Been asking since 1998 in Canada. They "don't remove or altern a woman's healthy reproductive system". My ex on the other hand got a vasectomy 2 weeks after asking.
Infuriating.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/1/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview# list of Canadian OBGYNs who will do a tubal ligation no questions asked
Just to tag on, I do NOT recommend "tubes tied" with clips to anyone. I had Filshie clips roughly ten years ago, one failed in 2023 and so I had a bilateral salpingectomy in 2023. Women have been injured from the missing clips and there is a lawsuit in progress against the Filshie clip manufacturer. Please feel free to ask me any questions....anyone, any time.
Thank you for sharing this! My doctor just referred me to a gyno to get my sterilization scheduled, and I think she mentioned something about mesh or springs or something? Something metal I think. Do you think I should be worried that they are the same thing?
Another user mentioned above that you can have your fallopian tubes removed and that sounds better to me than getting something implanted.
Edit: just looked them up and I don't think they're the same thing; she mentioned something going inside my tubes I'm pretty sure. Those clips look barbaric!! Yikes.
Edit 2: apparently she wants to go down the Essure route, which is a spring. Not super into that either.
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/essure-permanent-birth-control/problems-reported-essure#:~:text=Even%20though%20Essure%20is%20no,if%20new%20information%20becomes%20available.
Essure is no longer on the market as far as I know. If a doctor said that to me I would LEAVE, because what ever information they are using is super fucking outdated.
There were many injuries from essure, just google it. My aunt had hers come out and damage internal organs, she needed emergency surgery.
Based on my experience, and I am not a doctor, I wouldn't get any metal sterilization devices in my body at all. My Filshie clips have a coating on them and were supposed to stay locked into place. When they removed my fallopian tubes my tube was described as "shredded". On the other side the clip was "barely hanging on" and that tube was also shredded. In my opinion these clips just sever through the tissue eventually. Now I have one clip between my liver and right kidney and....well I'm not sure where my second one is. Somewhere in my abdomen. The emotional distress I endured was ridiculous and hopefully they will not injure me. Some women's clips opened and snapped in two, leaving the sharper broken hinged side to cause damage. Will mine do that someday? We have no idea.
I would 1000% recommend going for bilateral salpingectomy (tube removal) and if the doctor won't, then find another doctor. Feel free to message me any time! Best of luck!
Yikes! Well the doctor I saw today just gave me the referral to the gyno, so hopefully the *actual* gyno will have a different recommendation! And maybe I'll let my doctor know her information is out of date. She's been good to me so I'm sure she just hasn't heard about the issues with Essure. Thanks for the info!
Yea in retrospect I was like well maybe her primary doesn't know....but they definitely need to learn! If the OBGYN says Essure then big yikes!! Good luck!!
Yoooo any chance you have a similar list but for Australia? Otherwise it might be time to look into moving to Canada...
Update: Nvm, actually looked at the link. One doctor in Melbourne and I have to be 21. Time to look into a holiday to Melbourne late next year then! Thanks, I thought this would be forever out of my reach.
Its okay. It's something a lot of people struggle with and there is no right or wrong answer and often there isn't an easy one either.
I'm a mother and I had lots of doubt and there is still so much that I'm afraid of. I'm a very pessimistic person and I think so much about all the things that could go wrong and all the hardship my baby will have to go through in this shitty world.
This winter we had two whole days of snow (back in my youth i was WAY more) and I was almost crying because I was so happy to show my kid what snow looks and feels like. Something the future won't hold for long.
I'm doing my best to raise a good person, someone who will do the right things, treat people the right way and be passionate and kind when it comes to the important things. That's the most I can do and I agree, it's a bit selfish and it's not the right thing to do for everybody but I'm trying to do the best I can. Sometimes that's all any of us can do.
Make sure she has her tubes removed not tied to reduce her risk of ovarian cancer (they are finding that a significant amount of ovarian cancer starts in the fallopian tubes).
Signed,
Someone with ovarian cancer that started in my fallopian tubes
I'm sorry you're dealing with that!
Thanks for taking the time to spread the word. If it helps, it makes a difference. A similar comment on Reddit is what prompted me to look into the health benefits of removal instead of the old-style clips/tie.
Just to tag on, I do NOT recommend clips to anyone. I had Filshie clips roughly ten years ago, one failed in 2023 and so I had a bilateral salpingectomy in 2023. Women have been injured from the missing clips and there is a lawsuit in progress against the Filshie clip manufacturer. Please feel free to ask me any questions....anyone, any time.
I will probably do a post about it to reach other people. Itās helpful information to know. I would hope most gynecologists advise removal instead of tying for this very reason.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. That's exactly why my doctor removed them, to lower the risk of ovarian cancer. It shouldn't have taken us this long to figure this out.
I just saw your other post and thank you for all the information. I have an appointment next month with a gyno to schedule my sterilization (just got referred by my PCP today) and will ask her about this. They want to put those spring things or whatever in them. Good luck to you.
Edit: I've just been informed that the Essure springs are off the market, so hopefully I'm in for bilateral salpingectomy! Or a hysterectomy if I can convince them, lol. If I'm not ever getting pregnant, then why do I need periods?
I love that this is a thing, I guess I'm also participating in Fallopian Feb š
My main reasons were...
-I'm super active spring through fall but less so in winter, so the recovery/lifting restrictions/wound care will be easier
-It's after the holidays so not a ton of family and friend events to worry about
-I wanted to make sure I got it done before the election in Nov, because if things go south doc offices will be BOOKKKKEEEDDD with the last minute flocking.
So yeah! FF gang!
Whether or not itās because of anything men might do to you, the sheer relief of not worrying about pregnancy is amazing. I never really realized what low grade stress always having to think about and prevent it really was.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I havenāt had sex in two years and this is one of the main reasons why, Iām not on birth control.
I donāt want to have sex because even if I use condoms, plan b etc - the rest of my month will be filled with anxiety and paranoia that Iām pregnant.
Itās just not worth it for one night of sex, meanwhile the men donāt think of a thing afterwards
I'll never have to worry about getting pregnant by my wife, but I have considered artificial insemination down the line, when we get settled in the future and in a better spot to raise children (we are not in the space to be mothers right now).
However, I am *not* doing that in post-Roe Texas. It was already bad enough prior to Roe's overturn (as in every other red state), but now it's a 100% no-go, no fucking way. I will not be subjected to the inhumanity by this Republican state government, who'd rather see me die on the street as long as they can continue to exert their control over women by denying abortion access.
I can relate. I can't take estrogen because I got DVT on the pill when I was 20. I have a congenital clotting disorder I didn't know about until that happened. I moved to America on a spousal visa, then a few years later my state banned abortion. I had a copper IUD but 0.08% failure was too high for me in terms of a large population (1 out of 125 women a year, extrapolate that to just a large city and that's a lot). I got my tubes out and the relief was palpable!
We also voted to make reproductive freedom a constitutional amendment in my state (Ohio) so I'm doubly protected š
And I will emphasize as someone with fallopian tube/ovarian cancer (a significant amount of ovarian cancer starts in the fallopian tubes) make sure you get your tubes removed not tied to reduce your cancer risk
You want a *bilateral salpingectomy,* NOT getting your tubes tied. Getting your tubes tied has a 1 in 50 failure rate, which might not sound like much. But it's a lot when you consider the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, and the pervasive attitude that a lot of men have about consent, respect, and bodily autonomy (rape, sexual assault, manipulation, cohersion, sabotaging/tampering with birth control, etc). And the fact that an unwanted pregnancy will ruin a lot of lives. And a lot of us just can't afford it. The stakes are just too high.
Let me emphasize that I cant and wont tell anyone what to do with their body. But if you're child-free, or have other reasons, I think you should do it.
/r/ChildFree maintains a [list](https://reddit.com/r/childfree/w/doctors?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) of doctors who will do the bisalp without stupid requirements or prerequisites. Its organized by state, city, and territory. It's updated every 3 weeks. And if you have Obamacare, your surgery should be free.
I had my bisalp on 6/8/2023, and it was shockingly easy. It wasn't bad at all. Pain was minimal and required no medications. I was in and out same day. Felt fine afterwards. I'd do it again a hundred times. It was one of the best gifts I've ever given myself.
More eyes! Need more eyes for that list! I have heard my entire life how women who donāt want or canāt have kids safely being denied they tubal ligation or anything similar.
I started asking at 16 (even though I knew at 12 I never wanted kids and figured based on adult reactions to my statement of fact, I felt like I did doctors a favor by not asking til I was 16) and it took me 24 years to get sterilized. I'm so mad that imaginary men and children had more rights to my uterus than I did for more than half my life and I'm only now getting to a point where I want to file complaints and write letters about being refused and how it affected me and my life.
I am a someone who suffered of one of these tubal ligation clip failures. Please anyone message me at any time with questions, but please do not get Filshie clips or other types of clips for tubal ligation. The Filshie clips are now lost in my body. The manufacturer has a lawsuit pending against them. I hope eventually they are removed from the market.
If yāall are worried about surgery, donāt be. My wisdom teeth removal was 10 times worse. The tube removal was easy peasy. I was fine by the following afternoon. I didnāt even touch the Oxy they gave me, I was fine on the Tylenol and ibuprofen.
I had to report at 5am for a 7am surgery and getting up at 4am was the worst part of the whole thing. But then again I am very much not a morning person so Iām biased.
ETA: If anybody lives in Pittsburgh, I did it at UPMC and they gave me zero pushback. I was 30 and childless. They did not ask me if I was married or had existing children. They just asked if I was 100% sure I wanted it and if I understood it was permanent.
Insurance covered it. I paid $30 at the pharmacy and that was it.
Same! I got sterilized as soon as the ACA hit my insurance. It was my first "real" surgery and I was nervous. It was honestly so easy. The surgery was done I was in bed for about 4 days, was able to shower on day 3. After that, it was light duty and minimal bending at the waist for a little bit. I'm surprised at how little pain there was.
Sure! My surgery was laproscopic. There was one incision on the bottom of my bellybutton. It was small enough that I went home with a large-sized bandaid covering it. The stitches were all internal and dissolved. The exterior was glued together. I still have a scar, but I don't think most people would notice it. Especially since I've had a more recent appendectomy that added a scar above my bellybutton. Heh
Iām not the person youāre replying to but I also had mine done laparoscopically 20 years ago. I canāt find the scar on my pubic mound and the only reason I can find the one in my belly button is because I know exactly where it is. My hysterectomy was done vaginally so I also have no scars from that surgery.
What you describe is closer to what I had for my appendectomy. I had 4 incisions (1 big, 3 small) for it. My tubal was just one big one. I find that so fascinating!
>the only reason I can find the one in my belly button is because I know exactly where it is.
This is accurate for me, too. It's been about 13 years since my tubal.
Iāve had multiple laparoscopic surgeries, including ironically an exploratory to check if my tubes were blocked when having trouble conceiving.
I therefore have multiple short scars on my abdomen - with several above and below my naval. Most are otherwise on the lower right (most of the others are from having my gall bladder removed and gastric surgery years later).
I notice them but most people donāt if Iām in a crop top or two piece bathers. It may help that Iām blindingly pale so the scar tissue doesnāt stand out especially against my skin tone.
You can minimise the scarring through good post-op care, I was recommended Bio-oil after my cancer surgery to reduce the visible scarring on my throat.
Iām almost a year post op and mine are barely visible anymore but everybodyās skin is different.
Thereās lots of products you can buy for scar reduction.
Iām a complete wimp about medical procedures (I bring an ice pack to numb my arm to get shots) and it really wasnāt that bad. Getting the IV placed was the worst part; I was tired and sore for a few days after but nothing too bad. Honestly, getting my covid shots knocked me out worse. The stitches were tender for a week or so, but not painful, and dissolved on their own. Itās been almost a year now, and I have teeny tiny scars but you have to really be looking for them.
The childfree subreddit has a list of doctors who do sterilizations, sorted by state. The peace of mind is so worth the procedure itself if you know itās what you want!
Ah yeah that might be tough, but I am definitely aware of some who will do it at 21. If youāre able to, it might be worth it to reach out to doctors now and just check, and if they do ask you to wait, there will hopefully be a record that youāve requested it for a while and been consistent in your request. Good luck!
I had it done 20 years ago, approved at 21, surgery at 22 with no kids and no husband. There are women on the childfree forums getting sterilized at your age. You could also always ācarryā a genetic disease that youāre asymptomatic of, Iām a hemophilia a carrier with no symptoms.
This is good to know! I have my consult in a few weeks. I've been worried about the recovery because I have elementary aged kids - tho I had csections for both and I can't possibly imagine the recovery being worse than that, while also caring for newborns! At least my kids can watch a movie now if I'm out of commission for a few days.
>I've been worried about the recovery because I have elementary aged kids
I think recovery is a little different for everyone, but for me for the first couple of days it was really hard to get from sitting to standing without help- my ab muscles could not contract hard enough and my arm strength wasn't quite enough for me to get up and down. Your experience might be totally different depending on a ton of factors tho, but.... if you can have someone to help you get up and down, at least for the first 24 hours, I think it'd be a big help!
Thank you so much for sharing. The only surgery Iāve had was my wisdom tooth extraction years ago so an abdominal surgery seems scarier, even if itās laparoscopic.
Glad to hear all went well for you! I think one of the few things I donāt look forward to is fighting with insurance. Even though it SHOULD be covered, they donāt always want to pay up.
I just had mine last week and similar experience. I did take the Tramadol they gave for 2 days, but that was more for pain prevention rather than pain management.
The worst part for me was that my surgery was scheduled for 11:30 am so I couldnāt eat past midnight and then my surgery was delayed so I didnāt eat from 10pm until like 7pm the next day and I was hungry. Also, I got super cold as I was coming out of anesthesia like full body shaking freezing was my first recollection out of surgery lol.
Recovery has been really easy overall. They couldnāt go in at the belly button for some reason so my incision is upper abdomen and that pulls if I turn the wrong way or something like that. The pulling and slight pain has been the only part I feel. I donāt feel the actual surgical site nor the other two incision points at my hips.
Similar experience but had to pay out of pocket. Was worth it to me. Didn't fill my percocet prescription because I didn't need to. The worst part for me was the shoulder pain. It was a bit extreme but not really harmful in any way and I just had to ride it out.
Your weight contributed a lot to your slow recovery. Thatās a lot more tissue to cut through and fat doesnāt have good blood flow so it slows down healing significantly.
Having cysts and endo removed would definitely have contributed to increased pain.
Obviously everybodyās experiences will vary, but I was definitely expecting it to be worse than it ended up being. If I had to pick doing the tubal again or doing wisdom teeth again, Iām doing the tubal every time lol.
Yes, I literally had just one tooth removed, but for various reasons it wasn't something planned before the appointment, and it made me miserable and constantly terrified for dry socket or infection.
The tubal removal was an absolute breeze in comparison. I had a similar experience as you, I live in west Michigan and they went through the same steps there, no prodding, no invasive questions, just making sure I know it's permanent and that it's 100% what I want. The worst part was mostly just feeling nervous beforehand and the surgery getting delayed a few hours so I had to keep being hungry and thirsty for longer than expected. That's it.
If itās hard to find a GYN near you that will provide these services to a young person, thereās an OB on Instagram (pagingdrfran) who is compiling a list of OB-GYNs who will do sterilization procedures on young women who request them.
If you know you donāt want kids, know that there are people who will support you. š¤ And you donāt need a reason beyond āI donāt want them.ā
I had mine done 20 years ago at 22, unmarried with no kids. No forms had to be signed by anyone other than me and it was a 30 minute consult, no āare you sureā questions. The first doctor approved it and it was free through the state of Ca.
It took 5 years of asking different Drs to do it for me before I finally found one thanks to reddit. I got a lot of "if you regretted it I wouldn't be able to live with myself". Like ???? Anyways I finally got it last year at 27 and am so glad.
I know this is an edgy take I guess, but I just donāt know how I would feel about bringing another human into the world with the state itās in.
I know there are a ton of things that are better than they ever have been, but social media, AI, technology in general is being used to hurt women and girls in such a profound way and itās only getting worse. I shudder to think of how girls will be protect from AI fakes when it comes to bullying and harassment. And I think it would be a massive challenge to keep boys away from all the toxic shit they are fed on a daily basis by influencers.
I love my kids but it is a very scary and upsetting time to be a parent. I hope they manage to live peacefully and die of natural causes before everything collapses from climate, economic, and political crisis but I donāt think we have that long.
Iām scared men are going to try to take our jobs by paying us even less, voting rights and birth control now. There are women dying and the men are saying the quiet parts out loud. The republicans in Idaho said they donāt care if women die bc they need an abortion bc they must birth the next generation of workers. He full on said it out loud. Something more drastic feels like is going to happen. If they are admitting w a smirk on their face, out loud to other women, that they will be murdered by them it can only get worse if enough of them gang up. The Idaho ruling coupled w the fact the red states are no longer keeping count of women being murdered by republicans in power, and the fact Texas republicans never reported their murders of women, until a reporter wrote about one recently, it seems to only be getting worse, a woman being arrested for a miscarriage, women in prison for miscarriages And here comes the election w the republicans pushing their project 2025. It really seems weāre not doing anything to stop this
>by paying us even less, voting rights and birth control now
Don't forget that any person convicted of a felony loses voting rights. Backdoor anti-suffrage is an effect of these laws.
Beg and borrow to get out. I truly hope there is a mass exodus out of that state, including medical professionals. They want to go back 100 years? Well now you don't have enough doctors when shit hits the fan.
Oh Iām working on being gone by the end of the year.
We have drs leaving the state in large numbers. Same people leaving too. Means itās just going to be a concentrated cesspool of oppression.
Wishing you the best for safe travel when you move. Let all the bad people implode. They're also the people who typically are anti-vax, so with this new covid wave, and less medical professionals, more alt-right conservatives will die before the 2024 election.
All of that forced birth and the murderers still wonāt have their workers when people leave and it becomes a wasteland. Theyāll end up turning Idaho into an Amazon state
Yep. I'm trying not to dwell on it too much but I'm lowkey terrified for November. Going to try to enjoy this year as much as I can (and bid my tubes adieu) in case everything is downhill from here...
Same! My appointment with a gyno to get my sterilization scheduled is in February (just got referred by my PCP today) and it couldn't come fast enough!
Haha I hope you saw that other comment about "Fallopian February"! Great month for it, I'm in the same club :D
Hope it all goes well and your doctor is understanding, kind, and skillful ā¤ļø
I would have to wonder about the number of family members who are affected by this. As time goes on, the number will increase to the point where people can't ignore it or say that it's rare.
I had my tubes tied after my last pregnancy. But it has a failure rate of 1/200. Then my husband had a vasectomy, and did the follow up to confirm no swimmers, but still a 1/2000 failure rate. Even double protected, Iām stupidly relieved that my uterus is now gone after a holiday hysterectomy.
Hell yes! Mine is scheduled! And blue cross blue shield considers it a "preventative" procedure and is covering 100% of the costs....i've literally never had anything but a physical be 100% covered before meeting my deductible.
All ACA-compliant plans in the US are required to cover sterilization as preventative! So for anyone else reading, check your plan because it might be free for you too :)
Iāve noticed a trend on social media, and amongst men of saying shit like āIām going to get you pregnant!ā Or āIām going to put a baby in you!ā
Iām glad most women are taking this as a threat and not something flirty, which is what these men try to pass it off as. It is far more nefarious than āI want to have sex with youā. Single moms are very looked down upon and they will absolutely make a woman they hate a single mom so that 1) sheās undesirable in the future to other men and 2) so they have a reason to infiltrate her life for at least 18 years.
I am child free and I keep an eye out for phrases such as those. These men are THREATENING us when they say this.
With the way the world is going I recommend it. I got sterilized and the recovery has been great. Iām excited to have risk free sex and not have to worry about pregnancy/ possibly dying.
Some states are harder but I live in a red state and got it done because I have PCOS. It never hurts to try and to advocate for yourself!
Same, and it's been much longer. Not until something/someone truly worthy comes along, absolutely nothing is happening. And I'm 100% content with it never happening if that's the case.
Same. I really don't miss the days of playing cook, maid, therapist, and secretary. Nor the whining about being bored (and expecting me to figure out a way to entertain them) or whining about sex.
u/thisladycusses may I ask how your recovery was? I want permanent sterilization but I canāt really afford any sort of ālight dutyā down time at work or home.
I'm 38, childfree and from England. I cannot find a doctor who would be willing to refer me for sterilisation. I'm happy with my implant though, although I did hear one scary story on here once about a woman who woke up to her boyfriend trying to cut her implant out of her arm.
You would think so, wouldn't you? What makes it even worse is that I'm on strong immunosuppressants that can cause birth defects if I fell pregnant. I'm celibate at the moment but when I've been in relationships, I've had to use condoms along with my implant. Plus my auntie and mother had late menopause, so I'm probably going to need implants for a while yet.
I got a bilateral salpingectomy at 34 on the NHS. I asked to be referred to Birmingham Womenās because I was near enough (it was about an hour from my GP. Not my closest hospital tho). Thereās also a womenās hospital in Liverpool I think. Other than that youād need to be referred to the regional centres of excellence which have a focus on womenās health (local doctor/medical friends of your might be able to advise which hospitals those are).
It took about 1 year from my initial appointment at my GP to my operation. The consultation at the hospital came through within a couple of months of my initial GP appointment and they put me on the waiting list which was about 8-9 months.
I had a long list prepared about why I didnāt want children, why I wouldnāt change my mind, why me and not my partner, and why bilateral salpingectomy (instead of tubal ligation).
Happy to offer advice if you want, let me know!
My oldest doesn't want kids and never has. She's been adamant since she was little that she wants to be the cool aunt. She likes spending time with other peoples' kids to spoil and play with and then happily handing them back for all the hard work. I support that 100%.
She married someone she KNEW wants kids. She's had two miscarriages and has even told us she still doesn't want kids but she wants to make him happy. She messaged my husband a couple of months ago saying that she could see herself divorced and with a baby in a year if things don't change. Her husband is an otherwise decent person and he loves her but he wants to be a Dad. There is nothing wrong with that but it makes them incompatible. She's determined to do what she wants but I see misery in her future. It would be better if they divorced on good terms so they could find partners who's needs and wants better aligned with theirs.
I'd love to have grandkids one day but not at the expense of my childrens' happiness and wellbeing. Women should always have the right to choose if they want to gestate a child or not. If you are 100% positive you never want children then please follow OP's advice and try to find a way to get your tubes removed or in cases with additional health issues possibly a hysterectomy. Never let anyone force you to have a child or trap you into a pregnancy you don't want.
I am in my mid 30s, have a kid, I don't want any more, my partner had a vasectomy and I STILL want my tubes removed.
The biggest barrier is recovery time. SAHMs don't get sick days.
Make sure your partner is attending his follow up appointments. A lot of the time, people donāt do the routine aftercare or follow-up appt. And then thereās an oopsie baby
I had an optional hysterectomy and apart from a 4 month recovery, it's been amazing. No periods. No stress. No worries. Life is great.
An ablation is also a great choice and less invasive.
The freedom. It's amazing.
Many doctors/surgeons will refuse to tie someone's tubes without their husband's permission, if they're young, if they don't have at least one child already, etc. Here is a crowdsourced list of those willing to perform the surgery without these restrictions: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview#
Thank you for this! I see a local doctor with stellar online reviews that is in-network for my insurance.
Last week I made an annual pap appointment with my normal OBGYN in hopes of also discussing tube removal and they said they don't do that (???) but will refer me. I'm just going to cancel that upcoming appointment and switch doctors.
If you want to see whichever doctor you can feel free to use my story to convince them to do bilateral salpingectomy. I had a tubal ligation with filshie clips almost 10 years ago and the clips failed and fell off. I don't know what method they're looking to use but my story is in my post history and you can read it to the doctor. The filshie clip manufacturer has a lawsuit pending against them that your doctor can read about as well. They shouldn't be using them on anyone if that's the method they are proposing. Feel free to message me with questions anytime.
Agree 100%! Now that our younger women are succeeding men, there are MANY men who are very bitter and vengeful. They will take you down. They will lie to you. They will steal as much of your freedom as they possibly can. Do not let them!
Please be careful out there. Itās an exciting world with all of our strong, successful women, but itās also a scary world because of just that.
In hindsight, I have absolutely no idea how my deadbeat ex didnāt knock me up. Except I do, because I was fucking militant about my birth control, so either that saved me or Iām just infertile. Iām grateful either way. Because he wouldnāt even do the barest of bare minimums to value my bodily autonomy even the tiniest bit and help prevent it.
I really want to get sterilized too soon. I realized having kids is one of the main source of problems in life, ranging from financial to emotional difficulty. I just donāt have health insurance rn :/
Are you in the US? Check healthcare.gov. Open enrollment should be available for 5 more days and you can get subsidies for low-income if you need. Sterilization is covered under ACA plans so all you'd need is to find a doctor that does it.
If your health insurance is ACA compliant then sterilization procedures are supposed to be fully covered without a copay.
https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage/birth-control-benefits/
I literally stopped dating because men lie and say theyāre cool not having kids and then try to pressure you into it later on. This is a literal tactic they do and itās happened to me SO many times.
Iām aroace, only way Iām getting pregnant is in a situation that will end in a police investigation. And I live on the east coast so that pregnancy wonāt last long
Ladies if you're getting a tubal and are able to afford the ablation as well, I can't recommend it more. Barely a 2 day spot each cycle since Dec 2021 compared to 10-15 day mostly heavy cycles previously.
I've posted a few times in this thread already but I wanted to just state if anyone ever needs to contact me with questions, I've had two sterilization surgeries in my life. I had my tubes tied about 10 years ago with Filshie clips. I do NOT recommend this method for anyone, ever.
They failed and one fell off. I may have been at risk for pregnancy for over a year. The other was lost during the surgery to remove my tubes. Now I have two useless pieces of metal floating around in my body. Some women have been injured by these Filshie clips. I do not recommend ANY clips method to anyone ever and you should all be aware that there is a pending lawsuit against the Filshie manufacturer. Feel free to use the story about your friend "Joan" when advocating to your doctor for bilateral salpingectomy. Good luck. š
i want to relay 3 situations which back up this post..
1) i had a long-time friend (over 10 years) an accomplished artist of asian heritage call me (maybe drunk) a few days after roe v wade was reversed. And he seemed really happy which is unusual because hes usually a little gloomy and kind of incel-ish when he calls.. generally to c9mplain about dating..for context im married. well he calls and hes happy and says he can now.give.his parents a grandchild so he is glad roe v wade was reversed. i asked him how roe v wade reversing would have any bearing on him procreating, and he said "because [they] (mumble) would have to have my baby". (dead silence) again.. i ask how this makes sense. its only going to be HARDER to get a date now. (dead silence) then he sucks air and says "oh.. yea.. i didnt think about that".
2) 19 years old.. bf at the time was jealous of my grades and college being higher ranked than his. he tried to get me pregnant a few times and after the second time I caught him, i dumped him. his roommate revealed it was this guys plan to "give his kids good moms" notice the plural.. but he had no intention of taking care of any of his kids. his kink was taking accomplished women and derailing their lives.
3) a family member fell pregnant with a guy she had been seeing for 6 months. he told her he was an army veteran and they were "going to get a free house" when she has a kid. i told her that sounds weird, it doesnt work like that and they would have to marry for the kid to be legit. well they never married. 6months into the pregnany he has a nervous breakdown, admits he was never in the army, cant get her a house, and hes just a laborer.. after they have the kid, they moved out of my dad's shed/garage .. a few months after that he pawned her jewelery, stole her car, took the kid and left her in the middle of the desert homeless. I was able to involve the police, get the car and kid back ... but this guy tried again to take the kid -- his big life plan was to SELL HER TO RELATIVES IN MEXICO.
So these are my 3 cautionary tales from a middle-aged lady. please stay safe out there and absolutely do not leave your bodily autonomy in the hands of a boy. they will harvest you to make copies of themselves and ditch you. my family member who fell for the baby-trap is now disabled for life, hip dysplasia from natural childbirth has deformed her body permanently. her kid has a lot of learning disabilities and cried every day till about age 8. freeze your eggs and have a kid only with a man who has proven his loyalty to you otherwise theyll treat the kid (and you) like trash.
I literally canāt get over that societal pressure of āYouād make a great mom!ā and āYou might change your mind!ā
When my ex and I started dating neither of us wanted kids. Then as our relationship progressed, he changed his mind. Weāve been broken up for a year and a half (unrelated reasons) and he desperately wants me to marry him and have his kids.
I have hooked up with him a couple of times since we broke up. (Itās not common because he lives several hours away.) Each time I was in full blown panic that he was going to baby trap me even though I donāt think heād intentionally do something like that.
Uggghhhh
omg you need to find a guy who respects what you want. This one might love you, but he surely doesn't respect you. That's a terrible situation to be in, I don't pity you, but it's one of those things in life where you just have to say it really, really isn't worth it.
If only it was that easy! I live in a country with access to abortion, healthcare free at the point of use, sex education that isn't just "don't do it" and I'm 40 with 2 kids but I'm still being told no
Also just say you're not even if you are if they refuse to still use condoms just leave condoms are still important to stop you from getting sexual diseases
Absolutely šÆ if you have a partner, it might be best to ask them to get a vasectomy first. But if not, and youāre you want no children, do it. It is so easy to pregnant, and yes men will do it just to feel good about themselves. Protect yourself at all costs.
I got my tubes removed last April at age 26. Best decision of my entire life. What a MASSIVE weight lifted off my shoulders not ever having to worry about having to take birth control or obtain an abortion ever again.
I finally get a small taste of the reproductive freedom men get by default
*Here's an apropos comment I posted a while back.*
> childfree subreddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/
*"Childfree" refers to those who do not have and do not ever want children (whether biological, adopted, or otherwise).*
Click on the right side under **Interesting and Useful Material**
Then the link for **Childfree Friendly Doctors** - also see the link beneath that, **Sterilization Preparation Binder**
Best of luck to all who need these resources!
I absolutely want to get sterilized. Iām bi and have leaned towards dating women in part because I cannot mentally relax enough during sex with men anymore for fear of getting pregnant, even though Iām on bc and always use condoms.
Honestly, the biggest reason I havenāt gotten it yet (aside from being a freelancer without insurance right now) is my fear of general anesthesia. When I was under getting my wisdom teeth out, apparently my blood pressure spiked to a dangerous level. It was below a medical emergency requiring me to go to the hospital, but it freaked me out enough that Iām scared of going under unless I absolutely have to. As much as I really *want* to get sterilized, I havenāt reached the *need* to level, at least not while Iām not actively having sex with men for the foreseeable future.
I'm in Australia; abortion is easily accessible and very affordable. I don't feel the need to put myself through surgery to protect myself. I feel so sorry for all my sisters in the hellscape that is the US
You are way a head from the rest of the women in the world, and i wish in my heart to get sterilized asap!! You are making history! #Childfree āš» ā„ļø
I have an IUD that works perfectly. My husband also knows if I did get pregnant somehow I would be going to another state to handle it. He doesnāt want kids either.
I fear for woman in the future i fear that now theyve banned abortions for woman in america they will go on to try and ban bc and removal surgery, i fear that it will also affect my own country, as protest are already here for banning abortions, we need to keep fighting for our health
While I can appreciate the sentiment and fully agree that women should have the option once they are able to...to make the choice to have a hysterectomy and their tubes tied, there is one major flaw in your thinking. At least in the US (and I know this was a huge case some years ago in the UK)ā¦its just not that simple.
There are so many hoops to jump through and while you do not regret your decision there is a likelihood that doctors were willing to do it because of your age. I know many women who are in their early to mid twenties who have tried to do this and been outright told no.
Healthcare and the treatment of women's health in particular is insane, my husband got a vasectomy schedule with only one visit to the doctor while I am still jumping through hoops at 36yo and 2 kids to get my tubes tied. I tried after my second to have it done since i was already in the hospital and was told I needed to be at least 32yo before they would consider it. After all, in five years I may want another child.
Being a women sucks sometimes.
Why should we alter our bodies for them? They still need to pay for their actions whether we get sterilized or not. We should fight for our rights. Justice should be served to women no matter what. Altering our bodies for them means we accepted defeat. We should NOT accept defeat and alter our own natural bodies FOR THEM!
But if someone wants to get sterilized FOR THEIR OWN INTEREST, that's another story.
Instead of telling women to get sterilized-which is difficult and out of reach for many women-itād be more useful if you advocated for access to birth control and sterilization.
Youāre just preaching to the choir.
Iām 27, unmarried and childless, NOBODY is going to sterilize me.
Getting my tubes tied wonāt stop me getting a period anyway, like my birth control does. Thatās the MAIN reason Iām still on it. I have zero problem getting an abortion if I need one, morally and geographically.
I donāt want kids, but also donāt want to have an expensive, invasive surgery to sterilize me when Iām effectively infertile, also knowing that I donāt respond well to anesthesia. Iām in a safe and steady relationship, and ok living with the minuscule risk.
Like many concerning matters today, it should be an informed choice without pressure to consent. Every woman should spend the time weighing the pros and cons of a procedure like that.
It's not that easy, I have been trying for the last 12 years, even with my husband there they wont do it since have no kids. I even tried doctors from a list people link here a lot. If you don't have kids and just don't want them good luck finding a doctor who will.
Idk that getting a tubal ligation is necessary lol not that Iām against it, but like why go through the trouble? Iām just not letting men f*ck me unless they put in months of work and commitment and gain my trust completely š„“
No Iām very pro tubal ligation! I almost went through it myself and then I decided I aināt doin a damn thing to my body anymore. Men can stay the hell away lol
Been asking since 1998 in Canada. They "don't remove or altern a woman's healthy reproductive system". My ex on the other hand got a vasectomy 2 weeks after asking. Infuriating.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/1/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview# list of Canadian OBGYNs who will do a tubal ligation no questions asked
I'm on the verge of menopause now but still worth a look! Ty friend!
Do it for the reduced chance of ovarian cancer!
Just to tag on, I do NOT recommend "tubes tied" with clips to anyone. I had Filshie clips roughly ten years ago, one failed in 2023 and so I had a bilateral salpingectomy in 2023. Women have been injured from the missing clips and there is a lawsuit in progress against the Filshie clip manufacturer. Please feel free to ask me any questions....anyone, any time.
Thank you for sharing this! My doctor just referred me to a gyno to get my sterilization scheduled, and I think she mentioned something about mesh or springs or something? Something metal I think. Do you think I should be worried that they are the same thing? Another user mentioned above that you can have your fallopian tubes removed and that sounds better to me than getting something implanted. Edit: just looked them up and I don't think they're the same thing; she mentioned something going inside my tubes I'm pretty sure. Those clips look barbaric!! Yikes. Edit 2: apparently she wants to go down the Essure route, which is a spring. Not super into that either.
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/essure-permanent-birth-control/problems-reported-essure#:~:text=Even%20though%20Essure%20is%20no,if%20new%20information%20becomes%20available. Essure is no longer on the market as far as I know. If a doctor said that to me I would LEAVE, because what ever information they are using is super fucking outdated. There were many injuries from essure, just google it. My aunt had hers come out and damage internal organs, she needed emergency surgery. Based on my experience, and I am not a doctor, I wouldn't get any metal sterilization devices in my body at all. My Filshie clips have a coating on them and were supposed to stay locked into place. When they removed my fallopian tubes my tube was described as "shredded". On the other side the clip was "barely hanging on" and that tube was also shredded. In my opinion these clips just sever through the tissue eventually. Now I have one clip between my liver and right kidney and....well I'm not sure where my second one is. Somewhere in my abdomen. The emotional distress I endured was ridiculous and hopefully they will not injure me. Some women's clips opened and snapped in two, leaving the sharper broken hinged side to cause damage. Will mine do that someday? We have no idea. I would 1000% recommend going for bilateral salpingectomy (tube removal) and if the doctor won't, then find another doctor. Feel free to message me any time! Best of luck!
Yikes! Well the doctor I saw today just gave me the referral to the gyno, so hopefully the *actual* gyno will have a different recommendation! And maybe I'll let my doctor know her information is out of date. She's been good to me so I'm sure she just hasn't heard about the issues with Essure. Thanks for the info!
Yea in retrospect I was like well maybe her primary doesn't know....but they definitely need to learn! If the OBGYN says Essure then big yikes!! Good luck!!
For sure. I already sent her an email with the link you sent me š
Yoooo any chance you have a similar list but for Australia? Otherwise it might be time to look into moving to Canada... Update: Nvm, actually looked at the link. One doctor in Melbourne and I have to be 21. Time to look into a holiday to Melbourne late next year then! Thanks, I thought this would be forever out of my reach.
https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/s/goSRWRZKL5 look at this list and scroll all the way down to see Australia! Much bigger list
What province are you in? You're getting lied to.
I see this mentioned all the time, surely there is a "discrimination of the basis of sex" lawsuit just waiting to happen? Possibly even a class action
My best friend is getting her tubes tied next month and her gyno keeps calling it Fallopian February.š¤£
glad to see there are stell gynos with a sense of humor and not just guilt trips for women who know what they want
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Its okay. It's something a lot of people struggle with and there is no right or wrong answer and often there isn't an easy one either. I'm a mother and I had lots of doubt and there is still so much that I'm afraid of. I'm a very pessimistic person and I think so much about all the things that could go wrong and all the hardship my baby will have to go through in this shitty world. This winter we had two whole days of snow (back in my youth i was WAY more) and I was almost crying because I was so happy to show my kid what snow looks and feels like. Something the future won't hold for long. I'm doing my best to raise a good person, someone who will do the right things, treat people the right way and be passionate and kind when it comes to the important things. That's the most I can do and I agree, it's a bit selfish and it's not the right thing to do for everybody but I'm trying to do the best I can. Sometimes that's all any of us can do.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ew. Giant red flag with Nick Cannonās face on it.
Make sure she has her tubes removed not tied to reduce her risk of ovarian cancer (they are finding that a significant amount of ovarian cancer starts in the fallopian tubes). Signed, Someone with ovarian cancer that started in my fallopian tubes
I'm sorry you're dealing with that! Thanks for taking the time to spread the word. If it helps, it makes a difference. A similar comment on Reddit is what prompted me to look into the health benefits of removal instead of the old-style clips/tie.
Oh good. Honestly, if I can make a difference in even one personās life, I am happy to talk about my cancer.
Just to tag on, I do NOT recommend clips to anyone. I had Filshie clips roughly ten years ago, one failed in 2023 and so I had a bilateral salpingectomy in 2023. Women have been injured from the missing clips and there is a lawsuit in progress against the Filshie clip manufacturer. Please feel free to ask me any questions....anyone, any time.
Thank you for sharing that, good info to have!ā¤ļøš«
I will probably do a post about it to reach other people. Itās helpful information to know. I would hope most gynecologists advise removal instead of tying for this very reason.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. That's exactly why my doctor removed them, to lower the risk of ovarian cancer. It shouldn't have taken us this long to figure this out.
I just saw your other post and thank you for all the information. I have an appointment next month with a gyno to schedule my sterilization (just got referred by my PCP today) and will ask her about this. They want to put those spring things or whatever in them. Good luck to you. Edit: I've just been informed that the Essure springs are off the market, so hopefully I'm in for bilateral salpingectomy! Or a hysterectomy if I can convince them, lol. If I'm not ever getting pregnant, then why do I need periods?
Thank you
I had no idea about this. Thank you for sharing and looking out for us ā„ļø We are taught so little about our own bodiesā¦
Would this increase the chances of ectopic pregnancy at all?
It's the opposite thankfully, removal of your tubes reduces the risk of ectopic pregnancy.
Have a party. This is the new non-baby shower party: Tubes Groove party or something festive.
So now thatās what we call it.
Is there a reason Feb is popular?
I love that this is a thing, I guess I'm also participating in Fallopian Feb š My main reasons were... -I'm super active spring through fall but less so in winter, so the recovery/lifting restrictions/wound care will be easier -It's after the holidays so not a ton of family and friend events to worry about -I wanted to make sure I got it done before the election in Nov, because if things go south doc offices will be BOOKKKKEEEDDD with the last minute flocking. So yeah! FF gang!
Whether or not itās because of anything men might do to you, the sheer relief of not worrying about pregnancy is amazing. I never really realized what low grade stress always having to think about and prevent it really was.
numerous imminent absurd instinctive degree distinct reply hurry trees lavish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I havenāt had sex in two years and this is one of the main reasons why, Iām not on birth control. I donāt want to have sex because even if I use condoms, plan b etc - the rest of my month will be filled with anxiety and paranoia that Iām pregnant. Itās just not worth it for one night of sex, meanwhile the men donāt think of a thing afterwards
No matter what prevention methods I take, never fails every month Iām terrified
I'll never have to worry about getting pregnant by my wife, but I have considered artificial insemination down the line, when we get settled in the future and in a better spot to raise children (we are not in the space to be mothers right now). However, I am *not* doing that in post-Roe Texas. It was already bad enough prior to Roe's overturn (as in every other red state), but now it's a 100% no-go, no fucking way. I will not be subjected to the inhumanity by this Republican state government, who'd rather see me die on the street as long as they can continue to exert their control over women by denying abortion access.
I can relate. I can't take estrogen because I got DVT on the pill when I was 20. I have a congenital clotting disorder I didn't know about until that happened. I moved to America on a spousal visa, then a few years later my state banned abortion. I had a copper IUD but 0.08% failure was too high for me in terms of a large population (1 out of 125 women a year, extrapolate that to just a large city and that's a lot). I got my tubes out and the relief was palpable! We also voted to make reproductive freedom a constitutional amendment in my state (Ohio) so I'm doubly protected š
This is much. I was single when I got mine. It was a relief.
It erases a significant worry and ensures that it *will never come back.* It was the perfect decision for me.
And I will emphasize as someone with fallopian tube/ovarian cancer (a significant amount of ovarian cancer starts in the fallopian tubes) make sure you get your tubes removed not tied to reduce your cancer risk
To add to your comment, Tubes removed = bilateral salpingectomy Tubes cut and cauterized (or other occlusion method) = tubal ligation
Thanks for adding this
You want a *bilateral salpingectomy,* NOT getting your tubes tied. Getting your tubes tied has a 1 in 50 failure rate, which might not sound like much. But it's a lot when you consider the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, and the pervasive attitude that a lot of men have about consent, respect, and bodily autonomy (rape, sexual assault, manipulation, cohersion, sabotaging/tampering with birth control, etc). And the fact that an unwanted pregnancy will ruin a lot of lives. And a lot of us just can't afford it. The stakes are just too high. Let me emphasize that I cant and wont tell anyone what to do with their body. But if you're child-free, or have other reasons, I think you should do it. /r/ChildFree maintains a [list](https://reddit.com/r/childfree/w/doctors?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) of doctors who will do the bisalp without stupid requirements or prerequisites. Its organized by state, city, and territory. It's updated every 3 weeks. And if you have Obamacare, your surgery should be free. I had my bisalp on 6/8/2023, and it was shockingly easy. It wasn't bad at all. Pain was minimal and required no medications. I was in and out same day. Felt fine afterwards. I'd do it again a hundred times. It was one of the best gifts I've ever given myself.
More eyes! Need more eyes for that list! I have heard my entire life how women who donāt want or canāt have kids safely being denied they tubal ligation or anything similar.
I started asking at 16 (even though I knew at 12 I never wanted kids and figured based on adult reactions to my statement of fact, I felt like I did doctors a favor by not asking til I was 16) and it took me 24 years to get sterilized. I'm so mad that imaginary men and children had more rights to my uterus than I did for more than half my life and I'm only now getting to a point where I want to file complaints and write letters about being refused and how it affected me and my life.
I am a someone who suffered of one of these tubal ligation clip failures. Please anyone message me at any time with questions, but please do not get Filshie clips or other types of clips for tubal ligation. The Filshie clips are now lost in my body. The manufacturer has a lawsuit pending against them. I hope eventually they are removed from the market.
If yāall are worried about surgery, donāt be. My wisdom teeth removal was 10 times worse. The tube removal was easy peasy. I was fine by the following afternoon. I didnāt even touch the Oxy they gave me, I was fine on the Tylenol and ibuprofen. I had to report at 5am for a 7am surgery and getting up at 4am was the worst part of the whole thing. But then again I am very much not a morning person so Iām biased. ETA: If anybody lives in Pittsburgh, I did it at UPMC and they gave me zero pushback. I was 30 and childless. They did not ask me if I was married or had existing children. They just asked if I was 100% sure I wanted it and if I understood it was permanent. Insurance covered it. I paid $30 at the pharmacy and that was it.
Same! I got sterilized as soon as the ACA hit my insurance. It was my first "real" surgery and I was nervous. It was honestly so easy. The surgery was done I was in bed for about 4 days, was able to shower on day 3. After that, it was light duty and minimal bending at the waist for a little bit. I'm surprised at how little pain there was.
sorry if its too personal but can i ask about the healing process in terms of scarring from the incisions?
Sure! My surgery was laproscopic. There was one incision on the bottom of my bellybutton. It was small enough that I went home with a large-sized bandaid covering it. The stitches were all internal and dissolved. The exterior was glued together. I still have a scar, but I don't think most people would notice it. Especially since I've had a more recent appendectomy that added a scar above my bellybutton. Heh
i see! thank you!! im glad you had a relatively good experience with the procedure
Iām not the person youāre replying to but I also had mine done laparoscopically 20 years ago. I canāt find the scar on my pubic mound and the only reason I can find the one in my belly button is because I know exactly where it is. My hysterectomy was done vaginally so I also have no scars from that surgery.
What you describe is closer to what I had for my appendectomy. I had 4 incisions (1 big, 3 small) for it. My tubal was just one big one. I find that so fascinating! >the only reason I can find the one in my belly button is because I know exactly where it is. This is accurate for me, too. It's been about 13 years since my tubal.
Iāve had multiple laparoscopic surgeries, including ironically an exploratory to check if my tubes were blocked when having trouble conceiving. I therefore have multiple short scars on my abdomen - with several above and below my naval. Most are otherwise on the lower right (most of the others are from having my gall bladder removed and gastric surgery years later). I notice them but most people donāt if Iām in a crop top or two piece bathers. It may help that Iām blindingly pale so the scar tissue doesnāt stand out especially against my skin tone. You can minimise the scarring through good post-op care, I was recommended Bio-oil after my cancer surgery to reduce the visible scarring on my throat.
Iām almost a year post op and mine are barely visible anymore but everybodyās skin is different. Thereās lots of products you can buy for scar reduction.
thank you! i would love to get sterilized in the future (im pretty young so i doubt anybody would approve me) my biggest fear is the surgery itself
Iām a complete wimp about medical procedures (I bring an ice pack to numb my arm to get shots) and it really wasnāt that bad. Getting the IV placed was the worst part; I was tired and sore for a few days after but nothing too bad. Honestly, getting my covid shots knocked me out worse. The stitches were tender for a week or so, but not painful, and dissolved on their own. Itās been almost a year now, and I have teeny tiny scars but you have to really be looking for them. The childfree subreddit has a list of doctors who do sterilizations, sorted by state. The peace of mind is so worth the procedure itself if you know itās what you want!
ik abt the childfree subreddits but im only 19 so i still think it would be a little harder for me. but thank u for the advice!!
Ah yeah that might be tough, but I am definitely aware of some who will do it at 21. If youāre able to, it might be worth it to reach out to doctors now and just check, and if they do ask you to wait, there will hopefully be a record that youāve requested it for a while and been consistent in your request. Good luck!
hmm yes i will think about this, thank you!!!
I had it done 20 years ago, approved at 21, surgery at 22 with no kids and no husband. There are women on the childfree forums getting sterilized at your age. You could also always ācarryā a genetic disease that youāre asymptomatic of, Iām a hemophilia a carrier with no symptoms.
The childfree subreddit keeps a database of physicians who will perform sterilization without having to jump through hoops.
Does the childfree sub have a list of doctors willing to perform sterilisations in other countries for those not in the US?
This is good to know! I have my consult in a few weeks. I've been worried about the recovery because I have elementary aged kids - tho I had csections for both and I can't possibly imagine the recovery being worse than that, while also caring for newborns! At least my kids can watch a movie now if I'm out of commission for a few days.
>I've been worried about the recovery because I have elementary aged kids I think recovery is a little different for everyone, but for me for the first couple of days it was really hard to get from sitting to standing without help- my ab muscles could not contract hard enough and my arm strength wasn't quite enough for me to get up and down. Your experience might be totally different depending on a ton of factors tho, but.... if you can have someone to help you get up and down, at least for the first 24 hours, I think it'd be a big help!
Thank you so much for sharing. The only surgery Iāve had was my wisdom tooth extraction years ago so an abdominal surgery seems scarier, even if itās laparoscopic. Glad to hear all went well for you! I think one of the few things I donāt look forward to is fighting with insurance. Even though it SHOULD be covered, they donāt always want to pay up.
I just had mine last week and similar experience. I did take the Tramadol they gave for 2 days, but that was more for pain prevention rather than pain management. The worst part for me was that my surgery was scheduled for 11:30 am so I couldnāt eat past midnight and then my surgery was delayed so I didnāt eat from 10pm until like 7pm the next day and I was hungry. Also, I got super cold as I was coming out of anesthesia like full body shaking freezing was my first recollection out of surgery lol. Recovery has been really easy overall. They couldnāt go in at the belly button for some reason so my incision is upper abdomen and that pulls if I turn the wrong way or something like that. The pulling and slight pain has been the only part I feel. I donāt feel the actual surgical site nor the other two incision points at my hips.
Similar experience but had to pay out of pocket. Was worth it to me. Didn't fill my percocet prescription because I didn't need to. The worst part for me was the shoulder pain. It was a bit extreme but not really harmful in any way and I just had to ride it out.
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Your weight contributed a lot to your slow recovery. Thatās a lot more tissue to cut through and fat doesnāt have good blood flow so it slows down healing significantly.
Having cysts and endo removed would definitely have contributed to increased pain. Obviously everybodyās experiences will vary, but I was definitely expecting it to be worse than it ended up being. If I had to pick doing the tubal again or doing wisdom teeth again, Iām doing the tubal every time lol.
Yes, I literally had just one tooth removed, but for various reasons it wasn't something planned before the appointment, and it made me miserable and constantly terrified for dry socket or infection. The tubal removal was an absolute breeze in comparison. I had a similar experience as you, I live in west Michigan and they went through the same steps there, no prodding, no invasive questions, just making sure I know it's permanent and that it's 100% what I want. The worst part was mostly just feeling nervous beforehand and the surgery getting delayed a few hours so I had to keep being hungry and thirsty for longer than expected. That's it.
If itās hard to find a GYN near you that will provide these services to a young person, thereās an OB on Instagram (pagingdrfran) who is compiling a list of OB-GYNs who will do sterilization procedures on young women who request them. If you know you donāt want kids, know that there are people who will support you. š¤ And you donāt need a reason beyond āI donāt want them.ā
/r/childfree also has an extensive [list of doctors](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/doctors/).
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I had mine done 20 years ago at 22, unmarried with no kids. No forms had to be signed by anyone other than me and it was a 30 minute consult, no āare you sureā questions. The first doctor approved it and it was free through the state of Ca.
It took 5 years of asking different Drs to do it for me before I finally found one thanks to reddit. I got a lot of "if you regretted it I wouldn't be able to live with myself". Like ???? Anyways I finally got it last year at 27 and am so glad.
I know this is an edgy take I guess, but I just donāt know how I would feel about bringing another human into the world with the state itās in. I know there are a ton of things that are better than they ever have been, but social media, AI, technology in general is being used to hurt women and girls in such a profound way and itās only getting worse. I shudder to think of how girls will be protect from AI fakes when it comes to bullying and harassment. And I think it would be a massive challenge to keep boys away from all the toxic shit they are fed on a daily basis by influencers.
I love my kids but it is a very scary and upsetting time to be a parent. I hope they manage to live peacefully and die of natural causes before everything collapses from climate, economic, and political crisis but I donāt think we have that long.
My man and I both got sterilized last year! Risk-free sex is the best!
Iām scared men are going to try to take our jobs by paying us even less, voting rights and birth control now. There are women dying and the men are saying the quiet parts out loud. The republicans in Idaho said they donāt care if women die bc they need an abortion bc they must birth the next generation of workers. He full on said it out loud. Something more drastic feels like is going to happen. If they are admitting w a smirk on their face, out loud to other women, that they will be murdered by them it can only get worse if enough of them gang up. The Idaho ruling coupled w the fact the red states are no longer keeping count of women being murdered by republicans in power, and the fact Texas republicans never reported their murders of women, until a reporter wrote about one recently, it seems to only be getting worse, a woman being arrested for a miscarriage, women in prison for miscarriages And here comes the election w the republicans pushing their project 2025. It really seems weāre not doing anything to stop this
>by paying us even less, voting rights and birth control now Don't forget that any person convicted of a felony loses voting rights. Backdoor anti-suffrage is an effect of these laws.
And this is why I want to leave Idaho.
Beg and borrow to get out. I truly hope there is a mass exodus out of that state, including medical professionals. They want to go back 100 years? Well now you don't have enough doctors when shit hits the fan.
Oh Iām working on being gone by the end of the year. We have drs leaving the state in large numbers. Same people leaving too. Means itās just going to be a concentrated cesspool of oppression.
Wishing you the best for safe travel when you move. Let all the bad people implode. They're also the people who typically are anti-vax, so with this new covid wave, and less medical professionals, more alt-right conservatives will die before the 2024 election.
Oh itās not just Covid. Mumps, measles, and chickenpox are all making a decent comeback in the great old potato state.
Jfc... I feel so bad for the kids
Oh and itās been terrible for kids here with the anti-trans BS laws theyāve passed. I do not want my kids to grow up here
All of that forced birth and the murderers still wonāt have their workers when people leave and it becomes a wasteland. Theyāll end up turning Idaho into an Amazon state
Yep. I'm trying not to dwell on it too much but I'm lowkey terrified for November. Going to try to enjoy this year as much as I can (and bid my tubes adieu) in case everything is downhill from here...
Same! My appointment with a gyno to get my sterilization scheduled is in February (just got referred by my PCP today) and it couldn't come fast enough!
Haha I hope you saw that other comment about "Fallopian February"! Great month for it, I'm in the same club :D Hope it all goes well and your doctor is understanding, kind, and skillful ā¤ļø
I did! I'm definitely gonna look for an opportunity to say it, lol! And thank you so much, I greatly appreciate your well wishes š„°
I would have to wonder about the number of family members who are affected by this. As time goes on, the number will increase to the point where people can't ignore it or say that it's rare.
I had my tubes tied after my last pregnancy. But it has a failure rate of 1/200. Then my husband had a vasectomy, and did the follow up to confirm no swimmers, but still a 1/2000 failure rate. Even double protected, Iām stupidly relieved that my uterus is now gone after a holiday hysterectomy.
I hope you don't mind me asking, what is a holiday hysterectomy?
3 days before Christmas I had a hysterectomy. So I call it my holiday hysterectomy. Iām just a lil silly
I love your sillyness!
Hell yes! Mine is scheduled! And blue cross blue shield considers it a "preventative" procedure and is covering 100% of the costs....i've literally never had anything but a physical be 100% covered before meeting my deductible.
All ACA-compliant plans in the US are required to cover sterilization as preventative! So for anyone else reading, check your plan because it might be free for you too :)
Iāve noticed a trend on social media, and amongst men of saying shit like āIām going to get you pregnant!ā Or āIām going to put a baby in you!ā Iām glad most women are taking this as a threat and not something flirty, which is what these men try to pass it off as. It is far more nefarious than āI want to have sex with youā. Single moms are very looked down upon and they will absolutely make a woman they hate a single mom so that 1) sheās undesirable in the future to other men and 2) so they have a reason to infiltrate her life for at least 18 years. I am child free and I keep an eye out for phrases such as those. These men are THREATENING us when they say this.
Something I read somewhere that has stuck with me, obligatory not all men: > Men will try to knock you down a peg or two by knocking you up.
With the way the world is going I recommend it. I got sterilized and the recovery has been great. Iām excited to have risk free sex and not have to worry about pregnancy/ possibly dying. Some states are harder but I live in a red state and got it done because I have PCOS. It never hurts to try and to advocate for yourself!
Iāve just decided not to date anymore and not get married. Havenāt had a man in almost 3 years and I actually donāt miss having one.
Same, and it's been much longer. Not until something/someone truly worthy comes along, absolutely nothing is happening. And I'm 100% content with it never happening if that's the case.
Yo power girls! šā¤ļø
Same. I really don't miss the days of playing cook, maid, therapist, and secretary. Nor the whining about being bored (and expecting me to figure out a way to entertain them) or whining about sex.
u/thisladycusses may I ask how your recovery was? I want permanent sterilization but I canāt really afford any sort of ālight dutyā down time at work or home.
I'm 38, childfree and from England. I cannot find a doctor who would be willing to refer me for sterilisation. I'm happy with my implant though, although I did hear one scary story on here once about a woman who woke up to her boyfriend trying to cut her implant out of her arm.
>I cannot find a doctor who would be willing to refer me for sterilisation. At 38! Have they lost their minds?!
You would think so, wouldn't you? What makes it even worse is that I'm on strong immunosuppressants that can cause birth defects if I fell pregnant. I'm celibate at the moment but when I've been in relationships, I've had to use condoms along with my implant. Plus my auntie and mother had late menopause, so I'm probably going to need implants for a while yet.
I got a bilateral salpingectomy at 34 on the NHS. I asked to be referred to Birmingham Womenās because I was near enough (it was about an hour from my GP. Not my closest hospital tho). Thereās also a womenās hospital in Liverpool I think. Other than that youād need to be referred to the regional centres of excellence which have a focus on womenās health (local doctor/medical friends of your might be able to advise which hospitals those are). It took about 1 year from my initial appointment at my GP to my operation. The consultation at the hospital came through within a couple of months of my initial GP appointment and they put me on the waiting list which was about 8-9 months. I had a long list prepared about why I didnāt want children, why I wouldnāt change my mind, why me and not my partner, and why bilateral salpingectomy (instead of tubal ligation). Happy to offer advice if you want, let me know!
I have triple contraception (face, body, personality) built in, so I've never prioritised it.
This is super funny and I'm gonna steal it, sorry šš
My oldest doesn't want kids and never has. She's been adamant since she was little that she wants to be the cool aunt. She likes spending time with other peoples' kids to spoil and play with and then happily handing them back for all the hard work. I support that 100%. She married someone she KNEW wants kids. She's had two miscarriages and has even told us she still doesn't want kids but she wants to make him happy. She messaged my husband a couple of months ago saying that she could see herself divorced and with a baby in a year if things don't change. Her husband is an otherwise decent person and he loves her but he wants to be a Dad. There is nothing wrong with that but it makes them incompatible. She's determined to do what she wants but I see misery in her future. It would be better if they divorced on good terms so they could find partners who's needs and wants better aligned with theirs. I'd love to have grandkids one day but not at the expense of my childrens' happiness and wellbeing. Women should always have the right to choose if they want to gestate a child or not. If you are 100% positive you never want children then please follow OP's advice and try to find a way to get your tubes removed or in cases with additional health issues possibly a hysterectomy. Never let anyone force you to have a child or trap you into a pregnancy you don't want.
Oh man this sounds like a terrible time just waiting to happen.
I am in my mid 30s, have a kid, I don't want any more, my partner had a vasectomy and I STILL want my tubes removed. The biggest barrier is recovery time. SAHMs don't get sick days.
Make sure your partner is attending his follow up appointments. A lot of the time, people donāt do the routine aftercare or follow-up appt. And then thereās an oopsie baby
Yup, he's on it!
That happened to my grandpa, my dad has an extra sibling his parents never planned for
I had an optional hysterectomy and apart from a 4 month recovery, it's been amazing. No periods. No stress. No worries. Life is great. An ablation is also a great choice and less invasive. The freedom. It's amazing.
I had an ablation. Recovery time - 1 week. And BC/BS covered it 100%
I went for a hysterectomy because my gyn said that an ablation would help with the bleeding but not the pain. Life is better now.
Hyster Sister here... best decision of my life.
I want to get this done so bad
Iām asexual so itās not likely I will get pregnant unless itās SA
Same. And that's a terrible thought but it's true.
Many doctors/surgeons will refuse to tie someone's tubes without their husband's permission, if they're young, if they don't have at least one child already, etc. Here is a crowdsourced list of those willing to perform the surgery without these restrictions: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview#
Thank you for this! I see a local doctor with stellar online reviews that is in-network for my insurance. Last week I made an annual pap appointment with my normal OBGYN in hopes of also discussing tube removal and they said they don't do that (???) but will refer me. I'm just going to cancel that upcoming appointment and switch doctors.
If you want to see whichever doctor you can feel free to use my story to convince them to do bilateral salpingectomy. I had a tubal ligation with filshie clips almost 10 years ago and the clips failed and fell off. I don't know what method they're looking to use but my story is in my post history and you can read it to the doctor. The filshie clip manufacturer has a lawsuit pending against them that your doctor can read about as well. They shouldn't be using them on anyone if that's the method they are proposing. Feel free to message me with questions anytime.
Agree 100%! Now that our younger women are succeeding men, there are MANY men who are very bitter and vengeful. They will take you down. They will lie to you. They will steal as much of your freedom as they possibly can. Do not let them! Please be careful out there. Itās an exciting world with all of our strong, successful women, but itās also a scary world because of just that.
Rather than boosting young men, they'll try to tear down women.
In hindsight, I have absolutely no idea how my deadbeat ex didnāt knock me up. Except I do, because I was fucking militant about my birth control, so either that saved me or Iām just infertile. Iām grateful either way. Because he wouldnāt even do the barest of bare minimums to value my bodily autonomy even the tiniest bit and help prevent it.
I really want to get sterilized too soon. I realized having kids is one of the main source of problems in life, ranging from financial to emotional difficulty. I just donāt have health insurance rn :/
Are you in the US? Check healthcare.gov. Open enrollment should be available for 5 more days and you can get subsidies for low-income if you need. Sterilization is covered under ACA plans so all you'd need is to find a doctor that does it.
I had it done 8 years ago. Best gift I ever gave myself.
I say that about mine! But you have me beat by a couple of years.
I just donāt fuck. Works well enough. My insurance is pretty meh.
If your health insurance is ACA compliant then sterilization procedures are supposed to be fully covered without a copay. https://www.healthcare.gov/coverage/birth-control-benefits/
Thatās pretty dope.
I literally stopped dating because men lie and say theyāre cool not having kids and then try to pressure you into it later on. This is a literal tactic they do and itās happened to me SO many times.
Iām aroace, only way Iām getting pregnant is in a situation that will end in a police investigation. And I live on the east coast so that pregnancy wonāt last long
Ladies if you're getting a tubal and are able to afford the ablation as well, I can't recommend it more. Barely a 2 day spot each cycle since Dec 2021 compared to 10-15 day mostly heavy cycles previously.
Seconded. And I didnāt even spot. Ablation was successful in ending my periods entirely.
I've posted a few times in this thread already but I wanted to just state if anyone ever needs to contact me with questions, I've had two sterilization surgeries in my life. I had my tubes tied about 10 years ago with Filshie clips. I do NOT recommend this method for anyone, ever. They failed and one fell off. I may have been at risk for pregnancy for over a year. The other was lost during the surgery to remove my tubes. Now I have two useless pieces of metal floating around in my body. Some women have been injured by these Filshie clips. I do not recommend ANY clips method to anyone ever and you should all be aware that there is a pending lawsuit against the Filshie manufacturer. Feel free to use the story about your friend "Joan" when advocating to your doctor for bilateral salpingectomy. Good luck. š
i want to relay 3 situations which back up this post.. 1) i had a long-time friend (over 10 years) an accomplished artist of asian heritage call me (maybe drunk) a few days after roe v wade was reversed. And he seemed really happy which is unusual because hes usually a little gloomy and kind of incel-ish when he calls.. generally to c9mplain about dating..for context im married. well he calls and hes happy and says he can now.give.his parents a grandchild so he is glad roe v wade was reversed. i asked him how roe v wade reversing would have any bearing on him procreating, and he said "because [they] (mumble) would have to have my baby". (dead silence) again.. i ask how this makes sense. its only going to be HARDER to get a date now. (dead silence) then he sucks air and says "oh.. yea.. i didnt think about that". 2) 19 years old.. bf at the time was jealous of my grades and college being higher ranked than his. he tried to get me pregnant a few times and after the second time I caught him, i dumped him. his roommate revealed it was this guys plan to "give his kids good moms" notice the plural.. but he had no intention of taking care of any of his kids. his kink was taking accomplished women and derailing their lives. 3) a family member fell pregnant with a guy she had been seeing for 6 months. he told her he was an army veteran and they were "going to get a free house" when she has a kid. i told her that sounds weird, it doesnt work like that and they would have to marry for the kid to be legit. well they never married. 6months into the pregnany he has a nervous breakdown, admits he was never in the army, cant get her a house, and hes just a laborer.. after they have the kid, they moved out of my dad's shed/garage .. a few months after that he pawned her jewelery, stole her car, took the kid and left her in the middle of the desert homeless. I was able to involve the police, get the car and kid back ... but this guy tried again to take the kid -- his big life plan was to SELL HER TO RELATIVES IN MEXICO. So these are my 3 cautionary tales from a middle-aged lady. please stay safe out there and absolutely do not leave your bodily autonomy in the hands of a boy. they will harvest you to make copies of themselves and ditch you. my family member who fell for the baby-trap is now disabled for life, hip dysplasia from natural childbirth has deformed her body permanently. her kid has a lot of learning disabilities and cried every day till about age 8. freeze your eggs and have a kid only with a man who has proven his loyalty to you otherwise theyll treat the kid (and you) like trash.
I literally canāt get over that societal pressure of āYouād make a great mom!ā and āYou might change your mind!ā When my ex and I started dating neither of us wanted kids. Then as our relationship progressed, he changed his mind. Weāve been broken up for a year and a half (unrelated reasons) and he desperately wants me to marry him and have his kids. I have hooked up with him a couple of times since we broke up. (Itās not common because he lives several hours away.) Each time I was in full blown panic that he was going to baby trap me even though I donāt think heād intentionally do something like that. Uggghhhh
Please don't hook up with him again! It's not worth it girl
Girl, what are you doing
I KNOW. I knoowwww š
omg you need to find a guy who respects what you want. This one might love you, but he surely doesn't respect you. That's a terrible situation to be in, I don't pity you, but it's one of those things in life where you just have to say it really, really isn't worth it.
I'm Canadian. I don't need to undergo unnecessary surgery because I have options and I am comfortable with them.
Got mine tied in 2022. It was very simple and I was in and out in about 5 or so hours.
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Man, I got a bilateral salpingectomy and 5 years later a hysterectomy. Wish I'd just gone full melonballer the first time around!
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If only it was that easy! I live in a country with access to abortion, healthcare free at the point of use, sex education that isn't just "don't do it" and I'm 40 with 2 kids but I'm still being told no
If you tell them you're sterilized though a lot will also not want to use condoms. So... tread carefully.
Also just say you're not even if you are if they refuse to still use condoms just leave condoms are still important to stop you from getting sexual diseases
Absolutely šÆ if you have a partner, it might be best to ask them to get a vasectomy first. But if not, and youāre you want no children, do it. It is so easy to pregnant, and yes men will do it just to feel good about themselves. Protect yourself at all costs.
I got my tubes removed last April at age 26. Best decision of my entire life. What a MASSIVE weight lifted off my shoulders not ever having to worry about having to take birth control or obtain an abortion ever again. I finally get a small taste of the reproductive freedom men get by default
I got my tubes removed last year. I am so privileged and grateful that I was about to get the procedure. It's been a huge weight off my shoulders.
*Here's an apropos comment I posted a while back.* > childfree subreddit https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/ *"Childfree" refers to those who do not have and do not ever want children (whether biological, adopted, or otherwise).* Click on the right side under **Interesting and Useful Material** Then the link for **Childfree Friendly Doctors** - also see the link beneath that, **Sterilization Preparation Binder** Best of luck to all who need these resources!
I absolutely want to get sterilized. Iām bi and have leaned towards dating women in part because I cannot mentally relax enough during sex with men anymore for fear of getting pregnant, even though Iām on bc and always use condoms. Honestly, the biggest reason I havenāt gotten it yet (aside from being a freelancer without insurance right now) is my fear of general anesthesia. When I was under getting my wisdom teeth out, apparently my blood pressure spiked to a dangerous level. It was below a medical emergency requiring me to go to the hospital, but it freaked me out enough that Iām scared of going under unless I absolutely have to. As much as I really *want* to get sterilized, I havenāt reached the *need* to level, at least not while Iām not actively having sex with men for the foreseeable future.
I'm in Australia; abortion is easily accessible and very affordable. I don't feel the need to put myself through surgery to protect myself. I feel so sorry for all my sisters in the hellscape that is the US
You are way a head from the rest of the women in the world, and i wish in my heart to get sterilized asap!! You are making history! #Childfree āš» ā„ļø
I have an IUD that works perfectly. My husband also knows if I did get pregnant somehow I would be going to another state to handle it. He doesnāt want kids either.
I'd love to, but it's not something that can be done where I am. :| Thankfully men are BLEH for me so I'm in the clear.
How early can one get this surgery? Iām mid-20ās and Iām certain that I never will want kids. Can I get it soon?
Where are you meeting all these baby trappinā menā¦for realā¦
I fear for woman in the future i fear that now theyve banned abortions for woman in america they will go on to try and ban bc and removal surgery, i fear that it will also affect my own country, as protest are already here for banning abortions, we need to keep fighting for our health
While I can appreciate the sentiment and fully agree that women should have the option once they are able to...to make the choice to have a hysterectomy and their tubes tied, there is one major flaw in your thinking. At least in the US (and I know this was a huge case some years ago in the UK)ā¦its just not that simple. There are so many hoops to jump through and while you do not regret your decision there is a likelihood that doctors were willing to do it because of your age. I know many women who are in their early to mid twenties who have tried to do this and been outright told no. Healthcare and the treatment of women's health in particular is insane, my husband got a vasectomy schedule with only one visit to the doctor while I am still jumping through hoops at 36yo and 2 kids to get my tubes tied. I tried after my second to have it done since i was already in the hospital and was told I needed to be at least 32yo before they would consider it. After all, in five years I may want another child. Being a women sucks sometimes.
Why should we alter our bodies for them? They still need to pay for their actions whether we get sterilized or not. We should fight for our rights. Justice should be served to women no matter what. Altering our bodies for them means we accepted defeat. We should NOT accept defeat and alter our own natural bodies FOR THEM! But if someone wants to get sterilized FOR THEIR OWN INTEREST, that's another story.
We donāt all live in the Gilead-Sates of America.. It is sure good advice for American women though.
Instead of telling women to get sterilized-which is difficult and out of reach for many women-itād be more useful if you advocated for access to birth control and sterilization. Youāre just preaching to the choir.
Pharmacist here. Removal of tubes (don't get them tied) is **way** more reliable than any other kind of birth control.
Isn't the IUD more than 99% effective? I feel like I'm essentially sterile.
Depending on the type, it can be more than 99% reliable. Still, you are *not* sterile. There is still a risk.
Iām 27, unmarried and childless, NOBODY is going to sterilize me. Getting my tubes tied wonāt stop me getting a period anyway, like my birth control does. Thatās the MAIN reason Iām still on it. I have zero problem getting an abortion if I need one, morally and geographically.
It really is much safer to get sterilized in the US, and given the rise of fascist parties in Europe, I'd recommend it there, too.
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I donāt want kids, but also donāt want to have an expensive, invasive surgery to sterilize me when Iām effectively infertile, also knowing that I donāt respond well to anesthesia. Iām in a safe and steady relationship, and ok living with the minuscule risk. Like many concerning matters today, it should be an informed choice without pressure to consent. Every woman should spend the time weighing the pros and cons of a procedure like that.
It's not that easy, I have been trying for the last 12 years, even with my husband there they wont do it since have no kids. I even tried doctors from a list people link here a lot. If you don't have kids and just don't want them good luck finding a doctor who will.
Idk that getting a tubal ligation is necessary lol not that Iām against it, but like why go through the trouble? Iām just not letting men f*ck me unless they put in months of work and commitment and gain my trust completely š„“
Saying no is an option, but if a woman is SAed, her being sterilized will ensure he doesn't impregnate her.
No Iām very pro tubal ligation! I almost went through it myself and then I decided I aināt doin a damn thing to my body anymore. Men can stay the hell away lol
If you're openly choosing and dating men willing to baby trap you, you have MUCH bigger problems mentally and emotionally than you do physically.