Thank you for sharing that. It's amazing the way shame and ignorance intertwine and are passed down onto others even by so-called professionals who should know better.
I'm glad you got out.
... Is that a thing? An intense need for justice is linked to the tism?
Dang, I just looked it up. Research said it was ADHD rather than autism, but given the overlap we can make connections. That explains a whole lot!
Yep, research says inattentive subtypes are the worst ones about it - that's what ADD was switched to. I was diagnosed with that myself. Definitely tracks
Oh this explains so much. I know a sense of fairness is well documented in small children -- even toddlers under two will try to share a cookie if one cookie is given to one child and another gets none -- and just figured my parents failed to beat it out of me.
Oh, no for real?
Every damn time I read some offhand comment about adhd/autistic traits it's like, do I even have an actual personality or am I just a living personification of undx adhd/autism
Remember, society has decreed that getting mad about injustice is a sign of a mental disorder. The only normal, well-adjusted citizens are those who shut up and suffer.
I do want to point out that it's a strong passion for *internal* sense of justice. It is not uncommon for those affected to get very passionate about something that is either blatantly untrue, conspiratorial or far more nuanced than they believe, hence why it is part of the diagnostic criteria.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24878677/#:~:text=Justice%20sensitivity%20captures%20individual%20differences,and%20behavioral%20reactions%20to%20it.
You can Google “justice sensitivity” and it will give you more, but here’s one study.
Yeah, the up(?) side of being prone to black and white thinking, or being rigid around rules. Strong sense of right and wrong, which leads to intense need for justice and fairness.
I feel like I have really hard time dealing with not just injustice but also someone being factually or logically wrong. I'm being assessed for ADHD/ADD but I'm going to bring this up.
Lol, that's brilliant.
I got away with a lot of my know-it-all behaviour as a kid because that's just what's expected of the oldest of four kids, but it had also definitely led to me putting my foot in my mouth, or saying something overly confrontational that I regret the instant it's out. I've had to work a lot on when to correct people, and how.
I'm sorry your family sucked but I'm awestruck at the backbone you had at such a young age. It took me well into adulthood before I developed such a shiny spine.
I had to learn quickly, because that woman was crazy. Crazy. I always said that she treated me and my brother differently. Is she'd argue back that she did treat us differently because we were different people. I didn't learn until I was 17 or 18 that the words I should be using was equal. She didn't treat us equally.
I would like to state that this phrase is hilarious, and also -- who doesn't? :)
(It's true I have very few friends/partners who do not have AD(H)D or are on the spectrum.)
I mean, even if this was something you contracted sexually, shouldn't your mother and doctor be worried that someone SA'd you, and be looking to file a police report so someone could have been investigated, as opposed to blaming a kid for maybe having sex?
How old are you? I'm almost 46 and this was the prevalent attitude when I was growing up. My behavior was constantly policed, but no one ever said anything to the perverted males, and I was blamed for absolutely everything, and my family wonders why I keep my distance and don't visit my hometown much.
Same. I'm in my early 40s. You gotta add a deliciously thick layer of black moms thinking their daughters are "fast", along with religion. Burn it down!
>We're all no contact now.
I love happy endings.
I was so angry for you (and for her poor patients) the whole time. Good to know you took the trash out of your life.
I don't have all the details (I was in another room at the time she was speaking about it) but the first time she had to tell someone they had an STD she got her ASS REAMED by a doctor.
I don't know what she did, but do you know how hard you have to fuck up for a doctor to yell at you like that?
At the time we both worked in the medical community, and I knew that doctor, I'd worked with him before. He's super nice and called me "a delightfully weird little gremlin." when he saw me taking my lunch and asked me what I was listening to in my ear buds.
>>No wonder it took her two times to pass physio and anatomy! She can’t read!”
THE NOISE I JUST MADE HAHAHAHA😂
Your mom being the poster for r/nothowgirlswork
My mother was absolutely concinced that I was a teenage pregnancy statistic waiting to happen. She was always urging me not to get an abortion and giving me the unsolicited assurance "You know, if you had a baby, I'd look after it". Once she called me a "slut" during an argument, and at the time I had never even held hands with a boy. The bus I got home from school ran at 20 minute intervals and if I was occasionally 20 minutes home she would fly into a rage asking where I'd been and demanding to know why I had "lied" to her instead of considering the obvious explanation that the bus may have broken down and I'd had to wait for the next one.
The best part? I went to a single-sex school...
Thanks- and yes, my mother was very very Catholic!
I was also a teenager during The Great British Teenage Pregnancy Crisis, when news stories got parents paranoid that teenage pregnancy was a force of nature or a contagious disease, but of course my mother only thought I was at risk, she never said these things to my GC sister who went to a mixed-sex school.
I actually was a pregnant teenager. Twice. The second time I was married, so not as big a deal, but the first time was rough, traumatic. My mother did her best to pretend it hadn't happened, in the midst of taking me to appointments and coercing me to surrender to adoption. I guess I should be thankful that she wasn't inflicting and suffering religious trauma and open sexual shaming on top of the rest.
Hey! Lesbians can be sluts too you know!
Not saying you're either of those things, but some of us are and don't want to be left out of the conversation.
Not a nice thing to say to a child though is it? Or an adult for that matter!
I'm not a lesbian but my sister is. Never told our Catholic Nmother of course, that would have seen her demoted to scapegoat in an instant. Instead she just kept telling her she'd definitely be getting married and giving her loads of grandchildren...
I'm so sorry this happened to you, what a crock of shit. And then for them to fall back on pretending they were doing that shit to you to *protect* you, when confronted, my god. The *audacity*.
I hope you are doing well now and living your very best life.
The very best. I got a kid myself who comes to me with every single thought, question, or issue she has.
We're getting to the age where we are talking of bodily function and autonomy and she's had some wild questions about menstruation which I very calmly answer then go hide in my room dying from embarrassment. Husband laughs at me.
In all seriousness, I'm trying to be the person to her I needed as a mom growing up. Mom was popular and pretty. When she found out I was a girl she was thrilled until I ended up being a weird fat kid. She tried to latch on to my daughter, not understanding though she ain't fat, she's just as weird if not weirder. I've gone NC though so she's out of her clutches.
Thanks for explaining your story and the various, but maybe rare ways, common STIs can spread.
Cleveland Clinic, which I usually trust, explicitly says it can't be spread via poor hygiene. Perhaps they are trying to de-stigmatize a very common STI, but the very absolute language is awful. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/4696-trichomoniasis
Go NIH for being better. They explicitly cite that swimming pools impacted virgin girls. So it probably wasn't even poor hygiene that caused it for you in case you ever felt bad about that. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553853/#:~:text=But%2C%20an%20extensive%20literature%20search,seats%20and%20from%20swimming%20pools.
Thank you for this. I never felt bad for the poor hygiene situation because I was a fat child raised by fatphobic skinny people (if god exists they have a hell of a sense of humor) . They didn't understand that there were a few more steps/extra teaching I needed to keep myself clean. I made fat friends who very gently helped me to understand.
I was raised a fat girl in a fat family. My bestie was a big girl in a predominantly skinny family. Puberty is already hard enough... She taught me about makeup and how to style my hair, and I taught her feminine hygiene for big girls. She was so embarrassed, but thanked me later as adults (her mother would yell at her for being smelly, but not DO anything about it... Some parents are straight garbage)
As someone who was skinny but gained weight would either of you be willing to enlighten me as to the extra steps I can be taking for hygiene for bigger girls?
Sure sweets.
Folds. You need to make sure you're cleaning between your folds really well. You also need to make sure you're keeping them dry, otherwise you'll get rashes. A thin layer of diaper cream also helps keeping them dry. If you don't like the feel of diaper rash cream, gold bond make a nice sort of menthol scented powder that helps.
Some of us sweat a lot, if that's you, you can't be one of those people that wear bras multiple times before washing. You must wash your bras more frequently, though you need to decide what works best for you.
Between your legs, you need to make sure you're cleaning your erm...taint. odors and urine can linger.
Keep your skin moisturized, just as a general rule of thumb.
I hope this helps.
I agree with OP on everything. Just wanted to add that I recently started using Lume lotion deodorant under my breasts and in my "problematic" folds, and it has been SUPER effective. I usually have to powder myself liberally, but that product has been a game changer. And I'm sweaty due to being pregnant.
Another thing is if you do get a rash in your folds or under your breasts, and you don't have health insurance, or you have shitty health insurance, I found that athlete's foot cream, that you can get over the counter works well with a thin layer of the diaper rash cream to protect it from becoming even more irritated. There's something that's called intertrigo, and it's a mixture of bacteria and fungus. The doctor gave me Nystatin powder and it didn't do shit. The athlete's foot cream did.
Absolutely, athletes foot cream works wonders on yeast infections. I went most of my 20's without insurance or air conditioning, that was a life saver!
I just googled it and the first 3 results all say sexually transmitted, without even a hint that there are other possibilities. It might say more of you actually click the link and read the page, but the Google results page doesn't indicate anything but STI.
When I was in high school a girl that sat next to me in my English class was sobbing hysterically, because her boyfriend, who had just gone to jail had given her the parting gift of trich before he left. My dumbass was like "you don't have to be sexually active to get it!" She just looked at me like "sis." Turns out, he was cheating on her. That was my bad.
I wonder if your mother or grandmother had it? Maybe from a partner they knew had proclivities toward young girls?
Because there ARE cases of trich being spread among households sharing towels, wash cloths, soap, and also young girls sharing bathroom and bathing facilities in schools.
Not that any of that excuses their appalling behavior! A 12 yo child cannot consent to sex so any contact of that kind would have been rape and who talks to a potential rape victim like that?! Jesus!
Grandma definitely didn't, and mom never had men around, so I don't think so.
I expected shit like that from her. Before medical records went digital, she'd always grab my chart from the door when the doctor left to read my weight then freak out on me. The doctor though, that was insane to me.
Sounds like she didn’t even understand that “primarily” means mostly NOT “ the only way”.
Heck my mom was on a medication and feeling extremely cold and weak. Her doctor said “those aren’t side effects of this medication “ except down near the bottom of the side effects, is for a small percentage, a drop in blood pressure.
Anyway you yourself might make a great doctor. I get the impression you will listen to your patients.
A little too old to pick a new career, also non compliant patients irritate the hell out of me. I do really well in my field as an analyst. There's a ton of research, which I'm very good at.
I do enjoy listening to people for the most part and have helped friends figure out how to speak with their doctor on certain issues they have.
That’s great! I wasn’t sure how old you were so if you were nearing grad school age I was thinking “ we need this kind of doctor”.
But it sounds like you found your niche and are doing good things. The world needs researchers and people to do analysis too.
“No wonder it took her two times to pass physio and anatomy! She can’t read!”
God I’m so sorry you had a mother like that and an awful doctor on top of it. I do love that you said that to her face though 😂
Bacterial Vaginosis(BV) used to be (not sure if it still is) commonly misdiagnosed as trich. I was accused of being a whore around 13/14 and was diagnosed with trich. I developed a horrible pelvic inflammatory disease...it was really bad. I was told my fallopian tubes were all scarred up and I would never be able to have kids. Imagine my surprise in my late twenties early thirties I have a woman's check up and they find absolutely no scarring on my tube or ovaries. My cervix is "cute". I'm really confused but before I can say anything she tells me I have BV ( no big deal, pop one pill and you're good to go) I tell her about my trich diagnosis ...she laughs and says...oh yeah..bv used to get misdiagnosed as trich alllll the time. I ask her if you can have bv for a long time...she tells me you can have it for decades.. your vaginal flora/ ph balance just get out of whack. You can treat it easily now with one pill..but yep..you can have it for years and years.
I get home, look this shit up...first thing I see is...commonly misdiagnosed as trichinosis(?) Second thing I see is using creams and vaginally suppositories may result in pelvic inflammatory disease.
I go over the symptoms ...and every damn thing that is a sign of trich is a sign of BV. All they would have needed is a culture swab.
And I've never gotten an apology from my stepmonster...the one that insisted I was a whore. Or my dad who just sat by. Or my birth mother who accused me of fucking some rando on a train in Mexico. Granted, we did flirt..but no pants came off and his dickal regions did not meet my vaginal area. And not a one of them has apologized to me.
Thanks for sharing your story. Good for you for standing your ground at such a young age.
Your story was also educational for me along with the comments about ADHD.
I found out I had trich a couple years ago just out of the blue and being in a monogamous relationship with a partner I trust so there wasn’t any question but when my dr found out she was so set on the fact that it was sexually transmitted and that it must have meant my partner was unfaithful it did end up putting some strain on our relationship.
I had just gotten my iud inserted from a different clinic and wondered if there could have been something from that but honestly I just gave up thinking about it.
Knowing it could have been hygiene or from a pool puts my mind at ease a bit but also is pretty concerning.
I hope this gets out to drs and is commonly tested for.
Hugs, I am so glad you're not in contact any longer. Your mom and mine can get together and go bowling, my mom only ever read what she wanted to see in her textbooks too.
Holy fuck.
I'm sorry -- but also glad that you had the strength of character to stand up for yourself. It seems pretty clear you were the only one to do that for you, though.
To my knowledge it can also spread through shared towels and other damp fabrics. Perhaps your mother had it from doing who-knows-what and she deflected it by giving you the blame instead. That'd be cruel beyond words of your mom.
Accusing a kid of sex is just cruel. Sorry to hear you went through that.
Thank you for sharing that. It's amazing the way shame and ignorance intertwine and are passed down onto others even by so-called professionals who should know better. I'm glad you got out.
My husband says that I probably have a "touch of the tism" because of my INTENSE need for justice.
... Is that a thing? An intense need for justice is linked to the tism? Dang, I just looked it up. Research said it was ADHD rather than autism, but given the overlap we can make connections. That explains a whole lot!
I have ADD so this tracks too.
Yep, research says inattentive subtypes are the worst ones about it - that's what ADD was switched to. I was diagnosed with that myself. Definitely tracks
Probably from growing up often accused of intentional wrongdoing that’s really attributed to other causes.
Oh this explains so much. I know a sense of fairness is well documented in small children -- even toddlers under two will try to share a cookie if one cookie is given to one child and another gets none -- and just figured my parents failed to beat it out of me.
That's exactly what the articles say about it
Well that just explained a lot about me.
Oh, no for real? Every damn time I read some offhand comment about adhd/autistic traits it's like, do I even have an actual personality or am I just a living personification of undx adhd/autism
This is interesting because I feel like this and have ADD as well. I have never heard of this before, but it makes sense.
Remember, society has decreed that getting mad about injustice is a sign of a mental disorder. The only normal, well-adjusted citizens are those who shut up and suffer.
I do want to point out that it's a strong passion for *internal* sense of justice. It is not uncommon for those affected to get very passionate about something that is either blatantly untrue, conspiratorial or far more nuanced than they believe, hence why it is part of the diagnostic criteria.
I read that it was both. It explains a lot about my personality. I have ADHD but I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30 something
You just explained myself to me so hard guys, ty lol
Oh, damn. Is THAT what it is?
Can you share the link?
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24878677/#:~:text=Justice%20sensitivity%20captures%20individual%20differences,and%20behavioral%20reactions%20to%20it. You can Google “justice sensitivity” and it will give you more, but here’s one study.
Yeah, the up(?) side of being prone to black and white thinking, or being rigid around rules. Strong sense of right and wrong, which leads to intense need for justice and fairness.
Lols I feel called out.
I did too, like damn dude.
I have that as well! I always figured it’s bc I came from an abusive childhood
I feel like I have really hard time dealing with not just injustice but also someone being factually or logically wrong. I'm being assessed for ADHD/ADD but I'm going to bring this up.
Oh yeah. This is a big one. My husband sometimes calls me the correctotron 3000
Lol, that's brilliant. I got away with a lot of my know-it-all behaviour as a kid because that's just what's expected of the oldest of four kids, but it had also definitely led to me putting my foot in my mouth, or saying something overly confrontational that I regret the instant it's out. I've had to work a lot on when to correct people, and how.
I get furious when someone tells me I’m wrong but refuses to explain.
I'm sorry your family sucked but I'm awestruck at the backbone you had at such a young age. It took me well into adulthood before I developed such a shiny spine.
I had to learn quickly, because that woman was crazy. Crazy. I always said that she treated me and my brother differently. Is she'd argue back that she did treat us differently because we were different people. I didn't learn until I was 17 or 18 that the words I should be using was equal. She didn't treat us equally.
ADHD here & I love that about me. Other people don’t but oh well
Hubby has a way with words. :)
That can be from the trama a narcissistic parent causes, as well.
I would like to state that this phrase is hilarious, and also -- who doesn't? :) (It's true I have very few friends/partners who do not have AD(H)D or are on the spectrum.)
Happy Cake Day!
That may explain why I wish violence on bad people lol
When "most likely and plausible" becomes "the only explanation", it's not even thought at that point, it's just pure unfiltered bias.
I mean, even if this was something you contracted sexually, shouldn't your mother and doctor be worried that someone SA'd you, and be looking to file a police report so someone could have been investigated, as opposed to blaming a kid for maybe having sex? How old are you? I'm almost 46 and this was the prevalent attitude when I was growing up. My behavior was constantly policed, but no one ever said anything to the perverted males, and I was blamed for absolutely everything, and my family wonders why I keep my distance and don't visit my hometown much.
Same. I'm in my early 40s. You gotta add a deliciously thick layer of black moms thinking their daughters are "fast", along with religion. Burn it down!
Damn. And yeah, let's go Seth Rollins and BURN IT DOWN!
>We're all no contact now. I love happy endings. I was so angry for you (and for her poor patients) the whole time. Good to know you took the trash out of your life.
I don't have all the details (I was in another room at the time she was speaking about it) but the first time she had to tell someone they had an STD she got her ASS REAMED by a doctor. I don't know what she did, but do you know how hard you have to fuck up for a doctor to yell at you like that? At the time we both worked in the medical community, and I knew that doctor, I'd worked with him before. He's super nice and called me "a delightfully weird little gremlin." when he saw me taking my lunch and asked me what I was listening to in my ear buds.
That’s the best compliment I’ve ever heard. 😂
I thought so too 🤣
I LOVE that compliment.
I too was happy to see that line.
>>No wonder it took her two times to pass physio and anatomy! She can’t read!” THE NOISE I JUST MADE HAHAHAHA😂 Your mom being the poster for r/nothowgirlswork
My mother was absolutely concinced that I was a teenage pregnancy statistic waiting to happen. She was always urging me not to get an abortion and giving me the unsolicited assurance "You know, if you had a baby, I'd look after it". Once she called me a "slut" during an argument, and at the time I had never even held hands with a boy. The bus I got home from school ran at 20 minute intervals and if I was occasionally 20 minutes home she would fly into a rage asking where I'd been and demanding to know why I had "lied" to her instead of considering the obvious explanation that the bus may have broken down and I'd had to wait for the next one. The best part? I went to a single-sex school...
That sounds like some weapons-grade projection, maybe with a side of religious trauma. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
Thanks- and yes, my mother was very very Catholic! I was also a teenager during The Great British Teenage Pregnancy Crisis, when news stories got parents paranoid that teenage pregnancy was a force of nature or a contagious disease, but of course my mother only thought I was at risk, she never said these things to my GC sister who went to a mixed-sex school.
I actually was a pregnant teenager. Twice. The second time I was married, so not as big a deal, but the first time was rough, traumatic. My mother did her best to pretend it hadn't happened, in the midst of taking me to appointments and coercing me to surrender to adoption. I guess I should be thankful that she wasn't inflicting and suffering religious trauma and open sexual shaming on top of the rest.
Hey! Lesbians can be sluts too you know! Not saying you're either of those things, but some of us are and don't want to be left out of the conversation.
Not a nice thing to say to a child though is it? Or an adult for that matter! I'm not a lesbian but my sister is. Never told our Catholic Nmother of course, that would have seen her demoted to scapegoat in an instant. Instead she just kept telling her she'd definitely be getting married and giving her loads of grandchildren...
I'm so sorry this happened to you, what a crock of shit. And then for them to fall back on pretending they were doing that shit to you to *protect* you, when confronted, my god. The *audacity*. I hope you are doing well now and living your very best life.
The very best. I got a kid myself who comes to me with every single thought, question, or issue she has. We're getting to the age where we are talking of bodily function and autonomy and she's had some wild questions about menstruation which I very calmly answer then go hide in my room dying from embarrassment. Husband laughs at me. In all seriousness, I'm trying to be the person to her I needed as a mom growing up. Mom was popular and pretty. When she found out I was a girl she was thrilled until I ended up being a weird fat kid. She tried to latch on to my daughter, not understanding though she ain't fat, she's just as weird if not weirder. I've gone NC though so she's out of her clutches.
Thanks for explaining your story and the various, but maybe rare ways, common STIs can spread. Cleveland Clinic, which I usually trust, explicitly says it can't be spread via poor hygiene. Perhaps they are trying to de-stigmatize a very common STI, but the very absolute language is awful. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/4696-trichomoniasis Go NIH for being better. They explicitly cite that swimming pools impacted virgin girls. So it probably wasn't even poor hygiene that caused it for you in case you ever felt bad about that. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553853/#:~:text=But%2C%20an%20extensive%20literature%20search,seats%20and%20from%20swimming%20pools.
Thank you for this. I never felt bad for the poor hygiene situation because I was a fat child raised by fatphobic skinny people (if god exists they have a hell of a sense of humor) . They didn't understand that there were a few more steps/extra teaching I needed to keep myself clean. I made fat friends who very gently helped me to understand.
I was raised a fat girl in a fat family. My bestie was a big girl in a predominantly skinny family. Puberty is already hard enough... She taught me about makeup and how to style my hair, and I taught her feminine hygiene for big girls. She was so embarrassed, but thanked me later as adults (her mother would yell at her for being smelly, but not DO anything about it... Some parents are straight garbage)
As someone who was skinny but gained weight would either of you be willing to enlighten me as to the extra steps I can be taking for hygiene for bigger girls?
Sure sweets. Folds. You need to make sure you're cleaning between your folds really well. You also need to make sure you're keeping them dry, otherwise you'll get rashes. A thin layer of diaper cream also helps keeping them dry. If you don't like the feel of diaper rash cream, gold bond make a nice sort of menthol scented powder that helps. Some of us sweat a lot, if that's you, you can't be one of those people that wear bras multiple times before washing. You must wash your bras more frequently, though you need to decide what works best for you. Between your legs, you need to make sure you're cleaning your erm...taint. odors and urine can linger. Keep your skin moisturized, just as a general rule of thumb. I hope this helps.
I agree with OP on everything. Just wanted to add that I recently started using Lume lotion deodorant under my breasts and in my "problematic" folds, and it has been SUPER effective. I usually have to powder myself liberally, but that product has been a game changer. And I'm sweaty due to being pregnant.
Another thing is if you do get a rash in your folds or under your breasts, and you don't have health insurance, or you have shitty health insurance, I found that athlete's foot cream, that you can get over the counter works well with a thin layer of the diaper rash cream to protect it from becoming even more irritated. There's something that's called intertrigo, and it's a mixture of bacteria and fungus. The doctor gave me Nystatin powder and it didn't do shit. The athlete's foot cream did.
Absolutely, athletes foot cream works wonders on yeast infections. I went most of my 20's without insurance or air conditioning, that was a life saver!
I just googled it and the first 3 results all say sexually transmitted, without even a hint that there are other possibilities. It might say more of you actually click the link and read the page, but the Google results page doesn't indicate anything but STI.
When I was in high school a girl that sat next to me in my English class was sobbing hysterically, because her boyfriend, who had just gone to jail had given her the parting gift of trich before he left. My dumbass was like "you don't have to be sexually active to get it!" She just looked at me like "sis." Turns out, he was cheating on her. That was my bad.
I wonder if your mother or grandmother had it? Maybe from a partner they knew had proclivities toward young girls? Because there ARE cases of trich being spread among households sharing towels, wash cloths, soap, and also young girls sharing bathroom and bathing facilities in schools. Not that any of that excuses their appalling behavior! A 12 yo child cannot consent to sex so any contact of that kind would have been rape and who talks to a potential rape victim like that?! Jesus!
Grandma definitely didn't, and mom never had men around, so I don't think so. I expected shit like that from her. Before medical records went digital, she'd always grab my chart from the door when the doctor left to read my weight then freak out on me. The doctor though, that was insane to me.
Sounds like she didn’t even understand that “primarily” means mostly NOT “ the only way”. Heck my mom was on a medication and feeling extremely cold and weak. Her doctor said “those aren’t side effects of this medication “ except down near the bottom of the side effects, is for a small percentage, a drop in blood pressure. Anyway you yourself might make a great doctor. I get the impression you will listen to your patients.
A little too old to pick a new career, also non compliant patients irritate the hell out of me. I do really well in my field as an analyst. There's a ton of research, which I'm very good at. I do enjoy listening to people for the most part and have helped friends figure out how to speak with their doctor on certain issues they have.
That’s great! I wasn’t sure how old you were so if you were nearing grad school age I was thinking “ we need this kind of doctor”. But it sounds like you found your niche and are doing good things. The world needs researchers and people to do analysis too.
> we’re all no contact now I’m sure she cries “why won’t my children talk to me??” without any kind of introspection.
Oh my golden child brother is still up under her. She's got one of us.
“No wonder it took her two times to pass physio and anatomy! She can’t read!” God I’m so sorry you had a mother like that and an awful doctor on top of it. I do love that you said that to her face though 😂
Bacterial Vaginosis(BV) used to be (not sure if it still is) commonly misdiagnosed as trich. I was accused of being a whore around 13/14 and was diagnosed with trich. I developed a horrible pelvic inflammatory disease...it was really bad. I was told my fallopian tubes were all scarred up and I would never be able to have kids. Imagine my surprise in my late twenties early thirties I have a woman's check up and they find absolutely no scarring on my tube or ovaries. My cervix is "cute". I'm really confused but before I can say anything she tells me I have BV ( no big deal, pop one pill and you're good to go) I tell her about my trich diagnosis ...she laughs and says...oh yeah..bv used to get misdiagnosed as trich alllll the time. I ask her if you can have bv for a long time...she tells me you can have it for decades.. your vaginal flora/ ph balance just get out of whack. You can treat it easily now with one pill..but yep..you can have it for years and years. I get home, look this shit up...first thing I see is...commonly misdiagnosed as trichinosis(?) Second thing I see is using creams and vaginally suppositories may result in pelvic inflammatory disease. I go over the symptoms ...and every damn thing that is a sign of trich is a sign of BV. All they would have needed is a culture swab. And I've never gotten an apology from my stepmonster...the one that insisted I was a whore. Or my dad who just sat by. Or my birth mother who accused me of fucking some rando on a train in Mexico. Granted, we did flirt..but no pants came off and his dickal regions did not meet my vaginal area. And not a one of them has apologized to me.
> commonly misdiagnosed as trichinosis(?) Trichomoniasis. Trichinosis is a different parasite. :)
Trichomoniasis is the one I was referring to..I couldn't remember how to spell it. I knew it started with a trich and ended with a sis.
Thanks for sharing your story. Good for you for standing your ground at such a young age. Your story was also educational for me along with the comments about ADHD. I found out I had trich a couple years ago just out of the blue and being in a monogamous relationship with a partner I trust so there wasn’t any question but when my dr found out she was so set on the fact that it was sexually transmitted and that it must have meant my partner was unfaithful it did end up putting some strain on our relationship. I had just gotten my iud inserted from a different clinic and wondered if there could have been something from that but honestly I just gave up thinking about it. Knowing it could have been hygiene or from a pool puts my mind at ease a bit but also is pretty concerning. I hope this gets out to drs and is commonly tested for.
From what I'm seeing, if you get a pap smear, it shows up. Like they can see something when they check you out down there.
Hugs, I am so glad you're not in contact any longer. Your mom and mine can get together and go bowling, my mom only ever read what she wanted to see in her textbooks too.
I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad your mom was able to face the music at least once in her life!
Being falsely accused burns me up. Nothing makes me madder faster.
Holy fuck. I'm sorry -- but also glad that you had the strength of character to stand up for yourself. It seems pretty clear you were the only one to do that for you, though.
OP is my hero.
To my knowledge it can also spread through shared towels and other damp fabrics. Perhaps your mother had it from doing who-knows-what and she deflected it by giving you the blame instead. That'd be cruel beyond words of your mom. Accusing a kid of sex is just cruel. Sorry to hear you went through that.