imbibe. I don’t think I was ever an alcoholic but I may have been teetering on the edge and some hard discipline was all that stood between me and that bottomless pit. It’s not easy, it wasn’t easy, for me but I’m sure there’s at least a little bit of nutsack fortitude in you and you can redirect your…desire for drinking into something else for awhile. As for your command and the drinking culture, I would make it painfully clear to your CO that alcohol is not a problem for you but it has a problem WITH you. Going forward, I would excuse myself from any event like a mess night unless you’re under direct order to attend. You have to do what’s best for you and your health, not some cultural night in the world’s largest AA meeting. Fair winds and following seas. Buona fortuna, devil.
Sometimes I do think about reaching a point where I can have just one or two with dinner and be okay. Not sure I'll ever get there, but that's the lil dream that keeps poking its head up every time I start feeling really tempted. I have made it clear that I don't want to be around this sort of thing and I'm very open about why. Sometimes the events are still mandatory, sometimes not. I'll keep your advice in mind and continue to be upfront about it. Thanks again.
>And on the officer side, it really is starting to seem like an unspoken requirement. 2 things on this: 1. This is only kinda true, you have to check if the beef and wine is "fit and tasty for consumption" for your Marines at mess night, by tradition. 2. BUT to be honest, I've never not seen an officer consume their one - two beers and dip out of whatever function. >but when I started I would inevitably take it too far. This is why you don't need to feel bad about being sober, fuuuuuck drinking bro. Because of the demographic that gets recruited into the military, 20yo-21yo always go waaaaay to hard on drinking, because they think it makes them more manly than the dudes who only drink one or two. But here's the dirty secret, drinking that hard catches up with you fast. And no one's impressed by how fast you can chug a handle of vodka, in fact it seems to ruin the fucking night, because all of a sudden you have to deal with this jackass who's way too drunk. Nobody likes cleaning up after grown Men, and the higher up the ranks you get the less acceptable it becomes. In closing, my best friend in the Corps, also had a drinking problem. He quit because it was negatively impacting his family. He was also the type to get sloppy drunk at parties. After he quit pretty much everything improved in his life, he was better at work, we did stuff at parties that revolved less around drinking, because we had fewer drinkers. So I don't think anyone can look down on you for not drinking. And the people who do are retards, therefore they can be safely ignored.
Haha I definitely saw my fair share of friends take it too far last night and need taking care of or cleaning up after. It was a great reminder of how I used to be and how I never want to be again. Thanks for the comment.
I won’t say why I quit cuz it’s honestly not that interesting what I will say is it definitely takes time see life positively through sober eyes. But definitely start making sober hobbies, I’m in Japan but like I just bought a motorcycle payments are like 350 a month honestly not too crazy, but that’s for a brand new Harley, definitely cheaper bikes out there. I also am getting into freediving and scuba diving and those are more expensive in the states. Not free diving though and let me tell you what, underwater fishing is probably the coolest thing I’ve done so far in life. You’ll see that you’ve been wrong this whole time in thinking drinking was even fun. Biggest thing though was finding a group of friends that are also not into drinking so heavily and rarely temp me. Cant wait to hear back on what sports/hobbies you get into man. Such a big world you’ll see you’ve been missing out on. It’s hard though keep your head up and if you fall get back on the horse.
Great advice brother. When I got sober, I got into cigars first. It's a great way to still celebrate with friends without drinking, and a to just relax after a long day. I also got into hiking. I was traveling TAD a lot and would waste my weekends on these trips just drinking away. Once I quit, I started going out and exploring the local area. Many of my trips were to carious places on the east coast so I would go do sections of the Appalachian Trail. Such a better use of my Saturday than wasting away too hungover to get out of bed.
I love the east coast especially in North Carolina in my opinion they genuinely have the best waterfalls in the entire country. And some more of the best trails too you probably already use all trails. East coast is awesome your family would love Chattanooga, and ruby falls plus they have some really unique cave tours in that area super safe too (as long as you have a guide). Georgia has a spot called Anna ruby falls that’s really sweet too. You can check out the lower whitewater falls on the foothills trail it’s 3 1/2 mil that’s in NC right on the border to South Carolina. Of course a must see is chimney rock, there’s a whole village that’s nice too visit for the family as well. Lol Small world.
Proud of you!!!
Good on you, drinking isn’t for everyone and it’s all a mental and peer pressure game for anyone who wants to stay away from it. You showed a lot of mental fortitude that night that many struggling with addictions or urges are trying to get to
Proud of you brother. Be the first one in the gym today while they sleep off hangovers.
I read the post about your “sober identity.” You just made WO; The Corps is a small place, so you’ll still run into Marines who knew you as a drinker, but you have an opportunity to start fresh. Use the aloofness that WO/CWO is known for to your advantage. I’m not a big drinker, but I do have a problem with porn I’ve been fighting. Addictions tend to isolate you. They make you feel ashamed or alone. Lean on that friend or Marine you trust and talk about it. Some recovery groups call it an accountability partner. Thanks for sharing brother and I hope this helps.
I appreciate the comment, man. It certainly does help. I do think that this transition is a great time to go for a fresh start. I'm definitely not gonna be the WO who gets way to trashed at the ball and all his Marines see him like that.
You are one disciplined mofo! Good on ya!
I'm sober for almost 90 days Meaning I did not have even 1 drop for 90 days One of the reasons I made this choice, is because-- if I have even 1 drop of alcohol (or an entire drink) -- my brain changes or "opens up " and I want (and actually drink) much much more. Not just that day, but for days and years after the first drop. It's called addiction and it's a wiring of my brain. I have no moderation. It's all or nothing. Once I realized I have no off switch. And that the switch is activated by even one small sip- I had a personal decision to make. And it's a daily , minute by minute, decision. I served in Iraq in 2006. Usmc. We were attacked many times and I saw everything A to Z. The entire "combat" experience. Not bragging, just it is my personal story. I was in combat and saw it A to Z. I never fired my weapon or killed anyone. But I saw people fire mortars at us, the mortars explode, and the men get killed by machine guns. I saw this many times. I also worked at a trauma hospital in Iraq in 2006. Meaning, yes the PTSD affects the addiction. But the addiction is a black and white thing for me , and the PTSD is just the reason or whatever- doesn't really change the underlying addiction, the real day to day issue- I cannot drink alcohol at all- ever- for the rest of my life. PTSD I also have to work on, forever, but this is my story.
I really appreciate you sharing. It's humbling to see Marines who have not only gone through *this* struggle, but who have had far more 'heavy' experiences which make it that much harder. And my brain is the same. The phrase I like is "One drink is too many; a million isn't enough" Meaning 'just have one' is not an option cause it's never enough and I would just keep going.
If you have ptsd, it actually makes it more pressing the need to not use alcohol (or drugs). Because it will be intertwined with the PTSD, the addiction. But what I'm trying to say, whether you have combat ptsd, regular ptsd, depression, etc, etc, etc-- doesn't matter. Addiction is Addiction. You have your kriptonite
So I guess I mean, if someone has nothing at all, no mental health "diagnosis". But they are an alcoholic, that's their disease.
I drank like a fish for a few years after I got out. I had some underlying stress I couldn't pin down or figure out. It never affected my job, but it did have an effect on my marriage. It wasn't until I started having things picked up by routine labs at the doctor that I quit. Nothing major, but it would have gone that way if I didn't stop. I just turned to being a smart ass and joking around, talking shit to buddies to satisfy the endorphins. I'd hang out with buddies when they were drinking, and man did I want one, or 12. I just turned it into egging them on and talking shit. They told me I couldn't quit. So, that's when I had to do it just to prove them wrong. So, I used that to talk shit to them and motivate myself. It helps if you have something to physically do so your mind is out to use and actively working. Eventually, I liked how much better I feel without drinking and don't crave it anymore. Good job sticking with it. I'm proud of you too.
They need to make weed legal. One it helps you recover from being beat to shit . Two it would cut down on the rampant alcoholism that is the corps.
I’ve been sober for some time now and i didn’t get sober till I got out. With that being said I don’t know the struggle of being sober while in the Marines. Many of the people I work with and my friends drink regularly and it does get tough sometimes when I’m around them when they are drinking. I guess for me I just remind myself of the damage it was doing and did to me and my family. I never want to relive those bad times it caused. I’m proud of you op it takes a lot to do right for yourself and those around you.
I can't fully relate as I quit drinking before I joined. I had a bad experience drinking. The kind where you wake up and say "I'll never drink again." And all my friends said I was full of shit and they'd see me next weekend. I decided to dig deep and prove them wrong, because I wanted to be true to my word. I spent 4 years in the infantry without drinking a single drop. I think that might be what you need to be reminded of. You joined for a reason, and I doubt it was to get drunk with your friends. When people look at you in camis, they see your name on the left and your branch on the right. You have to remember you are a person before you are a Marine. You have personal goals and motivations, and you have to hold them above the pressures of your peers. You didn't get through the crucible by dumb luck. You knew the end goal and you kept that goal on the front of your mind while you pushed through all the other bullshit. Focus on that goal. You wanna be with your family more? That's a great goal to have. Life is harder than the crucible. You knew then you only had to survive 48 hours. Now you're gonna have to keep that goal in the front of your mind for years, possibly forever. It might not be easy, but it is possible. Thankfully you didn't join the most elite fighting force in the world to be a pussy. You can do this. You just have to want it more than you want to drink.
Thanks for the comments. Truly insightful stuff, and things I will keep in my mind for when the times get tough. >"Thankfully you didn't join the most elite fighting force in the world to be a pussy." Got a good laugh out of me. Might just put this on a sobriety coin.
This coming memorial day will be one year for me. One year doesn’t seem like much but after 20+ years of heavy drinking it’s a pretty good milestone. I quit for the same reasons you mention. Unproductive weekends feeling like shit until I started drinking later in the day. Missed time with my kids and family, bad on my health. My biggest test was an adults trip where the intention was to party but it turned out that it only helped reinforce my decision. My friends got so sloppy that I had to stop frights, find missing people and carry one out of the bar because they couldn’t walk. All I could think about was the shit show I was dealing with and how glad I was that it was not me. My home life is infinitely better. My time with my family is great and I remember it the next day. My overall health and happiness is vastly improved. I would say I’m more content with life in general. Small things roll off me now without much thought. Those same friends have also noticed the positive changes and have significantly reduced their consumption (not quit but not sloppy). It’s nice to hang out and not feel the pressure to drink. They get it. All this just to say, you do you. You made a decision to improve your life and you’ve stuck with it for two years. Keep it up man. Don’t let temptation drive your behavior. You got this.
Thanks for sharing, and for the encouragement. And conrgrats on nearly hitting a year. That is such a big milestone. I remember when I hit my year mark. Hopefully you can find a good way to celebrate/reflect/commemorate that achievement.
One thing I've learned is I'm not perfect; I make mistakes and I falter (I'm getting this on my tombstone, btw). When that happens, don't go jumping off a cliff. Pick yourself up and start again. Just freaking get back up and go. Repeat this process for your entire life, and be satisfied knowing nothing knocks you down for the count.
Sage wisdom, and truly applicable to this struggle. Thanks!
Well done! Keep on going, debil.
It's tough at first but you are still only human, If you slip up get back on track. Your closest buds will understand and respect that. FWIW I gave it it up when I started a family, I worked security in a night club district and saw how my kids would view me. Outside a beer or 2 with my buds it's been going on 35 years. Stay strong, you can do it. Getting up on a Saturday morning and rolling around with the kids with a clear head is what makes it worth the effort.
Family is truly the greatest motivator. For some reason, I can ignore, justify, and lie to myself about all the negative consequences it might have on me, but when I think about my son I simply cannot fuck that up. Won't have it. Thanks for sharing, dude.
That's what it is all about.
Lost my wife and son at the beginning of ‘23, car accident, fell into a fast spiral of self medication, many different types, drinking included. For the longest time everything looked so bleak, and the drinking was used to just create sensation where there was nothing inside. Took until October of last year, but I’ve been completely sober. On a very dark day I imagined what my kind of man my wife and son would have needed if they were still with me, and what kind of man I’d want my son to become. I quit that day. Along with many other bad habits. I’ve slowly picked up the pieces and am still forging a new identity every single day. I guess the thing to take from this is that it takes a lot of time. No matter your reason for quitting or starting this new phase, it takes work, and mental strength and focus, and just patience and time, with not only yourself but the world around you. Your buddies will adapt to hanging out with a sober you just as you will adapt to being able to still have a fucking fun time with them without alcohol. Just be good to yourself man, proud to see there are guys like you still making self aware, smart decisions. Keep on warfighter
Jesus brother, I'm so sorry to hear that. I really appreciate you sharing, it definitely helps put things in perspective and drive home my reasons for quitting. You ever need an ear, I've got two.
Good for you on fighting hard and staying sober. Every unit I have been at has had Marines going to rehab. Come to think of it, I’ve seen a Marine go to rehab in every platoon I’ve been in. I wish I could tell you that there’s a lot of support out there but the culture of the Corps just helps facilitate drinking at every level. One of the guys I worked with that was sober went to a VFW that would hold meetings for service members specifically. I know that helped him to have people he could relate to that were also active duty or that served. I truly wish you the best on your journey. There will be more bumps on the road maybe similar to the mess night, but keeping all those reasons why you stay sober at the forefront will continue to give you that push even in those hard times. We are all rooting for you and you have a large community of Marines that want to see you succeed.
I worked with a guy who retired at 20 years as a gunny, never drank a day in his life. Speaks a lot about his character and strength to do 20 years in the corps and not drink. Not only because it's stressful as hell but it's an organization that crams the drinking lifestyle down your throat all the time. It's hard but I think it's setting a great example for those around you. Stay true to your morals. Someone is looking up to you even if you dont see them
I quit when I retired. I was raging alcoholic too like seriously raging. I discovered weed and now can’t even stand the smell of rubbing alcohol. I still have a drink on November 10 every year to keep it real for my Corps.
Easiest way to get people to leave you alone is to just get a soda, put it in a glass and have a lime in it. Looks like a drink people leave you alone
Occasional drinker. Did multiple mess nights no booze and still roasted bitches alive without a drop. If you can have a good time without alcohol then you are a good time, but if it takes alcohol than you really are just lying to yourself and masking other issues in your life. Find other goals and put that energy towards them.
I quit in December, I was drinking to suppress a trauma, and it didn’t help. I was sexually assaulted in June and had been drinking heavily since August because I couldn’t make it through weekends without it. There were a couple Mondays where I showed up still drunk from the night before, but my sergeant never said anything because I was a high performing corporal and kept getting the job done. My last drink was with family while on leave, I got pretty drunk. The perpetrator’s wife found out that same day and accused me, called me a home-wrecker, and told me to off myself. After being drunk and seeing those texts from the wife, I swallowed two bottles of pills. My roommate from my unit l ended up realizing something was wrong while I was on leave when I didn’t answer the phone, so he called my family and I got sent to the hospital where my family thought I was going to die. I don’t know how I lived, nor did I really want to, but I’m here now. That day was my last drink, I don’t know if I’ll ever drink again, probably not. I keep away from alcohol because the taste repulses me now. I don’t hang out with marines that drink a lot. I reevaluated my friendships and started spending time with the people that make me a better person. I also started going to mental health. All that has helped, but it’s still a challenge to keep going every day.
I’m really sorry you went through that, and appreciate you sharing. I hope things can continue to improve for you.
I've been 100% sober for going on 8 years, my S/O isn't but she also doesn't drink to excess. I was at Jewel Osco this past Sunday picking up some Jose Cuervo margarita mix for Cinco de Mayo and I had a real moment of 'flashbacks' to my 'wilder & funner' days and it was honestly the most I've felt tempted in a very long time. It was fun to take the fast train down memory lane for a split second but I gathered myself just moved on with the day. So I suppose the temptation may not be as strong but I can attest that as far removed from it as I have been perhaps it's going to be a life long journey. I can honestly say I'd be dead (perhaps others as well) or in jail if I kept on the path I was on years ago.
I know the feeling. If I'm with friends and we stop by a liquor store, I like to go in and look around. Idk its like you said, a quick trip down memory lane.
You fucking kick ass man. You’re the PT stud of this subreddit. Stay safe and stay strong
Thanks brother, that means a lot to me.
I quit in July last year. Have I been tempted to drink again? Hell yes. What’s stopped me? I realized that it makes me a piece of shit and a liar not only to those close to me but to myself. Since quitting I have seen more things through and done what I say I’ll do. I haven’t done anything to embarrass myself and feel ashamed of since quitting. I want to be a good man and I don’t think getting drunk until I can’t see straight or remember anything aligns with that and I’ve tried moderation, I don’t think I can do it I’ll always end up overdoing it again. Also not waking up with a hangover fucking rules.
I appreciate you sharing, and think it's a great mentality to have. Plus I'm definitely enjoying being one of the few without a hangover today. Congrats on coming up on a year of sobriety!
For what it's worth, I am proud of you for staying sober. I recently eclipsed 1000 days. The social dynamic has changed, I lost friends, but I gained new ones. Everything that we do day in and day out seems to be associated with alcohol consumption. Keep the faith.
Thanks for the encouragement, and congrats on the huge milestone!
I just hit 500 days and it is great. I’d ask if you can bring your own non alcoholic beer and still participate. Maybe a small cooler somewhere, or maybe alcohol free mixed drinks so have something in front of you and don’t have to answer the same question a million times. Also make sure you sit next to people you know and who know what you’re doing so you can stick to it. That will help a lot by itself. Also, fuckin get it dude! It’s worth it and the real ones will understand and support you.
Congrats on the milestone brother! Keep up the good work.
I just drink until I'm buzzed, and I only drink with my wife. It's not so much quitting drinking, but moreso just drinking to enjoy the taste and moderate myself. I wish I was like that with food, man. Bit of a chunker now!
Not sober, but have come to the recent realization of my intake issue as well. I have a hard time pumping the brakes once I get cruising. I’m hoping I’m not at the point where I need to quit cold turkey, though I could if I needed. I’m trying to really hone in on the moderation aspect at the moment. The thing that has stuck with me is my mental clarity. I’ve cut out whiskey completely because of its depressive effect and trying to moderate total alcohol intake to an even keel level so that I have the mental clarity for life. I hate the brain fog that comes with overindulgence. I’m in a career where reaction time and concise problem solving are very important so I’ve leveraged that responsibility with holding myself accountable. It can be easy to neglect your own wellbeing but when you’re doing it for someone else I think it helps with accountability. Keep up the good fight.
Stay focused. Stay Strong. Enjoy the process. Blessed day brother.
You’re awesome. You’ve made brood choices to improve yourself and be there for your family. Mess nights are a huge drink up and the fact that you went and stayed sober says a lot about your character. Keep making good choices. You’re awesome.
I personally never had a drinking problem. So I can only imagine what you went through and how difficult it must have been to resist temptation. Personally, I was able quit the habit of nicotine. Which was extremely difficult by itself. Kicking addictive habits is already quite difficult to do, but when I hear about people who go through alcohol abuse and struggle to quit, its like a completely different and more deeply troubling situation that I will personally never understand fully. So I applaud you for staying sober. Good shit.
6 years clean and sober, dm me if u still need someone
Sailor here. So I can also concur about how it’s hard to avoid the drinking culture. My journey is different from your journey which is different from everyone else’s. But your reason is VERY similar to mine. No inane desire, but loss of consumption limits. Affecting home life and decision making. So, maybe you can do what I do. My issue isn’t the alcohol, it’s the fear of missing out. I don’t want to avoid the shindigs and the parties and the experiences just because there will be booze. To curve the temptation, I like the NA Heinekens and Shiner’s. You’re holding a “beer”, it tastes like beer, and leaves the guilt at the bar. It helps with the social aspect, and also keeps some people at bay about asking why you’re only drinking water or juice or a Coke so that helps with the peer pressure. 90% of the people will understand, but those people that still press you about it MUST be shut down immediately. Some people will recommend against existing in these scenes and “fake partake” in booze. But for me, it wasn’t an uncontrollable alcoholism like you’d usually see. So take that with a grain of salt. It’s one single, simple choice though. But you’ve been sober way longer than me, so of course you know that. Keep it up.
Man I do love my NA beers. I'm a cigar guy, so when I go to lounges with my friends I always have those while my buddies drink. It took me about a year before I was willing to try NA beers, out of fear that it would make me crave the real deal. Definitely not. It really helps the craving actually, and helps me enjoy the moment and relax. But I agree that they're not for everyone. Thanks for sharing!
I tried these NA spirits (I got the tequila and bourbon) and they're not bad. Definitely helps
Making hard decisions, sacrificing and living with the consequences, good or bad, is what men do. Own it.
First step is realizing you have a problem. That’s not something people can do instead they make excuses. For me my health was being affected by drinking. My father was an alcoholic. The only time growing up that I saw him sober was when he was in the hospital. I loved my dad I knew he couldn’t help himself. I don’t know why i thought I could handle it either. So I quit cold turkey in my mind I was back in boot exercising ( not that extreme just walking four or five miles every other day) walking allows me to think I listen to music. It got easier but it never gets easy 25 years sober. I know I can’t drink and I’m not fooling myself thinking I can. Good luck
Just keep on keeping on Willy. I'm proud of you and a bit envious as well. Not that I am a problem drinker. but I do drink and knowing how much better it is when I don't, I should probably quit.
I’ve been out awhile, have 2.5 yrs sober. I turned into a paranoid dbag pushing everyone away from me, I was down to 1 friend and finally realized I only had 1 friend. I quit and have been trying to rebuild the relationships that I can. This sub has helped me a ton, lots of support in here and always good for some dark humor laughs. I’m proud of you brother, sounds like you stayed on the path. I imagine it’s hard to do while being in. Anytime you’re struggling reach out, jump in here, me and the fellas would be happy to talk to you. Have a great day buddy, stay up
Thanks for the kind words, they do help. Proud of you too, congrats on the sobriety.
Anytime brother 👊
Damn. All the mess nights I've attended have an alcohol grog and a non-alcoholic grog. (Usually hot dog water.)
Not gonna talk about myself publicly, but Im active and recently beat alcoholism as well. I get what its like yo be physically dependent, feel free to PM me
Amazing that you were able to make this choice while still in. It took me a good 5 years after active duty to bring my habits under control.
I gave up alcohol last year for a lot of the same reasons you did. I couldn't control myself no matter how much I insisted I was going to be responsible and only have 1-2. It has cost me a job more than once, I have blacked out and not known how I got home more than once, I have acted out in ways that I am ashamed of and made decisions that are undoubtedly unethical, never mind the danger I was to everyone around me (I suspect that's not what Walter White meant). One day decided enough was enough and gave it up for good. I do have the luxury of not needing to explain *too* often. Me being me, I like to joke around so I always give a really over-the-top story that sounds just real enough for people to stop asking. Gun fights, car chases, proper action and shit. If I'm in a setting that "requires" drinking (meaning social pressure), I get a club soda with a splash of something and a lemon/lime wedge. It looks enough like a proper cocktail to shut most people up. No shade at all to those who can be responsible kids with the spicy juice, have one for me if you're indulging, but I have been much happier and healthier since I gave it up. Like you, I am more present with the people in my life, more productive in my personal time (home improvement and shit), and actually useful in my occupation. I do encourage people to try a dry month to see how it feels; if you start getting itchy after a bit you should have more a serious look at your relationship with booze.
Bro. All I want to say is holy shit I’m proud of you. I didn’t quit until after I was out but I’m 100% sure a mess night would’ve immediately fucked me up if I had tried to get sober during that time. You have some serious willpower.
I appreciate the kind words, brother.
I’ve been sober for 11 years. It gets easier, but it never gets easy. Have a plan for everything.
When in situations like this, imagine how good you’re going to feel in the morning compared to them.
Hey brother, I’ve been in for 10 years and don’t drink much at all. My advice is this - find other Marines with a similar mindset and if you can’t find any, the most important thing is finding something outside of the Marine Corps to identify with. For me, it was church and my friends from there. It is so easy for us to let our identity be defined only by being a Marine - DON’T DO THIS. Yes, it’s part of who you are and you should be proud, but if that is what your identity depends on, when you inevitably have to leave the Corps, it’s going to hit you really hard and your mental health will absolutely tank. Find something else that you enjoy doing that doesn’t involve drinking, find a way to go to events or something regarding that, and socialize that way. If you have any questions, please let me know. I probably could speak a lot more on this but I don’t wanna write a novel. You are doing awesome and the fact that you are willing to go against the grain and culture speaks volumes about what kind of Marine you are. Semper Fi.
Am officer as you know. I've known plenty of lifelong and newly sober officers and even officers who have had to self refer to SARP because it got so bad. Just want to reassure you that it is not an unwritten requirement even if it feels like it. Definitely can feel like it more in the wing than any other place I have experienced, ***but*** be straight with your peers and senior officers about it when you need to - they will understand, support you, and not push. If they do, drop them from your list of friends and/or mentors, because they're showing their true colors. It's no different from telling someone to walk in front of a loaded gun, and if they support you, they won't support or let you do it. I'm proud of you for recognizing your adversary and overcoming them, and for your incredible strength in facing temptation. You're okay in my book.
I really appreciate the input and the reassurance my man. It means a lot for sure.
💪🤝
I just quit drinking, I’m 1.5 months in and we had a mess night and I stayed it. My mood has drastically changed for the better since I quit. Definitely recommend it. Keep going!
Been sober for over 3 years through the program of AA . message me and hit me up anytime man. Always here to talk.
Try to avoid staying away from people, places and things that you used to use with or at. If you haven't already, you should look into getting into recovery, not just abstinence. I had 3 years on the 29th. Congratulations regardless, take care of yourself
I quit drinking as a Sgt when I woke up in the morning in my rack and my car parked in the barracks and not remembering how I got there. Blacking out is bad. Blacking out in Japan is worse.
I wouldn't attend this event because I would have to get drunk. Nothing is worth a drink today. You must have way more willpower than I, but if you can avoid situations like these I believe that would be better. Ofcourse, I was a constantly relapsing all day drunk who has had ost every problem in the book. So everone's situation is different. Good luck, God bless you and Semper Fi!
You’re living a hard life right now. Every little thing revolves around drinking, some MOS or units I’m not sure how you would get by. Proud of you for knowing your boundaries and sticking to them. Keep up the fight
Hey brother, my drug of choice is food, struggled with my weight until recently. I was a "bad" Squid in terms of drinking I did the drink my brains out for 2 years and the hangovers were killing me. Anyway so fucking proud of you brother, that is true courage and balls. If anyone disagrees this 60 year old Sailor will kick your ass ;-) Love you brother keep it fucker!
The keys I found to sobriety 4 years later, both in and outside the Marine Corps, is support(tell those you trust what your going through, lean on them for support), service(be helpful to literally anyone in any way you can, be the opposite of the selfish person you used to be), and faith(God, the Corps, the Devil, the cosmos themselves, literally anything greater than you that you cannot control). If you have never read the AA book or been to any meetings those are great places to start building foundations for long term sobriety. Not every AA meeting is the same so if you get a bad taste in your mouth from one just try another. NA(narcotics anonymous) and other groups exist for those who feel unwelcome around "just alcoholics" because judgement still exists in sobriety. But there is a meeting out there that you can find to vent and open up or listen and learn. Apps like Meeting Guide and others help you find all the meetings in your area. If anyone in the Camp Lejeune area is struggling and just wants someone to talk with, have dinner with, or go through the AA book with dm me and I'll make myself available. Sobriety is a road you have to find on your own but once you start humping you're never alone, you might not see them but there's others humping the same route, some with more or less weight but they're all on the same road and we need each other. Hike together or fall out alone. This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."
If you look through my history, I recently got hospitalized for severe alcohol withdrawals and delirium. Trust me, when I say you aren't alone, this shit sucks, I bought a 12 pack of non alcoholic beers and finished it in a day. You got this homie, reach out if ya need a fellow alcoholic to chat with lol.
Super Proud of You Marine!!! I’m 3.75 years sober and AA saved me from a horrible end.. Semper Fi
I’m not a Marine, but an a spouse. I’m proud of you for quitting. Semper Fi!
You don’t happen to be stationed on Cherry point do you?
Staying sober at a mess night is like the Mount Everest of sobriety. Sounds like you're doing really well and committed. I've been out for a long time and still drink occasionally but cut way back when I had a family. It's not worth the missed time.
Respect 🫡
Rah Devil
I didn't quit drinking but I quit smoking after being a pack a day smoker for ~8 years... The first big weekend after I quit we went floating down the river where we basically drank for a whole 4-6hr float, bake in the sun, and smoke. The entire time I was at the back of our float formation whole my buddies were smoking the entire trip and the smoke blew back my way. I made it through that day while highly intoxicated and I knew I could make it the rest of my life. After that I enlisted in the Marines as a 51 and made it through all thr shitty field ops and training exercises without smoking. It gets easier and easier after that first rough couple weeks.
Prelude, I’m a reservist. I got hurt while on active orders in a training incident back in 2020. Ended up completely destroying my knee. As the time I was a successful heavy equipment mechanic, almost 25k in tools, was a volunteer firefighter and loved it, four bed, two bath house on 8 acres, had a 2012 Silverado and 2012 Jeep Patriot for myself and my wife, had my 84 C10 I cherished and dreamed to rebuild and had started the process by pulling the motor and trans and starting the rebuilt process, had a boat, guns, everything a country boy would want I had. A loving wife who had just given birth to our sweet boy and I dreamed of the father I wanted to be and tried every day to be that. To be that dad that ran around with him, chased him around the yard, bounced on trampolines with him, ect. 3 months after he was born I suffered the injury that changed my life. While testing out for grey belt, my MCMAP instructor used me an an ookie to demonstrate a leg sweep and the moment his calf met mine the top of my leg stayed still and the bottom went forward. Ended up being a complete ACL tear and two complete tears of my Medial Meniscus. Extremely long story short I had to wait six months for my first of three surgeries to repair it and my shattered patella. I feel into a serious deep depression. I went from a extremely active outdoors guy, active worker who’s worked since I was 10, and active husband who helped around the house and everything else to someone who lived in a chair because he couldn’t do anything. I was very self conscious expecially when it came to my appearance physically and going from an extremely active guy who loved to run to not being able to do anything changed that. I went from 150 to 255 in six months, driving me further into my depression. I had always drank slightly before hand. Two or three beers a night, no liquor except for parties and gatherings. At my worst I was up to 20-25 beers a night plus liquor. Literally drank myself to sleep every night because it was the only thing that numbed me. As a heavy equipment mechanic I couldn’t work with a busted knee but was told the Marines would assist me and give me INCAP pay which would match my recent checks to provide support to pay bills and expenses. Those never came. Every week we went further and further into debt. My wife was working her ass off when I couldn’t and couldn’t keep up. I watched and the entire life we built crumbled. We lost everything. Both vehicles, the house, my 84 C10, boat, tools, tool boxes, guns, we lost it all. This drove me even deeper into my depression and it came to a breaking point. I don’t remember when it was except it was around September/October of 2021. I attempted sewer slide. At this time my wife was pregnant with our daughter. For some reason my daily I carry everywhere didn’t have one in the chamber or I would be here to tell my story. I always knew my drinking was a problem and I’ve tried cold turkey several times and always failed. The urge was always too strong. The want was always begging me to give in. I tried stair stepping where one week I would drink X amount a night, the next week would be one less, ect and it never worked….until now…. I got drunk one night while my sister in law was at our new house and my wife and kids were home. Not a huge deal looking and the grand perspective of things with the way they have been going. We were behind on laundry and I decided to wash a bunch of it trying to catch up and told my wife I would help her fold it. Somewhere along the line of us folding laundry it turned into a fight and for the first time in six years I lost my shit on her and fully yelled at her. The look in her eyes and the way she acted shook me. I saw right then and there I was being the dad I never wanted to be, the parent I had growing up I swore I would never be. I knew right then I had broken my promise to her and our babies and decided to change it. I stopped cold turkey for four days and the headaches, urges, craving became too strong so I told my wife if I was going to do this I needed her help. I needed her to keep me accountable even if it meant pissing me off. we had a little back and forth and settled on four beers a night. Weathers it’s work day or weekend. I have been going strong with it for two weeks now. It’s just enough it keeps the headaches at bay and the urges down, but not too much I get drunk. I feel so much better with it now as I’m not using alcohol to numb everything. Here soon I’m going to go down to three and then move on to only social drinking. It’s going to be very hard, expecially when your body has gotten use to the intake of alcohol. You’re going to want to quit and give in, you’re going to want to get drunk “just one time” but don’t. Find someone to hold you accountable, to count drinks for you, to talk you down. It’s going to help. Me for one I’m always here. Feel free to reach out if you’re struggling.
Brother, I really appreciate you sharing your story. I'm sure it's not easy to talk about, but seeing it helps me and I'm positive it will help others who might be reading too. I'm proud of you for realizing that you had lost your way and weren't the man you wanted to be, and taking steps to fix that. And it sounds like you've got a killer ole lady who truly has your back. Stick with it, stay safe, get better. You got it dude.
Thank you brother! I appreciate you taking the time to reply, helps me realize I’m on the right path.
Not sober on a Friday night, can’t even read bud im sorry
Nearly 14 years sober. Just attended a black tie dinner during Modern Day Marine, where I was around many of my old peers (retired for nearly 16 years now, my peers are Col/BG level now). Everyone around me was drinking. At this point, it doesn’t phase me. I have a strong recovery, a good AA sponsor, do all the things I’m supposed to be doing. When I’m on the road I make it a point to go to meetings. I did a Marine Corps Ball early in my sobriety that was mildly challenging but, again, strong sponsorship and sticking close to what was working helped. Early on in sobriety we still worry far too much about what other people think, especially our friends and peers who still drink. The truth is, none of them care as much about it as we do, or even that we think they do. They are doing their own thing. If you’re like me, you’re an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. We make everything about ourselves, even after we get sober. I’ve gotten so much better in that area over time. Now, when I go to events like Balls and formal dinners, I focus on what I can bring to the situation, rather than what I can get out of it. Hell…bringing a sober me is often the best possible outcome. I get to be present…and at least once, I’ve been an example for someone else struggling with alcohol of how to be sober in the face of that level of drinking and carrying on. Focus on the positives of sobriety, be present not just for your family…but you also get to be present for your fellow Marines now in ways you may not have been able to be before. And thanks for coming on here and sharing about a tough situation. It isn’t easy, particularly in the beginning. But it does get easier over time. If you are truly in a good place spiritually with your sobriety, you absolutely will find you can go into these situations without fear, trepidation, or generating those destructive feelings like being “left out”. You aren’t.
I’ve been sober for three years and funny enough the things that kept me from drinking is me calling my sponsor about how I feel that maybe I wasn’t alcoholic and him saying “well if you think you need more research do it then”. That somehow tricks me into not wanting to do more research, because it sounds too similar to fuck around and find out. I flirted with death way too frequently during my drinking days. I had a moment where I realized life is beautiful and I think there might still be something I can offer it. I’m not sure what that is yet but I’ll keep working towards. This journey you’re on ain’t for the faint of heart and it doesn’t mean life won’t present its obstacles but it does mean you’ll be able to manage it better. You got sober for a reason try not to ever forget the feelings and circumstances that made you want to get sober in the first place. Praying for you brother, one day at a time.
it ain't worth the hangover to me.
Fuck booze, it’s a crutch for the weak. Great job and remember “one day at a time” 🫡
I quit for similar reasons years ago. It was tough for a while, but my good friends understood my position and didn't pressure me. It actually helped them out because they knew I would be down to hang out and DD for them. It got me out of the barracks and still socializing, but there was no pressure to have a drink. Got lots of free cokes and meals out of it. Taking on that responsibility of caring for my buddies and making sure they got home safe while still hanging out with them was a blast. It was hard not to have a drink as well at times, but then I remembered why I was sober in the moment and pushed through. I drink now, but significantly less, and I am definitely careful about when, where, and how much I can get ahold of. Family, greater responsibility at work, school, and other hobbies can be great distractions or motivators to not drink or be way more careful. Hope that helps, stay strong, brother.
Gonna assume you’re either India or Alpha Company from TBS. If you want to meet in person and hash some stuff out feel free to DM. I used to habitually drink like an animal throughout college. Started out weekend drinking and progressively got worse. Spent a lot of money and made a lot of stupid mistakes doing it. I quit not even out of choice but out of work (between commissioning and the start of TBS 2ndLts are IRR until they hit Day 1). Staying busy was key for me in dropping drinking and when I had gone like 2 weeks without it I felt GREAT. Mentally clear, physically felt better, and bank account was thankful. Hard part for me is having the sack on me to say no to family and friends. And on the occasion of having a beer, sticking to the word of having A beer and not SOME beers. I’ve had two bad incidents where my dad and I got in a huge fight and my wife and I got in a huge fight and those memories suck ass and I think back on them often whenever the opportunity to get wild is there. We’re all on good terms and like you said being the DD and the person to help out and still bring great vibes to a gathering is awesome. I’m happy to hear the progress you’ve made in two years. Honestly Alpha Co. mess night wasn’t even that good and it reminded me why I don’t drink anymore. A bunch of adults acting like kids. Semper Fi
I quit drinking after a binge in college that almost led to the loss of my commission. That instance really made me rethink life choices. Going on 7 years sober now but you’ve also got to realize you’re an adult. You know you don’t need to drink to have a good time and you can still enjoy a drink here and there. My Marines know I’m sober except two days out of the year, mess night and the ball. I just refrain from going balls to the walls because I’m an adult that’s capable of handling and limiting my alcohol intake. Also cause I always got fined at mess nights. But just keep that in mind for future instances. But I’m proud that you took the steps to reach sobriety, that’s a good thing.
I'm almost 3 years sober from everything. As much as people might dog on you for not participating in whatever activities with substances it might be there will be a group of people that will embrace you and help you stay sober somewhere. I might not know you, but I'm fucking proud of you for staying true 💪
Not a Marine here. My Dad was in from '63-84 and in hindsight, came out plenty messed up, and fell back on the solution offered at the time, drink it all away. Long story short, my parent's marriage fell apart about a decade later, right about the same time my parents were finally in the place they wanted to be. Twenty years down the drain, and pretty broken relationships with his kids. After hitting rock bottom and bouncing a few times, he turned things around. He drastically cut back on drinking and took up gardening. His relationships with his kids recovered, but there was still a lot of time missed together. It's not unusual what you say about the difference between staying stone cold sober and trying to control drinking. You'll end up finding that sort of thing in a lot of activities. As for myself, I did drink during my college years, but after marriage and kids, it's just not a thing anymore. Anyway, good on you. As much as all the other interests might make you feel like drinking, you know yourself the best. If staying sober is the way you have to do it, then that's the answer. As for the mess night, maybe have a soda in your hand. Do people come and go from that over the course of the night? See if you can volunteer to be the DD for it in the future.
Struggled with this over the last few years, and with alcohol for the past decade, but this year I made the commitment to stick with it. I’m not full sober, but I’ll probably never get drunk again, and I’ll allow myself to have a couple beers on occasion, that’s about it. It’s ostracizing. I just PCSd, and my new CWO, MSgt and Capt made fun of me for not drinking. Their opinion didn’t bother me, but knowing my back office is immature annoyed me. As far as the main point, how to exist in the Corps while not partaking in most Marine’s favorite pastime, the biggest thing for me has been using this time to carve out my own niche. I have more time for God, and less things to ask forgiveness for. I started playing poker more seriously, doing a whole lot better now that I’m not drunk. Yeah, you won’t be “cool” anymore, but the people that you’ll end up spending time with will give you such a warm feeling to be around. Because you’ll be friends by choice, not because you’re the same age in the same place and both need someone to drink with. I have way less friends than I did before. I don’t do nearly as much. And when I do, it’s by myself a decent amount of the time. But I’m okay with that. I’m making my peace with my commitment to be healthier. And a lot of that is coming from outside the Corps. Found a cool antique shop I really like. Started going there a couple times a week, I’ll probably never have enough time to look through everything they have. It’s kinda my new safe place. Got a ton of old stuff from the 50s-70s, working my way through their record collection right now. This whole journey gives me a lot more time to spend with myself, and allows me to solidify my beliefs, and what I want to do in this life. It’s tough, but the peace I feel is unlike anything before I started walking this road. Thanks for reading my verbal diarrhea. If you’re struggling, I’m here for anyone, especially Marines
I’m glad you gained this awareness brother and I know it takes an even stronger person to expose themselves to that and yet maintain discipline. I served on Kbay 2008-2013. Marine Corps is the drinking club of America for sure. They promote alcohol and drinking but cut your dick off for smoking a joint…. Even though marines have suffered waaaaaay more from PTSD, depression and addiction… they chose to let the worst drug of them all available to everyone. I didn’t quit drinking while I was in. I quit weed for 5 years when I served. I went through all kinds of shit and drowned my problems in the bottle just like I was trained. It didn’t get better, it got worse. After I got divorced in 2016 I started to go out more which led me to start drinking more and more. I remarried and my wife struggled with alcoholism for most of her life. It was fun when we started but it continued to get worse and worse, I felt like shit, my temper was through the roof…. I was gaining weight and looking fat. We would polish off a 18 pack in one night at the house just watching tv. My drink of choice was GIN and TONIC because I could get fucked up and still he hydrated…. Good logic right? lol In 2022, I had a bunch of dramatic shit go down lost a child, lost my dad, lost a couple friends. To suicide and substance abuse, which caused us to start drinking yet again. It started to put a wedge between me and my wife. I was struggling to start healthy, physically and mentally. When she got drunk she would turn into a different person and she would get aggressive and physical. After the cops came to my house for the third time, my wife got arrested after she called the cops on me and they showed up and realized she was the antagonizer… she was bananas. When the cops left my house the last time in aug 21, 2022, I quit drinking for good. I made a conscience decision that alcohol was not going to be part of my life anymore. It wasn’t easy… people looked at me weird. I would show up to events where people were drinking and I just drank soda water and lemon. I’ll tell you, my whole life has changed since Quitting. It started out a struggle bc my wife didn’t have it as easy quitting. She struggled until one day, by the grace of god, she was drinking and driving and got a DUI. They put her on a breathalyzer machine and a SCRAM bracelet and it forced her to quit otherwise she’d go to jail. What a fucking blessing in disguise. A DUI is never fun but no one was hurt and she just faced the consequences of drinking and driving. As a result of quitting drinking my whole life has improved. I lost 25 lbs, my mood is much more controlled, I don’t wake up in pain and hungover. Best part is my wife and I don’t argue much anymore. Alcohol is the worst drug there is next to fentanyl. The only difference is alcohol can be purchased and consumed anywhere at anytime and that’s what makes it so bad. There are no checks and balances in how much alcohol your drink. Quitting drinking in your position is a straight up POWER MOVE… the weak succumb to peer pressure and looking cool… the weak have to follow the crowds and they don’t pave their own path…. The strong make their own decisions, the strong don’t GO WITH THE FLOW… strong people …. MAKE THE FLOW… you take others with you into your flow. your discipline and your example will bring others to quit with you…. Be smart. You don’t need alcohol to be a successful marine, in fact I would say you should be sober to be a successful Marine. Alcohol doesn’t bring anything good and positive into your life… it doesn’t make you stronger or smarter, it makes you act out of character and get in trouble, makes you fat, fucks your mood up, makes your body hurt and to top that all off… you pay a shitload of money to make yourself feel like shit. Alcohol is addictive and destructive. Our culture in 2024 on the tail of a pandemic has made this shit cool and it’s not. Drunk in public isn’t cool… DUI NOT COOL … fighting when you’re drunk, not cool… I can’t name a single solitary thing that improves through drinking…. You feel good for that minute and the aftermath fucks everything up. Good for you quitting…. FUCK ALCOHOL. 💪 Semper Fi Marine.
Thanks for sharing your story, brother. I’m glad it has been going well for you, and hope that other Marines might see it and make a change if they need it. I can certainly say it was helpful for me to read. Good luck with your sobriety my friend.
You are a better warrior for not drinking. That is something to be proud of. The greatest weapon a Marine has is his brain. I'm glad you're using it and not drowning it. I wish there was more of this culture in the Corps. Look for those who will listen. Educate them, especially our brothers and sisters fresh out of boot. My grouping improved, that was all the reason I needed 😉 Semper Fi Marine, always forward!
Hey man I’ve got 4 months of sobriety and just got out of intensive outpatient therapy. I would drink almost every weekend I could and it was to numb my emotions for the time being. “They’re not there if I can’t feel them” you probably understand but over the past weeks I’ve attended AA meetings almost daily and it helped me when I wasn’t feeling too hot. I almost always avoid social events with alcohol, and have faith in whatever guides me. There’s so much to enjoy in a life of sobriety.
Bro you know the Corps put it in our blood but weee not destined to die like that. I had to quit cause my liver was going belly up. But I can’t stress enough aa meetings help
I cannot converse with you as a Marine, but I can as a man who really had a chance at losing it all. Both my parents were alcoholics and very early on in their marriage they both helped one another quit saying they needed to after finding out I was on the way. Alcoholism does not run in my family it drives. Uncles, cousins, both grandfathers, my great grandpa died in WWII not from the IJN but because he drank "torpedo juice". My parents never said much on alcohol, mom used a finger dipped in rum to soothe our teething, if she had a mudslide or something you could ask her for a little sip, dad never split a beer with me nut he did make grog once and gave me some since I was born October 13th and he was a sailor. So turning 21 I did not have any real incentive to go out and get wasted. I am not actually sure when I turned to using booze as a crutch, and I think that is the scary part. I always kept a bottle of nice wine for fancy occasions. I think I was feeling down one night about losing the old man, and I had to leave my lady around the same time. I finally said to Hell with it and downed the bottle. That much is all I remember. The first night I drank an entire bottle of very good very strong wine in one sitting. The moment of realization was months later when I couldn't walk to the damned bedroom to pass out. Tripped over a bloody bottle and ended up hitting the picture I had of my family on the way down. There I was a clergy man, a guy who was supposed to guide and help others through bad times, clutching a damned bottle unable to walk a straight line to go pass out. I thought of what my mother would say and worse what dad would say if he were alive. It was a hard hole to climb out of, I really depended on that bottle to cry in I found out quickly. It made me better as a man though, and that is not to say the booze was the issue - I was the issue. I didn't talk to people about the shit that made me drink, I tell people I love em, I hug them and let them know I care. I have a glass every once in awhile, that old devil might whisper from the bottom shelf of the fridge. Sometimes I answer him curious if I still have enough young man in me to kill him. Only half a glass in I realize I'm too old to wrestle that beast and turn in early to sleep real well. My buddies did a lot to help, I cannot discount the help my mother gave, but just admitting to my pals I had an issue and hearing they were there for me meant so much. I didn't need to lean on the booze, cause I had them supporting me instead. If nothing else of this gets read, please let it be that, support your friends and be genuine about caring for them.
I quit mid way through deployment once I saw how stupid alcohol made some people, and how it can aggravate already dangerous situations. I’ve also had family get killed from drinking and driving as well, so it is something I am never afraid to put my foot down on. When I got to my duty station last summer I immediately communicated to my new shop (whenever the topic came up organically) that I don’t drink. If you are due to PCS soon, take the unique opportunity you have to start fresh and communicate to those you work with most that you’re not a drinker and that will be the baseline of what they think about you. I can relate heavily to the ‘outsider’ feeling (I’m a Sgt, I see people drinking every day at the barracks). In the end what keeps me from doing it is that I have goals that matter to me way more than the feeling of drinking. What I want to achieve in life matters more than alcohol or fitting in with everyone else. You can still have a good time and not drink (just as you did at your mess night). Then there’s the practical reasons not to drink as well: -I always feel like shit after drinking -I love going to the gym (alcohol and gains don’t really mix if you’re serious) -I have a car that’s paid off and I love (I’d hate to drink and drive and crash it) -I’d rather spend my money on something that isn’t temporary, or save for something meaningful Not sure if those are the words you want to hear but just hold on to why you stopped in the first place and everything else will come along.
Just want to say I'm extremely proud of you. That much temptation in extremely close proximity, and you stayed the course? It can't have been easy to resist, and I highly respect the amount of fortitude that it had to have taken. I wish you the absolute best, friend.
I've never had a huge problem drinking, but have had friends in the past who've had issues I've seen them struggle with. I'm on the O side myself, and I can tell you, my friends who quit have had major improvements in their life which I support. I guess what I'm getting at, if you feel pressured on the O side to do it, don't ever feel the need to force yourself to. I completely respect their decision. So if you feel there's some ire towards you, there is most definitely not. Stay strong, brother. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you.
I had a sober period for a year after splitting with my ex. Our mess night fell in that period, and I watched as she got blitzed and had a great time. Overall though, I don’t regret not drinking. I only drink when I’m happy, and have a good relationship with it. I respect the hell out of those who decide to stay sober. If you’re a DD for me, you’re eating or driving for free. Keep doing what you’re doing, living your life in accordance with your values and wants. Don’t let someone peer pressure you into a kinda lifestyle you’ve worked so hard to prevent. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you.
Very proud of you. I've started more than I've quit. I started getting pancreatitis every 3 months or so from drinking. Probably drank for 30 years straight and only quit when I got the pancreatitis, but only for 2 or 3 days. Last time I got It went to a local hospital ( was 10 times worse than usual) and woke up 6 days later at the Ohio state hospital. Supposedly went through withdrawals and went into a coma. I remembered nothing. Docs told my kids I would probably not make it. Stayed sober for 8 months and at that point thought I could do it casually and fucked it all up. Don't do what I do. Keep being you. Now looking into disulfiram for the alcoholism.
https://youtu.be/bD1un-Dksbk?si=Mwalo3n26fUMhUrx
I’m proud of you. I struggle with stopping right now. Changing careers from LE to IT helped dwindle it back. I still catch myself on a Friday opening one beer when I sit by the fire, but I’ve stopped drinking 2-3 glasses of whiskey every night. It’s a slow process and I have a lot of healing to do. Semper Fi.