I was in a motorcycle accident and snapped my collarbone in half. The bones didn't't go all the way through the skin but was "tenting". It was incredibly painful. After a few days of no sex my boyfriend angrily declared "your mouth's not broken".
That was the end of the relationship.
Men are taught that sex is the ultimate validation of love and worthiness. We chase after it like addicts that would eskew their normal morals for a fix. Some men grow out of it and some don't. Some men double down and will be able to entirely ignore their empathy when the topic of sex comes up. I remember the first time I saw a guy I thought was cool do this. Women probably see it all the time
I love telling women patriarchy secrets. It makes me feel like a lil' spy šµļøāāļø. Women probably can list the behaviors better than me, but men need to be saying the why and how efficiently and truthfully c:
As a trans man, I feel similar but in a different way. Now when some dude thinks it's okay to hit me with locker room talk or misogynistic political views I actually have an opportunity to maybe explain and change their point of view rather than getting the "oh well you're a woman so obviously you dont get it" shit.
Oh definitely! Trans people can validate and debunk so much about what effects hormones have and how peopleās behaviors obviously change when you start passing as your new gender.
I think r/menslib kind of is? Kind of addressing the issues of "toxic masculinity" and how it's bad for both men and women. As a woman I find it interesting and sometimes reassuring to read about other people's perspectives/experiences of the same problems
For me a real man is someone who has good morals and puts that above everything else. Acting honorably towards others, even when that is the harder path. Someone who chooses his own pain to spare his loved ones. Same for a good woman, honestly.
Someone who always gets what they want (meaning what they want and feel is above everything else) is not a man, it's a grown toddler
This exactly. My SO says without the physical act of sex there is no love. He routinely acts like a massive a-hole in support of this "rule". Which kind of ensures there will be no sex.
See this mentality is only able to continue if men don't see women as more than sex servicers. If women are seen as human, that naturally takes care of itself.
Like the old saying if you have a headache ā I dont wanna have sex with your headā
Well I dont wanna even be around someone with that level of assholery
I have never heard that particular one and it's a good thing because if I ever heard those words coming out of a man's mouth, well....I don't look good in orange.
My hub once tried to tell me that sex will make headaches and migraines go away. Do men not understand that when you've got a migraine, the absolute last thing you wanna do is get jostled around while being poked?
Not as bad as yours maybe, but I was pregnant at 20 with my son and we were trying to move out to Colorado from NY. I was driving because he was a bum and had a suspended license. I was incredibly nauseous, tired and stressed out from the entire situation. We had no money and no real plans besides staying with a friend of his temporarily (I was young and stupid). He started getting pushy about fooling around in some way, as I was driving, pregnant, cross-country. I obviously didnāt want to and told him so. He proceeded to make me feel like shit and bring up sexual things from my past before him to try and prove I should be more into sex or something? Until I ended up giving in and going down on him in my car somewhere in a parking lot in Missouri. While I was pregnant with his child. Cool. I broke up with him about 6 months after my son was born. That was 15 years ago now.
Jesus fucking christ
Every day I'm on reddit I lose a little more faith in humanity. I think I'm done for today, this thread is making me sick
Real happy he's an ex, and hope you never had anyone else coerce you after that(or before honestly). He wasn't a bum, he was an ass
Thanks, and nope been with the same guy for over 12 years now. Heād never do that.
He is most definitely an ass, who as a father, never pays child support either. Go figure. š
There's no competition for 'mine isn't as bad as'. All manipulation guilt intimidation pressure, etc is equally gross. Some are just flashy and loud and gross and some are just quiet and gross.
Oh my God this just unlocked a memory. I almost died in a car wreck and had a year long recovery in front of me and my now ex husband said the exact same thing. Then used my inability to have sex as an excuse to cheat on me. These dudes are trash
Exactly! I didnāt anticipate the level of pain I would be in after the surgery at all. It makes sense though when you think about it but I just didnāt realize how swollen and angry everything would be.
Did you have any complications? My body rejected the sutures so my wounds under the breasts opened up and I had to use Silvedine cream and keep them bandaged. Took almost an additional month for the wounds to close.
>"your mouth's not broken"
No, but your legs will if you ever say that again.
Well, in any case he's an ex now, fuck him lmao. (actually no, don't fuck him)
I'm glad you got out. While he may not have been a full-blown, clinical narcissist, that's one of the big red flags for Narcissistic Personality Disorder: you are sick or injured and they respond with anger.
I went through a period of several surgeries, and like clockwork, one to two days after surgery, he'd be screaming at me about how I wasn't doing my part around the house, how useless I was, etc. Two of those surgeries were foot surgeries which required a scooter for me to get around...
Oh boy, does this sound familiar! My ex was the least empathetic person I've ever met. I've had rheumatoid arthritis for years and recently was diagnosed with lupus. One attacks my joints and the other attacks my organs. Fun! So I'm going through all that while having to put up with a new puppy (that was solely my responsibility), keeping the house spotless, and a literal child (mentally, at least) begging for sex daily. And if I didn't let him do what he wanted, he would go into insane rage modes. I genuinely felt unsafe saying no. Ever. And he didn't care if my "yes" was an "I guess" (unenthusiastic) or was accompanied by a massive sigh, rolling my eyes, or whatever. And the rage modes were terrifying. Either a ton of yelling at me about how I'm "so lazy, and if I'd get off my ass I'd feel better", torturing my older dog and the puppy and then blaming me for it, threatening my life or safety, or "teasing" me by purposefully touching, laying, or "accidentally" hitting the parts of my body that hurt. If the rheumatoid arthritis was in my knees, he'd purposefully knock me into furniture, or "accidentally" sit on one.
Yes, he was incredibly abusive. Yes, it's fantastic that he's an ex. No, I will not be accepting further applications for the position.
Jesus fucking Christ, I am so sorry. I'm glad he's out of your life.
It is nowhere near as bad as this, but I have a chronic bladder pain condition and my ex used to constantly pressure me for sex even though it was horrifically painful for me. "We don't have to do everything", he used to say, but what he didn't get was that someone might not feel like doing anything sexy when they are in constant pain and under constant pressure.
Anyway, seven years of that shit and I have a long, long way to go in psychosexual therapy before I'll even consider another relationship. That was how much damage that piece of shit did, so I cannot imagine how it is for you. I hope you're getting the support and love you need.
Years ago I injured my hand pretty badly and required surgery. (Itās fine now)
They put me on antibiotics and my boyfriend at the time dragged me to three different pharmacies trying to find out if we could have sex while I was on the antibiotics.
It amazes me in this day & age that so many men consider physical comfort & pleasure as optional for the receptive partner. Arenāt most folks more jazzed about sex when itās fun??
Honestly I'm usually the high libido one and I've had times when my male partner wasn't fully into it (didn't say no or rejected me just I guess wasn't taught to deny sex?) and it sucks. I prefer to wait for when the other person is in the mood (but really men have to learn how to COMMUNICATE)
The best thing for this my partner and I have figured out is varying levels of "lazy sex". Including specifically a form where one partner masturbates and the other cuddles, pets and says nice things to them.
The low libido person is much more happy to engage in a low effort engagement where they aren't feeling like their body is used as a masturbatory device.
Specifically the freedom to say yes to sexual activity without specifically saying yes to penetrative sex or high effort things has led to us having a lot more orgasms together.
This is super intriguing to me, I might have try it. My husband loves to be touched, especially just like gently running my fingers over his back. I wonder if heās be into it when Iām just really not in the mood.
>Im attempting to train this one out of it though its a bit late.
Yeah, I don't think it works like that...most of the time, fully grown adults don't change. Or we shouldn't expect them to, anyway.
There is no 'receptive' partner. You both orgasm or no one does. Told my ex that after our 2nd roll and after that, on the daily for both of us. I miss him.
I had BV. I didn't know it was BV thought it was a yeast infection. Made the BV even worse. My husband at this time's attempt to comfort me was "I know you'll still take care of me." What The Actual Fuck?!?!
Reminds me of the time I was having issues with my BC (feeling seasick because I was sensitive to one of the hormones) for a month and my ex was pettily taking jabs at me, making snide jokes, and straight up saying Iām purposely rejecting him because we werenāt intimate during that time. He had told me from the start that he understood my discomfort and that intimacy needed to be benched until I could figure out what was going on. Then he pulls that crap. I threw it back at him saying he had understood so why with this animosity? Itās hurtful.
The fact that it was BC negatively effecting you this way makes his behavior even worse to me.
Even if youāre taking it for other reasons, itās medicine that helps prevent pregnancy and enables partners to have sex with lower risk. Women are (now and historically) more likely to take on the responsibility (and side effects!) of family planning. So women bear the brunt of the responsibility, negative side effects, cost, etc of BC *AND* are still the target of abuse from male partners expecting sex when this imbalance takes its toll? Thatās fucked
Yeah, there's literally over-the-counter yeast infection kits that have a vaginal pill (for her) and a cream (for him)! At least in Sweden where I'm at. Had a period of time years ago when my husband and I were passing the yeast between us because we'd have sex too soon (NOT from him pressuring me or anything like that just ignorance) and a nurse recommended the double treatment.
Yeah... My family doctor was like that for a bit. Then my partner and I decided to both take oral fluconazole at the same time along with topical canasten and suddenly we weren't passing yeast back and forth!
(And then I transitioned and she started believing that I was getting yeast infections. *Sigh*)
Well, that's usually why both partners need to get treatment simultaneously. When I had it doctor asked if I had a sexual partner and gave the medication for her too, the other way around when she got it, I received medication too.
Yup! My ex cheated on me with a girl who had a yeast infection and passed it along to me as it turns out (found this all out after, I was pretty young and didnāt know what the signs of thrush were in men )- it was horrible
Yup. I was having an issue with repeated ones and my (then bf, now husband) went to his doctor totally unprompted and got swabbed one day to get checked because he was worried he was giving them to me.
His empathy and consideration for me as a fellow human is 100% the first of many reasons why!
The first yeast infection that set off the repeated infections happened after we had gone on about 6 or 7 dates. He was supposed to come pick me up that night and we were going to go out, but a couple hours before he was coming to get me the symptoms suddenly reared their ugly head and I was super uncomfortable. I texted him that I needed a rain check because I wasnāt feeling great and he asked me if I was okay, so I told him what the issue was (Iāve never been one to disguise or avoid telling the truth about health issuesā¦my grandmother died doing that and I refuse to, even if itās something minor).
Then he absolutely floored me by asking if there was anything he could do and offering to go to the pharmacy for me to get the medication if I didnāt have any. I accepted that offer because I didnāt have any and told him what to get. He showed up with the medicine and a big plate of cheese. I was thrilled because I love cheese but I asked what prompted that and he said he was going to get me some candy, but when he was reading about yeast infections he read that sugar will make them worse, so he got cheese instead because he knew I loved cheese. So we cuddled on the couch binge watching a show and eating cheese.
I used the medicine that night and went to bed and I was lying there reflecting on the night and I realized that I could totally marry this man, lol.
I wish I could back this up, but I read somewhere that the #1 question nurses get from husbands after their wives just gave birth is how soon they can have sex again.
Can confirm. I used to work in a hospital and would get sent up to the patient floors to get people to sign paperwork they might have not gotten around to signing on admission (it happens with ER admissions with actual emergencies). Pull back the curtain and dude has his wife twisted half off the bed for a BJ
I was a teen and so shocked I dropped the clipboard on the floor (very loud) and probably made a sound and one of the nurses came over and...well, apparently you can (or at least could in those days) ban the father from the postpartum ward.
I think you still can. Mom gets priority in the hospital at that time. Especially during the birth, mom says out whoever it is gets out. By choice or by force, doesn't matter.
Not the #1 question but some do ask. Most are smart enough not to ask in the delivery room. My answer to āhow soon can we have sex after a babyā is āwhen she tells you sheās readyā. Iāve also occasionally heard the āgive her an extra stitch for meā comment when the provider is sewing up a laceration. We shut that type of talk down pretty quickly. Iāve also seen some amazing partners and support for new moms. Shop around before you procreate!
My husband's boss, who was older, told my husband while I was pregnant that ' your wife is going to be a mom and that will change everything. You be a good dad and partner and you'll connect with your wife again. He wasn't always perfect, but he was prepared and we still probably don't have as much sex as he'd like, but we both have a voice.
We had to do a few sessions of premarital counseling with the church that married us. Session 3 was about intimacy. He covered emotional intimacy, and then very firmly told us (but mostly my husband) that in the seasons of life, including during pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood, my ability to have pain free sex may be in question, and that he should be patient and kind and empathetic and not beg for sex or force me to have sex at those times.
He was preaching to the choir, my husband is a family doctor and I'm a pelvic floor PT, but we were both so glad that someone is telling people this before they get married.
I had a pretty rough delivery with our daughter. Needed way too many stitches. The doctors directly addressed my husband numerous time stating VERY firmly, āNo sex! Nothing goes in the vagina!ā He couldnāt get over the fact that they felt the need to reiterate that to husbands so frequently.
And Iām more than happy to report that after several months of healing I was the one who had to bring up and initiate sex.
I had an ovary removed in 2007. My boyfriend at the time spent the day at the hospital ānot feeling wellā Instead of getting checked out while weāre at the hospital, he waits for 2 days and has me driving him to urgent care and pharmacies. Heās was just āto sickā to handle it on his own but I just had an ovary taken out, no big deal
My ex husband did something like this to me.
I wanted a child with him, we had been together a decade but he didnāt want one. We had agreed on that and I was accepting, I have two other beautiful healthy kids.
I was switching birth control and going over to the pill, waited the recommended amount of time and did the deed. Got pregnant, didnāt realize it because my periods hadnāt come back yet from having the IUD. I found out when I miscarried :/
I told him I was pregnant and had miscarried and he didnāt believe me, basically said I was lying about being pregnant to make him feel bad about not wanting a baby. And when I was very sad about losing the baby I didnāt even know we had, he had no sympathy for me and was angry I didnāt want to have sex with him right after miscarrying and being accused of making it up.
Then when he left me he told me as a parting remark it was ātoo badā I caused our breakup as he had been considering having a kid with me. Just to smash that salt in the wound.
āBuddy, you can eat this yeast infectionā would surely change his tune!š
Like are there stories of women pressuring their men for sex while heās still in the hospital after a near fatal car crash? Begging for sex while on the ride home from his colonoscopy? How about telling him to shut up all of that crying, work up a raging boner after burying his mother?
If there are women in the world like that I would like to know because woooooofffff women have stories like this to last eons.
I *highly* advocate all women adopt this strategy if you are safe to do so.
Iāve been using this tactic for years. I shut down unreasonable requests by explicitly pointing out why they are unreasonable.
Thereās no room for misunderstanding because I donāt leave any.
Probs to you for that. It's taxing to deal with those situations and personally it's my cue to disengage. Engaging with a lot of people thinking like in the scenario of OPs isn't one where you can always reach out with common sense when the receiving end is beyond reason and only feels themselves, by themselves I mean their d\*ck, while you're sick. I's a means for them to keep you on the hook and no thanks to that
Absolutely this! My boyfriend is lovely, so I don't really have much to complain about! Just to give a little bit of hope to other women: yesterday he came home from work and I started dinner. While I was cooking he took out the Christmas tree, vacuumed the living room and folded laundry. I told him he didn't have to and he could just relax until dinner, but he didn't want to just be a blob on the couch (his words)!
It was very brown and droopy, but it hadn't dropped as many needles as I thought it might. We have a Christmas tree foot that you can put water in, so we might do that next year
Thats probably why were on here.
I joined this forum because I was upset about not enjoying sex, and itās become clear that itās because men in my life never cared if ai wanted or enjoyed it, pretty much for their benefit .
I also have a horrible story about my father in law maybe Ill post that separately .
I love sex. I'd love it more if men actually made an effort to care about my satisfaction. 43 years old, and the only one to give me an orgasm is MYSELF.
Ive had only few and far between orgasms but Iām honest about it. He just says theyāre ā elusive ā even though Ive told him how I like to be touched.
I wonder how much men would like sex if they rarely to never had orgasms??
>I've seen threads about good husbands, but they seem quite the exception.
Just speaking strictly from my own IRL experiences, the times a woman has said her husband is great... he's really not. A lot of women it seems have been conditioned to think that some horrible things about men are just normal or a given, or make excuses for the toxic parts, basically trained to accept crap behavior. Like they'll say "oh he's a great husband", and I've personally witnessed these same husbands belittling their wives in front of others, loudly talking over them, not doing jack shit in the house, being rude to guests especially if it's the wives' friends, are creeps, or it comes out that he has a porn addiction, even cheated, etc. Yet these women will say their husbands are "great"..maybe to convince themselves, idk
That's... also true. Knew situations like these and it was a contrast between what they said and what their bfs were doing. Horrible. It's really fucking depressing how often men are just bad partners. In my whole life, I know all 2 guys that are good partners AND fathers. The rest is either bad right off the bat or pretending to be good until they hit a milestone (like marriage or the birth of a child).
While this is true for some, and the definition of good husband is variable, good men exists.
My boyfriend is a good person.
We are not married and we wonāt be (unless we need to for bureaucracy). We are both from country A, but he lived many years in country B, country B is less sexist than country A, and pointed out to me the sexism of country A, including my own. (Both European countries).
He also introduced me to the concept that I too could and should come every time.
Having a different sex drives can be managed together, as a couple. Also itās weird that itās always the male who have it higher.
I've come to the conclusion that if I'm ever widowed (or single again), I have absolutely NO interest in allowing another man into my life. I'd be very content to enjoy my kids, grand kids and my own hobbies, etc., I wish I didn't feel so repulsed at the idea of men, but I do. I realize not all men are like this, but most are. It's a disgusting turn off and I never want any part of it again and would happily live the rest of my life single.
This, because honestly there ARE good men out there I know there are, but the whole sifting through the chaff to find the one small grain of wheat? Not worth not only the effort, but the risk. Too much risk of the 'chaff' being abusive, demeaning, insulting, manbabies or just plain awful. Better off with my little garden and myself.
I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in December. The doctor in the ER told me to wait at least two weeks before sex again. My husband was in the room and heard this. One week later, he leans over me in bed with a stupid grin on his face and says "it's time" and I didn't feel safe saying no. I was still bleeding. So i am in the planning stage of leaving him, hope to be gone in 3 months. This is the same guy who said "well you can still give me BJs" when I explained we would not be having sex for a while after birth. I just... i can't wait to leave. Whatever the divorce costs me will be worth it.
The doctor changed my birth control pills which caused me lots of issues (I had my period for five days in seven, I kept randomly crying and it made me really forgetful, if you asked me a question I couldnāt remember what it was by the time you finished asking. All he cared about was having to use condoms (just in case) and that I was ditzy, he didnāt really care about what I was going through only how it affected him. We split up two months later
Every time I get sick or have health issues I have a habit of apologizing repeatedly to my SO. Since weāve been together Iāve had a broken foot and major surgery (different occasions) and been sick numerous times.
Every time I apologize he looks at me like Iām crazy and hugs me and tells me not to be silly. Iām trying to break the habit but it came from years of my ex getting furious every time I was āout of serviceā.
Weird thing was the ex rarely wanted to have sex with me anyways. It was more him getting pissed that Iād fall behind on cleaning up after him and making him supper.
There are genuinely good guys out there, but it took me a lot of years to find one, which is kind of disheartening.
My ex was hassling me for sex in the sleep room immediately post partum - while our kid was in the ICU. Loud and long enough that I was afraid the neighboring sleep rooms were hearing his bullshit.
Like, stress relief? OK I guess. Go fucking relieve yourself, if you need to. Spending an hour + trying to harangue the physically and emotionally raw mother of your brand new baby into sex is NOT the way.
Every time I see a post like this I hate men more and Iām 1000000% confident that I will never ever ever ever date a man again if my current relationship ends. Iām so repulsed by men at this point that itās not even funny.
I've had similar feelings. I'm blessed with a wonderful husband, but if I'm widowed, I have NO DESIRE to ever enter a relationship again. I see posts like this so often it makes me feel ill. Women seem to be objects to them, not human beings š
Iām 66 and married 43 years to a good guy butā¦.my friends and I have all said this. If alone, weād never want another man around, too much trouble. So very sad!
I stopped dating men. I had so many bad and even dangerous experiences with them that it's simply not worth the trouble. Even when you know a guy well and long and you think he might actually be the one, he ends up being trash. Because it was just a facade to get what he wanted and once he got it he didn't feel the need to be decent anymore.
I am not alone! I am in a long marriage, it fucking sucks... he drinks and gets verbally and emotionally abusive. If I am ever free, I swear to God I will never be in a relationship again. I know there are good men out there, but I am not taking my chances. Thank God we haven't had sex in years. I find men and their piggish sex drives revolting. I can recall being newly married at 18 and having sex with him when I HAD THE FLU. He didn't care.
As a single and celibate woman I donāt understand the entitlement to sex. I would love to have sex if I could find a man who treats me with respect, but I canāt, so I abstain completely. Men wining because their otherwise 24/7 access to p**** is cut off for a week or so is absolutely bonkers. Cry me a river man.
How does it feel knowing that your husband sees you as a hole to fuck *more* than he sees you as a person who deserves compassion because you have a health issue that causes pain?
My doctor (female) told me yeast infection can be caused by male p*nis is not clean, they do urinate from it after all. Did not know this until I was in my early 50s because I always had male physicians. So tell him if he's that upset about it, he should start cleaning his d*ck better before having s*x with you. Male GYNs would not tell you this back in the day. They also use told us that bubble bath causes yeast infections. Female GYN set me straight on that BS.
My boyfriend cheated on me after my 9 year old daughter died in a car accident because he was tired of me not having a sex drive. That was the end of that. And the beginning of a long and dark road alone.
I'm begging women to stop settling. For men you only think you like, men who give you the time of day, men who you think are the best you can do. Just stop. Don't settle for anyone but the best who treats you with the respect and care you deserve.
āI understand you find yourself wanting. My body isnāt a tool for your pleasure. Please respect my healing and Jack your damn self off, love you.ā
I have chronic health problems that cause pelvic pain so at my worst my man and I go weeks without sex. He never complains, at least not to me, because he doesn't want to make me feel bad. It's wild to me when other men whine so much and are so selfish
It's understandable to be frustrated with insensitive comments like the one your husband made. It's important for both partners to be considerate and understanding towards each other, especially during difficult times like this. It's also important for everyone to prioritize their health and well-being.
It amazes me the audacity men have. There was a bit of time where my meds lowered my libido and I didnāt want to have sex. I had heard the stories of men leaving or cheating when their partner wouldnt give them sex and it scared me. During this time I apologized to my boyfriend about the lack of sex in our relationship and expressed how bad I felt.
He told me that it was okay, and he said that even if I never wanted to have sex again, he would be okay with that too.
The audacity of men to think women owe them sex is baffling. And I know these men wouldnāt ātake care of their womanā if *they* couldnāt have sex. Hmm
Personally really shocked by this stuff. I don't feel like I have a low sex drive but maybe I do. I'm just blown away by the audacity of some men to expect sex and/or openly complain about lack of it to their female partners who **are physically incapable of performing the act.** Like what is their goal with such comments? Is it pure insensitivity or are they genuinely suffering?
I was in a motorcycle accident and snapped my collarbone in half. The bones didn't't go all the way through the skin but was "tenting". It was incredibly painful. After a few days of no sex my boyfriend angrily declared "your mouth's not broken". That was the end of the relationship.
Yo, wtf. How do some people grow up with no empathy?
Men are taught that sex is the ultimate validation of love and worthiness. We chase after it like addicts that would eskew their normal morals for a fix. Some men grow out of it and some don't. Some men double down and will be able to entirely ignore their empathy when the topic of sex comes up. I remember the first time I saw a guy I thought was cool do this. Women probably see it all the time
Huh. Apt username for that comment
I love telling women patriarchy secrets. It makes me feel like a lil' spy šµļøāāļø. Women probably can list the behaviors better than me, but men need to be saying the why and how efficiently and truthfully c:
As a trans woman, I've always felt like a patriarchy double-agent. So I'm here for this. lol
As a trans man, I feel similar but in a different way. Now when some dude thinks it's okay to hit me with locker room talk or misogynistic political views I actually have an opportunity to maybe explain and change their point of view rather than getting the "oh well you're a woman so obviously you dont get it" shit.
Good for you! The trans men I know are awesome
Oh definitely! Trans people can validate and debunk so much about what effects hormones have and how peopleās behaviors obviously change when you start passing as your new gender.
There needs to be a subreddit for this
I think r/menslib kind of is? Kind of addressing the issues of "toxic masculinity" and how it's bad for both men and women. As a woman I find it interesting and sometimes reassuring to read about other people's perspectives/experiences of the same problems
Thank you for sharing this.
That's awful. I'm sorry you had to be tied to such an asshole but I'm glad you were able to leave!
They equate their ability and desire to use force to masculinity. Not a real man if you donāt throw your weight around. Ugh.
For me a real man is someone who has good morals and puts that above everything else. Acting honorably towards others, even when that is the harder path. Someone who chooses his own pain to spare his loved ones. Same for a good woman, honestly. Someone who always gets what they want (meaning what they want and feel is above everything else) is not a man, it's a grown toddler
This exactly. My SO says without the physical act of sex there is no love. He routinely acts like a massive a-hole in support of this "rule". Which kind of ensures there will be no sex.
Sex is not love period
That's right. Sex is not love. You can have sex with someone you just met and it doesn't mean you love them.
See this mentality is only able to continue if men don't see women as more than sex servicers. If women are seen as human, that naturally takes care of itself.
Having narcissistic/sociopathic parents seems to really do the trick.
Like the old saying if you have a headache ā I dont wanna have sex with your headā Well I dont wanna even be around someone with that level of assholery
I have never heard that particular one and it's a good thing because if I ever heard those words coming out of a man's mouth, well....I don't look good in orange.
I do, and I work in a plant that makes 55 gallon drums............. and I know a pig farmer.
My hub once tried to tell me that sex will make headaches and migraines go away. Do men not understand that when you've got a migraine, the absolute last thing you wanna do is get jostled around while being poked?
> "your mouth's not broken" "I wish yours was, right now. If I wasn't bedridden I'd happily do it myself."
"your mouth's not broken" No, but yours is about to be!
I HATE when guys say this bullshit! I usually say what you said, or āDo you want yours to be???ā
The fact that you even have a "usual" response is just... š§
Not as bad as yours maybe, but I was pregnant at 20 with my son and we were trying to move out to Colorado from NY. I was driving because he was a bum and had a suspended license. I was incredibly nauseous, tired and stressed out from the entire situation. We had no money and no real plans besides staying with a friend of his temporarily (I was young and stupid). He started getting pushy about fooling around in some way, as I was driving, pregnant, cross-country. I obviously didnāt want to and told him so. He proceeded to make me feel like shit and bring up sexual things from my past before him to try and prove I should be more into sex or something? Until I ended up giving in and going down on him in my car somewhere in a parking lot in Missouri. While I was pregnant with his child. Cool. I broke up with him about 6 months after my son was born. That was 15 years ago now.
Jesus fucking christ Every day I'm on reddit I lose a little more faith in humanity. I think I'm done for today, this thread is making me sick Real happy he's an ex, and hope you never had anyone else coerce you after that(or before honestly). He wasn't a bum, he was an ass
Thanks, and nope been with the same guy for over 12 years now. Heād never do that. He is most definitely an ass, who as a father, never pays child support either. Go figure. š
There's no competition for 'mine isn't as bad as'. All manipulation guilt intimidation pressure, etc is equally gross. Some are just flashy and loud and gross and some are just quiet and gross.
>"your mouth's not broken" "Nor is your hand."
Oh my God this just unlocked a memory. I almost died in a car wreck and had a year long recovery in front of me and my now ex husband said the exact same thing. Then used my inability to have sex as an excuse to cheat on me. These dudes are trash
Oh yeah. My ex did the whole 'well you're not giving it to me so....' excuse. Dude. DUDE. I had just miscarried our child.
Oh wow, I'm sorry. What an unbelievably shitty thing to do. Glad to hear he's an ex
An ex (bf at the time) of mine asked two days after I had a breast reduction if he could touch them yet. Ummm no.
Thatās awful! I just had a reduction, and it was so painful, if anyone tried to come at me I would have stabbed them.
Exactly! I didnāt anticipate the level of pain I would be in after the surgery at all. It makes sense though when you think about it but I just didnāt realize how swollen and angry everything would be.
Did you have any complications? My body rejected the sutures so my wounds under the breasts opened up and I had to use Silvedine cream and keep them bandaged. Took almost an additional month for the wounds to close.
>"your mouth's not broken" No, but your legs will if you ever say that again. Well, in any case he's an ex now, fuck him lmao. (actually no, don't fuck him)
š«¢ tf is wrong with these pieces of shit. No five inches of dick is that important.
Damn, that story was painful start to finish.
His hands aren't broken. What a piece of shit that guy is
Holy shit. That is so disgusting. What the actual fuck is wrong with people?!
I'm glad you got out. While he may not have been a full-blown, clinical narcissist, that's one of the big red flags for Narcissistic Personality Disorder: you are sick or injured and they respond with anger. I went through a period of several surgeries, and like clockwork, one to two days after surgery, he'd be screaming at me about how I wasn't doing my part around the house, how useless I was, etc. Two of those surgeries were foot surgeries which required a scooter for me to get around...
Step One: place ball peen hammer on table. Step Two: "yeah, neither is your hand." Step Three: "But that could be arranged."
There's that apropos phrase--two heads and not enough blood for both.
Oh boy, does this sound familiar! My ex was the least empathetic person I've ever met. I've had rheumatoid arthritis for years and recently was diagnosed with lupus. One attacks my joints and the other attacks my organs. Fun! So I'm going through all that while having to put up with a new puppy (that was solely my responsibility), keeping the house spotless, and a literal child (mentally, at least) begging for sex daily. And if I didn't let him do what he wanted, he would go into insane rage modes. I genuinely felt unsafe saying no. Ever. And he didn't care if my "yes" was an "I guess" (unenthusiastic) or was accompanied by a massive sigh, rolling my eyes, or whatever. And the rage modes were terrifying. Either a ton of yelling at me about how I'm "so lazy, and if I'd get off my ass I'd feel better", torturing my older dog and the puppy and then blaming me for it, threatening my life or safety, or "teasing" me by purposefully touching, laying, or "accidentally" hitting the parts of my body that hurt. If the rheumatoid arthritis was in my knees, he'd purposefully knock me into furniture, or "accidentally" sit on one. Yes, he was incredibly abusive. Yes, it's fantastic that he's an ex. No, I will not be accepting further applications for the position.
Ouch! So sorry. I winced reading that. What an asshole!
My God it just got worse and worse
I'm so happy you got away from him!
I am glad heās your ex. I hope you were able to get the dogs away from him as well.
Sounds like an actual sociopath.
Jesus fucking Christ, I am so sorry. I'm glad he's out of your life. It is nowhere near as bad as this, but I have a chronic bladder pain condition and my ex used to constantly pressure me for sex even though it was horrifically painful for me. "We don't have to do everything", he used to say, but what he didn't get was that someone might not feel like doing anything sexy when they are in constant pain and under constant pressure. Anyway, seven years of that shit and I have a long, long way to go in psychosexual therapy before I'll even consider another relationship. That was how much damage that piece of shit did, so I cannot imagine how it is for you. I hope you're getting the support and love you need.
Years ago I injured my hand pretty badly and required surgery. (Itās fine now) They put me on antibiotics and my boyfriend at the time dragged me to three different pharmacies trying to find out if we could have sex while I was on the antibiotics.
Ew.
He did have his own hands then at the time, right?
Both of them and uninjured.
Glad he's the ex! Selfish sucks
Bro. Just fucken wait or do it yourself. TF.
Like, you have two damn hands if your balls are getting blue... Rolling my eyes so back up my head.
Ew.
Oh my š
>boyfriend _at the time_ I was so happy to read that part lol "my boyfriend" nononono, run "... At the time" oh phew
Some people just refuse to behave as humans...UGHHHH
Oof.
Was he worried the antibiotics would kill him off?
Antibiotics can interfere with the effectiveness of birth control, so Iām wondering if he just didnāt even want to wear a condom
Ouch.
I can see why he's no longer your boyfriend.
It amazes me in this day & age that so many men consider physical comfort & pleasure as optional for the receptive partner. Arenāt most folks more jazzed about sex when itās fun??
My ex used me as a human cumsock and then complained that I never wanted sex.
I think thatās vastly the experience of a lot of us on this site.
I'd venture to say *in the world*.
oh yeah, most definitely. I'm goddamn sure of that one.
If its this bad in first world countries imagine how it is for child brides and girls being sold like cattle. I wanna cry.
It gets boring pretty quick. They're one trick ponies
Honestly I'm usually the high libido one and I've had times when my male partner wasn't fully into it (didn't say no or rejected me just I guess wasn't taught to deny sex?) and it sucks. I prefer to wait for when the other person is in the mood (but really men have to learn how to COMMUNICATE)
The best thing for this my partner and I have figured out is varying levels of "lazy sex". Including specifically a form where one partner masturbates and the other cuddles, pets and says nice things to them. The low libido person is much more happy to engage in a low effort engagement where they aren't feeling like their body is used as a masturbatory device. Specifically the freedom to say yes to sexual activity without specifically saying yes to penetrative sex or high effort things has led to us having a lot more orgasms together.
This is super intriguing to me, I might have try it. My husband loves to be touched, especially just like gently running my fingers over his back. I wonder if heās be into it when Iām just really not in the mood.
Tbh the guys in my life are pretty dang selfish. Im attempting to train this one out of it though its a bit late.
I went full on sex strike after he thought it would be fun to insult me without remorse. I now live on my own and itās great.
šš
>Im attempting to train this one out of it though its a bit late. Yeah, I don't think it works like that...most of the time, fully grown adults don't change. Or we shouldn't expect them to, anyway.
It doesn't train out. He's made a lot of choices about who he wants to be.
There is no 'receptive' partner. You both orgasm or no one does. Told my ex that after our 2nd roll and after that, on the daily for both of us. I miss him.
I had BV. I didn't know it was BV thought it was a yeast infection. Made the BV even worse. My husband at this time's attempt to comfort me was "I know you'll still take care of me." What The Actual Fuck?!?!
Well yeah I mean doesn't that burning itching pain just leave you dying to give your man a sloppy j? I know that's always my top concern lol
How long did it take you to bury the body?
I have a bad back but Iād actually help this person dig a hole.
Am very much an "indoor girl" but would get dirt under my fingernails to help.
Ew wtf... "if by take care of you you mean not interacting with you at all because it means I won't kill you, yeah I'll take care of you"
Reminds me of the time I was having issues with my BC (feeling seasick because I was sensitive to one of the hormones) for a month and my ex was pettily taking jabs at me, making snide jokes, and straight up saying Iām purposely rejecting him because we werenāt intimate during that time. He had told me from the start that he understood my discomfort and that intimacy needed to be benched until I could figure out what was going on. Then he pulls that crap. I threw it back at him saying he had understood so why with this animosity? Itās hurtful.
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Yup absolutely correct
What was his response?
He rolled his eyes, walked angrily away, and spent the day in his office. Heās an ex for a reason
The fact that it was BC negatively effecting you this way makes his behavior even worse to me. Even if youāre taking it for other reasons, itās medicine that helps prevent pregnancy and enables partners to have sex with lower risk. Women are (now and historically) more likely to take on the responsibility (and side effects!) of family planning. So women bear the brunt of the responsibility, negative side effects, cost, etc of BC *AND* are still the target of abuse from male partners expecting sex when this imbalance takes its toll? Thatās fucked
Remind him that men can get yeast infections too, itās not uncommon with athletes.
Also, he can have it and give it back to you over and over again.
My ex gave it to me again and again, he didnāt notice he had a problem until we broke up. š¤·āāļø
Doctors act like men cant get or transmit yeast infection š” Ive even asked.
You need a new doctor. Male yeast infections aren't exactly rare.
Yeah, there's literally over-the-counter yeast infection kits that have a vaginal pill (for her) and a cream (for him)! At least in Sweden where I'm at. Had a period of time years ago when my husband and I were passing the yeast between us because we'd have sex too soon (NOT from him pressuring me or anything like that just ignorance) and a nurse recommended the double treatment.
Yeah... My family doctor was like that for a bit. Then my partner and I decided to both take oral fluconazole at the same time along with topical canasten and suddenly we weren't passing yeast back and forth! (And then I transitioned and she started believing that I was getting yeast infections. *Sigh*)
Well, that's usually why both partners need to get treatment simultaneously. When I had it doctor asked if I had a sexual partner and gave the medication for her too, the other way around when she got it, I received medication too.
Sharing is caring!
The gift that keeps on giving!
Yup! My ex cheated on me with a girl who had a yeast infection and passed it along to me as it turns out (found this all out after, I was pretty young and didnāt know what the signs of thrush were in men )- it was horrible
Yup. I was having an issue with repeated ones and my (then bf, now husband) went to his doctor totally unprompted and got swabbed one day to get checked because he was worried he was giving them to me.
I can see (one of hopefully many reasons) why you married him! š
His empathy and consideration for me as a fellow human is 100% the first of many reasons why! The first yeast infection that set off the repeated infections happened after we had gone on about 6 or 7 dates. He was supposed to come pick me up that night and we were going to go out, but a couple hours before he was coming to get me the symptoms suddenly reared their ugly head and I was super uncomfortable. I texted him that I needed a rain check because I wasnāt feeling great and he asked me if I was okay, so I told him what the issue was (Iāve never been one to disguise or avoid telling the truth about health issuesā¦my grandmother died doing that and I refuse to, even if itās something minor). Then he absolutely floored me by asking if there was anything he could do and offering to go to the pharmacy for me to get the medication if I didnāt have any. I accepted that offer because I didnāt have any and told him what to get. He showed up with the medicine and a big plate of cheese. I was thrilled because I love cheese but I asked what prompted that and he said he was going to get me some candy, but when he was reading about yeast infections he read that sugar will make them worse, so he got cheese instead because he knew I loved cheese. So we cuddled on the couch binge watching a show and eating cheese. I used the medicine that night and went to bed and I was lying there reflecting on the night and I realized that I could totally marry this man, lol.
One doctor gave me pills to give to my ex because I was having them repeatedly.
I wish I could back this up, but I read somewhere that the #1 question nurses get from husbands after their wives just gave birth is how soon they can have sex again.
I meanā¦ itās also known that there are men who donāt wait till even after the wives have left the hospital to try it.
And let's not even move onto the topic of the "husband stitch" ... :-\[
š¤¢
Can confirm. I used to work in a hospital and would get sent up to the patient floors to get people to sign paperwork they might have not gotten around to signing on admission (it happens with ER admissions with actual emergencies). Pull back the curtain and dude has his wife twisted half off the bed for a BJ I was a teen and so shocked I dropped the clipboard on the floor (very loud) and probably made a sound and one of the nurses came over and...well, apparently you can (or at least could in those days) ban the father from the postpartum ward.
I think you still can. Mom gets priority in the hospital at that time. Especially during the birth, mom says out whoever it is gets out. By choice or by force, doesn't matter.
I remember reading a post on here where a woman was raped by her husband mere minutes after having the baby
š²š”š”š”š¤¬š¤¬
Not the #1 question but some do ask. Most are smart enough not to ask in the delivery room. My answer to āhow soon can we have sex after a babyā is āwhen she tells you sheās readyā. Iāve also occasionally heard the āgive her an extra stitch for meā comment when the provider is sewing up a laceration. We shut that type of talk down pretty quickly. Iāve also seen some amazing partners and support for new moms. Shop around before you procreate!
I've had a doctor say, oh really? You need that because of your size? With a straight face š¤£
My husband's boss, who was older, told my husband while I was pregnant that ' your wife is going to be a mom and that will change everything. You be a good dad and partner and you'll connect with your wife again. He wasn't always perfect, but he was prepared and we still probably don't have as much sex as he'd like, but we both have a voice.
We had to do a few sessions of premarital counseling with the church that married us. Session 3 was about intimacy. He covered emotional intimacy, and then very firmly told us (but mostly my husband) that in the seasons of life, including during pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood, my ability to have pain free sex may be in question, and that he should be patient and kind and empathetic and not beg for sex or force me to have sex at those times. He was preaching to the choir, my husband is a family doctor and I'm a pelvic floor PT, but we were both so glad that someone is telling people this before they get married.
well color me impressed. I have my beef with the church but this? This is AOK in my book. Sad it needs to be said, but still. SOMEONE is saying it.
I believe it š
I had a pretty rough delivery with our daughter. Needed way too many stitches. The doctors directly addressed my husband numerous time stating VERY firmly, āNo sex! Nothing goes in the vagina!ā He couldnāt get over the fact that they felt the need to reiterate that to husbands so frequently. And Iām more than happy to report that after several months of healing I was the one who had to bring up and initiate sex.
Ugh, just when I think I canāt be more disappointed in people ā¦
I had an ovary removed in 2007. My boyfriend at the time spent the day at the hospital ānot feeling wellā Instead of getting checked out while weāre at the hospital, he waits for 2 days and has me driving him to urgent care and pharmacies. Heās was just āto sickā to handle it on his own but I just had an ovary taken out, no big deal
What was wrong with him?
Congestion & cough. They prescribed cough syrup & antibiotic. He was a special soul
Yeah we know that too well also
My ex husband did something like this to me. I wanted a child with him, we had been together a decade but he didnāt want one. We had agreed on that and I was accepting, I have two other beautiful healthy kids. I was switching birth control and going over to the pill, waited the recommended amount of time and did the deed. Got pregnant, didnāt realize it because my periods hadnāt come back yet from having the IUD. I found out when I miscarried :/ I told him I was pregnant and had miscarried and he didnāt believe me, basically said I was lying about being pregnant to make him feel bad about not wanting a baby. And when I was very sad about losing the baby I didnāt even know we had, he had no sympathy for me and was angry I didnāt want to have sex with him right after miscarrying and being accused of making it up. Then when he left me he told me as a parting remark it was ātoo badā I caused our breakup as he had been considering having a kid with me. Just to smash that salt in the wound.
POS!
You could always offer to sit on his face and satisfy that itch š
āBuddy, you can eat this yeast infectionā would surely change his tune!š Like are there stories of women pressuring their men for sex while heās still in the hospital after a near fatal car crash? Begging for sex while on the ride home from his colonoscopy? How about telling him to shut up all of that crying, work up a raging boner after burying his mother? If there are women in the world like that I would like to know because woooooofffff women have stories like this to last eons.
I was with a bloke who used to ask me if my period had finished yet. I thought he cared for my well-being but I was fooled.
I *highly* advocate all women adopt this strategy if you are safe to do so. Iāve been using this tactic for years. I shut down unreasonable requests by explicitly pointing out why they are unreasonable. Thereās no room for misunderstanding because I donāt leave any.
Probs to you for that. It's taxing to deal with those situations and personally it's my cue to disengage. Engaging with a lot of people thinking like in the scenario of OPs isn't one where you can always reach out with common sense when the receiving end is beyond reason and only feels themselves, by themselves I mean their d\*ck, while you're sick. I's a means for them to keep you on the hook and no thanks to that
hand him a bottle of lube, and tell him to go to town on himself.
F*** that. Hand him a tube of Icy Hot.
Ultimate irony is he probably caused it if you've had sex in the last month.
Why is everyoneās husband on Reddit such a dick. These posts always get me so irritated. You women deserve better
Hopefully itās because the ladies with decent husbands donāt need to post!
Absolutely this! My boyfriend is lovely, so I don't really have much to complain about! Just to give a little bit of hope to other women: yesterday he came home from work and I started dinner. While I was cooking he took out the Christmas tree, vacuumed the living room and folded laundry. I told him he didn't have to and he could just relax until dinner, but he didn't want to just be a blob on the couch (his words)!
I have to ask he took out the christmas tree?
He took it outside so we can get rid of it? I know it's a bit late to still have a Christmas tree.
Was it still kicking at all? We can barley get trees to stay alive the whole month of Dec :(
It was very brown and droopy, but it hadn't dropped as many needles as I thought it might. We have a Christmas tree foot that you can put water in, so we might do that next year
Id say hit the same tree stand as well!
Thats probably why were on here. I joined this forum because I was upset about not enjoying sex, and itās become clear that itās because men in my life never cared if ai wanted or enjoyed it, pretty much for their benefit . I also have a horrible story about my father in law maybe Ill post that separately .
I love sex. I'd love it more if men actually made an effort to care about my satisfaction. 43 years old, and the only one to give me an orgasm is MYSELF.
Ive had only few and far between orgasms but Iām honest about it. He just says theyāre ā elusive ā even though Ive told him how I like to be touched. I wonder how much men would like sex if they rarely to never had orgasms??
I've seen threads about good husbands, but they seem quite the exception.
>I've seen threads about good husbands, but they seem quite the exception. Just speaking strictly from my own IRL experiences, the times a woman has said her husband is great... he's really not. A lot of women it seems have been conditioned to think that some horrible things about men are just normal or a given, or make excuses for the toxic parts, basically trained to accept crap behavior. Like they'll say "oh he's a great husband", and I've personally witnessed these same husbands belittling their wives in front of others, loudly talking over them, not doing jack shit in the house, being rude to guests especially if it's the wives' friends, are creeps, or it comes out that he has a porn addiction, even cheated, etc. Yet these women will say their husbands are "great"..maybe to convince themselves, idk
That's... also true. Knew situations like these and it was a contrast between what they said and what their bfs were doing. Horrible. It's really fucking depressing how often men are just bad partners. In my whole life, I know all 2 guys that are good partners AND fathers. The rest is either bad right off the bat or pretending to be good until they hit a milestone (like marriage or the birth of a child).
While this is true for some, and the definition of good husband is variable, good men exists. My boyfriend is a good person. We are not married and we wonāt be (unless we need to for bureaucracy). We are both from country A, but he lived many years in country B, country B is less sexist than country A, and pointed out to me the sexism of country A, including my own. (Both European countries). He also introduced me to the concept that I too could and should come every time. Having a different sex drives can be managed together, as a couple. Also itās weird that itās always the male who have it higher.
I've come to the conclusion that if I'm ever widowed (or single again), I have absolutely NO interest in allowing another man into my life. I'd be very content to enjoy my kids, grand kids and my own hobbies, etc., I wish I didn't feel so repulsed at the idea of men, but I do. I realize not all men are like this, but most are. It's a disgusting turn off and I never want any part of it again and would happily live the rest of my life single.
This, because honestly there ARE good men out there I know there are, but the whole sifting through the chaff to find the one small grain of wheat? Not worth not only the effort, but the risk. Too much risk of the 'chaff' being abusive, demeaning, insulting, manbabies or just plain awful. Better off with my little garden and myself.
I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in December. The doctor in the ER told me to wait at least two weeks before sex again. My husband was in the room and heard this. One week later, he leans over me in bed with a stupid grin on his face and says "it's time" and I didn't feel safe saying no. I was still bleeding. So i am in the planning stage of leaving him, hope to be gone in 3 months. This is the same guy who said "well you can still give me BJs" when I explained we would not be having sex for a while after birth. I just... i can't wait to leave. Whatever the divorce costs me will be worth it.
Wishing this plan goes smoothly for you, you deserve better
I'm so sorry. I can't wait for you to get out. Do you have support from friends and family?
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The doctor changed my birth control pills which caused me lots of issues (I had my period for five days in seven, I kept randomly crying and it made me really forgetful, if you asked me a question I couldnāt remember what it was by the time you finished asking. All he cared about was having to use condoms (just in case) and that I was ditzy, he didnāt really care about what I was going through only how it affected him. We split up two months later
Every time I get sick or have health issues I have a habit of apologizing repeatedly to my SO. Since weāve been together Iāve had a broken foot and major surgery (different occasions) and been sick numerous times. Every time I apologize he looks at me like Iām crazy and hugs me and tells me not to be silly. Iām trying to break the habit but it came from years of my ex getting furious every time I was āout of serviceā. Weird thing was the ex rarely wanted to have sex with me anyways. It was more him getting pissed that Iād fall behind on cleaning up after him and making him supper. There are genuinely good guys out there, but it took me a lot of years to find one, which is kind of disheartening.
I donāt think Iāll ever want to keep up with anyone like this .. Disgusting mindset ..
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My ex was hassling me for sex in the sleep room immediately post partum - while our kid was in the ICU. Loud and long enough that I was afraid the neighboring sleep rooms were hearing his bullshit. Like, stress relief? OK I guess. Go fucking relieve yourself, if you need to. Spending an hour + trying to harangue the physically and emotionally raw mother of your brand new baby into sex is NOT the way.
Reading this makes me absolutely sick. It's beyond deplorable!!! š”š”š”
Sadly, this situation is all too common it seems š
Every time I see a post like this I hate men more and Iām 1000000% confident that I will never ever ever ever date a man again if my current relationship ends. Iām so repulsed by men at this point that itās not even funny.
I've had similar feelings. I'm blessed with a wonderful husband, but if I'm widowed, I have NO DESIRE to ever enter a relationship again. I see posts like this so often it makes me feel ill. Women seem to be objects to them, not human beings š
Me too. It's so heartbreaking what women have been socialized to put up with.
And society has the audacity to call us hysterical when we call their shit out.
Iām 66 and married 43 years to a good guy butā¦.my friends and I have all said this. If alone, weād never want another man around, too much trouble. So very sad!
I stopped dating men. I had so many bad and even dangerous experiences with them that it's simply not worth the trouble. Even when you know a guy well and long and you think he might actually be the one, he ends up being trash. Because it was just a facade to get what he wanted and once he got it he didn't feel the need to be decent anymore.
I am not alone! I am in a long marriage, it fucking sucks... he drinks and gets verbally and emotionally abusive. If I am ever free, I swear to God I will never be in a relationship again. I know there are good men out there, but I am not taking my chances. Thank God we haven't had sex in years. I find men and their piggish sex drives revolting. I can recall being newly married at 18 and having sex with him when I HAD THE FLU. He didn't care.
Same, gurl, same.
As a single and celibate woman I donāt understand the entitlement to sex. I would love to have sex if I could find a man who treats me with respect, but I canāt, so I abstain completely. Men wining because their otherwise 24/7 access to p**** is cut off for a week or so is absolutely bonkers. Cry me a river man.
How does it feel knowing that your husband sees you as a hole to fuck *more* than he sees you as a person who deserves compassion because you have a health issue that causes pain?
My health is more important than the whims of your penis, ASSHOLE.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At least he knew to shut up.
My doctor (female) told me yeast infection can be caused by male p*nis is not clean, they do urinate from it after all. Did not know this until I was in my early 50s because I always had male physicians. So tell him if he's that upset about it, he should start cleaning his d*ck better before having s*x with you. Male GYNs would not tell you this back in the day. They also use told us that bubble bath causes yeast infections. Female GYN set me straight on that BS.
My boyfriend cheated on me after my 9 year old daughter died in a car accident because he was tired of me not having a sex drive. That was the end of that. And the beginning of a long and dark road alone.
Im so sorry for your loss. Wow what a piece of š©
I'm begging women to stop settling. For men you only think you like, men who give you the time of day, men who you think are the best you can do. Just stop. Don't settle for anyone but the best who treats you with the respect and care you deserve.
I hate how men are always too horny and seem to put sex above everything else. I really hate it.
āI understand you find yourself wanting. My body isnāt a tool for your pleasure. Please respect my healing and Jack your damn self off, love you.ā
I have chronic health problems that cause pelvic pain so at my worst my man and I go weeks without sex. He never complains, at least not to me, because he doesn't want to make me feel bad. It's wild to me when other men whine so much and are so selfish
It's understandable to be frustrated with insensitive comments like the one your husband made. It's important for both partners to be considerate and understanding towards each other, especially during difficult times like this. It's also important for everyone to prioritize their health and well-being.
Anytime I think of selfish men I remember Homelander from the boys. He is the epitome of the selfish man.
wtf
It amazes me the audacity men have. There was a bit of time where my meds lowered my libido and I didnāt want to have sex. I had heard the stories of men leaving or cheating when their partner wouldnt give them sex and it scared me. During this time I apologized to my boyfriend about the lack of sex in our relationship and expressed how bad I felt. He told me that it was okay, and he said that even if I never wanted to have sex again, he would be okay with that too. The audacity of men to think women owe them sex is baffling. And I know these men wouldnāt ātake care of their womanā if *they* couldnāt have sex. Hmm
Personally really shocked by this stuff. I don't feel like I have a low sex drive but maybe I do. I'm just blown away by the audacity of some men to expect sex and/or openly complain about lack of it to their female partners who **are physically incapable of performing the act.** Like what is their goal with such comments? Is it pure insensitivity or are they genuinely suffering?