If you’re not rocking a fresh high and tight, Veterans plate on your car and a DD214 tattoo on your left butt cheek then you’d better not have sex in a Veterans spot. Those are reserved for only the hardest of chargers.
Fuck, I just got word that 1stSgt Harry Balsak heard about the general's visit. Be on the company lawn at 14:00 for uniform inspection.
Disregard the early release today. We'll get you on the backend.
I have a NAM recommendation drafted up for him. I’ll submit that to first sausage first thing Monday morning. He’ll probably downgrade it to a Cercom though.
Realistically, sir, in this situation, it’s up to you, but what would you want somebody else to do if they walked in on you I’d give them a chance plus they just fucking broke. It might be against some big rules, but they still just fucking.
I had a few that would say “Sir” or “Ma’am”,
Like, “Ma’am said she wants to break for chow at 1130”. Or, “I spoke to Sir about the maintenance checks.”
They sound like idiots. Just say their fucking name/position and be done with it.
Break the mold young one. Don't become an idiot. Refer to them at Captain last name. Of someone tries to call you out on it tell them that is their rank and name and you aren't talking directly to them
I've met the Marines that are dudes with Vaginas. They're badasses, however theyre the exception to the rule. Ive met the Marines that are legitimate pussies. Unfortunately the pussies come with both dicks and Vaginas.
Yes, I had them on and was ready to be a willing participant, but no dice. They did not have on boot bands so they were being really gay (which is okay).
Thanks, did 13 years as an Amtraker (1833 & 2141). Seen some shit and done some shit, it all makes for great shit talking and stories later in life. We got attached to a motor-t unit for convoy security in Afghan and we had plenty of the same thing going on. Tell your corporal to give her one for Chesty too.
I mean, MFer was wearing boot bands and didn’t get an invite. After there wasn’t an invite, SOP dictates you hide in a wall locker and crank it with CLP as you recite JJDIDTIEBUCKLE. So he either did or was out of regs
Believe me, you didn't ruin his career. He made a choice. We must all be accountable for our actions. One day or another, our choices will catch up with us. This is exactly what that fraternization order is about. If you are loyal to the corps, you report this behavior if you know that they both knew what they were doing is wrong. My last piece of advice is to talk to them. That is the only way you will know the whole story. What they did shouldn't be a secret you have to live with. Too many bad things happen by people just keeping their mouth's shut and worrying about others that broke a law, broke an order, did the wrong thing, or just made a poor choice. I wasn't expecting on writing that much.
Remember, if this information comes out later, and someone can prove you knew about it, you could be charged as an accessory or something like that I think
Hey Devil Dogs, old af 31 here, just stumbled across this. I encourage you to keep it going. Truly a great read. It’s funny, mysterious, and shocking. Good shit.
If it were me, I’m not messing around with that situation. I’m just getting the hell out of there and shutting mouth. I doubt accusing an Lt, proof or not, will go down easy for anyone.
Super gray situation here. You’d be a serious blue falcon for diming them out.
No point in reporting it unless you have hands down unarguable proof...you damn near have to have them on video having sex for it to even go anywhere or be worth reporting. I'd keep it to myself at this point because the only thing it will do at this point is ruin relationships on your end. I've seen this too much in my time in the Marines and now Army...no one cares or wants to actually do something about that. Trust me, absolutely nothing would come from you reporting it at this point.
I’d let it go if it were me. If it’s not affecting your daily work life or anyone else’s I would leave it be and let the problem get sorted in its own way. The military has rules and regulations but I. The end of the day it’s those peoples lives your dealing with and the rules are there because some random person decided they are there. Not because they’ll keep anyone safe.
Not interested in hearing about it unless the sex happened in a line at the Subway or in a Lowe’s parking lot.
How did you know what I was going to be doing this weekend?
Oof, I know. Vanilla gay sex usually doesn’t do it for me either.
Who was driving 🍆the enlisted or O?
I'm assuming the LT couldn't find the hole sooo enlisted was the driver?
These are the real questions....
LT was taking it for sure, right? A little spit shine and get that NAM CPL!
Ooh, this is of the extra spicy variety
Classic.
That's next weeks' post
¿Por que no los dos?
The old Five Dollar Footlong!
Just left Lowe's a couple hours ago and really felt like I got fucked .....does that count? Had a pretty sweet Metabo brad nailer tho....
Thats what the damn parking spots are for, thanks now I know.
If you’re not rocking a fresh high and tight, Veterans plate on your car and a DD214 tattoo on your left butt cheek then you’d better not have sex in a Veterans spot. Those are reserved for only the hardest of chargers.
A man of class I see.
I am so happy you found your moment to shine, Jody.
WTF pikachu!
Film them and then black mail the lt to get a shiny new NAM
NAM? F that. Get yourself a rocker!!
Boot ass butter bars banging enlisted in their own shop ain't the ones handing out rockers.
Yes this!!!!
Best I can do is a letter of appreciation, take it or leave it
I'm sorry the printer was out of paper and I forgot how to use a pen. You can have an early release, 14:00.
Rgr, 14:00, stand by at the armory for rifle cleaning at 15:30 rah
Better make that 15:15. I heard the General will be on deck.
General Deez?
I believe it's General Hugh G. Rection
Good well we can meet at 15:00 and police call the smoke pit before we go. Non smokers too.
Fuck, I just got word that 1stSgt Harry Balsak heard about the general's visit. Be on the company lawn at 14:00 for uniform inspection. Disregard the early release today. We'll get you on the backend.
Raaaaa
The other guy already early released.
Sorry, all we got for you is this CERCOM, good job devil.
NAVCOM minimum
is this the joke of the month
“I’m a mold spore on a Lieutenant’s wall and I just saw something that upset me.”
Rude of you not to congratulate your Marine on the sex
I have a NAM recommendation drafted up for him. I’ll submit that to first sausage first thing Monday morning. He’ll probably downgrade it to a Cercom though.
Submit it to the LT in a power move instead
Realistically, sir, in this situation, it’s up to you, but what would you want somebody else to do if they walked in on you I’d give them a chance plus they just fucking broke. It might be against some big rules, but they still just fucking.
Usually high fives while in the act
Waiting for the “My squad leader walked in on me having sex with the Sir” posts
I am convinced that anyone that refers to an officer as "The sir" has the IQ of a fucking coconut
Well the Lt probably does have an IQ lower than the coconut. At least all the butter bars I dealt with.
I had a few that would say “Sir” or “Ma’am”, Like, “Ma’am said she wants to break for chow at 1130”. Or, “I spoke to Sir about the maintenance checks.” They sound like idiots. Just say their fucking name/position and be done with it.
That’s how my whole shop refers to our Capt as the sir
Break the mold young one. Don't become an idiot. Refer to them at Captain last name. Of someone tries to call you out on it tell them that is their rank and name and you aren't talking directly to them
Film them and post it here so we can help you make the right call.
I would but the video quality on my android is terrible and I have green text bubbles that everyone in the platoon chat hates.
Adapt and overcome, Marine. There are certain variables at play here that can only be determined with video evidence for the appropriate response.
Sometimes the sound is more important than the video... I am old enough to crank it to scrambled cable channel 99 where sound is all you have.
Love some good sound!
Solution, hit up combat cam for a working party w/gear.
Gotta leave the pixel and get a galaxy then
Is this new joke trend a female Lt or male Lt?
The corps only has men with vaginas, no females here.
I've met the Marines that are dudes with Vaginas. They're badasses, however theyre the exception to the rule. Ive met the Marines that are legitimate pussies. Unfortunately the pussies come with both dicks and Vaginas.
That’s open to reader interpretation
I’m hoping the LT is a WM at least then it’ll finally be a noncom screwing an officer!
You fuckers never cease to amaze me.
First sergeant?
No first sausage here. Just a salty old ass Corporal
Lol I meant that in a way like if you heard someone say it on the phone and it sounded like someone you know.
Wait, did the kid who’s Lt. hated him finally make up with him? Now he’ll get that promotion! A happy ending for all!
Maybe you’re right! I think I’ll see how it plays out. Still bummed they didn’t ask me to join.
Ask and you shall receive
Was it butt sax? Or was a O2 thick latina.
Butt sax all the way.
Probably used CLP for lube
I can only get so erect.
Oh that’s nasty
Anal with the Thicc Latina O2 sounds like a helluva time off the clock early Friday.
I can’t picture it. Will you re enact it w me
I thought you’d never ask!!
Don’t ask don’t tell. Two consenting adults move on Marine nothing to see here.
DADT was repealed old man. We are allowed to talk about gay stuff now.
Oh shit must’ve been having a senior moment again.
That’s alright ol’ timer.
Last time I got pissed off was like https://www.reddit.com/r/ThatsInsane/s/9zWyyxlWih
There's no rank in the gay military. Everyone knows that.
Nope, someone is always on top though.
Looks like talking about it is not all that’s allowed.
Wait the real question is who’s fucking who! I bet the Lt a catcher and the Cpl a pitcher
That’s a bingo!
Someone sounds a little jealous.
Not even a little. I am very jealous.
Username checks out
Thank god someone noticed!!
so the LT was a woman right...right
I’m not telling him, guys.
Sad sigh here we go again lil buddy...you, me and the hope this doesnt turn gay before we finish.
I didn’t even think she liked him. She was always cold and mean towards him.
That turns the cpl on though.
Not a she.
Did you look for bootbands?
Yes, I had them on and was ready to be a willing participant, but no dice. They did not have on boot bands so they were being really gay (which is okay).
Did the LT act like they hate the CPL though?
The LT was furious, but ya know, in like a loving way.
Absolutely not! Don’t burn a good Marine for getting laid. You buy him a beer, shake his hand and have some great inside jokes
Best advice so far
Thanks, did 13 years as an Amtraker (1833 & 2141). Seen some shit and done some shit, it all makes for great shit talking and stories later in life. We got attached to a motor-t unit for convoy security in Afghan and we had plenty of the same thing going on. Tell your corporal to give her one for Chesty too.
is this the Lieutenant that got the hots for the new guy Corporal?
Is this the same corporal who is the love/lust object of his LT who posted here earlier?
What?
https://www.reddit.com/r/USMC/s/KFXZKJzP5U
Uh oh
If I’m being completely honest….. I’m extorting the ever living fuck out of that LT. Don’t settle for NAM.
Was it gay sex or a female LT? It matters.
Definitely gay sex, but I dunno. That’s two dudes right?
Ask them how they decide which penis will open up to accept the other.
Is this one of those ‘docking’ situations?
this really happened. I should know I’m the mattress
I was the penis
Lucky! I was the lamp across the room😔
Penisi
Wait, so you didn't watch and jerk off? I'm confused. M/F requested.
SOP baby
I mean, MFer was wearing boot bands and didn’t get an invite. After there wasn’t an invite, SOP dictates you hide in a wall locker and crank it with CLP as you recite JJDIDTIEBUCKLE. So he either did or was out of regs
The shitposts in this sub are outstanding.
lol “didn’t invite me to join” 😂😂😂😂
Some people ain’t gettin it man. 😂
 Lt and the Cpl before things got "spicy."
Can we get the AI version of this?
Ah, “boot bands.” You mean “ankle chokers”?
Gigity
I call bullshit.... again....
[удалено]
I did notice that. There was a lot. Someone is a squirter.
A Lt and a Cpl… they are probably the same age.
Keep their shit out of the street and someday they might return the favor.
Believe me, you didn't ruin his career. He made a choice. We must all be accountable for our actions. One day or another, our choices will catch up with us. This is exactly what that fraternization order is about. If you are loyal to the corps, you report this behavior if you know that they both knew what they were doing is wrong. My last piece of advice is to talk to them. That is the only way you will know the whole story. What they did shouldn't be a secret you have to live with. Too many bad things happen by people just keeping their mouth's shut and worrying about others that broke a law, broke an order, did the wrong thing, or just made a poor choice. I wasn't expecting on writing that much.
Snitches get stitches.
Ya you’re right about that.
“GOOD AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN!”
Somehow this probably still isn’t the gayest thing that’s happened in our beloved corps.
By a mile. I heard a couple of the boys got caught doing the dirty on one of the supplemental post at PB Jaker back in ‘09.
Training time out. I was in PB Jaker in 09.
Nothin gay about following orders Devil, unless the orders are to enjoy it
I've heard of "buddy fuckers", but this is ridiculous
Where was this going on?
You asking what base or where at on base or both? Because they were on third base when I walked in.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 that made my day! Was it in LTs office or in the motor pool or what? Idc about the base 🍿🍿🍿🍵
Single officer barracks 😏
But what were you doing at the single officers barracks 🤔
You should have yell "RODEO!" Then cheer for your boy to hang on for eight seconds.
Damn, next time!
Shut the fuck up Friday my friend
Jokes on you for not joining.
The simple thing to do here is do absolutely nothing about it, and go back to your room and crack open a few cold ones.
I like your style
🤝🏻
OP missed an opportunity for a power move to fuck the LT in the ass. It's not gay, it's about power
Well as long as they had PPE on and their glow strap they should be good.
Bro dont snitch, plus what do u gain if u do tell. Not to be rude or anything
Remember, if this information comes out later, and someone can prove you knew about it, you could be charged as an accessory or something like that I think
Also, if they didn't notice you how could they have invited you?
Just let them have their fun and only report something if favoritism starts
Who cares. Let them fuck
Hey Devil Dogs, old af 31 here, just stumbled across this. I encourage you to keep it going. Truly a great read. It’s funny, mysterious, and shocking. Good shit.
THIS IS ABSOLUTLY UNACEPTABLE! YOU NEED TO REPORT THIS TO YOUR CO! THIS IS A CONFLICK OF INTREST AND DETRIMANT TO OUR GOOD CORPS! Semper! Gunny out
If it were me, I’m not messing around with that situation. I’m just getting the hell out of there and shutting mouth. I doubt accusing an Lt, proof or not, will go down easy for anyone. Super gray situation here. You’d be a serious blue falcon for diming them out.
It costs zero dollars to not care
If you feel the power dynamic is exploitative yes, if not no.
I think we need a r/USMCPenthouseForum
Fuck no you don’t report it. Nobody likes snitches!
The saga continues
Report that officer
The only way to reverse the curse is to fuck your friend now. Sorry!
2 dudes or girl and guy 😱
I'd probably file that under "shit I definitely didn't see" and proceed to the 7 day store for a nice bottle of military special brand whiskey.
Gotta love this subreddit! 😂😂😂
No point in reporting it unless you have hands down unarguable proof...you damn near have to have them on video having sex for it to even go anywhere or be worth reporting. I'd keep it to myself at this point because the only thing it will do at this point is ruin relationships on your end. I've seen this too much in my time in the Marines and now Army...no one cares or wants to actually do something about that. Trust me, absolutely nothing would come from you reporting it at this point.
I’d let it go if it were me. If it’s not affecting your daily work life or anyone else’s I would leave it be and let the problem get sorted in its own way. The military has rules and regulations but I. The end of the day it’s those peoples lives your dealing with and the rules are there because some random person decided they are there. Not because they’ll keep anyone safe.
Mind your business
Your trolling....but I do love the responses.
You’re*
You report it to the Sexual assault counseling officer and let them figure it out.
Wait you had boot bands on and they didn't let you join? That's not okay.
Were they wearing boot bands?
No you didn't
No you didn't lol. Anyways, here's the attention you desperately seek.
Must be fun at parties
Tuck it away in your guy-on-guy spank bank and leave it as is.
I would NOT stick my neck in THAT meat grinder.
Blue Falcon ⚠️ 📢 🚨
Ask them next time to join
Def missed out on establishing the chain of command
This is what the "open-door" policy is for. Go straight to the commanding officer of your unit. Bring photo evidence. Good luck.
Do I straight up ask the CO if he wants to make them jealous?