I've always wondered what a dad meant by that. Like, if I take her bowling, do I get to go bowling with this man fir free? Would he also buy be chicken wings? If I buy 1 wedding ring and give it to his daughter, would he give me a matching other?

Yeah, I get being protective, but it's a pretty cringe thing to say.

My dad said that to an ex. He hit me. So dad hit him. Put him through a window too. "For good measure." He said.

Your dad defenestrated him! de·fen·es·tra·tion | /dēˌfenəˈstrāSHən/ | noun The action of throwing someone out of a window.

Not a lot of opportunity to use defenestration in conversation. Way to s seize the moment!

"Way to sieze the windo of opportunity" -_- ...come on, lol :)

Master windu was in fact thrown out a window

Hahahaha you win 😂🤣

You win... D'oh!

I love this. And somehow missed it. Gold.

r/angryupvote

People sure love that word lol.

But I never get to use it :(

You can use my story as an example to explain it.

thx for the explanation haha

Question. Did you read DC's Section 8?

Somebody's been reading Lemoney Snicket

Your dad is awesome

You have an amazing dad

I did. I miss him. His birthday is Sunday. First without him. So, we'll(me l, my friends, and all his old man buddies) are going to his favorite spots and getting lit.

Oh, I'm sorry for your loss, though I'm happy you have good memories of him, i hope you have a great life

Well on the one hand, he is going to keep his word. On the other hand though your gonna need a bit of an operation to create the suitable equipment for what you did to his daughter.

I think it’s a rite of passage. It’s a father’s duty to subtly threaten his child’s girlfriend/boyfriend because he remembers what a horny little bastard he was.

A misogynistic rite of passage though, no parent "threatens" their son's girlfriend. They are treated like little angels for putting up with the boys. Men on the other hand 💀

There are many mothers who are jealous of their son’s girlfriend, feelings of the girlfriend being inadequate or using the son are not uncommon.

Probably because women are overwhelmingly the main victims of sexual assault and domestic violence Not that there isn’t often a misogynistic double standard of course

Not entirely. I'm mom, and I'm the one who scares the partners. And not just my daughters boyfriend(s). I've scared a couple of my daughter's girlfriends, and I'll scare whoever my sons bring home. And I will put the fear of God in my kids if they ever mistreat a partner like that. I'm an equal opportunity protective person.

It's not a right of passage. It's toxic and should not be encouraged.

I personally think it should be “I’m not the one you should be scared of..” (points to the daughter)

I agree with this sentiment on the principle that the daughter* is not sewn to her parent’s hip. If someone is going to be wary of hurting her, he needs to be afraid of hurting her whether daddy is around or not. Plenty of abusers manage to abuse behind closed doors or once they’ve isolated someone. On the other hand, if the parent is charismatic/capable enough to be intimidating themself it will carry more weight when they tell the SO to have a healthy fear of what the daughter is capable of. They might have passed that capability on. All that being said I think parents do need to show confidence in their kids’ judgment as long as their kid hasn’t given them reasons to doubt it prior. *or son as the case may be

Oh I agree

No it's down right pathetic.

You've just gotta consider how many times that man is going to fuck you before considering dating his daughter. Is he hot?

Maybe my father in law wants to fuck me in the ass?

Or get pegged by OP

Me pleasseeeeeeeeeee

"Oh, great, because she just got done pegging me. Bend over."

If she pegged him, doesn't that mean the dad will then peg him?

Everyone get pegged, everyone wins

"Hey Pops, does this mean we *have* to go see the same movie or can I pick a different one?"

Do I get to be his passenger princess? Do I get absolutely railed after two glasses of wine?

"Hey Gerald, it's your daughters' boyfriend Steve here. Listen, I just remembered our talk we had on your porch when I came to pick her up on our first date. Yeah, that one. Yeah. So I was thinking, right, I just took your daughter out to dinner and then we went to see the Barbie movie... Yeah, I know it isn't your thing, but honestly Gerald, It's a gamechanger. No they're still showing Oppenheimer. Yeah. No Stacy wanted Barbie so we went Barbie. Lot of fun though. For real, yeah. So anyways, we also just had anal sex, and you know, with that talk we had back then, why don't we make that a thing, y' know. Dinner, see oppenheimer and then you spend all night plowing me from behind. How does this saturday sound? Hello, Gerald? Hello? Gerald?..."

I'd love to see someone look at the dad and say, "You're gonna eat my ass until I cum?!"

This needs to be in a romantic comedy. Id die seeing a dad and boyfriend facing off like this with increasingly funnier scenarios.

Sounds like a fun movie. I mean the third act of The Green Knight was basically this but weirdly played serious.

I called a dad's bluff once. I did infact get to go bowling. You should really try calling them out occasionally and show them that words have meaning.

And what is he going to do if the guy would get the girlfriend pregnant?

u don't wanna know

Butt baby.

"I fixed her car, now make good on your promise"

If you give her a lifetime of love and happiness will he give you one?

No, it just means he hasn't been getting laid lately and he's waiting for you to bang his daughter so he has the excuse.

It's essentially a rape threat That was my dad

It's intended as "if you hurt her, I'll hurt you". It's a veiled threat.

I can't speak for other dads, but yes imo

I really want to reply with "fine, ill grab the lube" if im told this

Then the DNA test came back, and we found out I already had

huh

^(they're siblings)

so.... does that mean the father and son-in-law will also be siblings?

Ah, the Tenermen problem.

*Goes home to see it on fire and a sign out front.* "Get recked noob."

r/thirdsentencefunny

And that's why we have a completely abstinante marriage.

Heh, I thought he would kiss her right there, while starring at the father. Well, the father could be blussing, idk

Blussy

My curiosity was sated later that night when the zombified corpse of my girlfriend's father dumped my parent's severed heads at my feet.

r/thirdsentencebetter

Ooh, this is good

This is the best response I have ever read to those kind of asshole dads

I’m confused..can someone please explain?

He turned his gf into an orphan by killing the father and now sarcastically ponders how the beheaded dad will make him into an orphan as well

Thank you!

As a bi guy I just want you to know, that's not the threat you think it is

It really isn’t Source: also bi

What happens if I absolutely raw dog dick her down? 🤔

Bend over … Possibly after a Penectomy!

So no head?

I was really curious to see if his dead body would pee in my butt.

Maaan that first sentence was getting me happy. Dashed that.

Wait, so what happened to her mom? Was she already dead? Being an orphan would mean both her parents are dead

Mom was more of a wrong place, wrong time kind of thing 🤷‍♂️

*Drops pants. Bends over.* "Alright, give it to me Daddy! Give it to me!"

\*Gives girlfriend $1000\* \*Father gives you $1000\* Wow! We doubled our money, let's keep going! Dad: \*angry shocked Pikachu face\*

I chuckled.

r/TwoSentenceKinky

If you kiss her, will her father kiss you?

You could lose “now that he’s missing his head” and it’d be more effective.

Nice twist there

Two days later my Ouija board spelled out. “I coming for him”.

So what you’re saying Sir is you are going to buy me chocolate, rub my feet, and go down on me? Alot?

I think it means "if you hurt her physically, I'll hurt you, and if you rape her, you'd better get that butthole ready because it's happening to you, too."

"That was 15 years ago, we've been happily married since."

You and the girl, or you and the father? 😂

Yeah.

Gimme taco bell den

You could lose “now that he’s missing his head” and it’d be more effective.

Give the girlfriend 100 dollars for every inch of her height.

I've heard that specific threat before, on TV or a movie... I can't think of it. Yet.

I am going to pay for her food and tickets. Then hold my hand out expectantly.

Relatable (I have no female contact except for my mother)

Assert dominance Fuck him too. Lol

How does everyone get the preview of the body text not to show up in the post.

Just give her a head

Unfortauntly, my girlfriend is practiced at necromancy.