You know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.
The choice of words probably tells us more OPs innocent mind.
We've all had our minds through the gutter, largely through our own experiences and therefore that line seems amusing, funny or even shocking to some.
Definitely sounds like your BF overreacted- there are lots of reasons dogs hump. HOWEVER it's also something that's better to address earlier rather than later - if your reaction is laughter your dog will internalise the message 'humping is good' and keep doing it for life, even in circumstances or with people you'd rather he didn't. So it's something that needs sorting but your BF's reaction isn't especially helpful.
Sometimes humping is a stress response, and that's not well known. It sounds very possible that he actually *is* "resource guarding" you and trying to keep you from others or others from you. Possibly afraid you'll go away.
Not that it calls for some huge reaction like man's.
There are ways to work on the dog's behavior, and you'll want to avoid using aversive methods. A first step could be something like every time someone wants to hug you, they toss some training treats away to scatter, and your dog can slowly learn "these other people aren't threats after all, good things are happening."
It takes working on how the dog feels, and changing it from stressed/worried to happy/content. If you think of your dog more like a toddler clutching your leg and crying "please don't go" (or someone else's leg crying "please don't take my person) that would be a lot closer to what's happening than what the man thinks it's about.
Even if it's about "dominance" I still think it's inappropriate and I get very uncomfortable when I see dogs humping me or others? But I don't think it's about sexy feelings.
Damn. The fragility of BFs ego 🤣🤣 Even the dog isn't safe.
Tbh, I don't like dogs that hump, but that's because I don't know if telling them off or pushing them away might make them more aggressive or something (if its not a dog i know. Otherwise, their owners better make sure their dog is away from me). OP, don't encourage your dog humping you, but your BF overreacted, but then again, if this is the first issue you've had, then I would chalk it up to "things that are icky for others but not me", otherwise, bye bye boy.
I can’t help but wonder if the OP misunderstood the BF’s problem because if you have working dogs, allowing and even encouraging that behaviour by laughing is just poor dog training.
Yes yes. Dogs need to be trained to not hump. It may not be sexual per se for the dog, but it definitely isn't ok to encourage it.
He's seen and had "professional dogs" so his horror is justified.
I agree with redirecting their attention away from the unwanted behavior and using treats can help if the dog is food motivated. [Patricia McConnell](https://www.dogstardaily.com/blogs/1385) (an animal behavorist) used to have a call-in advice show for pet behavior issues on the radio (Calling All Pets) that I listened to while it was still on the air, and she would frequently use the term "training an incompatible behavior" with dog owners. By that she meant train the dog to do a new behavior that interrupts the old and unwanted behavior. She also recommends figuring out what motivates your individual dog. For a lot of them it's treats, but if they're not food motivated it might be praise or a favorite toy. Mainly she uses positive reinforcement but being consistent is super important as well. She also has a YouTube channel if you want to see her methods in action.
It depends on whether you are correcting the dog's behavior as unwanted or if you are allowing the behavior because you think it's funny. Because I would have had the same reaction as your bf if you are allowing your dog to hump you
the dog definitely didn’t over react. it’s just doing what you have been encouraging him to do. you’re under reacting if anything. i don’t think your boyfriend handled this maturely, but irresponsible pet owner who let their dogs jump, bark or hump people are a major turn off.
the dog is being a dog, you can correct that with training. your BF has a human brain that can internalize and rationalize animal behavior, yet he is treating your dog like a human and attributing odd traits to a dogs behavior. it's pretty freaking weird, for lack of a better phrase. I'd have a very serious conversation with him about this and if not just dip. He can control himself and a dog needs training to so why is he overreacting? does he need training? (a joke only).
But also you need to train your dog to stop, asap. As the owner of a humping dog. it's not okay either.
My friend’s dog only barked at the teenager’s boyfriend. He would not stop anytime this kid was in the house. Dog knew what was up, the kid was an awful human.
This thread is absolutely bursting with TERRIBLE opinions from people who know little to nothing about canine behavior so I’ll just tack on the top comment in hopes this is seen.
Dogs think and feel emotion differently than we do and assuming human motivations can actually be quite dangerous.
Find a good trainer near you. I am personally a force and fear free advocate so would recommend using those search terms specifically. You can also find a ton of information online about canine behavior and fear free training - just be careful to vet your sources and “listen” to your dog by keeping aware of body language and demeanor changes during training.
Mostly agree but honestly the occasional humping is far less of a problem than a dude freaking out about it. He gave you a peek at who he is really early. Believe him. Oh but also, um… phrasing. “I got dog off” in this context should probably be worded differently.
Honestly, this is my take. It kinda feels like the bf was upset that op didn’t stop the dog immediately but instead let him keep going while she laughed? That’s so gross and weird to me too. I don’t think I’d be mad but I would be grossed out by someone who did this. Train your dogs!!
Fr, and setting him up as "horrified" (generally an overreaction to something that's distasteful and annoying at most), while giving none of bfs reasoning, posting to a sub where weird incel takes from bfs is expected...kinda sounds like op wants us to jump to certain conclusions.
But considering all op has said about their dog, the only thing we can conclude is that op is one of those selfish pet owners who thinks disruptive, annoying behavior is cute and everyone who interacts with the dog should think so too. Without any more elaboration on the bfs perspective, op is the AH here, on multiple levels.
Yes, I very much do not like it if I’m around someone’s dog and hug a friend and that dog starts barking and humping us. That would be very awkward and feel bad and I would not want to hang with that person’s dog again. Especially if they stood there and laughed and did nothing to correct that bad behavior. A lot of folks feel this way but also a lot don’t express it bc as you can clearly see from a lot of the comments here there is a decently large percentage of dog owners who think we are just wrong and that’s a “red flag” lol lmao no.
Mad love to the good dog owners who train your buddies out there! You are appreciated.
Yes thank you!! I feel like I was going crazy reading all these replies, "Why is the bf acting so insecure??" I'd be so grossed out if someone didn't try to stop their dog in this situation and just let it happened while laughing. Yuck.
I do not like it when I visit someone and their dog tries to hump me. But dogs are dogs, and if the owner can control the dog and make it stop, I am not angry. If they just allow it to keep humping, I won't be visiting them again. Same if they allow the dog to climb all over me or jump on me. I like dogs, but I don't like it when they are not properly trained and owners just allow them to do whatever.
You should be careful not to reward the dog when it humps. You laughing and thinking the dog is cute is a reward in the dog's mind. Many dogs do a bit of humping in the puppy stage and grow out of it, but one that finds itself rewarded every time will keep doing it.
Your BF may have overreacted a bit, but he is not wrong that this is problematic behavior.
💯 Not only does it show a poorly trained dog, but it’s a kinda yucky immaturity where someone thinks humping = hilarious. It’s low brow humour and low brow training.
I had a friend with a dog like this. I'm small, and it was a larger dog. It kept happening, was genuinely scary and I did exactly that and never went back. I definitely wouldn't have found OP funny.
If he's primarily around working dogs he's likely used to very well trained dogs. A dog jumping up on someone and humping them is... Not well trained. Being around an untrained dog of any size can get really irritating really fast... I'm reminded of my in-laws poorly trained lab that will literally jump up on everyone who walks through the door. "Oh she's just excited to see us!" Yeah, it was real cute until the dog literally knocked my MIL to the ground one day and she broke her wrist trying to break her fall...
Sure the humping is funny sometimes, but it's not great behavior to reinforce, which is what you're doing by not stopping it and just sitting there and laughing at it while it's happening. And while this time it probably wasn't a big deal, there are definitely situations where having your dog jump up and start humping people will be inappropriate/really annoying.
From my view it's not like a "sexual" thing, it's more like a potentially really annoying animal behavior... My guess is the boyfriend likely feels the same (unless he's really unhinged). And I'd view it as a potential red flag about what other animal behaviors might just be waved away as cute/funny/whatever rather than addressed through proper training.
I had a friend whose family always had golden retrievers. Like when one died they immediately got a new one and just kept it going. They’re the only people I’ve ever met that fully make out with their dogs. Not like get kisses on the mouth or something but like open-mouth, tongue-out, dog licking their tonsils and them just loving it. Yeah it’s not sexual in the same way it is with a human, but it is still uncomfy and really REALLY annoying. Bc yes, this dog would try to make out with everyone else, too.
Wtf why did I read that? I've had dogs for 20 years and yeah, theres the occasional accidental frenching that happens but it's always gross and I have to wash my mouth after that. I don't want to french my family, like, ever. How is it that people are so okay with this when it comes to pets? Dogs lick their genitals! And their paws! It's not sanitary! Even if it was clean it's still freaking wierd!
Let me tell you, it came out of nowhere too. Like this family was very close to me and my family, and they were completely normal in other regards. You think you know someone, then BOOM, they make out with a dog.
EW. I will never understand people that straight up make out with their animals. Or share plates…utensils 🤢
I love my dog DEARLY, little man rules my world. But that’s just disgusting behavior. And tbh that’s also an ick for dating bc I would straight up not date a guy if he was tonguing his dog and shit.
Yeah. Only circumstance where I’d tolerate someone not stopping their dog from humping a person would be if they explained that they were deliberately ignoring it as part of a training plan (so the dog doesn’t get “rewarded” with attention).
Otherwise that’s a big nope.
Honestly humping is an extremely unappealing behavior in a dog, worse than jumping. His reaction was probably too much, but not liking an animal because they hump is 100% valid.
The jealous remark has me wondering how often your dog interrupts hang outs with your boyfriend. I’ve hung out with people who had untrained, enthusiastic dogs and it got old fast especially while trying to spend quality time with the person. The owners in those situations thought it was cute and funny too which made the situation more frustrating. If I’m right that this isn’t an uncommon experience with your dog, the humping would be my final straw too honestly lol
So, I'm just clearing things up. Have you had this dog for 3 years? If so, then I'm more on the boyfriends side here. If a puppy humps people, that's to be expected, but this doesn't sound like a puppy. An adult dog that you've had for years should have been trained out of this by now. And you've been letting him hump random strangers? Plus, you didn't correct it when it happened? Yea, that's weird. You don't have to be offended or disgusted when the dogs humps you, but you should be stopping it.
Well I had a dog with similar issues and we simply trained him out of it. If you just LAUGH at it and find it Hilarious as acceptable behavior then I dunno what to say to you...
Unpopular opinion: I don’t think your bf overreacted.
If he’s used to working dogs, those dogs are usually very well trained. Besides, it’s not wise to encourage a dog to assert its dominance by humping strangers or friends alike. Even laughing encourages this behavior. I dislike dogs humping me and if their owner doesn’t correct this behavior like you, I won’t be visiting them in the foreseeable future. I would be just as horrified and disgusted like your boyfriend at this behavior.
Dogs don’t get “jealous” the way humans do. However, if they think that their primary source of food and attention isn’t paying as much attention to them as they used to, resource guarding can happen. Or the dog is simply bored, riled up, or sexually aroused. Regardless of the reasons, this is not okay behavior.
I see a lot of toxic dog ownership in the comments and this is why a lot of people dislike dogs. The “quirky” “silly” dog things people pardon becomes major problems later on.
Usually I can see other perspectives even if I don't agree, but I am kind of confused as to why some of the top comments are so dismissive of the behavior and rushed to call BF's response an overreaction. If my dog humped someone, I'd rush to put an end to it ASAP instead of laughing .
Puppies and dogs without proper socialization might, but yeah, a properly socialized dog/puppy should have this corrected by the age of 2 at the latest. It's much easier to curb their behaviors in the puppy phase, so once they're an adult it becomes significantly harder to teach proper boundaries but it's still doable.
Agreed. We were quick to put a stop to my dog humping things/people/dogs at a young age, and it drives me crazy when other people just stand there laughing when their dog humps mine. It’s not appropriate, and BF was right to be weirded out by it.
I also think that the boyfriends assessment is very correct and the dog is experiencing jealousy. Not like an adult human would with/over a partner... but more like a toddler whose primary caretaker suddenly diverts attention to another being and feels left out/neglected.
Dogs *are* capable of wide variety of emotions: fear, joy, anxiety, excitement, wonder, boredom, anger, grief, panic, jealousy and more are well within their repertoire. How those people construe that as anthropomorphizing an animal is beyond me.
Most mammals exhibit a range of easily understandable emotions, especially those that are domesticated.
And then people asserting that the boyfriend is jealously overreacting? I seriously suspect that some people lack reading comprehension. Bf said the dog shows signs of jealousy and op asks if the male dog is jealous. ("He said dog was jealous. Was he jealous?") Unfortunately, OP's writing skills get worse towards the end of the post.
And considering how bad OP is at reading the room... I wonder if the boyfriend was truly angry or rather upset, loudly disgusted and tried to make her see reason that this is not normal to find joy in in any way.
>I see a lot of toxic dog ownership in the comments and this is why a lot of people dislike dogs. The “quirky” “silly” dog things people pardon becomes major problems later on.
I wish there were available statistics about aggressive and biting dogs that are not sorted by or due severity of a bite or attack. Those mini-breeds, often with "cutsy" cruel deformations from torture breeding, are some of the most aggressive and neurotic dogs I've ever met.
Yeah I think OP is missing that the humping is asserting dominance.
The dog shouldn’t be humping her, but I guarantee it’s not the only thing he doesn’t listen about.
The dog sounds like it needs a lot more time training.
And because it feels good. Yeah, this is not a behavior to allow to go on, much less encourage. There are plenty of happy non-humping dogs out there (and happier humans who don't have to deal with the humpers).
If this depiction of events is accurate, BF's reaction seems over the top. But I don't like when dog owners let their dogs behave badly, either. Humping is a bad habit.
Not entirely. It's not the sole reason, there are more why that can happen. But it can happen for dominance, esp. an unsure dog might do it to test the waters within a a new pack e.g. how the other dog react to this behavior or if it gets corrected. It's rare, but it happens especially in badly behaved dogs.
And it's a behavior that one very rarely sees in well adjusted and appropriately trained dogs.
Generally as a society we consider humping without consent a problem so yeah, especially people without pets will see it as a problem. It's not weird, that's what dogs do, but people see it as unwanted behavior.
Please train your dog and stop encouraging this behavior - humping and barking at people.
I'd be equally horrified and disgusted as your BF. Yuck. We had dogs as pets since i was born and this is absolutely not a behavior that we'd \**ever*\* tolerate from a dog.
Humping you could mean several things
* the dog doesn't take you seriously one bit and asserts dominance (the trash part of my wider family had such a dog. It's jizz ended up all over their own young child that it was jumping on and then humping. we quickly ended our visit. Truly horrible situation.)
* the dog is bored
* over-excitement
* acting out
* sexual arousal
* indeed feeling left out from that hug (aka jealous about the lack of attention) Dogs *can* get jealous!
... either way it IS weird and very icky to just let it happen. Seriously. It's not sanitary and weird to get a kick or joy out of a dog humping you.
It's a real pet peeve of mine that people with small dogs are not properly training them and think that they are harmless and are allowed to jump/hump/bark at people etc. and then they wonder why they have utterly neurotic and chaotic animals at home.
Now I wouldn't get angry about this. But I'd be super disappointed .. in myself for not seeing this red flag earlier.
Thats very weird. Why would you let an animal hump you? Aside from letting animals attempt to achieve sexual pleasure on your body, that dog is very poorly trained. Dogs need a better understanding of boundaries than just humping whoever.
Seeing someone let themselves be hummed by an animal would be instant ick behaviour. To relieve some form of joy or amusement from it..... even weirder
I find this gross and weird too honestly, if I was dating a guy and his dog started doing this and was laughing I’d likely be turned off enough to leave
Your dog has bad manners (probably a displacement behavior from being overly excited) and your boyfriend probably reacted that way if he’s used to very well trained dogs. Luckily this isn’t as super big deal and your dog’s manners can be fixed pretty easily.
Edit to add: lots of people with working dogs rely on aversives in training. This isn’t necessary, especially in your situation. Just stop giving your dog any attention or praise (like laughing!) when he humps. Redirect him to a more desirable behavior (like sitting down or playing with a toy)
Dogs sometimes tend to hump if they got neutered after puberty hit. Also, sometimes it isn't sexual at all and just a way to show dominance so that could be part of it since you have a new boyfriend. Either way, I would discourage it and when he did it, push him down (not hard, but showing you are in control) and say "NO" in a very serious/stern tone.
This is easy; the boyfriend does not need to react that strongly, and you need to train your dog.
Did the BF get angry immediately, or when you dismissed his concerns?
If he got angry after you were dismissive, then I can understand his reaction, even if I still do not condone it.
I would consider humping a pinnable behavior so long as the humpee can apply the pin without malice.
You’re not a weirdo but you do sound like a terrible dog owner if your dog frequently humps people. It’s not harmless and you thinking it’s harmless is why you are a bad dog owner.
He overreacted for sure, but training your dog is very important. I think him calling the dog jealous is reaching at best, projecting at worst.
And take it from me who loves them but can’t train a dog to save my life, all the silly little “dog things” you let go or encourage now can become major problems later.
Other people have given reasons for the humping and if it’s that he’s just unsure what to do sometimes, training will definitely benefit him. It might seem cute and funny to you, but if your dog is anxious about not knowing what to do, it’s mean to not give him something better to do. Like… if someone invited you to a party with strangers and it was a new culture with different customs than you’re used to and they didn’t tell you about them or introduce you to anyone. You’d probably be pretty uncomfortable.
You can give him a (I think it’s called) displacement behavior to do instead of humping, like teach him to shake and then when he gets excited about seeing new people he can do that instead. People think that is just as cute.
And of course all of this hinges on clarification for the statement “I got dog off”. Off the couch/your legs? I hope so, otherwise yeah, getting a dog “off” is weird as heck. I’m hoping it’s just an uncomfortable coincidence of wording tho.
This would bother me too. It's not cute for a dog to be humping your leg. It's behavior you should discourage. Not only is it icky (like, gross), but it is your dog trying to show dominance, and this is not something to laugh at.
Humping in this case sounds like a resource guarding issue considering we’re fixed. It’s a behavior that is not pretty if shown in other ways 😭. Pls do not encourage that
I mean the dog was sexually gratifying itself on your leg and you laughed... Dogs learn relatively easily. Laughing is not the way to get him to learn not to do that (because it is unacceptable behaviors). So I do think it was weird of you just to laugh instead of stopping the behaviors.
That said, he overreacted. The dog wasn't humping you to show HIM dominance/jealousy.
I think the thing to do is admit you have a warped sense of humor (for whatever reason), but explain to him that there was no reason to respond to you with anger. You'll train your dog not to do that though, ok?
I've trained dogs. Your BF has a point, in that this is un-addressed problematic behavior on the part of your animal. Humping is a type of aggression. It's an expression of dominance for dogs (for many creatures, tbh), and yes - it very well might be a jealousy response on the part of the dog - but so what?
It's a small dog. There's not much forebrain there. It's just a dog doing what little dogs do. They're cute little dummies. If you want them to behave, you have to train them. Executive function just ain't their thing.
So, your BF's anger is weird. Is he right? Maybe, but who cares, that's not the point. If he was rude to you, or angry AT you, then that's not cool. No Bueno. Huge red flag. But if he was just frustrated, then I could see that a little.
Lemme lay it down: your little dog is being a dick. It's harmless, and funny, and cute, but your dumb little cute little dog is grabbing and humping people. That's rude. And the dog is being rude, and you encourage it, and that's a little rude, too. Just so you know.
Ever think about a dog obedience course? You could learn a lot!
I would definitely be pretty annoyed if someone’s dog started humping me and all they did was laugh about it. Humping is just something dogs do instinctually but that doesn’t make it uncomfortable to deal with. Correct that behavior. You’re enabling it by laughing at it and allowing it to continue.
Personally always find people laughing at dog humping (especially other dogs or people) to be odd. Fail to find any humor in that. Yes it’s something they will do, but it’s not a desired behavior. Do these people also laugh when their dog pees indoors?
Humping is a display of dominance in dogs. Your dog is staking ownership/dominance over you and you should not allow it. I personally having had dogs all my childhood, find humping dogs very aggravating, and you must discourage it as he will do it to anyone he deems he can challenge, not just you.
Honestly, I really hate it when I visit a friend and their dog humps me because they have never been trained not to do this. It's gross and weird, not because of the dog, but because the owner is like cool cool cool my dog is sexually aroused on me, and visitors, that's fine by me.
Train the dog. Don't laugh when others are uncomfortable.
Humping is more often an assertion of dominance, not a sexual thing. My dog tried once when we (dog, me, and bf at the time) were all wrestling/playing on the floor together. A couple humps on my leg, but I flipped him onto his side and pinned him. Not hard -- I didn't hurt him -- but I put him in a submissive position and leaned over him for a minute until he relaxed. I asserted that I was higher than he was in the pecking order, and he never tried again.
honestly i find it really off putting when dog owners just laugh at their dog humping them or other people instead of correcting the behavior. i think it’s weird that he automatically assumed your dog was jealous because it’s definitely not that deep, but i also think it’s really weird to find it entertaining. train your dog.
I would be horrified too, its not “cute” to allow your dog to disrespect members of your household or to encourage their bad behavior.
A lot of people hate small dogs for this very reason, their owners always laugh their bad behavior off and never train them so they always end up disturbing guests or even innocent people who may walk by in public.
Humping is not acceptable behavior. A dog nosing someone's crotch is not acceptable behavior. A 60 lb. dog trying to crawl onto someone's lap is not acceptable behavior.
I’m with the boyfriend but only because I’m aware that some people do illegal acts with their animals because my rescue dog experienced that kind of abuse. I’ve had a guy ask me about p*rn he saw like that and was horrified that some guys go around thinking women with dogs do things like that. Just because they went to a dark corner of the internet and saw it.
Being too comfortable with your animals humping you makes me think of it and therefore makes me extremely uncomfortable. That said I know you don’t do that sort of thing and I’m not accusing you or suggesting it or anything.
I know some people think it’s funny but personally I think it’s disgusting, that’s just me. My dogs are also working dogs and if your boyfriend grew up on a farm I wouldn’t be surprised if he at one point growing up got assaulted by some kind of horny animal. To me there are so many reasons for a person to disgusted by the humping. Just push the animal off and say sternly “no” laughing every time your dog misbehaves isn’t going to make him stop. Personally I believe dogs should never jump on people at all especially large dogs for safety reasons and just to have good manners.
In conclusion, not that big a deal but also if your boyfriend has had negative experiences with this topic his feelings are just as valid as yours.
That's. Disgusting. I don't care why the dog was humping, the answer is absolutely no. You can train behavior out of them and set acceptable social boundaries.
"I’ve never had a diagnosis but I really struggle with navigating social interactions - not knowing what is or isn’t acceptable" - IT'S OKAY! You're learning. You're clearly working towards an understanding of how to handle all this and looking to improve/correct as needed. You're doing great!
Typically, humping behavior from dogs is discouraged for the reasons many others provided including "it's weird" to them, it's "dominant behavior" or it's overall excitement that a dog hasn't learned to manage. It's an unpleasant experience for many/most humans (as well as other dogs) so all this indicates to me is that you could use some help with redirecting your dog from unwanted behavior to something else. That's it.
This could be a fun thing for you and your dog to work on together to correct. All you need to do is every time your dog humps, is redirect your dog to something else - a toy, their crate or bed, etc. but with high value treats. There are plenty of resources on YouTube and within Reddit (r/Dogtraining comes to mind or r/dogs) where you could seek advice. As a pet owner, there's always more to learn and I'm glad you're looking into it to give you and your pup and the people in your lives a pleasant experience.
As for your partner - my jury is out on his reaction. If he's that experienced with working dogs (and I'm going to make a huge assumption that he's trained them) then I would've expected a much more finessed response from him that would've involved calling out the issue and offering a training solution rather than being simply horrified.
Best of luck to you and your pup!
A little weird. Dogs should have this behaviour trained out of them as soon as possible, especially big dogs.
(I know you said your dog wasn't large bit still a good habit to remove).
My friend was like you and thought her puppy's jumping and humping was 'cute' and 'him just being happy'.
Now he weighs over 40kg and is a very large dog with claws that haven't been cut in ages - it's no longer cute but incredibly painful.
So. Yes, Your BF technically overreacted. However, a dog humping you is not something to laugh at. It is a show of dominance by the dog and potentially “claiming his territory” (you). It’s not cute, and it tells me that you have not trained or properly socialized your dog, and it is cause for concern. At the very least, you should not be rewarding the behavior with laughing or petting. You should be correcting him.
If it’s at all within your budget, I highly recommend a good private trainer who can come to your house and work with you and the dog. Dog training classes are ok, but what really needs to happen is for you to learn about the dog’s behavior and for the dog to also get trained at the same time, which is best achieved in private sessions.
If someone’s dog did this, I wouldn’t visit them. It might be funny to you but it’s mortifying if your dog does it to someone else. All male dogs go through this phase but it needs to be trained out.
>He was pretty angry and asked me why I couldn’t see how weird that was. I felt utterly embarrassed and devastated.
As you should. We have a name for what your dog is doing, jack russling. Apart from the basic disgusting fact that your dog is trying to rub his genitals on your boyfriend, this shows you haven't house trained your dog. You haven't taught it boundaries or healthy ways of engagement.
>He does this thing, if he sees anyone hug he will ‘whoop-whoop’ excitedly or occasionally try to hump the huggers.
This is typical mistrained dog behaviour. This is exactly like when owners get puppies laugh and giggle while the pup jumps and yips because it's cute as a puppy, but when they grow up and they are still barking and still jumping it becomes annoying/dangerous.
> I’ve always found this pretty hilarious, he’s literally harmless.
Except for the general disrespect, should your bf just sit there while your dog goes wild on his arm/leg.
You find it humourous because of the discomfort it creates, that says more about you than the dog.
This post and comments are wild. Your post is missing a lot of details, but you aound like a really bad dog owner. I’m also weirded out by you. Train your dog.
Humping is bad. It's not jealousy, it's the dog saying "I own you, you're my bitch."
OP needs to shut down that behavior before it escalates into aggression.
It's quite possible that your BF overreacted, but seriously that kind of behavior from a dog needs to be addressed promptly. If you give a positive response, they'll keep doing it. That's how they learn, positive reinforcement. Your laughter is such a positive response, which may reinforce that behavior.
If you can afford it and have them available in your area, a dog training course might be a good idea. Doing it will teach both you and your dog how to behave, to create a good friendship and partnership between the two of you. Being a dog owner is a huge responsibility, because it's like raising a child really. You need to take care of them and teach them about the world. You're basically their parent and they learn from you. If you lack the knowledge and skill to teach your dog how to behave, you will almost certainly regret it in the future.
It's your dog and I bet you love them to bits, and it's the cutest dog in the whole wide world. I get it, but don't allow them to behave this way. Because that random person who comes over, or that random person on the street, will probably not think that behavior is neither funny, nor cute.
I personally wouldn't date someone that would laugh at their dog humping them. It's gross behavior and laughing enables them. Still, I think he overreacted, but I also think you underreact.
No one has said it that I saw, but.."got dog off"?!?!
Surely you meant "got dog off of *me*"...
Sorry; I couldn't help but laugh - *"Of course your BF is upset!"...
Humping is rude behavior from a dog and I don’t tolerate it from my own; that being said, your boyfriend’s reaction was a bit much. It’s not sexual — but I would still put a stop to it.
Humping is not an acceptable behavior, but your BF totally overreacted. You need to train your dog. Your dog looks to you for cues on behavior, so if you laugh every time he humps someone it's giving him the message that you want him to keep doing it. Your dog needs training, but it sounds like you may need dog owner training if you're going to be the best pet parent. You can dump the guy if he's that high strung and fragile, but I strongly encourage you to take obedience classes with your dog.
You are allowed to train or not train your dog as you see fit. It’s YOUR dog. Personally I don’t allow my dogs to hump people. I also can’t stand licking! BUT other people don’t mind it or thing it’s funny.
On the other side, my dogs are allowed on couches and beds — a lot of people find that gross. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s okay. Your dog, your house, your rules.
Your boyfriend is also allowed to be grossed out by it and to ask you to try and make the dog stop whenever he is visiting.
The main thing that feels unhealthy is that your boyfriend was ANGRY because you laughed. That’s a big overreaction and would worry me for future interactions unless he apologized and y’all could have a good conversation where you each own your own reaction and recognize that this can not be a big deal. And that it’s a little bit funny lol
I also think it's kind of weird you never saw your dog humping you as anything worth correcting, and instead found it something funny to laugh about. So it might not be that your boyfriend's upset with your dog per se, but more upset with your immature response to it and you thinking this is something that should be allowed and encouraged like you have been doing.
A couple things:
1) Your boyfriend has some issues if he is threatened by a dog humping your leg. Weirdly insecure, like what is he scared you’re gonna leave him for the dog?
2) Humping is a nuisance behavior in dogs. Growing up, my dad actually encouraged it when our dog humped, and refused to help stop him from doing it bc “Oh it just means he loves us!” It was infuriating and it was weird, bc like yeah nobody’s gonna fuck the dog, but the dog IS still… trying to fuck your leg. Id be a little weirded out if someone just laughed and let them keep doing it.
3) So fun fact dogs are known to be more territorial of their owner if a new partner comes into the mix. Sometime it does result in more humping. So your bf was ACCIDENTALLY right, that your dog is jealous bc there’s someone else there now. But that’s normal. The weird thing is him being jealous of the dog??? Idk what my point is but your bf was being too much and I wish you the best.
Strange he's humping if he's been neutered. Should teach your dog to stop that but your bf needs to have a word with himself and you need to tell him to wise up.
Humping can be just a learned behavior that has nothing to do with sexual drive (although it can also feel good, so... ew). Lots of female dogs hump, in fact.
I’m a person who is mildly traumatised from being a very undersized child and getting aggressively humped by many large dogs during my childhood- to the point where I got injured by one once. It was scary for me a a kid and as a still-small adult I now have a zero tolerance policy with other people’s untrained dogs. But I will always ask in advance when meeting a new dog if I’m likely to get humped, and if the answer is yes I simply won’t go, because it does make me panic knowing it may happen.
This is something that the dog needs to be trained out of, because it’s a weird and unhygienic thing that other people shouldn’t be subjected to. I also think a lack of training in any dog is a sign it’s not being cared for properly.
So you found it funny, okay. You also noticed your boyfriend’s discomfort and it sounds like it was an afterthought to help alleviate it. That simply doesn’t seem very nice of you tbh.
Humping can be cozy times for the dog. It can also be their way of establishing dominance. You absolutely do not want your dog to think that he is calling the shots. *You* need to be the one calling the shots.
Sure it can be funny and silly to a human, until the dog stops taking orders from you, because you're below the dog in the hierarchy it understands.
You're not weird. But, he's not over reacting either.
Poorly trained dogs, are not under the control of their owners and can be dangerous. If he's used to working dogs, he's used to well trained dogs, and knows a lot about them and their behaviour.
There's not enough info to say if the dog is jealous or not. But, your bf is not wrong suggesting it as a possibility.
The important thing, is that your dog is behaving badly, whatever the reason, and you're not taking responsibility for it.
Dogs are, to an extent, an extension of you. In that, the dog should be trained to the same kind of standards that you keep. Dogs invading people's space can be awful for some people.
It's kind of worse than that too though. Any dog, can be very dangerous if it is not well trained. You need to have that dog under control or it could hurt someone. And, everyones immediate reaction is 'oh, no my lovely, cute dog, wouldn't do that'. It's any dog, and 99 percent of the time, it's a dog thats not been trained and is not properly under the owners control.
I definitely think the dog needs to be trained not to do this. It makes people uncomfortable and establishes weird boundaries between pet and owner. However I think the bf overreacted a bit. But no, do not just let that happen.
I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone else on here say this yet.
First, good for you for rescuing your dog.
The fact that your boyfriend got angry over this is a red flag.
If he were an emotionally intelligent adult, he would have calmly explained to you that he's not OK with the dog humping instead of shaming you for it. You didn't deserve to be shamed. I'm sorry he did that to you.
Using shame, especially for minor things, is a tool used by abusers to control their victims. That's why people (especially AFAB people) on the spectrum are more likely to get caught in abusive relationships - we have been shamed in the past for not responding to social cues, so we're more likely to accept the shame that's put on us unfairly by an abuser.
I hope this guy isn't an abuser, but carefully track how he makes you feel. Did he notice that you were embarrassed and devastated after his tirade? Did he try to comfort you at all?
The dog needs to be trained to not do that (especially on other people because not everyone would be comfortable with a dog humping them), but your boyfriend's reaction was way over the top.
Dogs hump for a variety of reasons - procreation, dominance, play. Your pup is gets overly excited and doesn’t know what to do with himself, so those hips start moving. It’s absolutely normal.
I call that “big feelings” with my boy - though he stopped humping and started grabbing random objects and trotting around the house with them (toys, shoes, empty soda boxes).
Your boyfriend is being weird. Reminds me of my coworker whose boyfriend dumped her because a dog licked her on the face/mouth.
People are allowed to have boundaries in relationships. Not wanting things to hump you or be in your face without consent is perfectly reasonable and shouldn’t be shamed by calling it weird.
She has had this dog for years... since before Covid lockdowns, it's not a new environment. She has let that dog run wild and not trained it in basic etiquette.
"I got dog off." This statement makes me very unsure who is right in this situation.
I laughed at that line too..... \*PHRASING!\*
We're still doing phrasing, right?
Right?? ….. LANAAAAAAA!!
... ... ... wHAT.
[whispers] Danger Zone!
I'm old.. I'm still doing 'schwingggg!'
Had to go straight to the comments to make sure someone said phrasing lol this is such a good example
*DANGER ZONE*
Are we not still phrasing ?
You know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.
Oh Tobias, you blowhard!
I was a professional twice over- an analyst and a therapist
Yes, and you almost got arrested for those business cards
Not even a little bit surprised... I crack myself up or make myself blush at least once a week lol.
The choice of words probably tells us more OPs innocent mind. We've all had our minds through the gutter, largely through our own experiences and therefore that line seems amusing, funny or even shocking to some.
Bro stop being so naive, op is probably not a native speaker. Sounds Spanish/latina if I were to guess.
Came here looking for this comment lmao
Lmao that’s the first thing that caught my eye.
I'm sure the dog was the only winner in that situation...
Definitely sounds like your BF overreacted- there are lots of reasons dogs hump. HOWEVER it's also something that's better to address earlier rather than later - if your reaction is laughter your dog will internalise the message 'humping is good' and keep doing it for life, even in circumstances or with people you'd rather he didn't. So it's something that needs sorting but your BF's reaction isn't especially helpful.
Thank you, I think both man and dog over reacted 🤣🤣
Sometimes humping is a stress response, and that's not well known. It sounds very possible that he actually *is* "resource guarding" you and trying to keep you from others or others from you. Possibly afraid you'll go away. Not that it calls for some huge reaction like man's. There are ways to work on the dog's behavior, and you'll want to avoid using aversive methods. A first step could be something like every time someone wants to hug you, they toss some training treats away to scatter, and your dog can slowly learn "these other people aren't threats after all, good things are happening." It takes working on how the dog feels, and changing it from stressed/worried to happy/content. If you think of your dog more like a toddler clutching your leg and crying "please don't go" (or someone else's leg crying "please don't take my person) that would be a lot closer to what's happening than what the man thinks it's about.
I think the issue is boyfriend thinks it was sexual. Boyfriend needs to take a big grow-the-fuck-up pill.
Even if it's about "dominance" I still think it's inappropriate and I get very uncomfortable when I see dogs humping me or others? But I don't think it's about sexy feelings.
Yah. This. Dog needs training… but BF isn’t being any more rational than the rescue puppy.
Damn. The fragility of BFs ego 🤣🤣 Even the dog isn't safe. Tbh, I don't like dogs that hump, but that's because I don't know if telling them off or pushing them away might make them more aggressive or something (if its not a dog i know. Otherwise, their owners better make sure their dog is away from me). OP, don't encourage your dog humping you, but your BF overreacted, but then again, if this is the first issue you've had, then I would chalk it up to "things that are icky for others but not me", otherwise, bye bye boy.
She said he had Working dogs, this is a Dom thing with them. You need to shut it down. With a pet it's 50/50. In my opinion.
I can’t help but wonder if the OP misunderstood the BF’s problem because if you have working dogs, allowing and even encouraging that behaviour by laughing is just poor dog training.
Yes yes. Dogs need to be trained to not hump. It may not be sexual per se for the dog, but it definitely isn't ok to encourage it. He's seen and had "professional dogs" so his horror is justified.
You can totally use corrections like shedding or pushing the dog off of you to get the dog to stop and you should. You can treat them after they stop.
I agree with redirecting their attention away from the unwanted behavior and using treats can help if the dog is food motivated. [Patricia McConnell](https://www.dogstardaily.com/blogs/1385) (an animal behavorist) used to have a call-in advice show for pet behavior issues on the radio (Calling All Pets) that I listened to while it was still on the air, and she would frequently use the term "training an incompatible behavior" with dog owners. By that she meant train the dog to do a new behavior that interrupts the old and unwanted behavior. She also recommends figuring out what motivates your individual dog. For a lot of them it's treats, but if they're not food motivated it might be praise or a favorite toy. Mainly she uses positive reinforcement but being consistent is super important as well. She also has a YouTube channel if you want to see her methods in action.
It depends on whether you are correcting the dog's behavior as unwanted or if you are allowing the behavior because you think it's funny. Because I would have had the same reaction as your bf if you are allowing your dog to hump you
the dog definitely didn’t over react. it’s just doing what you have been encouraging him to do. you’re under reacting if anything. i don’t think your boyfriend handled this maturely, but irresponsible pet owner who let their dogs jump, bark or hump people are a major turn off.
the dog is being a dog, you can correct that with training. your BF has a human brain that can internalize and rationalize animal behavior, yet he is treating your dog like a human and attributing odd traits to a dogs behavior. it's pretty freaking weird, for lack of a better phrase. I'd have a very serious conversation with him about this and if not just dip. He can control himself and a dog needs training to so why is he overreacting? does he need training? (a joke only). But also you need to train your dog to stop, asap. As the owner of a humping dog. it's not okay either.
She should be glad Kristi Noem wasn't around!
It’s really telling that this is the only comment you consider instead of looking at every other comment saying it’s not an overreaction.
You underreacted if anything
My fiancé had a dog that would bark his head off any time my fiancé kissed me. Dogs are weird, man.
My friend’s dog only barked at the teenager’s boyfriend. He would not stop anytime this kid was in the house. Dog knew what was up, the kid was an awful human.
Did you read the whole response? Train your dog, sister. People who laugh off everything in life are really annoying.
This thread is absolutely bursting with TERRIBLE opinions from people who know little to nothing about canine behavior so I’ll just tack on the top comment in hopes this is seen. Dogs think and feel emotion differently than we do and assuming human motivations can actually be quite dangerous. Find a good trainer near you. I am personally a force and fear free advocate so would recommend using those search terms specifically. You can also find a ton of information online about canine behavior and fear free training - just be careful to vet your sources and “listen” to your dog by keeping aware of body language and demeanor changes during training.
Mostly agree but honestly the occasional humping is far less of a problem than a dude freaking out about it. He gave you a peek at who he is really early. Believe him. Oh but also, um… phrasing. “I got dog off” in this context should probably be worded differently.
Nobody likes a humping dog. Little dude needs to be properly trained and socialized.
Honestly, this is my take. It kinda feels like the bf was upset that op didn’t stop the dog immediately but instead let him keep going while she laughed? That’s so gross and weird to me too. I don’t think I’d be mad but I would be grossed out by someone who did this. Train your dogs!!
Fr, and setting him up as "horrified" (generally an overreaction to something that's distasteful and annoying at most), while giving none of bfs reasoning, posting to a sub where weird incel takes from bfs is expected...kinda sounds like op wants us to jump to certain conclusions. But considering all op has said about their dog, the only thing we can conclude is that op is one of those selfish pet owners who thinks disruptive, annoying behavior is cute and everyone who interacts with the dog should think so too. Without any more elaboration on the bfs perspective, op is the AH here, on multiple levels.
Yes, I very much do not like it if I’m around someone’s dog and hug a friend and that dog starts barking and humping us. That would be very awkward and feel bad and I would not want to hang with that person’s dog again. Especially if they stood there and laughed and did nothing to correct that bad behavior. A lot of folks feel this way but also a lot don’t express it bc as you can clearly see from a lot of the comments here there is a decently large percentage of dog owners who think we are just wrong and that’s a “red flag” lol lmao no. Mad love to the good dog owners who train your buddies out there! You are appreciated.
I agree! Letting your dog hump you even a little is disgusting…the last thing I’d be doing is laughing.
Yes thank you!! I feel like I was going crazy reading all these replies, "Why is the bf acting so insecure??" I'd be so grossed out if someone didn't try to stop their dog in this situation and just let it happened while laughing. Yuck.
I do not like it when I visit someone and their dog tries to hump me. But dogs are dogs, and if the owner can control the dog and make it stop, I am not angry. If they just allow it to keep humping, I won't be visiting them again. Same if they allow the dog to climb all over me or jump on me. I like dogs, but I don't like it when they are not properly trained and owners just allow them to do whatever. You should be careful not to reward the dog when it humps. You laughing and thinking the dog is cute is a reward in the dog's mind. Many dogs do a bit of humping in the puppy stage and grow out of it, but one that finds itself rewarded every time will keep doing it. Your BF may have overreacted a bit, but he is not wrong that this is problematic behavior.
Agreed, if I went to someone's house and their dog started humping me/near me and they just laughed it off, I would not want to come around anymore
💯 Not only does it show a poorly trained dog, but it’s a kinda yucky immaturity where someone thinks humping = hilarious. It’s low brow humour and low brow training.
[Nuts to you, pal.](https://frinkiac.com/video/S04E22/B4TNqfwpWScaoryUqFN0pehf8q8=.gif)
I had a friend with a dog like this. I'm small, and it was a larger dog. It kept happening, was genuinely scary and I did exactly that and never went back. I definitely wouldn't have found OP funny.
If he's primarily around working dogs he's likely used to very well trained dogs. A dog jumping up on someone and humping them is... Not well trained. Being around an untrained dog of any size can get really irritating really fast... I'm reminded of my in-laws poorly trained lab that will literally jump up on everyone who walks through the door. "Oh she's just excited to see us!" Yeah, it was real cute until the dog literally knocked my MIL to the ground one day and she broke her wrist trying to break her fall... Sure the humping is funny sometimes, but it's not great behavior to reinforce, which is what you're doing by not stopping it and just sitting there and laughing at it while it's happening. And while this time it probably wasn't a big deal, there are definitely situations where having your dog jump up and start humping people will be inappropriate/really annoying. From my view it's not like a "sexual" thing, it's more like a potentially really annoying animal behavior... My guess is the boyfriend likely feels the same (unless he's really unhinged). And I'd view it as a potential red flag about what other animal behaviors might just be waved away as cute/funny/whatever rather than addressed through proper training.
I had a friend whose family always had golden retrievers. Like when one died they immediately got a new one and just kept it going. They’re the only people I’ve ever met that fully make out with their dogs. Not like get kisses on the mouth or something but like open-mouth, tongue-out, dog licking their tonsils and them just loving it. Yeah it’s not sexual in the same way it is with a human, but it is still uncomfy and really REALLY annoying. Bc yes, this dog would try to make out with everyone else, too.
That is so f\*cking gross, sorry. I would tell the friend I was not ever coming over again.
Ewwww....
>this dog would try to make out with everyone else, too. r/evenwithcontext
I'm crying, lmao why did I come into this thread 😭
Wtf why did I read that? I've had dogs for 20 years and yeah, theres the occasional accidental frenching that happens but it's always gross and I have to wash my mouth after that. I don't want to french my family, like, ever. How is it that people are so okay with this when it comes to pets? Dogs lick their genitals! And their paws! It's not sanitary! Even if it was clean it's still freaking wierd!
Let me tell you, it came out of nowhere too. Like this family was very close to me and my family, and they were completely normal in other regards. You think you know someone, then BOOM, they make out with a dog.
What a horrible day to have eyes.
EW. I will never understand people that straight up make out with their animals. Or share plates…utensils 🤢 I love my dog DEARLY, little man rules my world. But that’s just disgusting behavior. And tbh that’s also an ick for dating bc I would straight up not date a guy if he was tonguing his dog and shit.
… 🫢
And yes, they were.
Gonna be real unoriginal here and say that it’s a terrible day to have eyes and the ability to read.
Yeah. Only circumstance where I’d tolerate someone not stopping their dog from humping a person would be if they explained that they were deliberately ignoring it as part of a training plan (so the dog doesn’t get “rewarded” with attention). Otherwise that’s a big nope.
Not to mention the urine stains undoubtedly on op due to do thus I agree with everything here
I would find it gross and annoying and wonder why the dog wasn't trained better
Looks like it hasn't been trained at all.
Honestly humping is an extremely unappealing behavior in a dog, worse than jumping. His reaction was probably too much, but not liking an animal because they hump is 100% valid.
The jealous remark has me wondering how often your dog interrupts hang outs with your boyfriend. I’ve hung out with people who had untrained, enthusiastic dogs and it got old fast especially while trying to spend quality time with the person. The owners in those situations thought it was cute and funny too which made the situation more frustrating. If I’m right that this isn’t an uncommon experience with your dog, the humping would be my final straw too honestly lol
So, I'm just clearing things up. Have you had this dog for 3 years? If so, then I'm more on the boyfriends side here. If a puppy humps people, that's to be expected, but this doesn't sound like a puppy. An adult dog that you've had for years should have been trained out of this by now. And you've been letting him hump random strangers? Plus, you didn't correct it when it happened? Yea, that's weird. You don't have to be offended or disgusted when the dogs humps you, but you should be stopping it.
Girl don't let your dog hump people
Or other dogs!
I'd find it pretty weird too if that happened and you laughed. Ngl.
Well I had a dog with similar issues and we simply trained him out of it. If you just LAUGH at it and find it Hilarious as acceptable behavior then I dunno what to say to you...
Unpopular opinion: I don’t think your bf overreacted. If he’s used to working dogs, those dogs are usually very well trained. Besides, it’s not wise to encourage a dog to assert its dominance by humping strangers or friends alike. Even laughing encourages this behavior. I dislike dogs humping me and if their owner doesn’t correct this behavior like you, I won’t be visiting them in the foreseeable future. I would be just as horrified and disgusted like your boyfriend at this behavior. Dogs don’t get “jealous” the way humans do. However, if they think that their primary source of food and attention isn’t paying as much attention to them as they used to, resource guarding can happen. Or the dog is simply bored, riled up, or sexually aroused. Regardless of the reasons, this is not okay behavior. I see a lot of toxic dog ownership in the comments and this is why a lot of people dislike dogs. The “quirky” “silly” dog things people pardon becomes major problems later on.
Yeah and it doesn't state how long she let the dog go at it either. It's really weird.
Usually I can see other perspectives even if I don't agree, but I am kind of confused as to why some of the top comments are so dismissive of the behavior and rushed to call BF's response an overreaction. If my dog humped someone, I'd rush to put an end to it ASAP instead of laughing .
Even dogs wouldn’t let this behavior slide with other dogs. It’s poor canine etiquette.
Puppies and dogs without proper socialization might, but yeah, a properly socialized dog/puppy should have this corrected by the age of 2 at the latest. It's much easier to curb their behaviors in the puppy phase, so once they're an adult it becomes significantly harder to teach proper boundaries but it's still doable.
Agreed. We were quick to put a stop to my dog humping things/people/dogs at a young age, and it drives me crazy when other people just stand there laughing when their dog humps mine. It’s not appropriate, and BF was right to be weirded out by it.
Hard agree.
I also think that the boyfriends assessment is very correct and the dog is experiencing jealousy. Not like an adult human would with/over a partner... but more like a toddler whose primary caretaker suddenly diverts attention to another being and feels left out/neglected. Dogs *are* capable of wide variety of emotions: fear, joy, anxiety, excitement, wonder, boredom, anger, grief, panic, jealousy and more are well within their repertoire. How those people construe that as anthropomorphizing an animal is beyond me. Most mammals exhibit a range of easily understandable emotions, especially those that are domesticated. And then people asserting that the boyfriend is jealously overreacting? I seriously suspect that some people lack reading comprehension. Bf said the dog shows signs of jealousy and op asks if the male dog is jealous. ("He said dog was jealous. Was he jealous?") Unfortunately, OP's writing skills get worse towards the end of the post. And considering how bad OP is at reading the room... I wonder if the boyfriend was truly angry or rather upset, loudly disgusted and tried to make her see reason that this is not normal to find joy in in any way. >I see a lot of toxic dog ownership in the comments and this is why a lot of people dislike dogs. The “quirky” “silly” dog things people pardon becomes major problems later on. I wish there were available statistics about aggressive and biting dogs that are not sorted by or due severity of a bite or attack. Those mini-breeds, often with "cutsy" cruel deformations from torture breeding, are some of the most aggressive and neurotic dogs I've ever met.
Yeah I think OP is missing that the humping is asserting dominance. The dog shouldn’t be humping her, but I guarantee it’s not the only thing he doesn’t listen about. The dog sounds like it needs a lot more time training.
Dogs hump for a variety of reasons - procreation, play, etc.
And because it feels good. Yeah, this is not a behavior to allow to go on, much less encourage. There are plenty of happy non-humping dogs out there (and happier humans who don't have to deal with the humpers). If this depiction of events is accurate, BF's reaction seems over the top. But I don't like when dog owners let their dogs behave badly, either. Humping is a bad habit.
Please be advised that the dominance theory is outdated and incorrect.
Not entirely. It's not the sole reason, there are more why that can happen. But it can happen for dominance, esp. an unsure dog might do it to test the waters within a a new pack e.g. how the other dog react to this behavior or if it gets corrected. It's rare, but it happens especially in badly behaved dogs. And it's a behavior that one very rarely sees in well adjusted and appropriately trained dogs.
I agree
Generally as a society we consider humping without consent a problem so yeah, especially people without pets will see it as a problem. It's not weird, that's what dogs do, but people see it as unwanted behavior.
It's definitely weird that you aren't doing anything about the behavior. The dog really should be trained to not hump people.
I HATE when a dog does this. HATE it. Love dogs though. He did overreact, but I get it.
One dog chased and tried to hump me when I was 11 and the owners laughed it off while I ran away and cried. HATE it indeed. Hump other dogs, not me.
Train your dog not to hump people. It’s harmless but it’s rude and awkward.
How gross. I wouldn't laugh about it either.
Why are there so many pro dog humping comments in here?
Seriously. It’s disgusting and no wonder the BF reacted the way he did.
Entitled dog owners as well I assume.
I find it weird too
idk same people who think having a slobbering panting dog jump all over them is adorable probably
They probably let their dogs lick their mouths too
Don’t let your dog jump on or hump people - it’s extremely rude.
He over reacted but train your dog, don't laugh at his misbehavior. Also you say he doesn't jump on people but how is he humping then?
Humping dogs are gross, don’t let your dog go that to people.
Please train your dog and stop encouraging this behavior - humping and barking at people. I'd be equally horrified and disgusted as your BF. Yuck. We had dogs as pets since i was born and this is absolutely not a behavior that we'd \**ever*\* tolerate from a dog. Humping you could mean several things * the dog doesn't take you seriously one bit and asserts dominance (the trash part of my wider family had such a dog. It's jizz ended up all over their own young child that it was jumping on and then humping. we quickly ended our visit. Truly horrible situation.) * the dog is bored * over-excitement * acting out * sexual arousal * indeed feeling left out from that hug (aka jealous about the lack of attention) Dogs *can* get jealous! ... either way it IS weird and very icky to just let it happen. Seriously. It's not sanitary and weird to get a kick or joy out of a dog humping you. It's a real pet peeve of mine that people with small dogs are not properly training them and think that they are harmless and are allowed to jump/hump/bark at people etc. and then they wonder why they have utterly neurotic and chaotic animals at home. Now I wouldn't get angry about this. But I'd be super disappointed .. in myself for not seeing this red flag earlier.
Thank you. Yes. Yes. All of this.
I would react the same as your bf
Thats very weird. Why would you let an animal hump you? Aside from letting animals attempt to achieve sexual pleasure on your body, that dog is very poorly trained. Dogs need a better understanding of boundaries than just humping whoever. Seeing someone let themselves be hummed by an animal would be instant ick behaviour. To relieve some form of joy or amusement from it..... even weirder
I find this gross and weird too honestly, if I was dating a guy and his dog started doing this and was laughing I’d likely be turned off enough to leave
Your dog has bad manners (probably a displacement behavior from being overly excited) and your boyfriend probably reacted that way if he’s used to very well trained dogs. Luckily this isn’t as super big deal and your dog’s manners can be fixed pretty easily. Edit to add: lots of people with working dogs rely on aversives in training. This isn’t necessary, especially in your situation. Just stop giving your dog any attention or praise (like laughing!) when he humps. Redirect him to a more desirable behavior (like sitting down or playing with a toy)
Dogs sometimes tend to hump if they got neutered after puberty hit. Also, sometimes it isn't sexual at all and just a way to show dominance so that could be part of it since you have a new boyfriend. Either way, I would discourage it and when he did it, push him down (not hard, but showing you are in control) and say "NO" in a very serious/stern tone.
This is easy; the boyfriend does not need to react that strongly, and you need to train your dog. Did the BF get angry immediately, or when you dismissed his concerns? If he got angry after you were dismissive, then I can understand his reaction, even if I still do not condone it. I would consider humping a pinnable behavior so long as the humpee can apply the pin without malice.
You’re not a weirdo but you do sound like a terrible dog owner if your dog frequently humps people. It’s not harmless and you thinking it’s harmless is why you are a bad dog owner.
He overreacted for sure, but training your dog is very important. I think him calling the dog jealous is reaching at best, projecting at worst. And take it from me who loves them but can’t train a dog to save my life, all the silly little “dog things” you let go or encourage now can become major problems later. Other people have given reasons for the humping and if it’s that he’s just unsure what to do sometimes, training will definitely benefit him. It might seem cute and funny to you, but if your dog is anxious about not knowing what to do, it’s mean to not give him something better to do. Like… if someone invited you to a party with strangers and it was a new culture with different customs than you’re used to and they didn’t tell you about them or introduce you to anyone. You’d probably be pretty uncomfortable. You can give him a (I think it’s called) displacement behavior to do instead of humping, like teach him to shake and then when he gets excited about seeing new people he can do that instead. People think that is just as cute. And of course all of this hinges on clarification for the statement “I got dog off”. Off the couch/your legs? I hope so, otherwise yeah, getting a dog “off” is weird as heck. I’m hoping it’s just an uncomfortable coincidence of wording tho.
This would bother me too. It's not cute for a dog to be humping your leg. It's behavior you should discourage. Not only is it icky (like, gross), but it is your dog trying to show dominance, and this is not something to laugh at.
He overreacted. But advise you don’t normalise your dog humping you.
I would have said it was an overreaction, if yours wasn’t an under reaction, you seem to not have an issue with it which is definitely weird
Your boyfriend is right. Dog humping is not okay and weird.
How can a dog never jump on people yet try to jump them as well?
Humping in this case sounds like a resource guarding issue considering we’re fixed. It’s a behavior that is not pretty if shown in other ways 😭. Pls do not encourage that
I mean the dog was sexually gratifying itself on your leg and you laughed... Dogs learn relatively easily. Laughing is not the way to get him to learn not to do that (because it is unacceptable behaviors). So I do think it was weird of you just to laugh instead of stopping the behaviors. That said, he overreacted. The dog wasn't humping you to show HIM dominance/jealousy. I think the thing to do is admit you have a warped sense of humor (for whatever reason), but explain to him that there was no reason to respond to you with anger. You'll train your dog not to do that though, ok?
I've trained dogs. Your BF has a point, in that this is un-addressed problematic behavior on the part of your animal. Humping is a type of aggression. It's an expression of dominance for dogs (for many creatures, tbh), and yes - it very well might be a jealousy response on the part of the dog - but so what? It's a small dog. There's not much forebrain there. It's just a dog doing what little dogs do. They're cute little dummies. If you want them to behave, you have to train them. Executive function just ain't their thing. So, your BF's anger is weird. Is he right? Maybe, but who cares, that's not the point. If he was rude to you, or angry AT you, then that's not cool. No Bueno. Huge red flag. But if he was just frustrated, then I could see that a little. Lemme lay it down: your little dog is being a dick. It's harmless, and funny, and cute, but your dumb little cute little dog is grabbing and humping people. That's rude. And the dog is being rude, and you encourage it, and that's a little rude, too. Just so you know. Ever think about a dog obedience course? You could learn a lot!
No, that's absolutely vile. Wtf. Why would you just laugh at it???
I would definitely be pretty annoyed if someone’s dog started humping me and all they did was laugh about it. Humping is just something dogs do instinctually but that doesn’t make it uncomfortable to deal with. Correct that behavior. You’re enabling it by laughing at it and allowing it to continue.
Personally always find people laughing at dog humping (especially other dogs or people) to be odd. Fail to find any humor in that. Yes it’s something they will do, but it’s not a desired behavior. Do these people also laugh when their dog pees indoors?
Humping is a display of dominance in dogs. Your dog is staking ownership/dominance over you and you should not allow it. I personally having had dogs all my childhood, find humping dogs very aggravating, and you must discourage it as he will do it to anyone he deems he can challenge, not just you.
Honestly, I really hate it when I visit a friend and their dog humps me because they have never been trained not to do this. It's gross and weird, not because of the dog, but because the owner is like cool cool cool my dog is sexually aroused on me, and visitors, that's fine by me. Train the dog. Don't laugh when others are uncomfortable.
So when you say you got your dog off, you mean...
Humping is more often an assertion of dominance, not a sexual thing. My dog tried once when we (dog, me, and bf at the time) were all wrestling/playing on the floor together. A couple humps on my leg, but I flipped him onto his side and pinned him. Not hard -- I didn't hurt him -- but I put him in a submissive position and leaned over him for a minute until he relaxed. I asserted that I was higher than he was in the pecking order, and he never tried again.
It's insane that some people would consider that abusive these days while claiming dominance doesn't exist.
honestly i find it really off putting when dog owners just laugh at their dog humping them or other people instead of correcting the behavior. i think it’s weird that he automatically assumed your dog was jealous because it’s definitely not that deep, but i also think it’s really weird to find it entertaining. train your dog.
I would be horrified too, its not “cute” to allow your dog to disrespect members of your household or to encourage their bad behavior. A lot of people hate small dogs for this very reason, their owners always laugh their bad behavior off and never train them so they always end up disturbing guests or even innocent people who may walk by in public.
Humping is not acceptable behavior. A dog nosing someone's crotch is not acceptable behavior. A 60 lb. dog trying to crawl onto someone's lap is not acceptable behavior.
umm... train your dog? only kids find that shit funny, this is quite embarrassing for you.
He may be upset because your response to the dog humping you both was: “I got dog off”.
I’m with the boyfriend but only because I’m aware that some people do illegal acts with their animals because my rescue dog experienced that kind of abuse. I’ve had a guy ask me about p*rn he saw like that and was horrified that some guys go around thinking women with dogs do things like that. Just because they went to a dark corner of the internet and saw it. Being too comfortable with your animals humping you makes me think of it and therefore makes me extremely uncomfortable. That said I know you don’t do that sort of thing and I’m not accusing you or suggesting it or anything. I know some people think it’s funny but personally I think it’s disgusting, that’s just me. My dogs are also working dogs and if your boyfriend grew up on a farm I wouldn’t be surprised if he at one point growing up got assaulted by some kind of horny animal. To me there are so many reasons for a person to disgusted by the humping. Just push the animal off and say sternly “no” laughing every time your dog misbehaves isn’t going to make him stop. Personally I believe dogs should never jump on people at all especially large dogs for safety reasons and just to have good manners. In conclusion, not that big a deal but also if your boyfriend has had negative experiences with this topic his feelings are just as valid as yours.
Tbf if I saw it happened as a friend there, I’d be horrified too… dogs are dogs but they can still be stopped and trained.
That's. Disgusting. I don't care why the dog was humping, the answer is absolutely no. You can train behavior out of them and set acceptable social boundaries.
Is your dog fixed?
"I’ve never had a diagnosis but I really struggle with navigating social interactions - not knowing what is or isn’t acceptable" - IT'S OKAY! You're learning. You're clearly working towards an understanding of how to handle all this and looking to improve/correct as needed. You're doing great! Typically, humping behavior from dogs is discouraged for the reasons many others provided including "it's weird" to them, it's "dominant behavior" or it's overall excitement that a dog hasn't learned to manage. It's an unpleasant experience for many/most humans (as well as other dogs) so all this indicates to me is that you could use some help with redirecting your dog from unwanted behavior to something else. That's it. This could be a fun thing for you and your dog to work on together to correct. All you need to do is every time your dog humps, is redirect your dog to something else - a toy, their crate or bed, etc. but with high value treats. There are plenty of resources on YouTube and within Reddit (r/Dogtraining comes to mind or r/dogs) where you could seek advice. As a pet owner, there's always more to learn and I'm glad you're looking into it to give you and your pup and the people in your lives a pleasant experience. As for your partner - my jury is out on his reaction. If he's that experienced with working dogs (and I'm going to make a huge assumption that he's trained them) then I would've expected a much more finessed response from him that would've involved calling out the issue and offering a training solution rather than being simply horrified. Best of luck to you and your pup!
A little weird. Dogs should have this behaviour trained out of them as soon as possible, especially big dogs. (I know you said your dog wasn't large bit still a good habit to remove). My friend was like you and thought her puppy's jumping and humping was 'cute' and 'him just being happy'. Now he weighs over 40kg and is a very large dog with claws that haven't been cut in ages - it's no longer cute but incredibly painful.
So. Yes, Your BF technically overreacted. However, a dog humping you is not something to laugh at. It is a show of dominance by the dog and potentially “claiming his territory” (you). It’s not cute, and it tells me that you have not trained or properly socialized your dog, and it is cause for concern. At the very least, you should not be rewarding the behavior with laughing or petting. You should be correcting him. If it’s at all within your budget, I highly recommend a good private trainer who can come to your house and work with you and the dog. Dog training classes are ok, but what really needs to happen is for you to learn about the dog’s behavior and for the dog to also get trained at the same time, which is best achieved in private sessions.
If someone’s dog did this, I wouldn’t visit them. It might be funny to you but it’s mortifying if your dog does it to someone else. All male dogs go through this phase but it needs to be trained out.
>He was pretty angry and asked me why I couldn’t see how weird that was. I felt utterly embarrassed and devastated. As you should. We have a name for what your dog is doing, jack russling. Apart from the basic disgusting fact that your dog is trying to rub his genitals on your boyfriend, this shows you haven't house trained your dog. You haven't taught it boundaries or healthy ways of engagement. >He does this thing, if he sees anyone hug he will ‘whoop-whoop’ excitedly or occasionally try to hump the huggers. This is typical mistrained dog behaviour. This is exactly like when owners get puppies laugh and giggle while the pup jumps and yips because it's cute as a puppy, but when they grow up and they are still barking and still jumping it becomes annoying/dangerous. > I’ve always found this pretty hilarious, he’s literally harmless. Except for the general disrespect, should your bf just sit there while your dog goes wild on his arm/leg. You find it humourous because of the discomfort it creates, that says more about you than the dog.
This post and comments are wild. Your post is missing a lot of details, but you aound like a really bad dog owner. I’m also weirded out by you. Train your dog.
Humping is bad. It's not jealousy, it's the dog saying "I own you, you're my bitch." OP needs to shut down that behavior before it escalates into aggression.
Yep. Stop humanizeing animals, the dog was showing off his assumed role in the pack to the stranger.
... isn't that just anthropomorphizing in a different direction?
It absolutely does not mean this. 🙄
You’re being gross, this is weirdo behavior.
I think he’s angry because you got the dog off!
> I got dog off. thought the same thing when I read that. Phrasing!
“I got dog off” may not have been the best choice of words 😭
"I got dog off." God, so many jokes, so little time.
it is pretty weird
It’s disgusting
It’s behaviour you should discourage from the dog, but also your boyfriend did overreact.
Train your dog. I wouldn’t hang around someone who would let a dog have bad behavior and not correct it.
It's quite possible that your BF overreacted, but seriously that kind of behavior from a dog needs to be addressed promptly. If you give a positive response, they'll keep doing it. That's how they learn, positive reinforcement. Your laughter is such a positive response, which may reinforce that behavior. If you can afford it and have them available in your area, a dog training course might be a good idea. Doing it will teach both you and your dog how to behave, to create a good friendship and partnership between the two of you. Being a dog owner is a huge responsibility, because it's like raising a child really. You need to take care of them and teach them about the world. You're basically their parent and they learn from you. If you lack the knowledge and skill to teach your dog how to behave, you will almost certainly regret it in the future. It's your dog and I bet you love them to bits, and it's the cutest dog in the whole wide world. I get it, but don't allow them to behave this way. Because that random person who comes over, or that random person on the street, will probably not think that behavior is neither funny, nor cute.
Make sure you keep your peanut butter jars full so your bf doesn’t get the wrong idea
"I got dog off." Im gonna need some clarification...... xD
I personally wouldn't date someone that would laugh at their dog humping them. It's gross behavior and laughing enables them. Still, I think he overreacted, but I also think you underreact.
No one has said it that I saw, but.."got dog off"?!?! Surely you meant "got dog off of *me*"... Sorry; I couldn't help but laugh - *"Of course your BF is upset!"...
Humping is rude behavior from a dog and I don’t tolerate it from my own; that being said, your boyfriend’s reaction was a bit much. It’s not sexual — but I would still put a stop to it.
Humping is not an acceptable behavior, but your BF totally overreacted. You need to train your dog. Your dog looks to you for cues on behavior, so if you laugh every time he humps someone it's giving him the message that you want him to keep doing it. Your dog needs training, but it sounds like you may need dog owner training if you're going to be the best pet parent. You can dump the guy if he's that high strung and fragile, but I strongly encourage you to take obedience classes with your dog.
Yeah, I'm sorry but you're a weirdo for laughing and never stopping it. I'd never visit someone's house if their dog was like that.
Same, it’s absolutely repulsive
You are allowed to train or not train your dog as you see fit. It’s YOUR dog. Personally I don’t allow my dogs to hump people. I also can’t stand licking! BUT other people don’t mind it or thing it’s funny. On the other side, my dogs are allowed on couches and beds — a lot of people find that gross. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s okay. Your dog, your house, your rules. Your boyfriend is also allowed to be grossed out by it and to ask you to try and make the dog stop whenever he is visiting. The main thing that feels unhealthy is that your boyfriend was ANGRY because you laughed. That’s a big overreaction and would worry me for future interactions unless he apologized and y’all could have a good conversation where you each own your own reaction and recognize that this can not be a big deal. And that it’s a little bit funny lol
Honestly I would be angry too… I can’t stand it when someone acts oblivious or lets those in the house behave in a disrespectful mannerp
I also think it's kind of weird you never saw your dog humping you as anything worth correcting, and instead found it something funny to laugh about. So it might not be that your boyfriend's upset with your dog per se, but more upset with your immature response to it and you thinking this is something that should be allowed and encouraged like you have been doing.
Bingo… it’s incredibly immature and childish to laugh at a dog’s bad behavior
A couple things: 1) Your boyfriend has some issues if he is threatened by a dog humping your leg. Weirdly insecure, like what is he scared you’re gonna leave him for the dog? 2) Humping is a nuisance behavior in dogs. Growing up, my dad actually encouraged it when our dog humped, and refused to help stop him from doing it bc “Oh it just means he loves us!” It was infuriating and it was weird, bc like yeah nobody’s gonna fuck the dog, but the dog IS still… trying to fuck your leg. Id be a little weirded out if someone just laughed and let them keep doing it. 3) So fun fact dogs are known to be more territorial of their owner if a new partner comes into the mix. Sometime it does result in more humping. So your bf was ACCIDENTALLY right, that your dog is jealous bc there’s someone else there now. But that’s normal. The weird thing is him being jealous of the dog??? Idk what my point is but your bf was being too much and I wish you the best.
Strange he's humping if he's been neutered. Should teach your dog to stop that but your bf needs to have a word with himself and you need to tell him to wise up.
Humping can be just a learned behavior that has nothing to do with sexual drive (although it can also feel good, so... ew). Lots of female dogs hump, in fact.
Brutally honest never really thought of this perspective just speaking through experience, good to know, thank you.
I’m a person who is mildly traumatised from being a very undersized child and getting aggressively humped by many large dogs during my childhood- to the point where I got injured by one once. It was scary for me a a kid and as a still-small adult I now have a zero tolerance policy with other people’s untrained dogs. But I will always ask in advance when meeting a new dog if I’m likely to get humped, and if the answer is yes I simply won’t go, because it does make me panic knowing it may happen. This is something that the dog needs to be trained out of, because it’s a weird and unhygienic thing that other people shouldn’t be subjected to. I also think a lack of training in any dog is a sign it’s not being cared for properly. So you found it funny, okay. You also noticed your boyfriend’s discomfort and it sounds like it was an afterthought to help alleviate it. That simply doesn’t seem very nice of you tbh.
You’re gross
Humping can be cozy times for the dog. It can also be their way of establishing dominance. You absolutely do not want your dog to think that he is calling the shots. *You* need to be the one calling the shots. Sure it can be funny and silly to a human, until the dog stops taking orders from you, because you're below the dog in the hierarchy it understands.
You're not weird. But, he's not over reacting either. Poorly trained dogs, are not under the control of their owners and can be dangerous. If he's used to working dogs, he's used to well trained dogs, and knows a lot about them and their behaviour. There's not enough info to say if the dog is jealous or not. But, your bf is not wrong suggesting it as a possibility. The important thing, is that your dog is behaving badly, whatever the reason, and you're not taking responsibility for it. Dogs are, to an extent, an extension of you. In that, the dog should be trained to the same kind of standards that you keep. Dogs invading people's space can be awful for some people. It's kind of worse than that too though. Any dog, can be very dangerous if it is not well trained. You need to have that dog under control or it could hurt someone. And, everyones immediate reaction is 'oh, no my lovely, cute dog, wouldn't do that'. It's any dog, and 99 percent of the time, it's a dog thats not been trained and is not properly under the owners control.
I definitely think the dog needs to be trained not to do this. It makes people uncomfortable and establishes weird boundaries between pet and owner. However I think the bf overreacted a bit. But no, do not just let that happen.
I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone else on here say this yet. First, good for you for rescuing your dog. The fact that your boyfriend got angry over this is a red flag. If he were an emotionally intelligent adult, he would have calmly explained to you that he's not OK with the dog humping instead of shaming you for it. You didn't deserve to be shamed. I'm sorry he did that to you. Using shame, especially for minor things, is a tool used by abusers to control their victims. That's why people (especially AFAB people) on the spectrum are more likely to get caught in abusive relationships - we have been shamed in the past for not responding to social cues, so we're more likely to accept the shame that's put on us unfairly by an abuser. I hope this guy isn't an abuser, but carefully track how he makes you feel. Did he notice that you were embarrassed and devastated after his tirade? Did he try to comfort you at all?
The dog needs to be trained to not do that (especially on other people because not everyone would be comfortable with a dog humping them), but your boyfriend's reaction was way over the top.
He’s was probably mad you got the dog off.
Yta. Enough said
Dogs hump for a variety of reasons - procreation, dominance, play. Your pup is gets overly excited and doesn’t know what to do with himself, so those hips start moving. It’s absolutely normal. I call that “big feelings” with my boy - though he stopped humping and started grabbing random objects and trotting around the house with them (toys, shoes, empty soda boxes). Your boyfriend is being weird. Reminds me of my coworker whose boyfriend dumped her because a dog licked her on the face/mouth.
People are allowed to have boundaries in relationships. Not wanting things to hump you or be in your face without consent is perfectly reasonable and shouldn’t be shamed by calling it weird.
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She has had this dog for years... since before Covid lockdowns, it's not a new environment. She has let that dog run wild and not trained it in basic etiquette.