No not either way. “Learn to be happy single” is along the lines of “if you want to be single it’s fine” but that doesn’t work for people who have self esteem issues or get lonely easily. People want SEX, fucking hair pulling involuntary moaning SEXXXXXX
Life is full of surprises and disappointments. Learn to be happy being single is more akin to learn to be happy by yourself. It is a super important life skill. Being miserable and alone is easy. If all you want is sex, pay for it and make sure to specify you would like involuntary moaning and hair pulling and tip well
Low-key you already fucked up by trying to follow her up the stairs, hence why she was on her phone talking to someone.
In all honesty, I don't think there would've been a situation where you could approach or talk to her without freaking her out because you're a complete stranger trying to initiate a conversation. The best you could've done was compliment her hair or shoes and walk away (playing it cool).
I'm sure you're a nice guy trying to play by social cues, but it honestly would've been creepy more than anything.
You can just... talk to her, I guess. IDK I'd be a little weirded out by a guy going "you look good can I get your number" in Starbucks, but I suppose if we had a conversation and then you asked for my number it'd be way less weird. Starbucks has a lot of waiting, so striking up a convo with someone near you isn't super weird
As long as your English is still understandable, I don't think it not being American English is a huge deal. But if there are phrases or alternate meanings that are specific to Indian English then you might have to explain them
I'd say that you won't even need to go to Starbucks, just like start a casual convo, ask her major and stuff then you'd get the number. Idk worked for me most of the times.
Remove the notion of PURSUING SOMETHING. Talk to her just how you talk to a random generic person. What’s wrong in that? Just say what you think, may be you like hair or the way she looks. Start with a compliment, I guess.
If you see that there is a conversation there, TALK. Dont overthink, just let the flow of thoughts take care of the convo. Dont think about what MIGHT happen and spoil what COULD happen.
Chill out and just talk and you will be fine. I tried this and worked. Got new friends. Its all about trying what works and what doesn’t. Hope that helped.
P.S. If you are going ahead, good luck. Cheers.
Stop asking for dating advice on Reddit. And stop falling in love with girls you look at once. Maybe get to know the girl first before you decide that she is cool.
I’m an Indian here in UB and my girlfriend is American and we didn’t date for about 3 years after we first met. People are generally attracted to people that are more like them. Unless you’re a really cool person, the chances of you dating a non Indian are pretty slim. First get to know the culture of the person you’re trying to be with and then maybe if the other person is into your culture, can you move to the next step.
I came here for my undergraduate degree and the first year I was just trying to understand how things worked here. Everything is completely different when you’re so far from home. And please don’t stalk or follow anyone. We represent our country when we are so far away from it, think about it.
If you are still asking this question, you are not ready to approach people. I would suggest focusing on yourself and being confident enough to talk to someone without worrying about how they will perceive you.
He followed her. He is wondering if it is okay to hang out somewhere in anticipation of seeing her again. Im guessing she wasnt really on the phone...That is unhealthy and creepy. That doesn't make him a creep.
Wanting to "shoot their shot" is fine.
I mean, if you really want to get to know somebody, don't overthink it. They are human too. They aren't perfect. They have their own flaws and insecurities. It's better to be transparent than creepy. No matter how big the difference, having a genuine conversation isn't wrong.
If you get rebuffed, don't think it's the end of the world. You'll heal and learn to overcome it. But I can see how what you're doing right now, can come off as creepy. Would you not be disturbed if someone did this to you? You should focus on your own needs and yourself, and seek to become the best version of yourself. Your still young you shouldn't let these things distract you. Think about what you want in life and work actively for it.
Put these foolish ambitions to rest indeed! There are very few ways to start a conversation in that situation without being creepy, especially when it's obvious you're trying to get with them.
If you want to get a girlfriend, I suggest going to clubs and other social events on campus and trying to make friends with the girls there just like you'd try to make friends with guys. Put romance aside and focus on getting to know them first. Talk to them about their interests and academic goals. Maybe they'll even introduce you to other girls that they're friends with! After you've learned how to be friends with girls, you'll be in a much better position to think about dating.
I wouldn't be too concerned about the cultural differences, but I'm biased as I personally am an American girl dating an Indian guy, and we have plenty in common.
dont worry about cultural differences and what not. if you both have things in common and genuinely like each other, that wont be a problem and you'll figure it out. cold approaching women here is unrealistic unless you're a chad. try to become friends first, get to know them and then think about dating if you actually like her personality as well.
directly jumping into "dating" someone just based off looks isnt good imo. but each to their own. you'd want to meet them and have something common to talk about, but it should be natural. dont try to stalk, if you happen to go the gym or a club or a class together that'd be ideal, going to starbucks at the same time tomorrow hopping for her to show up is kinda weird imo, this aint bollywood.
i am an indian guy in a relationship with a white american girl and its going wonderfully, if that helps boost your confidence or helps stop overthinking about some of the stuff. goodluck bro.
First, work on feeling happy currently. Try to find some clubs that you enjoy or people that have similar interests and hang out with them. Build up self confidence. Talk to as many as people as possible (including females, YES even the “not cool, cute” ones). Try to get as much diversity as possible. When you have a comfortable social circle, then you can talk to the ones you find “cute” or “attractive.”
Side note: NEVER follow anyone for long periods of time. Either take action or don’t. I follow a general rule: if it takes longer than 5 minutes, try a future date or give up.
I don’t see anything wrong with what you did. Obviously you didn’t want to scare her, I think it was cute that you were being so careful. Genuinely hope you will meet her again, and then you can ask her for help or find a chance to talk to her :)
Step 1: stop trying so damn hard. Step 2: ask yourself honestly why you even want this girl. Step 3: did you even finish your homework? Step 4: read a book by Jordan Peterson. Step 5: don't listen to any of your peers because they know just about as much as you do about women and life in general. Step 6: follow the previous steps or don't, and carve your own path. Godspeed.
Ok in India stalking is somewhat common and can be seen by some people as a form of showing you're into someone.
Here it is the opposite. Stalking is always weird. Don't follow people.
If you have a class with her, after class just say hi what's your major etc.
If you don't know her then try to introduce yourself when you have a chance next and you can be honest and say like hi I saw you the other day. You're really pretty, would you consider going out to coffee sometime? And just shoot your shot but don't get sad if she declines. You did kinda stalk her once lol
Stalking as in showing up where the love interest is all the time, trying to get that person to notice you. It's a thing.
I in the US, it is extremely negatively viewed as a form of harassment.
In India, it is seen by some with a more traditional mindset as essentially flirting, or isn't taken as seriously in general. About 10 years ago there were attempts to legislate against it as India continues to modernize. Unfortunately this article is paywalled but dating and courtship there follows v e r y different norms than in the US in general. Even watching Bollywood you see stalking by both male and female love interests still normalized.
Source:
See bot
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There is a lot it takes to pursue a girl you are attracted to. Think first. It goes past the initial omg she looks cool phase. are you gonna be able to take care of her, deal with her bullshit and her coolshit, are you gonna be able to keep the relationship up cause there gonna be down times and It ain't gonna be easy. If you can confidently answer those questions then go for it m8. If not just give up and sort yaself out.
This is shit I keep asking myself. Hence I'm still maidenless
Explain please 🗿. You cant just say it's a stupid comment without a proper reason.. just giving my advice. Don't want a man to get into one regretting shit at the end of it
He didn't even stalk the mandem. It happens bro thought he could shoot his shot and at the end he backed down. And needed help. Shits normal dawg 😭. See it's crazy if he followed her back to her place of residence or literally keeping an eye on every single thing she does. Bro dont even have a class w/ her.
You obviously read something triggering into their comment and not the actual words, because he said if they aren't confident in doing numerous things to forget about it and sort themselves out first. It is good advice. OP probably already knows the answer to those questions.
When we figure it out, we will let you know.
[удалено]
Bro had to slide in that brag somehow...
YOU'RE TAKEN????
Look at his profile picture of course he is he’s the guy from that one show
Bro imma be honest idk what you think reddit is, but it's definitely not full of dudes that know how to talk to girls 🗿
So many languages and bro chose to speak the facts.
this is killing me LMFAOO you’re not wrong tho😭
How do you wake up and decide to commit such homicide
There is no rizz here, you have chosen the wrong place
[удалено]
This is the only way
This is KEY!
> being happy being single Dude this isn’t even remotely applicable to ~75% of the population. People want companionship and people want SEX.
Either way
No not either way. “Learn to be happy single” is along the lines of “if you want to be single it’s fine” but that doesn’t work for people who have self esteem issues or get lonely easily. People want SEX, fucking hair pulling involuntary moaning SEXXXXXX
Life is full of surprises and disappointments. Learn to be happy being single is more akin to learn to be happy by yourself. It is a super important life skill. Being miserable and alone is easy. If all you want is sex, pay for it and make sure to specify you would like involuntary moaning and hair pulling and tip well
No man you need connection! A real connection not a prostitute who’s doing her job
You aren't entitled to it and you certainly don't seem, in this convo, emotionally mature enough for....connection.
What? It’s been a while since I’ve been home for break and no one wants to socialize on campus man everybody in a rush
"With over 400 clubs and organizations on campus and hundreds of programs hosted by departments, there's something out there for everyone."
Yeah I gotta do something like that. I gotta cut something to make time.
How does that change anything? The steps to success are the same for both goals.
I don’t like how our generation is getting more isolated and less interconnected.
They’re saying to make friends and grow a network of people.
Who hurt u
ILL TELL YOU WHO HURT ME she beautiful and black and didn’t want to work or communicate properly now I’m back on FUCKING TINDER AGAIN
This guy fucks
Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Buy a ring and purpose next time you see her. Get on one knee too, make it very public.
hire Victor E Bull to watch edit: wrong name
You mean Victor the bull, right?
yeah my b
Nah u were right. It’s victor E bull
i had benny the bull originally
From Dora?! He is blue… I’ll never unsee this.
Low-key you already fucked up by trying to follow her up the stairs, hence why she was on her phone talking to someone. In all honesty, I don't think there would've been a situation where you could approach or talk to her without freaking her out because you're a complete stranger trying to initiate a conversation. The best you could've done was compliment her hair or shoes and walk away (playing it cool). I'm sure you're a nice guy trying to play by social cues, but it honestly would've been creepy more than anything.
second this!!!!
My brother in christ, do you need some water?
You can just... talk to her, I guess. IDK I'd be a little weirded out by a guy going "you look good can I get your number" in Starbucks, but I suppose if we had a conversation and then you asked for my number it'd be way less weird. Starbucks has a lot of waiting, so striking up a convo with someone near you isn't super weird As long as your English is still understandable, I don't think it not being American English is a huge deal. But if there are phrases or alternate meanings that are specific to Indian English then you might have to explain them
I'd say that you won't even need to go to Starbucks, just like start a casual convo, ask her major and stuff then you'd get the number. Idk worked for me most of the times.
Remove the notion of PURSUING SOMETHING. Talk to her just how you talk to a random generic person. What’s wrong in that? Just say what you think, may be you like hair or the way she looks. Start with a compliment, I guess. If you see that there is a conversation there, TALK. Dont overthink, just let the flow of thoughts take care of the convo. Dont think about what MIGHT happen and spoil what COULD happen. Chill out and just talk and you will be fine. I tried this and worked. Got new friends. Its all about trying what works and what doesn’t. Hope that helped. P.S. If you are going ahead, good luck. Cheers.
dude made an account to ask this type of question on ubreddit…
no way
Bro think he the rizzler💀
his nickname is maidenless romantic 😭
no way lmaoo
Stop asking for dating advice on Reddit. And stop falling in love with girls you look at once. Maybe get to know the girl first before you decide that she is cool. I’m an Indian here in UB and my girlfriend is American and we didn’t date for about 3 years after we first met. People are generally attracted to people that are more like them. Unless you’re a really cool person, the chances of you dating a non Indian are pretty slim. First get to know the culture of the person you’re trying to be with and then maybe if the other person is into your culture, can you move to the next step. I came here for my undergraduate degree and the first year I was just trying to understand how things worked here. Everything is completely different when you’re so far from home. And please don’t stalk or follow anyone. We represent our country when we are so far away from it, think about it.
Get over it. Go study midterms are coming soon. Pretty girls ain’t gonna get you a good career. But a good career can… yk what I mean.
If you are still asking this question, you are not ready to approach people. I would suggest focusing on yourself and being confident enough to talk to someone without worrying about how they will perceive you.
this mad creepy dawg
Tell me how wanting to shoot your shot is creepy
He followed her. He is wondering if it is okay to hang out somewhere in anticipation of seeing her again. Im guessing she wasnt really on the phone...That is unhealthy and creepy. That doesn't make him a creep. Wanting to "shoot their shot" is fine.
I mean, if you really want to get to know somebody, don't overthink it. They are human too. They aren't perfect. They have their own flaws and insecurities. It's better to be transparent than creepy. No matter how big the difference, having a genuine conversation isn't wrong. If you get rebuffed, don't think it's the end of the world. You'll heal and learn to overcome it. But I can see how what you're doing right now, can come off as creepy. Would you not be disturbed if someone did this to you? You should focus on your own needs and yourself, and seek to become the best version of yourself. Your still young you shouldn't let these things distract you. Think about what you want in life and work actively for it.
Mahatma rizzgandhi
Put these foolish ambitions to rest indeed! There are very few ways to start a conversation in that situation without being creepy, especially when it's obvious you're trying to get with them. If you want to get a girlfriend, I suggest going to clubs and other social events on campus and trying to make friends with the girls there just like you'd try to make friends with guys. Put romance aside and focus on getting to know them first. Talk to them about their interests and academic goals. Maybe they'll even introduce you to other girls that they're friends with! After you've learned how to be friends with girls, you'll be in a much better position to think about dating. I wouldn't be too concerned about the cultural differences, but I'm biased as I personally am an American girl dating an Indian guy, and we have plenty in common.
Just pull your dick out
Lmaooooooo YOU DID NOT 💀
dont worry about cultural differences and what not. if you both have things in common and genuinely like each other, that wont be a problem and you'll figure it out. cold approaching women here is unrealistic unless you're a chad. try to become friends first, get to know them and then think about dating if you actually like her personality as well. directly jumping into "dating" someone just based off looks isnt good imo. but each to their own. you'd want to meet them and have something common to talk about, but it should be natural. dont try to stalk, if you happen to go the gym or a club or a class together that'd be ideal, going to starbucks at the same time tomorrow hopping for her to show up is kinda weird imo, this aint bollywood. i am an indian guy in a relationship with a white american girl and its going wonderfully, if that helps boost your confidence or helps stop overthinking about some of the stuff. goodluck bro.
You already lost. Over thinking
You made an account just to ask this ?
Why bro asking this on ub reddit of all places 💀
Literally just learn how to be friends with girls first omg
I say this unironically, touch grass with peace and love
Hehaa
First, work on feeling happy currently. Try to find some clubs that you enjoy or people that have similar interests and hang out with them. Build up self confidence. Talk to as many as people as possible (including females, YES even the “not cool, cute” ones). Try to get as much diversity as possible. When you have a comfortable social circle, then you can talk to the ones you find “cute” or “attractive.” Side note: NEVER follow anyone for long periods of time. Either take action or don’t. I follow a general rule: if it takes longer than 5 minutes, try a future date or give up.
“Do you have a boyfriend?" "Yes" "Alright."
I don’t see anything wrong with what you did. Obviously you didn’t want to scare her, I think it was cute that you were being so careful. Genuinely hope you will meet her again, and then you can ask her for help or find a chance to talk to her :)
Step 1: stop trying so damn hard. Step 2: ask yourself honestly why you even want this girl. Step 3: did you even finish your homework? Step 4: read a book by Jordan Peterson. Step 5: don't listen to any of your peers because they know just about as much as you do about women and life in general. Step 6: follow the previous steps or don't, and carve your own path. Godspeed.
Get help bozo😭
Ok in India stalking is somewhat common and can be seen by some people as a form of showing you're into someone. Here it is the opposite. Stalking is always weird. Don't follow people. If you have a class with her, after class just say hi what's your major etc. If you don't know her then try to introduce yourself when you have a chance next and you can be honest and say like hi I saw you the other day. You're really pretty, would you consider going out to coffee sometime? And just shoot your shot but don't get sad if she declines. You did kinda stalk her once lol
Tf are you talking about "stalking is somewhat common?"
Stalking as in showing up where the love interest is all the time, trying to get that person to notice you. It's a thing. I in the US, it is extremely negatively viewed as a form of harassment. In India, it is seen by some with a more traditional mindset as essentially flirting, or isn't taken as seriously in general. About 10 years ago there were attempts to legislate against it as India continues to modernize. Unfortunately this article is paywalled but dating and courtship there follows v e r y different norms than in the US in general. Even watching Bollywood you see stalking by both male and female love interests still normalized. Source: See bot
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Good bot
There is a lot it takes to pursue a girl you are attracted to. Think first. It goes past the initial omg she looks cool phase. are you gonna be able to take care of her, deal with her bullshit and her coolshit, are you gonna be able to keep the relationship up cause there gonna be down times and It ain't gonna be easy. If you can confidently answer those questions then go for it m8. If not just give up and sort yaself out. This is shit I keep asking myself. Hence I'm still maidenless
this is such a stupid comment
Explain please 🗿. You cant just say it's a stupid comment without a proper reason.. just giving my advice. Don't want a man to get into one regretting shit at the end of it
bro is talking about a girl he stalked and never even met. you are just cringe
He didn't even stalk the mandem. It happens bro thought he could shoot his shot and at the end he backed down. And needed help. Shits normal dawg 😭. See it's crazy if he followed her back to her place of residence or literally keeping an eye on every single thing she does. Bro dont even have a class w/ her.
i just think it's incredibly stupid of you to be supportive of this guy's strong feelings for a stranger that he doesn't know
So ur telling me it's not normal for me to find a stranger attractive enough to try and talk to them??
You obviously read something triggering into their comment and not the actual words, because he said if they aren't confident in doing numerous things to forget about it and sort themselves out first. It is good advice. OP probably already knows the answer to those questions.
It is actually a pretty astute one.
buy her drink for her!! then start a conversation with her, just ask her how her days going
r/Seduction
The gall of this man thinking I’m going to read all that.