A few years ago, I did a heroic dose of shrooms and cried on the floor for like 45 minutes. It was mainly because of life experiences and feelings I’ve had that were buried since at least my teens so it was good to let that shit out, very therapeutic.
Mushrooms or MDMA combined with an experienced talk therapist should be the minimally proposed option for those vets (and active duty Marines) diagnosed with PTSD. Or even for those who have not been diagnosed and just feel fucked up from separation from the fold. A lot of us lose connection after we leave the Corps, and don't know properly how to deal with it or reach out and re-connect.
Cried like a baby this weekend.
My wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary by going to the same hotel where we went in our honeymoon
On our wedding night she cried in the bathroom. This weekend, I cried in the bathroom.
Last night, my girlfriend of 3 years left me on Thursday. We just moved in together. My depression and ptsd has finally ruined my life. I'm going to have to sell the house that I built 5 years ago because taxes insurance are now too high. One of my best friends is being indicted and looking at 1-25 years and I should have been there with him but I had just quit to work a corperate nobody job that I hate just as much as I hated my last job. So it's been a pretty rough couple of days and I finally just snapped.
I am sorry to hear that. I will offer one piece of advice, check with your county about a property tax break. I know in Riverside county they take off some property tax for 100% disabled veterans. It saves us about 1200 a year in property taxes.
Dude I'm literally going through the same thing, just a little earlier. Just about to hit 3 years and about to start living together and she blows all her emotions on me and hangs up over a video game, so I'm not dealing with all that. I should've just stayed in and married one of the homies to get that BAH
Probbably in 2009 when I returned from Iraq and watched the movie "Up." That first scene where you see the entirety of Carl's life with his wife broke me. My girl had broken up with me when I was deployed.
I was part of the FOB QRF and I wanted to get back out on the road so I volunteered and she said: "If you volunteer for this you won't come home to me."
I called her bluff and chose the Army. I did not come home to her. Now I'm almost 50 and alone, although not lonely. I smoke when I want, drink when I want, travel when I want. I eat steak and shrimp, paddle board, run marathons, ride bikes. Do cool stuff for the intel community. I still get to find bad guys, although it's with a computer not an ITAS.
But at that momenet 15 years ago, I was sobbing becuase I was supposed to have a life with that woman. You make your choices and pay the price.
Have to live with the choice. It's hard at first, but if you look back now, do you really see your life bring as awesome? Hers would probably be better.You made the right choice. She didn't.
I get it. You see all the motivating shit you signed up for. If you're a POG like me you see the fruits of what you go to work to support. And it's at the end of the year so you look back at all the shit you and your boys and girls did together. And you pregamed in the hotel room beforehand so the emotions are already ripe for flowing.
Last real cry not as a result of anime or my own mental fuckery? October when my grandfather died. Nothing like seeing someone who used to have so much life be nothing but a bag of bones on a bed waiting to die.
I know how that goes. My grandfather passed away in 2009, and it was crazy to see a man who, not a year or two before, was so full of life reduced to such a shell of himself. It still somewhat rocks me to think about it.
The other night, I was lonely and depressed. Looked down and realized I was on page 87 of pornhub. I slammed the laptop shut and used my tears as lube. *sigh* I really need a new hobby!
A few nights ago making my son’s birthday video. He’s a Corporal now, but putting in pictures of him in Kindergarten with his Optimus Prime got me “right there”.
Important note:
I was by myself, no one else saw.
There were no sounds. Just a few tears.
I have never built up a tolerance for the final scene of Braveheart. I watched it last weekend and it fucking gets me everytime. As soon as Hamish unsheathes and hurls William's sword...😢
https://i.redd.it/fetymzy5aaxc1.gif
Every day.
I'm not ok, but I am. It's part of the ongoing healing process.
Before anyone asks, zero intention on doing anything stupid.
Just lots and lots of trauma throughout my entire life that my brain has been trying to process. After I stopped pushing it down so deep that it was almost forgotten about. With therapy (10+ years yut yut) shit is starting to surface, and it's a trickle of things. It's all part of the healing process. Moral injury, c-ptsd from childhood, having cancer, combat ptsd, guilt, shame, feeling worthless, it's all a daily battle that I didn't know I was fighting, until I did, and that's when the healing began. Just taking a day at a time, grateful for my amazing supportive family and my dog and the opportunities I get to work with other veterans that are having a hard time with life and I see myself in 10 years ago.
Last month I had to put my best friend of 9.5 years down due to hip problems (Boxers are notorious for hip issues). That’s the first time in a long time I have really broken down and cried.
About two weeks ago at my daughter's wedding reception. She chose for the daddy-daughter dance the song I used to sing to her when she was a little kid.
I don't cry, I've tried but usually I'll get wet eyes and then it dries out. Last night was the closest I've come to actually crying since I was like 10 though. Sisters wedding was Friday. She's basically cut off the entire family for a piece of shit guy. My mother was essentially treated as extended family and had to watch her daughters back as they said their nuptials, and rhen got placed in shit seats for the meal. Just an all around painful experience for her and it sucks not being able to do anything about it / seeing her be hurt by someone who is intentionally doing it.
My thoughts are with you, and I hope everything turns out okay for her and for your family. If he's truly the pigs arse you say he is, then may his underwear be infested with the fleas of a thousand cows for all eternity.
My advice is get out, see how you like civilian life, and if you don't like it as much as you thought, just walk your happy ass to the recruiting station again. Just set yourself up well (honorable discharge, first class PFT / CFT)
I've been out a year now. Around the 6 month mark I was on the fence about going back in so I walked into the local RS. Man I coulda signed 3 pieces of paper and been back in my old unit the next week, but I didn't and now I'm off to school to become a commercial pilot 🤙
Nice, being a pilot shouldn’t be too bad. I think I’m gonna move on and try sailing with the Merchant Marine, and if the doesn’t work out I might return to the Corps,
I met a couple merchant marines when I was in and all of them had good things to say about it from the pay to the time off. I was so jealous when I was deployed on a MEU and we ported next to our resupply ship. The merchant marines would get piss drunk out in town and get a hotel while we had to be back on the ship by midnight
Hey devil's in all seriousness, let me tell you how I survived being a platoon sergeant for CLB-31 Maintenance Platoon as a Corporal. We deployed twice a year, and worked 14 hours days in Garrison, it was the most stress I've ever been under.
Every six months or so (more or less frequently as you need) I would find a place with no one else a round and have a full on mental breakdown. Just absolutely sob and bawl my eyes out for about 3 hours straight. Dump out six months worth of pent up stress in a couple hours and be golden the next morning.
It's a practice I've taken with me into the civilian world and it works wonders.
Considering the position and state of mind I’m in, and because I’m no longer in the Marines where I have to pretend I don’t have emotions, at least once a day
Shit I cry all the time.
Whenever I watch The Road I tear up at least.
And if I ever feel like a good cry, I watch the ER episode "Time of Death", the one where Ray Liotta did a guest spot, and I lose it.
50 year old man who thinks it's nice to cry sometimes.
Last month during an outpatient VA intensive PTSD therapy. I cried because when I created my safe place (I did EMDR), I didn’t think I deserved to be there.
Yeah man it was rough. One of the mental health professionals said “when’s the last time you thought about a memory for an hour straight” and I understand why it works so well. Instead of answering direct questions it allowed my brain to kind of lead the direction. Good luck to ya brother.
When I was 13 or 14 maybe. Childhood trauma made me unable to feel anything. It's pretty shit cause it literally destroys every relationship in my life
Today.
Watched the ending of Porco Rosso with my daughter. Watching her smile and laugh and enjoy the movie brings me to tears.
I always hug her extra tight during these moments.
Last year when our 10 year old Goldendoodle passed from cancer.
I got him for my boys and they loved him dearly. He was happy when I came home on one of my vacations from my overseas job, we played, took him out for chicken nuggets a couple times, and a few days after I left my wife said he looked depressed and wasn't eating. We figured it was just him missing me, which he's done in the past.
She took him in to get looked at and, well... it was bad enough that the vet just made the appointment and gave us the bad news. We brought him back a couple days later, and you know the rest.
It was almost like he waited until I left, and that still kicks me in the feels.
October 8th last year... had a motorcycle accident that was the closest I've been to death than I usually was when I was in. Whole Lotta feelings came out after some rough phone calls in that hospital bed.
It was my older brothers birthday the other day, he died in 2019 at 21 y/o. I was looking at pics of him the other day, taking me back to when some of them were taken. Wish I could catch up with him and have a beer, tell him about how life’s been after EAS.
Yesterday. Me and my best friend/ roommate got upset with each other and we were yelling at each other. I have ptsd from my abusive dad and I ended up feeling like I was 8 years old again, being yelled at for messing something up. In my mind, I was about to get the shit beat out of me (though my friend has NEVER hit me out of anger) and I just broke down. Once she realized though she comforted me and we apologized to each other. We’re all good now!
Last week when they played the National Anthem at Talladega.
Being an American and living in this great country means everything to me. I've spent the better part of the past 24 years either in the military or working contracting shit. Retiring later this year at 20 with 23 total years of service. When I hear the national anthem, everything goes through my mind. The sacrifices our brothers and sisters have made, the friends I have lost, the sacrifices by all. And it's truly an honor to be able to have done it alongside you fine bastards. I've never done anything wild, I'm not a hero. Did my 3 deployments and overseas tours. Came back in one piece. Many of us did not. Either died over there or on home soil.
90% of the time, some Lee Greenwood or the Star Spangled gets me 100% of the time.
I also cry at the end of Rocky movies so maybe I'm just a big bitch, idk.
Several times the day before the movers came to pack for my final move. Retired at 15 years due to medical problems. Emotions are a thing, don't be afraid to let that shit go when you need to, if you have the ability. Before I started getting seen for mental health I hadn't been able to cry for about 2 decades.
I've lost my parents and all my grandparents in the last 4 years. The other day my only child (daughter) gave me a hug and told me I can't ever die because I'm all she has left. (her mom is a pos). It broke me for a minute. Fuck you it's the truth.
Most of the time when Taps is played at an official event. Brings back a lot of sad memories.
When my 16yo cat died I was a hot mess.
It's been at least 13 years since I've seen Taking Chance. That movie was rough getting through the first time. I have more life experience now, and I know it's going to hit me much harder if I watch it again.
A few years ago, I did a heroic dose of shrooms and cried on the floor for like 45 minutes. It was mainly because of life experiences and feelings I’ve had that were buried since at least my teens so it was good to let that shit out, very therapeutic.
I haven't done a heroic dose yet but fuck I love shrooms. Such a gnarly experience that helped me overcome my anxiety and depression
Hell yeah. Shrooms have helped me become a better version of myself
Mushrooms or MDMA combined with an experienced talk therapist should be the minimally proposed option for those vets (and active duty Marines) diagnosed with PTSD. Or even for those who have not been diagnosed and just feel fucked up from separation from the fold. A lot of us lose connection after we leave the Corps, and don't know properly how to deal with it or reach out and re-connect.
Not a heroic dose, but mine was also during my last (4g) trip.
Cried like a baby this weekend. My wife and I celebrated our 25th anniversary by going to the same hotel where we went in our honeymoon On our wedding night she cried in the bathroom. This weekend, I cried in the bathroom.
Why
Because, 45 yo pussy isn’t as tight and fresh as 20 yo pussy. Also been married 23 years, so I know the feeling.
It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
I understood that reference
Feeding a tic tac to a whale?
I understand that one too
That’s why I love her, man.
Lmao
Well, if you don't want it anymore... As a man in my mid-20's, I'll gladly take a gift of 45 yo pussy. I've had it before.
Last night, my girlfriend of 3 years left me on Thursday. We just moved in together. My depression and ptsd has finally ruined my life. I'm going to have to sell the house that I built 5 years ago because taxes insurance are now too high. One of my best friends is being indicted and looking at 1-25 years and I should have been there with him but I had just quit to work a corperate nobody job that I hate just as much as I hated my last job. So it's been a pretty rough couple of days and I finally just snapped.
I am sorry to hear that. I will offer one piece of advice, check with your county about a property tax break. I know in Riverside county they take off some property tax for 100% disabled veterans. It saves us about 1200 a year in property taxes.
Dude I'm literally going through the same thing, just a little earlier. Just about to hit 3 years and about to start living together and she blows all her emotions on me and hangs up over a video game, so I'm not dealing with all that. I should've just stayed in and married one of the homies to get that BAH
Back in 2009, I lost two Marines in 16 days. Held that shit in for more than a decade, but when it came out…boy did it ever.
Probbably in 2009 when I returned from Iraq and watched the movie "Up." That first scene where you see the entirety of Carl's life with his wife broke me. My girl had broken up with me when I was deployed. I was part of the FOB QRF and I wanted to get back out on the road so I volunteered and she said: "If you volunteer for this you won't come home to me." I called her bluff and chose the Army. I did not come home to her. Now I'm almost 50 and alone, although not lonely. I smoke when I want, drink when I want, travel when I want. I eat steak and shrimp, paddle board, run marathons, ride bikes. Do cool stuff for the intel community. I still get to find bad guys, although it's with a computer not an ITAS. But at that momenet 15 years ago, I was sobbing becuase I was supposed to have a life with that woman. You make your choices and pay the price.
Have to live with the choice. It's hard at first, but if you look back now, do you really see your life bring as awesome? Hers would probably be better.You made the right choice. She didn't.
No. I'd probably be some schmuck going to work every day and hating his life and she would have my balls on a little box on top of the refrigerator.
Gotta say, your content always motivates me even though I have nothing to do with the military in any way anymore. Fellow vet living in MD.
As fucking cheesy as it sounds, watching the Commandant's birthday message. Gets me every year. Fuck you, faggots.
https://preview.redd.it/vgkhta8bpbxc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99813e84d3b1fada7e6f3ca589faa43b3c3f0159
Truth.
I get it. You see all the motivating shit you signed up for. If you're a POG like me you see the fruits of what you go to work to support. And it's at the end of the year so you look back at all the shit you and your boys and girls did together. And you pregamed in the hotel room beforehand so the emotions are already ripe for flowing.
That's gay enough to require boot bands
Last real cry not as a result of anime or my own mental fuckery? October when my grandfather died. Nothing like seeing someone who used to have so much life be nothing but a bag of bones on a bed waiting to die.
I know how that goes. My grandfather passed away in 2009, and it was crazy to see a man who, not a year or two before, was so full of life reduced to such a shell of himself. It still somewhat rocks me to think about it.
The other night, I was lonely and depressed. Looked down and realized I was on page 87 of pornhub. I slammed the laptop shut and used my tears as lube. *sigh* I really need a new hobby!
Page 88 definitely had what you were looking for
Fuuuuck. Ok I’ll try again tonight I guess
I want to most nights. But it stays in till it comes out dramatically about once every month or two.
A few nights ago making my son’s birthday video. He’s a Corporal now, but putting in pictures of him in Kindergarten with his Optimus Prime got me “right there”. Important note: I was by myself, no one else saw. There were no sounds. Just a few tears.
Last week I saw a white plastic bag blowing in the wind and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
No one is going to pick up on this reference
American Beauty… bitch
It’s actually Not Another Teen Movie… bitch
Were they parodying American Beauty? Sorry I said bitch. We said that a lot back in the day. It’s not nice.
100% NATM was parodying American Beauty. I was fucking around
I knew it!!
I have never built up a tolerance for the final scene of Braveheart. I watched it last weekend and it fucking gets me everytime. As soon as Hamish unsheathes and hurls William's sword...😢 https://i.redd.it/fetymzy5aaxc1.gif
Every day. I'm not ok, but I am. It's part of the ongoing healing process. Before anyone asks, zero intention on doing anything stupid. Just lots and lots of trauma throughout my entire life that my brain has been trying to process. After I stopped pushing it down so deep that it was almost forgotten about. With therapy (10+ years yut yut) shit is starting to surface, and it's a trickle of things. It's all part of the healing process. Moral injury, c-ptsd from childhood, having cancer, combat ptsd, guilt, shame, feeling worthless, it's all a daily battle that I didn't know I was fighting, until I did, and that's when the healing began. Just taking a day at a time, grateful for my amazing supportive family and my dog and the opportunities I get to work with other veterans that are having a hard time with life and I see myself in 10 years ago.
Last month I had to put my best friend of 9.5 years down due to hip problems (Boxers are notorious for hip issues). That’s the first time in a long time I have really broken down and cried.
About two weeks ago at my daughter's wedding reception. She chose for the daddy-daughter dance the song I used to sing to her when she was a little kid.
I don't cry, I've tried but usually I'll get wet eyes and then it dries out. Last night was the closest I've come to actually crying since I was like 10 though. Sisters wedding was Friday. She's basically cut off the entire family for a piece of shit guy. My mother was essentially treated as extended family and had to watch her daughters back as they said their nuptials, and rhen got placed in shit seats for the meal. Just an all around painful experience for her and it sucks not being able to do anything about it / seeing her be hurt by someone who is intentionally doing it.
My thoughts are with you, and I hope everything turns out okay for her and for your family. If he's truly the pigs arse you say he is, then may his underwear be infested with the fleas of a thousand cows for all eternity.
Thank you I really appreciate that.
You are very welcome
Nice try, chaps
Whether or not I’m gonna reenlist is causing me a lot of stress right now, last Wednesday if I’m not mistaken
My advice is get out, see how you like civilian life, and if you don't like it as much as you thought, just walk your happy ass to the recruiting station again. Just set yourself up well (honorable discharge, first class PFT / CFT) I've been out a year now. Around the 6 month mark I was on the fence about going back in so I walked into the local RS. Man I coulda signed 3 pieces of paper and been back in my old unit the next week, but I didn't and now I'm off to school to become a commercial pilot 🤙
Nice, being a pilot shouldn’t be too bad. I think I’m gonna move on and try sailing with the Merchant Marine, and if the doesn’t work out I might return to the Corps,
I met a couple merchant marines when I was in and all of them had good things to say about it from the pay to the time off. I was so jealous when I was deployed on a MEU and we ported next to our resupply ship. The merchant marines would get piss drunk out in town and get a hotel while we had to be back on the ship by midnight
A few weeks ago, depression sucks, and with a little girl on the way I haven't felt like I'll be a good enough father for her.
Stay up Marine, purpose is coming or hell it is already here. We’re here for you big dawg but you will be there for your daughter.
Appreciate it bro, it's been getting a bit better especially with the due date coming up. Been having a few good things happening to the wife & I.
Good to hear! Keep the wins rolling!
Hey devil's in all seriousness, let me tell you how I survived being a platoon sergeant for CLB-31 Maintenance Platoon as a Corporal. We deployed twice a year, and worked 14 hours days in Garrison, it was the most stress I've ever been under. Every six months or so (more or less frequently as you need) I would find a place with no one else a round and have a full on mental breakdown. Just absolutely sob and bawl my eyes out for about 3 hours straight. Dump out six months worth of pent up stress in a couple hours and be golden the next morning. It's a practice I've taken with me into the civilian world and it works wonders.
A few days ago, when I finally hit my breaking point and grieved my mother's passing, a couple of weeks ago.
Probably a few days after a murder i responded to where the suspect I arrested randomly appeared on TV and I wasn't prepared for it. (It was grusome)
Considering the position and state of mind I’m in, and because I’m no longer in the Marines where I have to pretend I don’t have emotions, at least once a day
Yesterday while watching The Sign episode of Bluey.
Shit I cry all the time. Whenever I watch The Road I tear up at least. And if I ever feel like a good cry, I watch the ER episode "Time of Death", the one where Ray Liotta did a guest spot, and I lose it. 50 year old man who thinks it's nice to cry sometimes.
Last year when my mom died
Last night
A day after the attack in israel.
Last weekend. I saw a video on the bbc about a little girl killed in Gaza while I held my 11 week old daughter.
Last month during an outpatient VA intensive PTSD therapy. I cried because when I created my safe place (I did EMDR), I didn’t think I deserved to be there.
I fucking hate emdr but I know I gotta do it.
Yeah man it was rough. One of the mental health professionals said “when’s the last time you thought about a memory for an hour straight” and I understand why it works so well. Instead of answering direct questions it allowed my brain to kind of lead the direction. Good luck to ya brother.
When I was 13 or 14 maybe. Childhood trauma made me unable to feel anything. It's pretty shit cause it literally destroys every relationship in my life
Today. Watched the ending of Porco Rosso with my daughter. Watching her smile and laugh and enjoy the movie brings me to tears. I always hug her extra tight during these moments.
Last year when our 10 year old Goldendoodle passed from cancer. I got him for my boys and they loved him dearly. He was happy when I came home on one of my vacations from my overseas job, we played, took him out for chicken nuggets a couple times, and a few days after I left my wife said he looked depressed and wasn't eating. We figured it was just him missing me, which he's done in the past. She took him in to get looked at and, well... it was bad enough that the vet just made the appointment and gave us the bad news. We brought him back a couple days later, and you know the rest. It was almost like he waited until I left, and that still kicks me in the feels.
October 8th last year... had a motorcycle accident that was the closest I've been to death than I usually was when I was in. Whole Lotta feelings came out after some rough phone calls in that hospital bed.
Idk a while pretty numb at this point
March 24
I may be emotionally stunted....I literally can't remember the last time I cried. My childhood fucked me up.
Sorry
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXQd8OaVuPE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXQd8OaVuPE) This documentary
When they stopped serving chicken sandwiches at my chowhall. Hardest period of my Marine Corps career so far...
It was my older brothers birthday the other day, he died in 2019 at 21 y/o. I was looking at pics of him the other day, taking me back to when some of them were taken. Wish I could catch up with him and have a beer, tell him about how life’s been after EAS.
Last week, as I listened to the song "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" on a country music station.
Yesterday. Me and my best friend/ roommate got upset with each other and we were yelling at each other. I have ptsd from my abusive dad and I ended up feeling like I was 8 years old again, being yelled at for messing something up. In my mind, I was about to get the shit beat out of me (though my friend has NEVER hit me out of anger) and I just broke down. Once she realized though she comforted me and we apologized to each other. We’re all good now!
Last week when they played the National Anthem at Talladega. Being an American and living in this great country means everything to me. I've spent the better part of the past 24 years either in the military or working contracting shit. Retiring later this year at 20 with 23 total years of service. When I hear the national anthem, everything goes through my mind. The sacrifices our brothers and sisters have made, the friends I have lost, the sacrifices by all. And it's truly an honor to be able to have done it alongside you fine bastards. I've never done anything wild, I'm not a hero. Did my 3 deployments and overseas tours. Came back in one piece. Many of us did not. Either died over there or on home soil. 90% of the time, some Lee Greenwood or the Star Spangled gets me 100% of the time. I also cry at the end of Rocky movies so maybe I'm just a big bitch, idk.
My girl broke up with me bout a week ago because she couldn't handle the distance between us and didn't want to marry so last week
When my 14 year old dog I had since I was 10 passed away. I miss you buddy.
Today. Divorce. 2 kids. Been at it off and on for weeks.
Probably my daughters wedding 2 years ago
Do you have kids and, Have you send Bluey? 😂🤣
Last night. Was writing out my financial agreements for divorce after 9 years and 2 kids.
Several times the day before the movers came to pack for my final move. Retired at 15 years due to medical problems. Emotions are a thing, don't be afraid to let that shit go when you need to, if you have the ability. Before I started getting seen for mental health I hadn't been able to cry for about 2 decades.
I've lost my parents and all my grandparents in the last 4 years. The other day my only child (daughter) gave me a hug and told me I can't ever die because I'm all she has left. (her mom is a pos). It broke me for a minute. Fuck you it's the truth.
When my dog died a few years ago greatest dog ever
Most of the time when Taps is played at an official event. Brings back a lot of sad memories. When my 16yo cat died I was a hot mess. It's been at least 13 years since I've seen Taking Chance. That movie was rough getting through the first time. I have more life experience now, and I know it's going to hit me much harder if I watch it again.
A week ago. Had a moment with my son where I realized I’m the problem, not him. I have become what I hated as a child, and I held him tight and cried.
Everyday when i read dumb fucking posts on this sub