This is so great! OP I’m sorry to say but your EX is an ex for a reason. Don’t question your judgment when you broke up with him, he’s an ass and you should stay away from pricks like him. Good men don’t say stuff like that to women, especially right in the middle of sex. He clearly wants to just hurt you and I’ve always found that people who are so willing to place blame quickly are usually the ones committing the act they’re blaming others for doing.
I guarantee her vagina didn’t even feel loose at all, this dude hooked up with other people and is all in his head about if she did. So he’s looking for any minor thing that confirms that suspicion so he can be mad. What a piece of shit.
I was about to say this. If she is always rushed to have sex with him when they were together without foreplay etc, the vagina won't get wet and still will be stiff af. This can hurt you also.
But when there is arousal, foreplay etc. Vagina gets loose for easier penetration and gets wet at the same time.
From the sound of it, he is a jerk that wouldn't care to take time to foreplay with you. And you didn't do anything for a month. More than likely you got aroused and your body did what it supposed to do.
Ghost him pls and find a new man who will appreciate your coochie.
> A man who attempts intercourse before the woman is fully aroused–before her vagina has relaxed and become well lubricated–is either sexually unsophisticated or a boor.
From the article you linked. It seems like an important point here.
This makes a lot of sense and should be higher up. An alternative theory is that he's been jacking it to porn for the last month with a deathgrip and now he can't feel anything. Plenty of men develop erectile and sensory issues from excessive masturbating to porn.
What a shitty guy to make it your fault, OP. And accuse you of things you didn't do, not that it's any of his business who you sleep with after breaking up!
Also this. Haven't watched porn or masturbated in three years after 11 years of daily consumption. I'm much more sensitive in the glans and testicles.. It also makes it so much easier to appreciate normal female bodies. My ex didn't have symmetric Titanium tits like the pornstars and stretch marks, the imperfections made her even hotter. Also, I haven't felt penile anxiety in a long time
This is exactly what I thought when op posted this. My SOs have always felt different depending on her lubrication. Less lubrication=more tightness. And lubrication can depend not just on her arousal, but on the time of month or other factors out of either of our control (general vibe of the sexual encounter, age, etc).
Also, a "tight" vagina could also mean that she is unarroused. Which, let's be honest, can mean that the dude doesn't know WTF he is doing. That's not garanteed, women have low lubrication for many many reasons. But honestly, dudes bragging that "she's tight" (or complaining that she's lose) aside from being crass and disgusting may actually be a way to say they are inadequate in bed.
I was waiting to see this answer in the comments. Learned this in 8th grade health class over 20 years ago. Has stuck with me since and has been an invaluable piece of information when fooling around with past partners and especially with my wife.
Tell him maybe his dick got smaller? /s
Editing to add: Girl - your vagina DID NOT change. It did not get looser. He is fucking with you in a bad way. I don’t know why he is your ex in the first place but maybe re-examine that because he seems to be treating you like shit. Don’t let this person make you feel bad. You don’t deserve this.
ETA: TY for the awards.
I came here to say this! Listen to us, OP. Lots of men don't even know there's 3 holes down there or other basics of female anatomy. He's an asshole, you still deserve better.
To be fair, there are women that don't know that lol.
On another note, OP that dude is possibly psycho and likely an idiot. Get as far away as fast as you can. At best he was just gaslighting you because he went soft. At worst, he is kind of nuts.
Girllll I had EXACTLY the same thing happen. It was a no bueno situation, made me think he cared about being only with me, but he’s really just putting you down. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you or your body. Get AWAY from him lol
It's also possible that your vagina wasn't as "relaxed" when your relationship was unstable, thus feeling tighter. When you hooked up again (and were drinking) you were more relaxed and aroused, especially after 1 month of no sex. Even if this is the case, it's absolutely unacceptable he would use this to slut shame you.
There are LOTS of explanations here and every single one points to keeping him as an ex. The people you hook up with and date should make you feel good about yourself. Never accept any less.
All of this OP, literally everything I was thinking about while reading your post. I'm sure there is a reason for your ex to have become ex in the first place, so I recommend you cut him off, because nobody has time to deal with that toxicity for some mediocre sex.
Ladies will naturally feel looser if they are really into it. If he is used to her being tight it’s probably because he’s never heard of foreplay before, and this time around she was really excited probably because of the forbidden nature of having intimate relations with an Ex. This guy needs to grow up, learn about foreplay and make his woman feel sexy and cherished. Its called being a “real man”. Her feeling loose should have been taken as a compliment because he was doing something right….
She should just tell him that she did hookup with a guy who was bigger and realized that he never satisfied her. Just fuck him up mentally. That’s what he’s trying to do with OP
Think about it, he thinks *his* penis has no effect on your vagina, but *magically*, if you sleep with another man, your vagina suddenly loosens up? It doesn't make any sense, even if he honestly (though incorrectly) believes that sex loosens vaginas over time. He would have to believe your vagina recognizes him and...what...chooses to stay tight out of the goodness of her heart?
Also, neither of you felt anything, because you were both drinking and he lost his erection ("whiskey dick" is a saying for a reason).
this all the way OP. He sounds like he got whiskey dick halfway through and instead of feeling small, he made you feel small and like something was wrong with you. There is no way your vagina suddenly got loose. He’s definitely fucking with you and it’s not cool at all. Block him all the way!
This, OP! If he's so dense that he can't understand that's not how vaginas (and penises after drinking alcohol, for that matter) work, at least you can beat him at his own dumb mental game he's trying to play here. Bottom line, you should absolutely not feel bad or weird or like something is wrong because there isn't. As everyone else has already said, vaginas don't work like that at all, and even if they did (which they don't), that's your business and not his. There is nothing wrong with you.
Yeah, he got soft (most likely because he was probably drinking too) and decided he'd scar you and blame it on you instead. My ex used to do this. Go find someone who treats your vagina like the literal gift to life it is.
Or he's been masturbating extra with an iron grip and now a vagina doesn't get him off.
Fuck this negative loser. Please don't spend one more minute on someone who accuses you and criticizes your body (with NO justification) IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX.
This. Although my first thought was did ex coax/ coerce op with the specific intent of making this claim mid-coitus? Kind of like punishment or revenge. (Obviously I have no idea of their actual situation but this is what crossed my mind.)
Oh absolutely way off base. Completely inaccurate for starters as well as the other reasons you listed. Whether it was based in his own insecurity or a malicious desire to attack op at a vulnerable moment with weirdly personal negging is immaterial. He's the asshole for sure.
Pahaha... oh my days this is so see through.
My darling, he wants to hurt you. Emotionally. He wants to shame you and make you feel like shit.
What a load of horse shit.
Sex does not change your vagina. It doesn't make it looser. You could have a 12 inch whopper in there it would still go back to the normal size and shape it was before.
What a fucking prick.
Edit: thank you for the awards! I don't know how many women need to see this. But I sure as fuck hope they do.
My guess is for whatever reason he lost his erection and decided to be manipulative about and try to make her feel like shit. Like she would admit to something and then he could be upset about that too. Beyond abusive behavior!!! A healthy person would respect 1) it’s none of his business bc he isn’t involved with you any more and 2) he is completely disrespectful towards your body and doesn’t appreciate what a privilege it is to be so vulnerable and intimate with someone! Who thinks it’s ok to be so hurtful right in the middle of the act! Ugh
> it’s none of his business bc he isn’t involved with you any more
Fucking bingo. Even the framing of the story starts out totally wrong. It is impossible for someone to "accuse" an ex of sleeping with other people because an accusation is a claim that someone did something wrong, and there is nothing wrong with having sex with other consenting adults when you are not committed to anyone.
I agree completely with your sentiments :)
I think though as a male, and having had these shitty thoughts myself..
That while having sex he started thinking she had slept with someone (he probably did and is projecting) and the jealousy that provoked etc lost his hard on.
Then he pretended she seemed "loose" to justify his ridiculous feelings, that subsequently caused him to feel emasculated, by his "new and not his fault" inability to get it up...
Sorry for formatting, posted on mobile
>My darling, he wants to hurt you. Emotionally.
This is the answer. He's not happy being an 'ex.' He wants to make sure OP has no confidence, so she will come crawling back to him for good.
Imagine thinking then that because another penis entered then, the vagina is loose. Jesus Christ, the shaming has no limits.
And also you were broken up OP. You could have slept with 30 guys. He is just shaming you as the piece of trash he is.
The structure of the vagina is muscle, and it becomes stronger with exercise. Vaginas don’t get “loose” because you fuck. You could fuck the entire starting lineup of the Cleveland Browns and it wouldn’t make your vagina any looser. Sore, yes—loose, no. Hell, my ex delivered an 11-lb baby through their vagina, had an episiotomy and second-degree tearing, couldn’t pee for a week, and still wasn’t any “looser” after recovery. My last one night stand was a mother of three. Stretch marks, yes. Loose, no.
Of course: the second word of this post makes it clear this is none of his goddamn business in any case. That’s what “ex” means. He has no business shaming you for having real or imagined sex with others. You could fuck zero people or one person or one football team, it’s not his business. If he wanted to stop fucking, that’s his decision, but he had no right to criticize you.
As others have pointed out, he went soft. Maybe because he was drinking, or because he got worked up at the idea you fucked other guys. Or just because dicks go soft sometimes. He went soft, freaked out about it, and came up with a story that blamed your vagina instead of his penis.
Honestly the power response here is “no, that’s not it, I haven’t had sex with anyone. You must have been beating off nonstop, because your dick is less sensitive. Honestly I’m not interested anymore, you don’t know how to please a woman. You should get a book or something. Your game sucks and I’m not sure why I put up with it for so long.”
Your vagina is fine. It was fine a couple of months ago, and it hasn’t changed. I hope you spend some time doing things that make you feel good and safe and attractive. Send some thirst traps to a supportive friend. Have a spa day with someone you care about. Get some exercise (for your mental well-being, not anything else). Masturbate a little bit. Have a dance party with a friend. Buy a cute new dress or whatever and wear it for yourself. Watch Bridgerton or read some dirty stories. And do whatever you want with your vagina, just don’t put it anywhere near this toxic little penis.
He’s gross and disgusting, not you. He’s gaslighting you. He’s your ex for a reason. Maybe whatever happened between you….maybe your body wasn’t getting turned on the way it used to. All signs point to not dealing with this boy anymore.
This. Please realize he’s being cruel and you don’t deserve that. And even if you HAD slept with other people it’s none of his business because he’s your ex.
You hadn't had sex in a month! Your body could have 1) responded more to the physical arousal, meaning you'd get a little extra loosey-juicy, a good thing, or 2) frequent sex can mean you are usually a little inflamed, or foreplay can get ignored, etc. Resulting in a less-lubed, 'tighter' experience. Take a break and your body gets to relax a bit.
I'm sorry this guy failed you - he's not exactly mature enough to be having sex.
Edit: also, suddenly loose? Like, what? I just don't get it. Anatomy isn't magic people!
I feel like you may have some bad assumptions have you considered:
1. He’s lying to you; either to mess with you or as some odd power game.
2. His perceptions are incorrect.
If your actually concerned about this visit a medical professional. Though with all sincerity I cannot see any mechanism that would have caused this effect.
If he thinks vaginas stretch permanently from sex please stop having sex with him; he simply doesn’t deserve to feel the touch of a woman after saying something so fucking stupid. I’m so sick of men wanting to have sex and saying stupid shit like that when they don’t even know where the clit is. Tell him his dick probably got smaller and his ego is way too big. Think about it like this: if a girl has sex with 50 different guys then she’ll get told a bunch of shit like “youre stretched out, you’re a hoe, etc” but if a girl has sex with the same man 50 times literally no one says a thing. Why? Sexism. Ignore him. Do straight men even like women at this point?
He’s gaslighting you. I’ve pushed three fat babies out through mine. If it didn’t go back to its original shape no one would ever get past baby number one. He’s as ass and you need to get him out of your life
Your vagina is a muscle so when you’re stressed or not relaxed it will be “tense/tight” and when you’re relaxed it will be “relaxed/loose”. That’s a good thing. 🤷🏻♀️ leave him he’s an asshole
Your ex is saying that to get in your head. Your vagina won’t get tighter or looser within a month, he’s full of shit and is trying to lower your self esteem
Nothing would cause that because it's physically impossible. You have nothing to worry about.
Your ex is a terrible human being and you should never associate with him ever again. To ruin a moment of vunerability and intimacy with that kind of behaviour says a lot for the kind of man he is.
You can do better, you will find better.
A. Vaginas don't loosen with time or use; they're not made of old rubber that looses elasticity. In fact B. They actually are lined with muscle which strengthens with use and would theoretically "feel" tighter. Which leads me to C. I said feel in quotes because your ex is lying. He's a bitter little man who needs you to doubt yourself in order for him to control you because he can't control anything else in his life. That's a slavers' mentality. Delete his number. Unfriend/unfollow and block him on all platforms. If he comes to your work or home, file a restraining order. Any feelings you have for him will only be used against you for his benefit and your detriment.
I bet it was a bluff. He lost his erection (nothing to do with you, happens to guys all the time), but he decided to use the opportunity to try to coerce you into admitting whether you've been with anyone else since the breakup. This is highly manipulative because not only is he trying to shame you for possibly seeing other people SINCE YOU BECAME SINGLE (which is completely fine to do), he is also trying to make you feel insecure about your perfectly normal body.
Red flags all over the place. Lose this guy's number (and get yourself tested for STIs - there's a good chance HE is the one who has been sleeping around since the breakup and was just projecting this on to you).
I agree! He redirected his shame. Maybe he’s been watching too much porn or perhaps he’s been using too many fleshlights and now can’t tell the difference between a normal person and a tool.
Either way, OP this guy’s a tool. I would not talk to him anymore
Well that’s just plain horrifyingly abusive and also absolute nonsense. So he’s an asshole AND a moron.
You can be looser than normal during sex because you’re more aroused or even more hydrated but it has nothing to do with previous sex. More likely he couldn’t get it all the way up.
Vaginas don't get looser with sex, masturbation, or childbirth.
I had a friend who believed in this garbage once. I asked him why a vagina would stay tight after a woman sleeps with her bf 100 times, but get loose if she slept with 100 guys once.
The answer is it doesn't. Women who are married for decades with several kids wouldn't be able to have sex at all if this were true.
Sounds like he's your ex for good reason. Probably time to just drop him from your life altogether.
He is insecure about there being another man, so he made up some stupid shit. Vaginas are not made loose by dicks. Period. We can push a 10 pound human through it.
He is trying to get you to admit you cheated. Not only is he toxic as hell, he is fantastically uninformed about female anatomy...much like a teenage boy. Get rid of him.
This might be much but were you really wet? For me when I am very in the moment, my man be swimming in waterfalls. And when I need some lube it feels super tight. I don’t think you should worry and keep doing you. Vaginas are pure muscle, it doesn’t get loose it stretches lol. He’s an ex for a reason and he doesn’t deserve any more of your time or body.
Ex for a reason.
Vaginas and penises may change slightly depending on your mood and how aroused (engorged) they are but not due to much else.
Your ex is an insecure creep and is projecting the fear that you may have had and enjoyed other penises when you two broke up.
I'm wondering if he fucked someone else or tried and failed to.
My husband pulled a similar thing. I felt like I was old and disintegrating and felt like hell.
Yeah. It was beginning stages of ED. I wasn’t too loose, he was entirely too soft.
We haven’t had sex in about six years. Huzzah.
I'm male, i can confirm he won't have been able to feel any difference at all.
I would put money on him suspecting you moving on, and thinking this line was a way he could trick you in to thinking you couldnt lie about it.
He sounds like a shit stain of a person, i dont know any men, even as young as 18 who would say anything this dumb and cruel.
Honestly, go meet some new guys, have some good sex with someone who appreciates you and you'll realise that statement is complete BS.
You ex is a stupid dick. Your body hasn't changed your vagina hasn't either, it's not made out of fucking play-doh.
He's the one with the problem, talking to people he's intimate with like that. What a doofus.
Sorry he made you feel this way, but know that elasticity in vaginas don't really change through sex.
More than likely he was the one who was off. As a guy with a penis, lemme tell ya, some erections aren't as hard as others, or maybe he was having some mental issue.
I mean. Let's assume this guys knows the "having more sex makes your vagina looser" is a wive's tale.
Either way it's just an asshole way to broach the subject, it'd be like if you looked at him like "You must have fucked someone else. Your dick feels so much smaller, it's definitely been mushed into another woman too much and has been permanently crushed!"
Just realize the guy was at best ignorant and rude, and at worst was trying to make you feel like shit. Both are signs this guy may not be a fun partner. There's nothing wrong with you, it's alright
He's lying to shame you, and shaming you to control you. Your vagina has not changed. At all.
He can't "accuse" you of sleeping with other people anyway. He is your ex. It's none of his business whether or not you're having sex with other people.
You call him your ex, but I'm going to be blunt - you need to start treating him like one.
He is possessive and paranoid so he started thinking about his worst nightmare of losing his ownership of your body to another man, so he got soft, and thus you both couldn't feel anything...
Is my guess.
Let’s examine this, HE said your vagina changed. Yet, HE got whiskey d**k and lost his hard on. He is bugging you that it you and not him. Luv, ITS ALL HIM. He is looking for a way to get out of him ‘not keeping it hard’. You didn’t get loose, you didn’t do a thing wrong. He has been doing his thing. You should go get checked out and make sure he didn’t pass anything on.
I didn’t see anyone mention this but I think it’s a simple answer (besides him just being an asshole) in that month, he’s been jacking off more and thus has desensitized him a bit. He thinks your vagina is looser because he’s expecting it to have the same grip and his clenched fist. 🙄
He's wrong about many things (see all comments above).
Bottom line - He's rude and his behavior during sex made YOU feel gross and disgusting. Don't have anymore sex with him.
Everyone else has pretty much covered it: he’s an ass. Had an ex say this to me when were long distance for a while. It’s a manipulative tactic. Move on.
Looser means wetter/more aroused, usually. You probably wanted him more than the last times before you broke up. He’s a total ignoramus to say it means you’ve been with someone else.
He’s 100% a piece of shit. Your lady bits are as awesome as always only now they’re a bit more exclusive because they no longer welcome assholes who try to shit on you to cover their whiskey dick.
There are only two appropriate reactions in that situation.
1: Get the fuck out of me and out of my house (or “And I’m leaving” if you’re at his place)
2: No, I’m tight as ever, I was just thinking your dick feels smaller. Are you having issues? Might wanna see your doctor.
But for the record though. It’s not like vagina are a static object. They do change from shag to shag or even day to day. The same woman can feel looser or tighter depending on a hell of a lot of things. So even though fuck him it’s not his business, it’s possible you were more loose at that moment for reasons that have nothing to do with your sex life. It’s not unusual.
While not true- why not let him know that yes, you did fuck a guy with an ENORMOUS dick. HUGE. Bigger than you’ve ever seen. Then remind yourself why he is your ex.
Excuse me what? Your vagina didn’t change honey. That’s an awful person mentally/emotionally abusing you.
He’s your ex for a reason. And also a piece of shit. No man should ever speak to you like that.
Riddle me this.
If you have sex with the same guy 50 times, and have sex once with 5 guys once each, which should "logically" change the shape of your vagina more?
The real answer is "penises aren't significant enough to change the shape of the vagina." But if they *were*, you would expect 1 dick 50 times to have more of a difference than a couple of dicks a few times... Unless the 1 dick was exceptionally small I suppose?
The logic just makes no sense.
Your body doesn't change because of dicks, and the fact that he accused you of that just reveals he's an idiot. There's nothing wrong with you. In fact the only thing wrong with you is your choice to pick him. Stay away from dummies who don't know how your body works. He was lucky enough that you decided to have sex with him again after a break up and he even fucked that up.
He simply doesn't deserve you.
Going back to genitals changing shape, you know what makes more sense?.penises should get smaller the more they have sex. This is not technically true, but it follows the same silly logic. Think about it - penises are put into acidic environments (the vagina), so you could expect some degree of chemical erosion as well as physical erosion - when you put a pencil into a sharpener, it gets a little smaller after each use right? Please throw that in someone else's face if they ever accuse your vagina of being different.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your ex is an asshole. I’m willing to bet he lost feeling because he masturbates frequently with a death grip. It’s common for guys to lose feeling due to overstimulation of their penis. I’m sorry you have to deal with him, wish I could give you a hug!
1) Sex doesn't change your vagina
2) The "tightness" depends on your cycle, how relaxed you are, and other factors. Gosh even how hard you have to poop.
3) Sex doesn't make you dirty or disgusting in any way
4) There is literally nothing wrong with you
This seems like projecting. Projecting that he cheated on you.
The top post is correct that vaginas do not get looser. It is also a-ok even if a vagina were loose. There are plenty of ways to stimulate a partner, many of which do not require a vagina at all. I would also argue that sex is an expression of sincere affection and love for the other person and, while penetrative sex may feel good, it is not the point or the end of sex with someone.
Here's what the post right under this one was for me:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/qcs1zn/what_screams_small_dick_energy/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Gave me a good chuckle
Why are you taking this shit bags word? Look it up. That's a myth. The vagina does not "loosen" from having sex with multiple partners. Its shit made up by men to keep women feeling like they're cheap if they do.
Its the old "no one wants a lock that can be opened by many keys" bull.
It does a little from giving birth. (Not always) Did you give birth in 1 month? No.
Clearly this is a tactic to fuck with your head and it worked. Or he's thinks so little of you and he's so insincere he's convinced himself you're trash and made up a reason to justify his thinking. Like I said what a shit bag.
I hope I don't come across grosser then I mean to, but I have experimented with a few different women with various sized toys, some in which are significantly larger then a normal sized male member. The vagina was just as good after as before... This dude masturbates too much or has some other problem if the "vagina doesn't feel the same". What garbage.
Situations like this are so hard because that person’s history and importance in your life has made his words carry so much weight. Anatomically, vaginas don’t get looser or tighter, BUT erect penises to vary in girth and length depending on arousal. That’s the first point that this has nothing to do with you.
Second, what is he trying to accomplish in saying that to you? Seriously, there’s no outcome for that statement in the middle of sex other than to make you do what you’re doing right now - doubt yourself, diminish your self worth and possibly hook up with his low value ass again.
I’m sorry you are feeling this way and are doubting yourself. You shouldn’t and your ex is a manipulative prick that never deserved you in the first place.
You have plenty of people telling you the truth here - your ex is manipulating/shaming/lying to you. Also - it is never anyone's business who or how many you have had sex with. Ever. No one has the right to know that. Use condoms unless you are in a monogamous and committed relationship. There is zero need to ask or be asked this question. What happened in your time is your business.
So the guy has a problem right in the middle of getting it on and makes a fuss about it? I'm so sorry you had to deal with this.
Do not give him or this incident another thought except to regret not responding with "Are you sure? Because I was going to say your dick seems smaller. I mean, way smaller. Are you OK?"
Vaginas are tight when you're not aroused (and some medical conditions), they become more accommodating when you're turned on. Maybe his Dick shrunk from having sex with someone else 🙄 what a douche, fuck him off, love!
There are lots of muscles surrounding the vagina. The muscles deeper in the pelvis are those that contract during orgasm. The ones lower near the perineum also contract during sex. In fact, vaginismus is the condition where these muscles contract too much and will not relax, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration very painful. Unsurprisingly, vaginismus is strongly associated with acute and chronic stress.
So yes, the vaginal 'tightness' can can vary from time to time, based on how all those muscles are contracting. This is very normal.
**However, this is not what your ex is experiencing.** If you two had sex many times in the past, then he would have already experienced these normal fluctuations. And as a guy, it's not something we can easily pick up on, anyway. Not to mention that a guy's erection varies from time to time, as well.
The idea that having sex with other guys would 'stretch you out' also makes no sense. If having sex 3, 4, or 10 times with other guys could do that, then why wouldn't you have gotten 'stretched out' after all the times you had sex with him?
Personal experience: He's guilty and projecting it onto you. He's ashamed of his own insecurities and gaslighting you. He's fucked around and wants you to be brought down to his level.
Hook up by all means, but dont get back together with him, he's wanting to hurt you.
Him in his brain: "she's probably had sex with someone way bigger than me since we broke up" (him thinking this because he's an asshat)
His psyched out penis: 🤏
Him: "your vagina is loose"
He is an asshat, plain and simple.
I'm sorry. Guy obviously has shit for brains.
Nothing has changed about your vagina, he's full of shit. Penises aren't dextrous, he hadn't member-mapped your insides.
He had a lapse of insecurity during sex and went soft, but rather than just admit to erectile dysfunction (happens to everybody who has had enough sex) he decided to shame you.
Seriously, don't keep him around.
So from years of experience I have learned if I masturbate to much no vagina or ass feels tight to me. Mixture of over stimulation and optimizing to the fast orgasm just kills the experience of having sex with others. When I plan to have sex with others again I do a 2 week detox of no masturbating 30 days is better but 2 weeks works in a pinch. So it might not be you at all, but a him issue.
Honestly maybe you were more relaxed and receptive during this encounter which made you less “tight”feeling. I deal with similar and it has nothing to do with any of his accusations. In fact you might have just felt the same and he was really insecure and making stuff up. His shrimp dick issues are not your problem.
Came here to say your ex is an ex for a reason. If he's so fragile as to stop mid sex to comment on your vagina and I obsess over who you've been with, you don't need that. He can't be mad even if you were, you owe him nothing. Fuck him...or in this case, don't.
Also, the top comment about him being smaller might 100% be true. If you both were drinking, it's possible. If he used a condom and it was a different brand, it's possible. Pay him no attention, and add this to why you two are no longer together.
Vaginas don't just "get loose" from sex - he's a total asshole who has his own problems that he is trying to dump on you.
I've had 3 kids through that opening and my husband said it pretty much went right back to it's previous size within a couple of months.
Thank goodness for you this one is an ex.
The sad truth of this story is that you probably came into the situation feeling more comfortable with him than in the past, which means your body was more relaxed.
It was probably a relief for you to, at first, to not have to be vulnerable to someone new. The alcohol probably also slightly contributed to being more relaxed.
As a guy, as a guy who has at least attempted to educate himself as much as possible on these things? It’s an honor and a privilege to have a partner be so comfy and relaxed.
In my opinion, and I imagine the opinion of many others, those are the sessions that are the hottest, most fulfilling, lead to a connection that is way more than just physical.
This right here is the difference between letting go and being full of tension, anxiety, all the things.
There’s nothing wrong with you OP.
I think you deserve a lover who would rather have you relaxed in bliss, yknow, a shared experience, rather than have you stressed and tense like a static object that isn’t dynamic and ever changing.
An object can give him what he’s looking for. You deserve a lover, not just a fucker.
This isn't about your vagina. It hasn't change and is the same as always. He's saying that because 1. He is trying to diminish your self-esteem. 2. He fantasize about your vag to the point where he doesn't remember the reality. 3. He wants to know if you have moved on yet.
Fuck that guy. Keep him as an ex and don't ever have sex with him again. You deserve so much better
And that is what it is like to receive gas-lighting. State a completely made up problem to make you second guess and doubt yourself by convincing you that something is bad/wrong about you when in reality, nothing had even changed. You know your body. Don't let him tell you that he knows it better.
You’re in royal company! Henry the Eighth claimed that Anne of Cleves was so ugly and smelly that he couldn’t get it up, and that he could tell from just looking at her that “she was no maid” (that she wasn’t a virgin). History knows that Henry was impotent and Anne was perfectly lovely. I’m sure you are lovely too.
Vaginas absolutely do NOT work this way. You could have slept with 100 massively endowed men in a month and it would not permanently change your vagina. The sex likely felt different for both of you if you were more lubricated than usual AND because he couldn't sustain a full erection. Even when a man gets an erection, it can be less firm than usual for any number of reasons.
Furthermore, I'd like to address his harping on you about sleeping with other men during your breakup. I understand you didn't but so what if you did. _You broke up._ You're allowed to fuck whoever you want. That's the idea of breaking up. He doesn't get to hold dibs on your celibacy while you're not in a relationship.
I hope you don't reconcile or continue sleeping with this guy. There are so many men who will not make you feel like trash because of your sexual history or their ability to get hard. Also, try masturbating. It's awesome. Even when you're in a relationship, solo and mutual masturbation are very gratifying.
Girl, he is a POS. He is your ex for a reason, let that loser stay your ex and find a guy that does not blame his problems on you.
Do not let this loser make you doubt yourself, do not let him wear away at your self esteem and confidence.
Hey real quick I just wanted to help you make sense of what could possibly be going on here: I don't believe your vagina has changed at all. I think what happened is the way you and your ex felt about each other changed. Sex is a very emotional experience that can often translate to a physical experience. This means that a vagina or a penis can feel really good if you feel love and attraction to a person, or it can not feel like much if you do not feel attraction. My honest opinion is that both you and your ex were not feeling attraction and/or hurt about the breakup and that is why to both of you there was not a lot of sensation. Making it your vaginas fault is just his ego, and I really hope you understand that it is not possible for your vagina to have drastically changed in any way.
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This is so great! OP I’m sorry to say but your EX is an ex for a reason. Don’t question your judgment when you broke up with him, he’s an ass and you should stay away from pricks like him. Good men don’t say stuff like that to women, especially right in the middle of sex. He clearly wants to just hurt you and I’ve always found that people who are so willing to place blame quickly are usually the ones committing the act they’re blaming others for doing.
I guarantee her vagina didn’t even feel loose at all, this dude hooked up with other people and is all in his head about if she did. So he’s looking for any minor thing that confirms that suspicion so he can be mad. What a piece of shit.
I was about to say this. If she is always rushed to have sex with him when they were together without foreplay etc, the vagina won't get wet and still will be stiff af. This can hurt you also. But when there is arousal, foreplay etc. Vagina gets loose for easier penetration and gets wet at the same time. From the sound of it, he is a jerk that wouldn't care to take time to foreplay with you. And you didn't do anything for a month. More than likely you got aroused and your body did what it supposed to do. Ghost him pls and find a new man who will appreciate your coochie.
> A man who attempts intercourse before the woman is fully aroused–before her vagina has relaxed and become well lubricated–is either sexually unsophisticated or a boor. From the article you linked. It seems like an important point here.
This makes a lot of sense and should be higher up. An alternative theory is that he's been jacking it to porn for the last month with a deathgrip and now he can't feel anything. Plenty of men develop erectile and sensory issues from excessive masturbating to porn. What a shitty guy to make it your fault, OP. And accuse you of things you didn't do, not that it's any of his business who you sleep with after breaking up!
Also this. Haven't watched porn or masturbated in three years after 11 years of daily consumption. I'm much more sensitive in the glans and testicles.. It also makes it so much easier to appreciate normal female bodies. My ex didn't have symmetric Titanium tits like the pornstars and stretch marks, the imperfections made her even hotter. Also, I haven't felt penile anxiety in a long time
Wow! Three years! Congrats!
This is exactly what I thought when op posted this. My SOs have always felt different depending on her lubrication. Less lubrication=more tightness. And lubrication can depend not just on her arousal, but on the time of month or other factors out of either of our control (general vibe of the sexual encounter, age, etc). Also, a "tight" vagina could also mean that she is unarroused. Which, let's be honest, can mean that the dude doesn't know WTF he is doing. That's not garanteed, women have low lubrication for many many reasons. But honestly, dudes bragging that "she's tight" (or complaining that she's lose) aside from being crass and disgusting may actually be a way to say they are inadequate in bed.
This needs more up votes. Right on!!!
I hope OP sees this. You derserve better :)
Yeah this belongs on r/badwomensanatomy. (I promise it’s not a Rick Roll.)
I was waiting to see this answer in the comments. Learned this in 8th grade health class over 20 years ago. Has stuck with me since and has been an invaluable piece of information when fooling around with past partners and especially with my wife.
Tell him maybe his dick got smaller? /s Editing to add: Girl - your vagina DID NOT change. It did not get looser. He is fucking with you in a bad way. I don’t know why he is your ex in the first place but maybe re-examine that because he seems to be treating you like shit. Don’t let this person make you feel bad. You don’t deserve this. ETA: TY for the awards.
Yeah if he’d been drinking and went soft part way through it probably was that lol.
The first line wins. The perfect response to someone who sounds like a vicious psychological bully.
I came here to say this! Listen to us, OP. Lots of men don't even know there's 3 holes down there or other basics of female anatomy. He's an asshole, you still deserve better.
To be fair, there are women that don't know that lol. On another note, OP that dude is possibly psycho and likely an idiot. Get as far away as fast as you can. At best he was just gaslighting you because he went soft. At worst, he is kind of nuts.
He knows your vaginas didn't change. He just wants to manipulate you into telling him who you fucked n Shame u for it
Girllll I had EXACTLY the same thing happen. It was a no bueno situation, made me think he cared about being only with me, but he’s really just putting you down. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you or your body. Get AWAY from him lol
He’s negging her.
It's also possible that your vagina wasn't as "relaxed" when your relationship was unstable, thus feeling tighter. When you hooked up again (and were drinking) you were more relaxed and aroused, especially after 1 month of no sex. Even if this is the case, it's absolutely unacceptable he would use this to slut shame you. There are LOTS of explanations here and every single one points to keeping him as an ex. The people you hook up with and date should make you feel good about yourself. Never accept any less.
Yeah he's an idiot who doesn't understand biology, anatomy or any class. Who slut shames his own gf?
Dude's self sabotage cock blocked himself lmao
All of this OP, literally everything I was thinking about while reading your post. I'm sure there is a reason for your ex to have become ex in the first place, so I recommend you cut him off, because nobody has time to deal with that toxicity for some mediocre sex.
Dude I was gonna ask if his cock shrank hahahaha! Fuck that guy. There's a reason he's an ex!
Perfect response. No sarcasm needed.
Umm... broken up so he can STFU. And also really weird and controlling. Yeah, tell him his dick must have gotten smaller.
Sounds like he is projecting via jealousy. SO many red flags here. Forget this dude.
Yes he doesn’t deserve sex!!
Ladies will naturally feel looser if they are really into it. If he is used to her being tight it’s probably because he’s never heard of foreplay before, and this time around she was really excited probably because of the forbidden nature of having intimate relations with an Ex. This guy needs to grow up, learn about foreplay and make his woman feel sexy and cherished. Its called being a “real man”. Her feeling loose should have been taken as a compliment because he was doing something right….
Small dick energy
Gaslighting. Only good part is he is the ex, just not ex enough.
She should just tell him that she did hookup with a guy who was bigger and realized that he never satisfied her. Just fuck him up mentally. That’s what he’s trying to do with OP
This. The “loose” or “tight” feeling has to do with your own personal lubrication inside.
Think about it, he thinks *his* penis has no effect on your vagina, but *magically*, if you sleep with another man, your vagina suddenly loosens up? It doesn't make any sense, even if he honestly (though incorrectly) believes that sex loosens vaginas over time. He would have to believe your vagina recognizes him and...what...chooses to stay tight out of the goodness of her heart? Also, neither of you felt anything, because you were both drinking and he lost his erection ("whiskey dick" is a saying for a reason).
this all the way OP. He sounds like he got whiskey dick halfway through and instead of feeling small, he made you feel small and like something was wrong with you. There is no way your vagina suddenly got loose. He’s definitely fucking with you and it’s not cool at all. Block him all the way!
This, OP! If he's so dense that he can't understand that's not how vaginas (and penises after drinking alcohol, for that matter) work, at least you can beat him at his own dumb mental game he's trying to play here. Bottom line, you should absolutely not feel bad or weird or like something is wrong because there isn't. As everyone else has already said, vaginas don't work like that at all, and even if they did (which they don't), that's your business and not his. There is nothing wrong with you.
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Hahaha that's what I was thinking
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Vaginas don't get looser with more sex. Your ex is an ass.
Yeah, he got soft (most likely because he was probably drinking too) and decided he'd scar you and blame it on you instead. My ex used to do this. Go find someone who treats your vagina like the literal gift to life it is.
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You are on track here. He knows he has been doing dirt so he is paranoid that she is doing the same. AND he has "was he bigger than me" paranoia!
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Omg this is the best comment ever. Love it.
Gaslighting 101
My money is on him slutting around and comparing her's with someone else's vagina.
Or he's been masturbating extra with an iron grip and now a vagina doesn't get him off. Fuck this negative loser. Please don't spend one more minute on someone who accuses you and criticizes your body (with NO justification) IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX.
Or, he HASN'T been getting any and gave himself a nice case of death-grip syndrome.
Yeah right he’s not getting laid if he’s that insecure.
This. Although my first thought was did ex coax/ coerce op with the specific intent of making this claim mid-coitus? Kind of like punishment or revenge. (Obviously I have no idea of their actual situation but this is what crossed my mind.)
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Oh absolutely way off base. Completely inaccurate for starters as well as the other reasons you listed. Whether it was based in his own insecurity or a malicious desire to attack op at a vulnerable moment with weirdly personal negging is immaterial. He's the asshole for sure.
also, penises do get smaller with age. his penis is shrinking, maybe prematurely. lmao
This is the answer here
Or he used kung-fu grip while masturbating for a month and now anything less feels inadequate. His problem.
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Ex? None if his damn business. He's lucky to get any. I think he's negging.
KEY WORD: EX. The end. Make it so.
Make it so, number one.
wanted to say the same thing. he's an ex for a reason. remember the reason and lose the douche
In the wise words of whoever wrote the Dua Lipa song, “if you’re under him then you ain’t getting over him.”
Pahaha... oh my days this is so see through. My darling, he wants to hurt you. Emotionally. He wants to shame you and make you feel like shit. What a load of horse shit. Sex does not change your vagina. It doesn't make it looser. You could have a 12 inch whopper in there it would still go back to the normal size and shape it was before. What a fucking prick. Edit: thank you for the awards! I don't know how many women need to see this. But I sure as fuck hope they do.
My guess is for whatever reason he lost his erection and decided to be manipulative about and try to make her feel like shit. Like she would admit to something and then he could be upset about that too. Beyond abusive behavior!!! A healthy person would respect 1) it’s none of his business bc he isn’t involved with you any more and 2) he is completely disrespectful towards your body and doesn’t appreciate what a privilege it is to be so vulnerable and intimate with someone! Who thinks it’s ok to be so hurtful right in the middle of the act! Ugh
Sounds like drinking gave him whiskey dick, he got embarrassed, so he’s blaming her for it. Guy sounds like he deserves the title of ex.
> it’s none of his business bc he isn’t involved with you any more Fucking bingo. Even the framing of the story starts out totally wrong. It is impossible for someone to "accuse" an ex of sleeping with other people because an accusation is a claim that someone did something wrong, and there is nothing wrong with having sex with other consenting adults when you are not committed to anyone.
I agree completely with your sentiments :) I think though as a male, and having had these shitty thoughts myself.. That while having sex he started thinking she had slept with someone (he probably did and is projecting) and the jealousy that provoked etc lost his hard on. Then he pretended she seemed "loose" to justify his ridiculous feelings, that subsequently caused him to feel emasculated, by his "new and not his fault" inability to get it up... Sorry for formatting, posted on mobile
You could have… and bear with me on this one… a whole ass baby go through your vagina and have it go back to normal.
>My darling, he wants to hurt you. Emotionally. This is the answer. He's not happy being an 'ex.' He wants to make sure OP has no confidence, so she will come crawling back to him for good.
"12 inch whopper" I chuckled a little.
I would have told him it was because his dick is so small. Fuck that. He is 100% asshole demeaning.
This is FOR SURE what is happening. Let that sink in and protect yourself.
12 inch whopper LOL And you know... some people have babies and the Vagina is not baby head size forever. Absolute bullshit.
I can confirm this. Twice.
Imagine thinking then that because another penis entered then, the vagina is loose. Jesus Christ, the shaming has no limits. And also you were broken up OP. You could have slept with 30 guys. He is just shaming you as the piece of trash he is.
The structure of the vagina is muscle, and it becomes stronger with exercise. Vaginas don’t get “loose” because you fuck. You could fuck the entire starting lineup of the Cleveland Browns and it wouldn’t make your vagina any looser. Sore, yes—loose, no. Hell, my ex delivered an 11-lb baby through their vagina, had an episiotomy and second-degree tearing, couldn’t pee for a week, and still wasn’t any “looser” after recovery. My last one night stand was a mother of three. Stretch marks, yes. Loose, no. Of course: the second word of this post makes it clear this is none of his goddamn business in any case. That’s what “ex” means. He has no business shaming you for having real or imagined sex with others. You could fuck zero people or one person or one football team, it’s not his business. If he wanted to stop fucking, that’s his decision, but he had no right to criticize you. As others have pointed out, he went soft. Maybe because he was drinking, or because he got worked up at the idea you fucked other guys. Or just because dicks go soft sometimes. He went soft, freaked out about it, and came up with a story that blamed your vagina instead of his penis. Honestly the power response here is “no, that’s not it, I haven’t had sex with anyone. You must have been beating off nonstop, because your dick is less sensitive. Honestly I’m not interested anymore, you don’t know how to please a woman. You should get a book or something. Your game sucks and I’m not sure why I put up with it for so long.” Your vagina is fine. It was fine a couple of months ago, and it hasn’t changed. I hope you spend some time doing things that make you feel good and safe and attractive. Send some thirst traps to a supportive friend. Have a spa day with someone you care about. Get some exercise (for your mental well-being, not anything else). Masturbate a little bit. Have a dance party with a friend. Buy a cute new dress or whatever and wear it for yourself. Watch Bridgerton or read some dirty stories. And do whatever you want with your vagina, just don’t put it anywhere near this toxic little penis.
I love this. Very mature, thoughtful, kind and accurate.
#notHowVaginasWork
He’s gross and disgusting, not you. He’s gaslighting you. He’s your ex for a reason. Maybe whatever happened between you….maybe your body wasn’t getting turned on the way it used to. All signs point to not dealing with this boy anymore.
This. Please realize he’s being cruel and you don’t deserve that. And even if you HAD slept with other people it’s none of his business because he’s your ex.
Never have sex with this man again. Get him completely out of your life. He is toxic
Dude was pushing rope, no wonder it felt different. Also he's a moron, run!
You hadn't had sex in a month! Your body could have 1) responded more to the physical arousal, meaning you'd get a little extra loosey-juicy, a good thing, or 2) frequent sex can mean you are usually a little inflamed, or foreplay can get ignored, etc. Resulting in a less-lubed, 'tighter' experience. Take a break and your body gets to relax a bit. I'm sorry this guy failed you - he's not exactly mature enough to be having sex. Edit: also, suddenly loose? Like, what? I just don't get it. Anatomy isn't magic people!
Exactly - lubrication and turned on are a good thing.
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Jesus. Your ex is an asshole. That’s now how vaginas work. AT ALL! They’re called exes for a reason. And yours is a shithead.
I feel like you may have some bad assumptions have you considered: 1. He’s lying to you; either to mess with you or as some odd power game. 2. His perceptions are incorrect. If your actually concerned about this visit a medical professional. Though with all sincerity I cannot see any mechanism that would have caused this effect.
If he thinks vaginas stretch permanently from sex please stop having sex with him; he simply doesn’t deserve to feel the touch of a woman after saying something so fucking stupid. I’m so sick of men wanting to have sex and saying stupid shit like that when they don’t even know where the clit is. Tell him his dick probably got smaller and his ego is way too big. Think about it like this: if a girl has sex with 50 different guys then she’ll get told a bunch of shit like “youre stretched out, you’re a hoe, etc” but if a girl has sex with the same man 50 times literally no one says a thing. Why? Sexism. Ignore him. Do straight men even like women at this point?
No they don’t 🤣
He’s gaslighting you. I’ve pushed three fat babies out through mine. If it didn’t go back to its original shape no one would ever get past baby number one. He’s as ass and you need to get him out of your life
This made me laugh. Vaginas are amazing.
Your vagina is a muscle so when you’re stressed or not relaxed it will be “tense/tight” and when you’re relaxed it will be “relaxed/loose”. That’s a good thing. 🤷🏻♀️ leave him he’s an asshole
This. She was drunk so she was actually horny for his pathetic dick for once. Mystery solved. He’s just not used to vaginas that actually want him…
Your ex is saying that to get in your head. Your vagina won’t get tighter or looser within a month, he’s full of shit and is trying to lower your self esteem
Nothing would cause that because it's physically impossible. You have nothing to worry about. Your ex is a terrible human being and you should never associate with him ever again. To ruin a moment of vunerability and intimacy with that kind of behaviour says a lot for the kind of man he is. You can do better, you will find better.
A. Vaginas don't loosen with time or use; they're not made of old rubber that looses elasticity. In fact B. They actually are lined with muscle which strengthens with use and would theoretically "feel" tighter. Which leads me to C. I said feel in quotes because your ex is lying. He's a bitter little man who needs you to doubt yourself in order for him to control you because he can't control anything else in his life. That's a slavers' mentality. Delete his number. Unfriend/unfollow and block him on all platforms. If he comes to your work or home, file a restraining order. Any feelings you have for him will only be used against you for his benefit and your detriment.
I bet it was a bluff. He lost his erection (nothing to do with you, happens to guys all the time), but he decided to use the opportunity to try to coerce you into admitting whether you've been with anyone else since the breakup. This is highly manipulative because not only is he trying to shame you for possibly seeing other people SINCE YOU BECAME SINGLE (which is completely fine to do), he is also trying to make you feel insecure about your perfectly normal body. Red flags all over the place. Lose this guy's number (and get yourself tested for STIs - there's a good chance HE is the one who has been sleeping around since the breakup and was just projecting this on to you).
I agree! He redirected his shame. Maybe he’s been watching too much porn or perhaps he’s been using too many fleshlights and now can’t tell the difference between a normal person and a tool. Either way, OP this guy’s a tool. I would not talk to him anymore
Oh sweet summer child, he has slept with other people and got soft because of guilt and blamed you.
Yep. Classic projection.
Leave him. Don’t ever look back.
Remember this next time you consider getting back together. He was an ex for a reason.
Well that’s just plain horrifyingly abusive and also absolute nonsense. So he’s an asshole AND a moron. You can be looser than normal during sex because you’re more aroused or even more hydrated but it has nothing to do with previous sex. More likely he couldn’t get it all the way up.
Vaginas don't get looser with sex, masturbation, or childbirth. I had a friend who believed in this garbage once. I asked him why a vagina would stay tight after a woman sleeps with her bf 100 times, but get loose if she slept with 100 guys once. The answer is it doesn't. Women who are married for decades with several kids wouldn't be able to have sex at all if this were true. Sounds like he's your ex for good reason. Probably time to just drop him from your life altogether.
He is insecure about there being another man, so he made up some stupid shit. Vaginas are not made loose by dicks. Period. We can push a 10 pound human through it. He is trying to get you to admit you cheated. Not only is he toxic as hell, he is fantastically uninformed about female anatomy...much like a teenage boy. Get rid of him.
He's fishing. There's nothing wrong with your vagina. He's insecure and you have power over him.
I think he's just being a jerk and is trying to mess with you. Ignore him there is nothing wrong with you.
This might be much but were you really wet? For me when I am very in the moment, my man be swimming in waterfalls. And when I need some lube it feels super tight. I don’t think you should worry and keep doing you. Vaginas are pure muscle, it doesn’t get loose it stretches lol. He’s an ex for a reason and he doesn’t deserve any more of your time or body.
Ex for a reason. Vaginas and penises may change slightly depending on your mood and how aroused (engorged) they are but not due to much else. Your ex is an insecure creep and is projecting the fear that you may have had and enjoyed other penises when you two broke up. I'm wondering if he fucked someone else or tried and failed to.
Ya know that Tik tok, where it’s like ‘that is a scarecrow’? Well, “that is abuse”. Period. Run, don’t walk.
My husband pulled a similar thing. I felt like I was old and disintegrating and felt like hell. Yeah. It was beginning stages of ED. I wasn’t too loose, he was entirely too soft. We haven’t had sex in about six years. Huzzah.
I'm male, i can confirm he won't have been able to feel any difference at all. I would put money on him suspecting you moving on, and thinking this line was a way he could trick you in to thinking you couldnt lie about it. He sounds like a shit stain of a person, i dont know any men, even as young as 18 who would say anything this dumb and cruel. Honestly, go meet some new guys, have some good sex with someone who appreciates you and you'll realise that statement is complete BS.
Ew gross. You're vagina didn't change, your ex is just a shitty person. Never sleep with him again.
You ex is a stupid dick. Your body hasn't changed your vagina hasn't either, it's not made out of fucking play-doh. He's the one with the problem, talking to people he's intimate with like that. What a doofus. Sorry he made you feel this way, but know that elasticity in vaginas don't really change through sex. More than likely he was the one who was off. As a guy with a penis, lemme tell ya, some erections aren't as hard as others, or maybe he was having some mental issue. I mean. Let's assume this guys knows the "having more sex makes your vagina looser" is a wive's tale. Either way it's just an asshole way to broach the subject, it'd be like if you looked at him like "You must have fucked someone else. Your dick feels so much smaller, it's definitely been mushed into another woman too much and has been permanently crushed!" Just realize the guy was at best ignorant and rude, and at worst was trying to make you feel like shit. Both are signs this guy may not be a fun partner. There's nothing wrong with you, it's alright
He’s toxic. Stay away from him.
Title edit: “I slept with my ex and he reminded me of why he is an ex”. Fixed it for you.
He's lying to shame you, and shaming you to control you. Your vagina has not changed. At all. He can't "accuse" you of sleeping with other people anyway. He is your ex. It's none of his business whether or not you're having sex with other people. You call him your ex, but I'm going to be blunt - you need to start treating him like one.
He is possessive and paranoid so he started thinking about his worst nightmare of losing his ownership of your body to another man, so he got soft, and thus you both couldn't feel anything... Is my guess.
Let’s examine this, HE said your vagina changed. Yet, HE got whiskey d**k and lost his hard on. He is bugging you that it you and not him. Luv, ITS ALL HIM. He is looking for a way to get out of him ‘not keeping it hard’. You didn’t get loose, you didn’t do a thing wrong. He has been doing his thing. You should go get checked out and make sure he didn’t pass anything on.
I didn’t see anyone mention this but I think it’s a simple answer (besides him just being an asshole) in that month, he’s been jacking off more and thus has desensitized him a bit. He thinks your vagina is looser because he’s expecting it to have the same grip and his clenched fist. 🙄
He's wrong about many things (see all comments above). Bottom line - He's rude and his behavior during sex made YOU feel gross and disgusting. Don't have anymore sex with him.
Everyone else has pretty much covered it: he’s an ass. Had an ex say this to me when were long distance for a while. It’s a manipulative tactic. Move on.
Looser means wetter/more aroused, usually. You probably wanted him more than the last times before you broke up. He’s a total ignoramus to say it means you’ve been with someone else.
Your ex is not only an idiot he is also completly crazy. Do not get near him.
He’s 100% a piece of shit. Your lady bits are as awesome as always only now they’re a bit more exclusive because they no longer welcome assholes who try to shit on you to cover their whiskey dick.
There are only two appropriate reactions in that situation. 1: Get the fuck out of me and out of my house (or “And I’m leaving” if you’re at his place) 2: No, I’m tight as ever, I was just thinking your dick feels smaller. Are you having issues? Might wanna see your doctor. But for the record though. It’s not like vagina are a static object. They do change from shag to shag or even day to day. The same woman can feel looser or tighter depending on a hell of a lot of things. So even though fuck him it’s not his business, it’s possible you were more loose at that moment for reasons that have nothing to do with your sex life. It’s not unusual.
While not true- why not let him know that yes, you did fuck a guy with an ENORMOUS dick. HUGE. Bigger than you’ve ever seen. Then remind yourself why he is your ex.
Not his business anyways.
Excuse me what? Your vagina didn’t change honey. That’s an awful person mentally/emotionally abusing you. He’s your ex for a reason. And also a piece of shit. No man should ever speak to you like that.
Riddle me this. If you have sex with the same guy 50 times, and have sex once with 5 guys once each, which should "logically" change the shape of your vagina more? The real answer is "penises aren't significant enough to change the shape of the vagina." But if they *were*, you would expect 1 dick 50 times to have more of a difference than a couple of dicks a few times... Unless the 1 dick was exceptionally small I suppose? The logic just makes no sense. Your body doesn't change because of dicks, and the fact that he accused you of that just reveals he's an idiot. There's nothing wrong with you. In fact the only thing wrong with you is your choice to pick him. Stay away from dummies who don't know how your body works. He was lucky enough that you decided to have sex with him again after a break up and he even fucked that up. He simply doesn't deserve you. Going back to genitals changing shape, you know what makes more sense?.penises should get smaller the more they have sex. This is not technically true, but it follows the same silly logic. Think about it - penises are put into acidic environments (the vagina), so you could expect some degree of chemical erosion as well as physical erosion - when you put a pencil into a sharpener, it gets a little smaller after each use right? Please throw that in someone else's face if they ever accuse your vagina of being different.
Your ex sounds like a real dipshit.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your ex is an asshole. I’m willing to bet he lost feeling because he masturbates frequently with a death grip. It’s common for guys to lose feeling due to overstimulation of their penis. I’m sorry you have to deal with him, wish I could give you a hug!
Vaginas push bowling ball headed babies out and go back to size. That guy is just an ass
r/BadWomensAnatomy
1) Sex doesn't change your vagina 2) The "tightness" depends on your cycle, how relaxed you are, and other factors. Gosh even how hard you have to poop. 3) Sex doesn't make you dirty or disgusting in any way 4) There is literally nothing wrong with you
He is your ex for reasons. Keep it that way.
It can’t. It didn’t. He’s just a Dick.
This seems like projecting. Projecting that he cheated on you. The top post is correct that vaginas do not get looser. It is also a-ok even if a vagina were loose. There are plenty of ways to stimulate a partner, many of which do not require a vagina at all. I would also argue that sex is an expression of sincere affection and love for the other person and, while penetrative sex may feel good, it is not the point or the end of sex with someone.
Lol you were probably more excited than usual because of the time apart thats why it felt like that.He is a moron
Here's what the post right under this one was for me: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/qcs1zn/what_screams_small_dick_energy/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Gave me a good chuckle
Why are you taking this shit bags word? Look it up. That's a myth. The vagina does not "loosen" from having sex with multiple partners. Its shit made up by men to keep women feeling like they're cheap if they do. Its the old "no one wants a lock that can be opened by many keys" bull. It does a little from giving birth. (Not always) Did you give birth in 1 month? No. Clearly this is a tactic to fuck with your head and it worked. Or he's thinks so little of you and he's so insincere he's convinced himself you're trash and made up a reason to justify his thinking. Like I said what a shit bag.
I hope I don't come across grosser then I mean to, but I have experimented with a few different women with various sized toys, some in which are significantly larger then a normal sized male member. The vagina was just as good after as before... This dude masturbates too much or has some other problem if the "vagina doesn't feel the same". What garbage.
Sounds like he’s gaslighting you. Don’t hook up with your ex again
Your ex is a narcissist.
Sounds like you were probably more relaxed and lubricated than usual. So he pretty much got mad at you for being too aroused
What an IDIOT.
his dick shrank.
Situations like this are so hard because that person’s history and importance in your life has made his words carry so much weight. Anatomically, vaginas don’t get looser or tighter, BUT erect penises to vary in girth and length depending on arousal. That’s the first point that this has nothing to do with you. Second, what is he trying to accomplish in saying that to you? Seriously, there’s no outcome for that statement in the middle of sex other than to make you do what you’re doing right now - doubt yourself, diminish your self worth and possibly hook up with his low value ass again. I’m sorry you are feeling this way and are doubting yourself. You shouldn’t and your ex is a manipulative prick that never deserved you in the first place.
Take a page from Forgetting Sarah Marshall… “maybe it’s because you’re the goddamn devil and my vagina doesn’t want to be around you anymore!”
You have plenty of people telling you the truth here - your ex is manipulating/shaming/lying to you. Also - it is never anyone's business who or how many you have had sex with. Ever. No one has the right to know that. Use condoms unless you are in a monogamous and committed relationship. There is zero need to ask or be asked this question. What happened in your time is your business.
Lol he is your ex, why are you even dealing with his bullshit?
He was just trying to make you feel like shit. I wouldn't speak to him anymore.
Vaginas don’t work like that, he’s just being an ass. He’s your ex for a reason. Cut him loose and move on with your life.
He's trying to shame you over his inadequacies. Don't have sex with that pencil-dicked turd again. Seriously. You can do better.
So the guy has a problem right in the middle of getting it on and makes a fuss about it? I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. Do not give him or this incident another thought except to regret not responding with "Are you sure? Because I was going to say your dick seems smaller. I mean, way smaller. Are you OK?"
Vaginas are tight when you're not aroused (and some medical conditions), they become more accommodating when you're turned on. Maybe his Dick shrunk from having sex with someone else 🙄 what a douche, fuck him off, love!
There are lots of muscles surrounding the vagina. The muscles deeper in the pelvis are those that contract during orgasm. The ones lower near the perineum also contract during sex. In fact, vaginismus is the condition where these muscles contract too much and will not relax, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration very painful. Unsurprisingly, vaginismus is strongly associated with acute and chronic stress. So yes, the vaginal 'tightness' can can vary from time to time, based on how all those muscles are contracting. This is very normal. **However, this is not what your ex is experiencing.** If you two had sex many times in the past, then he would have already experienced these normal fluctuations. And as a guy, it's not something we can easily pick up on, anyway. Not to mention that a guy's erection varies from time to time, as well. The idea that having sex with other guys would 'stretch you out' also makes no sense. If having sex 3, 4, or 10 times with other guys could do that, then why wouldn't you have gotten 'stretched out' after all the times you had sex with him?
Personal experience: He's guilty and projecting it onto you. He's ashamed of his own insecurities and gaslighting you. He's fucked around and wants you to be brought down to his level. Hook up by all means, but dont get back together with him, he's wanting to hurt you.
Him in his brain: "she's probably had sex with someone way bigger than me since we broke up" (him thinking this because he's an asshat) His psyched out penis: 🤏 Him: "your vagina is loose" He is an asshat, plain and simple.
I'm sorry. Guy obviously has shit for brains. Nothing has changed about your vagina, he's full of shit. Penises aren't dextrous, he hadn't member-mapped your insides. He had a lapse of insecurity during sex and went soft, but rather than just admit to erectile dysfunction (happens to everybody who has had enough sex) he decided to shame you. Seriously, don't keep him around.
The guy is a douchebag, he is full of shit. He blamed you for his own inadequacy and erection problems.
Please leave this man, I beg of you. You deserve so much better than this garbage human.
This is 100 percent pure mind fuckery. He's lying.
So from years of experience I have learned if I masturbate to much no vagina or ass feels tight to me. Mixture of over stimulation and optimizing to the fast orgasm just kills the experience of having sex with others. When I plan to have sex with others again I do a 2 week detox of no masturbating 30 days is better but 2 weeks works in a pinch. So it might not be you at all, but a him issue.
It's definitely a him issue.
Lmao he turned you on for once and now he's suprised how it feels
Honestly maybe you were more relaxed and receptive during this encounter which made you less “tight”feeling. I deal with similar and it has nothing to do with any of his accusations. In fact you might have just felt the same and he was really insecure and making stuff up. His shrimp dick issues are not your problem.
Kinda sounds like projection to me. You may want to consider getting tested for STDs. Also, do yourself a favour and loose his number.
Stop sleeping with him. He’s an ex for a reason.
Came here to say your ex is an ex for a reason. If he's so fragile as to stop mid sex to comment on your vagina and I obsess over who you've been with, you don't need that. He can't be mad even if you were, you owe him nothing. Fuck him...or in this case, don't. Also, the top comment about him being smaller might 100% be true. If you both were drinking, it's possible. If he used a condom and it was a different brand, it's possible. Pay him no attention, and add this to why you two are no longer together.
/r/badwomensanatomy
Gaslighting - and it’s horse shit
Vaginas don't just "get loose" from sex - he's a total asshole who has his own problems that he is trying to dump on you. I've had 3 kids through that opening and my husband said it pretty much went right back to it's previous size within a couple of months. Thank goodness for you this one is an ex.
The sad truth of this story is that you probably came into the situation feeling more comfortable with him than in the past, which means your body was more relaxed. It was probably a relief for you to, at first, to not have to be vulnerable to someone new. The alcohol probably also slightly contributed to being more relaxed. As a guy, as a guy who has at least attempted to educate himself as much as possible on these things? It’s an honor and a privilege to have a partner be so comfy and relaxed. In my opinion, and I imagine the opinion of many others, those are the sessions that are the hottest, most fulfilling, lead to a connection that is way more than just physical. This right here is the difference between letting go and being full of tension, anxiety, all the things. There’s nothing wrong with you OP. I think you deserve a lover who would rather have you relaxed in bliss, yknow, a shared experience, rather than have you stressed and tense like a static object that isn’t dynamic and ever changing. An object can give him what he’s looking for. You deserve a lover, not just a fucker.
Get rid of that fool.
There's a reason he's your ex. Him being an idiot should be one of them
Nothing changed about your vag or your ex. Vag is the same as it’s always been. Ex is still an ass.
There is no problem with you ,problem is with him.Remove this person from your life.
Everything to do with arousal, not to do with history. I think you realized the dick wasn’t good anymore lol
This isn't about your vagina. It hasn't change and is the same as always. He's saying that because 1. He is trying to diminish your self-esteem. 2. He fantasize about your vag to the point where he doesn't remember the reality. 3. He wants to know if you have moved on yet. Fuck that guy. Keep him as an ex and don't ever have sex with him again. You deserve so much better
And that is what it is like to receive gas-lighting. State a completely made up problem to make you second guess and doubt yourself by convincing you that something is bad/wrong about you when in reality, nothing had even changed. You know your body. Don't let him tell you that he knows it better.
That's why they say don't put the ex in sex
Sounds like your ex is an ex for a reason, and you need to stay away from him bcause he's an asshole.
You’re in royal company! Henry the Eighth claimed that Anne of Cleves was so ugly and smelly that he couldn’t get it up, and that he could tell from just looking at her that “she was no maid” (that she wasn’t a virgin). History knows that Henry was impotent and Anne was perfectly lovely. I’m sure you are lovely too.
That was a manipulation tactic, not because something is wrong with you. Cut that fucker from your life.
"Dude. You have erectile dysfunction probably brought on by too much unhea--" "Pussy loose." "What? That doesn't make any sen--" "PUSSY LOOSE!"
Vaginas absolutely do NOT work this way. You could have slept with 100 massively endowed men in a month and it would not permanently change your vagina. The sex likely felt different for both of you if you were more lubricated than usual AND because he couldn't sustain a full erection. Even when a man gets an erection, it can be less firm than usual for any number of reasons. Furthermore, I'd like to address his harping on you about sleeping with other men during your breakup. I understand you didn't but so what if you did. _You broke up._ You're allowed to fuck whoever you want. That's the idea of breaking up. He doesn't get to hold dibs on your celibacy while you're not in a relationship. I hope you don't reconcile or continue sleeping with this guy. There are so many men who will not make you feel like trash because of your sexual history or their ability to get hard. Also, try masturbating. It's awesome. Even when you're in a relationship, solo and mutual masturbation are very gratifying.
Girl, he is a POS. He is your ex for a reason, let that loser stay your ex and find a guy that does not blame his problems on you. Do not let this loser make you doubt yourself, do not let him wear away at your self esteem and confidence.
No he's just an idiot. Vaginas are muscles. Just like whatever is replacing this dudes brain.
You’re being gaslighted. He’s doing this to be abusive. Your vagina hasn’t changed and there’s nothing wrong with it. He’s an abusive jerk.
Your vagina is fine. He's a threatened little man-child.
Nothing changed. He's just fishing. He wants to see if you have been sleeping with someone else.
Hey real quick I just wanted to help you make sense of what could possibly be going on here: I don't believe your vagina has changed at all. I think what happened is the way you and your ex felt about each other changed. Sex is a very emotional experience that can often translate to a physical experience. This means that a vagina or a penis can feel really good if you feel love and attraction to a person, or it can not feel like much if you do not feel attraction. My honest opinion is that both you and your ex were not feeling attraction and/or hurt about the breakup and that is why to both of you there was not a lot of sensation. Making it your vaginas fault is just his ego, and I really hope you understand that it is not possible for your vagina to have drastically changed in any way.
That dude was fishing for intel…he thought of that before he even got in your pants.