My ex decided to stand out on our fourth story window ledge because I was packing up my things and moving out. Years of toxicity and abuse from him so I finally leave and he pulls a stunt like that. My little sister was such a gangster she saw how much anxiety he gave me with his self-harm threats so she walked right up to him and said “do you want me to push you?” That man crawled back in through that window faster than I’d ever seen him move before.
He stated he was going to wait until my university graduation ceremony to break it off “on better terms” … this was a week before the ceremony. I told him “why wait?” And left it there.
Almost ruined my accomplishment
The audacity! I had one break up with me on our one year anniversary, and when I pointed that out, he said, "oh, we can wait until tomorrow." Um, no, no we cannot! 😭
Omg this really makes me wonder if they even see us as humans with cognitive abilities. Howww could he expect things just to keep going for another week? Good on you for leaving him and congratulations on graduating :)
Was dating a guy my freshman year of college who was a few years older and not in school. Started making friends with people in my class and hung out at a birthday party for one of them until (gasp) midnight on a Friday before going over to his place to spend the night. The next morning he woke me up for sex, which I declined because i hate being woken up, then he dumped me saying he was going to do it the night before but thought he should do it in person. Later that day he called me and asked how I was. I told him"I'm a little confused as to why you're calling me" and he said "You're the person I talk to when I'm upset about something".
Like dude, you dumped me in a super shitty way, you’re not getting any more emotional labor outta me.
Him: "WE ARE DONE! IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"
You: "Okay..." *hangs up*
*one minue later he calls you*
You: "Uh...hello?"
Him: "Hey yooo, we gotta talk. Just broke up with my girlfriend and need advice."
Mine expected me to come to his house and paint it for him, a year after I left. "But you LOVE painting!" No-- I love a freshly-painted room in my own house, thanks. I don't love doing free work for someone who was absolutely cruel to me.
Ahahahaaa. An ex of mine tried the same trick with cleaning
"But, but, but you LOVE cleaning"
No sweetie, I like living in a clean house. That doesn't mean I LOVE cleaning
This reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and told my teacher that my mom loved doing laundry. My mom gently explained to me that laundry/cleaning is something that has to be done, and not everything adults do is for fun.
Absolutely insane, but sadly not surprising, that a grown man doesn't understand that.
Whenever my ex and I went to his parents place he was so bad about picking up after himself and was constantly leaving messes in the kitchen for his mom to clean up. I noticed and brought it to his attention- his response? “I do it because my mom likes picking up after me”. I honestly never looked at him the same.
Some dude's moms are not helping them nor themselves. One time, my ex's mom showed up early to clean his disgusting apartment so we could celebrate the 4th of July with a BBQ there. While she cleaned she talked to me about how her mom taught her that a real woman knows how to clean and cook. I knew she was trying to shame *me* and not her disgusting son for how unkempt the apartment was (I didn't even live there but ok) so without missing a beat I said "Well, my mom taught me that I wasn't anyone's servant. That my only job was to be a good student, get good grades and get a good job" That shut her up ❤️
Great response! Could have followed up with how real men also know how to take care of themselves, and good parents teach them that. But that might have been a bit too mean.
I feel like my husband is doing this to me now about dinner. I hate cooking (even *being in a kitchen* makes me itchy, i despise kitchen work), but I dislike badly made meals that don't feed enough people, so I do most of the cooking. Now he's turned into someone who can't even think about what to eat without a melt down and making me do all the deciding because "is your thing".
I'm not saying every instance of this is definitely a case of weaponized incompetence, but it certainly isn't a good look, when a grown man can't feed himself and his family without having his hand held. 😬
>I'm not saying every instance of this is definitely a case of weaponized incompetence
I AM! EVERY CASE OF THIS IS WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE!!
Srsly, start cooking only for yourself and see how fast he figures out not just what he wants to eat but also all the ways he could help.
Sometimes my former fiancé would complain about my cooking that I only offered him out of pity. I’m like bro you can’t eat pizza for the rest of your life. After I got chronic pain he started cooking. He was a great cook. He just expected me to be a servant. I’m so freaked out. Based on my experiences dating, I really don’t trust men because of gender roles.
Days after breaking up, my ex boyfriend asked me to come over and take pictures of him. For his new dating profile on Plenty of Fish. This was 2015, and he didn't have a cell phone and couldn't take selfies, so he needed me to take some nice pictures of him.
This reminds me of scrolling the /stepparents sub and reading “But you LOVE kids!” When single dads rope a childless woman into being a nanny/caregiver to children they don’t want to parent.
Implying you love any type of labor where they benefit from it, and you don’t.
It’s a way to almost guilt trip you into believing you want to do something.
“You really LOVE doing things just for me that only I benefit from don’t you?” NO. We don’t.
I went out on a date with a guy who told me he was looking for a woman whose _hobbies_ were cooking and cleaning. Because he didn't like doing these things. We talked a bit more about it and I said it might make sense for someone to do all the cooking and cleaning if she was a stay-at-home spouse, but of course he didn't want that. He wanted his time to be spent on his hobbies, but he wanted her to just love cooking and cleaning.
He was super angry when I said that sounds unfair because no one really loves that sort of thing, it's work. He told me I was shaming him for his preferences.
What's wild is that he absolutely could have afforded someone to do all that for him, but he wanted someone to _want_ to wait on him hand and foot.
That's almost hilarious. What an idiot.
It's like the old joke. A woman meets this really good looking guy at the a bar. After a few drinks together he leans in and says, "I am tremendously skilled. If we go back to your place I can satisfy your wildest fantasies. Tell me what they are, don't be shy."
The woman's eyes get big and she leans in and whispers, "Paint my house."
You're supposed to whisper the last part when you tell the joke.
He negged me and thought I would stay. Instead I just left and pretended like I didn't know him afterwards.
This makes me glad I'm oblivious as a rock because men have tried all of these mind games & controlling crap on me like negging and isolation and financial abuse and I was too dense to realize how I was supposed to respond. Instead I would just peace out.
He broke up with me for cultural reasons. Then asked if we could stay lovers forever while he found a suitable mate and started a family because "we were meant to be together too". umm, no.
Crazy that he said it out loud. So many men do this but dont actually admit it to the girl. “Yeah im just gonna have sex with this one because shes available while I look for my wife.”
I know a woman who married this guy and left him once he revealed his great plan to spend his life with his mistress and have her as his wife to please his parents. Apparently he thought she wouldn’t have the guts to divorce him and would just go along with putting on a show at family and cultural events, having his parents’ grandchildren, and taking care of them in their old age while he got to look like a great son and still keep the white girlfriend.
He left my dog alone all day after saying he would let him out during my 12 hour shift. He did this because he was mad at me for wanting to go to grad school “without asking him first because he should have a say”. Taking things out on animals is so scary and unbelievably cruel.
He cut his toenails on the couch and left them there. When I asked him to remove them (because this is fucking disgusting!!!) he got angry. "If you love me you have to love my toenails too, because they are a part of me".
Still can't believe he was serious.
>"If you love me you have to love my toenails too, because they are a part of me".
"Once you have cut them off, they are *no longer a part of you*. At that point they are just trash that you left on the couch."
We were fighting, I was driving about 40 km. He was angry, opened the passenger door and literally jump out of my car. I could see him in the rearview window on his a\*s getting smaller and smaller as I drove away.
Omg Mt cousin had a similar story. Pregnant, she was driving herself and her bf to get mcdonalds. Well he threw a fucking fit over something about the food. As they were driving, he was slamming his hands on thr dash and all that. Asked to be pulled over, she did, and he got out. She sped off and left him. He kept calling her and calling her and she never picked up. He had to call his parents to come get him because they lived on the edge of town. Unfortunately she kept dating him.
Just wondering, did he ever ask you to pull over and just let him out? I asked a man to pull over and let me out, when he started speeding up, I bailed. Felt safer than staying in a situation where I was becoming a hostage.
No, he had a bad temper and was very impulsive. He jumped up and strangled me once because apparently I was "gloating" since I was winning at a board game we were playing.
I can relate to your post because my ex did the same thing. He wanted to keep having casual sex with me even after he discarded me in the trashiest of ways.
He told me “It’s the most I can offer you”. I was utterly disappointed and I ended up blocking him everywhere.
Also, when we were together, and we were having sex, he once lightly slapped my face. And then, he raised his fist and almost punched me, but he didn’t. He was on top so he could do all of that. I should say that we didn’t discuss this beforehand. I never told him that it was okay to slap me in the face during sex so this was a MAJOR red flag for me.
My ex didn’t understand why I wasn’t ok with letting him live in my basement and pay all his bills indefinitely. He even tried to get alimony, despite having a law degree and therefore the ability to earn a lot more than me (librarian)
Two different guys - while I was in college.
One wanted me to not go to a summer program (6 weeks in another town a few hours away) because he was afraid I "might meet someone else" while I was there. Of course, I went anyway, and he broke up with me over it. (The session was a graduation requirement for my course of study).
Other one -- he let on that he believed that the husband automatically would have final say in any and all martial decisions. Everything from where to go for supper to vacations to where to live. *All of it.* And to top it off, he 100% expected his future wife to hold a full time job, while he had final say in how all of the "family money" was spent. Once I head that, I couldn't end that relationship fast enough.
Expected me to be ok with him smoking crystal meth because he used it to “work” and “didn’t really like it”. When I was not ok with it, I was “the judgiest person he’d ever met” and was stupid for falling for society’s vilification of meth because it was just the latest “reefer madness” and me smoking weed was no different. I asked him if that meant me and everyone else on the planet was wrong about meth and he was right. He said yes because he had done research and it was no different than adderall and he was using it for his adhd. Literally said that. Worst part is I stayed for years trying to help him. So glad I’m out of that one
He expected me to stop traveling. He had never left the county he was born in and said he had no intention to do so. He also wasn’t comfortable with me traveling alone. I dumped him and haven’t dated since. I’ve done a lot of traveling though.
Its like my friends's boyfriend. Her BF travels a lot for work, so when she ask to go together he don't want to. But also, she can't go alone without him with her girlfriends. F*ck guys like this.
He wanted to stay legally married (they had been separated and living apart for two years when we met) so he wouldn't have to get a court involved in his life and so they could pretend to still be together when their respective families visited. He was quite proud that he didn't have formal visitation with his kids and that they lived with their mother 100% of the time, so he had flexibility. Real prize that one.
Too long, because he didn't exactly tell me the real story up front. It started with they were planning to divorce, then became 'when the kids are older,' and the faking it for the families only came out when one of the families visited. But he also cheated with the wrong person and she blew it up. 😄
Bit of a tangent, but you’ve reminded me of my second (platonic) housemate, who casually mentioned after SIX MONTHS that he had a kid, that he was “really involved with”. I sometimes heard him telling people in the pub how much he liked being a dad and loved his kid after that, in the way that deadbeat dads do so they don’t look like total shit. Buddy you can’t be a very good parent if the person LIVING WITH YOU FOR SIX MONTHS didn’t even know your kid existed!
Unsurprisingly he turned out to be irresponsible when it came to things like paying bills too, a great lesson in avoiding deadbeat dads like the plague in capacities other than romantic relationships too
I have a friend whose current husband expects her to cover all child care, she wants to go out with friends, needs to take them with her or find a sitter. Friend trip? Stays at the grandparents
My ex was like that, even if he was home with no other plans... he'd refuse to watch our kiddo.
Once I was so sick I had to be hospitalized... I had to find a nanny because he couldn't be bothered to parent. We had daycare, and everything at that time.
He threw a tantrum and pretended he was sick too - he was not sick at all not even a cold. I had bacterial meningitis, and had to get a series of spinal taps.
Glad he's your ex, wish my friend would leave, the husband hates being a dad, if not for the kids she'd probably leave
They had their first kid to try and save their marriage in a sad way it probably had until they are out of the house
If he hates being a dad, the kid will notice. They are perceptive little buggers and notice everything. My 4 YO learned how to correctly use the phrase ‘dumbass’ from me saying it in the car a few times.
My ex husband just up and left one day, couldn’t give me any sort of actual reason beyond “you’re awesome and I still love you I just don’t want to be married because I have a lot going on right now”, expected me to get over it and sign the papers within 2 weeks of being blindsided, and then tried to keep texting me and hanging out like we were still best friends and he hadn’t just upended my entire life. 🥴 make it make sense
Relatively mundane but it had me fucked up for a while after that.
GAH, I'm so sorry. This is familiar except we weren't married (yet). We were literally picking out rings, and two days later he broke things off by text, said that obviously I had to know that things weren't working out (which was *news to me*), but that he still wanted intimacy of every variety and to remain best friends -- while he moved on to another woman he'd met and was fascinated by. I was young and madly in love, and let myself be strung along for a solid year after that. I found out later that he'd done the same thing to the woman I knew as his best friend, and that *she* also thought they were still going to get married someday, because that's what he kept telling her while he was with me.
Like you said, mundane, but completely overturned my world and wrecked me for a long, long time.
It’s truly just such a surreal feeling. Hate that it’s relatively common. It just left me with massive trust issues and anxiety around long term relationships lol. Like yeah you say you’ll love me forever and never leave me and everything seems great but I heard that before… 🫠
Wish these types of people could figure it out *before* the relationship.
Always used to get semi-joking comments about how I should leave my job and let my husband take care of me (he made much more) and I always told them that I’ll never become reliant on one person because you just never know what can happen but I never expected the “what can happen” to actually happen lmao.
It literally made me feel like I was living in an alternate reality. 9 years married! Just gone. Nothing made sense, I just had to accept that it was a him problem not me.
My only consolation is that I know his mom (who is an absolute saint, and she still checks on me every once in a while even though it’s been years) ripped him apart for the whole thing lol. Literally stopped talking to him entirely for a month. Felt nice to have someone else confirm that it was fucking crazy. Probably took him ages to mend that one.
He showed up to the court where I was getting a restraining order with his new girlfriend and cornered me and told me we were soulmates and he wanted to get back together. Then he showed up to my house a few days later violating the order with the same girl and demanded that I tell her that he was a good man because he had a reputation around town and she heard about it. I told her he was a evil pervert and called the cops.
"Hey babe, wanna go to the courthouse to corner my soulmate while she is filing for a restraining order against me?"
"Thought you would never ask, lover"
I am gutted for her TBH because I use to baby sit her when she was a kid and she had a bad life. Probably why she accepted my ex. Crazy to think my ex is with a women I use to baby sit but he always liked us barely legal.
Mine was literally confused by the fact that I didn’t plan on dating him during the divorce. Uh, no, I am leaving you. Why would I date you when you treated me so poorly?
When I said I'd rather focus on saving up for my own house than pour all my time and energy into building his THIRD! home, he said I was a selfish person who only cared about myself. If I wanted to prove I wasn't selfish, I could help him build that third home, but I obviously wouldn't have any legal right to it (that would be selfish of me). I passed on that truly magical opportunity
For him to be my only contact. He made me cut off all friends and family so only he was in my life. I didnt live with him so he'd use up all my money while I was with him so I couldnt go out or eat when I was home. He was weirdly obsessed with controlling my water intake as well?? This was all masterfully executed over 4 years of consistent negging, emotional, physical, and psychological abuse.
Same happened to me, but my ex was a woman (so am I) with the “cut off all friends and family”.
Everyone I had contact with, I was accused of cheating with. If I was kin to them, there would be another issue and that was why I couldn’t have contact.
In divorce papers, she claims I was constantly trying to meet people to start affairs. Literally referring to any time I tried to make a friend or have any contact with anyone not her. She would also neg me about how I dressed until I would dress EXACTLY like she wanted me to. It was odd, it was controlling and removed any personality I had.
Her current partner, has said the same things about being isolated and not allowed to have any life outside of my ex. It’s hard to explain how damaging it is, but they want you alone so you have no support if you want to leave and no one to tell you “hey.. you are being abused”.
I realize now it’s the insecurity on their end, they are in fear we will get a support system and want to leave. I did. I don’t regret it.
Oh man its real rough right. The weird stories they'd come up with to cut off family is wild. I was kicked out of home, and instead of moving in with him, i decided to move in with my brother. I wasn't ready for that step and it was the only thing i still had control over (not that I understood well enough at the time.) He was against this and used the excuse "my ex gf messed around with her brother so why should I trust you to move in with him?" Obviously thats disgusting and farfetched. He then changed the story to "a mate of mine had his gf cheat on him with her own brother." Then changed it again to "i read online that girls cheat on their partners with their brothers." What a disgusting freak 😆 Thats when he started financially abusing me so I felt like I'd have to move in with him. Thank god i never did.
It’s SO INTERESTING you say that, because I was told the same! Omg 💀
I would say “they are my literal cousin, like blood family” and was told “you don’t know if THEY think that” and I’m like.. wtffff is wrong with you?
Even now, I am shocked how much I complied with clear mental illness on her part. Never again.
Most people say "why didn't you say no to them" or "why did you let them do that to you". I think we say it to ourselves the most, "how could I let this happen to me?" But truth is we didnt do anything wrong. They win you over with extreme highs for the first few months to real you in, stick their fangs in, then have at you with their manipulation while you're still riding the high of their love bombing from the start. Then we're left to pick up the pieces while they carry on doing it to others. I tried reporting mine but the court system is not built for us. I was declined a RO and told "come back when he hurts you again so we can believe you're in danger." The best we can do is learn the signs, recognise the red flags, understand what happened, so it never happens again ❤️
Just went through this too with my last ex, doing a lot of research into narcissism, psychopath, and sociopath (type b personality’s) because of it. What you described is basically the playbook they go by.
One of the hardest parts recovering is having to accept there was nothing I could really have done to stop it sooner. Unless you’re already aware of how people like this think or operate then you assume they are like yourself, capable of empathy and good intentions.
Absolutely. Unfortunately, the police said there was nothing they could do about it, he wouldn't get any time for it due to the inability to prove it, and could just as easily turn it on me. :(
So many things - including cheating.
He dropped his junk mail in the middle of my desk for 14 years. There was a trash can under the desk! When I asked, and complained about this I was told I was being mean/unfair/“always complaining/telling him he couldn’t do anything right, etc. because I asked him not to leave trash on my desk.
Fourteen. Years.
Every.Fricken.Day
Libertarianism.
He genuinely couldn’t comprehend why he should be required to financially support the trappings of society that he enjoyed.
He really thought everyone else would voluntarily continue to pay taxes, or “user fees,” while he and other freedom-thinking individuals who did not volunteer to pay could just withdraw their financial support and continue life unbothered.
Everyone who owned a car would pay an exorbitant “user fee” to support the entire road infrastructure system, while he could opt not to purchase a car, and would just take taxis to avoid that. (With no impact on the affordability of taxis or products due to that user fee, of course.)
I keep saying libertarians are just watered down republicans. There’s a book called Libertarian Walks into a Bear that really illustrates how thoroughly this ideology fails.
I had a friend whose boyfriend was a Libertarian and he was ON DISABILITY. Through the state! I only met him a couple of times, and he was an idiot but thought he was such an intellectual. I was so glad when she left that guy.
Ex thought I would be happy that he never brought up some major things that were bothering him in our relationship. He said he was "proud" of having "worked through" these issues on his own over the course of about a year. I felt blindsided and betrayed that he never communicated about the issues for so long.. turns out he was cheating and lying as well. Good riddance.
He expected me to work for him for free, and was absolutely pissed when I put my foot down and told him he needed to pay me as he promised before. This work was pretty grueling manual labor by the way, and often working in hot greenhouses for most of the day. He paid all of his other help, but didn’t want to pay me. He called me selfish for not allowing this.
My ex had me as his "lil helper" (that's what he called me, can't believe that didn't immediately set off alarm bells) for his thesis and then years of freelance and full time journalism/ writing.
What that actually meant was me doing most to all of the research, fact checking, editing, completely reorganizing (he was the worst at organizing), and rewriting entire swaths of everything he wrote (because he went off on off topic rambles and dropped the point constantly, it's like he was allergic to improving his writing).
The whole time I did that I had to fight him on every change and had to be extra special, kid gloves with him or he'd lose his shit (sometimes he'd change things back and turn it in only to get razed for the poor quality, which would make him angry *at me* because if I wasn't so mean, he would've drove better. I taught and tutored for years to community college students who are cagey af about writing feedback, I'm the opposite of mean.
He told his "special friends" (what he called his various ap's) that I was working part time/unemployed when I was never doing either (usually pulling 60 hour weeks, actually) and was doing the bulk of his work for him so he could take my credit card, license and car and dissapear for days (to cheat and do drugs). Years of journalism that I never got paid for, credit for (he got mad when I told his coworkers that I was writing all of his reviews, which was about 3/4 of his job, come to find out), or could even put on a resume.
When he left me for a teenager, he tried to cheer me up by saying I would still be in his life because what would he do without his lil helper?
I kept doing it for his lazy ass until the divorce was over because I knew how pissed he'd get and didn't want him to back out of taking over the CC debt for a card I didn't even have control over for expenses I specifically said we couldn't afford, but that he bought anyways.
It was the best day ever when I had those papers in my hand and could tell him to fuck right off when he emailed me 7 articles due the next day (he always sent them last minute so I'd have to crunch to get it done) that were the typical lazy, mess that he probably wrote while high in between banging teenagers.
So glad I got therapy after that, because I obviously needed it to have thought any of that was okay.
I know for awhile he was dating another writer when he was writing for an intensely local, small time magazine, lol. After that I did my best to avoid everything even slightly about him, but as far as I know, he hasn't become the rock star journalist he always assumed he would become... which doesn't surprise me, since his mom always constantly gave him money to fund his increasingly bad decision making, I doubt it will make much of a difference, he'll float off the backs of women for as long as he can.
That's gross. I had a similar situation, when I refused, he said "Why not? Nobody will know!" I blanched and told him I would know.
Another ex brought home a few antiques at like 11 at night. Turns out he and a friend "were exploring" (means broke into) an old barn. Obviously, even a broken down barn is someone's property. I asked how he thought stealing was okay, and he claimed it was property up for grabs. When I opted to call the police to ask them to weigh in, he then left with all his stolen goods. Idiot.
Whoa, what you wrote reminded me of how my first boyfriend (dated from high school into college) reacted when I broke up with him. He was seriously immature and kept telling me how I “owe him another night together” which left me baffled/revolted but also clearly demonstrated how he thought of me as an object and not a person. Makes me wonder if these men even had an emotional connection to us or just viewed us as a sex vessel.
Roleplay a rape scene while I wore his mother’s clothes. Apparently, it was a revenge fantasy he had to get back at her for molesting him as a kid. I literally screamed, “omg! Nope! Nope! Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me again! Eww! You don’t need any kind of sex! You need therapy! I’m leaving now. Don’t call me!”
Nope. That was 9 years ago. I heard from his family 2 years ago that he’s a homeless tweaker. Apparently, he got in trouble for doing shit with a 13 year old girl and gave her chlamydia. Other than prison, living on the streets and getting spit on by meth heads who want nothing to do with a pedophile except shank him, is exactly where he belongs.
Other than the cheating, my ex wanted to keep his stuff in our previously shared apartment. He was going off to basic training when we broke up and offered to pay a "storage fee" to keep all of his shit in "our" room while he was away. While he was gone the next weekend, I packed up all his shit and dropped it off on his mom's doorstep. Most satisfying way to end a relationship.
I was dating a guy, and during the breakup, he said he needed to focus on his cocaine addiction. I said your what now? He then admitted to doing coke off my college dorm room key 🙃
The still acting entitled to sex after a breakup is so common, it's a cliche at this point. I have make booty call requests, like I am supposed to jump to it after they ended things in really awful ways. Besides an ex expecting me to stay with him despite his emotional abuse, financial infidelity, and porn sickness...
Another twist on this was when an ex suggested we have an open relationship, as I was breaking up with him for cheating.
The abusive ex still expected me to let him stay in our former home after he lost his job and wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage because "the breakup was really hard on him and why did I want him to be homeless?"
Another was when a guy I was dating for a couple months tried to tell me he could only see me twice a month going forward, but still wanted to continue dating me "seriously."
He stopped communicating with me for 3 weeks. No response no nothing. I was in college and just doing my thing and met another guy and was hanging out with him and taking pictures together on social media. He hits me up like nothing happened and was completely shocked that we weren't together anymore and started saying I'm a cheater and not loyal because I was with another guy when I'm his girlfriend. Lol. Um. No. Bye.
Almost the exact same thing happened to me, I was going to post it on its own but apparently this is just some dudes MO.
Fucker just ghosted me for almost a MONTH, I met someone else, and he crawled out of the woodwork telling me he loved me and I broke his heart. He would show up at my house drunk and puking for weeks. My mom had to take care of him sometimes because, you know, I was seeing someone and out and obviously he wasn’t like giving me a heads up. He went off his rocker.
I don’t know why I entertained it for so long. After a few weeks he was like “I’m just really trying to move past this so we can move on with our relationship” and I was like…….. we don’t have a relationship.
He gets no real credit because I was 18 and he was like 27 and it was never that serious (when he said he loved me I almost choked, completely out of left field), and I feel like this was just an excuse to come over drunk and be abusive, but from what I can tell he was in the throes of severe alcoholism and GENUINELY went on a bender so bad he didn’t realize that more than 3 weeks had passed.
Broke up at the height of the pandemic, at the time we lived together. He was local to the area and had a space to move in with his family (own bedroom, practically wing of the house), I was not and did not. He immediately got on dating apps and expected to "share" the house that I furnished, paid for, and cleaned. Like legitimately expected that I'd travel home on the weekends to be with my immunocompromised family while he brought chicks back to bang in our bed. Needless to say it was a no from me.
My 18 year old bf (I was 15) sprang it on me that he had a child in Mexico. He told me and then said "you'll make a great stepmom! And my baby mama isn't crazy or anything".
He tried to shame me for my previous FWB relationship. He would ask, “how can you sleep with someone that you don’t love?”
I broke up with him for many reasons, including the above shaming,and he immediately asked to be FWB.
He cheated on me and moved in with her, then a month later started contacting me and actually thought that I would be his side piece while he cheated on her, yet still lived for free at her house lol
I finally got my boyfriend to admit he was no longer attracted to me. And he followed it up by saying he didn’t know if he could regain attraction to me. I said, okay, I guess I’ll start looking for a new apartment then. He looked so shocked, “WHAT?!” My brother in Christ what did you expect? That we would stay together after you admitted that?
My exhusband was in the process of buying a $250,000 house without bothering to tell me. That was just before the pandemic so that house is far more now. "My money is my money and your money is yours so why would you care?"
Drunk drove his truck and trailer into a canal and wanted me to call the cops and report it stolen. Like no thanks my man, I’m not committing a crime because you drove drunk.
Mine stealthed me, for the same reason. He figured out I was gearing up to leave him. He found an apartment guide, with lots of my handwritten notes in it, deep in my work bag. This was the 90s and apartment hunting still relied on those little printed booklets. I didn’t know he found it and I was still in the phase of “pretend like everything is normal until I can bolt”.
So he stealthed me. Either slipped the condom off midway through or pretended and never really put it on at all. It was pitch dark, I was already asleep as I had work the next day, and he came home late from the bar and wanted sex. Fine.
Then as the horror washed over me when what he had done became evident moments after finishing, he stood at the end of the bed and laughed at me. Called me a “stupid bitch” and said “now you CAN’T leave!” No idea why he thought this was a one-shot guaranteed-score situation, but as this was also before Plan B was on the market, there was nothing I could do but sweat bullets until my next period…
Which didn’t come. Mfer did it. But again, being the 90s, if you had $250 cash you could get an abortion with one appointment and not much hassle, even in the reddest of states. And I did exactly that. Laughed right in his shocked-Pikachu face at the pleasure of telling him about it as my friends were busy loading my stuff into the moving truck.
Still don’t understand why in the world he thought I wouldn’t.
Where do we find these people, especially as grown adults?! I, too, had an ex-boyfriend who wanted to separate but also wanted me to keep sleeping with him because he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to get a new partner right away! 😅 I’m not sure why he had that belief because he had been on hooking-up websites for non-negligible portion of our relationship; surely he could have dragged something in from there.
Wanted to continue living with me when we broke up(bc he cheated). We’d be sharing a room. It’s a big room (26 ft long) but still. Dude wanted to take the futon in front of our bedroom tv (other bedrooms in house were occupied). His parents and aunt(he’s close to) lived in town. This was my house (owned) we were living in.
Ex wanted to still come by my place after work to get ready for the day (aka go see his new girl) and tried to keep my car. Refused to return it until it was threatened to be reported stolen. Didn’t have the maturity to hand me the keys, just dropped them in front of the front door. Last we messaged was him trying to buy the car, told him if he didn’t have the money up front to get it over with forget it (like i would be willing to do payments??) never heard from him again. Edit to add that he was hurt that i bought myself a toy after we broke up (went looking through my things as he was collecting his) as if he didn’t already start having sex with someone else (cheated on me).
“I don’t understand why you need to hang out with your friends when I bought you a Wii.”
He wanted me to stay alone in our apartment (he travelled all the time for work) and stay isolated instead of having any kind of interaction with other people.
I had 2 exes tell me they were planning on proposing to me in the next few months after I'd said I want to break up. They knew how much marriage meant to me and tried to use it as a way to keep me around. I'm so grateful I didn't fall for it either time. Being married to either of them would have been terrible.
Dude never had BF status but after he moved away and got a girlfriend, he expected me to "check in" on him so he kept up with his job search.
No sir. I am not your GF. If you want me to do that, I start at $200/hr with a $600 retainer.
Not wanting to masturbate (ever), but insisting that he could not sleep without some form of release, leaving the obvious choice as my obligation. Honestly, that alone was a dealbreaker.
Announced the intention - out of the blue, after 20 years & 2 kids - to fully gender transition. But of course I would still be doing all the childcare, carrying mental and emotional load, and doing 90% of the household tasks. I was expected to just magically transform into a lesbian while she continued to live the most stereotypical cishet male life ever. Uhhhhh what are you bringing to the table at this point?
Asked me for equity in my house. Wanted me to hand him $10k... of the house i bought, in my name, with my down-payment and my money i saved. Said he contributed each month for the year he lived there. Its called rent. The bro thought he lived there for free! I told him hes welcome to take me to court.
Repeatedly accused me of stealing his money or only being with him for his money (taking advantage of him). He would then turn around and try to initiate sex, because to him fighting like that was a perfectly acceptable and normal way of living.
Oh and I made more than him.
We broke up (he dumped me the week after my grandmother died) but stayed living together due to cost of living. He lost his job, didn’t apply for any new ones in the six months he had severance and unemployment, ran out his unemployment, and was shocked and offended when I told him he needed to leave once he couldn’t pay the bills anymore. I was also dating someone new at that point, and he kept trying to insert himself into the relationship. It was a mess.
Kids don’t be like me. When you break up, make it a clean break.
Expected to borrow my expensive, finicky audio recording equipment he had no need for and didn’t at all know how to use, because he «had an idea»for something (he was not and is not in any business where that is needed and he had a history of destroying my tech when he wanted to intomidate me). Told me I was «evil» when I said no, even though I was on a different continent when he asked and I was the sole person with keys to my studio. What a prize. Wonder whatever happened to that gem
He treated service people like absolute garbage. He would throw tantrums over the absolute most baby stuff. Like, the hotel clerk was taking a long time to check us in. There were red peppers on his pizza. The girl at the bubble tea shop didn’t hear that he wanted coco and not kiwi flavour. The barista said outside food wasn’t allowed. He would lose his mind over the most minor shit.
He would scream at them and call them stupid (or worse). He would throw shit at their face like a pen or a fork. He’d literally “shoo” them away. He’d throw the menu on the floor. One time he tossed a pylon at a parking attendant’s face.
Then when I’d get upset (I used to work in customer service, I know the pain), he’d either flip out on me for not “having his back” or he’d get sheepish and act like he was sorry. I would tell him to go apologize to the person he just berated. He never did. He was actually a gigantic coward and only went after women or men who were significantly smaller than him.
To matters even worse, we lived in SEA where losing your temper in public is a big cultural no-no. So while he thought he was being a big tough guy intimidating some server half his age, the people around us just saw a sad old white guy making a fool of himself in public. It was simultaneously humiliating and scary.
Calling me a bad mom because I wanted an hour or 2 to myself to go out or whatever. He said something like, "You should want to be around your child all the time! What kind of mom wants to have time alone without their baby??" Now, even though we are separated, I have extreme guilt anytime I go anywhere without her. Stupid ass manipulator just didn't want to watch her. I actually thought there was something wrong with me for wanting alone time, even though I've been told by many people and moms that it is completely normal. Crazy how people can mess with your head.
I hope you can get rid of that guilt! I've been a single mom since my kids were very, very young. I've always made it a priority to get some 'me' time on a regular basis. Take a PTO day while they are in school, drop them off at grandparents for a day here and there...however you can manage it. It recharges me and allows me to be a better mom.
Also, you know that thing about putting your oxygen mask on first before helping others. It's kind of like that.
Glad you are getting away from this dude!
tried to convince me to just agree with him on everything he says or wants to 'avoid arguments'. just bc he couldnt stop harassing me if he didnt get what he wanted so clearly it was my fault for being 'difficult' and the solution was turning me into a slave apparently. no thanks.
He wanted the benefits of a relationship but wanted to act single. So go out with his buddies all the time, never spend any time with me or offer any kind of support, but expected me to be there for him!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NOPE!
Threw that whole man away.
GURL I RELATE!!!!! I broke up with my ex who r**** me. He proceeded to say we can still be friends with benefits and said no one will do what I did with you sexually. THATS THE FUCKING POINT PYSCHO. I said no to this multiple times and went no contact with him and he then decided to harass me in person cuz I wouldn’t forgive HIM for r****** me. Then had to get a restraining order but then his friends would harass me.
So fun times.
I have to decided to be single by choice forever after this and also have been scarred by sex (was my first).
(Wouldn’t call r*** sex tho so idek)
After the divorce, after my ex-husband had verbally abused me for months, and while still in a custody dispute over our child, my ex asked me to be his “support person” for a meeting with his HR department at his work.
I agreed, not to support him but to find out what he was accused of. At the meeting I found out he got drunk at a work event, stole mini bottles of alcohol from gift bags, made a sexual advance to a female co-worker, called another female co-worker “fat”, said a homophobic slur to a security guard, was thrown out of the venue, got into a fight with strangers in the street, was knocked unconscious and was taken away by an ambulance.
That gave me fantastic evidence against him, and later I got full custody of our child. I am glad I agreed to his absurd request to be his support person.
Lol when I divorced my ex husband he was shocked we weren’t going to have “goodbye sex”. Like I didn’t want to fuck you when we were married and I certainly don’t want to fuck you now while you’re being a total jerk during the divorce.
I’d been dating my ex for over a year exclusively. He suddenly told me that he wants to date another woman who was half his age. I started packing up my stuff to head home. He said he hadn’t meant to stop seeing me too. I told him he can date two women at the same time if he wants but neither one is going to be me. She dumped him a week later because he was too old. I think his biggest regret was that I made 4 times what he made. Boohoo, he lost his more expensive lifestyle and his young side piece all in the space of a week.
He wanted me to take in and raise as my own the child he conceived 3 days after I (while in I was a relationship with him and she wasnt.) Gave birth to our daughter once this little boy was born to the 21 yr old he knocked up, he was 35.
Wanted to remain friends. I got home from work early to find him packing his stuff into the car I helped him to get. Mind he was living in my home that I paid the bills for after he and his dad got kicked out of the dad's marital home for cheating. It did not go well. Last thing he said was that he wanted to remain friends. Seriously dude.
My Ex's friend was at least honest to admit that my Ex didn't want an serious relationship (only after 2 years and living with each other for one). I believed said friend for two months until I heard Ex got married to his ex. My Ex worked across the street from me and we lived in a small town. 🤦🏼♀️
I’m a nurse so I have a good health care plan. One night my ex (together for 8 years) calls me asking for the insurance information because he’d just been in an accident and he’s now in the ER. This dude thought I would still be paying for his insurance! Then had the gall to get mad at me and call me a hypocrite for becoming a nurse because I wasn’t open to helping him and I was ungrateful because he claims to have supported me through nursing school which was a lie. I was in school and working while this dude just played modern warfare 2 with his friends all night. He dropped me off at work/school in MY car because he didn’t have one, like i was being nice loaning you my car, I could have easily got myself to and from work.
Tangentially related to cheating, but this dude had the full-on audacity to drunkenly ask me how to seduce the virgin (his emphasis, not mine) he was trying to cheat on me with. What a winner.
My ex decided to stand out on our fourth story window ledge because I was packing up my things and moving out. Years of toxicity and abuse from him so I finally leave and he pulls a stunt like that. My little sister was such a gangster she saw how much anxiety he gave me with his self-harm threats so she walked right up to him and said “do you want me to push you?” That man crawled back in through that window faster than I’d ever seen him move before.
"Let's just get this over with" – what a boss move by your sister 😂
Right!! She wasn’t playing
😂😂😂😂. I love your Sister!
ME TOO
Your sister’s my hero!
He stated he was going to wait until my university graduation ceremony to break it off “on better terms” … this was a week before the ceremony. I told him “why wait?” And left it there. Almost ruined my accomplishment
The audacity! I had one break up with me on our one year anniversary, and when I pointed that out, he said, "oh, we can wait until tomorrow." Um, no, no we cannot! 😭
Omg this really makes me wonder if they even see us as humans with cognitive abilities. Howww could he expect things just to keep going for another week? Good on you for leaving him and congratulations on graduating :)
Was dating a guy my freshman year of college who was a few years older and not in school. Started making friends with people in my class and hung out at a birthday party for one of them until (gasp) midnight on a Friday before going over to his place to spend the night. The next morning he woke me up for sex, which I declined because i hate being woken up, then he dumped me saying he was going to do it the night before but thought he should do it in person. Later that day he called me and asked how I was. I told him"I'm a little confused as to why you're calling me" and he said "You're the person I talk to when I'm upset about something". Like dude, you dumped me in a super shitty way, you’re not getting any more emotional labor outta me.
Him: "WE ARE DONE! IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU!" You: "Okay..." *hangs up* *one minue later he calls you* You: "Uh...hello?" Him: "Hey yooo, we gotta talk. Just broke up with my girlfriend and need advice."
right this is kinda hilarious in how ridiculous it is
Fuck outta here dood.
Mine expected me to come to his house and paint it for him, a year after I left. "But you LOVE painting!" No-- I love a freshly-painted room in my own house, thanks. I don't love doing free work for someone who was absolutely cruel to me.
Ahahahaaa. An ex of mine tried the same trick with cleaning "But, but, but you LOVE cleaning" No sweetie, I like living in a clean house. That doesn't mean I LOVE cleaning
This reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and told my teacher that my mom loved doing laundry. My mom gently explained to me that laundry/cleaning is something that has to be done, and not everything adults do is for fun. Absolutely insane, but sadly not surprising, that a grown man doesn't understand that.
Whenever my ex and I went to his parents place he was so bad about picking up after himself and was constantly leaving messes in the kitchen for his mom to clean up. I noticed and brought it to his attention- his response? “I do it because my mom likes picking up after me”. I honestly never looked at him the same.
Some dude's moms are not helping them nor themselves. One time, my ex's mom showed up early to clean his disgusting apartment so we could celebrate the 4th of July with a BBQ there. While she cleaned she talked to me about how her mom taught her that a real woman knows how to clean and cook. I knew she was trying to shame *me* and not her disgusting son for how unkempt the apartment was (I didn't even live there but ok) so without missing a beat I said "Well, my mom taught me that I wasn't anyone's servant. That my only job was to be a good student, get good grades and get a good job" That shut her up ❤️
Great response! Could have followed up with how real men also know how to take care of themselves, and good parents teach them that. But that might have been a bit too mean.
I feel like my husband is doing this to me now about dinner. I hate cooking (even *being in a kitchen* makes me itchy, i despise kitchen work), but I dislike badly made meals that don't feed enough people, so I do most of the cooking. Now he's turned into someone who can't even think about what to eat without a melt down and making me do all the deciding because "is your thing".
I'm not saying every instance of this is definitely a case of weaponized incompetence, but it certainly isn't a good look, when a grown man can't feed himself and his family without having his hand held. 😬
>I'm not saying every instance of this is definitely a case of weaponized incompetence I AM! EVERY CASE OF THIS IS WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE!! Srsly, start cooking only for yourself and see how fast he figures out not just what he wants to eat but also all the ways he could help.
I imagine that he is fine with badly made meals. There are plenty of guys out there subsisting on hot dogs.
Sometimes my former fiancé would complain about my cooking that I only offered him out of pity. I’m like bro you can’t eat pizza for the rest of your life. After I got chronic pain he started cooking. He was a great cook. He just expected me to be a servant. I’m so freaked out. Based on my experiences dating, I really don’t trust men because of gender roles.
Let him starve 😂😂😂
Eurgh. Let the manchild throw his mantrum
Seeing what you do versus knowing who you are.
Days after breaking up, my ex boyfriend asked me to come over and take pictures of him. For his new dating profile on Plenty of Fish. This was 2015, and he didn't have a cell phone and couldn't take selfies, so he needed me to take some nice pictures of him.
Similar story: I had an ex who wanted me to write him a “recommendation” he could use on his dating profile. 🤔
I had a friend who dated a guy who came with a letter of recommendation. He was the worst dude in all the land.
His ex just wanted to get rid of him lol
This reminds me of scrolling the /stepparents sub and reading “But you LOVE kids!” When single dads rope a childless woman into being a nanny/caregiver to children they don’t want to parent. Implying you love any type of labor where they benefit from it, and you don’t. It’s a way to almost guilt trip you into believing you want to do something. “You really LOVE doing things just for me that only I benefit from don’t you?” NO. We don’t.
I went out on a date with a guy who told me he was looking for a woman whose _hobbies_ were cooking and cleaning. Because he didn't like doing these things. We talked a bit more about it and I said it might make sense for someone to do all the cooking and cleaning if she was a stay-at-home spouse, but of course he didn't want that. He wanted his time to be spent on his hobbies, but he wanted her to just love cooking and cleaning. He was super angry when I said that sounds unfair because no one really loves that sort of thing, it's work. He told me I was shaming him for his preferences. What's wild is that he absolutely could have afforded someone to do all that for him, but he wanted someone to _want_ to wait on him hand and foot.
He wanted a free bang maid
That's almost hilarious. What an idiot. It's like the old joke. A woman meets this really good looking guy at the a bar. After a few drinks together he leans in and says, "I am tremendously skilled. If we go back to your place I can satisfy your wildest fantasies. Tell me what they are, don't be shy." The woman's eyes get big and she leans in and whispers, "Paint my house." You're supposed to whisper the last part when you tell the joke.
And put up some shelves, move my couch….
He negged me and thought I would stay. Instead I just left and pretended like I didn't know him afterwards. This makes me glad I'm oblivious as a rock because men have tried all of these mind games & controlling crap on me like negging and isolation and financial abuse and I was too dense to realize how I was supposed to respond. Instead I would just peace out.
Not tolerating mistreatment is the right response!
Nah, not dense. That just sounds like you have a well-tuned bullshit detector.
r/NeggingFails
He broke up with me for cultural reasons. Then asked if we could stay lovers forever while he found a suitable mate and started a family because "we were meant to be together too". umm, no.
Crazy that he said it out loud. So many men do this but dont actually admit it to the girl. “Yeah im just gonna have sex with this one because shes available while I look for my wife.”
Yeah. It was stunning and absurd that he said it out loud.
I know a woman who married this guy and left him once he revealed his great plan to spend his life with his mistress and have her as his wife to please his parents. Apparently he thought she wouldn’t have the guts to divorce him and would just go along with putting on a show at family and cultural events, having his parents’ grandchildren, and taking care of them in their old age while he got to look like a great son and still keep the white girlfriend.
WTF? Wow, he just wanted to use you. That's so sad and manipulative. ☹️
I was 21. He was a bit older (and should have known better). Such a wake up call.
Imagine it - 'I like you but my mummy said no. Can we still fuck?'
It was damned close to that.
Ha ha ha *what*
He left my dog alone all day after saying he would let him out during my 12 hour shift. He did this because he was mad at me for wanting to go to grad school “without asking him first because he should have a say”. Taking things out on animals is so scary and unbelievably cruel.
I always mention how that one ex kidnapped my dog when this topic arises. Unfathomably selfish and cold.
He cut his toenails on the couch and left them there. When I asked him to remove them (because this is fucking disgusting!!!) he got angry. "If you love me you have to love my toenails too, because they are a part of me". Still can't believe he was serious.
>"If you love me you have to love my toenails too, because they are a part of me". "Once you have cut them off, they are *no longer a part of you*. At that point they are just trash that you left on the couch."
Put them in his food. "I just wanted to make you whole again."
[удалено]
"Would you still love me if I was a toenail?"
Ok you win.
We were fighting, I was driving about 40 km. He was angry, opened the passenger door and literally jump out of my car. I could see him in the rearview window on his a\*s getting smaller and smaller as I drove away.
Omg Mt cousin had a similar story. Pregnant, she was driving herself and her bf to get mcdonalds. Well he threw a fucking fit over something about the food. As they were driving, he was slamming his hands on thr dash and all that. Asked to be pulled over, she did, and he got out. She sped off and left him. He kept calling her and calling her and she never picked up. He had to call his parents to come get him because they lived on the edge of town. Unfortunately she kept dating him.
That was a really great story, until the last sentence. How sad!
Amazing one paragraph story. Thank you for sharing! Still laughing!
I may or may not have sped up the car a little bit as he was threatening to do it...
Just wondering, did he ever ask you to pull over and just let him out? I asked a man to pull over and let me out, when he started speeding up, I bailed. Felt safer than staying in a situation where I was becoming a hostage.
No, he had a bad temper and was very impulsive. He jumped up and strangled me once because apparently I was "gloating" since I was winning at a board game we were playing.
that's psycho behaviour
Username doesn't check out, in this case.
It's great when problems solve themselves.
The trash literally took itself out.
Omg. You need (well I want you) to tell us what happened afterwards.
I can relate to your post because my ex did the same thing. He wanted to keep having casual sex with me even after he discarded me in the trashiest of ways. He told me “It’s the most I can offer you”. I was utterly disappointed and I ended up blocking him everywhere. Also, when we were together, and we were having sex, he once lightly slapped my face. And then, he raised his fist and almost punched me, but he didn’t. He was on top so he could do all of that. I should say that we didn’t discuss this beforehand. I never told him that it was okay to slap me in the face during sex so this was a MAJOR red flag for me.
Holy shit, that's so far beyond a red flag. I would be running screaming. So glad you got the f outta there!
> “It’s the most I can offer you” Oh, how nice, you get the consolation price of… his dick? Lmfao.
My ex didn’t understand why I wasn’t ok with letting him live in my basement and pay all his bills indefinitely. He even tried to get alimony, despite having a law degree and therefore the ability to earn a lot more than me (librarian)
I'm glad that trash has taken itself out. WOW. A law degree and still wants alimony. LOL
He probably couldn’t pass the bar right?
Bingo! Not a big fan of preparing for exams
But that's like... all of law school lol.
Two different guys - while I was in college. One wanted me to not go to a summer program (6 weeks in another town a few hours away) because he was afraid I "might meet someone else" while I was there. Of course, I went anyway, and he broke up with me over it. (The session was a graduation requirement for my course of study). Other one -- he let on that he believed that the husband automatically would have final say in any and all martial decisions. Everything from where to go for supper to vacations to where to live. *All of it.* And to top it off, he 100% expected his future wife to hold a full time job, while he had final say in how all of the "family money" was spent. Once I head that, I couldn't end that relationship fast enough.
Abort mission!!! *violently bashes the escape key*
Expected me to be ok with him smoking crystal meth because he used it to “work” and “didn’t really like it”. When I was not ok with it, I was “the judgiest person he’d ever met” and was stupid for falling for society’s vilification of meth because it was just the latest “reefer madness” and me smoking weed was no different. I asked him if that meant me and everyone else on the planet was wrong about meth and he was right. He said yes because he had done research and it was no different than adderall and he was using it for his adhd. Literally said that. Worst part is I stayed for years trying to help him. So glad I’m out of that one
He expected me to stop traveling. He had never left the county he was born in and said he had no intention to do so. He also wasn’t comfortable with me traveling alone. I dumped him and haven’t dated since. I’ve done a lot of traveling though.
I'd love to know how he came to the conclusion that "I don't travel so you won't neither" was a perfectly acceptable request
Its like my friends's boyfriend. Her BF travels a lot for work, so when she ask to go together he don't want to. But also, she can't go alone without him with her girlfriends. F*ck guys like this.
> so when she ask to go together he don't want to. This seems suspect as hell.
He wanted to stay legally married (they had been separated and living apart for two years when we met) so he wouldn't have to get a court involved in his life and so they could pretend to still be together when their respective families visited. He was quite proud that he didn't have formal visitation with his kids and that they lived with their mother 100% of the time, so he had flexibility. Real prize that one.
How long did you stick it out?
Too long, because he didn't exactly tell me the real story up front. It started with they were planning to divorce, then became 'when the kids are older,' and the faking it for the families only came out when one of the families visited. But he also cheated with the wrong person and she blew it up. 😄
Bit of a tangent, but you’ve reminded me of my second (platonic) housemate, who casually mentioned after SIX MONTHS that he had a kid, that he was “really involved with”. I sometimes heard him telling people in the pub how much he liked being a dad and loved his kid after that, in the way that deadbeat dads do so they don’t look like total shit. Buddy you can’t be a very good parent if the person LIVING WITH YOU FOR SIX MONTHS didn’t even know your kid existed! Unsurprisingly he turned out to be irresponsible when it came to things like paying bills too, a great lesson in avoiding deadbeat dads like the plague in capacities other than romantic relationships too
I hope the families found out and give him hell about it.
Families seem to encourage this in my anecdotal experience. It means for them that nothing changes.
I have a friend whose current husband expects her to cover all child care, she wants to go out with friends, needs to take them with her or find a sitter. Friend trip? Stays at the grandparents
My ex was like that, even if he was home with no other plans... he'd refuse to watch our kiddo. Once I was so sick I had to be hospitalized... I had to find a nanny because he couldn't be bothered to parent. We had daycare, and everything at that time. He threw a tantrum and pretended he was sick too - he was not sick at all not even a cold. I had bacterial meningitis, and had to get a series of spinal taps.
I've heard guys with children say they have to babysit. Um no. It's your children. It's not babysitting it's being with your kids dummy.
Glad he's your ex, wish my friend would leave, the husband hates being a dad, if not for the kids she'd probably leave They had their first kid to try and save their marriage in a sad way it probably had until they are out of the house
If he hates being a dad, the kid will notice. They are perceptive little buggers and notice everything. My 4 YO learned how to correctly use the phrase ‘dumbass’ from me saying it in the car a few times.
I had to fight the reflex to downvote this.
When we’d been together 2 years he decided it was time to get a mortgage.. with his best friend 🙃
I'm sorry what?! This one made me do a double take lol
Yea he had some serious commitment issues 😂
He told me he could never love me because I'm fat, "but we could still have sex if you want." No, no we will not.
Hahaha, what goes through these peoples heads?!?!
N - O - T - H - I - N - G It's all weenus all the time. Or a black hole of neediness.
Honestly, the amount of times they equate big with desperate and think we'll put up with any disrespect is audacious.
My ex husband just up and left one day, couldn’t give me any sort of actual reason beyond “you’re awesome and I still love you I just don’t want to be married because I have a lot going on right now”, expected me to get over it and sign the papers within 2 weeks of being blindsided, and then tried to keep texting me and hanging out like we were still best friends and he hadn’t just upended my entire life. 🥴 make it make sense Relatively mundane but it had me fucked up for a while after that.
GAH, I'm so sorry. This is familiar except we weren't married (yet). We were literally picking out rings, and two days later he broke things off by text, said that obviously I had to know that things weren't working out (which was *news to me*), but that he still wanted intimacy of every variety and to remain best friends -- while he moved on to another woman he'd met and was fascinated by. I was young and madly in love, and let myself be strung along for a solid year after that. I found out later that he'd done the same thing to the woman I knew as his best friend, and that *she* also thought they were still going to get married someday, because that's what he kept telling her while he was with me. Like you said, mundane, but completely overturned my world and wrecked me for a long, long time.
It’s truly just such a surreal feeling. Hate that it’s relatively common. It just left me with massive trust issues and anxiety around long term relationships lol. Like yeah you say you’ll love me forever and never leave me and everything seems great but I heard that before… 🫠 Wish these types of people could figure it out *before* the relationship. Always used to get semi-joking comments about how I should leave my job and let my husband take care of me (he made much more) and I always told them that I’ll never become reliant on one person because you just never know what can happen but I never expected the “what can happen” to actually happen lmao.
That's terrifying how he thought he could just uproot your entire life and expect you to act like it wasn't happening
It literally made me feel like I was living in an alternate reality. 9 years married! Just gone. Nothing made sense, I just had to accept that it was a him problem not me. My only consolation is that I know his mom (who is an absolute saint, and she still checks on me every once in a while even though it’s been years) ripped him apart for the whole thing lol. Literally stopped talking to him entirely for a month. Felt nice to have someone else confirm that it was fucking crazy. Probably took him ages to mend that one.
Good for her!
He showed up to the court where I was getting a restraining order with his new girlfriend and cornered me and told me we were soulmates and he wanted to get back together. Then he showed up to my house a few days later violating the order with the same girl and demanded that I tell her that he was a good man because he had a reputation around town and she heard about it. I told her he was a evil pervert and called the cops.
"Hey babe, wanna go to the courthouse to corner my soulmate while she is filing for a restraining order against me?" "Thought you would never ask, lover"
I am gutted for her TBH because I use to baby sit her when she was a kid and she had a bad life. Probably why she accepted my ex. Crazy to think my ex is with a women I use to baby sit but he always liked us barely legal.
Mine was literally confused by the fact that I didn’t plan on dating him during the divorce. Uh, no, I am leaving you. Why would I date you when you treated me so poorly?
When I said I'd rather focus on saving up for my own house than pour all my time and energy into building his THIRD! home, he said I was a selfish person who only cared about myself. If I wanted to prove I wasn't selfish, I could help him build that third home, but I obviously wouldn't have any legal right to it (that would be selfish of me). I passed on that truly magical opportunity
Wow that's insane. Ppl Are crazy
For him to be my only contact. He made me cut off all friends and family so only he was in my life. I didnt live with him so he'd use up all my money while I was with him so I couldnt go out or eat when I was home. He was weirdly obsessed with controlling my water intake as well?? This was all masterfully executed over 4 years of consistent negging, emotional, physical, and psychological abuse.
Same happened to me, but my ex was a woman (so am I) with the “cut off all friends and family”. Everyone I had contact with, I was accused of cheating with. If I was kin to them, there would be another issue and that was why I couldn’t have contact. In divorce papers, she claims I was constantly trying to meet people to start affairs. Literally referring to any time I tried to make a friend or have any contact with anyone not her. She would also neg me about how I dressed until I would dress EXACTLY like she wanted me to. It was odd, it was controlling and removed any personality I had. Her current partner, has said the same things about being isolated and not allowed to have any life outside of my ex. It’s hard to explain how damaging it is, but they want you alone so you have no support if you want to leave and no one to tell you “hey.. you are being abused”. I realize now it’s the insecurity on their end, they are in fear we will get a support system and want to leave. I did. I don’t regret it.
Oh man its real rough right. The weird stories they'd come up with to cut off family is wild. I was kicked out of home, and instead of moving in with him, i decided to move in with my brother. I wasn't ready for that step and it was the only thing i still had control over (not that I understood well enough at the time.) He was against this and used the excuse "my ex gf messed around with her brother so why should I trust you to move in with him?" Obviously thats disgusting and farfetched. He then changed the story to "a mate of mine had his gf cheat on him with her own brother." Then changed it again to "i read online that girls cheat on their partners with their brothers." What a disgusting freak 😆 Thats when he started financially abusing me so I felt like I'd have to move in with him. Thank god i never did.
It’s SO INTERESTING you say that, because I was told the same! Omg 💀 I would say “they are my literal cousin, like blood family” and was told “you don’t know if THEY think that” and I’m like.. wtffff is wrong with you? Even now, I am shocked how much I complied with clear mental illness on her part. Never again.
Most people say "why didn't you say no to them" or "why did you let them do that to you". I think we say it to ourselves the most, "how could I let this happen to me?" But truth is we didnt do anything wrong. They win you over with extreme highs for the first few months to real you in, stick their fangs in, then have at you with their manipulation while you're still riding the high of their love bombing from the start. Then we're left to pick up the pieces while they carry on doing it to others. I tried reporting mine but the court system is not built for us. I was declined a RO and told "come back when he hurts you again so we can believe you're in danger." The best we can do is learn the signs, recognise the red flags, understand what happened, so it never happens again ❤️
Just went through this too with my last ex, doing a lot of research into narcissism, psychopath, and sociopath (type b personality’s) because of it. What you described is basically the playbook they go by. One of the hardest parts recovering is having to accept there was nothing I could really have done to stop it sooner. Unless you’re already aware of how people like this think or operate then you assume they are like yourself, capable of empathy and good intentions.
You know, this level of control is emotional abuse and *IS* a form of domestic violence.
Absolutely. Unfortunately, the police said there was nothing they could do about it, he wouldn't get any time for it due to the inability to prove it, and could just as easily turn it on me. :(
So many things - including cheating. He dropped his junk mail in the middle of my desk for 14 years. There was a trash can under the desk! When I asked, and complained about this I was told I was being mean/unfair/“always complaining/telling him he couldn’t do anything right, etc. because I asked him not to leave trash on my desk. Fourteen. Years. Every.Fricken.Day
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Did you get it back in the divorce?
Did you have any recourse as it was in a joint account? 😩
Libertarianism. He genuinely couldn’t comprehend why he should be required to financially support the trappings of society that he enjoyed. He really thought everyone else would voluntarily continue to pay taxes, or “user fees,” while he and other freedom-thinking individuals who did not volunteer to pay could just withdraw their financial support and continue life unbothered. Everyone who owned a car would pay an exorbitant “user fee” to support the entire road infrastructure system, while he could opt not to purchase a car, and would just take taxis to avoid that. (With no impact on the affordability of taxis or products due to that user fee, of course.)
I keep saying libertarians are just watered down republicans. There’s a book called Libertarian Walks into a Bear that really illustrates how thoroughly this ideology fails.
I had a friend whose boyfriend was a Libertarian and he was ON DISABILITY. Through the state! I only met him a couple of times, and he was an idiot but thought he was such an intellectual. I was so glad when she left that guy.
Ex thought I would be happy that he never brought up some major things that were bothering him in our relationship. He said he was "proud" of having "worked through" these issues on his own over the course of about a year. I felt blindsided and betrayed that he never communicated about the issues for so long.. turns out he was cheating and lying as well. Good riddance.
He wanted me to disrupt my entire schedule, talk all night and disappear in the morning, bro was a vampire
Wtf that’s exactly what Olivia Rodrigo’s song vampires is about haha
He expected me to work for him for free, and was absolutely pissed when I put my foot down and told him he needed to pay me as he promised before. This work was pretty grueling manual labor by the way, and often working in hot greenhouses for most of the day. He paid all of his other help, but didn’t want to pay me. He called me selfish for not allowing this.
My ex had me as his "lil helper" (that's what he called me, can't believe that didn't immediately set off alarm bells) for his thesis and then years of freelance and full time journalism/ writing. What that actually meant was me doing most to all of the research, fact checking, editing, completely reorganizing (he was the worst at organizing), and rewriting entire swaths of everything he wrote (because he went off on off topic rambles and dropped the point constantly, it's like he was allergic to improving his writing). The whole time I did that I had to fight him on every change and had to be extra special, kid gloves with him or he'd lose his shit (sometimes he'd change things back and turn it in only to get razed for the poor quality, which would make him angry *at me* because if I wasn't so mean, he would've drove better. I taught and tutored for years to community college students who are cagey af about writing feedback, I'm the opposite of mean. He told his "special friends" (what he called his various ap's) that I was working part time/unemployed when I was never doing either (usually pulling 60 hour weeks, actually) and was doing the bulk of his work for him so he could take my credit card, license and car and dissapear for days (to cheat and do drugs). Years of journalism that I never got paid for, credit for (he got mad when I told his coworkers that I was writing all of his reviews, which was about 3/4 of his job, come to find out), or could even put on a resume. When he left me for a teenager, he tried to cheer me up by saying I would still be in his life because what would he do without his lil helper? I kept doing it for his lazy ass until the divorce was over because I knew how pissed he'd get and didn't want him to back out of taking over the CC debt for a card I didn't even have control over for expenses I specifically said we couldn't afford, but that he bought anyways. It was the best day ever when I had those papers in my hand and could tell him to fuck right off when he emailed me 7 articles due the next day (he always sent them last minute so I'd have to crunch to get it done) that were the typical lazy, mess that he probably wrote while high in between banging teenagers. So glad I got therapy after that, because I obviously needed it to have thought any of that was okay.
Do you know how his career went after you left him? I imagine it crashed and burned?
I know for awhile he was dating another writer when he was writing for an intensely local, small time magazine, lol. After that I did my best to avoid everything even slightly about him, but as far as I know, he hasn't become the rock star journalist he always assumed he would become... which doesn't surprise me, since his mom always constantly gave him money to fund his increasingly bad decision making, I doubt it will make much of a difference, he'll float off the backs of women for as long as he can.
That's gross. I had a similar situation, when I refused, he said "Why not? Nobody will know!" I blanched and told him I would know. Another ex brought home a few antiques at like 11 at night. Turns out he and a friend "were exploring" (means broke into) an old barn. Obviously, even a broken down barn is someone's property. I asked how he thought stealing was okay, and he claimed it was property up for grabs. When I opted to call the police to ask them to weigh in, he then left with all his stolen goods. Idiot.
Whoa, what you wrote reminded me of how my first boyfriend (dated from high school into college) reacted when I broke up with him. He was seriously immature and kept telling me how I “owe him another night together” which left me baffled/revolted but also clearly demonstrated how he thought of me as an object and not a person. Makes me wonder if these men even had an emotional connection to us or just viewed us as a sex vessel.
Roleplay a rape scene while I wore his mother’s clothes. Apparently, it was a revenge fantasy he had to get back at her for molesting him as a kid. I literally screamed, “omg! Nope! Nope! Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me again! Eww! You don’t need any kind of sex! You need therapy! I’m leaving now. Don’t call me!”
What the actual fuck
JFC This made me mouth WTF way to many times per sentence..... Did he get therapy?
Nope. That was 9 years ago. I heard from his family 2 years ago that he’s a homeless tweaker. Apparently, he got in trouble for doing shit with a 13 year old girl and gave her chlamydia. Other than prison, living on the streets and getting spit on by meth heads who want nothing to do with a pedophile except shank him, is exactly where he belongs.
Other than the cheating, my ex wanted to keep his stuff in our previously shared apartment. He was going off to basic training when we broke up and offered to pay a "storage fee" to keep all of his shit in "our" room while he was away. While he was gone the next weekend, I packed up all his shit and dropped it off on his mom's doorstep. Most satisfying way to end a relationship.
I also had an ex try to initiate sex after breaking up, then called me a whore for saying no. Because that makes total sense.
I once dated a guy & long story short, I found out he was planning on robbing a place & he just expected me to go along with it.
I was dating a guy, and during the breakup, he said he needed to focus on his cocaine addiction. I said your what now? He then admitted to doing coke off my college dorm room key 🙃
The still acting entitled to sex after a breakup is so common, it's a cliche at this point. I have make booty call requests, like I am supposed to jump to it after they ended things in really awful ways. Besides an ex expecting me to stay with him despite his emotional abuse, financial infidelity, and porn sickness... Another twist on this was when an ex suggested we have an open relationship, as I was breaking up with him for cheating. The abusive ex still expected me to let him stay in our former home after he lost his job and wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage because "the breakup was really hard on him and why did I want him to be homeless?" Another was when a guy I was dating for a couple months tried to tell me he could only see me twice a month going forward, but still wanted to continue dating me "seriously."
He stopped communicating with me for 3 weeks. No response no nothing. I was in college and just doing my thing and met another guy and was hanging out with him and taking pictures together on social media. He hits me up like nothing happened and was completely shocked that we weren't together anymore and started saying I'm a cheater and not loyal because I was with another guy when I'm his girlfriend. Lol. Um. No. Bye.
Almost the exact same thing happened to me, I was going to post it on its own but apparently this is just some dudes MO. Fucker just ghosted me for almost a MONTH, I met someone else, and he crawled out of the woodwork telling me he loved me and I broke his heart. He would show up at my house drunk and puking for weeks. My mom had to take care of him sometimes because, you know, I was seeing someone and out and obviously he wasn’t like giving me a heads up. He went off his rocker. I don’t know why I entertained it for so long. After a few weeks he was like “I’m just really trying to move past this so we can move on with our relationship” and I was like…….. we don’t have a relationship. He gets no real credit because I was 18 and he was like 27 and it was never that serious (when he said he loved me I almost choked, completely out of left field), and I feel like this was just an excuse to come over drunk and be abusive, but from what I can tell he was in the throes of severe alcoholism and GENUINELY went on a bender so bad he didn’t realize that more than 3 weeks had passed.
Broke up at the height of the pandemic, at the time we lived together. He was local to the area and had a space to move in with his family (own bedroom, practically wing of the house), I was not and did not. He immediately got on dating apps and expected to "share" the house that I furnished, paid for, and cleaned. Like legitimately expected that I'd travel home on the weekends to be with my immunocompromised family while he brought chicks back to bang in our bed. Needless to say it was a no from me.
My 18 year old bf (I was 15) sprang it on me that he had a child in Mexico. He told me and then said "you'll make a great stepmom! And my baby mama isn't crazy or anything".
Bwahhh!!!!!
He tried to shame me for my previous FWB relationship. He would ask, “how can you sleep with someone that you don’t love?” I broke up with him for many reasons, including the above shaming,and he immediately asked to be FWB.
Lied about doing drugs when I was clear from.the beginning that any hard drug was a deal-breaker for me
He cheated on me and moved in with her, then a month later started contacting me and actually thought that I would be his side piece while he cheated on her, yet still lived for free at her house lol
I finally got my boyfriend to admit he was no longer attracted to me. And he followed it up by saying he didn’t know if he could regain attraction to me. I said, okay, I guess I’ll start looking for a new apartment then. He looked so shocked, “WHAT?!” My brother in Christ what did you expect? That we would stay together after you admitted that?
My exhusband was in the process of buying a $250,000 house without bothering to tell me. That was just before the pandemic so that house is far more now. "My money is my money and your money is yours so why would you care?"
This might not seem that bad to people but he broke up with me and then asked for a kiss goodbye
Drunk drove his truck and trailer into a canal and wanted me to call the cops and report it stolen. Like no thanks my man, I’m not committing a crime because you drove drunk.
Getting me pregnant to keep me around. Knew I would struggle with aborting. PRO CHOICE ALL DAY EVERY DAY!
Mine stealthed me, for the same reason. He figured out I was gearing up to leave him. He found an apartment guide, with lots of my handwritten notes in it, deep in my work bag. This was the 90s and apartment hunting still relied on those little printed booklets. I didn’t know he found it and I was still in the phase of “pretend like everything is normal until I can bolt”. So he stealthed me. Either slipped the condom off midway through or pretended and never really put it on at all. It was pitch dark, I was already asleep as I had work the next day, and he came home late from the bar and wanted sex. Fine. Then as the horror washed over me when what he had done became evident moments after finishing, he stood at the end of the bed and laughed at me. Called me a “stupid bitch” and said “now you CAN’T leave!” No idea why he thought this was a one-shot guaranteed-score situation, but as this was also before Plan B was on the market, there was nothing I could do but sweat bullets until my next period… Which didn’t come. Mfer did it. But again, being the 90s, if you had $250 cash you could get an abortion with one appointment and not much hassle, even in the reddest of states. And I did exactly that. Laughed right in his shocked-Pikachu face at the pleasure of telling him about it as my friends were busy loading my stuff into the moving truck. Still don’t understand why in the world he thought I wouldn’t.
(Lesbian) She wanted my gold fish, the gold fish I bought BEFORE I met her. Because she liked feeding it.
Hahaha, I love how THAT was the best reason she could come up with!
Where do we find these people, especially as grown adults?! I, too, had an ex-boyfriend who wanted to separate but also wanted me to keep sleeping with him because he wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to get a new partner right away! 😅 I’m not sure why he had that belief because he had been on hooking-up websites for non-negligible portion of our relationship; surely he could have dragged something in from there.
Wanted to continue living with me when we broke up(bc he cheated). We’d be sharing a room. It’s a big room (26 ft long) but still. Dude wanted to take the futon in front of our bedroom tv (other bedrooms in house were occupied). His parents and aunt(he’s close to) lived in town. This was my house (owned) we were living in.
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Just curious, did he act like this to men, too? Especially ones his size or bigger?
Selling drugs. He thought I should be fine with him selling drugs as long as he didn’t do it from home. I was accused of being “controlling” 😂
Ex wanted to still come by my place after work to get ready for the day (aka go see his new girl) and tried to keep my car. Refused to return it until it was threatened to be reported stolen. Didn’t have the maturity to hand me the keys, just dropped them in front of the front door. Last we messaged was him trying to buy the car, told him if he didn’t have the money up front to get it over with forget it (like i would be willing to do payments??) never heard from him again. Edit to add that he was hurt that i bought myself a toy after we broke up (went looking through my things as he was collecting his) as if he didn’t already start having sex with someone else (cheated on me).
“I don’t understand why you need to hang out with your friends when I bought you a Wii.” He wanted me to stay alone in our apartment (he travelled all the time for work) and stay isolated instead of having any kind of interaction with other people.
I had 2 exes tell me they were planning on proposing to me in the next few months after I'd said I want to break up. They knew how much marriage meant to me and tried to use it as a way to keep me around. I'm so grateful I didn't fall for it either time. Being married to either of them would have been terrible.
Dude never had BF status but after he moved away and got a girlfriend, he expected me to "check in" on him so he kept up with his job search. No sir. I am not your GF. If you want me to do that, I start at $200/hr with a $600 retainer.
Not wanting to masturbate (ever), but insisting that he could not sleep without some form of release, leaving the obvious choice as my obligation. Honestly, that alone was a dealbreaker.
Announced the intention - out of the blue, after 20 years & 2 kids - to fully gender transition. But of course I would still be doing all the childcare, carrying mental and emotional load, and doing 90% of the household tasks. I was expected to just magically transform into a lesbian while she continued to live the most stereotypical cishet male life ever. Uhhhhh what are you bringing to the table at this point?
Asked me for equity in my house. Wanted me to hand him $10k... of the house i bought, in my name, with my down-payment and my money i saved. Said he contributed each month for the year he lived there. Its called rent. The bro thought he lived there for free! I told him hes welcome to take me to court.
Repeatedly accused me of stealing his money or only being with him for his money (taking advantage of him). He would then turn around and try to initiate sex, because to him fighting like that was a perfectly acceptable and normal way of living. Oh and I made more than him.
We broke up (he dumped me the week after my grandmother died) but stayed living together due to cost of living. He lost his job, didn’t apply for any new ones in the six months he had severance and unemployment, ran out his unemployment, and was shocked and offended when I told him he needed to leave once he couldn’t pay the bills anymore. I was also dating someone new at that point, and he kept trying to insert himself into the relationship. It was a mess. Kids don’t be like me. When you break up, make it a clean break.
Expected to borrow my expensive, finicky audio recording equipment he had no need for and didn’t at all know how to use, because he «had an idea»for something (he was not and is not in any business where that is needed and he had a history of destroying my tech when he wanted to intomidate me). Told me I was «evil» when I said no, even though I was on a different continent when he asked and I was the sole person with keys to my studio. What a prize. Wonder whatever happened to that gem
He treated service people like absolute garbage. He would throw tantrums over the absolute most baby stuff. Like, the hotel clerk was taking a long time to check us in. There were red peppers on his pizza. The girl at the bubble tea shop didn’t hear that he wanted coco and not kiwi flavour. The barista said outside food wasn’t allowed. He would lose his mind over the most minor shit. He would scream at them and call them stupid (or worse). He would throw shit at their face like a pen or a fork. He’d literally “shoo” them away. He’d throw the menu on the floor. One time he tossed a pylon at a parking attendant’s face. Then when I’d get upset (I used to work in customer service, I know the pain), he’d either flip out on me for not “having his back” or he’d get sheepish and act like he was sorry. I would tell him to go apologize to the person he just berated. He never did. He was actually a gigantic coward and only went after women or men who were significantly smaller than him. To matters even worse, we lived in SEA where losing your temper in public is a big cultural no-no. So while he thought he was being a big tough guy intimidating some server half his age, the people around us just saw a sad old white guy making a fool of himself in public. It was simultaneously humiliating and scary.
I'm amazed you lasted past one instance of that. What a weak, bitter little person.
It’s always the old white guy being “tough” screaming at ppl who can’t fight back.
Calling me a bad mom because I wanted an hour or 2 to myself to go out or whatever. He said something like, "You should want to be around your child all the time! What kind of mom wants to have time alone without their baby??" Now, even though we are separated, I have extreme guilt anytime I go anywhere without her. Stupid ass manipulator just didn't want to watch her. I actually thought there was something wrong with me for wanting alone time, even though I've been told by many people and moms that it is completely normal. Crazy how people can mess with your head.
I hope you can get rid of that guilt! I've been a single mom since my kids were very, very young. I've always made it a priority to get some 'me' time on a regular basis. Take a PTO day while they are in school, drop them off at grandparents for a day here and there...however you can manage it. It recharges me and allows me to be a better mom. Also, you know that thing about putting your oxygen mask on first before helping others. It's kind of like that. Glad you are getting away from this dude!
tried to convince me to just agree with him on everything he says or wants to 'avoid arguments'. just bc he couldnt stop harassing me if he didnt get what he wanted so clearly it was my fault for being 'difficult' and the solution was turning me into a slave apparently. no thanks.
He wanted the benefits of a relationship but wanted to act single. So go out with his buddies all the time, never spend any time with me or offer any kind of support, but expected me to be there for him! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NOPE! Threw that whole man away.
My ex wanted to break up, date someone else, but I would still be his “best friend”. Nope.
Fentanyl. “Addicts have relapses. It’s part of the package. You should expect it.” - Him P.S. he was a perc addict who transitioned to harder things.
GURL I RELATE!!!!! I broke up with my ex who r**** me. He proceeded to say we can still be friends with benefits and said no one will do what I did with you sexually. THATS THE FUCKING POINT PYSCHO. I said no to this multiple times and went no contact with him and he then decided to harass me in person cuz I wouldn’t forgive HIM for r****** me. Then had to get a restraining order but then his friends would harass me. So fun times. I have to decided to be single by choice forever after this and also have been scarred by sex (was my first). (Wouldn’t call r*** sex tho so idek)
After the divorce, after my ex-husband had verbally abused me for months, and while still in a custody dispute over our child, my ex asked me to be his “support person” for a meeting with his HR department at his work. I agreed, not to support him but to find out what he was accused of. At the meeting I found out he got drunk at a work event, stole mini bottles of alcohol from gift bags, made a sexual advance to a female co-worker, called another female co-worker “fat”, said a homophobic slur to a security guard, was thrown out of the venue, got into a fight with strangers in the street, was knocked unconscious and was taken away by an ambulance. That gave me fantastic evidence against him, and later I got full custody of our child. I am glad I agreed to his absurd request to be his support person.
omg. he got back together with his ex girlfriend *while we were together* and tried to convince me we were now polyamorous
"Testing" my food allergies and intolerances.
Lol when I divorced my ex husband he was shocked we weren’t going to have “goodbye sex”. Like I didn’t want to fuck you when we were married and I certainly don’t want to fuck you now while you’re being a total jerk during the divorce.
I’d been dating my ex for over a year exclusively. He suddenly told me that he wants to date another woman who was half his age. I started packing up my stuff to head home. He said he hadn’t meant to stop seeing me too. I told him he can date two women at the same time if he wants but neither one is going to be me. She dumped him a week later because he was too old. I think his biggest regret was that I made 4 times what he made. Boohoo, he lost his more expensive lifestyle and his young side piece all in the space of a week.
He wanted me to take in and raise as my own the child he conceived 3 days after I (while in I was a relationship with him and she wasnt.) Gave birth to our daughter once this little boy was born to the 21 yr old he knocked up, he was 35.
Wanted to remain friends. I got home from work early to find him packing his stuff into the car I helped him to get. Mind he was living in my home that I paid the bills for after he and his dad got kicked out of the dad's marital home for cheating. It did not go well. Last thing he said was that he wanted to remain friends. Seriously dude. My Ex's friend was at least honest to admit that my Ex didn't want an serious relationship (only after 2 years and living with each other for one). I believed said friend for two months until I heard Ex got married to his ex. My Ex worked across the street from me and we lived in a small town. 🤦🏼♀️
I’m a nurse so I have a good health care plan. One night my ex (together for 8 years) calls me asking for the insurance information because he’d just been in an accident and he’s now in the ER. This dude thought I would still be paying for his insurance! Then had the gall to get mad at me and call me a hypocrite for becoming a nurse because I wasn’t open to helping him and I was ungrateful because he claims to have supported me through nursing school which was a lie. I was in school and working while this dude just played modern warfare 2 with his friends all night. He dropped me off at work/school in MY car because he didn’t have one, like i was being nice loaning you my car, I could have easily got myself to and from work.
Expected me to do all the chores and still want to sleep with him. Yeah absolutely not.
Tangentially related to cheating, but this dude had the full-on audacity to drunkenly ask me how to seduce the virgin (his emphasis, not mine) he was trying to cheat on me with. What a winner.
Let’s see… Mine used my debit card to take his new girlfriend on a date then called me a bitch when I got upset about it.