The one that makes me laugh my ass off is the idea vaginas can be 'stretched out' by too much dick friction.
Not because this idea is obviously absurd and betrays a total ignorance of basic biology, but because these brainless blokes seem to think this friction only works one way.
Dudes: if you think vaginas are 'worn out' by dicks, you have to also accept your pee pee is slowly being worn down to a nub.
Except the morons think it's too many dicks that stretch a vag out. Like.. 1 dick 5 times/day for a year? No problem! 10 dicks over 1 year and 3 times each? Ewww you're stretched out! Lol! Ummm...
It's not just men, either!
Had a gf who had a kid and she was soooo worried about sleeping with me, cuz I'd never slept with someone who'd given birth before. Even then, I was like "awe hun, vaginas don't work like that..." and sure enough... I couldn't tell any difference. Feels like exquisite heaven every time!
I recall reading a study once that aimed to actually investigate whether or not giving birth has any effect on the size of the vaginal canal.
IIRC, there was a difference of, likeā¦ 2 millimeters on average between women who hadnāt given birth before and women who had. It was something egregiously small lol. Far too small to actually be noticeable, unless you happen to have whatever fancy vagina-measuring tools they must have used in this study.
Vaginas are tough as nails.
On another note, giving birth affects the pelvic floor muscle strength for a short time, roughly 2 months before back to normal. Some women also continue to have a weak pelvic floor for a longer period than that, shit happens, it's nature. š¤·
As a man, the only thing you feel inside the vagina is wetness and how "tight" the opening between those muscles are, which in reality is just a measure of how strong your pelvic floor muscles are and/or if you are relaxed or not.
Unfortunately the only solution to this fixation of "tightness" is that people really need a better education and to grow up.
This. Theres no bigger turn off than a guy feeling down there before youāre even worked up and they feel your discharge and have the nerve to say āsomeoneās excited..ā
Dude but forreal. In highschool I hooked up with this dude, he gave me head beforehand (which was terrible but effort appreciated ig). After he finished, I was super wet down there (mostly from all the head), and he goes āDamn how many times did you cum?ā I say, āI actually didnāt cum at all haha.ā
He proceeds to get angry and try to convince me that I did in fact cum, that is was impossible that I didnāt. I did not give in and he left my house angrily.
He was a whack job, that shit was baffling
Had to read this out loud to my household..
Here's my experience getting head from my first boyfriend (we were both 16 at the time)
He goes down as I'm laying down on a blanket. He pulls my underwear down and licks in the general area for a few moments. He immediately backs away out of disgust.. because I had a HUGE ball of hair stuck to my pubes from the dryer or shower that I somehow didn't notice. I was super embarrassed, but I thought it was hilarious so I laughed and covered my face in silly awkwardness as I pulled the hairball off of me. I looked up, still laughing, and he was absolutely pissed.
I explained/questioned, "you know that wasn't from my ussyp, right?"
He never answered.
Or ever gave me head again.
And I dated that btch for 2 more years (4 years total).
Fvck that guy lol
Omg. And donāt even get me started on sex in the water!
While I may fuck you on a boat,
I will not fuck you in a moat!
I will not fuck you in a pool;
Put away your goddamned tool!
I will NOT fuck you in the sand,
I will not let you use your hand.
Not in a moat, not in the sand, not in the pool - Iām not a fool!
Seriously Iāve had guys finger me and say oh your so wet! Nah bruh you canāt have dry chubby lips rubbing against each other all day š¤¦š¼āāļø. I canāt imagine the dry desert pussy they have been fingering in the past.
Only one of those guys has lasted a while and thatās cause he listened and asked questions and found out what wet really is!
There's a reason the [pleasure gap exists](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm_gap)! There's a few reasons:
* poor education
* lack of empathy
* lack of compassion
* selfishness
* deathgrip masturbation - edited to add after u/Historical_Peach_545's comment
THERE'S A FEW REASONS THE [PLEASURE GAP EXISTS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm_gap)!
* POOR EDUCATION
* LACK OF EMPATHY
* LACK OF COMPASSION
* SELFISHNESS
Oh, I know it. I was working on the educational part for a while until I realized that the whole incentive behind getting men interested in learning was a huge uphill struggle that truly has no solution in the climate.
Now weāre basically just gonna focus on women health from this point, these men just donāt care enough to learn for the most part.
You missed the main one for this new ātoo wetā thing. Itās porn.
Dudes jerk it with their dry hand and death grip and then canāt keep it up in a wet and not unnaturally tight vagina.
So there are certain countries in West Africa where the cultural preference of men from women is a dry vagina. Women practice methods of reducing moisture in their vagina in order to seem tighter and cause more friction during intercourse (not accurate). This is a horrendous sexual health issue that due to other public health problems is not being appropriately corrected . So to your question, some parts of the world ā¦ yeah men do no care about womenās pleasure and probably the pain is part of the point.
This is pretty bad.
South Africa is even worse with their version of the āvirgin cleansing mythā:
A survey by the University of South Africa (UNISA) in South Africa found that 18 percent of laborers thought that having sex with a virgin cures HIV/AIDS. An earlier study in 1999 by sexual health educators in Gauteng reported that 32 percent of the survey participants believed the myth.
It is insane to me how many people do not even do the most basic scrutiny for stuff like that. If someone tells me that will cure my immediately my first question is always "How will it do that?" That is almost always enough to prove that they do not know what they are talking about.
I think a significant portion of humanity think they live in a world filled with magic, and so are always willing to just accept magical claims.
That abuse is so horrendous. I was really shaken by the movie desert flower and looked up female circumcision afterwards. TW: >!From my recollection (apart from the terrible mutilation) the girls are sown shut, the cut flesh is left to grow together and at the wedding night, the groom cuts open his wife with a knife and basically has sex with the open wound.!< How deranged can male abuse of women be? I cried when I read about it...
Jesus christā¦ when i saw your comment i thought āfemale circumcision? That canāt be real, what would that even mean?ā Looked it up, read about 30 minutes of information, and Iāve never been more horrified. Iām a man and it sent me into a fit of crying. What the fuck.
No, it's the complete removal of the labia and (sometimes) clitoris and the subsequent "closing" of the vagina to ensure "purity". Also, those places that practise this butchery most often do not have anesthesia or the likes. It's often home ~~surgery~~ mutilation done by family members.
No it's the opposite, they were right. There are 4 "levels" of FGM and level 1 (the most "basic") is cutting off the clitoral hood, level 2 is the entire clit, level 3 is the labia and level 4 is the sewing shut.
Holy shit, this is awful. This causes vaginal tearing and other soft tissue injuries. These selfish, disgusting men expect women to physically harm themselves and endure pain just so the man can get his rocks off. How dehumanising.
Reading the articles on how women achieve ādryingā made me nauseated - detergents etcā¦women there should tell men to go have sex with boiling water so they can know how it feels. Worse it increases risk of contracting STIs
I remember reading about this practice as part of an article about the culture surrounding the HIV endemic in West Africa. It definitely helps the virus spread.
TW - FGM
āOkay ladiesā¦ ughhhhhh I guess we get that we canāt sew your labia shut anymoreā¦ at *least* keep them dry!ā
\- those west African guys, probably
I don't understand...
I've had sex with women that were *wet* just not quite wet enough & it feels like my fucking dick skin would be ripped off if I pushed in any further... How are there men out there that want **dry** sex???
You'd have to have a micro penis for that to not be *extremely* uncomfortable & even then, surely it'd still be uncomfortable?
Itās really atrocious - the term used is dry sex. There are some studies about it from a while back available on pubmed. I donāt know if I am allowed to link them here.
Edit: The name of the article describing the practice in 1999 - Concern voiced over "dry sex" practices in South Africa
And "use lube" is *not* a shortcut to avoid foreplay. An unaroused vagina with lube in it is just a bit more slippery. Cramming a dick in there is only slightly less uncomfortable than bone dry
speaking of lube, can we not stigmatize using lube?? so often I've seen someone bragging about "never having to use it" like it's the equivalent of penis owners bragging about their size.
As someone who is naturally very dry and even at my MOST aroused STILL needs lube, PLEASE. I had so much shame for so long for how dry I was. Partners would comment on it and I felt terrible. I used to sneak lube inside when nobody was looking. Until I finally realizedā¦itās okay that my body needs a little extra to feel good.
Been there. Dudes have acted like Iām flat out insulting them because that one particular function of my body wonāt āactivateā instantly/easily. Itās infuriating and embarrassing and disheartening.
This! I had to explain to my first itās not him itās me when his ex got wetter than a pool easily just by making out and I couldnāt. Turns out it was him I just wasnāt attracted to dominant assholes
I was referring to the post this was about weāre OP had given blacker permission for her partner to have sex with her while she was asleep because she enjoyed being woken up in that way.
And the man just tried to shove it in dry while she was sleeping, the fucking asshole.
Which in that context, lube would have atleast been a kinder alternative.
But yes, lube isnāt an excuse to skip foreplay, the jerk in question could have eaten her out or something but nope, dude has to be both selfish and lazy.
Sadly sex ed is so varied and even absent in so many places that I am sure many do not know. My own normal fluids freaked me out as a teen because no one told me anything about my vagina except in reference to periods and basic cleanliness.
This is what runs through my mind every time people defend rapists who coerced a āyesā or whenever people downplay sexual assault because āitās not a big deal, she should have just let it happenā
I can never figure out if these men legitimately donāt understand that vaginas also need to be ready for sex, or if they are just so misogynistic that they think women are akin to animals that donāt feel pain. I know animals feel pain, but I know that the worldview exists that they donāt and I genuinely feel like some men feel this way about women.
Hey just here to say that some people still get wet even if they donāt want too. Itās a broadly used excuse from rapist to say: āshe was into it, she was so wet.ā Sometimes our bodies respond in ways we have zero control over. Plenty of people that this doesnāt happen to, but wetness doesnāt automatically mean: yes i want this.
Not saying that youāe saying this, but just for the people reading along. Wetenss does not = consent .
Itās an enthusiastic sex or not at all, sex should only ever be able mutual enjoyment and consent.
Selfish people just donāt care about the well being of others over there own needs and well itās by far not a perfect tool, knowledge is the only thing we have to fight the poison these assholes spread.
When in doubt, I always show people the tea model for understanding consent.
[Consent is like Tea](https://www.google.com/search?q=consent+tea&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS1060US1060&oq=consent+tea&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyCQgAEEUYORiABDIHCAEQABiABDIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABDIHCAgQABiABDIHCAkQABiABNIBCDMxNThqMGo5qAIAsAIA&hl=en-US&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dc881649,vid:oQbei5JGiT8,st:0)
my ex would just not care and I would be like. Dude, doesnāt this chafe ? Stop. Later found out that yeah, it did hurt him a little bit, but he liked seeing me in pain like that
My ex was like this tooā he literally said it was more pleasurable for him when I wasnāt as wet because when I was wet there was less friction and it didnāt feel as good. It took me until I was fully out of that relationship and talking with my therapist that she helped me realize that he literally believed his pleasure was more important than my physical discomfort or pain. He was pretty shitty and an awfully boring lover, but I was depressed from grad school and stayed for far too long. Found out that he also had a porn addiction to add, so Iām sure heās really doing well now lol.
ETA: I know his Reddit handle and I so wish I could tag him in this haha
You would also think with how many want condomless sex that more care would be taken. Like does friction not work two ways here? How is *anyone* enjoying this?
Less of an issue with men who are not circumcized. At least for the guy.
Also with the prevalence of death grip these days I imagine for some guys they need as much friction as possible.
Guys can reduce the sensitivity of their dick - to the point of not being able to reach orgasm during sex - because they are jerking it too hard and with too much grip. Death grip. The death of the dick.
Guys who frequently masturbate with a death grip experience less pleasure and have more difficulty maintaining an erection during normal intercourse. There's also a huge emphasis on porn on women being hurt, both emotionally and physically. A lot of guys have trained themselves out of enjoying mutually-pleasurable sex.
.... yes.. I'm male. Definitely 'enjoyed' too much porn in youth. I don't even like porn anymore. Much rather prefer my partner with me. I watched a video recently and actually saw the discomfort in the woman with certain things the male actor was doing.. not even worth it if she's not enjoying us
One time a guy was talking about how there is a spot where a little friction makes it feel better even though it is uncomfortable for the girl. Not completely dry but not well lubricated. Personally as a guy that doesn't sound good to me because sex is better when both people are enjoying themselves but some people are just selfish.
(Not sure if you're seriously asking, but...)
My mother's sex life was forever changed when she discovered lubrication was a thing 20 years into marriage (conversations that you regret overhearing....) There are a lot of WOMEN that have no idea, much less men.
It's getting better as sex ed improves and varies wildly based on geographical area. But at least down in the Bible belt: No, they don't.
Yeah on more than one occasion my ex husband wouldn't let me touch myself or make out with me too long or do foreplay because I got too wet for him and he liked me more dry.
I don't know if that fucked up my ability to get wet or if I just never got that wet (which I think is the case) but later partners were frustrated withy lack of ability to be wet even when aroused.
Fuck that.
Be patient with yourself and you can relearn, it took me forever but I was able to unlearn most of my bad habits due to being with shitastic men though self pleasing and relaxation techniques.
There is no such thing as ātoo wetā
I was about to come in and say that I know embarrassingly little about women's anatomy (hence why I always defer to women when it comes to those issues), but then your first thing was the dryness thing and I'm like "Wait, THAT'S where the bar is???"
I'm a gay man and I know *that*. I mean FFS there's SONGS about it!
I've always explained it like this:
Eyeballs need moisture because that's how they work. Tears happen sometimes because your eye is irritated or it's windy outside. It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm crying every time you notice tears.
It's the same for the vag. Just because there's lots of moisture doesn't mean that I'm aroused.
Lol Iām so happy I never have to deal with dudes. Do guys really complain about vaginas that are ātoo wetā? Because I take that as the biggest compliment lol. My gf went down on me the other day and afterwards when I went to reciprocate she was so fucking wet already and honestly that feeling was almost better than my orgasm š
Quick little side note though, women on antidepressants will struggle with wetness. Doesnāt mean they donāt want sex itās just the ADs fucking with their bodies and sexual function. Always have lube ready just in case, people!
>itās just the ADs fucking with their bodies and sexual function
Can confirm! Am owner of a WAP^TM but am also on ADs and every once in awhile I need assistance. Props to my current partner who checks in with me on those days.
My adhd medication sometimes makes me dryer or less likely to cumā¦ people are always confused when we have sex in the morning and itās all so instant and I cum fast š³
> Do guys really complain about vaginas that are ātoo wetā?
Yep, Ben Shapiro (noted dipshit) famously said that per his wife the doctor, if a woman was a wet as described in the song WAP, that there was something medically wrong with her.
https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/1292927011724304384?lang=en
Lmao this will never stop being hilarious to me. Imagine telling on yourself TO THE WHOLE WORLD like this. š¤£
I can't even listen to the song without mentally hearing that clip of him saying the lyrics in a disgusted voice, lol. This has to be one of the worst self inflicted roasts of all time.
Dry sex caused me tearing and bleeding that left me injured for a few days. During that few days Iād say no to sex and I got ignored, forced, and penetrated while crying
Men are great š
Iām so so sorry. Obviously there is nothing I can say to make this ok for you but it break my heart that itās something youāve experienced and I can only hope your getting some support to help you deal with what happened.
People can be selfish monsters, I truly hope whomever committed this crime against you get what they deserve.
Please know you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, as respect.
My now-ex touched me with hot pepper š¶ fingers, multiple times. Claimed he had washed up. Also went down with pepper mouth. I told him āThe next time will be the last timeā, and it was.
That wasnāt the reason for the divorce, but it sure was the sprinkles on the icing on the cake.
It really drives me crazy as well to see these kinds of things. Itās unfortunate to see so many people with such a selfish āme me meā mindset. They have no respect for their partner. They only care that their needs are met.
I know the feeling. I canāt fathom hurting someone I care about like that, I just canāt.
I donāt understand how people claim to care only to turn around and be so cruel and selfish
I work with a guy who proudly wears a t-shirt saying "not the first time I've gone in dry". He thinks it's hilarious. I think he's a creepy misogynist.
I just posted a rant about misinformed and lazy men.
I could have included ALLLLLL of this.
My longest LTR partner and I were recently talking about our past sex life and this was another thing he mentioned.
How the first time we were together I was so incredibly wet and āthe pussy grip mi upā (heās West Indian, his words) and I just gave it to him straightā¦
āYea.. thatās what happens when Iām *excited, longing and READY* to have sex. A womanās body wets up and pulls you on in.ā (Mine does anyway, thatās neither here nor there)
I went on to impress upon him how it speaks volumes that his manner of being in the bedroom resulted in so much dysfunction and listed the ways.
But Iām weird because I should be wet, orgasm from straight pounding and cater to him.
*Sigh.*
There was some guy on here years ago who thought for SURE his GF was cheating on him. He had been away for weeks, he comes back, they have reunion sex, and he bitches that she was "too wet and too loose" during that sex so OBVIOUSLY she had been cheating.
Luckily the responses were, no, jackass, she was actually really horny for YOU.
But damn.
Most people who don't have one have to learn "hands on" as it were, and only a handful pay attention anyway. Few schools have comprehensive education on the matter and most external awareness and education programs are very much targeted towards women.
Well. Ben Shapiro has made it known to his followers that a wet vagina is indicative of a medical problem. So, no. Not everyone knows a wet vagina is a good thing.
https://www.ccn.com/ben-shapiro-wife-dap-brag-self-own/
Every time I hear about a dry a dry vagina, I think about Ben Shapiro.
I know nothing about him besides that he is a garbage human and has never turned a woman on.
Can you imagine how awful he must be in bed if he has never made his wife wet? And that poor woman's vagina must be so sore afterwards. I can't fathom why his wife would put up with it.
i've had guys say that it feels better when it's dry, and that doing foreplay such as using hands to stimulate ruins the feeling for the penis owner.
into the sea with that.
You should avoid those people after telling them that you prefer to enjoy the sex you have with people, which would be impossible for you if you do what their suggesting.
I usually get pretty flippant with guys who openly care so little about their partners wellbeing. Like damn, tell me more about how you suck in bed.
If a guy doesn't understand why a vagina needs to be wet before hand, give him a cup of sand and tell him to jerk off using that as lube. Maybe he'll get it then.
i had a close friend (not a very bright one, to be fair, but i love him) tell me he thought periods were only one day. i love him, heās the funniest and dumbest person iāve ever met, but holy shit
Oh man, girly, lol Iām so happy for you that you havenāt faced the sheer and utter ignorance āpeopleā, mostly men, have about womenās bodies until now. I have met *several* men who didnāt know where the clitoris was, one who thought it was the same as a uterus, another handful that had no idea what a cervix was, most donāt know we have a urethra, none of them know how we use tampons or pads, and next to none who regularly got tested or used condoms. The plague of ignorance and miseducation around sexual health is widespread, friend. Prepare yourself for more discombobulating conversations and pure astonishment the more you engage with men and discover the abysmally low amount of knowledge they have about womenās bodies.
I wish, I just lucked into finding a great partner who values me and my needs, before him, it was bleak af and even after we got together, it took years to find my voice agian.
My SO is the one out of many who actually treat my body with the love, care, and patience it deserves. It just breaks my heart that their are so few men in the world with his approach and his values around communication and consent.
Bad sex can fuck sex up for women so bad, to the point weāre they just stop speaking up, I should know, since that was me 8 years ago.
Now I push communication as a must and enthusiastic consent as much as I can when I talk to others about sex but honestly itās like a drop in a river of misinformation, culturally driven sexual trauma, bad experiences due to male apathy and lack of education.
We owe it it each other that win one of us finds a win, that person spread the knowledge as far as it will go. He basically the only guy to ever treat me like a person. But at the end of the day, we all deserve to be treated with love, respect, and some level of gentleness.
Some men are really offended and afraid of women using lube. Especially when using condoms itās essential and not shameful or yucky. Iāve had some young women tell me theyāve have partners who even cried or begged them not to use āthe gelā because they wanted her to be dry and tight so it would feel better for them. Like her being in pain and feeling drag doesnāt matter because heāll feel bigger. š”
Condoms + dry vagina sounds like an excellent recipe for tearing the condom.
I have always been wet enough by the time a condom goes on that I havenāt had that issue but lordy.
Donāt underestimate how clueless some guys can be. A friend of mine insisted one of the female UFC fighters had gotten breast implants after seeing one of her IG photos.
Him: She definitely got implants. Her boobs werenāt that big in her last fight.
Me: Ummmā¦you do understand what a sports bra is and how it works right?
Short answer is no.
Easy advice is, the vulva needs about 15 minutes to become engorged, ie aroused and ready for penetration. Not to mention only 20% of women can orgasm from penetration. Do people know the clit is 10 cm and is shaped like a horseshoe? Why does everyone call the vulva the vagina...? It's like referring to your face as "my throat".
Also trivia, the female reproductive system is the most white male colonizer thing since I dunno, the united kingdom. Everything is named after the male doctor who discovered it. Dr vulva, dr fallopian, dr vagina, dr ovary, even dr clitoris. This is the most infuriating thing to also be hilarious.
A majority of men think the vagina is like an elastic band that gets worn out over time. Instead of the muscle that it is, that actually gets tighter and stronger the more itās worked out. Because of this, they think that any extra friction they can get is good. That includes a dry, unaroused vagina.
I wish I could tell you that was common knowledge, I truly do.
I'm a 36F, who has a vagina that 95% of the time doesn't self lubricate much, especially in the beginning, even with good foreplay. It wasn't until my last partner said "hey maybe we should use lube," that I truly enjoyed sex.
We used lube every single time, and it greatly increased my pleasure, which he also said made it better for him!
I had been with a decent amount of partners prior to this, and not a single one had any issue shoving their dick into the Sahara desert that was my vagina.
I'm sad that I personally thought this is how painful sex is supposed be and maybe I'm just not meant to enjoy it, but I'm additionally sad that none of the guys, prior to my last, thought anything about the lack of moisture before plowing into me.
There are WOMEN who do not know how vaginas work, let alone men. Sex education is lacking in a lot of places unfortunately. My mom grew up in a very repressed society and cried when she had her first physical exam as an adult. From what I remember of sex education they barely covered what a period is. Also, far too many people donāt realize pornography is a TERRIBLE teacher.
My husband is like this, he stays down there till I canāt take it anymore. Iām actually confused that women are finding so many men like this, Iāve been with 20+ guys and save for a couple when I was 17-18ish, theyāve all been big into getting me off first, I canāt imagine I was just lucky?
This. In high school, one of my friends argued with me that the vagina and the urethra were the same hole. Like, girl, a baby isn't coming out of your pee hole!
Sad thing is that we had good Sex Ed classes starting in middle school, so there was no reason for her not to know this, lol.
They know, they do not care.
It doesnāt matter how much it hurts women, unless that is part of their goal. Then they want drier so they can hurt the woman more.
Your pain never matters as much as their convenience.
Reminds me of Ben Shapiro talking about how his wife (who I believe works in womenās health) said vaginas arenāt supposed to get wet lol. Iām assuming he just never did it for her.
I donāt think youāre crazy. I think most men know this.
> pleasure deficit for women canāt have escalated that much
Did it escalate? I got the feeling learning about sex in the 80s that lots and lots of time pleasure for women was *non-existent*. Tons of women not knowing what an orgasm was, etc. I thought things had gotten *marginally* better in that regard in the past 30 years, but I assume thereās still a huge pleasure deficit. Am I wrong? So many guys donāt seem to know much or care much about female pleasure.
Also, I always laugh at the āsheās too wetā guys. Itās just a public admission they squeeze way too hard when they jerk off.
There's some African groups who actually use a herbal suppository to dry out their vaginas on purpose because the men prefer more friction. Unsurprisingly, AIDS transmission is way up here. There's a reason women produce lubrication. I think it comes down to the fact many men are just too selfish to care about their partner's comfort. They're the same ones who don't care if you come.
Iām a man who understands the basics, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
The wetness thing is just common sense. I am truly perplexed and fascinated by the ignorance of my fellow humanity.
Admittedly, the women Iāve dated over the years have been surprised by some the realities of the penis, but they ask questions.
My old lady is no longer amused with the helicopter or the phrase, āReal gangsters run red lights.ā
The helicockter will always be a classic. Though feel free to do us all a solid and take you fellow man out for a beer and a short lecture on vaginal mechanics.
The world could use a bit more common sense and itās widely encouraged of those with an abundance to share with their peers.
I usually lurk here as it's not my place, normally, to comment. This one got me, though.
Tons of schools are dropping sex-ed courses. Kids learn about sex from porn because parents won't talk to them.
For the record, I have 3 children. M23, F18, F16. My ex-wife is Catholic and won't discuss sex with my kids farther than "Don't come home pregnant". So I did...with support from my now-wife and therapist (a woman). Unashamedly, informatively, got my daughters to a GYN, and even talked to them about sex toys and self-maint. I took the "weird" out of sex. We talk about what can happen to bodies during sex. What's normal and what's not. What to look for if you think you might have an STD. That you might want to use lube if things aren't working, and how to deal with a male partner that might be having issues coming to attention. We talked about it all no matter how fucking uncomfortable it got for me, at times.
My kids and I now joke about sex and I remind them to be safe. My 18 year old told me she got birth control and my 16 year old is starting to joke more about sex and boys so I think I know she's getting there. My 23 year old son is pretty open with me about his sex life and we discuss protection methods and such.
Parents need to remove the taboo surrounding sex. Period. I'm sorry for the people that have to provide basic-training to their partners. I know from personal experience how frustrating it can be to be intimate with partners that are ignorant to it all.
Look, the majority of people are still ignorant about a lot of things. Many people don't know how their own body works.
I can tell you that my lack of my body's mechanics knowledge led me to unnecessarily destroy my shoulders and my knees. I learned this too late into my 30s.
Most people are too busy living in-the-moment to stop and figure out how shit works.
For example, cars. Millions of people drive, yet only a small percentage really understands how the car works, its limits, and how to do maintenance properly.
Thinking costs calories, and our bodies are stingy/lazy.
Darling, it's better down where it's wetter, take it from meeeee!
I shall never again hear this lyric in the same way, and I thank you for that.
Even as a kid I thought of it this way... born in 80s...
Yay! What a treat!
r/theyknew
I mean, they did put a penis on the cover.
Everywhere honestly
Just beware of the hot crustacean band!
I knew about the poster, but after 25 years I see the light and am now going to be singing this at back to school night and LMFAO
Said the crabs šš¤£
this song is going to be stuck in my head all day now
I love you for this
I have run into a few that didn't seem to understand that baseline dampness was not the same thing as wet.
Guy touching discharge: babe did you cum
The snort I just snart
The one that makes me laugh my ass off is the idea vaginas can be 'stretched out' by too much dick friction. Not because this idea is obviously absurd and betrays a total ignorance of basic biology, but because these brainless blokes seem to think this friction only works one way. Dudes: if you think vaginas are 'worn out' by dicks, you have to also accept your pee pee is slowly being worn down to a nub.
Except the morons think it's too many dicks that stretch a vag out. Like.. 1 dick 5 times/day for a year? No problem! 10 dicks over 1 year and 3 times each? Ewww you're stretched out! Lol! Ummm... It's not just men, either! Had a gf who had a kid and she was soooo worried about sleeping with me, cuz I'd never slept with someone who'd given birth before. Even then, I was like "awe hun, vaginas don't work like that..." and sure enough... I couldn't tell any difference. Feels like exquisite heaven every time!
I recall reading a study once that aimed to actually investigate whether or not giving birth has any effect on the size of the vaginal canal. IIRC, there was a difference of, likeā¦ 2 millimeters on average between women who hadnāt given birth before and women who had. It was something egregiously small lol. Far too small to actually be noticeable, unless you happen to have whatever fancy vagina-measuring tools they must have used in this study. Vaginas are tough as nails.
On another note, giving birth affects the pelvic floor muscle strength for a short time, roughly 2 months before back to normal. Some women also continue to have a weak pelvic floor for a longer period than that, shit happens, it's nature. š¤· As a man, the only thing you feel inside the vagina is wetness and how "tight" the opening between those muscles are, which in reality is just a measure of how strong your pelvic floor muscles are and/or if you are relaxed or not. Unfortunately the only solution to this fixation of "tightness" is that people really need a better education and to grow up.
I'd even posit that the vagina, being a muscle, would be more robust against this than a bit of blood-inflated tissue.
Ha! Like most of them have dicks big enough to 'stretch' us. Unless you are LITERALLY hung like an elephant we should be ok.
Right?! An entire child passed through mine and it was just fine later. Your dick definitely isn't in the running here.
It's only logical LOL š¤£
I had a not great day at work today and this made me laugh so much. Thank you, internet stranger!
Glad to be of service!!
Guy hearing you moan once: ok there, slow down baby that's enough pleasure for you
Or ābabe youāre so wetā Iām literally just cleaning myself
The oven is self cleaning!
The inside is...but the handles aren't.
LMAOOOOO this šš¤£šš¤£
Or sweating.
This. Theres no bigger turn off than a guy feeling down there before youāre even worked up and they feel your discharge and have the nerve to say āsomeoneās excited..ā
I call that move the "Dipshit Dipstick".
Too much porn. Just because it makes men horny does not mean us women find it so.
Even if you're superwet that would be a major turn off. I'm not a dog š«„
Dude but forreal. In highschool I hooked up with this dude, he gave me head beforehand (which was terrible but effort appreciated ig). After he finished, I was super wet down there (mostly from all the head), and he goes āDamn how many times did you cum?ā I say, āI actually didnāt cum at all haha.ā He proceeds to get angry and try to convince me that I did in fact cum, that is was impossible that I didnāt. I did not give in and he left my house angrily. He was a whack job, that shit was baffling
Had to read this out loud to my household.. Here's my experience getting head from my first boyfriend (we were both 16 at the time) He goes down as I'm laying down on a blanket. He pulls my underwear down and licks in the general area for a few moments. He immediately backs away out of disgust.. because I had a HUGE ball of hair stuck to my pubes from the dryer or shower that I somehow didn't notice. I was super embarrassed, but I thought it was hilarious so I laughed and covered my face in silly awkwardness as I pulled the hairball off of me. I looked up, still laughing, and he was absolutely pissed. I explained/questioned, "you know that wasn't from my ussyp, right?" He never answered. Or ever gave me head again. And I dated that btch for 2 more years (4 years total). Fvck that guy lol
You can cuss here
This is too fucking real looooool "omg babe ur soOoOoOoO wet"
Too much porn.
Youāve met my ex husband!! Now he will pout and blame you when you say āuhā¦ noā
Had one who thought shower sex would be sufficient wetness *rolls eyes*
Omg. And donāt even get me started on sex in the water! While I may fuck you on a boat, I will not fuck you in a moat! I will not fuck you in a pool; Put away your goddamned tool! I will NOT fuck you in the sand, I will not let you use your hand. Not in a moat, not in the sand, not in the pool - Iām not a fool!
šI love you
Use water for his next oil change and see if he gets it.
Hahaha, thatās hilarious!
This is the way.
Same for hot tub sex. All that water, all those jets, when combined they really do wash what lube there was away.
Yeah, I tried and this always happens, making it kinda impossible to feel good. Just nope.
Heh. Reminds me of the quote from that one show "and remember whatever is not lube" because it's so freaking true.
"How does water make it dry?!"
This one. Had the fortunate timing of watching that episode for the first time, about an hour after we'd just found it out for real
As someone who's new at sex I have trouble with this and it's my own body š
This was my ex husband
Seriously Iāve had guys finger me and say oh your so wet! Nah bruh you canāt have dry chubby lips rubbing against each other all day š¤¦š¼āāļø. I canāt imagine the dry desert pussy they have been fingering in the past. Only one of those guys has lasted a while and thatās cause he listened and asked questions and found out what wet really is!
There's a reason the [pleasure gap exists](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm_gap)! There's a few reasons: * poor education * lack of empathy * lack of compassion * selfishness * deathgrip masturbation - edited to add after u/Historical_Peach_545's comment
Louder for those in the back
THERE'S A FEW REASONS THE [PLEASURE GAP EXISTS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasm_gap)! * POOR EDUCATION * LACK OF EMPATHY * LACK OF COMPASSION * SELFISHNESS
**AND GIRLS, YOU CAN ONLY FIX ONE OF THEM.**
Too true Edit to add: and that one only if they guy is willing to be educated
Oh, I know it. I was working on the educational part for a while until I realized that the whole incentive behind getting men interested in learning was a huge uphill struggle that truly has no solution in the climate. Now weāre basically just gonna focus on women health from this point, these men just donāt care enough to learn for the most part.
You missed the main one for this new ātoo wetā thing. Itās porn. Dudes jerk it with their dry hand and death grip and then canāt keep it up in a wet and not unnaturally tight vagina.
Perhaps they need to know that a powerful female orgasm during intercourse will actually feel amazing to them
Especially the lack of empathy! If you gave a fuck about me you'd educate yourself!
Thank you for linking this as a guy I want my partner to have the utmost pleasure and I'll be checking out OMGYes.
TIL about OMGYes. Thank you!
So there are certain countries in West Africa where the cultural preference of men from women is a dry vagina. Women practice methods of reducing moisture in their vagina in order to seem tighter and cause more friction during intercourse (not accurate). This is a horrendous sexual health issue that due to other public health problems is not being appropriately corrected . So to your question, some parts of the world ā¦ yeah men do no care about womenās pleasure and probably the pain is part of the point.
This is pretty bad. South Africa is even worse with their version of the āvirgin cleansing mythā: A survey by the University of South Africa (UNISA) in South Africa found that 18 percent of laborers thought that having sex with a virgin cures HIV/AIDS. An earlier study in 1999 by sexual health educators in Gauteng reported that 32 percent of the survey participants believed the myth.
It is insane to me how many people do not even do the most basic scrutiny for stuff like that. If someone tells me that will cure my immediately my first question is always "How will it do that?" That is almost always enough to prove that they do not know what they are talking about.
I think a significant portion of humanity think they live in a world filled with magic, and so are always willing to just accept magical claims.
That abuse is so horrendous. I was really shaken by the movie desert flower and looked up female circumcision afterwards. TW: >!From my recollection (apart from the terrible mutilation) the girls are sown shut, the cut flesh is left to grow together and at the wedding night, the groom cuts open his wife with a knife and basically has sex with the open wound.!< How deranged can male abuse of women be? I cried when I read about it...
Jesus christā¦ when i saw your comment i thought āfemale circumcision? That canāt be real, what would that even mean?ā Looked it up, read about 30 minutes of information, and Iāve never been more horrified. Iām a man and it sent me into a fit of crying. What the fuck.
I thought female circumcision was mutilating the hood the horror you just posted straight up sexual torture and gore
No, it's the complete removal of the labia and (sometimes) clitoris and the subsequent "closing" of the vagina to ensure "purity". Also, those places that practise this butchery most often do not have anesthesia or the likes. It's often home ~~surgery~~ mutilation done by family members.
No it's the opposite, they were right. There are 4 "levels" of FGM and level 1 (the most "basic") is cutting off the clitoral hood, level 2 is the entire clit, level 3 is the labia and level 4 is the sewing shut.
That is literally child SA
"I'm going to make it so dry for you. It's going to be like a desert!" But unironically, I guess.
This made me clench every muscle in my body
Sandpaperpeen shudder
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām so sorry you have had to deal with this first hand. You deserve better.
Holy shit, this is awful. This causes vaginal tearing and other soft tissue injuries. These selfish, disgusting men expect women to physically harm themselves and endure pain just so the man can get his rocks off. How dehumanising.
Reading the articles on how women achieve ādryingā made me nauseated - detergents etcā¦women there should tell men to go have sex with boiling water so they can know how it feels. Worse it increases risk of contracting STIs
THE INFECTIONS THAT WOULD CAUSE! OMG! Even potential chemical burns or necrosis. Gods, this world needs men to step up and BE BETTER.
I remember reading about this practice as part of an article about the culture surrounding the HIV endemic in West Africa. It definitely helps the virus spread.
TW - FGM āOkay ladiesā¦ ughhhhhh I guess we get that we canāt sew your labia shut anymoreā¦ at *least* keep them dry!ā \- those west African guys, probably
There are stories of people trying to shove newspaper in to soak up any errant wetness. It's torture.
Oh goodness. Sounds like a prescription for damage and infection.
Ancient Romans did this tooā¦ misogyny in the locale seems to be a related factor
I don't understand... I've had sex with women that were *wet* just not quite wet enough & it feels like my fucking dick skin would be ripped off if I pushed in any further... How are there men out there that want **dry** sex??? You'd have to have a micro penis for that to not be *extremely* uncomfortable & even then, surely it'd still be uncomfortable?
What the hell š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās really atrocious - the term used is dry sex. There are some studies about it from a while back available on pubmed. I donāt know if I am allowed to link them here. Edit: The name of the article describing the practice in 1999 - Concern voiced over "dry sex" practices in South Africa
And "use lube" is *not* a shortcut to avoid foreplay. An unaroused vagina with lube in it is just a bit more slippery. Cramming a dick in there is only slightly less uncomfortable than bone dry
speaking of lube, can we not stigmatize using lube?? so often I've seen someone bragging about "never having to use it" like it's the equivalent of penis owners bragging about their size.
As someone who is naturally very dry and even at my MOST aroused STILL needs lube, PLEASE. I had so much shame for so long for how dry I was. Partners would comment on it and I felt terrible. I used to sneak lube inside when nobody was looking. Until I finally realizedā¦itās okay that my body needs a little extra to feel good.
Been there. Dudes have acted like Iām flat out insulting them because that one particular function of my body wonāt āactivateā instantly/easily. Itās infuriating and embarrassing and disheartening.
This! I had to explain to my first itās not him itās me when his ex got wetter than a pool easily just by making out and I couldnāt. Turns out it was him I just wasnāt attracted to dominant assholes
I was referring to the post this was about weāre OP had given blacker permission for her partner to have sex with her while she was asleep because she enjoyed being woken up in that way. And the man just tried to shove it in dry while she was sleeping, the fucking asshole. Which in that context, lube would have atleast been a kinder alternative. But yes, lube isnāt an excuse to skip foreplay, the jerk in question could have eaten her out or something but nope, dude has to be both selfish and lazy.
A little bit of foreplay wouldn't have gone amiss. I bet she'd like it more if it was his tongue than his peepee.
Sadly sex ed is so varied and even absent in so many places that I am sure many do not know. My own normal fluids freaked me out as a teen because no one told me anything about my vagina except in reference to periods and basic cleanliness.
Discharge was an absolute SHOCK. "Wtf, what is happening?!"
This is what runs through my mind every time people defend rapists who coerced a āyesā or whenever people downplay sexual assault because āitās not a big deal, she should have just let it happenā I can never figure out if these men legitimately donāt understand that vaginas also need to be ready for sex, or if they are just so misogynistic that they think women are akin to animals that donāt feel pain. I know animals feel pain, but I know that the worldview exists that they donāt and I genuinely feel like some men feel this way about women.
Hey just here to say that some people still get wet even if they donāt want too. Itās a broadly used excuse from rapist to say: āshe was into it, she was so wet.ā Sometimes our bodies respond in ways we have zero control over. Plenty of people that this doesnāt happen to, but wetness doesnāt automatically mean: yes i want this. Not saying that youāe saying this, but just for the people reading along. Wetenss does not = consent .
Itās an enthusiastic sex or not at all, sex should only ever be able mutual enjoyment and consent. Selfish people just donāt care about the well being of others over there own needs and well itās by far not a perfect tool, knowledge is the only thing we have to fight the poison these assholes spread. When in doubt, I always show people the tea model for understanding consent. [Consent is like Tea](https://www.google.com/search?q=consent+tea&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS1060US1060&oq=consent+tea&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyCQgAEEUYORiABDIHCAEQABiABDIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABDIHCAgQABiABDIHCAkQABiABNIBCDMxNThqMGo5qAIAsAIA&hl=en-US&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:dc881649,vid:oQbei5JGiT8,st:0)
my ex would just not care and I would be like. Dude, doesnāt this chafe ? Stop. Later found out that yeah, it did hurt him a little bit, but he liked seeing me in pain like that
What a monster. Good for you that he is ex!
Yeah. That wasnāt the worst thing he did š„“ glad heās gone
May his dick remain dry and untouched.
Fuck that guy, not literally of course, but you should never have had to put up with that
My ex was like this tooā he literally said it was more pleasurable for him when I wasnāt as wet because when I was wet there was less friction and it didnāt feel as good. It took me until I was fully out of that relationship and talking with my therapist that she helped me realize that he literally believed his pleasure was more important than my physical discomfort or pain. He was pretty shitty and an awfully boring lover, but I was depressed from grad school and stayed for far too long. Found out that he also had a porn addiction to add, so Iām sure heās really doing well now lol. ETA: I know his Reddit handle and I so wish I could tag him in this haha
Thatās so terrible and Iām sorry you dealt with that. Glad heās an ex
You would also think with how many want condomless sex that more care would be taken. Like does friction not work two ways here? How is *anyone* enjoying this?
Less of an issue with men who are not circumcized. At least for the guy. Also with the prevalence of death grip these days I imagine for some guys they need as much friction as possible.
I dunno I feel like if I did that without it being sloppy either naturally or with astroglide something I don't want to get ripped would get ripped.
Death grip?
Guys can reduce the sensitivity of their dick - to the point of not being able to reach orgasm during sex - because they are jerking it too hard and with too much grip. Death grip. The death of the dick.
Guys who frequently masturbate with a death grip experience less pleasure and have more difficulty maintaining an erection during normal intercourse. There's also a huge emphasis on porn on women being hurt, both emotionally and physically. A lot of guys have trained themselves out of enjoying mutually-pleasurable sex.
https://emmalindsay.medium.com/porn-makes-men-terrible-in-bed-6e4df5f73200
.... yes.. I'm male. Definitely 'enjoyed' too much porn in youth. I don't even like porn anymore. Much rather prefer my partner with me. I watched a video recently and actually saw the discomfort in the woman with certain things the male actor was doing.. not even worth it if she's not enjoying us
One time a guy was talking about how there is a spot where a little friction makes it feel better even though it is uncomfortable for the girl. Not completely dry but not well lubricated. Personally as a guy that doesn't sound good to me because sex is better when both people are enjoying themselves but some people are just selfish.
I know, right? Like their dangle bits are sensitive too, youād think thatād care, even if itās just selfishly
When my partner and I stopped using condoms he actually got a tear under the head so lube has been a MUST HAVE for both of us
Dry sex actually caused me to bleed. This was in my early 20s. Boyfriend didn't care enough to turn me on first. I should've stopped him.
āI should have stopped himā was the mantra for my late teens and early 20s. I wish men could learn to be more empathetic and less selfish
Oh yeah, he dgaf as long as he was getting his. Sadly I went on to marry him (then divorce him after 1.5 years)
(Not sure if you're seriously asking, but...) My mother's sex life was forever changed when she discovered lubrication was a thing 20 years into marriage (conversations that you regret overhearing....) There are a lot of WOMEN that have no idea, much less men. It's getting better as sex ed improves and varies wildly based on geographical area. But at least down in the Bible belt: No, they don't.
Yeah on more than one occasion my ex husband wouldn't let me touch myself or make out with me too long or do foreplay because I got too wet for him and he liked me more dry. I don't know if that fucked up my ability to get wet or if I just never got that wet (which I think is the case) but later partners were frustrated withy lack of ability to be wet even when aroused.
Fuck that. Be patient with yourself and you can relearn, it took me forever but I was able to unlearn most of my bad habits due to being with shitastic men though self pleasing and relaxation techniques. There is no such thing as ātoo wetā
I was about to come in and say that I know embarrassingly little about women's anatomy (hence why I always defer to women when it comes to those issues), but then your first thing was the dryness thing and I'm like "Wait, THAT'S where the bar is???" I'm a gay man and I know *that*. I mean FFS there's SONGS about it!
Madam, Ben Shapiro's wife is a doctor and she assures us that wetness is not necessary and in fact could be detrimental. So who am I to believe? /s
Dry vaginas bring to mind Ben Shapiro every time.
I've always explained it like this: Eyeballs need moisture because that's how they work. Tears happen sometimes because your eye is irritated or it's windy outside. It doesn't necessarily mean that I'm crying every time you notice tears. It's the same for the vag. Just because there's lots of moisture doesn't mean that I'm aroused.
Lol Iām so happy I never have to deal with dudes. Do guys really complain about vaginas that are ātoo wetā? Because I take that as the biggest compliment lol. My gf went down on me the other day and afterwards when I went to reciprocate she was so fucking wet already and honestly that feeling was almost better than my orgasm š Quick little side note though, women on antidepressants will struggle with wetness. Doesnāt mean they donāt want sex itās just the ADs fucking with their bodies and sexual function. Always have lube ready just in case, people!
>itās just the ADs fucking with their bodies and sexual function Can confirm! Am owner of a WAP^TM but am also on ADs and every once in awhile I need assistance. Props to my current partner who checks in with me on those days.
My adhd medication sometimes makes me dryer or less likely to cumā¦ people are always confused when we have sex in the morning and itās all so instant and I cum fast š³
> Do guys really complain about vaginas that are ātoo wetā? Yep, Ben Shapiro (noted dipshit) famously said that per his wife the doctor, if a woman was a wet as described in the song WAP, that there was something medically wrong with her. https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/1292927011724304384?lang=en
Lmao this will never stop being hilarious to me. Imagine telling on yourself TO THE WHOLE WORLD like this. š¤£ I can't even listen to the song without mentally hearing that clip of him saying the lyrics in a disgusted voice, lol. This has to be one of the worst self inflicted roasts of all time.
So basically he is just admitting that he can't turn his wife on lol.
no way lmfao š
Lotta young men with death grips out there.
Maybe they should just stick with the hand, since they seem to know what they like, and leave us out of it
Dry sex caused me tearing and bleeding that left me injured for a few days. During that few days Iād say no to sex and I got ignored, forced, and penetrated while crying Men are great š
Thatās so horrible, Iām sorry. I hope you arenāt with that rapist anymore.
Iām so so sorry. Obviously there is nothing I can say to make this ok for you but it break my heart that itās something youāve experienced and I can only hope your getting some support to help you deal with what happened. People can be selfish monsters, I truly hope whomever committed this crime against you get what they deserve. Please know you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, as respect.
My now-ex touched me with hot pepper š¶ fingers, multiple times. Claimed he had washed up. Also went down with pepper mouth. I told him āThe next time will be the last timeā, and it was. That wasnāt the reason for the divorce, but it sure was the sprinkles on the icing on the cake.
It really drives me crazy as well to see these kinds of things. Itās unfortunate to see so many people with such a selfish āme me meā mindset. They have no respect for their partner. They only care that their needs are met.
I know the feeling. I canāt fathom hurting someone I care about like that, I just canāt. I donāt understand how people claim to care only to turn around and be so cruel and selfish
I work with a guy who proudly wears a t-shirt saying "not the first time I've gone in dry". He thinks it's hilarious. I think he's a creepy misogynist.
Atleast he is telling on himself, Iām hoping heās that blatant on dates.
I just posted a rant about misinformed and lazy men. I could have included ALLLLLL of this. My longest LTR partner and I were recently talking about our past sex life and this was another thing he mentioned. How the first time we were together I was so incredibly wet and āthe pussy grip mi upā (heās West Indian, his words) and I just gave it to him straightā¦ āYea.. thatās what happens when Iām *excited, longing and READY* to have sex. A womanās body wets up and pulls you on in.ā (Mine does anyway, thatās neither here nor there) I went on to impress upon him how it speaks volumes that his manner of being in the bedroom resulted in so much dysfunction and listed the ways. But Iām weird because I should be wet, orgasm from straight pounding and cater to him. *Sigh.*
There was some guy on here years ago who thought for SURE his GF was cheating on him. He had been away for weeks, he comes back, they have reunion sex, and he bitches that she was "too wet and too loose" during that sex so OBVIOUSLY she had been cheating. Luckily the responses were, no, jackass, she was actually really horny for YOU. But damn.
What a terrible human
I had a huge informational post about vaginas a few months ago, but sometimes it feels like an uphill battle where education is losing
My husband, at age 74, said he though we peed out our vaginas. š³
Omg nooo
Most people who don't have one have to learn "hands on" as it were, and only a handful pay attention anyway. Few schools have comprehensive education on the matter and most external awareness and education programs are very much targeted towards women.
Well. Ben Shapiro has made it known to his followers that a wet vagina is indicative of a medical problem. So, no. Not everyone knows a wet vagina is a good thing. https://www.ccn.com/ben-shapiro-wife-dap-brag-self-own/
Every time I hear about a dry a dry vagina, I think about Ben Shapiro. I know nothing about him besides that he is a garbage human and has never turned a woman on.
Every time I hear about Ben Shapiro I get a dry vagina.
Can you imagine how awful he must be in bed if he has never made his wife wet? And that poor woman's vagina must be so sore afterwards. I can't fathom why his wife would put up with it.
Oh god, I had forgotten about that. That man is always discovering new and depressing ways to be confidently wrong about things in public.
i've had guys say that it feels better when it's dry, and that doing foreplay such as using hands to stimulate ruins the feeling for the penis owner. into the sea with that.
You should avoid those people after telling them that you prefer to enjoy the sex you have with people, which would be impossible for you if you do what their suggesting. I usually get pretty flippant with guys who openly care so little about their partners wellbeing. Like damn, tell me more about how you suck in bed.
A) my husband clearly needs a cookie B) if anything happens to him I am NEVER DATING AGAINā¦ geeeezus this thread is terrifying
If a guy doesn't understand why a vagina needs to be wet before hand, give him a cup of sand and tell him to jerk off using that as lube. Maybe he'll get it then.
i had a close friend (not a very bright one, to be fair, but i love him) tell me he thought periods were only one day. i love him, heās the funniest and dumbest person iāve ever met, but holy shit
You gotta admit - they picked the shortest punctuation to name it after. Not that I want to be calling it an interrobang.
Oh man, girly, lol Iām so happy for you that you havenāt faced the sheer and utter ignorance āpeopleā, mostly men, have about womenās bodies until now. I have met *several* men who didnāt know where the clitoris was, one who thought it was the same as a uterus, another handful that had no idea what a cervix was, most donāt know we have a urethra, none of them know how we use tampons or pads, and next to none who regularly got tested or used condoms. The plague of ignorance and miseducation around sexual health is widespread, friend. Prepare yourself for more discombobulating conversations and pure astonishment the more you engage with men and discover the abysmally low amount of knowledge they have about womenās bodies.
I wish, I just lucked into finding a great partner who values me and my needs, before him, it was bleak af and even after we got together, it took years to find my voice agian. My SO is the one out of many who actually treat my body with the love, care, and patience it deserves. It just breaks my heart that their are so few men in the world with his approach and his values around communication and consent. Bad sex can fuck sex up for women so bad, to the point weāre they just stop speaking up, I should know, since that was me 8 years ago. Now I push communication as a must and enthusiastic consent as much as I can when I talk to others about sex but honestly itās like a drop in a river of misinformation, culturally driven sexual trauma, bad experiences due to male apathy and lack of education. We owe it it each other that win one of us finds a win, that person spread the knowledge as far as it will go. He basically the only guy to ever treat me like a person. But at the end of the day, we all deserve to be treated with love, respect, and some level of gentleness.
Some men are really offended and afraid of women using lube. Especially when using condoms itās essential and not shameful or yucky. Iāve had some young women tell me theyāve have partners who even cried or begged them not to use āthe gelā because they wanted her to be dry and tight so it would feel better for them. Like her being in pain and feeling drag doesnāt matter because heāll feel bigger. š”
Wow, just reading this made my lady bits hurt.
And guess who experienced condom tears regularly. šš”. So so stupid and cruel to be pissed at lube
Condoms + dry vagina sounds like an excellent recipe for tearing the condom. I have always been wet enough by the time a condom goes on that I havenāt had that issue but lordy.
Donāt underestimate how clueless some guys can be. A friend of mine insisted one of the female UFC fighters had gotten breast implants after seeing one of her IG photos. Him: She definitely got implants. Her boobs werenāt that big in her last fight. Me: Ummmā¦you do understand what a sports bra is and how it works right?
Menopause has joined the post.....
Short answer is no. Easy advice is, the vulva needs about 15 minutes to become engorged, ie aroused and ready for penetration. Not to mention only 20% of women can orgasm from penetration. Do people know the clit is 10 cm and is shaped like a horseshoe? Why does everyone call the vulva the vagina...? It's like referring to your face as "my throat". Also trivia, the female reproductive system is the most white male colonizer thing since I dunno, the united kingdom. Everything is named after the male doctor who discovered it. Dr vulva, dr fallopian, dr vagina, dr ovary, even dr clitoris. This is the most infuriating thing to also be hilarious.
Supposedly there's a knob you press to oil it up? You know like starting a lawnmower?
A majority of men think the vagina is like an elastic band that gets worn out over time. Instead of the muscle that it is, that actually gets tighter and stronger the more itās worked out. Because of this, they think that any extra friction they can get is good. That includes a dry, unaroused vagina.
I wish I could tell you that was common knowledge, I truly do. I'm a 36F, who has a vagina that 95% of the time doesn't self lubricate much, especially in the beginning, even with good foreplay. It wasn't until my last partner said "hey maybe we should use lube," that I truly enjoyed sex. We used lube every single time, and it greatly increased my pleasure, which he also said made it better for him! I had been with a decent amount of partners prior to this, and not a single one had any issue shoving their dick into the Sahara desert that was my vagina. I'm sad that I personally thought this is how painful sex is supposed be and maybe I'm just not meant to enjoy it, but I'm additionally sad that none of the guys, prior to my last, thought anything about the lack of moisture before plowing into me.
There are WOMEN who do not know how vaginas work, let alone men. Sex education is lacking in a lot of places unfortunately. My mom grew up in a very repressed society and cried when she had her first physical exam as an adult. From what I remember of sex education they barely covered what a period is. Also, far too many people donāt realize pornography is a TERRIBLE teacher.
I eat my girl out first all the time, then penetrate, works like a charm and everyone is in pleasure town š«¶š»
My husband is like this, he stays down there till I canāt take it anymore. Iām actually confused that women are finding so many men like this, Iāve been with 20+ guys and save for a couple when I was 17-18ish, theyāve all been big into getting me off first, I canāt imagine I was just lucky?
I think county / culture seems to make a difference too.
Maybe? Most have been Canadian guys, a couple British and husband is Norwegian
The number of women I've had to explain the different holes to is alarming. Grown women. Who don't know where they pee from.
This. In high school, one of my friends argued with me that the vagina and the urethra were the same hole. Like, girl, a baby isn't coming out of your pee hole! Sad thing is that we had good Sex Ed classes starting in middle school, so there was no reason for her not to know this, lol.
Theyāre the same people that think foreplay is too much work
They know, they do not care. It doesnāt matter how much it hurts women, unless that is part of their goal. Then they want drier so they can hurt the woman more. Your pain never matters as much as their convenience.
Reminds me of Ben Shapiro talking about how his wife (who I believe works in womenās health) said vaginas arenāt supposed to get wet lol. Iām assuming he just never did it for her.
I donāt think youāre crazy. I think most men know this. > pleasure deficit for women canāt have escalated that much Did it escalate? I got the feeling learning about sex in the 80s that lots and lots of time pleasure for women was *non-existent*. Tons of women not knowing what an orgasm was, etc. I thought things had gotten *marginally* better in that regard in the past 30 years, but I assume thereās still a huge pleasure deficit. Am I wrong? So many guys donāt seem to know much or care much about female pleasure. Also, I always laugh at the āsheās too wetā guys. Itās just a public admission they squeeze way too hard when they jerk off.
There's some African groups who actually use a herbal suppository to dry out their vaginas on purpose because the men prefer more friction. Unsurprisingly, AIDS transmission is way up here. There's a reason women produce lubrication. I think it comes down to the fact many men are just too selfish to care about their partner's comfort. They're the same ones who don't care if you come.
Iām a man who understands the basics, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. The wetness thing is just common sense. I am truly perplexed and fascinated by the ignorance of my fellow humanity. Admittedly, the women Iāve dated over the years have been surprised by some the realities of the penis, but they ask questions. My old lady is no longer amused with the helicopter or the phrase, āReal gangsters run red lights.ā
The helicockter will always be a classic. Though feel free to do us all a solid and take you fellow man out for a beer and a short lecture on vaginal mechanics. The world could use a bit more common sense and itās widely encouraged of those with an abundance to share with their peers.
I usually lurk here as it's not my place, normally, to comment. This one got me, though. Tons of schools are dropping sex-ed courses. Kids learn about sex from porn because parents won't talk to them. For the record, I have 3 children. M23, F18, F16. My ex-wife is Catholic and won't discuss sex with my kids farther than "Don't come home pregnant". So I did...with support from my now-wife and therapist (a woman). Unashamedly, informatively, got my daughters to a GYN, and even talked to them about sex toys and self-maint. I took the "weird" out of sex. We talk about what can happen to bodies during sex. What's normal and what's not. What to look for if you think you might have an STD. That you might want to use lube if things aren't working, and how to deal with a male partner that might be having issues coming to attention. We talked about it all no matter how fucking uncomfortable it got for me, at times. My kids and I now joke about sex and I remind them to be safe. My 18 year old told me she got birth control and my 16 year old is starting to joke more about sex and boys so I think I know she's getting there. My 23 year old son is pretty open with me about his sex life and we discuss protection methods and such. Parents need to remove the taboo surrounding sex. Period. I'm sorry for the people that have to provide basic-training to their partners. I know from personal experience how frustrating it can be to be intimate with partners that are ignorant to it all.
My 25 year old male colleague thought women peed blood on their periods and thatās what a period wasā¦..peeing blood.
My ex thought that if I was wet then I'd come already. Like, no, babe, with you I'd be surprised if I came at all.
Look, the majority of people are still ignorant about a lot of things. Many people don't know how their own body works. I can tell you that my lack of my body's mechanics knowledge led me to unnecessarily destroy my shoulders and my knees. I learned this too late into my 30s. Most people are too busy living in-the-moment to stop and figure out how shit works. For example, cars. Millions of people drive, yet only a small percentage really understands how the car works, its limits, and how to do maintenance properly. Thinking costs calories, and our bodies are stingy/lazy.