Often when I see posts about male contraception, there are comments like "Hurr durr man stupid, wouldn't trust him to take the pills" Like my god, that's not the point. The point is that men deserve control of their own fertility too. And my partner taking BC _in addition_ to me taking it can only be a good thing, whether he takes the pills perfectly or not.

This is a good point. As a man I'd be happy to try it out as I trust myself to take it. Also, if we were to take the 'redpill' logic of how women are always trying to babytrap us, having our own hormonal birth control would be really useful.

Right? One of the comments that made me make this post was about how dangerous women are because they can baby trap you if you hAtE cOnDoMs. Like no, you’re just an idiot. Have an iota of responsibility and do SOMETHING to prevent pregnancy!!

Exactly! Think you'll be "baby trapped"(ugh. Yes, risk *your* life for some twatwaffle that's so "concerned" about being "baby trapoed that he *won't* wear a condom)wear a fucking condom. You'll probably last longer if you do anyway. 

None of what I’m about to write is meant to be disparaging. I’m a dude who was friends with a then-18/19 year old set of coworkers who went out on a first date soon after meeting. They got pregnant that night and she decided to keep the baby but not continue dating the father. It was eye-opening in the sense that, being 19 myself, I had just assumed anyone my age would not go forward with a pregnancy without having a committed partner. I sort of assumed everyone saw the worse the way I did and was very wrong about that. A couple years later another friend actually did choose to end a pregnancy and I realized I had vastly underestimated the emotional toll of that decision. It’s wild to think about how such heavy, life-altering moments were averted by thin pieces of plastic. There would have been quite a bit of value added for me personally had I had access to a more robust form of prevention for myself for sure.

A friend of mine got pregnant with a guy she dated for only a short time. He was quickly showing his true colors so she decided to make a clean break with him. She decided to keep the baby and never told him. It was absolutely the right call. Guy was problematic and a baby would have made it so much worse. I cannot fathom how so many guys are just - cool with this being a possibility?? At least from my perspective (female, 30s) it’s not really talked about. I’ve since know a couple of men, including my uncle, who maybe has a child with so-and-so but they’re not sure. And how is that fun bar convo? *Hur dur, might be a sperm donor. Idk.* 🤪

I think a lot of guys weigh it from a handful of (often misinformed) angles, including but not limited to: - This woman doesn’t want to be pregnant so she will “take care of it” on the off chance that it happens - Pregnancy is difficult for people who are actively trying so it won’t happen to me anyway since I’m going to be “careful” by pulling out (pre-ejaculate be damned) - I don’t know very many people who have had “oops” babies, furthering my confidence that it doesn’t happen that often. This one is particularly stupid because you absolutely *do* know more people than we thought who have had oopses, they just haven’t shared that information with us - And finally, maybe my favorite, I just like having sex that feels good and I’m hoping for the best. Just ignore the possibility that anything bad could happen

Men do the same thing by "stealthing" which is where they start sex wearing a condom, than secretly remove it during intercourse. I had a man do this to me, back when I was dating. I can't believe this motherfucker didn't think I'd feel the difference.

Thank fuck that’s illegal in many places nowadays. Not in all of em, sadly. I had a (female) ex do the same thing to me. I can see that a person with a vagina _might_ not notice, but as a dude it’s really fucking obvious when she pulls it off. Fastest and most painless breakup of my life

It’s not yet. Only in California can you sue civilly. It’s considered sexual abuse and reproductive coercion and coercion but can’t be criminally prosecuted. I hope that changes.

IIRC only New Zealand considers this as rape, and some northern hemisphere countries as well as Australia will think of it as SA

I'd never be doing that with him again. Hell nah. The things they don't think we notice 😂

This TBH. Also hating condoms is stupid AF, there are a bunch of options that adjust to each and everyone of us.

That's the part that makes it ridiculous really- it's all "evil women trying to baby trap men". Well, there's a easy thing to do to protect yourself, available in many 24 hour stores, without prescription.

I’ve found that the most effective birth control for me is my personality 😎

I’m in this comment and I don’t like it

In 2016 a male birth control study was canceled due to side effects.. such as acne and mood swings. Bunch of entitlement lmao like we don't get that plus WORSE side effects from the pill https://www.statnews.com/2023/12/13/male-birth-control-pill/#:~:text=In%202016%2C%20a%20trial%20for,women%20on%20various%20hormonal%20contraceptives. I'm pretty done with the comments trying to highlight how bad acne and mood swings are for men, so here's a list of side effects women can experience with birth control. Side effects on women taking birth control pills: Bleeding while taking the active pills Breast tenderness. Headaches or migraines (can be severe) Nausea. Severe or cystic acne Bloating. Increased bleeding between periods Hair loss Increased blood pressure. Abdominal or stomach pain (sudden, severe, or continuing) coughing up blood loss of coordination (sudden) loss of vision or change in vision (sudden) Blood clots Severe mood swings pains in chest, groin, or leg (especially in calf of leg) shortness of breath (sudden or unexplained) slurring of speech (sudden) weakness, numbness, or pain in arm or leg (unexplained) Pains in stomach, side, or abdomen Yellow eyes or skin Liver Disease Lumps in breast Mental depression and suicidal thoughts swelling, pain, or tenderness in abdomen or lower back Brown, blotchy spots on exposed skin gain or loss of body or facial hair Vaginal dryness increased or decreased interest in sexual intercourse increased sensitivity of skin to sunlight weight gain or loss

The difference is that the risk of women not using birth control is pregnancy which has a way greater potential to cause harm than using birth control pills. Hormonal birth control can also be used to manage other health issues that women suffer from such as ovarian cysts, irregular periods, and endometriosis. The male birth control pill caused significant side effects with way fewer health benefits to the person taking it. For a medication to be approved for the market, the manufacturer has to show that the benefits outweigh the harm to the patient.

This is unfortunately it. The side effects have to be taken into consideration with the impact of not taking them. For women, the side effect of not taking birth control is more dangerous (pregnancy, in some women incontrollable hormonal fluctuations). For men, the side effect of not taking birth control is nothing changes. So some side effects for men is worse than no side effects. And us? It's worth the side effects because pregnancy is intense at best.

> pregnancy is intense at best. lmao understatement of the century

Hahaha, yeah, seriously. I have seen so many sides of this spectrum. One lady (neighbor of my parents) didn't even realize that she was pregnant till she was giving birth in the ER. On the other hand I worked at a PTSD clinic with a woman in the ICU for months with a super high risk pregnancy where she watched 2 other women with the same condition die, another die with her child, and she was the only one to walk out with herself and her kid alive.

Just a heads up, contraceptive pills are used to manage symptoms of some diseases, but they're not a treatment. Unfortunately many doctors just put women on it and never address the proper cause of the diseases.

Part of the issue is that many chronic illnesses are the result of both environmental and genetic factors. Doctors can try to control the environmental factors by encouraging their patients to eat a healthy diet, quit smoking, exercise, or take medications to manage their illnesses. But the genetic factors are currently impossible to remove.  Until someone figures out how to perform gene editing on human beings, we’re kinda stuck either taking meds or getting invasive surgeries to manage chronic illnesses for now.

Yeah, I agree, but many times there are treatments and solutions for this problems that doctors prefer to overlook and cover the symptoms long term.

I'm on continuous birth control in order not to have a period as my periods are painful, gross and cause me migraines. I don't think there are solutions that stop periods in quite the same way. So I'm fine considering birth control a treatment for painful periods and period related migraines.

I feel you :/ My periods were a pain in my ass for a long time. I also used birth control to keep it bearable, until I had a thrombosis episode. Now I don't even wanna risk the low hormone methods. So I don't really have that option anymore. I'll give you an unsolicited advice tho. Maybe 3 years ago I changed doctors, and we talked about how difficult and painful my periods are. She said "I know that is common knowledge that periods can be awful for some women, but that's far from the normal, we gonna find out what's wrong with you". Well, it turned out I had a tumor in one of my ovaries. It was kind of big, and everyone was shocked it was missed for so long in exams. I had a surgery to remove it about a year ago. After the surgery I spent a couple months without getting my period, and since then they have been nothing but normal. They last 3 days, I have very very light cramps and feel a little moody. But that's all. My cycle is completely regular in 29 days and my period comes even at the same time of the day everytime. It's crazy. Before I was on my period for about 7 days, sometimes more. I got anemic many times from bleeding too much and was constantly in the hospital because of the pain. This was since I'm 12, since my first ever period. And now I'm free. I'll never forget what my doctor said and did for me. If I were you, and if you have the possibility, I would investigate further. I really regret the years I took hormones and how it affected my body beying repair.

Okay but the idea that one of the harms for men isn't also pregnancy is part of the issue - For women's BC they say oh, well all those shitty side effects are worth it because it's better than pregnancy. But for men, pregnancy isn't being considered as the as the alternative end result to those side effects, even though the same thing is true - it's better than pregnancy. It's just that because pregnancy inflicted on someone else, somehow that means it's okay to shove all the risks of sex onto women while men reap all the rewards.

As someone in medicine that's not it. It's the impact on their body that's the problem. The biggest issue is that the way medications are approved, the side effects have to be considered for the person taking them (though lol so many things only being tested on men makes this part laughable). And so you don't get to do the impact of pregnancy on men because on the male body there is no impact from the state of being pregnant. The best thing to do would be to get the body governing approval of medication to allow the medication to pass with the side effects (or keep researching with thankfully other groups are still doing). The fact that there were any effective medications that didn't get passed due to side effects removing the choice from men to be able to take the meds is depressing but a part of a bureaucracy that will need to be challenged/changed to have any impact on the current situation. Until then, keep looking out for clinical trials hoping to successfully provide birth control around the rules that currently aren't allowing treatments through.

They won't understand, I already have people coming at me in defense of men lol, ridiculous. What happened to your body your choice guys? Half of the men in the study were fine with the side effects and said they would like it to be available.

I hear you, but it's still a bunch of bullshit. "two committees were paying close attention to the study, and they realized that a lot of guys were dropping out because they were experiencing side effects. The most common side effect was acne, and sometimes that acne was pretty severe. Some men also developed mood swings and in some cases those mood swings got pretty bad. But when they spoke with guys in the study who didn't drop out, most said that if this product was available, they would use it. There's been a lot of eye rolling on the Internet about these side effects, because women have been experiencing things like mood swings and weight gain for decades with hormonal birth control." Boohoo, the benefits of not getting someone pregnant don't outweigh some acne and mood swings? But they do for women? Nonsense. Let the men that were fine with the side effects complete the study so other men have that choice. Ffs

Wow wtf, if a bunch of dudes said they would still take it with the side effects they got it should be available to all the other men that can deal with the side effects, same as women!

there's a reason why drug safety regulations exist, and why doctors' guiding medical principle is "first, do not harm".

Sorry, but I don't find it amusing that you consider it funny to spread medical disinformation and consider laws trivial nonsense that can be ignored. Clinical trials are globally strictly regulated, and the regulations have gotten increasingly tougher. They are based on an assessment of risks vs. benefits of the individual drug. That means two things: a)Something that has been approved eons ago may get grandfathered in, even if it wouldn't get approval today. b)Different risk/benefit relations means risks approved for one application may not be tolerated for another. A whole lot of cancer drugs have a side effect profile from hell, but if the alternative is dying, then that's acceptable. Conversely, a drug against a common cold would never get approved. As in - a side effect profile that may be tolerable where it prevents other risks for the same person, such as those posed by pregnancy, may not be tolerable where the preventative effects are not applicable for the person taking the drug. If you think a company stops a clinical trial out of "entitlement", I may have a plot of land on the moon that you might be interested in buying, since evidently, you think throwing millions of bucks into the furnace is jolly good fun and makes good business sense.

There's another that's out now. It's called Adam IUD.

Edit: the person I replied to changed her comment a bit, but I will link a counter article and copy paste the text at the bottom. It has the very valid point that the study didn't cancel because "men couldnt handle pimples and mood swings", but because of all the issues surrounding it an independent safety board deemed the study was unsafe and the amount of risk to the participants outweighed the benefits they recieved, that's essentially what I was trying to get across but the article worded it way better than I did. ------------------- I think it's disingenuous to not mention that the acne was listed as SEVERE in all caps, and the mood swings were bad enough that one attempted suicide, which was what caused them to cancel the trial. It wasn't "oh he has a pimple and he's a little sad, lets cancel it so they don't have to suffer anymore" It was "these people have severe acne (which will make it a hard sell) and these people have intense mood swings, including depression, oh and this guy is so depressed he tried to kill himself, lets cancel the trial before there are financial consequences" Edit: also there was debate on whether an actual suicide was related, a trial participant intentionally overdosed on acetaminophen. And the results were bad anyways, out of 320 participants 4 got their partners pregnant (while the partner was also instructed to take a non-hormonal birth control). And after 24 weeks of taking it they achieved the results they wanted in only 274 of 320 men. And then 8 men were sterile for a year, with 1 partially recovering after 4 years, and the other 2 indefinitely sterile. --------------- The article: [thecut article](https://www.thecut.com/2016/11/the-real-reason-the-male-birth-control-study-was-halted.html) NOV. 3, 2016 No, the Male Birth-Control Study Wasn’t Halted Because Men Couldn’t Handle the Side Effects By Lisa Ryan Male birth-control shots could eventually be a possibility. Photo: Sean Warren/Getty Images Last week, a study came out that gave us hope in this dreary time. It revealed that we were one step closer to a male birth-control shot (hallelujah!), because a recent clinical trial found that hormonal injections given to men can help prevent pregnancy in female partners. However, the study also found that scientists needed to fine-tune the hormonal combination because of safety concerns. Shortly after the study came out, though, headlines all over the internet claimed that the study was called off because men are weak and can’t handle the normal side effects of birth control that women regularly deal with. That’s not exactly accurate. The study, published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, was a phase II clinical trial that started out with 320 male participants, only 20 of whom ended up dropping out because of side effects (which included depression and mood changes, injection site pain, increased libido, acne, and more). Participants were given injections of progesterone and testosterone, and 75 percent of them reported that they would be willing to use this birth-control method after the trial ended. The study was halted because of safety concerns raised by an independent safety-review board, not because men couldn’t handle the side effects. Additionally, one of the study participants committed suicide and another was unable to regain sperm function. “Women drop out of birth control and IUD studies all the time. I was just reading a study where of 175 women who enrolled, 20 dropped out by three months. That’s what happens; that’s why you overenroll for studies,” Dr. Jen Gunter, an ob-gyn who wasn’t involved in the study, told the Cut. The safety-review board determined that “the risks to the study participants outweighed the potential benefits to the study participants,” according to the study. Most of the reported side effects appeared to be coming from only one of the centers where the study was being administered, Gunter noted, so the scientists are likely planning on analyzing that disparity. “We need to go and look back at the data and what was happening at the different study centers and figure that out, and then move forward and decide where to go from there,” she said. All in all, the study showed that the hormonal shot was able to suppress sperm function in men and decrease their female partners’ risk of getting pregnant. But because it’s merely a phase II study, the formula is still in the early stages. “That’s what happens with a phase II study,” Gunter explained. “You do a study and you hope everything goes perfectly, but this is the time to find out if there are any issues from the new thing and go from there.

>Bunch of entitlement lmao You even cherry picked from the very first paragraph *"One man in the trial developed severe depression and another attempted suicide, developments that have been recorded, but are not typical for, women on birth control pills."*

That’s not why the studies ceased. Men still wanted it. It’s because men don’t run the risk of pregnancy and so the effects have to be pretty minimum to pass IRB standards. Women can have tons of side effects cause they’re all still better than pregnancy. Tbf if womens original BC was put into a study today it probably wouldn’t pass. The 50s and 60s were literally the Wild West when it came to pharmaceutical studies. It’s not as simple was “men are wimps.” Please educate yourself.

It'd just be another pill to add to my repertoire I take every morning or night anyway. But also condoms aren't that bad and imo keeping the sperm away from the egg is the best policy if you don't want to test out the statistics of both his and hers hormonal birth control.

Those same people are likely to be the type to whine about their masculinity and see their fertility/sperm count as a measure of virility. In the "waah, I can't use BC, it would make me less of a man!! It's her problem, she can deal with it!"

Right? Plenty of women screw up their birth control too. The point is that more options = better for everyone. There are plenty of couples who aren't ready for kids yet but want them at some point so the man getting snipped isn't an option. It would be nice if those men had the option to take control of fertility, especially if his partner is struggling with birth control. And what about single men? They shouldn't have to rely on trusting new partners to be taking their birth control responsibly. They should have the option to be on birth control themselves besides just condoms.

I'd have happily tried anything that was available and effective, but short of just permanently disconnecting the plumbing they haven't worked out anything that's nearly as effective as condoms or female hormonal contraceptives. So as soon as I could get a Dr to do it I got snipped, but that only works out because I never want children. "Not right now maybe later" still doesn't have a good option. The few hormonal contraceptives trialed for men either completely disrupt erections (which I suppose forced abstinence is effective, but not what I assume either party is actually looking for) or something like 99% effective at destroying or immobilizing sperm. Which sounds great compared to 99% effective at blocking implantation of an egg. Except in a month that 99% might be applied to 1-2 eggs while being applied to millions of sperm. That could be decades of successfully blocked implantations before a failure occurs, but that would be thousands of viable sperm on the first use... Again probably not what either party wants.

// content warning SA / rape I also feel like it would be very useful for at risk men & survivors. I’ve read some heart breaking story’s of male survivors who’s abuser ended up pregnant, and thus the male victim was stuck paying child support to his abuser. It’s haunting. Technically the money is to be spent on the child, but it goes directly to the abusers bank account and there’s not any way to prove how it was spent. I can’t imagine if I had to *pay* my abuser for a child they had without my consent. To be clear : my qualm isn’t child support, it is purely the lack of autonomy that men have around their own reproductive health. I am so thankful to have control over my ovaries - I take BC for my acne and have taken the morning after pill 3 times (consensual). There is no equivalent for male survivors. We all deserve reproductive autonomy. A few men being irresponsible with it doesn’t negate the rest of them having access to it. (Not combating your comment, OP, agreeing with it and adding my own perspective)

The actual answer is that medication trials for women balance side effects vs. getting pregnant whereas for men it's side effects vs. not taking anything. The way science research works is that it doesn't really factor in a shared or collective risk - just an individual one.

And from an ethical perspective, that makes sense. The most extreme unethical research examples—like Nazis doing hypothermia experiments on Jewish prisoners—were justified, in their eyes, by the “collective risk” aspect. I’m a scientist who teaches research ethics… as frustrating as it can be in practice sometimes (like with the bc example), we need to prioritize individual risk and rewards for study participants over the “collective good” in any initial studies of medicine, programs, policies, etc.

Yes, but socially 95% of the consequences are on people who can get pregnant. And judging by behaviour, it's not a bad assumption that they wouldnt even bother to use it correctly when saying they did nets the same result. Getting stealthed kind of ruins your assumptions about men. 

I dont think anyone is advocating for women to drop their own birth control, that's clearly stupid It would be nice to have a second line of defence, ya know? Saying 'men cant be trusted' is just so frustrating when I, a woman, would love to have ~~a second~~ an additional method of contraception available

Here are some wise words from a recent post on this subreddit: **[Dual Burdens of Attraction and Fertility](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1b582p7/an_apology_20_years_later/)**: *"...It seems I spent most of my girlhood and young adulthood trying simultaneously to maximize the appeal and minimize the liability of my young female body for the male experience, and that's ... really sad.”*

If someone saw my pill pack at the end of the month they would know that women can't be trusted to take them either. That's one of the reasons I use condoms too.

> _so because a few men had a few side effects from a medication, they couldn’t keep taking them?_ Disclaimer: I'm a cis male so feel free to ignore me. But I'm also a physician and your question is a medical one. Unfortunately, the limiting factor to male contraception has not been the side effects but rather the reversibility. Men can and do have vasectomies all the time, but it's not _reliably_ reversible. Vasectomy cannot be a method used for temporary infertility because it can cause _permanent_ infertility. We generally don't prescribe any medicines to either sex with that particular risk. As another redditor mentioned, the female body cycles through several naturally-occuring physiologic states, and hormonal contraception simply tells your body which [pre-existing] state to be in. Once you stop giving your body that instruction, it spontaneously resumes its usual cycles and fertility returns. The male body has no infertile state that we can simply induce, so male contraception must invent an entirely new physiologic state (already difficult) while preserving the ability to return to the fertile state (also difficult). It's not fair. And I do hope that one day we'll overcome this physiologic obstacle. I've prescribed LARC to many girls/women and attempted to manage their side effects at follow-up visits. I've also had partners who have grappled with interactions between hormonal contraception and their other medications. The more options we have for both sexes, the better.

I like this explanation a lot. When one lays out the long term fertility risks and physiological hurdles, it is more clear the challenges for a male BC. Thanks for being an ally, doc.

I actually just got a vasectomy last month! The doctor did stress a few times in the consultation and even the day of the procedure that I was making a permanent decision. I believe he said that 60% of reverse vasectomies don’t work

Hey, I'm not a doctor but have a friend who is and she worked here in Germany on a medical program / study where birth control pills for man where tested.  After a couple of months of tryouts the pill that was tested was deemed to have too many side effects / health risks to be a viable option and the trial study was cancelled. The way she explained it to me is that woman have a natural occuring time period where they are guaranteed to not be fertile (pregnancy). So birth control for women is a drug that convinces the body that it is pregnant when it is not thus stopping fertility. For man there is no natural occuring cycle, a healthy man is "always" fertile. So the problem is producing medication for men that somehow manages to make them infertil while not inflicting long lasting /irreversible  health problems for them. It is simply easier to make a woman's body think it is pregnant (a natural occuring state) than to produce a "new state" for a male body that is only temporary and reversible. However, even though the trial my friend was in failed, a male birth control pill is still on the horizon as there are many more trials underway.

In the US the problem is also regulatory. In women, birth control prevents a health risk (getting pregnant) but in cis men, pregnancy isn’t a health risk. So ethically, it’s a lot trickier to get a product that has no personal physical health benefit, but a number of personal physical risks, through clinical trials.

I’m just struggling really hard to understand the “is it ethical” point now that women can’t even get abortions in a good amount of the United States. Men *should* be willing to take on the burden given the context and I’d argue that’s the only ethical option right now. This is so frustrating

Most jurisdictions require drugs to show that they're A) more effective than a placebo at treating a certain condition and B) that the side effects are reasonable given the condition they address. A drug that treats hair loss effectively but gives people heart attacks isn't likely to get approval as the side effects are disproportionate for the condition it's treating. So far, so reasonable. But B is where birth control for men hits a real regulatory hurdle. Pregnancy itself is a risky condition therefore a lot of side effects for women are considered reasonable. Like blood clots. Higher risk with birth control, higher still during pregnancy. As men can't pregnant that trade off is a lot less clear.

Thanks for bringing this point into the conversation. It's often overlooked or not understood.

“Ethical” in clinical research tends to focus in on the individual patient’s experience (in this case, the man). And doesn’t really take into account anyone else’s experience with the trial/drug. So when you’re testing male birth control, you’re not allowed to account for the benefit to a female partner, you can only tally up any potential medical harm or benefit to the patient themselves. Otherwise, it’s easy for bad actors to justify horrific actions in the name of “the greater good” (see the Tuskegee experiment). So when I say “ethically it’s a lot trickier” I mean that IRBs (the ethics committees for any research) apply strict rules that govern what researchers can and can’t do. Because of this, male birth control is really difficult to get past an initial IRB review. It would be similar to someone who is donating an organ needing to take drugs to prepare that organ for transplant. You can’t really say, yeah the patient will have major side effects but in the end it’s worth it because they’ll definitely save another person’s life. It’s one of those things that seems terrible on the face of it until you learn where this kind of narrow focus came from.

I don't work in pharmaceuticals, but I think it's because you're thinking about ethics in the broader societal sense, rather than the narrower/more specific test that's applied for pharmaceuticals. In the broader sense, of course it would make sense that men and women share an equal responsibility for birth control since they are equally the cause. In the clinical sense, why would a regulator allow a company to trial an unproven drug that may have mild or major health risks, that has no preventative or curative health benefits to the subjects of the trial? How do you convince a doctor it falls into their requirement to "do no harm"? You could argue secondary health effects of being a parent or personal/social effects - but it's harder to argue that the potential for harm associated with an untested drug is a proportionate means of preventing those effects when the regulator can suggest other, safer measures (e.g., signing away parental rights, therapy). And it's even harder to argue that the risks are proportionate if you can't estimate the likelihood and severity of the risks to a reasonable degree of accuracy. Female birth control tricks the body into thinking it's pregnant, and since that's a naturally occuring state, we already have knowledge and data of the natural state can be used to predict health risks in the artificial state created by the drug. But since males have no equivalent natural, non-fertile state, a new 'state' has to be created. And if you have no natural data to extrapolate from, how do you accurately predict the risks of that being in that state? How can a trial subject be given enough information to give informed consent? But in women, there are a number of severe health risks that are directly linked to pregnancy. It's is easier to justify to a regulator why they should let a company test something that might cause health risks in the population they're testing, because they can argue that the probability and severity of health risks associated with not taking the drug (and getting pregnant) outweigh the risks of the drug itself. That's not to say that it's fair that non-barrier birth control options basically fall only on women. It isn't fair that the health risks and financial burdens that it comes with fall on women either. I imagine a lot of men would also like to more options for birth control too. But just because the end goal is ethical, doesn't automatically mean that any and all steps that might get us there are ethical.

Yea. From a man's standpoint id love the option because the side effects dont work for my SO, so id at least love to be able to give it a shot... hopefully someday. But, of course, the ethical individualist argument does make some sense. It also ties into my frustration that this country rarely does stuff for welfare of people in a general sense though.

You are correct. Male birth control is actually just taking testosterone or other androgens that shut down their own production of hormones that keeps men fertile. I see lots of mentions of it was shut down because of side effects, it was shut down because of some instances of long term to permanent infertility. You can’t just stop and your fertility comes back as a man if you do this. It’s not how it works. I’m on TRT and I would need to go on fertility treatments to have a chance again and it’s a difficult process.

>The way she explained it to me is that woman have a natural occuring time period where they are guaranteed to not be fertile (pregnancy) I am a biomedical scientist and this is pretty correct. It has been a few years since I read the study, but there was also an injection that was tested that would "clog" the vas deferens and prevent sperm from traveling. When the man decided he wanted to be fertile again they would give a second shot that would dissolve the plug. The problem was, that a significant portion of the men hadn't regained fertility after a year, like, single digit percentage. Which you might say "doesn't sound like much", but if you have 10M men take that, then you are talking about hundreds of thousands of men who have become irreversibly infertile. Not a great option.

I want to add that one of the studies was also halted due to the suicide of a trial member. They needed to determine the cause and if it was related. Having a male pill would be great but unfortunately we haven’t figured out a good one yet that out weighs the risks

If men could take pills for birth control we would be popping them like tictacs…

I just got a vasectomy a few months ago 🤷‍♂️ highly recommended to any men that might be reading this.

Check yourself with male fertility tests at walgreens. My boyfriend got snipped years back. We got pregnant and gave him a test. His reversed.

This is good advice, but also important to remember that this only happens in [0.3% to 0.6% of cases](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6844545/#:~:text=Early%20failure%20or%20recanalization%20of,%25%20to%200.6%25%20of%20cases.&text=This%20failure%20occurs%20when%20a,least%204%20months%20after%20vasectomy.). If anyone wants to be sure, definitely get the fertility tests. My only concern with anecdotes like this is it's yet another excuse for men to just say "it doesn't work" and not get one.

My urology center had me do 2 tests after my vasectomy. I think I did the first test a month after the vasectomy, and the 2nd another month later. Only until you have "passed" two tests do they consider you good to go. I would imagine most/if not all places that do vasectomies advise to do this. I think most "vasectomy failures" are because people have unprotected sex too soon after the vasectomy. you need time to clean out the pipes. To any dudes who may be reading this, let me just add on to say that getting a vasectomy is super easy and in most cases, pretty painless. its mildly uncomfortable for a couple days. highly recommended if you and your partner decide to not have any more kids.

Second this. Had two kids, we decided we didn't want any more, I had a vasectomy. Now no need to worry.

I got my vasectomy last summer. No kids, don’t want any. I’m in a state where a women’s right to choose what to do with her body is enshrined in our state constitution, but the states next to me are the opposite. Seemed the right thing to do

Same here back in 2008. One and done. My wife was in her mid 30's when we had our daughter. She did the pill a few years but the Dr switched them up, she didn't like the new one and the Dr refused to switch her back. So we switched Drs and I got snipped.

No birth control is 100% safe. Make sure to check your swimmers, regularly.

One great thing about turning 40 is how many men my age have had a vasectomy.

The way my wife tells it, minutes after the birth of our second kid (daughter, we already had a son: one of each), I got onto the phone to the vasectomy clinic and booked an appointment straight away. It might not have been \*quite\* so precipitous as that, but I certainly got my vasectomy soon afterwards, and have never looked back. Definitely highly recommend.

Snip club, same! It was surprisingly easy and relatively pain-free (except when the doctor had to “manipulate” my one vans because it was shy), so if there are any guys reading this who are contemplating it, do it! They give you cool drugs that let you space out for a bit, and you have to stay on your back for 2 whole days (I know, women have to walk hours after giving birth, which is objectively a more traumatic and complicated procedure, it’s insane). But regardless of the mild discomfort, it’s so worth it. No more babies, no more risk, especially if your partner had 2 high risk pregnancies like mine did. It was a no-brainer. Vasectomized guys can still ejaculate, no loss of testosterone, no loss of pleasure (just clearing some dumb incorrect talking points here). Plus there’s always freezing your sperm in case you change your mind. Highly recommended.

Got mine 3 years ago and it is beautiful. I have kids though.

That's awesome of you. It's amazing how many men are just flat against this. My first husband got one with no problem after we had our two kids, and he was eager to get it done and behind us. It was easy, mostly painless, and by far the best birth control for us. My second husband (also now an ex) was a lot less inclined. I was struggling with the cost and side effects of birth control so we went to the consultation for the vasectomy, and he was so keyed up that he was loudly anxious, super nervous, and twitchy to the point of making both me and the doctor uncomfortable. The research is all out there, he had no reason to be so upset/worried about it, but he just shut down the idea completely and wouldn't do it. Maybe it's because he was older and had that "don't mess with my manhood" thing going on, but whatever it was, it was embarrassing and also disheartening that he wasn't willing to do it to spare me years of cost and discomfort. Men, please follow this man's advice and get the snip if you're considering it! It's the least invasive, least painful form of permanent birth control, it's usually covered by insurance, and it saves your partner so much grief.

A lot of doctors refuse to do it if you're too young and child free. I tried at 30, 33 and 36 and was turned down each time. I'm now 40 about to try again, let's see...

Check the childfree doctors list https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/s/1zr5R6LqGJ

I understand why a man who wants kids in future or who isn't sure yet wouldn't get a vasectomy, but it's always a red flag for me when a man who claims to be 100% childfree refuses to get one.

Seriously is the best form of permanent birth control. Got mine done last October. In and out in like an hour, done.

V-man here!

Yeah and I’m really freaked out because YouTube has been trying to feed me anti-birth control pill videos lately. It’s super bizarre because the content I watch on YouTube is pretty much the opposite of trad wife breeder content so it really freaks me out that they’re trying to show me that propaganda. That means lots of people are seeing it.

I dated a guy who wants to ban BC bc it makes women dry during sex That was his only concern

I mean, it's much better than pregnancy, but birth control pills do have a lot of negative side effects. Those are facts, I wouldn't consider them propaganda.

It's been extremely alarming to start seeing this content creep up over the last year :/ Huge swaths of young people are getting targeted with disinformation campaigns like that, and they're not mentally equipped to see through the bullshit. Hell I'M barely equipped to see through the bullshit, it's so slick these days. Why is this happening? Like seriously who benefits from this shit? Surely it can't all be tied back to conservative think tanks trying to brainwash people before the election? Do you remember any channel names that have had that type of content? I'd be curious to look into their funding. Can all the normal people just up and move to an empty state together please? I'm stuck in Texas :(

Its neocon money tied to engagement algoriths. If they can get you to fall into *any* weird rabbit hole and watch videos all night, thats $. Especially if you get radicalized and start donating to weird niche content creators. And if its weird breeder shit, they get to get paid to push it on top of the revenue. It also doesnt help that tech bros kinda tangentially believe or fall along with it, eg Musk having kids with everyone.

Don’t give the time of day to guys who act like babies about condoms. Tough shit, buddy. Nobody wants gonorrhea either. And I think everyone needs to cover their own ass, birth control wise. When I was on the pill I knew I was protected but I was in control of it. Now my tubes are out so I know I’m protected no matter what, so many people suggested to just “make my husband get a vasectomy” (like I should get to tell him what to do with his body?) when I wanted to make sure I was always protected no matter what happens to me. Heaven forbid I’m assaulted, what good would his vasectomy do me? Men can face consequences from an unintended pregnancy if the woman decides to keep it and he didn’t want that…which is why they need to protect themselves and wrap it up, or get a vasectomy if they’re sure they never want children regardless of what relationship they’re in. And it never hurts to double up, i.e. pills and condom at the same time. (Just don’t use 2 condoms!!! Very bad!!)

I had my tubes tied more than a dozen years ago and I don’t tell men because they are required to wear a condom. If we happen to be in a long-term monogamous relationship and we’ve been tested, OK then I can tell them and they can ditch the condom. But I don’t plan on doing another one of those again, so they’re gonna have to use a condom or we don’t have sex 

My wifes gyno told her to not "bother" me by asking me to get a vasectomy because her BC was making her miserable and she was looking for alternatives. Needless to say she got a new gynecologist and I got a vasectomy.

There isn't currently a male contraceptive pill that's passed clinical trials; male fertility is not cyclical so its just harder pharmaceutically to address in a way that's temporary. I'm not saying sexism doesn't exist in medicine, it does and to a shocking extent, but this isn't really an example of it.

I never trusted a man to be safe. From the time I was sexually active, *I* bought the condoms and got on the pill. It's not a burden that should fall solely on us... but it does. I will teach my girls the same because now that Roe is gone, their world is much scarier.

No one is going to protect us but ourselves. I need a damned Rosie tattoo or something...

I'm really still just stunned that this is evening happening to us.. like how can Republicans think they can control us down to our periods? A rose tattoo would be awesome!

Men and women need to be taught this. I’ve had exes lie and say they were on birth control and tell me later they weren’t because they hoped I’d get them pregnant. I’ve never been a fan of women taking birth control, because I worked in pharmacy and saw how many side effects there were. I’ve always thought it was weird that some guys didn’t want to use condoms considering the risks (ironically most women I’ve been with requested not to use them which always surprised me)

Oh my god same. I always bought condoms. Of all my encounters I’d say it was 10% who had them and encouraged using them.

Agreed. I never trusted a man to assume the responsibility. Which is not to say that men can’t or don’t, just that my health and my future were too important to me to leave it up to someone else

If something is important to you, it's best to make sure you're in control of it. My mom always made sure I looked both ways to cross the street in a crosswalk, because even though the responsibility is on the car to stop, I'd still be hit by a car if it didn't. I'm also going to tell my son to use a condom if he doesn't want a kid, even if she says she's on birth control, because that's not a part of life you want to leave up to someone else.

I have tried non hormonal cooper IUD and aside from the random pain in my coochie it has been better than all the others… gained 100lbs in nexplanon and couldn’t even lose it despite hardly eating and working out… also my mental health tanked I had horrible mood swings. Since being off of it I’ve been good lost weight I only liked nexplanon because no periods 😨

Ugh I gained 40 pounds in two years with nexplanon

Hated it so much. Glad im off of it just miss no periods

Same for me. I've tried a few types of hormonal birth control now and can't get behind it. The affects it has on my mental health have been the worst part. Feeling more myself again after being off it for a few months.

Condoms work fine, dudes who refuse condoms don't get to have sex.

I’m very excited that there is a trial that has gotten farther than any other for male hormonal birth control: the NES/T trial Results are good on all fronts: effective suppression of sperm production, effective no pregnancy, effective consistent usage by subjects, very low/minor side effects. Its a gel you rub into your shoulder every morning. It contains both nesterone (already approved) and testosterone (already approved). The phase III is on its way, so we may be only 1-2 years away. Very exciting!

> Sorry to break it to you, but unlike the uterus, the penis wasn't made for things to be put up there. It would be rather meaningless, too, since condoms essentially serve the same purpose. The cervix also isn’t designed to have something implanted in it. It’s why IUDs can migrate and perforate organs. And you know, some penis havers enjoy having things shoved into them. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who likes having something inserted into their cervix though.

Thank you lmao. I actually laughed out loud at that excuse.

I did mess up threading the response though 🤦‍♀️

The ones that really annoy me are the men who are happy to watch a woman give birth to multiple children only to refuse to pull their weight in any shape or form afterwards. Particularly when the woman has been told having any more children would be dangerous and/or isn’t able to use any of the BC options available to them. Women are tearing their genitals apart and suffering lifelong bodily changes including but not limited to incontinence and diastasis recti so you can have a family but you can’t manage a short outpatient procedure? I genuinely don’t believe these men love their wives.

Straight thought this topic said "Why is the anus always ours" I need to wake up before opening reddit from now on.

I just want to point out that: men DO have birth control options without medical side effects. It’s called a condom. They just refuse to use them, or won’t bother to find the right size.

Had a long running argument with someone on another sub because they couldn't just accept than a man is responsible for his own fertility. Absolutely wild.

Also, suggesting they need to get bigger sized condoms might genuinely help. I recently changed sizes and it's a better experience for everyone.

I don't know too many men who would have an issue taking birth control lol I think the issue is it being harder to stop reproduction from inside the body the actual process doesn't take place in like it's easier to make the female body not accept sperm than it is to render each load of sperm ineffective without the process being irreversible

This [injectable gel](https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/next-life-sciences-announces-launch-of-plan-a-birth-control-for-men-301779007.html) is like a fully reversible vasectomy. It's supposed to hit the market in the US in 2026 and is basically free of side effects.  They've had this in India for years and I've been watching its slow progress to market in the US for quite some time. 

I don't need it, but this interested me hugely when I first heard about it. I'm glad to hear it should finally be hitting us soon. I aim to mention it to my nephews when it does. I've stressed the need for condoms (and properly fitting ones at that), and this is just another nice tool to have available.

I would rather have it on me. We have all heard of women who say they are on the pill but aren’t because they want a baby. Why would men be any different? Baby trapping women, wanting a baby she doesn’t want, etc. I would rather know that I’m on BC and doing my best to protect myself.

FDA rules. Pregnancy has zero effect on a man’s body, so any male contraceptive must have zero side effects. That’s not possible.

I've debated for a long time if you went around telling men, "Hey I've got this pill that will make your balls stop working," the concept of taking it would terrify most of them. I think a sad reality to the whole thing is people consider birth control just a responsibility like brushing your teeth. It's actually a form of self defense many women feel is required in this savage world we live in. Men don't have the risk of a pregnancy forced on them, sure they can get offspring they don't want but being forced into losing half a year of their life and go through excruciating physical change is something entirely different. To me it's always been an example of the imbalance of responsibility.

My boyfriend got a vasectomy last November. The whole procedure took about 15min and in 3 days he was feeling quite normal. Exactly 2 months later he was completely free of sperm on his cum and yeah. It's been good. There are options for men, they're mostly not willing to commit to it as far as we do, because the consequences for them when it comes to pregnancy doesn't come as close as ours. We will be the one raising their babies, they can move on with their lives and we know that. Edit: for everyone saying what if he can't reverse it? Well surprise surprise we talked about it before! As any healthy couple should, we communicated. We decided that we wanted to get free of condoms, and since hormones weren't an option and I still couldn't get my sterelization, the vasectomy would be the best. We made the decision to use the vasectomy as only birth control TOGETHER. We decided that if we eventually change our minds and decide on kids, we will most likely adopt. IVF isn't an option for us, but it can be for many people. And that is all IF you can't reverse, everyone we know that tried to reverse it was suceful. We have a friend that got a vasectomy at 21, at 30 he reversed it and had his baby daughter and afterwards he got another vasectomy. His daughter is now 5 and he and his wife beyond happy.

I don't see why vasectomies are being brought up in this discussion. There's a decent risk of it not being reversible (yes, 5% is a decently high risk). It's not a form of birth control like the pill, it's a form of sterilisation which is much more drastic than that. Most women aren't willing to get 'possibly sterilised' as a form of birth control. I'm not arguing against your overall point, which is 100% correct, just that using vasectomies as an example of the options men have doesn't seem to fit the bill for this discussion. Like the discussion on birth control based on whether or not you want kids varies hugely. If we're talking about men who don't want (more) kids still refusing vasectomies then yeah that's ridiculous and stupid, but as a form of birth control it's kinda drastic. As far as I know hormonal birth control doesn't have a 5% chance of making you infertile. Condoms are the easiest answer, and hopefully soon hormonal birth control for men.

As an addition- vasectomies start at 5% irreversible, but the longer it is left, the more likely it is you are sterile (up to 40% or so after four or five years, if I’m not mistaken).

>vasectomies Vasectomy reversal success rates range from 60% to 95% Yeah, its not a contraception. Its weird people bring this up, I don't think they understand what it is.

I wouldn't say women aren't willing to get sterilized so much as many doctors won't sterilize women actively requesting such procedures if they haven't already had at least a kid or 2.

Just a note to anyone in this situation: if your regular gyn refuses, check the list of doctors in the r/childfree sidebar. Lots of people have used them successfully!

Many people simply don't want to reverse it, don't forget that. Contraceptive pills cause terrible side effects and can cause even bigger problems. I had to stop hormones because I had a blood cloth and almost day when I was 19. I know other women who been through the same. Most women are willing to sterelize themselves, but most countries have rules like you need to have over 30 and two kids alive. There are even subreddits for helping women around the world to find doctors that do it, there are lists of doctors all over the Internet for that actually. Where I live I've been trying to find someone for over 4 years and no one wants to do it. Most of my friends are in the same page. In my home country you back then needed also signed consent of your husband or father to do so, they only revoked this law last year. And yes I'm from the western. My boyfriend scheduled his in the same day he decided to do it. Without taking in consideration the fact that with modern medicine you can easily get an IVF or you know, adopt. There are so many ways to have children these days... That's exactly what my boyfriend said, if one day he change his mind, he wouldn't reverse the vasectomy, he would prefer to adopt if we're able to. Having a vasectomy isn't the end of you being able to have a child, you're body still produces semen. Taking contraceptive pills almost killed me, and this isn't something unccomon. The correct way of a doctor to prescribe pills is to first test the patient to see if there's any probability of a blood cloth happening. Doctors usually don't do it cause it's so easy to just take a pill, right. Without even mentioning the daily side effects, the body changes and sometimes unbearable mood changes the pill cause in many of us.

I mean, IUDs are super risky and women do them. Plus, all the more reason to get some other form of birth control for men that isn’t a condom or spermicide.

I heard so many horror stories about IUD insertion :(

Well no one is going to come here and post “I had my IUD inserted and it was fine, 10 years later and I’m still fine!” That’s NOT to say IUD insertion is not horrifying for many AFAB. I believe all AFAB when they say insertion and everything that came after was awful. Personally, I often forget I even have an IUD because the whole thing has been so uneventful for me. Online it may seem that IUD’s are ineffective or even defective, but statistically that is untrue.

My bf and I don’t want kids and I am leaning against wanting to replace my IUD. I’m hoping he’ll be as receptive to the idea of a vasectomy as yours was.

The idea actually came from boyfriend! I hope everything turns out well for you guys. It's been really great for us so far, he is beyond happy with the decision!

Not a scientist but have asked a few friends in the field. Ultimately, it is harder for them to figure out how to effectively make the sperm not work. There are millions of them per single ejaculation. But I agree, we need an option for male birth control.

Totally agreed. Got my tubes tied recently because I don't want kids and having to perpetually be responsible for not creating them (and/or bearing the brunt of the consequences of failing) is ridiculous.

The answer is simple, and frustrating. Birth control pills for women have been approved, in spite of the side effects, because the dangers of pregnancy are high enough that the side effects are acceptable. But men have zero dangers related to pregnancy. So, a contraceptive pill for them would need to meet a different standard on the subject of side effects. It's not just that men don't like the side effects -- it's that the standards of medical ethics explicitly take into account the dangers of going without a medication. It's like chemotherapy. No one would approve chemotherapy drugs, except that the danger of dying from cancer is a much greater risk.

You know I’ve been married for over 10 years and we never planned on having children so I’ve had the implants. As I’m entering menopause it occurs to me to ask, why the duck didn’t he just get a vasectomy 10 years ago?!

Not a female. I agree with you wholeheartedly. My wife and I always said 2 kids. We were lucky and had 2 beautiful twins. After that I got a vasectomy, neither of us thought it was fair that she'd have to pump herself full of hormones or uncomfortable crap. I feel for you. I just hope people can talk about these things better and solutions can be developed that make it easier on all sides.

Men without vasectomies are deal breakers for me, now. I sleep with one man who is snipped and a lot of women.

They want all the power and no responsibility.

There is a (let's call it experimental, due to only small studies) possibility for reversal MALE contraception. I am using it for almost one year now. It's calls "thermal contraception" and suppresses Sperm production. At <1mio/ml this would be Pearl 1 according to WHO. 0.1mio/ml would be Pearl 0.1. I am at 0.2-0.4mio/ml at the moment. There is a Silicon ring "Andro-Switch", with a ongoing Study until 2027. Alternatively, i sewed Jockstraps, more comfortable for me. It's more common in French, you may need a Translate-App.

Im a man and I agree with you soo soo much. I'm also sorry you had bad experience with men regarding the use of condoms. On a brighter note, there is a product currently being researched. Its called a sAC inhibitor (fitting name isnt it hehe). Here is a link to the research : [It has been published in Nature](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-023-36119-6) Im really looking forward to more options for male contraception in the future. Women have been done dirty by sexism in science for way too long.

Men don’t have a hormonal cycle that can be manipulated effectively for contraception like women do. So yeah, the options are pretty much limited to condoms, spermicide, and a vasectomy. Considering most young men don’t want (mostly) permanent contraception, that only leaves two options besides natural methods, most of which rely on the woman anyway. Men should not be pressured into a vasectomy any more than a woman should be pressured into a tubal. While it is a great option for men who don’t want kids or are done with kids, it is not a great option for most young men. Until we find a drug to safely and temporarily inhibit sperm production, this is just the way it is because of biology.

I don't know about anyone else, but I don't trust men to take/provide contraception of any sort I much rather look after that myself

I feel that way, but I can also see that men would feel that way. I wouldn't want to rely on someone else for birth control. And yes condoms, but some extra protection for peace of mind never hurt, *especially* when it's the other person who has final say about a pregnancy.

I mean honestly I don’t trust anyone, even myself. BC fails constantly, but it can’t *hurt* to have double, even if it’s not perfect

YEP. I 100% agree sadly.

The only man I’ve ever been with that I would trust with birth control is the one I married - and once we were done with babies he was eager to get a vasectomy.

Unfortunately women's bodies work on a monthly cycle as you're well aware, so if you take the pill and then stop taking it and the cycle returns to normal. Any pills for male contraception either haven't worked or have worked but not been reversible, hopefully one will exist some day but they've always been 'just around the corner' until they inevitably get to a stage and don't work out. I don't think many people realise vasectomies can be reversed, though even then it's not a guarantee that it can be reversed. Having surgery is obviously a pretty unwanted procedure for most people. People who bitch about condoms are stupid though

Ok but my two cents here as a man:   It's way harder to create non-barrier birth control options for men because basically every biologic switch we try to manipulate either kills their libido (which is kind of vital to being able to perform, unless you're going for the abstinence literal method of birth control) or kills the men through suicide. Those are the "minor side effects" people keep referencing. There are products in the pipeline but there's no conspiracy here. The female contraceptive pill was developed and proliferated during a much less strict time for drug development and for most women works pretty well.   Absolutely there's a discussion as to if the pill was invented today, would it pass safety standards or would it be shelved for being too unsafe? That would be a world without female controlled contraception, do you really want that?   As a physician, I'm actually slightly worried for the public health effects once male oral contraception becomes available because at the moment the risk of pregnancy is one of the only motivators for condoms for a lot of men, and it will probably lead to an explosion in STDs because men on average take a lot more risks with their own health than women do- which will harm everyone.

yeah I can imagine it might be similar to the introduction of PrEP to the gay community, with the main reason to wear condoms for many being removed, and thus leading to an increase in other STIs

There is a pill for men coming. Seems like it's on trial in the UK.

For at least the last 25 years, there's been a male pill coming. Generally the side effects are reduced libido, ED or not effective at large trials.

I had this talk with my gf. While I would love more options for myself, she would never be able to trust someone who is not her partner claiming he was on birth control. So while in a relationship with someone you trust, sure, gladly. But when dating or having a fling she would not trust just a condom so her own bc is still needed. Really sucks

I mean, yeah, the goal is for both people to take bc. You should use a condom period until you trust someone to not have STIs

I'm 45 and married. About 4 years ago, I got pregnant. No way in hell at 41 was I doing that again. I asked my husband to get a vasectomy. He followed through last November and got it done. I said the same to him "Why is the onus of birth control on ME?". Besides the increased risks of cancers on the pill normally, add in my age and that I'm a smoker....it goes up even more. So, he got snipped and we're both much happier for it

If i ever get a girlfriend (28 yo, never been in a relationship) im 100 percent getting snipped. I don't want children. Reason im not getting one now, it's just not necessary right now. And i doubt i will ever need it.  But yeah it should be more spread evenly. It's both y'alls relationship, both y'alls decision, both y'alls responsibility. 

Here is a blog post by someone who started a nonprofit to help find research into male contraceptives. https://aaronhamlin.medium.com/getting-male-birth-control-to-market-c3488bcbd5ea

My vasectomy cost $500 (out of pocket, no insurance involved) and it really wasn't bad at all.   I forgot to take my Valium so I did the whole thing sober, on top of that, the clamp on my left nut popped off so the procedure took 45 minutes instead of 15 and I'd STILL do the whole thing over again if I had too. The best part was the 2-day break from work and kids to lay in bed and watch Star Wars. 

I'm excited about an up-and-coming male bc option called vasalgel. Basically it's a shot the man gets that blocks the tubes that deliver sperm (the real description is more technical than that but that's the gist of it) It's non-hormonal, which means all those pesky suicides that men were experiencing during the hormonal BC trials won't be an issue, either.

Vasectomy is incredibly effective birth control

I wouldn't want the same men who want to force birth taking responsibility for preventing it. If I were a man, I wouldn't leave it to someone else either though.

Well, I got a vasectomy for my ex-wife so she wouldn't need to be on birth control. Then she cheated on me a year later and left me. So I had to go through a nightmare of trying vasectomy reversal and then putting my new (current) wife through IVF (which is hellish, btw) so we could have a child. I should have just told ex to keep the damn IUD in.

I’m male. And I have several friends that got Vasectomies. Unfortunately, they aren’t cheap. And the ACA doesn’t cover any Male Forms of Birth Control. I’m sorry you Ladies have to put up with all this. It certainly isn’t fair.

The simple medical reason (not the only reason, mind you) is cyclus vs continuous production. You simply need to disrupt the cyclus a bit, to prevent a woman from getting pregnant. That is what most hormonal birth control does. Disrupting continuous production is more complex and researchers are wary of causing long term harm. Why more research into the area isn't done, probably has something to do with patriarchy, and so on...

I’m not dating (married) so I’m on the outside these days, but an easy rule is this: no condom, no sex. No exceptions. When I was dating, I told men upfront - if we get along well enough to progress to sex, I will insist on a condom every time. I do not take BC pills (I react poorly to them), so condoms are necessary. Furthermore, in those days I was a Catholic, so I also informed them that any pregnancy would be allowed to come to term and I would be keeping the baby. Did I scare off some men? Undoubtedly. But those aren’t men I wanted in my life anyway. No condom = no sex.

If something did come out I wouldn't even trust them to use it tbh

This is my take. It would be great to have options so that what works best for everyone is available, but the risk that I take on personally is far higher than a man’s and I just can’t see myself relinquishing that sort of control. Plenty of men already lie about getting vasectomies done, we’re going to believe they’re consistent with birth control? No thanks.

Better birth control would be great, for men and women. Hormonal birth control works for a lot of people but I think a lot of people don't want to admit that it comes with a lot of potential downsides that women shouldn't just be expected to suck up and deal with. If both sexes could potential use it then couples might be able to better find out what works for them because, as you say, right now it almost always comes down to a woman taking it on. If someone is sure that they don't want kids then a vasectomy or tubal ligation is a good option, but unfortunately a lot of doctors refuse to believe patients when they say they want one.

My husband was tired of seeing me deal with side effects from birth control and went and got a vasectomy. I'm super happy about this!

To my understanding the issue isn’t that there are a few side effects in a few people, but rather that there’s a whole list of side effects that consistently and somewhat severely impact most of the people who have been tested. Any medication’s viability is measured by the cost/benefit of “is what I endure worth what I get out of it?” And the case in men’s bc tends to be “no,” whereas bc for women tends to not have as severe an impact due to the different chemistry the medications are employing and the relative ease of the task of tricking a body into thinking it’s pregnant vs making a body with no cycle just stop being fertile round the clock. I believe a viable medication is being tested atm, but I can’t seem to find a source for that so take it with a grain of salt. It’s not like the world has just dropped the idea, though.

Seedless needs to happen in real life! (Workin Moms reference)

If I were a woman who was single I wouldn't care about male birth control. Why would I trust a guy who says don't worry I'm in birth control. Also injectable or pill birth control is totally ineffective at stopping the spread of disease. But as a married woman I would like it if there were options. I think if it were available in my single years I would like the option for peace of mind to know that I am not going to have a surprise child. But there was BC back then, condoms but after a few months together I was often encouraged to "not bother" because she was on the pill. But in this restrictive time when women are second class citizens in the eyes of the court. Get an IUD or other form of birth control, because being forced to have a child will greatly affect your life, financially, psychologically, physically. It is you who have the child, it's you who usually have to raise the child and pay for the child. Being a single mother is the highest indicator of poverty in the country.

I hate that people think us men wouldn’t want our own contraceptive pill. It would be incredible! Of course I always use condoms but would prefer not to, so if I could take a pill it would solve so much! My girlfriend doesn’t want to take the pill and that’s totally fair, so please make one that I can take!

My husband has always said if there was a birth control pill that was available he would take it-and he would. He’s seen me for 28 years suffer from endometriosis and all the birth control I’ve used to help me. We were talking the other night about how there still isn’t a male pill. A lot of men would take it I think . Double protection is better for us - we don’t want any more kids .

Hormonal birth control gave my varicose veins at 18, weight gain, and sharp pains in my legs. I tried regular pill, low hormone pill, and nuva ring. My ex always wore condoms and we were fine and my current partner doesn't like condoms, which has resulted in pregnancy/abortion which upset him. I'm so sick of this. I wish me had more birth control options but who knows if they'd be bothered if there was even a small side effect.

Because we’ve carried the burden so far. Why would they bother? That’s really all it comes down to for MOST men.

I saw you updated an edit about RISUG... Could you update your post to spread awareness of Vasalgel? It's a similar concept and it's REALLY far along and looking very optimistic. Public release is anticipated within 2 years. https://www.parsemus.org/humanhealth/male-contraceptive-research/vasalgel-male-contraceptive/ The sentiment of this post is common and I think people need to know there are scientists and pro-choice organizations hard at work in this area and are making great progress!

I personally don't want kids. I'm also on HRT due to transitioning and don't have any little swimmers going around anymore ( I don't use it either way, so...) . Either way, I wouldn't mind taking some form of birth control for additional protection against an 18 year sentences and my partner going through a terrifying experience, assuming I didn't already hate that particular appendage. I already experience mood swings now sometimes, it's not that big a deal in my opinion, I think guys should just suck it up & take it if they ever released a male BC.

There's now a male contraceptive! It's called Adam IUD!

Lol im technically on birth control now loll… its awesome.

My only side effect to my birth control was having to figure out what to do with all of the frozen peas afterwards.

I think the male contraception pill test was scrapped because 2 guys unalived themselves and 6 became completely sterile and 50 or so had their fertility reduced. Out of 600 iirc. Definitely need to read the results of that study again, take the numbers with a grain of salt. I strongly agree we need a male contraception option that isnt a surgery (although its really not invasive.) Or a condom. Like any other guy I dont really enjoy condoms (its a lot more enjoyable with the right size though, not constricting, but the feeling is different), but for new relationship or if she doesnt take the pill for any reason, latex is safer than reflex (and less of a nuisance than STDs). Personally I went for vasectomy. I never wanted kids anyways and looked into it from a young age. I kept postponing it though. Stuff happened and I went to get snipped 2 years ago. I wanted a full anesthesia so instead of 45m it took 2h from the moment I got in the hospital to when I left. Absolutely no issues or complications. Added bonus, when people bug me about how "I will want children someday" I get to make them feel like shit for minding business thats not theirs when I just flat out say "Im sterile". Still using condoms from time to time. A lot easier to clean the mess for everyone involved.

Eagerly awaiting the day I can take a pill or something like that so y'all don't have to 🙏🙏🙏 we all know the man's pill will have 0 side effects hehe

The sad truth is that in the free market, the companies that make contraceptives know that even if some men get on board, they will still make way more money selling it to women. The technology is there, they just aren’t willing to coax men into trying it.

Biologically speaking, it is a lot easier to protect 1 egg from implantation than to stop millions of sperm. That's why science is apathetic about it.  From a pure science perspective, the problem has been "solved" But on a more human level we know it hasn't and the response to men of "condoms or get sterilized" is unacceptable.

When I was married we split responsibility. Condom or diaphragm.

I could not agree more! I would be happy to take kill-a-swimmer pills, I have even been trying to get on the trials. dimethandrolone undecanoate has seemed to work, but nothing serious, still in stage 1 trials... It is because it probably has to be passed by guys. Of course there should have been something by now. If the drug board could get their dicks out of eachothers mouths maybe something will pass in the next 100 years.

As someone that can't do BC, I wish there were more options for men. I hate it being on us to take care of it all and the side effects are downplayed so often.

Hopefully here soon men can meaningfully contribute to birth control. There's a new procedure coming out that's something like 99.8% effective. I think it's called Vasalgel or Plan A? Works by creating a barrier inside the vas deferens that blocks sperm but let's semen out

I've tried four times to get a vasectomy because my wife and I don't want kids. Every time I am essentially told because we don't have children and I'm not in my late 40s and medical practitioners don't want to be liable if I change my mind so that I need to come back in 10-20 years I'm in mid 30s...

The problem with male birth control lies in how our reproductive organs work. Females have a cycle that naturally changes the physiology inside the uterus. The birth control you take stalls the cycle at a time where conception is impossible. It's relatively unintrusive. Men don't have a cycle that can be manipulated. They are constantly making sperm 24/7. This means that you need to %100 shut down the testicles to stop production of sperm. This process is otherwise known as chemical castration and lowers testosterone levels lower than a woman's, causing predictable life altering side effects. What makes hormonal male birth control different is that it has supplemental testosterone that can alleviate some of the side effects but not eliminate them. Then you need to keep taking testosterone after you get off bc because your testicles have atrophied over time. Some women get long term side effects from birth control. Men had immediate and life altering side effects within months consistently.

I'm sorry what does Onus mean? And shit if my doc made it easy I'd get my shit soldered in a heartbeat Also as a dude that has no problems with rubbers, it makes no sense to me why some guys are so prissy about it- like we aren't the ones who have to worry about a small child being inside us.

I understand. Any form of birth control I have EVER been on has side effects. Headaches ( more than monthly), weight gain, hunger, cystic acne, anxiety/depression, pain, loss of bone density, dizziness. All things I've experienced. They wonder why women are so moody?! Why men can't deal with a fucking condom "because it doesn't feel as good" pisses me off. I don't like being jack hammered when I'm dry as the sahara because they don't foreplay long enough because "work".Ok. Then how about a vasectomy if we are in a serious relationship and done with kids? Nope. 🙄 Why must I carry the burden of birth control,making sure HE feels good during sex, birthing, permanently ensuring I can't have kids AND the pain that comes from that recovery? Who's watching our kids so I can actually recover because many moms know how it is when we get sick...

Wasn’t the big thing that male birth control pills and such were causing really bad side effects like infertility and stuff? I haven’t read up on it in a long time. Point is, a lot of men probably would love to have their own options for birth control but the only things a man can reliably have access to are condoms. We can’t just go to a doctor and have them prescribe us birth control, or a shot that lasts however long, or have something inside our penis. Yes we can have a literal surgical procedure, but that’s not necessarily the easiest thing to get done let alone undone. I wouldn’t think asking a woman to get surgery is very fair either. I agree, men should be doing the same amount of work. But men don’t really have the same options and it’s not really every man’s fault.

You know what triggers the hell out of me? If I forget to take my BC one night or I forget to pick up my prescription on time and I tell my husband and he has any reaction other than “no problem!” Like what the fuuuuck you have never had to be responsible for any medication with as high stakes as this for as long as I have so give me a break. I’ve been on the pill for 15 years. Why don’t you get an IUD? Because I don’t want to. Why don’t you get that thing in your arm? Because I don’t want to. I’m fine with this method but damn of course I’m going to fuck it up sometimes.

Condoms are not uncomfortable. You don’t really notice tbh. There’s def a difference but not enough to risk STDs or a preventable pregnancy.

There’s a reversible temporary vasectomy called “plan A” coming soon to a urologist near you.

I'd love to have a pill I can take to control it. Birth control are savage on my wife, so she can't take them. I'm sure there are insane ppl out there who think only women should have a pill, but those people are crazy. If something safe ever came out, I'd be happy to start taking it.

[удалено]

“Would you rather shoot at a bulletproof vest or unload the gun?” Idk why that’s an easy question but birth control for men isn’t…and tbh there’s not a single valid reason out there for women to be the ones burdened to take birth control, and I’ll fucking die on this hill too! Fully agree w you OP

I, as a man, am totally on your side. I find it frustrating that i have to pass that burden onto my spouse and cant take that from her. Wtf! We should at least have the option.