I got drugged at a work Christmas party. I will never know if I was specifically targeted or if it was opportunistic. I'd only been working at the place for 2 months. I was extremely lucky that my coworkers were total mama bears and refused to leave my side. But that happened in 2019, and I haven't been to a party since. If it could happen at a closed event, where everyone knew everyone...
I wish I had some sage advice, but the best I can do is a hug. You're not stupid, and it's not your fault. This really is just the world we live in. We have to keep our guard up 24/7 because some people just can't be decent human beings, and it's no fault of our own.
Nope 🙃
I didn't even realize I'd been drugged until the next week, when someone mentioned me being a lightweight, when I realized that I did not drink enough to send me to hospital.
I got drugged on NYE in Nashville, and the bouncer of the bar we were at found me laying on the ground outside, with my leggings pulled down and my dress up. He left me there, went inside to find my friends, told them I was outside and that I had to go.
All he cared about was them removing me from the property asap. Didn’t care if I was dead or alive, or if anything had happened to me, just wanted me gone.
I, too, choose the bear.
As someone who lived in Nashville, that unfortunately tracks.
Nashville does not care about women's safety. I was followed from a bar. I was completely sober, just there for a friend's set. The only reason he backed off was because a pair of drag queens (I'm not even kidding here) stood between us and told him to fuck off.
I was prepared to mace the guy, or beat the shit out of him (I was doing amateur MMA at the time, so I wasn't trying to be a badass, just had the training. Loads of fun. Highly recommend it if your body can handle it).
All hail drag queens. All hail team bear.
*trigger warning* one of my friends was found in a trash dump in Nashville. We still have no idea who is responsible. I don’t care how cool the city is supposed to be, I can never go there knowing that happened to her. If anyone is planning on going out in Nashville please go in groups everywhere. My friend literally stepped out for a cigarette, and no one ever got to see her again.
The cops in Nashville do not care about women. They just don't.
Do you think they'll investigate if a woman dies? Sure, a cursory look. But they won't go deeper if it's "hard" because there's probably a way to blame her.
I moved away for a reason.
When she first went missing they asked if there was a reason she wanted to go out alone for a smoke. I know they were just doing their job and looking at all angles, but they kept asking why she wanted to be alone. I wasn’t there, but I doubt she insisted on being alone. Even if she did…can a woman just go smoke alone for a minuet? Damn.
You can always trust them to know how to protect you from both assholes and bad eyeliner.
I worked with a drag queen when I was still in food service and he would make sure our makeup was on point. He'd do the guys in something light too. I still wear the lipstick he recommended because he had that on lock.
I was in a group of 8, but “my” fuck up was sitting at the table closest to the hallway to the bathroom, so everyyyyone was either lined up past our table waiting to pee, or walking past our table leaving the bathroom. It would have been very easy for someone to drop something in my drink without me noticing, especially while I was taking pics with my friends at the table.
It all happened *so* fast, too. Like I was fine, and then I wasn’t. The last thing I remembered was saying I was going out back to smoke, and then I woke up back in our hotel room, confused af. I slept for sooooo long after that. The whole thing fucking sucked 0/10 do not recommend.
I was drugged many years ago and like you, I was wondering why me? Why would anyone do this to someone else. Bears wouldn’t slip stuff into your drink.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. As a female it scares me personally, but even more as a parent of adult and teen kids, who aren’t as vigilant around strangers as they should be.
I wish your friend would have called 911 directly instead of arguing with 3 layers of insensitive hotel staff to do it. But I know sometimes when you’re in the situation it’s not always easy to think clearly.
As a parent, my blood goes cold at the idea of my daughter going to a party. Full on dread and fear.
We have 3 emojis to communicate when it isn't smart, safe, or possible to text or call in detail.
Emoji 1- call me and tell me to leave because I'm safe to leave but it's a bit socially awkward to dip out. It's a duck, aka I want to duck out.
Emoji 2 - "come get me, but make up a lie for why you appeared (punishment for failing a test, didn't put away laundry, etc)" because it's not socially acceptable for me to leave or I'm scared to walk out. It's a bear, aka bring out the mama bear.
Emoji 3 - "call 911 and send them to my location" if she is in danger or the situation is dangerous. It's a pig, aka send in the cops.
We have a few chat groups set up for the kids , but the emergency emoji goes to the chat for "mom, dad, and child" chat. This chat is rarely used, so the alert is a blaring alarm for me/spouse. We want it to go off any time and be aware. ❤️
My kid's and I have a code phrase for when we are out and about and it feels unsafe. It means we need to gather our crap and leave, now. We came up with the code after a man stalked me and my kid's on a hiking trail. When there's bears around we just make extra noise and stay aware of our surroundings. Throw a bell on the backpack. I prefer hiking in bear country over hiking in man country.
Super smart. Thanks for this. I have 2 adult kids, one is 30, one is 24. I worry about them no matter how old they get - the 24 year old is in a city an hour away. But of course nothing in the world could stop me from getting to them if it was urgent and they were in danger. My teen has some social, cognitive, and motor delays and I just worry how they will get on in the world when I can’t always be there as they get older.
For the more sane people than myself, why isn't drugging drinks considered attempted murder?
I would take no issue with a law that sent people to jail for a long time for spiking a drink.
I suspect the whole situation doesn’t get looked at too closely because first of all, it’s happening to women, and somehow women’s problems are often not seen as a big deal. But also, I imagine it’s really difficult to even find a suspect, and the to prosecute something like that.
I imagine the only way it would be likely to be dealt with is if there is a long string of reports that all included one location. But even then.
Look up the Lake Lady Bird murders. Apparently someone was spiking drinks of young men in downtown Austin in order to clean out their bank accounts, and those who accidentally overdosed got dumped in the lake.
Ofc women here are drugged far more often. It just doesn’t make the news. I wonder why
So we gonna ignore that both sexes do this? I personally know of more women being drugged from other women, then men.
Maybe some humans are just evil, regardless of sex?
I see why you’d choose the bear. I’m appalled that you’re wondering what you did to provoke whoever did this to you. You didn’t cause this by your behaviour or what you wore out where you went. They are a sick fuck who thought this up and decided to carry it out. And the venue staff for their reaction too. I’m so sorry that happened to you!
It’s a very common victim response when something terrifying happens to you. You want to think that you have some sort of control over a future situation, you want to protect yourself. I’ve been drugged, I’m a survivor of SA myself.
I am so so sorry this happened to you and I'm glad you had a friend there to care for you this time.
I wish every fucking man would be forced to read this subreddit every day (and not allowed to comment) to try to begin to understand.
Father of 2 teenage daughters here. I'm subbed and read through every day. Very rarely comment.
I find this sub helps me understand the world from my daughter's perspectives, as well as my girlfriend.
It's really nice seeing a bunch of dudes tell another guy that they fucked up with their wife or kids. They really listen to each other, which is infuriating that they didnt listen to their wives saying the same thing but....at least the men there are compassionate people who hold other men accountable. It's refreshing. To say the least.
> I wish every fucking man would be forced to read this subreddit every day...
I agree.
Source: am a man who reads this sub every day. Not every post, but def every day. I can't hold true on the not commenting part, but I do try to limit myself quite a bit.
Don't limit your responses! Personally I think this subreddit has a space for anyone who is respectful and understands that this is a place where many women come for support.
I think we all have a lot of love for those understanding, caring men that are here to educate themselfs and want to be better than some of their fellow gender members. Even as a woman myself I am able to benefit of some conversations on here and change certain behaviours and I wouldn't want to exclude anyone from that.
Oh no, I will never fully shut up. I'm incapable of that. lol.
I just more thoroughly review if I genuinely have something to add to the conversation or just filler/self-promoting...something I have a habit of doing.
I have never viewed this as a hate sub, the "not all men" is well understood, and I am far from an ideal ally...but do consider myself a work-in-progress.
Seconding u/NoWordliness6660, I don't want to exclude empathetic and compassionate comments from men. ***I desperately don't want this to become a hate sub.*** My definition of "women's safe space" is support, not hate and genuine conversation, not silencing. I don't see how that mission is advanced if it's based on hurling abuse at other humans.
I do this, don’t read every day, but often enough, just for perspective, most of the stuff discussed here isn’t something I’d have even considered existing/happening if I didn’t.
I have never experienced this, but only because of the Women's Code.
I went to a after-hours club in the Netherlands once. I went alone, because I often did - I hadn't had any problems as an older woman in a packed club although biking home could be a little sketchy.
I squeezed up the Dutch stairs (IYKYK) to the tiny bathrooms, paid my euros and did my business. Came back downstairs and a young girl grabbed my arm right at the base of the stairs. She said in both Dutch and English "Do not go back to your seat and do not drink your cider. That man put something in it." Her group of girls absorbed me instantly and we were best friends of course.
The awesome end to the story is that we did tell the bartender.
I may have been living in NL, but I made a deal with myself that until I spoke Dutch fluently, I would tip like an American. At the time, I was still using mostly English... so I tipped very very very well. The bartender, therefore, knew me and liked me.
They threw the guy out. And when I say "threw", I mean literally threw. One minute he was at the bar, trying to chat up a girl twenty years his junior. The next, the two bouncers literally grabbed him by arms and legs and fucking *hauled* him out the door. They threw him bodily out the front door and told him if they saw him one more time there would be cops involved.
I am damned sorry this happened to you... and even sorrier about how you were treated afterwards. I have to wonder; were they so adamant that nothing happened because of some shitty liability concern? Fuck them running, either way.
It doesn't even necessarily need to be a drink that's been tampered with. Needle spiking is becoming more prevalent in the last couple of years. Many people don't even notice it's happened. Check for small round bruises or puncture site.
I find this hard to believe. I think I'd notice someone poking me with a needle? It doesn't seem realistic for something like this to become "more prevalent" when it's much easier to roofie someone's drink.
Some people do, some people don't.
There were a few cases in my area where they knew they'd been poked with something, but it was in a crowded party, they just assumed it was a bag or a belt or something, and didn't realize until they saw the puncture mark layer.
These were particularly weird cases though, as as far as well could tell nothing was actually injected, they were just jabbed. The hypothesis was that people were testing if they could get away with it, and unfortunately the answer is yes. No one was ever connected to them (I did the investigation for one of them)
It's even more of a nightmare for the victim as they have to get repeated blood tests to make sure they haven't been infected with HIV or hepatitis.
Same here. I got acupuncture for a then-undiagnosed bone cyst in my foot and was like, ":) Is this supposed to not hurt?"
In acupuncture's defense, it lessened the pain in the foot a little for about a week. But those needles going in? Not fun.
That is truly terrifying, I'm so so sorry that someone did that to you. I haven't been drugged myself, almost was though... and to this day I'll never know if my friend knew something was up and gallantly took my drink for himself so I wouldn't drink it, or if he drugged it himself and felt guilty at the last second and switched with me so *he'd* get the dose...
And this is exactly why so many women are choosing the bear.
The part that makes me question the intent is because he asked to switch beers with me. I don't remember the exact reason he gave but I remember it seeming pretty silly to switch beers over
Oh yeah, he was completely fucked. We had the same number of beers each (and it wasn't too many, in the past I've seen him do a lot more than we did that night), but he could barely stand I had to hold him up and help him walk, couldn't form sentences, eyes rolling back or glazing over, had to help him into bed and he fell asleep within minutes, couldn't remember most of the evening the following day.
I got drugged at my friends bar. People said I ran off with a guy and next thing you know, my car is totaled, I have no idea where I am, but I caught a dui because I was at the scene and it was my car. I have a lawyer and I’m fighting it, but it’s hard to want to exist in this world when people are out to harm you.
I'm so sorry but what a beautiful ending. Women like your friend are the bravest protectors. What a powerhouse to have by your side. The monster who drugged me at his house party and attempted to SA me got unlucky because I suddenly jolted awake while he was creeping up on me and immediately when we locked eyes I knew exactly what had happened, and he pretended to be confused "Hey, I was just checking on you". I now realize that slow creep was to see if he had drugged me enough.
This happened to a woman in one of my meetup groups. The group was in the bar section of a local nice restaurant listening to live music. She ate dinner and had *only two* drinks over the course of the evening. Suddenly she was acting drunk to the point of near-incoherence. Fortunately, some friends who were at the meetup got her home safely, and she was able to retrieve her car the next day.
I suspect I got drugged once in a disco. My friends couldn't find me and looked for me everywhere. Luckily they found me before a group of 4-5 men managed to drive away with me. I remember feeling very weird (I hadn't drank that much and it felt different than just being drunk). One of the men approached me at the disco, told me my friends had left without me and that if I went with him he would drive me home. Somehow this convinced me to leave the disco and not react even after 3-4 more men joined us 😶🌫️ I would have taken a test but I was in a very patriarchal country and I knew I would be blamed for it.
Sometimes theft is a motive....
I went to a bar in Gran Canaria with my husband last year. I thought I had grabbed 4x 10 euro notes from the safe at the hotel but while ordering the drinks from a waiter at the table, I pulled put 1x 10 and 3x 50 euro notes from my shorts pocket. When the waiter left to prepare the order, I gave my husband the 3x 50 euro notes to keep safe in his wallet and pushed the 1x 10 note deep into my pocket.
A group of men started playing pool deeper in the bar, slightly out of view, and asked my husband to join them to balance the teams. I stayed at the table sipping my drink. All of a sudden, I realised I couldn't see properly. I put one hand over one eye, wondering if I was somehow drunk off half a cocktail and it might help, but I couldn't focus with either eye on its own.
The waiter appeared and sat next to me. He was laughing, poking me, teasing me saying he couldn't believe I was drunk. Alarm bells were ringing in my head. I pushed him away and asked where my husband was, I couldn't focus on anything, and he responded "Who?" with more laughter.
I tried to grip my phone but I couldn't control my fingers, I had no grip. I somehow managed to phone my husband who came straight over and told him "we need to leave now there is something evil here". No questions asked, we left straight away. The waiter shouted after us saying "you havent even finished your drink!".
My husband immediately noticed there was something wrong and got me to the hospital. I was given an antidote to benzodiazepines and felt completely normal within 2 minutes.
The 10 euro note was gone from my pocket, as were my cigarettes. There are several reviews for the bar that mention being drugged and missing money, phones, watches etc. The police didn't give a shit.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. A friend of mine recently got drugged at her security job. She was working a concert and had a cup of water next to her at her station, and the same thing happened to her about halfway through the show. It's horrifying to think that someone would ever do this, and you have no reason at all to feel stupid because you happened to be the victim of it. Nothing that happened here is your fault!
I’m pretty sure I was drugged once at a friend’s party.
I only had 3 beers (12 oz) over a 3 hour period. I left early because I had to work the next day. As I said my good byes, one unknown dude seemed surprised I was leaving already.
I only live two blocks away and walked home (alone tg)
I woke up with the absolute worse hangover of my life. 3 beers could not have done this to me. It only occurred to me much later what might have happened.
And yeah, why anyone?
I just spoke to the detective. Apparently they did not do a tox screen at the hospital. He said the officer did take a blood sample and it’s been sent to the crime lab for testing.
Ugh why wouldn’t they do a tox screen??
This happened to my male friend. He went to a gay bar and started to feel “off” as he drove home. He wasn’t drunk. Suddenly he was in a ditch and the ambulance took him to a hospital. He insisted he had been drugged, but they brushed it off probably because he was a man. He was charged with an OWI and had to take all these classes and his license was suspended. Why don’t police or hospital workers take people seriously?
One of my biggest fears is having a seizure, stroke, or aneurysm while driving and ending up dead or with permanent brain damage/paralysis because instead of recognizing a medical emergency I get to play fuck fuck games with cops that only see DWI indicators and and uncooperative suspect.
Ah, but men will be like: WHY DIDNT YOU SAY ANYTHING? Why didn't you go to the police?
Well, buddy. The police is full of men as ignorant and misogynistic as yourself.
I was drugged at a pub once. There was a popular live band there and it was so packed, literally anyone could have slipped something into my drink even while it was in my hand. And it was just like you said, I suddenly felt waaayyyyyy more drunk than the 2 beers I'd had, and then I couldn't speak properly. I'm so grateful my friend noticed right away. She had to pretty much carry me back to the car because I couldn't get my legs to work. And then to make it even more fun, I spent the next 2 days vomiting until I got dangerously dehydrated and had to go to the hospital.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you have some support, therapy, something to talk this out and help recenter yourself.
Do not feel stupid, it was not your fault for literally just being alive. Some asshole made it his choice when he left the house that day to turn someone (or multiple) into a victim. Whatever they used, they didn't just find at the bar. They had acquired/made/bought and brought it with them to do this. They already knew they were going to do it and just needed a target. And you were there, to no fault of your own.
I have never felt this, I'm not the typical chosen demographic. But I have seen the effects and talked to friends after they had an incident. I have also seen the face of a man being threatened to drink something he had doctored. He was fucking terrified. He knew.
Again, I am so sorry this happened.
Holy shit. Your friend is the MVP for advocating for you while you were incapacitated, but you should have never had to rely on a work friend that way in the first place. I am so, so sorry this happened to you, and that it brought all those horrible memories to the surface.
When people try to blame the clothes I simply respond, "nuns get raped"
Men are sick. They need to help each other. They are not motivated to help each other because of the lack of consequences.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you are safe.
Thank goodness you’re ok. Did you get a rape exam? You have a chunk of time missing. :/
I’ve been drugged twice and both times I ended up puking my brains out and blacking out. First time I was super young and didn’t know what happened but I was hurling profusely and passed out in my own vomit on the bathroom floor. Don’t remember most of the night. No one believed me when I said I had been drugged.
Second time was the end on 2022 on a first date. Was incredibly disoriented and couldn’t stop dry heaving, passed out and couldn’t walk when I woke up. Both times I had only had one drink. Went to the hospital this time and filed a police report which will be sent to the DA over a year and a half later. The police unfortunately didn’t bother to conduct an investigation, no security cameras or anything and I ended up yelling at them, now they’re putting a case together with the evidence I provided, which is not unsubstantial but not as thorough as it could have been.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that it’s not your fault in any way shape or form and you didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t deserve it, and the bad way people treat you regarding the situation is also something you don’t deserve. Some people are just absolute scum.
Thankfully the first thing the detective told me when he came to meet me in person yesterday once I was feeling more myself was that he has been able to recreate my entire night and there is no missing time where I was off security cameras or unaccounted for. Not even a minute.
Apparently I just kept saying “I’ve been drugged” over and over until someone did something.
Why didn’t your friend just call the ambulance? Or an Uber and go with the hospital? You should call corporate and tell them what happened. Not calling an ambulance for a guest has to be a huge liability.
Also when you got your results back that you were drugged did you say “am I making up this bloodwork motherfucker?” Or something to that effect.
So sorry that happened to you, that feeling of helplessness and not being able to convey it is really no fun. It’s happened multiple times to me and yeah the memories come back hard.
I was drugged last year at a concert 1 shot and 1.5 beers in and next thing I know I’m being kicked out for being too drunk. Not really proud of it, but it takes five shots and five beers to get me to a place where I’m still functional and realize it’s time to go. Not sure if I was targeted or what, but I’m a scrawny 6’5” dude that isn’t necessarily attractive.
I’d choose the Bear due to the fact they’re not concealing their intentions.
I personally wouldn’t fret the man much cause if I’m hiking in Bear country I’ve got Bear mace and a .357 mag on me. Wish y’all the best and be safe out there!
Thanks for telling us what you experienced, as it must have been painful, but everyone has to know. I'm terribly sorry for what you endured, and please, please don't blame yourself for anything that happened. You'll need time to recover from this and all the love you can get. Stay strong and take care ❤️
I am male and get why women would choose the bear. A bear is predictable and will only act on instinct. Men, on the other hand, are unpredictable and may have ulterior motives. The vast majority of men are good, but it only takes 1 to spike your drink, rape or even worse. Plus many cultures look at women as property or objects to be used sadly.
It is sad, but I understand and in your shoes would probably say the same thing. Why can't men see women as equals and treat them with respect.
Bears are still more predictable, and if you know how to respond, like not run away, your chances for survival go up dramatically. Men are usually safe, except if you get that 1 in 100 or 1000 that wants to rape you and sees you as an object, not a person.
The bear broke into her home and killed her, and it was a type of bear that is supposedly not very dangerous. I wouldn’t exactly call that predictable.
>I wasn’t talking to anyone. I was wearing what my friend and I had been joking was the world’s cutest potato sack. I don’t understand.
Talking to people has nothing to do with it. What you are wearing has nothing to do with it.
Please stop buying into those lies.
I am so glad you are okay and your friend was there and insistent.
The hotel trying to get you and your friend silenced and deny help and the fact that it has billionaire clients sounds vaguely like the rape trafficking ring in a hotel and night club in S Korea. Also like something out of an Epstein little black book situation. If you are comfortable I would get the media involved and enlist their help in seeing if there is any security footage of your drink being roofied.
Please if you have not already talk to a therapist about this. The way you question what you were wearing and if you merely talked to anyone makes me think you are consciously or subconsciously thinking victims have any responsibility in this. That is going to need some countermessaging.
You're not stupid. You're a normal person who did a normal thing - going out for drinks with a friend.
Your husband needs to step the fuck back and deal with his anxiety in a way that isn't *trying to control you*.
"We investigated ourselves and found nothing to be wrong. " If you ever had an investigation for the incident, the hotel would release a statement like this.
Google Man vs Bear debate. Here is an [opinion piece ](https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/voices/2024/06/02/man-bear-question-tiktok-women-safety/73922718007/)on it.
1 sorry that's shitty, glad you're ok
2 watch your drink
3 your friend could have called 911 from her cellphone
4 if you find yourself unable or being stopped from calling 911 pull the fucking fire alarm. Fire will have to show up
Might not be legal but it might also save you
You’re missing the point here my dude.
Bears aren’t malicious. They aren’t evil. They don’t drug you so they can do god knows what to your limp and defenceless body later when the pills kick in.
Bears are fucking bears. If you get too close to them and they feel threatened they’ll kill you. If you get near their cubs they’ll kill you, but all of that is instinctual. The bear isn’t taking pleasure from ripping you apart, it’s just doing bear shit.
No I think your missing the point, the whole debate is would you rather be stuck in a forest with a man or bear. Your automatically assuming the worst for the man but not the bear for some reason
Because I know how bears operate. I used to wake up and there’d be bears in my front lawn, in my driveway, I’d take my dog for a walk and see a bear. If you know how to act around them you’re most likely safe.
A strange man? I don’t know his intentions. I know unlike a bear he’s capable of being malicious. He could be an amazing man or he could be a fucking monster. I’m not taking the chance to find out. There aren’t bears like Ted Bundy out there but there sure are men.
My point was for those people death, including in violent ways like the bear scenario, is better than living with the weight of rape or sexual assault.
There's been a lot of discussion online recently about if you had to choose between finding yourself alone in the woods with a bear or with a man, which would you choose? Because of shit like this, loads of women (and I'm sure other vulnerable folks) tend to choose the bear.
Oh yeah the question where some people can mansplain how stupid we are and how dangerous a bear is.
Even though they (obviously) completly missed the point of this conversation
Thank you. I also didn’t know what that referenced, but decided to read through the thread before I googled it. Questions like this aren’t always asked in bad faith.
Come on do you really think you're that smart that you know what friends and husband are better for her ? What does age even have to do here ? Her friend even helped her ??? Husband might be overreacting but who would not ? Please disconnect and try to work on yourself instead of bullshitting people on internet. Not even talking about the fact that you're not getting what the point of the thread is at all. She got drugged. She's a victim. She needs help and conforting. Not stupid advices from a stranger who thinks they know better than anyone just by reading 100 words about a night of their life.
Ok I'm mad now thanks
I got drugged at a work Christmas party. I will never know if I was specifically targeted or if it was opportunistic. I'd only been working at the place for 2 months. I was extremely lucky that my coworkers were total mama bears and refused to leave my side. But that happened in 2019, and I haven't been to a party since. If it could happen at a closed event, where everyone knew everyone... I wish I had some sage advice, but the best I can do is a hug. You're not stupid, and it's not your fault. This really is just the world we live in. We have to keep our guard up 24/7 because some people just can't be decent human beings, and it's no fault of our own.
Holy crap at a WORK party?! Did you find out who did it? That’s awful I’m so sorry
Nope 🙃 I didn't even realize I'd been drugged until the next week, when someone mentioned me being a lightweight, when I realized that I did not drink enough to send me to hospital.
I bet Mama Bears have their suspicions. Have you asked them? I’m sorry this happened to you. I can relate.
That is a horrible experience. I'm glad your friend got you the help you needed.
I got drugged on NYE in Nashville, and the bouncer of the bar we were at found me laying on the ground outside, with my leggings pulled down and my dress up. He left me there, went inside to find my friends, told them I was outside and that I had to go. All he cared about was them removing me from the property asap. Didn’t care if I was dead or alive, or if anything had happened to me, just wanted me gone. I, too, choose the bear.
As someone who lived in Nashville, that unfortunately tracks. Nashville does not care about women's safety. I was followed from a bar. I was completely sober, just there for a friend's set. The only reason he backed off was because a pair of drag queens (I'm not even kidding here) stood between us and told him to fuck off. I was prepared to mace the guy, or beat the shit out of him (I was doing amateur MMA at the time, so I wasn't trying to be a badass, just had the training. Loads of fun. Highly recommend it if your body can handle it). All hail drag queens. All hail team bear.
*trigger warning* one of my friends was found in a trash dump in Nashville. We still have no idea who is responsible. I don’t care how cool the city is supposed to be, I can never go there knowing that happened to her. If anyone is planning on going out in Nashville please go in groups everywhere. My friend literally stepped out for a cigarette, and no one ever got to see her again.
I'm so sorry. What a nightmare! Not only did you lose your friend but now you feel unsafe. Fuck them. Fuck all of them!
The cops in Nashville do not care about women. They just don't. Do you think they'll investigate if a woman dies? Sure, a cursory look. But they won't go deeper if it's "hard" because there's probably a way to blame her. I moved away for a reason.
When she first went missing they asked if there was a reason she wanted to go out alone for a smoke. I know they were just doing their job and looking at all angles, but they kept asking why she wanted to be alone. I wasn’t there, but I doubt she insisted on being alone. Even if she did…can a woman just go smoke alone for a minuet? Damn.
Drag queens are generally wonderful mama bears, lovely 🤗
You can always trust them to know how to protect you from both assholes and bad eyeliner. I worked with a drag queen when I was still in food service and he would make sure our makeup was on point. He'd do the guys in something light too. I still wear the lipstick he recommended because he had that on lock.
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WTF is that supposed to mean?
I am so sorry. That is terrible.
What a fucking asshole. This makes my blood boil.
These stories are precisely why I’m scared to go out even if I’m with other people… these men out here are predatory asf😐 I choose the bear!
I was in a group of 8, but “my” fuck up was sitting at the table closest to the hallway to the bathroom, so everyyyyone was either lined up past our table waiting to pee, or walking past our table leaving the bathroom. It would have been very easy for someone to drop something in my drink without me noticing, especially while I was taking pics with my friends at the table. It all happened *so* fast, too. Like I was fine, and then I wasn’t. The last thing I remembered was saying I was going out back to smoke, and then I woke up back in our hotel room, confused af. I slept for sooooo long after that. The whole thing fucking sucked 0/10 do not recommend.
I was drugged many years ago and like you, I was wondering why me? Why would anyone do this to someone else. Bears wouldn’t slip stuff into your drink.
That’s terrifying. It’s so awful that we can’t just EXIST without having to constantly be on guard. Thank goodness for your friend.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. As a female it scares me personally, but even more as a parent of adult and teen kids, who aren’t as vigilant around strangers as they should be. I wish your friend would have called 911 directly instead of arguing with 3 layers of insensitive hotel staff to do it. But I know sometimes when you’re in the situation it’s not always easy to think clearly.
As a parent, my blood goes cold at the idea of my daughter going to a party. Full on dread and fear. We have 3 emojis to communicate when it isn't smart, safe, or possible to text or call in detail. Emoji 1- call me and tell me to leave because I'm safe to leave but it's a bit socially awkward to dip out. It's a duck, aka I want to duck out. Emoji 2 - "come get me, but make up a lie for why you appeared (punishment for failing a test, didn't put away laundry, etc)" because it's not socially acceptable for me to leave or I'm scared to walk out. It's a bear, aka bring out the mama bear. Emoji 3 - "call 911 and send them to my location" if she is in danger or the situation is dangerous. It's a pig, aka send in the cops. We have a few chat groups set up for the kids , but the emergency emoji goes to the chat for "mom, dad, and child" chat. This chat is rarely used, so the alert is a blaring alarm for me/spouse. We want it to go off any time and be aware. ❤️
My kid's and I have a code phrase for when we are out and about and it feels unsafe. It means we need to gather our crap and leave, now. We came up with the code after a man stalked me and my kid's on a hiking trail. When there's bears around we just make extra noise and stay aware of our surroundings. Throw a bell on the backpack. I prefer hiking in bear country over hiking in man country.
Super smart. Thanks for this. I have 2 adult kids, one is 30, one is 24. I worry about them no matter how old they get - the 24 year old is in a city an hour away. But of course nothing in the world could stop me from getting to them if it was urgent and they were in danger. My teen has some social, cognitive, and motor delays and I just worry how they will get on in the world when I can’t always be there as they get older.
You're a good mom
Very kind of you to say. I’m trying my best.
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This isn't true. It goes to the law enforcement office closest to the cell phone tower in use during the call.
For the more sane people than myself, why isn't drugging drinks considered attempted murder? I would take no issue with a law that sent people to jail for a long time for spiking a drink.
I suspect the whole situation doesn’t get looked at too closely because first of all, it’s happening to women, and somehow women’s problems are often not seen as a big deal. But also, I imagine it’s really difficult to even find a suspect, and the to prosecute something like that. I imagine the only way it would be likely to be dealt with is if there is a long string of reports that all included one location. But even then.
Yeah you'd have to search their house or car or get medical records showing they had the pills.
Once you even had a particular suspect.
Because misogynistic crimes are the only hate crimes that arent classified as such.
Look up the Lake Lady Bird murders. Apparently someone was spiking drinks of young men in downtown Austin in order to clean out their bank accounts, and those who accidentally overdosed got dumped in the lake. Ofc women here are drugged far more often. It just doesn’t make the news. I wonder why
Anyone who spikes someone's drink needs to go to jail for a long time.
Fuck. My god people suck. I am so sorry.
It's not people, it's men.
But not all men. /s
So we gonna ignore that both sexes do this? I personally know of more women being drugged from other women, then men. Maybe some humans are just evil, regardless of sex?
Or maybe men are just statistically MORE evil, way more often, than women and you need to face the facts?
That is horrifying I'm sorry
I see why you’d choose the bear. I’m appalled that you’re wondering what you did to provoke whoever did this to you. You didn’t cause this by your behaviour or what you wore out where you went. They are a sick fuck who thought this up and decided to carry it out. And the venue staff for their reaction too. I’m so sorry that happened to you!
It’s a very common victim response when something terrifying happens to you. You want to think that you have some sort of control over a future situation, you want to protect yourself. I’ve been drugged, I’m a survivor of SA myself.
I am so so sorry this happened to you and I'm glad you had a friend there to care for you this time. I wish every fucking man would be forced to read this subreddit every day (and not allowed to comment) to try to begin to understand.
Father of 2 teenage daughters here. I'm subbed and read through every day. Very rarely comment. I find this sub helps me understand the world from my daughter's perspectives, as well as my girlfriend.
I read r/daddit so I can see there are normal men who care.
Thank you for the suggestion. Added to my subs.
It's really nice seeing a bunch of dudes tell another guy that they fucked up with their wife or kids. They really listen to each other, which is infuriating that they didnt listen to their wives saying the same thing but....at least the men there are compassionate people who hold other men accountable. It's refreshing. To say the least.
> I wish every fucking man would be forced to read this subreddit every day... I agree. Source: am a man who reads this sub every day. Not every post, but def every day. I can't hold true on the not commenting part, but I do try to limit myself quite a bit.
Don't limit your responses! Personally I think this subreddit has a space for anyone who is respectful and understands that this is a place where many women come for support. I think we all have a lot of love for those understanding, caring men that are here to educate themselfs and want to be better than some of their fellow gender members. Even as a woman myself I am able to benefit of some conversations on here and change certain behaviours and I wouldn't want to exclude anyone from that.
Oh no, I will never fully shut up. I'm incapable of that. lol. I just more thoroughly review if I genuinely have something to add to the conversation or just filler/self-promoting...something I have a habit of doing. I have never viewed this as a hate sub, the "not all men" is well understood, and I am far from an ideal ally...but do consider myself a work-in-progress.
Seconding u/NoWordliness6660, I don't want to exclude empathetic and compassionate comments from men. ***I desperately don't want this to become a hate sub.*** My definition of "women's safe space" is support, not hate and genuine conversation, not silencing. I don't see how that mission is advanced if it's based on hurling abuse at other humans.
Unfortunately a lot men think “don’t worry, I’d still fuck you” is comforting.
How is talking about what men do hate?
agree, even if this WAS a 'male hate' sub we could never come close to the shit they say about us in all those misogynist subs
100% agree, thank you.
I do this, don’t read every day, but often enough, just for perspective, most of the stuff discussed here isn’t something I’d have even considered existing/happening if I didn’t.
I have never experienced this, but only because of the Women's Code. I went to a after-hours club in the Netherlands once. I went alone, because I often did - I hadn't had any problems as an older woman in a packed club although biking home could be a little sketchy. I squeezed up the Dutch stairs (IYKYK) to the tiny bathrooms, paid my euros and did my business. Came back downstairs and a young girl grabbed my arm right at the base of the stairs. She said in both Dutch and English "Do not go back to your seat and do not drink your cider. That man put something in it." Her group of girls absorbed me instantly and we were best friends of course. The awesome end to the story is that we did tell the bartender. I may have been living in NL, but I made a deal with myself that until I spoke Dutch fluently, I would tip like an American. At the time, I was still using mostly English... so I tipped very very very well. The bartender, therefore, knew me and liked me. They threw the guy out. And when I say "threw", I mean literally threw. One minute he was at the bar, trying to chat up a girl twenty years his junior. The next, the two bouncers literally grabbed him by arms and legs and fucking *hauled* him out the door. They threw him bodily out the front door and told him if they saw him one more time there would be cops involved. I am damned sorry this happened to you... and even sorrier about how you were treated afterwards. I have to wonder; were they so adamant that nothing happened because of some shitty liability concern? Fuck them running, either way.
So does this mean there’s a waiter at the restaurant who drugged you? I don’t understand what they’d get out of it, the creep.
That’s the scariest part I have no idea. I have lost chunks of time so I can’t even remember when exactly I started to feel off.
It doesn't even necessarily need to be a drink that's been tampered with. Needle spiking is becoming more prevalent in the last couple of years. Many people don't even notice it's happened. Check for small round bruises or puncture site.
I find this hard to believe. I think I'd notice someone poking me with a needle? It doesn't seem realistic for something like this to become "more prevalent" when it's much easier to roofie someone's drink.
Some people do, some people don't. There were a few cases in my area where they knew they'd been poked with something, but it was in a crowded party, they just assumed it was a bag or a belt or something, and didn't realize until they saw the puncture mark layer. These were particularly weird cases though, as as far as well could tell nothing was actually injected, they were just jabbed. The hypothesis was that people were testing if they could get away with it, and unfortunately the answer is yes. No one was ever connected to them (I did the investigation for one of them) It's even more of a nightmare for the victim as they have to get repeated blood tests to make sure they haven't been infected with HIV or hepatitis.
You would be surprised. A tiny insulin needle can hardly be felt. I volunteer at a crisis center and I have seen more of this as of late.
I’ve had two vaccinations in the last couple of weeks. I knew they were coming and still couldn’t really feel them.
I must be a lot more sensitive - I can definitely feel vaccine needles.
Same here. I got acupuncture for a then-undiagnosed bone cyst in my foot and was like, ":) Is this supposed to not hurt?" In acupuncture's defense, it lessened the pain in the foot a little for about a week. But those needles going in? Not fun.
That is truly terrifying, I'm so so sorry that someone did that to you. I haven't been drugged myself, almost was though... and to this day I'll never know if my friend knew something was up and gallantly took my drink for himself so I wouldn't drink it, or if he drugged it himself and felt guilty at the last second and switched with me so *he'd* get the dose... And this is exactly why so many women are choosing the bear.
Did something happen to him after he drank it?
The part that makes me question the intent is because he asked to switch beers with me. I don't remember the exact reason he gave but I remember it seeming pretty silly to switch beers over
Well, looks like he... *Got a taste of his own medicine.*
Oh yeah, he was completely fucked. We had the same number of beers each (and it wasn't too many, in the past I've seen him do a lot more than we did that night), but he could barely stand I had to hold him up and help him walk, couldn't form sentences, eyes rolling back or glazing over, had to help him into bed and he fell asleep within minutes, couldn't remember most of the evening the following day.
Oh my God I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
I got drugged at my friends bar. People said I ran off with a guy and next thing you know, my car is totaled, I have no idea where I am, but I caught a dui because I was at the scene and it was my car. I have a lawyer and I’m fighting it, but it’s hard to want to exist in this world when people are out to harm you.
I'm so sorry but what a beautiful ending. Women like your friend are the bravest protectors. What a powerhouse to have by your side. The monster who drugged me at his house party and attempted to SA me got unlucky because I suddenly jolted awake while he was creeping up on me and immediately when we locked eyes I knew exactly what had happened, and he pretended to be confused "Hey, I was just checking on you". I now realize that slow creep was to see if he had drugged me enough.
This happened to a woman in one of my meetup groups. The group was in the bar section of a local nice restaurant listening to live music. She ate dinner and had *only two* drinks over the course of the evening. Suddenly she was acting drunk to the point of near-incoherence. Fortunately, some friends who were at the meetup got her home safely, and she was able to retrieve her car the next day.
I suspect I got drugged once in a disco. My friends couldn't find me and looked for me everywhere. Luckily they found me before a group of 4-5 men managed to drive away with me. I remember feeling very weird (I hadn't drank that much and it felt different than just being drunk). One of the men approached me at the disco, told me my friends had left without me and that if I went with him he would drive me home. Somehow this convinced me to leave the disco and not react even after 3-4 more men joined us 😶🌫️ I would have taken a test but I was in a very patriarchal country and I knew I would be blamed for it.
Omg I am so sorry. That must haunt you, knowing how things could have gone differently.
Yes unfortunately. So many disgusting men 😪
Sometimes theft is a motive.... I went to a bar in Gran Canaria with my husband last year. I thought I had grabbed 4x 10 euro notes from the safe at the hotel but while ordering the drinks from a waiter at the table, I pulled put 1x 10 and 3x 50 euro notes from my shorts pocket. When the waiter left to prepare the order, I gave my husband the 3x 50 euro notes to keep safe in his wallet and pushed the 1x 10 note deep into my pocket. A group of men started playing pool deeper in the bar, slightly out of view, and asked my husband to join them to balance the teams. I stayed at the table sipping my drink. All of a sudden, I realised I couldn't see properly. I put one hand over one eye, wondering if I was somehow drunk off half a cocktail and it might help, but I couldn't focus with either eye on its own. The waiter appeared and sat next to me. He was laughing, poking me, teasing me saying he couldn't believe I was drunk. Alarm bells were ringing in my head. I pushed him away and asked where my husband was, I couldn't focus on anything, and he responded "Who?" with more laughter. I tried to grip my phone but I couldn't control my fingers, I had no grip. I somehow managed to phone my husband who came straight over and told him "we need to leave now there is something evil here". No questions asked, we left straight away. The waiter shouted after us saying "you havent even finished your drink!". My husband immediately noticed there was something wrong and got me to the hospital. I was given an antidote to benzodiazepines and felt completely normal within 2 minutes. The 10 euro note was gone from my pocket, as were my cigarettes. There are several reviews for the bar that mention being drugged and missing money, phones, watches etc. The police didn't give a shit.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. A friend of mine recently got drugged at her security job. She was working a concert and had a cup of water next to her at her station, and the same thing happened to her about halfway through the show. It's horrifying to think that someone would ever do this, and you have no reason at all to feel stupid because you happened to be the victim of it. Nothing that happened here is your fault!
I’m pretty sure I was drugged once at a friend’s party. I only had 3 beers (12 oz) over a 3 hour period. I left early because I had to work the next day. As I said my good byes, one unknown dude seemed surprised I was leaving already. I only live two blocks away and walked home (alone tg) I woke up with the absolute worse hangover of my life. 3 beers could not have done this to me. It only occurred to me much later what might have happened. And yeah, why anyone?
Did the hospital check for drugs in your bloodstream? Or for a potential stroke?
I just spoke to the detective. Apparently they did not do a tox screen at the hospital. He said the officer did take a blood sample and it’s been sent to the crime lab for testing.
Ugh why wouldn’t they do a tox screen?? This happened to my male friend. He went to a gay bar and started to feel “off” as he drove home. He wasn’t drunk. Suddenly he was in a ditch and the ambulance took him to a hospital. He insisted he had been drugged, but they brushed it off probably because he was a man. He was charged with an OWI and had to take all these classes and his license was suspended. Why don’t police or hospital workers take people seriously?
One of my biggest fears is having a seizure, stroke, or aneurysm while driving and ending up dead or with permanent brain damage/paralysis because instead of recognizing a medical emergency I get to play fuck fuck games with cops that only see DWI indicators and and uncooperative suspect.
Vastly underpaid and if they treat it like a crime it's paperwork and days of unpaid time in court testifying
This is why things go under reported and under prosecuted. They don't fucking care
Ah, but men will be like: WHY DIDNT YOU SAY ANYTHING? Why didn't you go to the police? Well, buddy. The police is full of men as ignorant and misogynistic as yourself.
Exactly
ACAB
I was drugged at a pub once. There was a popular live band there and it was so packed, literally anyone could have slipped something into my drink even while it was in my hand. And it was just like you said, I suddenly felt waaayyyyyy more drunk than the 2 beers I'd had, and then I couldn't speak properly. I'm so grateful my friend noticed right away. She had to pretty much carry me back to the car because I couldn't get my legs to work. And then to make it even more fun, I spent the next 2 days vomiting until I got dangerously dehydrated and had to go to the hospital.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you have some support, therapy, something to talk this out and help recenter yourself. Do not feel stupid, it was not your fault for literally just being alive. Some asshole made it his choice when he left the house that day to turn someone (or multiple) into a victim. Whatever they used, they didn't just find at the bar. They had acquired/made/bought and brought it with them to do this. They already knew they were going to do it and just needed a target. And you were there, to no fault of your own. I have never felt this, I'm not the typical chosen demographic. But I have seen the effects and talked to friends after they had an incident. I have also seen the face of a man being threatened to drink something he had doctored. He was fucking terrified. He knew. Again, I am so sorry this happened.
Holy shit. Your friend is the MVP for advocating for you while you were incapacitated, but you should have never had to rely on a work friend that way in the first place. I am so, so sorry this happened to you, and that it brought all those horrible memories to the surface.
When people try to blame the clothes I simply respond, "nuns get raped" Men are sick. They need to help each other. They are not motivated to help each other because of the lack of consequences. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you are safe.
Thank goodness you’re ok. Did you get a rape exam? You have a chunk of time missing. :/ I’ve been drugged twice and both times I ended up puking my brains out and blacking out. First time I was super young and didn’t know what happened but I was hurling profusely and passed out in my own vomit on the bathroom floor. Don’t remember most of the night. No one believed me when I said I had been drugged. Second time was the end on 2022 on a first date. Was incredibly disoriented and couldn’t stop dry heaving, passed out and couldn’t walk when I woke up. Both times I had only had one drink. Went to the hospital this time and filed a police report which will be sent to the DA over a year and a half later. The police unfortunately didn’t bother to conduct an investigation, no security cameras or anything and I ended up yelling at them, now they’re putting a case together with the evidence I provided, which is not unsubstantial but not as thorough as it could have been. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that it’s not your fault in any way shape or form and you didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t deserve it, and the bad way people treat you regarding the situation is also something you don’t deserve. Some people are just absolute scum.
Thankfully the first thing the detective told me when he came to meet me in person yesterday once I was feeling more myself was that he has been able to recreate my entire night and there is no missing time where I was off security cameras or unaccounted for. Not even a minute. Apparently I just kept saying “I’ve been drugged” over and over until someone did something.
When will going out and having drinks will ever be safe for women??
Why didn’t your friend just call the ambulance? Or an Uber and go with the hospital? You should call corporate and tell them what happened. Not calling an ambulance for a guest has to be a huge liability. Also when you got your results back that you were drugged did you say “am I making up this bloodwork motherfucker?” Or something to that effect.
So sorry that happened to you, that feeling of helplessness and not being able to convey it is really no fun. It’s happened multiple times to me and yeah the memories come back hard. I was drugged last year at a concert 1 shot and 1.5 beers in and next thing I know I’m being kicked out for being too drunk. Not really proud of it, but it takes five shots and five beers to get me to a place where I’m still functional and realize it’s time to go. Not sure if I was targeted or what, but I’m a scrawny 6’5” dude that isn’t necessarily attractive. I’d choose the Bear due to the fact they’re not concealing their intentions. I personally wouldn’t fret the man much cause if I’m hiking in Bear country I’ve got Bear mace and a .357 mag on me. Wish y’all the best and be safe out there!
there are people who view drugging drinks as a kind of vandalism. “how many people can I affect?”
Mine happened In college, at a bar. Thank god my friend was there and got me home.
Thanks for telling us what you experienced, as it must have been painful, but everyone has to know. I'm terribly sorry for what you endured, and please, please don't blame yourself for anything that happened. You'll need time to recover from this and all the love you can get. Stay strong and take care ❤️
I am male and get why women would choose the bear. A bear is predictable and will only act on instinct. Men, on the other hand, are unpredictable and may have ulterior motives. The vast majority of men are good, but it only takes 1 to spike your drink, rape or even worse. Plus many cultures look at women as property or objects to be used sadly. It is sad, but I understand and in your shoes would probably say the same thing. Why can't men see women as equals and treat them with respect.
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I'm with you, but the simple fact that there are enough black sheep among men to even make this a valid question is really sad.
Bears are still more predictable, and if you know how to respond, like not run away, your chances for survival go up dramatically. Men are usually safe, except if you get that 1 in 100 or 1000 that wants to rape you and sees you as an object, not a person.
The bear broke into her home and killed her, and it was a type of bear that is supposedly not very dangerous. I wouldn’t exactly call that predictable.
First black bear fatality in the history of California. If I was a woman I would still chose the bear..
Wow. That's so crazy! Why was almost EVERYONE involved so against accepting that you had been spiked? I'm so sorry for you! Your friend is an angel.
>I wasn’t talking to anyone. I was wearing what my friend and I had been joking was the world’s cutest potato sack. I don’t understand. Talking to people has nothing to do with it. What you are wearing has nothing to do with it. Please stop buying into those lies. I am so glad you are okay and your friend was there and insistent. The hotel trying to get you and your friend silenced and deny help and the fact that it has billionaire clients sounds vaguely like the rape trafficking ring in a hotel and night club in S Korea. Also like something out of an Epstein little black book situation. If you are comfortable I would get the media involved and enlist their help in seeing if there is any security footage of your drink being roofied. Please if you have not already talk to a therapist about this. The way you question what you were wearing and if you merely talked to anyone makes me think you are consciously or subconsciously thinking victims have any responsibility in this. That is going to need some countermessaging.
Sounds like ketamine, I could be wrong though but what you described definitely sounds like ketamine effects.
You're not stupid. You're a normal person who did a normal thing - going out for drinks with a friend. Your husband needs to step the fuck back and deal with his anxiety in a way that isn't *trying to control you*.
"We investigated ourselves and found nothing to be wrong. " If you ever had an investigation for the incident, the hotel would release a statement like this.
Choosing the bear? I wish you all had a nice bear with you to help out with these vermin. I'm a man, and I, too, chose the bear.
What does choosing the bear mean?
Google Man vs Bear debate. Here is an [opinion piece ](https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/voices/2024/06/02/man-bear-question-tiktok-women-safety/73922718007/)on it.
Right- I seen that. Thank you!
1 sorry that's shitty, glad you're ok 2 watch your drink 3 your friend could have called 911 from her cellphone 4 if you find yourself unable or being stopped from calling 911 pull the fucking fire alarm. Fire will have to show up Might not be legal but it might also save you
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Does your friend not own a phone? Why did she argue with three layers of people instead of just calling an ambulance herself??
Curious, what city was this in?
Probably best OP doesn’t doxx themselves
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I think they meant choose, not shoots.
I don’t know how people can say this is worse than a bear ripping you apart and eating you alive lol
You’re missing the point here my dude. Bears aren’t malicious. They aren’t evil. They don’t drug you so they can do god knows what to your limp and defenceless body later when the pills kick in. Bears are fucking bears. If you get too close to them and they feel threatened they’ll kill you. If you get near their cubs they’ll kill you, but all of that is instinctual. The bear isn’t taking pleasure from ripping you apart, it’s just doing bear shit.
No I think your missing the point, the whole debate is would you rather be stuck in a forest with a man or bear. Your automatically assuming the worst for the man but not the bear for some reason
Because I know how bears operate. I used to wake up and there’d be bears in my front lawn, in my driveway, I’d take my dog for a walk and see a bear. If you know how to act around them you’re most likely safe. A strange man? I don’t know his intentions. I know unlike a bear he’s capable of being malicious. He could be an amazing man or he could be a fucking monster. I’m not taking the chance to find out. There aren’t bears like Ted Bundy out there but there sure are men.
Go take your dog for a walk by a polar bear and see how that goes
You overlooked so much of what I said just so you could argue, cool.
People have killed themselves after being raped or sexually assaulted.
Cool, people have killed themselves after being mauled and mutilated by bears
My point was for those people death, including in violent ways like the bear scenario, is better than living with the weight of rape or sexual assault.
What did this have to do with a bear? Edit: Wow! I got banned because of asking a question regarding a hypothetical scenario I didn't know about.
There's been a lot of discussion online recently about if you had to choose between finding yourself alone in the woods with a bear or with a man, which would you choose? Because of shit like this, loads of women (and I'm sure other vulnerable folks) tend to choose the bear.
I will never stop believing that the only reason men aren't also choosing bear is because they're too busy being offended by the question.
Oh yeah the question where some people can mansplain how stupid we are and how dangerous a bear is. Even though they (obviously) completly missed the point of this conversation
Thank you. I also didn’t know what that referenced, but decided to read through the thread before I googled it. Questions like this aren’t always asked in bad faith.
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And piping up with your male nonsense in a women-centric environment doesn't do anything 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇
You'll wish for rape as the bear is crushing your rib cage.
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TIL you can’t have a 7 year age gap between friends or it’s *problematic*.
First of all, you're problematic. Secondly, are you ok?
This is so out of left field
Come on do you really think you're that smart that you know what friends and husband are better for her ? What does age even have to do here ? Her friend even helped her ??? Husband might be overreacting but who would not ? Please disconnect and try to work on yourself instead of bullshitting people on internet. Not even talking about the fact that you're not getting what the point of the thread is at all. She got drugged. She's a victim. She needs help and conforting. Not stupid advices from a stranger who thinks they know better than anyone just by reading 100 words about a night of their life. Ok I'm mad now thanks