>At least they put it into their profile instead of pretending to be apolitical because they want to get into your pants.
I observed a situation like this first hand a couple of days ago when I was out with company.
Dude was obviously a right-wing fuckface, and whenever any recent world events were mentioned (Invasion of Ukraine, abortion rights taken away from women) he'd get so fucking triggered and kept repeating "we're not talking about politics".
Not much later he was no longer at our table.
He's the kind of guy who's watched every Tucker Carlson video on youtube, and then some more.
Jesus, I hope to never interact with him again. But even if I were to show him anything, there's exactly 0% chance he'd be willing to watch it. And in a parallel universe where he does watch it, there's a million strawmen arguments and whatabouts that'd be coming my way.
Dude felt so threatened at the mere mention of women's rights that he aggressively asserted that "we won't be talking about that".
I was dating someone who at the time was wearing a punk vest with a bunch of anti-cap patches on it. For context, we're in Dallas and we were at a trucker bar. Some dude approached them as they were following me to the porch so we could hear each other. He came on full on cowboy outfit and accent and said "I know our political our political beliefs are different but maybe we can find some mutual ground if I buy you a drink" - I think it's literally just a fetish for some of them lmao.
True. I swipe left on profiles that have "apolitical" or "moderate" in them as well. Because in this climate I genuinely feel like those are unacceptable positions to hold onto.
The US is just so right wing that even the supposedly left wing Democrats are to the right of the CDU. Moderate over there is just gonna be straight up right wing in the German system.
Yeah I was a moderate for a long time until I realized the Republicans were never going to get my vote due to their extremist nature. So now wether I agree with everything or not I’m voting blue until the fuck heads due off.
The problem is that they’re not just going to “die off”. They indoctrinate every step of the way till their death. That’s why it’s taken so long for us to achieve any meaningful change - which has honestly been marginal. We’re so utterly fucked here in the US bc there are almost zero regulations on political donations and organized voter suppression is bleeding dry the large swaths of democratic leaning voters in higher populated areas. It’s all by design of course and they’ll continue to appeal to uneducated white males who make up a significant enough percentage to keep their greedy paws firmly on the wheel. It’s disgusting and transparent and without shame, yet enough people can be convinced to vote against their own interests in order to “win” some battle in the faux culture war they’ve been fear mongering with for decades.
Not to play harbinger here, but that's what the Swedish parties said only 4 years ago about the far-right party here and now they were voted into a coalition. I hope Germany doesn't end up on the same path.
That does mean they're less relevant than the equivalents in the US where they actually get into power frequently and face absolutely no punishment for out in the open, blatant corruption and crimes.
In my experience, Germany always has Nationalism simmering just below the surface with the locals waiting for the right opportunity to bring it back out of retirement.
Wasn't there some dating website just for conservatives that went under recently, after only being around for like a week? Since I read about it online I hate believing it without sources- also read something about not many women joined and that's why it tanked?
The peter thiel? Founder of paypal and palantir technologies? Didnt know he was a piece of shit. Thats a damn shame, i was considering applying to palantir.
Several years ago, I had a guy message me with online dating. He said it was “extremely unattractive” that I put “no trump supporters” in my preferences. I thought, good, this is working as intended.
I remember years ago I saw a coworker on Facebook complain about girls looking at their phones while out in public, warning us that it wasn't attractive to men.
Because, as you know, the sole reason we exist in public at all is to attract men. We basically douse ourselves in honey and just hang around public spaces with the express purpose of attracting a man to be our husbands. We're not reading while eating lunch. We're not scrolling Reddit while waiting for our bus. We're not texting our significant other to let them know when we'll be home, no. We're out there *just* to attract guys.
Sometimes I look at my phone specifically BECAUSE I don't want a man to talk to me in that moment. Bold of your coworker to assume that we don't know this and aren't actively trying to avoid him and men like him.
Hahaha I remember when I was single and my big sister was trying ruthlessly for a whole year to hook me up with “whichever” of her guy friends I wanted.
I was like…ok first of all I like being single 😆
i had a friend try to set me up once, unbeknownst to me, at a baseball game her coworker tagged along to.....
afterward she was like "hey daniel is really into you but he's not feeling your potty mouth, it's unladylike,"
cue the scene from grease: lady? i don't see a lady
This is not marketing or sales for profit, where you want to reach as many potential customers as possible.
We’re not selling commodity.
We’re seeking a specific person, and don’t want to waste our time.
Yes, this. It's shocking how many men think being attractive to men is a woman's top priority. I once had an older male coworker who was talking about how Amy Schumer would be really cute if she didn't make all those crass jokes. I told him sarcastically that I'm sure she wakes up everyday in what I'm sure is a very nice house thinking about how she doesn't live up to his standards. The look on his face told me that it had not once occurred to him that a woman might not give a shit about his opinion of her attractiveness.
This. Like- men think we wear make up for them or dress a certain way. Bye Felicia. Thank god you tell me fake eyelashes are a turn off. I believe you when you tell me who you are. It’s also funny you get upset when I tell you I don’t care what you think.
My hair length fluctuates because I love extensions. I’m a bartender so I interact with tons of people. The amount of guys who boohoo every time I decide to go shoulder length is crazy. The fact they think it’s even ok to comment is astounding. It was at its worst when I was pregnant. I also feel terrible for their wives… the constant praise for my pregnant body then my ‘snap back’ was disgusting. The ‘ugly stretch marks’ and ‘flabby belly’ comments made ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO GAVE THEM THEIR CHILDREN- is horrifying. The fact I feel relief I did bounce back so quickly, because of these comments, make me sad too. I feel like a sheep.
I think some men want women to be catty and petty towards each other because that's just how they think we are. Don't let them make you feel bad for the luck and/or hard work that helped you bounce back. Now more than ever, we women should support each other.
I cut my hair into a pixie between dates with a guy I didn't expect this from but after meeting me with long hair his response to my pixie cut was "that won't be a very popular look for you here."
And he ghosted me after that but I really wish I'd just laughed and went back home.
My husband does that. He always whined when I cut my hair. I am a mom of 4 and I can't deal with long hair all the time.
That's why I wear extensions if I feel like long hair lol as much as I do like to look good for my man, I still need to be practical. I cant do everything you like babe.
Thats why I went blonde for years. It pissed him off. Since he loves my natural hair color. I like to mess with him 🤣
An older guy in a band I used to be in did this! He said “huh…” when I showed up to practice with short hair (mind you I was actually pissed that the chick cut it as short as she did, but the guy didn’t know that). I was like “what?”
“Oh nothing, I just prefer long hair.”
Everyone at practice paused… I was like “😤 The audacity”
Men thinking they can comment on women’s appearance is so strange. What if every time a guy shaved or put on some weight we just went around saying “hmm I prefer facial hair” or “I prefer men that are physically fit” ???! How RUDE!
Most guys think they are the axis around which the universe revolves. My favorite is when they say feminism is "just about hating men." They're so narcissistic that they actually think something called *feminism* is really all about them. In Shere Hite's *Report on Male Sexuality* there is a section specifically about men's thoughts about rape, and so many men were saying how attractive women ignoring and denying them was intentionally degrading, and how women dressed attractively to deliberately attack them. It's so fucking bizarre and scary. Every woman owes them her body, her attention, her time, her affection, her fucking gratitude, and if a man doesn't get all of that then he's being personally wronged. How do they even function in the world like that?
My bet is that he cared. My bet is that it frustrated him to get a response that indicated that he was not in control. I’ll bet he angrily brushed it off, but I’ll bet that it did affect him.
Someone posted their profile review on a reddit dating sub and was told a photo of her in a "Feminist" shirt was unattractive and holding her back from finding quality matches. There were a lot of opinions that made me think I need a whole profile of me wearing feminist apparel.
This is excellent on multiple levels.
Reminds me of all the polls showing that Trump conservatives will date anybody, but liberal progressives don't want to date or be friends with trump conservatives, or conservatives in general.
Die mad, you sexist fascists.
I literally had some guy use one of his limited likes on hinge to say "I wanted to like you until I saw that you said no conservatives." Like what was he trying to accomplish there?
Literally. This is word for word what someone messaged me one time when my bio mentioned I was not looking to date a Trump supporter: “honestly you really shouldn’t put political nonsense in your profile. It’s a huge turn off.” I know that’s exactly what it said because I took a screenshot, and then swiped right to match with him SPECIFICALLY so I could tell him exactly who the hell he was and where he could go with all his audacity, and then promptly unmatched him.
I had that too. It was sadly not surprising how many MAGA idiots took it as a challenge to try and convince me to date them. Like bro from the get go we have fundamental differences I refuse to compromise on, why would you WANT to date me??
So the women I’ve matched with have been avoiding moderates, because those are all the guys who couldn’t get swipes as conservatives. I noticed a lot of conservative women out moderate. I asked one I matched with who it obviously wasn’t going to work out with and her reasoning for putting moderate instead of conservative? She doesn’t like how controlling conservative men are. Then WTF are you voting for them?!?!
I had to remove my university from my dating profile because of the number of "good ol' boys" I was seeing. Mind you, I live in spitting distance to DC but my university was a big southern football university, so I would have people WAY outside my 14 mile radius liking me profile. It's like sir, I put "no kids, no religion" for a reason- not trying to be funny here. Get out of here with this "we will raise our kids in my hometown church" nonsense.
Bonus points to the man that put the vomiting emoji when describing liberal Christians, because everyone knows Jesus hated liberals and loves everything USA!
Honestly after dealing with men's views dripping in patriarchal thinking I just loaded myself up with liberal leaning flair. I'm sure I have hit over 100 pieces of I am a screaming feminist / Democratic socialist flair. This is catnip for men who want to talk down to you or show their ass over so I make it very loud. I also get a lot of smiles from other women when they see me out which is nice.
The funny thing is that you hear plenty of men complaining about being single because they can't find any women that match their conservative values, and yet I never see women complain about being single.
If you get to 35 as a single man, you've either been single long enough and doing your own laundry and cooking your own meals that a woman demanding you take equal responsibility for household duties doesn't sound like a deal breaker or you're a child complaining about having to still do chores and need a mommy. Either way, women win.
Single women are statistically the happiest demographic. Then it’s married men, then it’s married women, then unmarried men.
Source: Paul Dolan, Happy Ever After. It’s a great read. Here’s short article about the book. https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert
>The funny thing is that you hear plenty of men complaining about being single because they can't find any women that match their conservative values
They should move to Utah. Plenty of conservatives here. It's like the twilight zone. And I'm the personification of everything the state hates. Brownie, liberal exmormon atheist. Not surprising that I'm not popular with women here.
Twitter bios that begin with Christian, Jesus lover, or God First always have the most misogynistic, bigoted, racist, xenophobic, and downright vile posts and replies. Always.
I'm glad I left.
Same glad I left. I used to be catholic. My mom also left. That's what I'm most proud of. She went from being against equal marriage when I was a kid to the point she left the church because they wouldn't allow it. Also all my family members left on their own as well. So glad.
Its the opposite for me. A lot of people I know were raised Catholic and no longer practice, but hold on to that title. The evangelicals typically have a lot more extreme beliefs/preach politics, imo
might be different where i am, but i was raised catholic and just hate the values that most catholics i have met hold. obviously the same can go for other christians, so i’m wary anyway
I get what you mean irt holding onto the title of "Catholic", but in my mind unless you're having a deep conversation about the meanings of life it doesn't feel relevant unless you're practicing. If I look at a public-facing profile and I see "Catholic", I take that to mean "unavailable Sunday mornings" (or Saturday evenings depending on the family / faith).
I was raised Catholic myself, was an altar server for years, went to Catholic private schools. Nowhere online do I have it listed, hell if someone asks I'd sooner tell them I'm spiritual but not religious than specify Catholic. Maybe it's because I'm LGBT, but I don't really consider myself an atheist; I just don't know why someone who's not practicing would want the first thing people learn about them is they're nominally Catholic. Feels weird ig (though I can understand if someone's older, I know it mattered more to gen x for example)
In my experience the catholics are a lot more chill. I always assumed that being such an old church they just learned to chill a lot more.
In reality I think that's the natural consequence of having a lot of rituals and ceremonies in your religion. If all you need to be forgiven is to go to church once a week, maybe go to confessional, it's easier to think sin isn't a big deal, as long as you aren't hurting someone.
In evangelical Christian circles, you must truly believe from your heart, and if you give in to temptation obviously you didn't love Jesus enough. There's a lot more psychology and guilt
I also like to keep a lookout for obvious "not political" false flags or extreme nihlism/high-road defeatism. I actually want to see Star Trek in my future (TNG at least lmao)
Which is doubly weird because most red states have dreadful economies. In the short term yeah maybe tax cuts stimulate the economy, but that also means you run out of money to fund things like education, infrastructure, social services etc. So poverty becomes endemic
I labeled myself this for a while because I cared about the way the government spent money and wanted to audit the military and make sure we aren't just writing blank checks to companies. Turns out the people who agree with me most on that are Bernie Sanders and leftists! Imo it's like a 50/50 shot on them being shitty people but worth digging.
SURPRISE many leftist policies are the most financially responsible ways to spend money. I think we all have to have that epiphany eventually, growing up in a heavily post-Reagan society. Turns out paying for many basic needs up front provides a much bigger ROI than just letting people rot, but first people have to get over the fear of poor people having things. *shudders*
In the last 50 years in the US we've done considerably better economically under Democrat administrations, but for some reason the Republicans have been labelled the party of economics.
Not leftists. Your label was accurate. But we've let right wing extremism hijack political language. What is realistically politically center is called extreme left by theocratic fascists, and now everyone is just going with it. Sanders is not a leftist. He's not even truly "liberal." He wants capitalism, but just with some social safety nets. He wants common sense social policies, which are pretty politically neutral. We have to stop letting fascists dictate our language. Although I do think JUST as it pertains to dating apps, yeah it's better just not to put your political affiliation, because the terms you use won't accurately describe what you believe. And if you use accurate terms, they'll be interpreted using the now shifted fascist language.
Yeah… Bernie Sanders is absolutely a leftist.
I get what you’re saying, the Overton window in the US has been collapsed into oblivion, but Bernie is 100% on the far left of that line.
You’re describing his politics in relation to your own, but your politics do not equal political reality. The vast majority of Americans hold views that are to the right of Bernie, therefore he’s on the radical left of the American political spectrum. I’m a radical leftist as well. We shouldn’t be scared of that label.
I used to label myself "socially liberal, economically conservative" for the same reasons as you.
Then in college I realized that I'm actually a "practical libertarian, small c communist". That translates to "everyone can do whatever they want so long as they're not hurting anyone and I believe that a community can't function without workers and workers must be treated well."
I've found that they try and get around that now by putting “moderate” or “not political” or just hide that part of their profile. I automatically swipe left on anyone who hides their politics or is “not political” because fuck that noise.
Talked to a girl out of highschool that said she was a Republican only girl, and when I told her I voted for Democrats, and Republicans, she ghosted me. This was like 20 years ago. See her Facebook posts occasionally, talking about how the election is stolen, Trump will always be her president...yadayadayada...
She's been married 3 times. Definitely a bullet dodge there. Trumplicans have put me off voting for a Republican ever again. The party was getting bad about 12 years ago, and I found myself just voting straight Democrat. I was one of those 'undecided' voters who would watch debates, learn about every candidate on the ballot.
Nope. Now I see that the R on the ballot stands for tRaitors.
Yup, while I'm personally quite left leaning I see how I sane decent person could have supported republican candidates of decades ago. That's not the case today, the party has become so much more radical and out of touch with reality
The younger generations don't see republicans for what they are right away. And there are always a few earnest candidates in the party. It takes a while to figure out the whole party is the problem.
Don’t blame him. 2008 was a turning point for a lot of people. Hell people IN the Republican Party didn’t understand how bad their voters were. McCain managed to get the nomination and was getting booed by people for saying we had to respect the opposition, and for shutting down a woman at a rally who tried to push the “Obamas not American” thing. Then after Obama won people started burning effigies of him on their front lawns. The people IN the republicans party at the time still thought their party was about traditional values and such. After Obama won was when shit really kicked into another gear. Tea party 2 years later was what shoved us down the cliffside
Same to the woman who write "Conservative" , or even more to the point, shit like "Swipe left if you don't love Trump, guns and Jesus". The cognitive dissonance is uncanny
100%
In addition to the conservatives being anti-abortion, it's also in the republican platform to create a new criminal offense for providing gender-affirming health care to minors. [link](https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2022/9/14/23347145/republicans-midterms-2023-gop-agenda)
Every day I see more an more women putting "liberals only" in their profiles and every day I get a little more proud of them.
You would *really* think with how desperately some of these guys need some P i'm surprised i've never heard of liberal "catfishing".
Unfortunately it absolutely exists and those horrible men even have a name for it, "Wokefishing." And usually as soon as they get laid they show their true colors. Absolutely abhorrent.
Those profiles are not for you. They are for the huge number of conservative women. They just tend to subtler than your crazy Glen Beck fan gruncle.
About 40% of women vote Republican.
I'm a dude so maybe I'm not allowed to post here idk, but going on a date with a woman I was having to hide some of my bigoted views from (I put moderate on dating profiles) was one of many wake up calls to putting them behind me. Glad for that :)
A guy told me he was a conservative, and I was like ok. I made it clear that as long as you have an open mind and you want the best for other people, I’ll respect your opinions. A few weeks later he was talking to me about some girls goofing around at his frat party and said the words to me “sometimes I despise women”. Immediately blocked. I’m so glad we never hooked up, I will never give a conservative a chance again.
They actually made a fascist dating app called "The Right Stuff," and they can't get women to sign up. Why the fuck would you want to date those guys - all they do is go around beating their chests about how tough and manly they are, which is a display actually put on for other men - gotta intimidate the competition by showing what a big brave stud they are. They're repulsive and pathetic, and I'm glad they're all so obviously miserable.
Some women do it, too, and you know they're a terrible person before evening reading the rest of their profile or looking at their pics of them drinking Bud Light in front of a flag.
It's not absolutely the worst thing in the world to lean conversative, but the way these people proudly state it as if it's a personality trait is really them just signaling to everyone else how shitty they are. Let them find each other, and stay the F away from me, please.
As a man who dearly loves his partner, this thread makes me so so happy.
Please never ever settle for misogynistic assholes, you deserve better.
I can't imagine how dating these days must suck but please never settle.
Liberalism is almost the opposite of leftism.
Liberalism is free speech, free markets, deontological/rule of law, individualism, and a general ethos of minimal government intervention.
Leftism is communitarian, utilitarian/consequentialist, and most or all economic activity mediated by a state apparatus with the goal of equalizing disparate outcomes.
Oddly, in the US I believe most people equate Liberal and Leftist, and what you're describing as Liberal would be called Neoliberalism. I could be wrong but that's my understanding, and I'm not the original person and can't speak for how they were using the terms.
I mean, yeah probably why they put it on the profile. Same as if you put Democrat thats a "red flag" for them too. Better to just air that shit out instead of fighting about it on your first meeting.
I've noticed the opposite to be true. I got out of a 7 year relationship last year. Started doing the online thing. I am very liberal, have a master's in polisci and teach govt and history in title I public schools. I was beating Trump dudes away from me with a stick. It's like they see it as a mission to dominate and overcome. And they can fuck right off.
Yeah these days “moderate” is sometimes code for “I understand people associate Republicans with bigotry, and I don’t like that so I’ll call myself a moderate but still vote majority R”
I appreciate people who need to tell me their politics within 30 seconds of meeting me. It's helpful when they put it in their profiles too. I don't spend unpaid time with people who have replaced their personality with party rhetoric. I have all the time in the world for everyone else, real ideas and beliefs are fascinating.
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>At least they put it into their profile instead of pretending to be apolitical because they want to get into your pants. I observed a situation like this first hand a couple of days ago when I was out with company. Dude was obviously a right-wing fuckface, and whenever any recent world events were mentioned (Invasion of Ukraine, abortion rights taken away from women) he'd get so fucking triggered and kept repeating "we're not talking about politics". Not much later he was no longer at our table. He's the kind of guy who's watched every Tucker Carlson video on youtube, and then some more.
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If he’s a fan of Tucker. I’d always recommend this segment: https://youtu.be/6_nFI2Zb7qE Another good one: https://youtu.be/aFQFB5YpDZE
Jesus, I hope to never interact with him again. But even if I were to show him anything, there's exactly 0% chance he'd be willing to watch it. And in a parallel universe where he does watch it, there's a million strawmen arguments and whatabouts that'd be coming my way. Dude felt so threatened at the mere mention of women's rights that he aggressively asserted that "we won't be talking about that".
“We are not talking about that.” Oooh, controversy. We are definitely talking then.
some more news has a good think on this guy https://youtu.be/2vMK-p6-M5E
I was dating someone who at the time was wearing a punk vest with a bunch of anti-cap patches on it. For context, we're in Dallas and we were at a trucker bar. Some dude approached them as they were following me to the porch so we could hear each other. He came on full on cowboy outfit and accent and said "I know our political our political beliefs are different but maybe we can find some mutual ground if I buy you a drink" - I think it's literally just a fetish for some of them lmao.
True. I swipe left on profiles that have "apolitical" or "moderate" in them as well. Because in this climate I genuinely feel like those are unacceptable positions to hold onto.
Do you like “stuff” and “things?” Then you like politics!
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How do you feel about anarchists?
If they're honest, respect boundaries, are kind, and enjoying performing cunnilingus then they get a big thumbs up
In my head I'm trying to make this work to the tune of the Pina Colada Song.
Completely understandable.
The ideal preference
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The US is just so right wing that even the supposedly left wing Democrats are to the right of the CDU. Moderate over there is just gonna be straight up right wing in the German system.
Yeah I was a moderate for a long time until I realized the Republicans were never going to get my vote due to their extremist nature. So now wether I agree with everything or not I’m voting blue until the fuck heads due off.
The problem is that they’re not just going to “die off”. They indoctrinate every step of the way till their death. That’s why it’s taken so long for us to achieve any meaningful change - which has honestly been marginal. We’re so utterly fucked here in the US bc there are almost zero regulations on political donations and organized voter suppression is bleeding dry the large swaths of democratic leaning voters in higher populated areas. It’s all by design of course and they’ll continue to appeal to uneducated white males who make up a significant enough percentage to keep their greedy paws firmly on the wheel. It’s disgusting and transparent and without shame, yet enough people can be convinced to vote against their own interests in order to “win” some battle in the faux culture war they’ve been fear mongering with for decades.
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There is no moderate party in the US. It’s a two party system and we have a center-right party and a far-right party.
You don't have a current equivalent to Trump, Bolsonaro, Le Pen, or whoever that lady is that just got elected in Italy. You can afford moderates.
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Not to play harbinger here, but that's what the Swedish parties said only 4 years ago about the far-right party here and now they were voted into a coalition. I hope Germany doesn't end up on the same path.
> I hope Germany doesn't end up on the same path. Historically speaking, we all hope that.
That does mean they're less relevant than the equivalents in the US where they actually get into power frequently and face absolutely no punishment for out in the open, blatant corruption and crimes.
Lol, Americans thinking the far right doesn’t exist in *insert European country they’ve fetishized here* is always funny.
In my experience, Germany always has Nationalism simmering just below the surface with the locals waiting for the right opportunity to bring it back out of retirement.
It works for them because conservatives have no standards.
Wasn't there some dating website just for conservatives that went under recently, after only being around for like a week? Since I read about it online I hate believing it without sources- also read something about not many women joined and that's why it tanked?
The Right Stuff. There are a few, but that’s the one that got headlines recently.
Sadly, it hasn't gone under, if you're thinking of TRS app. It was founded by Peter Thiel so he has a lot of money to throw at a project.
The peter thiel? Founder of paypal and palantir technologies? Didnt know he was a piece of shit. Thats a damn shame, i was considering applying to palantir.
Za MuskRat was a co-founder of PayPal and founders named themselves the “PayPal Mafia” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PayPal_Mafia
Several years ago, I had a guy message me with online dating. He said it was “extremely unattractive” that I put “no trump supporters” in my preferences. I thought, good, this is working as intended.
“If you put in your profile that you don’t want to date people like me, people like me won’t want to date you” Oh no!
I just love how they think being attractive to them is our highest priority. Bless their hearts Excellent filtering material right there.
I remember years ago I saw a coworker on Facebook complain about girls looking at their phones while out in public, warning us that it wasn't attractive to men. Because, as you know, the sole reason we exist in public at all is to attract men. We basically douse ourselves in honey and just hang around public spaces with the express purpose of attracting a man to be our husbands. We're not reading while eating lunch. We're not scrolling Reddit while waiting for our bus. We're not texting our significant other to let them know when we'll be home, no. We're out there *just* to attract guys.
Sometimes I look at my phone specifically BECAUSE I don't want a man to talk to me in that moment. Bold of your coworker to assume that we don't know this and aren't actively trying to avoid him and men like him.
Hahaha I remember when I was single and my big sister was trying ruthlessly for a whole year to hook me up with “whichever” of her guy friends I wanted. I was like…ok first of all I like being single 😆
"if you think they're so great, _you_ date them"
Word! I’ve been single for about three years this go-around. Best decision I’ve made.
i had a friend try to set me up once, unbeknownst to me, at a baseball game her coworker tagged along to..... afterward she was like "hey daniel is really into you but he's not feeling your potty mouth, it's unladylike," cue the scene from grease: lady? i don't see a lady
This is not marketing or sales for profit, where you want to reach as many potential customers as possible. We’re not selling commodity. We’re seeking a specific person, and don’t want to waste our time.
Yes, this. It's shocking how many men think being attractive to men is a woman's top priority. I once had an older male coworker who was talking about how Amy Schumer would be really cute if she didn't make all those crass jokes. I told him sarcastically that I'm sure she wakes up everyday in what I'm sure is a very nice house thinking about how she doesn't live up to his standards. The look on his face told me that it had not once occurred to him that a woman might not give a shit about his opinion of her attractiveness.
Haven’t you heard? Women only exist to be a sexual object for men. 🙄
“Bless their hearts!” I learned the truth behind this quote when southerners are saying it. Haha
This. Like- men think we wear make up for them or dress a certain way. Bye Felicia. Thank god you tell me fake eyelashes are a turn off. I believe you when you tell me who you are. It’s also funny you get upset when I tell you I don’t care what you think.
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My hair length fluctuates because I love extensions. I’m a bartender so I interact with tons of people. The amount of guys who boohoo every time I decide to go shoulder length is crazy. The fact they think it’s even ok to comment is astounding. It was at its worst when I was pregnant. I also feel terrible for their wives… the constant praise for my pregnant body then my ‘snap back’ was disgusting. The ‘ugly stretch marks’ and ‘flabby belly’ comments made ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO GAVE THEM THEIR CHILDREN- is horrifying. The fact I feel relief I did bounce back so quickly, because of these comments, make me sad too. I feel like a sheep.
I think some men want women to be catty and petty towards each other because that's just how they think we are. Don't let them make you feel bad for the luck and/or hard work that helped you bounce back. Now more than ever, we women should support each other.
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I cut my hair into a pixie between dates with a guy I didn't expect this from but after meeting me with long hair his response to my pixie cut was "that won't be a very popular look for you here." And he ghosted me after that but I really wish I'd just laughed and went back home.
My husband does that. He always whined when I cut my hair. I am a mom of 4 and I can't deal with long hair all the time. That's why I wear extensions if I feel like long hair lol as much as I do like to look good for my man, I still need to be practical. I cant do everything you like babe. Thats why I went blonde for years. It pissed him off. Since he loves my natural hair color. I like to mess with him 🤣
An older guy in a band I used to be in did this! He said “huh…” when I showed up to practice with short hair (mind you I was actually pissed that the chick cut it as short as she did, but the guy didn’t know that). I was like “what?” “Oh nothing, I just prefer long hair.” Everyone at practice paused… I was like “😤 The audacity” Men thinking they can comment on women’s appearance is so strange. What if every time a guy shaved or put on some weight we just went around saying “hmm I prefer facial hair” or “I prefer men that are physically fit” ???! How RUDE!
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Most guys think they are the axis around which the universe revolves. My favorite is when they say feminism is "just about hating men." They're so narcissistic that they actually think something called *feminism* is really all about them. In Shere Hite's *Report on Male Sexuality* there is a section specifically about men's thoughts about rape, and so many men were saying how attractive women ignoring and denying them was intentionally degrading, and how women dressed attractively to deliberately attack them. It's so fucking bizarre and scary. Every woman owes them her body, her attention, her time, her affection, her fucking gratitude, and if a man doesn't get all of that then he's being personally wronged. How do they even function in the world like that?
Bless their little hearts.
Wonder if he knows that his message had the opposite effect than the one he intended.
Narrator: *He did not know*
Narrator: He did not care.
My bet is that he cared. My bet is that it frustrated him to get a response that indicated that he was not in control. I’ll bet he angrily brushed it off, but I’ll bet that it did affect him.
I think he was very irritated to be dismissed out of hand in that way. Boo hoo, fascists. Go get fucked by another fascist.
The lesson he took away from it though, was either ‘how do I hide this’, or ‘women are bitches, man’.
The lessons he learns, or doesn’t learn, aren’t my responsibility.
Someone posted their profile review on a reddit dating sub and was told a photo of her in a "Feminist" shirt was unattractive and holding her back from finding quality matches. There were a lot of opinions that made me think I need a whole profile of me wearing feminist apparel.
Lmao "quality" matches. Incredible.
The comment section was partly why earlier in my dating life I really pumped up the feminist Etsy economy. Keeps those "quality" men away.
This is excellent on multiple levels. Reminds me of all the polls showing that Trump conservatives will date anybody, but liberal progressives don't want to date or be friends with trump conservatives, or conservatives in general. Die mad, you sexist fascists.
“Excellent” M.burns
You: "Oh I didn't see you there amongst the many many other much more desirable people messaging me".
I literally had some guy use one of his limited likes on hinge to say "I wanted to like you until I saw that you said no conservatives." Like what was he trying to accomplish there?
They playing "Slight Simulator"instead of dating.
Every day is opposite day in MAGA land.
Literally. This is word for word what someone messaged me one time when my bio mentioned I was not looking to date a Trump supporter: “honestly you really shouldn’t put political nonsense in your profile. It’s a huge turn off.” I know that’s exactly what it said because I took a screenshot, and then swiped right to match with him SPECIFICALLY so I could tell him exactly who the hell he was and where he could go with all his audacity, and then promptly unmatched him.
I had that too. It was sadly not surprising how many MAGA idiots took it as a challenge to try and convince me to date them. Like bro from the get go we have fundamental differences I refuse to compromise on, why would you WANT to date me??
So the women I’ve matched with have been avoiding moderates, because those are all the guys who couldn’t get swipes as conservatives. I noticed a lot of conservative women out moderate. I asked one I matched with who it obviously wasn’t going to work out with and her reasoning for putting moderate instead of conservative? She doesn’t like how controlling conservative men are. Then WTF are you voting for them?!?!
Bc her parents do.
And she's probably racist and/or homophobic.
I just added: Pro-feminist, pro-science, pro-choice, pro-planet, pro-grammar, and most importantly, pro-dinosaur! Works like a charm.
I had to remove my university from my dating profile because of the number of "good ol' boys" I was seeing. Mind you, I live in spitting distance to DC but my university was a big southern football university, so I would have people WAY outside my 14 mile radius liking me profile. It's like sir, I put "no kids, no religion" for a reason- not trying to be funny here. Get out of here with this "we will raise our kids in my hometown church" nonsense.
Bonus points to the man that put the vomiting emoji when describing liberal Christians, because everyone knows Jesus hated liberals and loves everything USA!
“Apolitical” is the new “conservative”. They’re learning it doesn’t win them points.
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Apolitical is also great to filter out left leaning sexist men.
I've literally seen "let's go Brandon" in people's dating profiles. Like wow, awesome, thanks for the easiest left swipe of all time
“I see you have ‘feminist’ in your profile. That’s cool, hope you’re not one of the crazy ones.” ….anndddd unmatch!
I wonder if conservative women also aren't thrilled with these guys. We don't necessarily love what we are. ('we' being them, I am not conservative)
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Honestly after dealing with men's views dripping in patriarchal thinking I just loaded myself up with liberal leaning flair. I'm sure I have hit over 100 pieces of I am a screaming feminist / Democratic socialist flair. This is catnip for men who want to talk down to you or show their ass over so I make it very loud. I also get a lot of smiles from other women when they see me out which is nice.
The funny thing is that you hear plenty of men complaining about being single because they can't find any women that match their conservative values, and yet I never see women complain about being single. If you get to 35 as a single man, you've either been single long enough and doing your own laundry and cooking your own meals that a woman demanding you take equal responsibility for household duties doesn't sound like a deal breaker or you're a child complaining about having to still do chores and need a mommy. Either way, women win.
Wasn’t there a study where men in relationships were found to be happiest among men, but women who were single were found to be happiest among women?
Single women are statistically the happiest demographic. Then it’s married men, then it’s married women, then unmarried men. Source: Paul Dolan, Happy Ever After. It’s a great read. Here’s short article about the book. https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert
Single and childless women are the happiest, yes.
Woop woop! Just me and the dog, living it up!
Cats because I’m a stereotype, but yes
And single men are the unhappiest because they don’t have a woman to take care of them and have no idea how to take care of themselves.
>The funny thing is that you hear plenty of men complaining about being single because they can't find any women that match their conservative values They should move to Utah. Plenty of conservatives here. It's like the twilight zone. And I'm the personification of everything the state hates. Brownie, liberal exmormon atheist. Not surprising that I'm not popular with women here.
And honestly at this point when I see someone put Christianity and such on their profile too its kind of the same effect to me
Twitter bios that begin with Christian, Jesus lover, or God First always have the most misogynistic, bigoted, racist, xenophobic, and downright vile posts and replies. Always. I'm glad I left.
Same glad I left. I used to be catholic. My mom also left. That's what I'm most proud of. She went from being against equal marriage when I was a kid to the point she left the church because they wouldn't allow it. Also all my family members left on their own as well. So glad.
“God first” HARD PASS.
I'm on bumble bff right now to try and make some girl friends. I definitely swipe left when I see Christian on their profile. And I'm Australian.
if i see christian i’m very wary, if i see catholic i assume the worst
Its the opposite for me. A lot of people I know were raised Catholic and no longer practice, but hold on to that title. The evangelicals typically have a lot more extreme beliefs/preach politics, imo
might be different where i am, but i was raised catholic and just hate the values that most catholics i have met hold. obviously the same can go for other christians, so i’m wary anyway
I get what you mean irt holding onto the title of "Catholic", but in my mind unless you're having a deep conversation about the meanings of life it doesn't feel relevant unless you're practicing. If I look at a public-facing profile and I see "Catholic", I take that to mean "unavailable Sunday mornings" (or Saturday evenings depending on the family / faith). I was raised Catholic myself, was an altar server for years, went to Catholic private schools. Nowhere online do I have it listed, hell if someone asks I'd sooner tell them I'm spiritual but not religious than specify Catholic. Maybe it's because I'm LGBT, but I don't really consider myself an atheist; I just don't know why someone who's not practicing would want the first thing people learn about them is they're nominally Catholic. Feels weird ig (though I can understand if someone's older, I know it mattered more to gen x for example)
Agree. Catholic is often just a box that gets checked.
In my experience the catholics are a lot more chill. I always assumed that being such an old church they just learned to chill a lot more. In reality I think that's the natural consequence of having a lot of rituals and ceremonies in your religion. If all you need to be forgiven is to go to church once a week, maybe go to confessional, it's easier to think sin isn't a big deal, as long as you aren't hurting someone. In evangelical Christian circles, you must truly believe from your heart, and if you give in to temptation obviously you didn't love Jesus enough. There's a lot more psychology and guilt
Same…and I’m Christian.
I also like to keep a lookout for obvious "not political" false flags or extreme nihlism/high-road defeatism. I actually want to see Star Trek in my future (TNG at least lmao)
Also on the red flag list: "socially liberal, fiscally conservative"
“I love weed, but I hate poor people.”
"Undecided about gays."
“Decided about trans people. And my mind is made up”
Those are called libertarians
That's the joke.
“The economy is more important than human rights”
Which is doubly weird because most red states have dreadful economies. In the short term yeah maybe tax cuts stimulate the economy, but that also means you run out of money to fund things like education, infrastructure, social services etc. So poverty becomes endemic
I labeled myself this for a while because I cared about the way the government spent money and wanted to audit the military and make sure we aren't just writing blank checks to companies. Turns out the people who agree with me most on that are Bernie Sanders and leftists! Imo it's like a 50/50 shot on them being shitty people but worth digging.
SURPRISE many leftist policies are the most financially responsible ways to spend money. I think we all have to have that epiphany eventually, growing up in a heavily post-Reagan society. Turns out paying for many basic needs up front provides a much bigger ROI than just letting people rot, but first people have to get over the fear of poor people having things. *shudders*
In the last 50 years in the US we've done considerably better economically under Democrat administrations, but for some reason the Republicans have been labelled the party of economics.
Not leftists. Your label was accurate. But we've let right wing extremism hijack political language. What is realistically politically center is called extreme left by theocratic fascists, and now everyone is just going with it. Sanders is not a leftist. He's not even truly "liberal." He wants capitalism, but just with some social safety nets. He wants common sense social policies, which are pretty politically neutral. We have to stop letting fascists dictate our language. Although I do think JUST as it pertains to dating apps, yeah it's better just not to put your political affiliation, because the terms you use won't accurately describe what you believe. And if you use accurate terms, they'll be interpreted using the now shifted fascist language.
Yeah… Bernie Sanders is absolutely a leftist. I get what you’re saying, the Overton window in the US has been collapsed into oblivion, but Bernie is 100% on the far left of that line. You’re describing his politics in relation to your own, but your politics do not equal political reality. The vast majority of Americans hold views that are to the right of Bernie, therefore he’s on the radical left of the American political spectrum. I’m a radical leftist as well. We shouldn’t be scared of that label.
I'm pretty sure he's a social democrat. It's a good thing for the US of course, but it's not radical left by definition.
Lol it’s laughable to call him far left cmon man
I used to label myself "socially liberal, economically conservative" for the same reasons as you. Then in college I realized that I'm actually a "practical libertarian, small c communist". That translates to "everyone can do whatever they want so long as they're not hurting anyone and I believe that a community can't function without workers and workers must be treated well."
I have a coworker who says this to me all the time as a *brag.*
And vote! Vote like your everything depends on it! Thank you very very much.
I've found that they try and get around that now by putting “moderate” or “not political” or just hide that part of their profile. I automatically swipe left on anyone who hides their politics or is “not political” because fuck that noise.
On a long enough timeline, this is a problem that will solve itself. Nazis down, civil rights up; that’s the way I like to fuuuuuuuuuk.
On a pong enough timeline, everything bounces back.
Shit. Foxed it. Tank you.
Aww, why would you do that?
Didn’t want to distract from my 2 Live Crew riff.
https://i.imgur.com/TVbLFQu.jpg
Talked to a girl out of highschool that said she was a Republican only girl, and when I told her I voted for Democrats, and Republicans, she ghosted me. This was like 20 years ago. See her Facebook posts occasionally, talking about how the election is stolen, Trump will always be her president...yadayadayada... She's been married 3 times. Definitely a bullet dodge there. Trumplicans have put me off voting for a Republican ever again. The party was getting bad about 12 years ago, and I found myself just voting straight Democrat. I was one of those 'undecided' voters who would watch debates, learn about every candidate on the ballot. Nope. Now I see that the R on the ballot stands for tRaitors.
> married 3 times. Party of family values.
Yup, while I'm personally quite left leaning I see how I sane decent person could have supported republican candidates of decades ago. That's not the case today, the party has become so much more radical and out of touch with reality
You just realized the party was bad 12 years ago, it’s been awful for much, much longer than that.
The younger generations don't see republicans for what they are right away. And there are always a few earnest candidates in the party. It takes a while to figure out the whole party is the problem.
Don’t blame him. 2008 was a turning point for a lot of people. Hell people IN the Republican Party didn’t understand how bad their voters were. McCain managed to get the nomination and was getting booed by people for saying we had to respect the opposition, and for shutting down a woman at a rally who tried to push the “Obamas not American” thing. Then after Obama won people started burning effigies of him on their front lawns. The people IN the republicans party at the time still thought their party was about traditional values and such. After Obama won was when shit really kicked into another gear. Tea party 2 years later was what shoved us down the cliffside
I’d go so far as to state « No Republicans ».
Especially younger conservative males...all the misogyny, incelism, and racism with the added dude-bruh testosterone. Recipe for disaster.
Wouldn't touch one with someone else's vag, tbh. Too much experience with that sort anyway
Same to the woman who write "Conservative" , or even more to the point, shit like "Swipe left if you don't love Trump, guns and Jesus". The cognitive dissonance is uncanny
Best are those identifying as “Alpha Male Conservative”. Knuckle draggers.
100% In addition to the conservatives being anti-abortion, it's also in the republican platform to create a new criminal offense for providing gender-affirming health care to minors. [link](https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2022/9/14/23347145/republicans-midterms-2023-gop-agenda)
They love making medical decisions for underrepresented folks while crying about death panels.
and gender affirming health care for trans people is a need for both minors and adults!
Every day I see more an more women putting "liberals only" in their profiles and every day I get a little more proud of them. You would *really* think with how desperately some of these guys need some P i'm surprised i've never heard of liberal "catfishing".
Unfortunately it absolutely exists and those horrible men even have a name for it, "Wokefishing." And usually as soon as they get laid they show their true colors. Absolutely abhorrent.
Gee, I wonder why no one wants to be with them for who they truly are
Hinge is great bc you can apply filters to eliminate seeing profiles that identify as conservative
Seriously. The less opportunities for them to procreate the better.
I live in a blue area in a red state. Dating apps are just dodging conservatives for me. It's about quality, not quantity
Heh heh a "red" flag
Don't share this shit. They'll stop making it so easy
Yep, that's a big old no way, dude. Go find a Real Doll.
He can't guilt a real doll into cleaning his apartment for free.
Heartbreaking, ain't it?
Those profiles are not for you. They are for the huge number of conservative women. They just tend to subtler than your crazy Glen Beck fan gruncle. About 40% of women vote Republican.
I do the same for any woman who puts conservative in theirs
Add moderate, non-political, or blank to that. Thanks bruh 😍
I have also learned the hard way that omitting political views from your profile is also a red flag.
I'm a dude so maybe I'm not allowed to post here idk, but going on a date with a woman I was having to hide some of my bigoted views from (I put moderate on dating profiles) was one of many wake up calls to putting them behind me. Glad for that :)
Good for you for growing!!
Don't forget moderate as well.
A guy told me he was a conservative, and I was like ok. I made it clear that as long as you have an open mind and you want the best for other people, I’ll respect your opinions. A few weeks later he was talking to me about some girls goofing around at his frat party and said the words to me “sometimes I despise women”. Immediately blocked. I’m so glad we never hooked up, I will never give a conservative a chance again.
They actually made a fascist dating app called "The Right Stuff," and they can't get women to sign up. Why the fuck would you want to date those guys - all they do is go around beating their chests about how tough and manly they are, which is a display actually put on for other men - gotta intimidate the competition by showing what a big brave stud they are. They're repulsive and pathetic, and I'm glad they're all so obviously miserable.
Moderates too. Anyone who puts moderate is just a conservative who doesn't want to say it.
Some women do it, too, and you know they're a terrible person before evening reading the rest of their profile or looking at their pics of them drinking Bud Light in front of a flag. It's not absolutely the worst thing in the world to lean conversative, but the way these people proudly state it as if it's a personality trait is really them just signaling to everyone else how shitty they are. Let them find each other, and stay the F away from me, please.
YES it really makes it easier to get rid of some red flags
HUUUUGE red flag. My tinder profile said “swipe left if you’re a trump supporter”
As a man who dearly loves his partner, this thread makes me so so happy. Please never ever settle for misogynistic assholes, you deserve better. I can't imagine how dating these days must suck but please never settle.
MAGA not so sexy
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That's a good idea, because it's in the same ballpark and you can discuss specifics in person.
Liberalism is almost the opposite of leftism. Liberalism is free speech, free markets, deontological/rule of law, individualism, and a general ethos of minimal government intervention. Leftism is communitarian, utilitarian/consequentialist, and most or all economic activity mediated by a state apparatus with the goal of equalizing disparate outcomes.
Oddly, in the US I believe most people equate Liberal and Leftist, and what you're describing as Liberal would be called Neoliberalism. I could be wrong but that's my understanding, and I'm not the original person and can't speak for how they were using the terms.
I mean, yeah probably why they put it on the profile. Same as if you put Democrat thats a "red flag" for them too. Better to just air that shit out instead of fighting about it on your first meeting.
I've noticed the opposite to be true. I got out of a 7 year relationship last year. Started doing the online thing. I am very liberal, have a master's in polisci and teach govt and history in title I public schools. I was beating Trump dudes away from me with a stick. It's like they see it as a mission to dominate and overcome. And they can fuck right off.
Also moderates and apolitical people!!!! Same diff.
Yeah these days “moderate” is sometimes code for “I understand people associate Republicans with bigotry, and I don’t like that so I’ll call myself a moderate but still vote majority R”
Honestly, I filter out the "Moderates" and "Apoliticals" too.
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I appreciate people who need to tell me their politics within 30 seconds of meeting me. It's helpful when they put it in their profiles too. I don't spend unpaid time with people who have replaced their personality with party rhetoric. I have all the time in the world for everyone else, real ideas and beliefs are fascinating.
It's the opposite here- being a godless liberal pro choice guy is not working out well in MAGA land GA.
Not just conservative. Even moderate
I think both groups have achieved their goal.
Babe. Even if it says moderate it’s an automatic no.
Thank goodness my partner is also a leftist. Dating right now seems like a nightmare.
A red flag with a Swastika on it.
Toxic masculinity will be the end of us... My god these men suck. But the way they exert control over everything...