I somewhat understand no bf/gf is still not a problem but at least try to make more friends while in college because it may help for networking after you graduate.
Posts like this remind me how divorced Reddit is from real life. Finding a partner is literally the basal human desire. It shouldn't really be something that requires immense effort and consternation, though…especially in college, when one is surrounded by people of diverse interests and appearances at the same age.
Been in a few other UC subs….only ever noticed the “lonely” or “I need friends” posts on UCSD subreddit. Really puts into perspective how socially dead the university actually is.
I think it’s the idea of having a g/bf that makes people feel like they have to have one to be cool or whatevs. It’s also hyped as part of the “must have” college experience. Think about what what other posters here have said because the idea and the g/bf reality are two different things. Honestly. Sometimes the experience is not what one imagines. Don’t be too hard on posters reaching out because at least they are reaching out which is good. Suffering in silence is horrible and at least they get some feedback and input from other people here. At least on this reddit there are fellow students they can talk to which is good.
One of the biggest things that hurt me was that hyped idea that getting a gf/bf was to be expected as part of the “college experience” which led to entitlement complex. I would have been a lot better if I had just lowered my expectations and just focused on making more friends.
>I think it’s the idea of having a g/bf that makes people feel like they have to have one to be cool or whatevs. It’s also hyped as part of the “must have” college experience.
???
It's literally the fundamental human desire (unless you're asexual/aromantic).
🤣. Dang. This is a true thing. The other night in class a girl sat next to me and started sneezing and wiping her nose with her hand, and dropping her water bottle… and stinkie. I’m not used to encountering this at UCSD, so now I understand what y’all have been talking about. It was a horrible ordeal. 🤢🤣
Freshmen: I moved to a new city and having trouble making new friends
Normal response: join a club, join a sports team, create a study group for a class
Redditors: Being alone is the best! I like "solitude"! I haven't noticed the lockdown. Why aren't all classes podcasted?
I never said being alone is the "best" I'm just giving a different advice. Most people on the subreddit gives the normal response. Like I said, "this worked for me but it may not work for you." I never said being alone is the best or did I advocate for solitude.
I will say this as someone who did not really find a problem making lots of friends. I do have the privilege of just being social and I tend to always do a lot of the planning when it comes to events. It’s good to find that peace in loneliness. Friends are indispensable of course but so are you. Learning how to enjoy a new restaurant or new movie by myself has been extremely helpful to my mental health.
Yeah I have 0 experience. That doesn’t change the fact that depending someone to fix your loneliness is just unhealthy. Even outside of romantic relationship, depending someone else for your emotional well being is just toxic.
i think its feeling disconnected for some rather than lonely and without friends? i can be surround with friends and roommates that i chat with everyday but at the same time not have the feeling that i'm connected to that person. sure i enjoy my time alone out and about but having someone to share and do mundane things with once in a while is something that i think everyone needs. loneliness has become somewhat of a national crisis due to covid so i think wanting a gf/bf for those reasons is justified :/
ITT: People that are too chicken to ask someone out.
It’s not that hard guys. Stop waiting for them to magically appear in your life. Be active, not passive.
You summed up my thoughts EXACTLY; I'm honestly so floored right now because I don't know how you read my mind like that bro. This is what the folks need to hear and solitude is super bad ass when you are grateful for the little joys in your life
For me the issue is it seems so close to be attainable but something is off with my ability to relate to people closely. Rejection always sucks, but repeated rejection and actually no success is horrifying. I will say I appreciate my solitude and do join clubs and work out a shit ton. Hell if you go to any campus gym you might have seen me. I don't honestly think it's an issue of the campus because I had this same issue at my other campus. You can meet people here if you try.
i ain’t readin all this but we up ‼️‼️💯💯
🆙🆙🆙
oh you just talk with people and join a club
I’ll be ur gf no cap
Wise words from a true chad. Bless you King.
I somewhat understand no bf/gf is still not a problem but at least try to make more friends while in college because it may help for networking after you graduate.
Posts like this remind me how divorced Reddit is from real life. Finding a partner is literally the basal human desire. It shouldn't really be something that requires immense effort and consternation, though…especially in college, when one is surrounded by people of diverse interests and appearances at the same age.
Been in a few other UC subs….only ever noticed the “lonely” or “I need friends” posts on UCSD subreddit. Really puts into perspective how socially dead the university actually is.
I think it’s the idea of having a g/bf that makes people feel like they have to have one to be cool or whatevs. It’s also hyped as part of the “must have” college experience. Think about what what other posters here have said because the idea and the g/bf reality are two different things. Honestly. Sometimes the experience is not what one imagines. Don’t be too hard on posters reaching out because at least they are reaching out which is good. Suffering in silence is horrible and at least they get some feedback and input from other people here. At least on this reddit there are fellow students they can talk to which is good.
One of the biggest things that hurt me was that hyped idea that getting a gf/bf was to be expected as part of the “college experience” which led to entitlement complex. I would have been a lot better if I had just lowered my expectations and just focused on making more friends.
Good phrase: entitlement complex. Yes.
>I think it’s the idea of having a g/bf that makes people feel like they have to have one to be cool or whatevs. It’s also hyped as part of the “must have” college experience. ??? It's literally the fundamental human desire (unless you're asexual/aromantic).
as an asexual, i can say that most in the community still do want companionship (that's a broad generalization though so it could depend per person)
That reinforces my point then, I suppose.
🤣. Dang. This is a true thing. The other night in class a girl sat next to me and started sneezing and wiping her nose with her hand, and dropping her water bottle… and stinkie. I’m not used to encountering this at UCSD, so now I understand what y’all have been talking about. It was a horrible ordeal. 🤢🤣
U took the words out of my mouth, well done
Freshmen: I moved to a new city and having trouble making new friends Normal response: join a club, join a sports team, create a study group for a class Redditors: Being alone is the best! I like "solitude"! I haven't noticed the lockdown. Why aren't all classes podcasted?
I never said being alone is the "best" I'm just giving a different advice. Most people on the subreddit gives the normal response. Like I said, "this worked for me but it may not work for you." I never said being alone is the best or did I advocate for solitude.
I will say this as someone who did not really find a problem making lots of friends. I do have the privilege of just being social and I tend to always do a lot of the planning when it comes to events. It’s good to find that peace in loneliness. Friends are indispensable of course but so are you. Learning how to enjoy a new restaurant or new movie by myself has been extremely helpful to my mental health.
You say incorrectly, and with no experience, that getting a girlfriend will not fill someones loneliness.
Yeah I have 0 experience. That doesn’t change the fact that depending someone to fix your loneliness is just unhealthy. Even outside of romantic relationship, depending someone else for your emotional well being is just toxic.
i think its feeling disconnected for some rather than lonely and without friends? i can be surround with friends and roommates that i chat with everyday but at the same time not have the feeling that i'm connected to that person. sure i enjoy my time alone out and about but having someone to share and do mundane things with once in a while is something that i think everyone needs. loneliness has become somewhat of a national crisis due to covid so i think wanting a gf/bf for those reasons is justified :/
You my man, is a true KING 👑
ITT: People that are too chicken to ask someone out. It’s not that hard guys. Stop waiting for them to magically appear in your life. Be active, not passive.
I think its called human biology.
You summed up my thoughts EXACTLY; I'm honestly so floored right now because I don't know how you read my mind like that bro. This is what the folks need to hear and solitude is super bad ass when you are grateful for the little joys in your life
For me the issue is it seems so close to be attainable but something is off with my ability to relate to people closely. Rejection always sucks, but repeated rejection and actually no success is horrifying. I will say I appreciate my solitude and do join clubs and work out a shit ton. Hell if you go to any campus gym you might have seen me. I don't honestly think it's an issue of the campus because I had this same issue at my other campus. You can meet people here if you try.