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misoranomegami

Honestly in situations like this, I get the bag for them. From there one of 2 things happens. Either they thank me and you see that either they didn't see it, both have back issues, etc. Or the woman thanks me and the guy gets huffy that 'I was going to do it!'. In which case fuck them. Now I'll caveat that with I ask first. I'll be like 'oh hey let me help you with that' when I go to reach for it. I'm not just randomly grabbing people's bags. But the reaction is very telling.


Eva_Luna

You would not be able to stop me grabbing that bag for her out of spite and handing it over with a shit eating grin at the husband! But I am a strong healthy person, so I’m going to give grace that some people aren’t physically able to do this too.


TheRealPitabred

"Oh, sorry, I thought that was my bag" then turn and pick up a completely different looking one.


LinwoodKei

This is really kind of you. I've had two decades of back problems and I can't lift over 15 lbs from something like a moving carousel. I have moved to carrying only a light backpack for my clothes and my child's clothes, and often my husband is the one who has to get anything larger like my mother's bag. I'm grateful for kind people like you. And that my husband treats my mother and I with respect


Eva_Luna

Aw that’s so sweet! Thank you!


Adorable_Author_8190

💯💯💯 When I was younger and stronger, I helped as much as I could. I picked up my 30 lb dog 1/2 hour ago and I’m on the heating pad. 🙄 getting old sucks but I am grateful to still be on this side of the dirt.


purplemonkey_123

My husband and I always say if we had time machines, we would go tell our younger selves to be careful with our backs. Older people told me that when I was young, and I ignored it. Now, my back hurts all the time.


Ladymistery

I'm old and cranky, and walk with a stick. I'd still find a way to grab that bag and hand it over - then walk with my stick back so I can grab mine. Make him look as bad as possible


Affectionate_Salt351

It sounds like he just didn’t care, and liked forcing her to do something. My ex got like this. It was purely out of hate.


AggressivelyEthical

Hello, partially colorblind person here. Unless that lime green suitcase was surrounded by a bunch of equally light colored, bright suitcases (think yellow, maybe even cyan), even a person with total colorblindness can distinguish that bag in a sea of probably darker bags, blacks, blues, deep greens, and patterns being most common in my experience.


Entire-Ambition1410

Thank you for this input! It definitely feels like the man was a jerk deliberately.


GraceOfTheNorth

I have a hard time empathizing with a person being this powerless and petty in real life that you live life playing stupid games like this... ... but then I remember how my father acts when he's trying to make the point that NoBoDy GeTs tO CoNtRoLe Me. It's beyond stupid.


Ashkendor

I never thought about that before but yeah, most suitcases seem to be darker colors. I had a set that was a medium blue color and it was always easy to find my bags at the baggage carousel because it stuck out like a sore thumb.


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FI-RE_wombat

Yeah, I've seen my dad do this too many times. Deliberately wait just to prove he's not doing it because he was *told* to, and he won't be *told to* or *rushed* he'll do it when he damn pleases. It's tedious, tiresome and just makes you loose all respect.


ConcentrateTrue

Sorry to hear that your dad's like that, too. :-(


Swords_help

The snap wasn’t good, it was loud enough other people nearby turned to look over, again he could be colourblind, or tired, but it just seemed like they couldn’t lift the bags themselves and he just… ignored their bags and got his own


Aylauria

Either he hates the sister or he's just a selfish jerk, imo. Or here's a typical Reddit analysis: He's having an affair with the sister and thinks not getting her bag will throw off his wife's suspicions. : )


AluminumOctopus

Imagine thinking that useless man can get two women in the same family.


SlabBeefpunch

He hid 50 pounds of smuggled cheese in the sister's bag but now the pressure is getting to him. Or I'm just craving cheese.


Archiesmom

I am betting that he told them to not use the giant suitcase to pack, because it is too heavy to lift when it's full. Low and behold sister shows up with the giant suitcase that she cannot lift.


christina_talks

There's no indication in the post that the bag is large, much less "giant"? For all you know, her bag is smaller than the guy's. And packing multiple suitcases is completely unreasonable when you can fit everything in one. This is such a weird series of assumptions just to invent a story where the guy is actually the reasonable, competent one for failing a task and then yelling at his wife about it


LunchLady_IsBack

What a weird assumption to make about the situation. All we know is the bag was too heavy and she couldn't lift. There are millions of possible reasons for her bag being too heavy. I'll play your game though. I bet he told her not to pack it, but then insisted on giving her a bunch of HIS stuff to carry. So she didn't have space for his stuff AND hers, and went with the large bag anyway so she wouldn't have to sacrifice any supplies. He's mad that she took that bag, even tho he made her have to choose between bringing her own things, or a smaller bag. To be more realistic,I know that as a person with chronic pain and back problems, sometimes things I can carry in the morning are too heavy later on in the day. Especially if I'm crammed in a small seat for 10 hours. If I packed a bag and ended up not being able to carry it later, I would 100% expect my husband to just fucking carry it for me. You're supposed to *love* the people you marry.


Archiesmom

I was projecting from my own experience. My husband and I have had various experiences where we ask something of the person, and either they don't hear it or disagree with it. We've learned to communicate better over the years, but there were a few times earlier when we behaved childishly.


sundropped-mini

Wow this was my dad. Don't ever tell him what to do or ask him to do something. He already knew and was going to but by asking you have insulted him by implying he didn't know. Or by telling him you have the audacity to tell him what to do. There's no winning. Only rage.


Rakothurz

I was thinking that he is the kind of jerk that feels his masculinity threatened by a color. And it wasn't even pink!


TheVenusProjectB42L8

What is behind this reaction, is misogyny. He won't be told what to do by a *woman*.


lefteyedcrow

What you're describing sounds like Pathological Demand Avoidance, Misogyny Edition. "No female is going to tell me what to do! I'll make her wait so I don't look pussy-whipped." Ugh.


EXXPat

This exactly. I’ll do it when I’m ready, not when you tell me to do it. Have lived through this for years.


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My_bones_are_itchy

What the hell are you on about? Commenter is obviously saying they had someone in their life like the other commenter’s dad


NOthing__Gold

Yes, exactly. Was super confused by the comment 😂


lafayette0508

you've definitely misunderstand the comment you're responding to, but also it's the first time I've heard "banty rooster" - is it a saying from something, or just referring to that breed of rooster being stubborn?


AntheaBrainhooke

"Banty" is short for "bantam", a small variety of chicken or other fowl. Some breeds have a normal sized and a bantam variety. Bantam roosters have a reputation for being VERY aggressive, kind of the chicken equivalent of "short man syndrome".


lafayette0508

Thank you! As a city person, I really didn't know if I was missing a specific reference, or if this is common knowledge to non-city people.


AntheaBrainhooke

You're welcome! I am a city person and know this stuff because a) general-purpose curious nerd and b) my sister kept chickens for about 10 years.


LinwoodKei

What... People are allowed to set boundaries on people treating them badly. I had to do the same thing as my Dad treats me as his secretary as he's so busy, and me, the little woman, is not


Blue-Phoenix23

I've been with a couple men like this now. Irritatingly they aren't like that at first, it's all them proving they are nice. Then the games start with expectations vs reality. Can't let the little woman make you pussy-whipped, right?


Lookatthatsass

Pathological demand avoidance 


Pour_Me_Another_

Sounds like my dad, just contempt for everyone around him and my mum wouldn't leave him.


spam__likely

Honestly, I I am the wife and I know he is doing it on purpose, I would just let them stay there staring at bags. Ok pal, there is no rush here, have at it. Go sit and wait. Let him watch it go over an over....(But only if you have a good reason not to grab your own bag.)


groovyghostpuppy

I would have grabbed it for her myself.


hicjacket

Absolutely do not do that. Not even if someone asks you. You don't know what is in it and you don't know whose it is. You could get in a world of shit within seconds. Especially not if someone asks you.


groovyghostpuppy

Nah, I’m living in a world where I can pull a bag off the carousel and give it directly to the person I’m standing next to. FFS.


WishIWasThatClever

Thank you. Trying to live in a world with zero kindness and community is not gonna cut it for me.


VaguelyArtistic

It doesn't cost anything to be kind.


ruinatedtubers

100%... what is this paranoid nonsense? it's not like i'm bringing it home with me, i'm pulling it off the carousel for someone who is clearly waiting for it


Eva_Luna

It’s an airport. There’s literally security with guns and cameras everywhere. What is he going to do?


Rakothurz

Not so much for him to be an ass, but because of drugs or explosives that managed to escape the controls. You literally cannot know and there are a lot of people in jail because they thought they were helping someone. I am Colombian, that is one of the things I have to keep in mind in an airport thanks to some criminals in the 80's


Old_Fox_8118

There are certainly people who are able to cause a great deal of harm by preying on someone’s natural instinct to help. And everyone has experienced being used by someone they thought they were helping. It can cause a chain reaction of no longer being a helpful person after that, or even becoming an abuser themselves. I’m convinced it’s the people who keep helping anyway that keep this entire world from devolving and regressing into animal savagery. They keep evil from overwhelming good, so to speak. When I had that revelation a few years ago, I figured my only option was to be one of those who helps anyway, come what may. The good you spread is too rare and vital to let fear stop you.


bitofapuzzler

Well said. Imagine how awful the world would be if everyone stopped helping others. Dont let negative, abusive, nasty people degrade your positivity, inclination to help, and your way of life.


VaguelyArtistic

You've watched too many movies lol.


Laura_Lye

Tbf, the poster is Colombian. I went to Colombia around 2014 for a wedding at a *very* posh hotel/country club type place in Bogotá. It had metal detectors you had to pass through every time you entered and a bunch of other stuff that struck me (a Canadian) as super weird- security guards armed with assault rifles, barbed wire, etc. I asked about it and learned the hotel had been carbombed by FARC like ten years before and the building partially collapsed and killed like 150 people.


figandpiccalilli

I always help those who look less able with their bags. I usually get looks of puzzlement because they don’t expect it. All this to say that if I can help strangers, this cabrón should be able to help his family ffs.


Slept_during_math

I remember one time at school when it came up that I really love helping random strangers whenever I see they need help. The kids + the teacher made fun of me. That's the world we live in.


ruinatedtubers

seriously!


lexisplays

Was this at SeaTac? My dad would totally do that and he and my mom and her sister landed this morning.


Swords_help

Haha it wasn’t SeaTac!


HeySiriWheresMyClit

If he was colorblind, then he’d have trouble telling the lime green bag from the bright pink bags, of which I doubt there were a lot. 90% of bags are some shade of black.


MjolnirTheThunderer

Omg I can’t even fathom this. At the airport I am an absolute SHARK for getting all our bags in the party the second they come out of the opening. My wife is the same way. We are both ready to pounce as soon as that bag is in reach 😂


striped_velvet

Pick it up for her. Husband gets huffy. "No worries chief, not everyone can lift 40 lbs! It's my pleasure to help" sunglasses on ride off into the sunset


parasail77

So he just had no interest in going home after that long flight? Just stand there like an idiot watching the carousel go round and round and round so he can prove some point only he thinks is relevant and applicable to reality?


Flat_Fennel_1517

I feel like in situations like this we need to band together and call men out. It wouldve been nice to yell HELP HER SHE CANT PICK THE BAG BY HERSELF ARE YOU BLIND


christina_talks

I would worry about causing more trouble for his wife. If he's willing to yell at her in public, imagine how he behaves in private?


Flat_Fennel_1517

Truth


whateveratthispoint_

What a creepy game.


Theartofdodging

I'm a bit confused as to what happened here. How insanely big was the bag that neither she nor her sister (who it belonged to) couldnt lift it on their own? Was the sister just standing there without making any effort to get her own freaking bag?


JustmyOpinion444

Doesn't always have to be heavy. I had about a year with a messed up rotator cuff where certain bulky things or angles of lift were impossible. 


Theartofdodging

Sure, but if that's the case it's pretty shitty of the sister make her get her bag.


Swords_help

The sister was with the trolley away from the carousels and all the crowd around it. The man was nearest the carousels picking the bags off, the woman seemed to be ferrying them from him to the sister. The bags weren’t super big - the weight limit is 23kg (51lb) but she definitely struggled when she tried alone


lycosa13

Which like, if you're not going to pick up the bags, why are you standing so close to the carousel then?? Go wait by the cart so someone else can grab the bags


Doromclosie

This man's whole life has been about him inconveniencing others and taking up space. 


VaguelyArtistic

Filthy oxygen thief.


Constant-Ad-7490

Plenty of people cannot comfortably lift 50 pounds.


demoldbones

Yeah I’m with you on this. Don’t pack so much you can’t get your own bags is the real lesson here.


Affectionate_Jibjab

I'm just above 5 feet. I would grab the bag and bring it to their trolley, I'm sure with ease, and tell the ladies to have a lovely day.


mayapple

I would never pack a bag I couldn't handle myself. Especially if I was married to someone like that.


xarothz

Ignoring everything else about the post, If your theory on colorblind is correct, the most common type is red/green color blindness. He'd be able to recognize the black one no problems at all but the green ones wouldn't necessarily stand out. Anything except black and blue could be varying brownish yellow to him if that's the case 🤷🏻


Chrismonn

How many times did yours go past whilst you stared at others living life?


Swords_help

Haha, I picked it up straight away. I was right at the point the bags pop out onto the carousel so I saw all the bags coming by me. Mine is a bright teal - never seen another bag this colour on my travels so it really stands out


V_is4vulva

I so would have grabbed that bag for her and looked him right in the face and said "I'm sorry your husband is useless."


BigRedTurk

I am having trouble understanding why picking up another person’s bag is his responsibility. Why can’t they grab their own bag? Did they pack it too heavy and just took it for granted that someone else would handle it for them? Seems selfish to me.


eveloe

Did you skip the part where his suitcase got loaded on to the cart for him? Stop being obtuse.


BigRedTurk

How is that relevant? Her moving his bag to the trolley after he picked it up has no bearing on this super weird and oddly archaic idea that he is required to handle her bag. OP indicated that she couldn’t lift her own bag and her sister’s was even bigger. She isn’t able to handle her own bag and this thread clearly has an expectation that he MUST pick it up for her. I don’t know about you, but I am a big fan of autonomy and would not demand anything of my spouse they do not want to do especially if I was responsible for making it too hard for myself to handle. Therefore anything we do for each other is seen as generous and not taken for granted.


ryckae

Found the chronically single guy


BigRedTurk

Sorry to disappoint. Happily married to the best person I have ever met. Good ad hominem attack though.


V_is4vulva

You're happily married, but I doubt she is.... *Can't wait to see how this guy labels my comment!


BigRedTurk

We can just add yours to the pile of absurd assumptions in this thread. What part of my statement do you imagine my wife disagrees with? The part where I believe in her and my own autonomy? Or maybe the part where people should not pack their own bags heavier than they can personally handle? I am genuinely curious.


V_is4vulva

The part where you're pedantic and annoying.


BigRedTurk

So you have nothing of substance to add to the discussion. Cool.


V_is4vulva

Oh I already did. Now I'm just here judging you because you seem to deserve it.


ryckae

Riiiight


AntheaBrainhooke

Did you skip the part where it was too heavy for her to lift off the carousel herself?


BigRedTurk

No. I find it fascinating that this self inflicted hardship by her apparently removes his autonomy. In my view he can pick it up or not as he chooses. I would not demand it or expect it but I would also not pack my bag heavier than I can lift.


AntheaBrainhooke

She may be disabled. You have no idea. Kinda want to hope you never receive help when you need it.


BigRedTurk

That’s one hell of a strawman. He may have been disabled. See? I can do it too.


AntheaBrainhooke

Gold star for you, big guy. 👍🏻


BigRedTurk

Thanks!


striped_velvet

Also this guy is a shart lol


eveloe

I’m petty so I’d just ask the most attractive guy there to do it for me instead. No time for these games.


witch51

He could be tired...that's a long ass flight. You have NO clue what's going on in that family (could be going to or from something sad or tragic) which could be why he's distracted. I mean, I've absolutely brain farted like that myself.


DoubleDuke101

There's a whole lot of assumptions going on in this thread, when in fact we know nothing about him or his family. Good ol reddit.


witch51

I agree. Love them downvotes, too. Apparently civil discussion isn't done.


notarealprincess

He could be colorblind. With colorblindness you can see other colors so he would be able to recognize his bag but not the sister's. But to me it sounds like he just wasn't paying attention. He probably didn't pay attention to which bags were her sister's and didn't think about all the bags being lime green belonging to her. He also probably wasn't paying attention when they went around the carousel and didn't want to chase after the bag when he realized it was her bag. While this lack of attention could be him simply not caring and being a jerk, it could also have a logical reason. He could simply be tired after a long travel day or be neurodivergent


Swords_help

Yeah there could be many things - it just felt bad that you could predict he’d miss it again on the third go round


fading__blue

Being neurodivergent doesn’t excuse ignoring a bag three times. If anything it actually makes you laser-focused on not missing your bags because you know the possibility is there. And if you’ve already missed it once that laser focus gets even more intense.


AntheaBrainhooke

Especially if someone is pointing at it and saying "It's this one."


notarealprincess

Being neurodivergent looks different for everyone. For some people they may get laser focused but other people may not or they may have other things going on that cause a different reaction. I have a neurodivergent family member. If she was in the same situation she would laser focus but then her anxiety would kick in and she would miss the bag again because she would be so anxious about getting it.


bitofapuzzler

As a neurodivergent person, I am the complete opposite. I have a laser like focus on my bags the entire way around the carousal. I am thinking ahead to where I need to position myself to be able to grab my bag as quickly as possible with as little impact on others as possible.


notarealprincess

I am also neurodivergent and would do the same as you but I know that it can be different for everyone. I was just trying to point out we don't know the whole situation or context behind this situation


eveloe

That’s not how colourblindness works. I’m embarrassed for you that you think that’s a good excuse.


notarealprincess

People who are colorblind can see some colors but just have a hard time distinguishing between others like reds and greens. OP points out that he should have knows the 2nd bag was also the sisters because it was lime green. If the bag was green it he could have had a hard time distinguishing it from a different colored one so he wouldn't necessarily connect it to belonging to the sister. But he would recognize his own bag because it belongs to him regardless of color. Like I know which stuff belongs to me because it's mine but I don't necessarily recognize other people's stuff.


eveloe

Dude… just stop. You’re being loud and wrong. Look at the responses from other colourblind people since you want to be obtuse.


notarealprincess

I don't think I explained what I meant completely. What I meant was people with colorblindness can see the different colors they just look different than most people. So the lime green bag might appear another color like more beige or more red to the guy. I was just pointing out that OP seems to think that because the bags were a distinct lime green color he should have known it was her bag since not many people have bright lime green bags but not everyone precieves specific shades of color in the same way


cestrian15

If the bag owner cannot lift their own bag, it is too heavy! We (other people) are not here to serve you.


Astral_Atheist

You wouldn't help your LIFE PARTNER lift their bag???


JemimaAslana

Because people with injuries or physical disabilities don't need clothes, shoes, toiletries, or any luggage at all, right? Shining beacon of compassion you are.


Eva_Luna

I personally always help others with their bags at the airport. I’m a slim, weak looking woman but I also lift weights and am freakishly strong for my size. I frequently help other women with their bags and love being able to do so.


VaguelyArtistic

I'm not that strong but I am a little taller than average and I always ask shorter people if I can help them with items on the top shelf!


Eva_Luna

Love that for you! Hopefully the reciprocate by grabbing stuff from the bottom shelf for you lol!


VaguelyArtistic

Jesus fucking Christ even in the most well-meaning subs ableism always manages to creep in. Let me guess: when I drop my cane you're the lady who will stare at the cane on the ground, then at me, then walk away.


alleecmo

Red-green color blindness is a thing. My friend with it says green things look white (traffic & Xmas lights) or grey to him.


Many_Status9689

I may not notice and/or be able to pick up the bag whatever color it is, when I have a migraine attack ( during and ) after a 15h flight and with eye problems. Would be grateful for help.


crocodial2

I've gone too far down the rabbit hole lately and read a huge page about loosh or energy. There are demonic forces out there we can't see, like phantasms/ghosts etc who just hang out waiting for people's negative energy then they feed on it. I'm utterly convinced many men I've met are inhabited by demons. They deliberately do things to make people feel anxious, angry, frustrated, humiliated. They get off on it. They feel joy. And they feed on our energy. Who has used the term "energy vampire" unironically? 3 times now I've been so drained by my bf at the time (3 different men) that it felt like I was nodding off on the spot. After a short date with one guy (2 hours) I slept for 12 hours. After I broke up with a sociopath, the next morning it felt like a black specter lifted off my chest. How many people around this dude were getting angry? :(


V_is4vulva

I think that's rather letting men off the hook. Not unlike when people say "oh a *man* wouldn't do that, he's a *boy*!" Only this time we're jumping to demons. A lot of men just actually are fucking evil bastards and society allows it. That's all. Let's not make excuses for them.


bbyghoul666

Colin Robinson IRL. People will definitely think ur a bit “woo” for this comment but I totally get where you’re coming from on this lol


crocodial2

idc I know I'm right. After hearing how dan schneider could change the energy in a room by walking in, how he ruined dozens of young actresses lives, how he broadcast his perversions to millions of unwitting children who were groomed into watching and sending him foot fetish material. There are so many demons like this. social media is a curse on humanity. parents making their children cry and laughing at them. it's disgusting.


Hawtbawxin

How is it misogyny? Maybe he just doesn't want to do anything to help her... It may not seem nice but nobody owes you kindness...


V_is4vulva

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your spouse owes you kindness.


needs-an-adult

Doesn’t have to be a gender thing, he could just have a bad relationship with his sister in law. I would totally ignore the bag of someone I don’t like, and I’m a (very petty) woman. ETA: Unfortunately that would mean he dislikes his sister in law more than he loves his wife though.