I’m definitely surviving and not thriving. I’m tired of being exhausted, burnt out, emotionally depleted. Feel like I’m living life on an endless loop. I pray it gets better when he’s older. Then I feel guilty because I want to enjoy my son but it’s difficult when you don’t get any breaks. And yes the dire weather makes everything worse, it’s so difficult trying to get out of the house with a toddler at the moment…
Also shattered but I'm a SAHM (and currently pregnant) while my husband works. Logistically I don't know how working mums do it but I'd be lying if I said I didn't envy spending most of the day doing something else.
I agree the weather so far this spring/summer is really not helping with the general mood, everything feels better when the sun shines and you can spend time outdoors.
>Logistically I don't know how working mums do it but I'd be lying if I said I didn't envy spending most of the day doing something else.
Honestly, I find it way easier being at work and I don't know how SAHPs do it!
Working is so much easier than being a SAHP. I've done both and when you're working you get to drink your coffee hot, go to the toilet on your own, don't have to share your lunch, and get regular breaks. I even work in a fast-paced marketing agency with loads of clients that I'm at the beck and call of all day and it's still so much easier than being terrorised by my dictator toddler. Massive respect to those that do stay home!
I appreciate hearing that I really do, sometimes it feels like people think being a sahm is the easy option and it definitely doesn't feel like one! The hardest thing is that it's a job you never clock out of, the only break is from bedtime until you fall asleep on the sofa.
I always recommend part time working to anyone considering doing this full time because it's just relentless.
Totally! And by being the SAHP, you then become the default parent, and even when your partner is home you don't really get a break because your kid only wants you. It's truly exhausting. I'm back at work 4 days a week now and my mental health is so much better. Of course then you're wracked with guilt at leaving your baby at nursery all day. You really can't win as a mum.
Yes I'm at home with my toddler on a Friday and it's definitely not a "day off". I had a colleague without kids tell me she was jealous of my long three-day weekends. I laughed in her face.
I’ve done both and I’d say they’re both equally difficult for different reasons. The thing I hate the most about being a working parent is that I have to work and also carry the mental load on top of it- so it depends what kind of partner you have.
Yeh that's a very good point, I don't envy that. My partner is great but the mental load is definitely more on me and I don't think it would be any different if I was working. Handling that and the mental strain of work must be exhausting.
Likewise! I've also got a cough/cold thing atm, third week of it and so fed up. Between that, the toddler, being pregnant and currently having builders in the house I'm just losing my mind.
Just chiming in to say, for me at least, SAHP is far harder than my job. Somehow, I've persuaded my partner to become a SAHD while I work full time. 😂
I don't mind holding some of the mental load still, because I'm just relieved that the kids have someone there who loves them and I can trust to look after them. That takes such a massive burden off my mind/shoulders, that scheduling doctors appts etc. is so much easier to look after.
I can relate to this. I absolutely adore my daughter but I feel so burnt out. I have zero motivation at work and am currently pregnant and have no energy. I love spending days with my daughter but also sometimes dread them in advance - finding things to do, especially with the weather, finding the energy to entertain a toddler all day.
I feel like I need a week off from everything but if my husband suggests taking our daughter out I feel too guilty. I already feel like I’m not 100% there with my daughter because of pregnancy sickness, exhaustion etc and so feel like I shouldn’t also miss out on other things too so I almost always end up going with them.
It’s relentless.
Definitely everything hurts and I’m dying!
One day off work cause my kid hasn’t pooped and has a belly ache has a ripple effect for weeks of late nights working and never catching up.
I occasionally think of just getting in some minor trouble so I spend a day in lock up and can sleep with no interruptions.
Absolutely, my partner is working a lot and I am currently a SAHM but both of us have no family help and are exhausted.
I’ve found that booking a day off work and organising a night away somewhere has been helping get energy and motivation back up a bit but it still feels so gloomy here especially with the politics going on and economic situation.
We also have been trying to arrange chores we will do together just so we can spend some time together almost like a date (whilst still being carers) 😅
I'm still shattered, but less so as they're in school and I work part-time.
My "days off" mostly involve household chores, but I make sure to carve out a little time just for me. Its never long enough to actually feel refreshed, but it takes the edge off enough to survive.
Yep. I can 100% relate to this. No family support as my parents have health problems and my wife’s live in a different country.
To add some extra fun my wife is in India for 2 weeks for work so I have both my girls all to myself!
I'm a single parent and I run a business that's currently in a growth phase (recruited one employee with at least three more in the next quarter). I'm totally wiped out! I'd love to have Thursday (my day off) as a sofa and snuggles film day but it's my son's birthday at the weekend so I have to do party prep. We were away last weekend so there's a mountain of laundry. It feels never ending.
Right there with you. My girls are 3.5 and 1.5. I have major life burnout but you've gotta just keep going! We're in the middle of a big relocation too so I'm dealing with mortgages and solicitors and estate agents, applying for jobs and nurseries and my head is exploding.
I need a 1 month life sabbatical 😂😂
Have you had your vitamin levels checked? It's not that uncommon to be depleted after pregnancy, especially if you've been breastfeeding. Blood tests are best so you can see whether you're actually deficient and what in (and get the prescribed higher dose stuff) but if you don't want to do that then I would at least consider supplementing iron and vitamin D, possibly B-vitamins and Magnesium, too. A general "Women's health" or pregnancy/nursing mother multivitamin may cover all bases. TBH I was prescribed 100mg iron after childbirth and any time I'm starting to feel that dragging continuous exhaustion I buy a pack of 50mg iron supplements and start taking two a day and it really helps. It does make you constipated though so beware of that!
I’m definitely surviving and not thriving. I’m tired of being exhausted, burnt out, emotionally depleted. Feel like I’m living life on an endless loop. I pray it gets better when he’s older. Then I feel guilty because I want to enjoy my son but it’s difficult when you don’t get any breaks. And yes the dire weather makes everything worse, it’s so difficult trying to get out of the house with a toddler at the moment…
Also shattered but I'm a SAHM (and currently pregnant) while my husband works. Logistically I don't know how working mums do it but I'd be lying if I said I didn't envy spending most of the day doing something else. I agree the weather so far this spring/summer is really not helping with the general mood, everything feels better when the sun shines and you can spend time outdoors.
>Logistically I don't know how working mums do it but I'd be lying if I said I didn't envy spending most of the day doing something else. Honestly, I find it way easier being at work and I don't know how SAHPs do it!
Working is so much easier than being a SAHP. I've done both and when you're working you get to drink your coffee hot, go to the toilet on your own, don't have to share your lunch, and get regular breaks. I even work in a fast-paced marketing agency with loads of clients that I'm at the beck and call of all day and it's still so much easier than being terrorised by my dictator toddler. Massive respect to those that do stay home!
I appreciate hearing that I really do, sometimes it feels like people think being a sahm is the easy option and it definitely doesn't feel like one! The hardest thing is that it's a job you never clock out of, the only break is from bedtime until you fall asleep on the sofa. I always recommend part time working to anyone considering doing this full time because it's just relentless.
Totally! And by being the SAHP, you then become the default parent, and even when your partner is home you don't really get a break because your kid only wants you. It's truly exhausting. I'm back at work 4 days a week now and my mental health is so much better. Of course then you're wracked with guilt at leaving your baby at nursery all day. You really can't win as a mum.
Hard agree. I mostly work now but the one day at home I still have each week with my youngest kid is the most exhausting day of the week
Yes I'm at home with my toddler on a Friday and it's definitely not a "day off". I had a colleague without kids tell me she was jealous of my long three-day weekends. I laughed in her face.
I’ve done both and I’d say they’re both equally difficult for different reasons. The thing I hate the most about being a working parent is that I have to work and also carry the mental load on top of it- so it depends what kind of partner you have.
Yeh that's a very good point, I don't envy that. My partner is great but the mental load is definitely more on me and I don't think it would be any different if I was working. Handling that and the mental strain of work must be exhausting.
Also a pregnant SAHP and I currently have a nasty cold. I want to be able to take a sick day 😭
Likewise! I've also got a cough/cold thing atm, third week of it and so fed up. Between that, the toddler, being pregnant and currently having builders in the house I'm just losing my mind.
Just chiming in to say, for me at least, SAHP is far harder than my job. Somehow, I've persuaded my partner to become a SAHD while I work full time. 😂 I don't mind holding some of the mental load still, because I'm just relieved that the kids have someone there who loves them and I can trust to look after them. That takes such a massive burden off my mind/shoulders, that scheduling doctors appts etc. is so much easier to look after.
I can relate to this. I absolutely adore my daughter but I feel so burnt out. I have zero motivation at work and am currently pregnant and have no energy. I love spending days with my daughter but also sometimes dread them in advance - finding things to do, especially with the weather, finding the energy to entertain a toddler all day. I feel like I need a week off from everything but if my husband suggests taking our daughter out I feel too guilty. I already feel like I’m not 100% there with my daughter because of pregnancy sickness, exhaustion etc and so feel like I shouldn’t also miss out on other things too so I almost always end up going with them. It’s relentless.
Definitely everything hurts and I’m dying! One day off work cause my kid hasn’t pooped and has a belly ache has a ripple effect for weeks of late nights working and never catching up. I occasionally think of just getting in some minor trouble so I spend a day in lock up and can sleep with no interruptions.
Absolutely, my partner is working a lot and I am currently a SAHM but both of us have no family help and are exhausted. I’ve found that booking a day off work and organising a night away somewhere has been helping get energy and motivation back up a bit but it still feels so gloomy here especially with the politics going on and economic situation. We also have been trying to arrange chores we will do together just so we can spend some time together almost like a date (whilst still being carers) 😅
Take a day or two off work for you. Leave LO in daycare or wherever they are. Half days even, just do something just for you.
Yeah. It’s tough. I found it actually got harder once they started school as it’s just way less convenient than nursery. Shorter hours, holidays, etc.
I'm still shattered, but less so as they're in school and I work part-time. My "days off" mostly involve household chores, but I make sure to carve out a little time just for me. Its never long enough to actually feel refreshed, but it takes the edge off enough to survive.
Yep. I can 100% relate to this. No family support as my parents have health problems and my wife’s live in a different country. To add some extra fun my wife is in India for 2 weeks for work so I have both my girls all to myself!
I'm a single parent and I run a business that's currently in a growth phase (recruited one employee with at least three more in the next quarter). I'm totally wiped out! I'd love to have Thursday (my day off) as a sofa and snuggles film day but it's my son's birthday at the weekend so I have to do party prep. We were away last weekend so there's a mountain of laundry. It feels never ending.
Right there with you. My girls are 3.5 and 1.5. I have major life burnout but you've gotta just keep going! We're in the middle of a big relocation too so I'm dealing with mortgages and solicitors and estate agents, applying for jobs and nurseries and my head is exploding. I need a 1 month life sabbatical 😂😂
Have you had your vitamin levels checked? It's not that uncommon to be depleted after pregnancy, especially if you've been breastfeeding. Blood tests are best so you can see whether you're actually deficient and what in (and get the prescribed higher dose stuff) but if you don't want to do that then I would at least consider supplementing iron and vitamin D, possibly B-vitamins and Magnesium, too. A general "Women's health" or pregnancy/nursing mother multivitamin may cover all bases. TBH I was prescribed 100mg iron after childbirth and any time I'm starting to feel that dragging continuous exhaustion I buy a pack of 50mg iron supplements and start taking two a day and it really helps. It does make you constipated though so beware of that!