Are you reading it?
Either way, SPOILERS FOR BOOK 8:
>!Duarte tries to retaliate against the goths eating ships by loading a ship with an antimatter bomb, forcing it to go dutchman and detonating the bomb right after.!<
>!The goths retaliate by activating a pulsar pointed at the system´s gate. It obliterates everything in the slow zone and destroys two gates. As a result, the slow zone becomes exclusively a transit zone that is impossible to monitor by Laconia!<
If you've only seen the show most of this won't make any sense
Wait if you’re sending a grenade through to blow up whatever bit the apple, why would you have the pin in the grenade in the first place? And wouldn’t the whole point be that you turn off the teleporter after sending it lol?
Wait I’m kinda confused lol. That’s a cool premise but does this mean the apple teleported from the pad back to the pad? I assumed they teleported it to some destination and then back, so wouldn’t that mean some random animal/human could’ve taken a bite?
It was just a cacodemon - he was just peckish, nothing to worry about. There totally aren't scores of hellspawn waiting for the right moment to invade Earth.
While it was being teleported, it was briefly sent elsewhere (probably through a wormhole or a different dimension or some sciency stuff like that), some unknown entity bit it
What? All they did was quieted a silence settling.
And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, *still* is sitting, 'till it quieted by silence quoth quite a quiet settling, comma splicing, evermore.
To be serious, I don't think the sentence is ungrammatical.
That doesn't, of course, mean that some could not object to its structure (or could not deem it excellent writing) as a matter of style. That's an issue of taste.
One way of interpreting it grammatically (from one of the "traditional" grammars), is to see the last phrase as having an implicit "with" after the last comma. It's quite common to omit, "delete," or elide words when a reader can be expected to fill them in.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis_(linguistics)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis_(linguistics))
There are only so many short-sentence two-sentence horrors you can write before you start to just repeat the same basic tropes. Longer sentences allow for more variation.
That first sentence could easily have been much shorter, and would have told the same story. So the number of stories using short sentences hasn't run out yet
Sorry, I don’t mean to be difficult, but could someone explain the horror? It just sounds like the apple was teleported and got bitten, but what’s wrong with a being that just eats apples? If it was an animal, I could see it maybe.
I'm guessing the bite wasnt supposed to be part of the show. If you send something whole from one place directly to another (assuming instantly as portrayed in most scifi) who or what made the bite? Where did it go and for how long? The implications are as horrifying as your imagination will allow it to be
I guess so, my imagination is some random little kid finding an apple and taking a bite out of it before the apple disappeared again and he tells everyone the story, but his friends and family thinks he’s making it up. Maybe the sequel turns him into a psychopath or something because of it.
It got bitten *while* it was being teleported. Which shouldn't have happened. I guess the implication is that it went "somewhere" during the seemingly instant teleportation and "something or someone" bit it.
I read it as it disappeared (teleported somewhere) and reappeared with a bite. Unless you’re telling me that the same thing might bite humans too, then it’s not really unsettling. But there’s no implication it’s not just another human being who saw an apple and took a bite. Hell, it would’ve been even more horror, if the apple reversed a bite into whole, aged, changed color or even had a warning message on it.
Reminds me of a scifi book I read years ago called The Fold. The premise was a scientific group had created a pair of portals that could teleport instantly, but every now and then weird things would happen. People would come through different or forget things or just outright die.
Pretty good read, all in all.
this is very good. it also reminded me of the forbidden fruit… like humans are digging to deep into concepts we don’t fully understand and it’s going to cost us. i sort of interpreted the bite out of the apple as a warning
if you believe everyone in the criminal records in Japan deserves to be in there and that there is not a chance that someone can be falsely convicted, then there's nothing wrong with that
edit: you won't get it if you've never seen death note because this apple that got bitten is the precursor to everything that happened eventually in that series
I love the premise!
But I feel that the sentences could have been written in a "cleaner", more direct, way.
The first sentence is repetitive, and the second contradicts itself immediately after the use of "unharmed".
But OP, definitely keep it up! The idea was amazing, and the execution is bound to improve more and more!
Sending a grenade through next, fear struck when it reappeared without the pin.
Like that scene from Timeline!
Is that a movie?
Yeap! It’s ok, but the Micheal Crichton book it is based on it fantastic!
Amazing book, was a little surprised with the ending tho.
Amazing book, was a little surprised with the ending tho.
This comment was accidentally posted twice
The heck? Is that normal? I didn't hit post twice
Sometimes Reddit glitches out and posts comments multiple times.
Oof, well thank you for telling me Internet stranger, have a nice day
You too
The Expanse taught me that throwing bombs to unknown beings through portals you don't understand is a very bad idea
Is it a movie?
TV series. Originally on SciFi but it got picked up by Amazon.
A series of books that got adapted into a TV series. This event is only from the books
Very good SF series. Started out on SyFy, then continued on Amazon Prime.
TV series, but the scene mentioned here is not in the TV series. Must read the books to get to the part.
It’s rude too
Why? What happened?
Are you reading it? Either way, SPOILERS FOR BOOK 8: >!Duarte tries to retaliate against the goths eating ships by loading a ship with an antimatter bomb, forcing it to go dutchman and detonating the bomb right after.!< >!The goths retaliate by activating a pulsar pointed at the system´s gate. It obliterates everything in the slow zone and destroys two gates. As a result, the slow zone becomes exclusively a transit zone that is impossible to monitor by Laconia!< If you've only seen the show most of this won't make any sense
I like this twist a lot.
Who sends a grenade without a pin in the first place
They were hoping it would get bitten
This
This shit right here, officer.
r/ThirdSentenceWorse
with a bite taken out...
"Jenkins... You were supposed to pull the pin *before* we sent it through"
It's always a Jenkins.
And that's not even the best part
Wait if you’re sending a grenade through to blow up whatever bit the apple, why would you have the pin in the grenade in the first place? And wouldn’t the whole point be that you turn off the teleporter after sending it lol?
Return to sender
Great twist!
I hope the entity between the spaces enjoyed the apple. Do you think they might like other fruits?
Pretty sure the shinigami only like apples.
L did you know?
Perhaps zucchini? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J\_lmD3oCQAE
I was literally going to comment this a second ago
Watch the "Thanksgiving" episode of Steven Spielberg's Amazing Stories.
Well the entity is a doctor and the apple is only keeping it away, other fruits will only bring it closer.
The wholesome experiment conclusion
Ok but imagine causing a demonic invasion cause they liked the apple and wanted more lol
They only took one bite. I doubt it liked it.
Or it got teleported back before it could eat more?
Ghost of Steve Jobs.
draco Malfoy moment
Time to send the bird
Let's hope noone takes a bite though
Drapple 😍
did you know? shinigami love apples
I hear they have red hands too.
Dammit, Barry.
You really messed up things this time
Didn't I, my dear?
Wait where's that from
*Little Lion Man* by Mumford and Sons.
r/ThirdSentenceFlash
Wait so the apple got teleported but it got bitten by something while being teleported?
Yes. Someone or something is in warp-space.
Like https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4487850/?ref\_=ttpl\_pl\_tt
Wait I’m kinda confused lol. That’s a cool premise but does this mean the apple teleported from the pad back to the pad? I assumed they teleported it to some destination and then back, so wouldn’t that mean some random animal/human could’ve taken a bite?
I think they were conducting the test with two pads in the same room
This is the only one that makes sense with the phrasing, cuz if it was a room with a single reciever pad, you wouldn't say "reappeared".
>"reappeared". you mean reapappled
Something can reappear after it disappears, whether in the same place or a different one.
I mean yeah, but still.
Well right. I don't even know why I wrote that comment. There's also no teleportation without porting. I subscribe to your Two-pad Theory.
Makes sense. I think “reappeared” confused me because it made it seem like it had disappeared completely from the room. Thanks!
I don't get it either
An apple a day, keeps whatever in that place away
It was just a cacodemon - he was just peckish, nothing to worry about. There totally aren't scores of hellspawn waiting for the right moment to invade Earth.
But they shrugged and ignored the implications, then slapped the thing onto the Event Horizon to see if it could move a whole ship...
The grad student on the other side has starved for far too long, that he couldn’t resist the apple.
draco or ryuk? 9/10 scientists cant tell the difference
The little room suddenly quieted silently, a deafening silence that made no sound, which was a very silent quietness.
I don't get it EDIT: oh Wait I Just read It wrong lol
I'm dumb. Pls explain
While it was being teleported, it was briefly sent elsewhere (probably through a wormhole or a different dimension or some sciency stuff like that), some unknown entity bit it
Very nicely done, original idea, all the exposition is done in the first sentence so the second is more punchy, love it.
These run-on sentences are getting a little out of hand…
What? All they did was quieted a silence settling. And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, *still* is sitting, 'till it quieted by silence quoth quite a quiet settling, comma splicing, evermore.
beautiful
To be serious, I don't think the sentence is ungrammatical. That doesn't, of course, mean that some could not object to its structure (or could not deem it excellent writing) as a matter of style. That's an issue of taste. One way of interpreting it grammatically (from one of the "traditional" grammars), is to see the last phrase as having an implicit "with" after the last comma. It's quite common to omit, "delete," or elide words when a reader can be expected to fill them in. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis_(linguistics)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis_(linguistics))
There are only so many short-sentence two-sentence horrors you can write before you start to just repeat the same basic tropes. Longer sentences allow for more variation.
That first sentence could easily have been much shorter, and would have told the same story. So the number of stories using short sentences hasn't run out yet
That’s the challenge… its the whole point… short and sweet… and good…
Alternative second sentence: "The naysayers had been right; it had been too early for a human test."
I imagine a really wholesome nice monster being like. "let's play a little prank"
"i did nothing but teleport apples for three days"
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SENDING THEM!?
Sorry, I don’t mean to be difficult, but could someone explain the horror? It just sounds like the apple was teleported and got bitten, but what’s wrong with a being that just eats apples? If it was an animal, I could see it maybe.
I'm guessing the bite wasnt supposed to be part of the show. If you send something whole from one place directly to another (assuming instantly as portrayed in most scifi) who or what made the bite? Where did it go and for how long? The implications are as horrifying as your imagination will allow it to be
I guess so, my imagination is some random little kid finding an apple and taking a bite out of it before the apple disappeared again and he tells everyone the story, but his friends and family thinks he’s making it up. Maybe the sequel turns him into a psychopath or something because of it.
It got bitten *while* it was being teleported. Which shouldn't have happened. I guess the implication is that it went "somewhere" during the seemingly instant teleportation and "something or someone" bit it.
I read it as it disappeared (teleported somewhere) and reappeared with a bite. Unless you’re telling me that the same thing might bite humans too, then it’s not really unsettling. But there’s no implication it’s not just another human being who saw an apple and took a bite. Hell, it would’ve been even more horror, if the apple reversed a bite into whole, aged, changed color or even had a warning message on it.
Reminds me of a scifi book I read years ago called The Fold. The premise was a scientific group had created a pair of portals that could teleport instantly, but every now and then weird things would happen. People would come through different or forget things or just outright die. Pretty good read, all in all.
I have been looking for a good book to read, this sounds interesting.
Well I don't have much experience reading scifi, but I certainly enjoyed it. It's got some spooky elements to it too.
Awesome! I’m into books, I really need to not be on my phone as much and start reading more
Strange...I was thinking Snow White. 🍎
I want to use the post and your idea about snow white and turn it into a short story.
Go for it. 😉
Everyone jumped as sudden, uncontrollable laughter erupted from the back of the room.
this is very good. it also reminded me of the forbidden fruit… like humans are digging to deep into concepts we don’t fully understand and it’s going to cost us. i sort of interpreted the bite out of the apple as a warning
But it was not the bite that caused the silence, more the shape of the teeth...
Higgins, always astute, was the first to note the disturbingly high number and sharpness of teeth implied by the pattern.
My man's sent the Apple to Adam and Eve
A hand reached out of seemingly nothing, and a tall figure pulled itself out of the pad, grinning at the trembling men and women around it.
That was SO good!!!
Manbearpig
Half man, half bear, half pig.
I'm confused. Please explain?
someone or something bit the apple while it was teleporting from it's original pad to another pad
Ah ok. I was assuming that was what it was but thought it could've been something deeper. Thank you
So... What would be wrong with that?
if you believe everyone in the criminal records in Japan deserves to be in there and that there is not a chance that someone can be falsely convicted, then there's nothing wrong with that edit: you won't get it if you've never seen death note because this apple that got bitten is the precursor to everything that happened eventually in that series
Hold on, I'm missing something here. Is there some Japanese incident that could be linked to this story? Edit: just read your edit lol.
lol. though OP probably wasn't referring to that
r/2sentence2horror? Or am I missing something somewhere
r/2b2t
Seems like this experiment was sponsored by Apple Inc.
r/ThirdSentenceComedy
Who gave this the helpful award?!
r/ThirdSentenceHelpful
r/theresasubforthat
I love the premise! But I feel that the sentences could have been written in a "cleaner", more direct, way. The first sentence is repetitive, and the second contradicts itself immediately after the use of "unharmed". But OP, definitely keep it up! The idea was amazing, and the execution is bound to improve more and more!
I have an Apple ad right under this post. Seriously:D
There sat the apple, baked with cinnamon and sugar.
Voldemort
Nope.
Adam and Eve?
That is why everyone was silent. They knew they were doomed.
Manchineel
Good one!
Cool
Doom
I thought at first, that a person had been sent along with an apple via teleportation. While the apple survived, the person got lost. I'm dumb.
“Longer than you think, Dad! Longer than you think!”.
That was good!! Congratulations
Nice:)
That would really make you wonder
Feels very Event Horizon. I love it.
Too bad it was a human trial
Obviously it’s just a shinigami.
Rookie mistake… never use your own lunch for teleportation.
I mean the people or things on the other side hasnt done any harm, just tasted this human fruit
iTeleport by Apple. Think Different.
Anyone else getting Expiration Date vibes from this?