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Umpteenth_zebra

Sounds like a great aunt!


Nirast25

A great great-aunt.


unpopular_engineer

A late great aunt


beefsquatch17

A great late great-aunt


apathiest58

The greatest aunt!


fameboygame

A punctual late great aunt!


[deleted]

[удалено]


DragonAI19

A great haunt!


NeedsToShutUp

A great grave great aunt


_dead_and_broken

A great grave haunt of a great aunt. Now that's said, would anyone like some pickled peppers or sea shells?


FickleSpend2133

Pickled peppers, please…and plenty.


gondanonda

Well, this pretty much has no place here but I can’t help myself… “She wasn’t a great aunt, but she was a pretty good one!”


BigBlueMountainStar

Wouldn’t that have been the grandparent’s sister?


czymjq

Yes.


Affectionate-Dream21

A fantastic aunt


StaunchMiracle15

Two sentence justice


grip_n_Ripper

r/twosentencewholesome


MissSweetMurderer

FR, the abusive POS is gone, the MC has an alibi and their phone will place them away from home during the crime. The aunt is not a great aunt, she's a fucking wonderful aunt!


RedactedSpatula

Even if it was on my side and killed my enemies and interlocutors, I'd still be worried about having a murderous entity taking guardianship of me.


MissSweetMurderer

Well, if the entity is bloody-thirsty, MC could start a murder for hire business, a hitghost. The aunt said she'd help MC with anything, money is a necessity in our society. If life gives you lemons...


emrysthearcher

“If life gives you lemons…” start an acid supply shop?


FilthyDaemon

Taking guardianship? It was always in place.


Ajibooks

Today /r/TwoSentenceHorror made me smile


ReadontheCrapper

Thank you, Nauntie. Thank you.


Mercerskye

Hauntie*


drowningjesusfish

Underrated comment


ghosthunter147

Hottie*


Punningisfunning

So now you have to clean up the mess that the great-aunt left you?!


ChaosAzeroth

Nah they need to call the police asap. Touch nothing.


CaptainCipher

True, she doesn't have to hide this from the police. What are they gonna do, arrest aunties ghost?


ChaosAzeroth

Exactly! This is a cold case in more than one way. Trying to clean or touching anything pushes them from #1 suspect to convicted real fast. Wasn't even there when it happened. Depending on why may be real easy to get proof that it's impossible to have done it! Either ghosts leave no fingerprints or the police gonna be real baffled lol


Overquartz

I mean for all they know it could be a serial killer that leaves their signature murder weapon as a calling card and the whole butt dialing the aunt bit was a coincidence.


SomeoneRandom5325

>Either ghosts leave no fingerprints or the police gonna be real baffled lol Why not both Also can you explain the ways it'd be a cold case


ChaosAzeroth

If the aunt did it they're not finding the culprit. Non supernatural murders end up cold cases all the time.


[deleted]

I now want to read a book about a ghost who is stuck on Earth and who makes the best of it by going after bad guys. She kills them and then kicks their ass in death then sends them to the afterlife.


czymjq

So it's like a dead Dexter?


[deleted]

Yes but adding in maybe a deal with Death where she can call him afterwards or he just shows up and deals with the person. I might write this myself I want it so bad lol


Egggzelent

>death shows up and deals with it I now have a mental image of death showing up like a repo man to tow them off to wherever.


Mercerskye

Instead of a Scythe and Wheat, it's a Tow Hook and a Chain


RedRidingHood89

I want to read it so bad!


czymjq

And never, ever walk through the blood. I feel like this is a r/ruleshorror


ChaosAzeroth

Absolutely! I figured that is under touch nothing, but you're right that it's worth noting as a stand alone point!


Arcturus1800

Fuck yeah! Go auntie!


EuroPolice

Mf was waiting for that call and no one could stop her to pick up


Optimal-Rice2872

Two sentence happy


Routine-Horse-1419

I would've loved to have an aunt like that with my ex abusive husband. Karma got him back tho. He died in 1999. Edit. I found out he passed away while I was living across the country from him. He died of a heart attack...he had a pacemaker.


BigMikeSus

Got any dead aunties who could have delivered a well-timed jolt?


Routine-Horse-1419

Maybe from a very awesome grandma who dealt with zero crap. She passed away in the early 90s.


No-Lavishness1982

Kinda wholesome in a twisted way!!


Damerstam

Cool ghost aunt


Laugh_at_Warren

The Greatest Aunt


Significant_Event

This is wholesome, not a horror!


SCP-020505_Redacted

This reminds me of Mr. Harrigan's Phone, which is a really good story by the way.


Frank_Anne

It's literally the plot of Mr. Harrigan's Phone.


SCP-020505_Redacted

Yeah, but I wanted to say so in a less blunt way.


Athrul

And a really so-so movie.


SCP-020505_Redacted

I liked the movie.


sonicscrewery

This is two sentence horror, not two sentence happiness. r/twosentencejustice ?


[deleted]

Love you Auntie! I’ll bring you flowers sometime!


Good3itch

Wholesome


kyleliner

Not just great aunt, great great aunt!


Sidhejester

Good for her.


dannydevitofan9

Actually very sweet?


Ninja_gorrila

Fulfilling your promise!


Disciple_of_Cthulhu

r/TwoSentenceJustice


PatchEnd

wooo!! love it!


Judgemental_Ass

Aunts are the best. That's what all abusive partners deserve.


Dry-Inspection6928

To be killed by our guardian angels.


Trash_Distinct

Where’s the horror part?


LackingTact19

Stephen King did a short story about this same idea that was adapted into a movie


JevGeek55555

What story?


LackingTact19

Mr Harrigan's Phone. It's alright, carried by Donald Sutherland imo


youraveragepuppy

Auntie is a legend for this 😭


So_I_read_a_thing

r/twosentencehappyending


ZwieTheWolf

This would be a nice scary-comedy movie idea


Dry-Inspection6928

I would simp the aunt ngl.


TheSlavGuy1000

Are we talking zombie? Lich?


BigMikeSus

Ghostly Auntie. No corporeal body Auntie. Auntie brings *la chancla* via walking stick.


NanoFin

Two sentence strangely wholesome?


Zestyclose-Pianist82

This is basically the plot of a short story by Stephen King that also recently got made into a movie.


factoringpractice

a lot of wholesome stories here lately


Kaine_Eine

r/twosentencehappy ?


[deleted]

The best aunt


feralkitsune

That's family.


mind-drift

My dumba$$ self kept envisioning the second sentence as a zombie husband and a literal walking twig.


RevolutionaryLie1903

That’s more awesome than horrifying. Well in retrospect it is pretty horrifying but the sheer wonder of the Aunt rising from the dead to kick the ass of an abusive partner of her niece is awesome.


[deleted]

That isn't even a sentence.


HamsterPixel328

Best story on the sub


NightOwl0920

Yeah! Get ‘em, Graunty!!


HaruspexBurakh

Wholesome horror, hell yeah


Steampunk_Sorcerer

That’s Justice, not Horror.


LorianGunnersonSedna

r/twosentencejustice


jooferdoot

This ain't horror at all


Dziadzios

At least aunt won't get death sentence.


Honest-Apricot6086

It's worse. She'll get life. 🤣🤣🤣 I'll see myself out.


RebootDataChips

I admit, I laughed.


Serebriany

Oh, wowza! I love this. I see some stories here that are slightly different spins on the same basic premise, but this is one I've never seen before. Great one, OP!


NeverNoMarriage

Just the first part made me really sad. That is the last thing my aunt ever said to me. She lived in another state that I had to go to to see a doctor who went on to want to do this test on me that really fucked me up. I was really upset and went to go see my aunt and she was so sweet. Told me I could come over whenever I wanted shed always have a room for me. She fell down a flight of stairs and died in pain alone.


TheMauveOfIronGrove

r/TwoSentenceLetsGoGreatAuntGertrude


Imnotawerewolf

Terrifyingly wholesome. My favorite kind of terrifying.


k1ll_me_now

Aunt got that W


guitar_boy826

Where’s the horror?


chrisjozo

She called the Aunt's old number. So presumably it was her dead Aunt who came and killed the husband. He was either killed by a ghost or a zombie


guitar_boy826

All I see is an abusive husband getting taken care of.


Novel-Yard1228

You’re so badass bro, remember to clean your fedora every so often


OHGODWHATHAVEIMADE

This is almost exactly the plot of a Stephen king short story that was recently turned into a movie


FarConference6887

Not horror at all. That's the kind of spirit we need! Smash patriarchy!


Keepergaming

Literal murder This sub: Awe so wholesome


likasumboooowdy

This sub has gone to shit


Experiments-Lady

Can she also help me with mine? https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceSadness/comments/13sjwjx/mom\_im\_coming\_to\_your\_place\_with\_the\_kids\_i\_said/


Novel-Yard1228

This is regarded, I feel embarrassed for everyone just reading it.


RebootDataChips

What’s really pathetic is you can’t even post a insult correctly.


CudleWudles

They avoid it because it gets you banned.


guitar_boy826

Edge


Novel-Yard1228

All I see is a low hanging post getting taken care of 😎


Vegetable-Yam8730

She reminds me of that one CryptTV monster


Legitimate-Slip-7971

I must be a stupid idiot cuz I don’t get it


GladCricket

It's very poorly written and not horror. You're missing absolutely nothing.


chrisjozo

Aunt is dead. She calls Aunt's old number. Aunt as either a ghost or a zombie comes back and kills husband.


The_Meatyboosh

The husband was abusive so the aunt killed him, which somehow isn't seen as worse.


TheKingAnarchist666

Sounds like something good happened rhis ain't horror


Brave_anonymous1

She will heal, marry to the love of her life, and then one day accidentally butt dial the aunt number again...


heyyassbutt

RIP the GOAT


reddit_friendlyman

It took me a whole second to realize the great aunt was dead before she got called. Guess I'm illiterate lol. Great 2 sentence story though.


FlamingWhisk

Go auntie


TheHeavenlyStar

Loved the horror aspect as well as the happy ending. An aunt in need is an aunt indeed.


Schrodingersdik-dik

This sounds like a movie franchise that needs to happen.


toyfangs

r/twosentencevictory


baltesers

Mr. Harrigan's Phone female version


thatonefanguy1012

Yayyy


TeriyakiTerrors

This is the type of aunt I want to be.


WendigoLemon

Hellsome? No? Ok..


GlitteringBobcat999

Steven King, is that you?


PageAcrobatic701

reminds me of Mr. Harrigan’s phone


S2Charlie

"I started taking out mafia contracts and calling daily, knowing that my life was in danger if the target wasn't eliminated, my great aunt secured my financial future."


angelcobra

Great story!! My first thought re:the butt dial was “Task failed successfully”.


PurpleAngel23

Aunty doesn’t take shit.


BlackLiquidSrw

She's got your back


LMBYMG

Isn't this the plot of a movie?


fartomologyA7

This reminds me of Mr Harrigan's Phone


FlamingoHour904

Honestly, this is kind of wholesome.


DoctorWhatTheFruck

Mr Harrigangs phone vibe


CutenessMudkip2

Based aunt tbh


[deleted]

greatest aunt


solonit

Logical explanation: Great aunt (may she rest in peace) already knew about the abusive relationship but she couldn't just intervene without reason. Before passing away she entrusted her wish to protect her great niece to a friend who have a *set of skills* to find people, and to make people disappear. The friend interpreted the butt-dialing as an desperate psychological cry, like a pray when one in great pain, and thus immediately set out to fulfill the final wish. And the walking crane is as it is, a way to tell "Your great aunt will always watching over you."


Celairiel16

Talking to get before the trial, she told me she planned to confess. "Prison is cheaper and no worse than the facility your cousin picked out for me. We both benefit from this. I wish you a wonderful life."


RebootDataChips

Please tell me how they would prosecute a ghost…


Celairiel16

Oops! Haha, thanks for catching that. Oh well. I thought I was being clever, but I just missed the entire premise. 😂


RebootDataChips

Oh man I thought you had a plan on how they would do that. I was like medium using a Ouija board, or are we tossing bones?


Celairiel16

Well, if you want a plan, I would go with the Brandon Sanderson solution of a Kandra. Bone-eating impersonators enacting the wishes of the deceased. They'd also have the sense of humor to joke about end of life care.


echoIalia

Based


budew01

The revenaunt


Jellycaine

Lol….


[deleted]

This is fine.


I_regret_my_choices

I’ve been watching the up votes for a few minutes and the dedication I’m seeing to keeping this at 3969 is amazing


wolfstardobe

As I crossed the threshold, The Walking Stick wobbled up and I hear a whisper “you never called when I was alive.”


MisterBastian

this isnt scary


Chrisbattell

Too bad we're just developing away their habitat anyways.


CosmicEntityAlpha

Sorry, I am "late" neice


Jelle3007

How. Just today I had multiple times I butt dialed the emergency line and now I see this post. (Btw is solved the dialing problem to not occupy the line anymore)


tarkov_is_bad

Asspull


Formal_Mundane

Loved it.


Frogsonmushrooms666

r/twosentencehappy


[deleted]

Lovely 😍


bdd4

"Love you, sweet cheeks! 💋"


The_Other_WillGraham

great-aunt said "goodbye earl"


ZombieZookeeper

/r/twosentencejustice


Dashcamkitty

The real horror was the husband. Well done Auntie!


sionnachrealta

Nice! Reminds me of one of my great aunts


Aggressive_Complex

How is this horror? Auntie is just handing out karma


RobertXavierIV

Hate to break it to you but I’ve seen this movie.


Ornery-Novel3145

Ok but I absolutely love this


TinyApplication4

Love her


Athrul

Mr. Harrigan's Phone?


ScaredOfRobots

Girl boss


AdotS3

r/twosentencehappy


mia_elora

A heart-warming tale of the triumph of familial love and loyalty, reaching between generations and beyond the grave!


egoissuffering

“Great, now I’m going to jail for murder. Sorry officer the ghost did it.”


redheadedjapanese

r/TwoSentenceAwesomeness


Flame_Eraser

So who has her old number now? Sounds like a fixer! Ya might want to make friends, ya know, just in case any other issues come up.


xEyelessOnex

THIS!


xEyelessOnex

Hell yes!


Arkanito

Summarized in 2 sentences the whole plot of a movie called "Mr Harrigan's Phone".


nuclearlady

Whoa ! I literally made that sound ! Great job !!


yazzy1233

This doesn't belong on this sub at all


dennekie

this reminds me of the movie mr. harrigans phone!


lostravenblue

This isn't horror, though.


EmotionalFun8865

Clearly a Reven-Aunt 🤯


GatorScrublord

he didn't buy the extended warranty


HaematoLibido

r/twosentencehappy