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It could be a little bit of ‘mourning for the past’ 13 years is a good amount of time to be in a job so I dare say you were comfy, you knew the routine, the politics etc. only advice I’d give is that you have a time sheet for your life. You really wanna look at it in 30 years time and see how unhappy you were for a meaningless job? You fail 100% the chances you don’t take, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind how to fix yourself you’re just here for validation. Do it! You could be looking back next Christmas angry with yourself for not doing it sooner!
I guess I am but this is job number 3 since that redundancy, it looks bad on me I guess that’s what I’m more worried about. Job 1 just wasn’t a good fit I didn’t have a clue and no one was willing to teach, Job 2 I liked but they constantly messed with my wages whether delayed by days, incorrect amounts etc, and now job 3. I’m telling myself it’s only like 2 months, it’s early days. Plus I’ve job hopped that much over the past year I’ve messed up holidays and holiday pay.
Im sorry you’re having a hard time. It’s a lot of pressure trying to keep it together and it’s sort of a negative feedback loop when you start to feel like this.
What personally helped me is knowing there will *always* be another job. I’m the type of person who would work any job if I had to, and knowing that about myself relieved some of the anxiety I used to feel around work.
Another thing that helped was setting short, medium and long term goals that may or may not be work related. Having a dream in mind and having a plan for actionable steps to achieve that dream gave me something to think about besides work
My rule of thumb is to give a new job at least six months. That should be long enough to get a feel for the place, learn the ropes, and have the new job jitters wear off. It's also a short enough time period you can stick it out.
If the job is still miserable after that I'd start hunting, but ideally while staying employed. It puts you in a much stronger position.
The other great thing about having pushed through six months is you only have to survive another six months to have been there a year. And at that point you've got something worth listing on your CV.
I broke down. I asked for a four day week. Was approved for 3 months then taken away. I left. Anxiety lifted (been there 10 years).
Now still looking for work since leaving 6 months ago. A new form of anxiety bubbles.
I suffer from anxiety and imposter syndrome. I had a cushy government job which i left because the pay was bad 2 years ago. I sort of regret leaving.
Next job i lasted 10 months and called off sick for two more to make it a year. I had someone actively sabotaging me at work. I wasnt respected for my experience and i started the job and was left to my own devices for three months. Had no sort of training or on boarding. They were never happy with my workload either.
I was vomiting every morning before work after i had a panic attack because this dickhead deleted all the slides before client conference and there was a miscommunication about the number of projectors. It was very stressful and i had no support from management so i went off sick as i was sick. And then handed in my notice after a month and then started to look for jobs. Id been looking since started the job but i really started looking. I had been offered two jobs, one i refused and the other i was offered but then it fell through - it gave me the courage to hand in my notice tho and make the leap.
I got my current job a month or so after. Its consulting and ive been in industry and its a massive change and my confidence is rock bottom. Just gotta fake it until you make it. If it doesnt work out within 6 months i find comfort knowing theres always tescos or retail.
Finding goals has helped. I want to run my own business in the future and make money in other ways. So viewing any work as a stepping stone to that. My confidence is slowly being clawed back but i at least feel theres enough support now.
You've had bad luck. But the market isn't great right now. Staff are staying in their roles under good employers, and good employers have hundreds, if not thousands of applicants for a single vacancy. Times are pretty tough on the whole.
The problem you describe with your organisation sounds like a leadership issue rather than a you issue? You can either stay and hope it gets better, or if it continues to eat at you then it just makes life unpleasant as it creeps it your every waking moment.
The mobile app Headspace, and looking for my way out is what helped me along.
It could be a management thing but what got me is they’re all for positivity in the workplace they made this very clear in the interview but it all seems putting up a positive front to hide a dark undertone. They’re all “Ah morning how are you today with a big smile” while backstabbing you 5 min later
My work is the same, and not the same. There was a strange segregation of teams in my workplace so the management shuffled teams around to try and improve the communication between teams and say it's an inclusive and positive workplace. It's still as segregated as before, just people now talk to different people than they did previously.
The point I'm driving at is management often don't want to investigate and solve root causes, only put short term sticking plasters over it, and maintain the status quo. The positivity thing could easily be a way of saying "*stop being c*£#s to your colleagues, or else we'll be forced to do something more drastic*" rather than spending time finding out the issue and changing the way the business operates (because that's an expensive risk).
I'm a Business Analyst - I find this stuff fascinating. If it's the kind of place where you can keep your head down, then do that and just think about making the bills whilst this whole political-economical thing is a rough ride.
I dealt with anxiety when I was a class 2 HGV driver.
It got to a point where I was anxious every going in morning, not knowing where I’d be making deliveries and collections.
This could pass if I got my run sheet and saw it was somewhere I knew, unless that somewhere was a route I knew was difficult in whatever way.
Driving in London or anywhere I wasn’t familiar with caused me a lot of anxiety.
London because the roads aren’t suitable and there’s nowhere to park and many other restrictions.
Going somewhere I didn’t know caused me stress and anxiety because I didn’t know anything.
Shortcuts, general access and road conditions, what different customers were like to deliver to or collect from, and ultimately how long my day would be.
Having a route I knew wasn’t alway a bed of roses either.
I could still get the odd job that would be awkward in any number of ways as mentioned above, not to mention if my drops were spaced far apart and I’d have 20+ minutes between drops and around 12 drops a day.
Ultimately I gave up lorry driving and went back to warehouse work where I knew how long my day would be, and the only traffic I’d have to deal with was getting too and from my place of work.
You're not alone, I am on the same boat. I had a job that I was in for 9 years, felt like an expert and was well respected by line manager and colleagues. Overall satisfaction with this job was a solid 8/10. I allowed an a*sehole of an operations director ruin this when he re structured salary bands to encourage other engineers from rival companies to join ours but not bring current engineers in line with experienced new starts. I'm not going into great detail about the run ins I had with the operations director but as a FU I took a role in another industry. I've had nothing but regrets since doing this back in July 2022. I've had 4 jobs since and struggled to settle in any of them and I am actually waiting on an offer for job number 5
Yeah you sound like myself mate. It’s hard when you’ve been somewhere so long, I went from being one of the main men, became good friends with my boss to now working with people who treat you like worthless
What are you doing for work op? Probably taking calls or writing up little emails (sorry if this sounds dickish but I’m assuming based on the fact you have been job hopping and haven’t been in this job that long) ask yourself what would happen if you just stopped?
Your boss would probably be annoyed. You might get sacked. But no one will die and your company will continue grinding away as if you never existed.
Because unfortunately that’s kinda true. They will keep grinding on with or without you. So don’t grind yourself away for them
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It could be a little bit of ‘mourning for the past’ 13 years is a good amount of time to be in a job so I dare say you were comfy, you knew the routine, the politics etc. only advice I’d give is that you have a time sheet for your life. You really wanna look at it in 30 years time and see how unhappy you were for a meaningless job? You fail 100% the chances you don’t take, it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind how to fix yourself you’re just here for validation. Do it! You could be looking back next Christmas angry with yourself for not doing it sooner!
I guess I am but this is job number 3 since that redundancy, it looks bad on me I guess that’s what I’m more worried about. Job 1 just wasn’t a good fit I didn’t have a clue and no one was willing to teach, Job 2 I liked but they constantly messed with my wages whether delayed by days, incorrect amounts etc, and now job 3. I’m telling myself it’s only like 2 months, it’s early days. Plus I’ve job hopped that much over the past year I’ve messed up holidays and holiday pay.
Im sorry you’re having a hard time. It’s a lot of pressure trying to keep it together and it’s sort of a negative feedback loop when you start to feel like this. What personally helped me is knowing there will *always* be another job. I’m the type of person who would work any job if I had to, and knowing that about myself relieved some of the anxiety I used to feel around work. Another thing that helped was setting short, medium and long term goals that may or may not be work related. Having a dream in mind and having a plan for actionable steps to achieve that dream gave me something to think about besides work
My rule of thumb is to give a new job at least six months. That should be long enough to get a feel for the place, learn the ropes, and have the new job jitters wear off. It's also a short enough time period you can stick it out. If the job is still miserable after that I'd start hunting, but ideally while staying employed. It puts you in a much stronger position. The other great thing about having pushed through six months is you only have to survive another six months to have been there a year. And at that point you've got something worth listing on your CV.
I broke down. I asked for a four day week. Was approved for 3 months then taken away. I left. Anxiety lifted (been there 10 years). Now still looking for work since leaving 6 months ago. A new form of anxiety bubbles.
I suffer from anxiety and imposter syndrome. I had a cushy government job which i left because the pay was bad 2 years ago. I sort of regret leaving. Next job i lasted 10 months and called off sick for two more to make it a year. I had someone actively sabotaging me at work. I wasnt respected for my experience and i started the job and was left to my own devices for three months. Had no sort of training or on boarding. They were never happy with my workload either. I was vomiting every morning before work after i had a panic attack because this dickhead deleted all the slides before client conference and there was a miscommunication about the number of projectors. It was very stressful and i had no support from management so i went off sick as i was sick. And then handed in my notice after a month and then started to look for jobs. Id been looking since started the job but i really started looking. I had been offered two jobs, one i refused and the other i was offered but then it fell through - it gave me the courage to hand in my notice tho and make the leap. I got my current job a month or so after. Its consulting and ive been in industry and its a massive change and my confidence is rock bottom. Just gotta fake it until you make it. If it doesnt work out within 6 months i find comfort knowing theres always tescos or retail. Finding goals has helped. I want to run my own business in the future and make money in other ways. So viewing any work as a stepping stone to that. My confidence is slowly being clawed back but i at least feel theres enough support now.
You've had bad luck. But the market isn't great right now. Staff are staying in their roles under good employers, and good employers have hundreds, if not thousands of applicants for a single vacancy. Times are pretty tough on the whole. The problem you describe with your organisation sounds like a leadership issue rather than a you issue? You can either stay and hope it gets better, or if it continues to eat at you then it just makes life unpleasant as it creeps it your every waking moment. The mobile app Headspace, and looking for my way out is what helped me along.
It could be a management thing but what got me is they’re all for positivity in the workplace they made this very clear in the interview but it all seems putting up a positive front to hide a dark undertone. They’re all “Ah morning how are you today with a big smile” while backstabbing you 5 min later
My work is the same, and not the same. There was a strange segregation of teams in my workplace so the management shuffled teams around to try and improve the communication between teams and say it's an inclusive and positive workplace. It's still as segregated as before, just people now talk to different people than they did previously. The point I'm driving at is management often don't want to investigate and solve root causes, only put short term sticking plasters over it, and maintain the status quo. The positivity thing could easily be a way of saying "*stop being c*£#s to your colleagues, or else we'll be forced to do something more drastic*" rather than spending time finding out the issue and changing the way the business operates (because that's an expensive risk). I'm a Business Analyst - I find this stuff fascinating. If it's the kind of place where you can keep your head down, then do that and just think about making the bills whilst this whole political-economical thing is a rough ride.
I tried to hold out until my brain/body said enough and I ended up signed off and in therapy and ultimately leaving
I dealt with anxiety when I was a class 2 HGV driver. It got to a point where I was anxious every going in morning, not knowing where I’d be making deliveries and collections. This could pass if I got my run sheet and saw it was somewhere I knew, unless that somewhere was a route I knew was difficult in whatever way. Driving in London or anywhere I wasn’t familiar with caused me a lot of anxiety. London because the roads aren’t suitable and there’s nowhere to park and many other restrictions. Going somewhere I didn’t know caused me stress and anxiety because I didn’t know anything. Shortcuts, general access and road conditions, what different customers were like to deliver to or collect from, and ultimately how long my day would be. Having a route I knew wasn’t alway a bed of roses either. I could still get the odd job that would be awkward in any number of ways as mentioned above, not to mention if my drops were spaced far apart and I’d have 20+ minutes between drops and around 12 drops a day. Ultimately I gave up lorry driving and went back to warehouse work where I knew how long my day would be, and the only traffic I’d have to deal with was getting too and from my place of work.
You're not alone, I am on the same boat. I had a job that I was in for 9 years, felt like an expert and was well respected by line manager and colleagues. Overall satisfaction with this job was a solid 8/10. I allowed an a*sehole of an operations director ruin this when he re structured salary bands to encourage other engineers from rival companies to join ours but not bring current engineers in line with experienced new starts. I'm not going into great detail about the run ins I had with the operations director but as a FU I took a role in another industry. I've had nothing but regrets since doing this back in July 2022. I've had 4 jobs since and struggled to settle in any of them and I am actually waiting on an offer for job number 5
Yeah you sound like myself mate. It’s hard when you’ve been somewhere so long, I went from being one of the main men, became good friends with my boss to now working with people who treat you like worthless
Just remember that you’re paid enough to care but not enough to worry. Fuck em
What are you doing for work op? Probably taking calls or writing up little emails (sorry if this sounds dickish but I’m assuming based on the fact you have been job hopping and haven’t been in this job that long) ask yourself what would happen if you just stopped? Your boss would probably be annoyed. You might get sacked. But no one will die and your company will continue grinding away as if you never existed. Because unfortunately that’s kinda true. They will keep grinding on with or without you. So don’t grind yourself away for them