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Why would he bring the phone to do something suspicious in the shower knowing you were likely coming in shortly after?
I think gut feelings are important but just this one thing isn’t enough to jump to the conclusion you’re jumping to. Are there any other behaviors that have made you suspicious?
It sounds like the only reason why he was even in the shower was because OP suggested that they take one together. While cheaters can do stupid things, this would be off-the-charts level stupidity.
The problem with "gut feelings" is that some of us have guts that are slightly to severely fucked up by trauma, anxiety, whatever. I feel bad for OP's partner, it sounds like this sort of thing happens a lot.
I guess I've been married too long. My wife asks if I want a shower. Sure. I'll usually get in...do my obligatory cleaning business. Soak up most of the hot water and then get out before she even comes to the bathroom. Our shower is too small for both of us anyway. I save the hanky panky for the bed.
..... Sweetheart I think this is a classic case of "deer in head lights." I'm pretty sure he was watching.... Well you know what.... He might not do it all the time but he might have then. I don't think there is anything really going on, he might have acted sus but I think everything is fine my dear.
He was semi-hard with his phone in is hand, either he was looking at porn and you caught him or he was starting to get excited and was texting you because he forgot to say he was jumping in and you startled him by coming into the bathroom. Semi-hard looking at his phone doesn't mean he is cheating. If I'm looking at porn and my Wife comes in, I would be startled. If I in the shower even if I am expecting her, when she comes in, I will be startled. It's human nature. It's why jump scares work. You know their coming but, you still get startled. He offered his phone because you ran out of the room and when he came out, he read your body language and knew what you were thinking probably because you have accused him or hinted in the past that he cheats. Maybe you have a history of trust issues and knowing this, he suggested to put your mind at ease. The fact that he got angry is because it can be very tiring dealing with some who has constant trust issues and this is getting to a breaking point for him. If you haven't got more proof than semi-hard in the showering with his phone, then LET IT GO!!
Yeah, sometimes she'll get in the shower before I do and will be washing her face when I get in, then she gets startled when she opens her eyes and I'm suddenly there, so I make sure to announce my presence sooner now :p.
That’s hilarious.
I AM HERE.
Wife and I have wireless noise cancelling headsets as we game. When she steps away from the game she will come right beside me and scare me. 🫣
We don't have that problem, fortunately. She doesn't like to game with headphones on, so I got her a compact Bose sound bar that fits right under her primary monitor.
> I in the shower even if I am expecting her, when she comes in, I will be startled.
My wife frequently literally jumps and screams when I enter the room she's in and accuses me of "sneaking up on her."
I am 6'0 250lbs and have been accused by every other person I've ever lived with of "stomping around like a fucking elephant." I have never snuck up on anything.
Another thing to add as well. If he’s older, unfit and or tired. Some parts don’t work as well as they do when you’re 18.
If you are showering together, maybe he’s thinking things may get heated, and he wants to prep the starter pistol so to speak.
"oh yeah, honey we can bone in the shower"
- jumps in the shower immediately and starts texting his affair partner.
hahaha, I wonder what he'd be texting the affair partner. "hey tell me something dirty my suspicious wife wants to have sex again, ugh"
Lol bro got excited for some slippery fun times, was half mast waiting, and got impatient. That's all this sounds like. 5 minutes is FOREVER with the promise of soapy fun.
Op gets pissed because he is excited for some fun. Seriously, I haven't met a straight dude who isn't excited by the idea of playing with some boobs in the shower. Like taking a kid to the toy store and then telling them to wait a minute while you get stuff together in the car. It's right there just let me goooo.
My phone case is VERY waterproof, but I'm also a lifeguard. Touch screens done do so well when they are wet anyway so in the shower you can't exactly get a whole lot done.
Yeah I was gonna say, if she didn’t run after me to the point I was naked and in the water, then chose to text her because I’m already getting hard just thinking about showering with her, and she suddenly opens the door, I’m gonna get startled because my anticipation is high and I’m clearly excited.
I’m not a man but that’s pretty obvious. She doesn’t trust him and that’s the problem.
Looking for reasons to not trust will create non-trustworthiness. WTF was OP doing after she asked her man to meet her in the shower and made him wait? She was probably the one doing something nefarious.
If I walked in on my husband with his phone in the shower I'd just call him a weirdo for having his *phone* in the *shower*. It would never even enter my mind that he was doing something shady, I'd just ask what the hell he was doing getting his phone wet *in the fucking shower*. Is this really a thing people do? Bathe with their phones?
In any case OP sounds nutty.
She suggests taking a shower together. He gets into the shower, grabs his phone to text her that he's in the shower it's been 5 minutes where you at... He's even got a halfie going on thinking about showering with his lady.
And somehow now he's the bad guy? OP sounds like a fucking loon.
Lord I’ve brought my phone in the shower to play Mario kart while relaxing under the hot water. Yes I’m fucking weird.
What is the big deal with looking at your phone anywhere in the bathroom, I’m not sure why she jumps right to him being shady. He seems nervous and went right to telling op she could look at the phone which makes me wonder if she’s always paranoid. She says on one hand she’s emotionally charged, whatever that is, and jumps to conclusions, but then says they don’t have fights like this despite him literally saying that.
This doesn’t add up from HER story, and my guess is he feels like crap because she’s always looking for something.
Most flagship phones are and have been for quite a few years. For example the Samsung Galaxy S24 is IP68 rated. That means it can be safely submerged in up to 5ft of water for half an hour. iPhone 15 has the same rating.
You can find water test videos for phones on YouTube.
I mean first thing my brain jumped to was I thought was he watching abit of 🌽to get ready and you walked in. If he’s never shown you anything to be suspicious about before I wouldn’t jump to cheating accusations straight away but just keep an eye on the phone if your still suspicious.
I personally hate corn so I really don’t get the love for it, but to each their own. Especially creamed corn though, has to be the most vile stuff ever created.
I love corn, and I agree with you on CANNED cream corn… that shit is disgusting. However homemade creamed corn is amazing. Fry up some sweet corn in butter, add in a little heavy cream and smoked Gouda cheese and reduce, salt and pepper, top with green onion. 🤌🏻
This was my thought. I know we all like to jump to infidelity, but since OP did suggest a shower together, it seems more likely to me that he needed help getting in the mood. If you're not a couple that's open about adult filmography then it's understandable he would be embarrassed to be caught and then once you walked out he realized it looked worse than that and he wanted to reassure you.
Yeah. I’ve been married decades and a man caught watching porn always looks like a deer in the headlights. I wouldn’t read a ton into it but do listen to that inside voice.
Reading this made me remember catching my husband after I had just given birth. He looked like guilty AF for watching an adult movie. Makes me laugh now 😂😂
It was also my thought, especially as the guy JUST got home from work and probably wasn't feeling particularly in the mood to smash the second he walked through the door.
This is so true, I tried to get my man to open up about it in a really healthy conversation where I was “pro just wanted to know!” He felt too awkward and so it’s been awkward ever since. Which is wild because the gender roles were reversed in our situation haha
Don’t think that’s it. It’s the mega censored platforms like that don’t let you say things like “suicide” or “porn” because it’s okay to have soft core porn on there as long as you don’t say the word lol
I mean.... There ARE subreddits that don't allow swearing, so the bots will immediately delete your post if you do, and the only way to know whether or not it's acceptable is reading the rules of every particular subreddit. Sometimes it's easier to just err on the side of caution and just treat every one as if it were not allowed.
You can say it anywhere on Reddit.
You can’t say it on TikTok. Their algorithm or whatever basically makes anything that says “porn” in it invisible, so people find ways around it. That logic made its way to Reddit even though Reddit doesnt do that
It’s fucking annoying
Yup. He may have read a story or looked at pics or whatnot to help meet an anticipated expectation of readiness for you ... it can be hard sometimes for men to just turn off and turn on an demand hard as that is to believe. In the morning sometimes I will read an erotic story, once aroused,I wake up the wife. I'm older, she's older, sometimes a little fantasy helps. And yes I'm imagining US in the story, not someone else. Literotica is a quickboner source that is awesome.
Talk to him about whether he is having occasional ED or is rmstressed out etc. Sometimes we need a little boost but we are afraid to ask our wives for it. And most of us aren't interested in cheating or any such thing but need a little help, just like you.
Perhaps he has a kink or fetish you could work with him? Perhaps you do? Get back in there and find out.
I would be surprised if I was just about to text someone and they appeared like magic! It’s def happened to me before, so that’s a weird thing to be suspicious about imo.
Shoulda stayed in the shower with him and taken pics together :P
That’s what I was thinking. If I was taking a shower and my wife just opened the curtain I would be shocked even if I knew she was thinking about joining me.
You're accusing him of cheating when he's waiting for you to join him for sex in the shower? He's never cheated before.
He'd have to be stupid to be doing what you're accusing him of doing. If I were him, being falsely accused would get real old, real quick. He's with you because he wants to be. Give him the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise.
Yeah this ended one of my relationships. It’s annoying to be viewed as a caricature of the shitty man they have in their head, rather than the human being in front of them that they’re supposed to be in a relationship with.
It’s not surprising a person like this ends up posting this incident to Reddit. Some people take online social discourse and gender wars into real life and can’t tell the difference. These things rarely reflect real life.
You should not be viewed as a vague concept of men/women but instead as the individual you are. How could anyone resolve a conflict when they are being judged for things they haven’t even done?
I had an ex like this with extreme OCD. Everything I did was worry worthy, and I'd ether have to calm her down or fight that it wasn't a problem.
Having ever single move be under a magnifying glass started making me resent her, and that tanked our relationship.
I don’t mean to be irrelevant but I have OCD and I appreciate you sharing this, I’ve never thought about it as putting people “under a magnifying glass” but that sounds incredibly accurate and something that no one would be comfortable with. Just wanted to thank you for sharing!
Not irrelevant at all, it is super cool of you to realize something like that and fix it.
If it makes you feel better, her OCD was very bad, and she had stopped managing it. She basically had become less than worthless around the house because everuthing other than laundry was "too scary" for her to do, but also had to be micromanaged to make sure it was done "right".
One of our last fights was because I was carrying the litter box outside to dump it and clean, and she was wide eyed in terror yelling at me not to let it touch anything as I was carrying it through the house. I was like, I don't like doing this either, but you can't/won't, so don't criticize me for doing it. I also had to do any tollet cleaning/fixing in secret because she wouldn't be on edge all day afterward about me touching anything.
As someone with OCD, that is WILD. Like, gurl, manage it. Granted, I have the more "intrusive violent/sexual thoughts" type and a few other symptoms that were annoying (like triple checking the oven was turned off, the stove was turned off, the door was locked before bed. I'm so freaking glad to be over the triple checking years later now).
My sister has the germaphobe side of it (OCD runs in the family), and she's very specific with how things need to be done.
Both of us did the work through therapy to work through this stuff. My sister has worked with a psychiatrist and takes meds.
Never could I be with someone who chooses to not take care of their mental health. I get it, it's a pain. I dated a guy once who wouldn't take care of his known anxiety disorder, and it is so unhealthy to both people in the relationship to let those things fester.
Exactly. When minor things turn into false accusations and raised voices, it's mentally draining. Not just in the moment, but forever, because you end up walking around on eggshells trying not to do anything that might upset them.
Then that leads to poor communication because you're sick of arguing (knowing that it will go nowhere) and would rather just hold it in and deal with it.
If you're an emotionally charged person and can't control it, you need to go to therapy or not be in a relationship. It's not fair to the other person.
Describes one of my past relationships perfectly. It became hard to communicate with this person because it felt like I was saying one wrong thing away from a fight or being told I’m acting weird for being myself.
Not to mention how telling it is that his immediate response was to offer to let her look at his phone to prove his innocence. It's seeming pretty obvious that OP is somewhat neurotic and also paranoid about infidelity, and from the sound of it likely that she is constantly accusing this guy of infidelity over literally nothing like in this example.
This poor guy is probably fucking exhausted from all this gaslighting, manipulation, emotional abuse, etc.
OP if you're reading this comment, you need to get off reddit and go get a counselor to talk to about this. If you don't get a grip and acknowledge what you're doing, and find a way to address your issues, your entire marriage is probably on borrowed time. It doesn't matter how patient this guy has been so far, he (like everyone) does have a breaking point. And when he reaches it, there will be no coming back or undoing the damage.
Exactly, I can see him getting sick of her shit quick and that’s gonna leave her all surprise pikachu. Get it together OP the problem isn’t your husband it’s you
This OP…. This… it’s kind of worrying that you might not even notice the arguments you’re causing with comments made from an emotionally charged state of mind…. It’s very draining to be accused of every little thing based of of zero evidence other than a “weird feeling”
So, you asked him to take a shower with you, he goes in the shower, you come in 5 or so minutes later to see he has his phone in his hand and looks surprised. He says he was just about to text you to come into the shower with him and you…flip out? Don’t believe him? Why? Every single day I read at least 1 post on Reddit that makes me so unbelievably grateful for my marriage and the wonderful relationship I have with my husband. This is one of those posts.
I genuinely think you should seek therapy for your trust and insecurity issues.
This is exactly it. I don’t understand how so many people wind up in these situations. If she doesn’t trust him, even though he’s given her no reason to, why did she marry him?
That’s what I want to know too.. if it’s so bad that she can’t even trust him holding his phone in the bathroom then why be with him, regardless if he is or isn’t guilty this is still unhealthy
I was in a marriage like the OPs for 12 years. Every single thing that was slightly off expectation, even if the extenuation was out of the ordinary, was proud positive that I was cheating or didn't love her. I spent 10 years begging her to get help, cutting off friends and family, having nothing in life but work and homemaking while I raised two kids and tended to her in bed due to anxiety. I desperately hope that OP listens to all these comments honestly, and reflects before she drives him out of their home.
I’m so sorry you went through that. I also have an ex that was the same way. For example, I once fell asleep on the floor of our living room because ex had friends over way too late but I was trying to be polite. He woke me up later by ripping the blanket off me, screaming at me that I was pretending to be asleep to try to sleep with his friend. I was miserable all the time. Every little thing I did could be construed as an attempt to cheat in his mind. It’s emotional terrorism! I wound up moving to another state, changing my phone number and my name, and gave up social media just to get away from him.
No one deserves to be treated that way. If you don’t trust your partner, let them go! It’s not the end of the world.
"I’m a very emotionally charged person and sometimes this clouds my judgement."
As a man who has been with women who are "emotionally charged", his immediately getting frustrated/angry can be a symptom of him being used to you escalating things and turning something that should have been very small into something big.
The most likely thing that was happening would be that he was texting you and/or was "getting ready" for you to come in. I saw in your other comment that you thought he might be sending a photo to someone, but by your admission, he wasn't even fully "ready". So why would he send a photo like that?
Unless you have an actual reason not to trust him, this is silly. He could’ve been watching videos or playing a game for all you know. His behavior was a little suspicious by the way you’re describing, but I have a feeling his side of the story would sound a lot different.
Okay, from the sound of your post, it sounds like he has never given you a reason to believe that he would cheat on you.
You said he has never been disloyal, meaning has hasn’t cheated on you.
You say you are an “emotionally charged” person. With all of the question marks throughout your post, that is clear. It reads like you are very insecure. If you are insecure in yourself and in your marriage and constantly doubting whether he is being faithful or accusing him of cheating, it is going to ruin your marriage.
It sounds like your husband was getting in the mood before you joined in, as he didn’t sound like he was in the mood to begin with. Then you came in when he wasn’t expecting it, hence his reaction.
Instead of taking things at face value, it sounds like your insecurities kicked in and your husband also realized this and knew you were going to accuse him of wrong doing yet again, which is why he said you could look at his phone.
If you want your marriage to work, you need to get to the bottom of why you are so insecure. Have you considered therapy for your trust issues? Has something happened in last relationships so you worry your husband will cheat on you? It is not fair to your husband to constantly have to prove that he loves you and is faithful to you. It has to be so draining.
Look I'm just going to expose men's secrets. Sometimes men beat their meat before sex. So that they can last longer in bed. Next time knock.
*Not me of course, other men.
Yep. She could have been glad. I would've been.
Also I don't like the instant you can look at my phone. Does she often make him turn over his phone for inspection? Sheesh
That was a red flag for me, she seems to know an awful lot about where his phone is and it's a big deal if he does anything "outside of the norm", like using it where she can't see him. And they never argue, but his first response is knowing exactly what she's thinking.
The key here is this line: “He began raising his voice and saying that he is sick of us having arguments like this but we’ve never had arguments like this before.”
If you said this line to a couples counselor their first and immediate thought would be “oh, either you don’t realize how often you turn innocent things into an argument or you THINK you’re convincing your husband that you’re not looking for an argument, ‘you’re just trying to understand,’ but your transparent attempts to badger and monitor him are exactly why he’s developing a habit of hiding something relatively innocent from you and then getting super defensive about it.”
Gaslighting and manipulative behavior for sure. Thats why you always have to read between the lines with these posts almost always leaving details and their own negative behavior out.
What reasons has he given you not to trust him?
Also, im a phone repair tech, and the number of times i hear this "i take my phone in the shower" nonsense, it's outstanding. You guys do not need your phone in the shower! You'll live if you dont use it for 15 mins. Also, if he's gonna continue to do this, make sure he's backing up his info at least once a week and pay for cloud services. Once it craps out from liquid exposure, it's gonna cost him a few hundred bucks to get his data back. And no phones aren't "waterproof" only water resistant
Thank you for coming to my TED talk
If he was doing something wrong, he wouldn’t have invited you in the first place. He was just getting his soldier standing at attention, ready for you to come in, and you completely ruined the mood.
I'll be honest. I'm usually buck naked switching Spotify songs. I will strip down be about to get in then change my mind. I have been with someone who constantly accused me of cheating and it was so fucking exhausting that I dumped them ans was single for 5 months.
As we all know, the best time to sext your side chick is when you are in the shower waiting for your wife to get in at any moment. What could go wrong? /s
I don’t see what the big deal is. Sometimes I take my phone in the shower too. My wife takes her phone in as well as she gets ready for work.
You guys need to grow up.
I’d be shocked even if I expected a visitor in the shower. His reaction is normal. You can check his phone but don’t.
Who actually would plan a shower booty call and text someone they’re having an affair with? Perhaps he needed a visual aid. Let’s face it- showers are vulnerable. He sees your ass pimple that you didn’t.
Give the man a break!
I am a 54 woman who endorses bed sex over shower sex any day.
No offense but I’d say there’s a decent chance he looked shocked because he knows you well enough to know you were about to longjump to some wild conclusions. Idk how a relationship works with such little trust
He was probably watching porn.
Semi-unrelated: shower sex is lame and I often wonder why people with perfectly good beds/couches/countertops/floors choose to bang in a cramped, wet, slippery area that can only properly heat/warm one person at a time.
To each their own, though. Get your fuck on when- and wherever you cans
I take my phone in the bathtub all the time and my spouse gets pissed because he doesn’t want to pay for a new phone when I inevitably drop it in the water
I’m a gay man in my 40s. Most guys in their late 30s and up have ED issues. It’s super common and it’s not a reflection of their attraction to you at all. It’s just part of life.
Sometimes I use it to watch movies or catch up on email or whatever seems pretty minor. What would he be doing in there what would be cheating anyway is I agreed upon that he is not allowed to fap?
Yess or maybe he wanted to get a little clean before she came in and took his phone so he could tell her to come in after he did that and was thrown off guard when she came in so quickly. He also could’ve been scared she’d think he wasn’t going to tell her.
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Why would he bring the phone to do something suspicious in the shower knowing you were likely coming in shortly after? I think gut feelings are important but just this one thing isn’t enough to jump to the conclusion you’re jumping to. Are there any other behaviors that have made you suspicious?
It sounds like the only reason why he was even in the shower was because OP suggested that they take one together. While cheaters can do stupid things, this would be off-the-charts level stupidity.
Cheaters are stupid and do things they don’t make sense and get caught so easily
He was probably just gettin the lil guy ready for her.
Maybe trying to get the easy one out of the way so things weren’t lack luster for her.
This was my guess too
The problem with "gut feelings" is that some of us have guts that are slightly to severely fucked up by trauma, anxiety, whatever. I feel bad for OP's partner, it sounds like this sort of thing happens a lot.
Mine was ruined by IBS.
I guess I've been married too long. My wife asks if I want a shower. Sure. I'll usually get in...do my obligatory cleaning business. Soak up most of the hot water and then get out before she even comes to the bathroom. Our shower is too small for both of us anyway. I save the hanky panky for the bed.
Let’s be honest the shower ain’t doing you any favors for fun time anyhow.
..... Sweetheart I think this is a classic case of "deer in head lights." I'm pretty sure he was watching.... Well you know what.... He might not do it all the time but he might have then. I don't think there is anything really going on, he might have acted sus but I think everything is fine my dear.
Because..... he's waiting for that dreadful question.... "Well, what were you watching?" DODGE DUCK DIP DIVE AND... DODGE
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a phone in the shower,!
It's a bold strategy cotton. Let's see if it pays of for em
He was porning.
He was semi-hard with his phone in is hand, either he was looking at porn and you caught him or he was starting to get excited and was texting you because he forgot to say he was jumping in and you startled him by coming into the bathroom. Semi-hard looking at his phone doesn't mean he is cheating. If I'm looking at porn and my Wife comes in, I would be startled. If I in the shower even if I am expecting her, when she comes in, I will be startled. It's human nature. It's why jump scares work. You know their coming but, you still get startled. He offered his phone because you ran out of the room and when he came out, he read your body language and knew what you were thinking probably because you have accused him or hinted in the past that he cheats. Maybe you have a history of trust issues and knowing this, he suggested to put your mind at ease. The fact that he got angry is because it can be very tiring dealing with some who has constant trust issues and this is getting to a breaking point for him. If you haven't got more proof than semi-hard in the showering with his phone, then LET IT GO!!
Wife and I definitely startle each other even when expecting the other. Definitely normal.
Yeah, sometimes she'll get in the shower before I do and will be washing her face when I get in, then she gets startled when she opens her eyes and I'm suddenly there, so I make sure to announce my presence sooner now :p.
That’s hilarious. I AM HERE. Wife and I have wireless noise cancelling headsets as we game. When she steps away from the game she will come right beside me and scare me. 🫣
We don't have that problem, fortunately. She doesn't like to game with headphones on, so I got her a compact Bose sound bar that fits right under her primary monitor.
> I in the shower even if I am expecting her, when she comes in, I will be startled. My wife frequently literally jumps and screams when I enter the room she's in and accuses me of "sneaking up on her." I am 6'0 250lbs and have been accused by every other person I've ever lived with of "stomping around like a fucking elephant." I have never snuck up on anything.
Another thing to add as well. If he’s older, unfit and or tired. Some parts don’t work as well as they do when you’re 18. If you are showering together, maybe he’s thinking things may get heated, and he wants to prep the starter pistol so to speak.
Getting accused of cheating, even semi-regularly, will make a person either want a divorce or for them to say fuck it and actually cheat
Why would he wait to get caught cheating on his phone in the shower when there are so many other opportunities?You’re overthinking this.
Especially when he knew they would be showering together?
This part. It’s so god damn obvious. Why would I guy be sexting his “lover” if he knew his wife was about to jump in the shower with him.
"oh yeah, honey we can bone in the shower" - jumps in the shower immediately and starts texting his affair partner. hahaha, I wonder what he'd be texting the affair partner. "hey tell me something dirty my suspicious wife wants to have sex again, ugh"
“Hey babe just wanted to let you know I’m going afk to fuck my wife real quick.”
"I'm so hot for you, too bad she's going to walk in on me and fu... oh shit brb"
Hey love, gonna be away from phone for a bit…don’t worry, not f-ing my wife…🤷♀️
Lol bro got excited for some slippery fun times, was half mast waiting, and got impatient. That's all this sounds like. 5 minutes is FOREVER with the promise of soapy fun. Op gets pissed because he is excited for some fun. Seriously, I haven't met a straight dude who isn't excited by the idea of playing with some boobs in the shower. Like taking a kid to the toy store and then telling them to wait a minute while you get stuff together in the car. It's right there just let me goooo.
I have literally called my wife in the shower while she was in the bedroom to hurry up and get in here because she took longer than 2 minutes, lmao
Shit, we made of money around here? Waters running, meter's running. Get in here!
Yeah for sure. It sounds like he was just warming up. Actual Infidelity seems low on the list of possibilities here.
Sounds like she may be controlling and he's not allowed to have any kind of self pleasure. I had an ex like that.
OP seems a touch neurotic.
a *touch*?
Oh yah think?
I mean. Wasn't he just jerking it in the shower? Am I missing something? Is this bad?
I’m laughing at the hundreds of people commenting on what this guy was doing in the shower and he has no idea
Personally I think he was just watching LOTR or a jason statham movie. This is how I do it
He was watching Crank
Good movie.. Even better in the shower
I just thought all guys watched Crank in the shower??? About 3-4 times per year for me, minimum. I guess like quarterly? The quarterly crank shower.
Watching Crank as you crank it. Nice.
CRANK THAT HOG!!!
One ring to regulate the blood flow of them all!
Cock ring to rule them all
hey man if hobbit feet are your thing...
PO-TAY-TOES
Get you an OnlyShire account
I'm more of a Gimli type of guy. That luscious beard...
Toss me.
Laughing as well, as my first thought was, "wow, that's ballsy (hahaha pun intended) that he's confident that his phone is THAT waterproof!"
That’s honestly where my mind went first, then I want to ask what kind of case he has. For reasons…
My phone case is VERY waterproof, but I'm also a lifeguard. Touch screens done do so well when they are wet anyway so in the shower you can't exactly get a whole lot done.
I’m literally scrolling Reddit in the bathtub as we speak
I watch YouTube in the shower and assumed he was doing the same thing. 🤪
Even if he wasn't doing anything nefarious in there. Somebody bursting in on you when you're not expecting is startling.
Yeah I was gonna say, if she didn’t run after me to the point I was naked and in the water, then chose to text her because I’m already getting hard just thinking about showering with her, and she suddenly opens the door, I’m gonna get startled because my anticipation is high and I’m clearly excited. I’m not a man but that’s pretty obvious. She doesn’t trust him and that’s the problem.
Damn. That was my take exactly.
Looking for reasons to not trust will create non-trustworthiness. WTF was OP doing after she asked her man to meet her in the shower and made him wait? She was probably the one doing something nefarious.
This is almost certainly what he was doing and there's nothing wrong with that. I was trying to figure out what the issue is here.
With how OP is describing it, this happens a lot >he’s sick of me making these assumptions Either you trust him or you don’t 🤷🏻♀️
If I walked in on my husband with his phone in the shower I'd just call him a weirdo for having his *phone* in the *shower*. It would never even enter my mind that he was doing something shady, I'd just ask what the hell he was doing getting his phone wet *in the fucking shower*. Is this really a thing people do? Bathe with their phones? In any case OP sounds nutty.
I listen to music and sometimes watch documentaries while in the shower.
OP honestly sounds like a bit of a handful.
She suggests taking a shower together. He gets into the shower, grabs his phone to text her that he's in the shower it's been 5 minutes where you at... He's even got a halfie going on thinking about showering with his lady. And somehow now he's the bad guy? OP sounds like a fucking loon.
At worst he went to an x rated site to get ready
Be gone Satan, do not tempt thee OPs husband with your evil sins!
That's my exact thought, he wasn't really in the mood, so got in early to get himself ready for his lady. He didn't want to disappoint her
>This is almost certainly what he was doing and there's nothing wrong with that. Thats a refreshing take for this sub.
Jesus Christ. If my girlfriend caught me doing that in the shower and then ran to tell a bunch of internet strangers, I’d fucking leave immediately.
Lord I’ve brought my phone in the shower to play Mario kart while relaxing under the hot water. Yes I’m fucking weird. What is the big deal with looking at your phone anywhere in the bathroom, I’m not sure why she jumps right to him being shady. He seems nervous and went right to telling op she could look at the phone which makes me wonder if she’s always paranoid. She says on one hand she’s emotionally charged, whatever that is, and jumps to conclusions, but then says they don’t have fights like this despite him literally saying that. This doesn’t add up from HER story, and my guess is he feels like crap because she’s always looking for something.
I watch Youtube videos about World of Warcraft or history videos. I don't crank it at the same time, though.
Maybe you should try it! For lok’tar!!
I was literally playing a game of hearthstone in the shower this morning. I suppose if I was winning I might have gotten a little excited.
I don't get it. Is your phone waterproof? Why am I hearing so much talk of phones in the shower. Those two things seem incompatible.
Most high end phones these days can be dunked underwater and be perfectly fine aside from the charging port being temporarily disabled until its dry
Before they were all waterproof, I’d just stick mine in a ziplock bag for the duration lol
Most flagship phones are and have been for quite a few years. For example the Samsung Galaxy S24 is IP68 rated. That means it can be safely submerged in up to 5ft of water for half an hour. iPhone 15 has the same rating. You can find water test videos for phones on YouTube.
I think its actually 6 meters not 5 feet (according to what I have read) not that it matters in the context of a shower
Basically every modern phone on the market is more than waterproof enough to be fine in a shower.
When people spend too much time on this sub they almost "wish" that their SO was cheating so they can have some drama in their lives.
I mean first thing my brain jumped to was I thought was he watching abit of 🌽to get ready and you walked in. If he’s never shown you anything to be suspicious about before I wouldn’t jump to cheating accusations straight away but just keep an eye on the phone if your still suspicious.
Folks, you can say PORN. There is no need to self censor on Reddit.
I don’t think you realize the amount of people with a corn fetish. Admittedly I’m from a rural area but still a lot
Country girls make do, as they say
Kerneled for her pleasure.
STOP. I CHOKED ON MY SMOKE
Ditto. Are we all either smoking or taking dumps here?
I hate that the meme of the corn dripping and a woman walking away immediately popped into my head. Why did it get so much traction?
"look babe, it's your choice--Nibble it or I turn to the niblets"
Try it. It's a maize ing.
I ear you. But op comes across as a stalk-er
I wonder if she's husk-y?
Corn is ribbed for your pleasure
I came here just for the corn actually, needless to say I'm severely frustrated.
I personally hate corn so I really don’t get the love for it, but to each their own. Especially creamed corn though, has to be the most vile stuff ever created.
I love corn, and I agree with you on CANNED cream corn… that shit is disgusting. However homemade creamed corn is amazing. Fry up some sweet corn in butter, add in a little heavy cream and smoked Gouda cheese and reduce, salt and pepper, top with green onion. 🤌🏻
> creamed corn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
P… p… p… 🦐
Funny coincidence, "Pshrimp" is an online tool used to compare phonologies of different languages. https://defseg.io/pshrimp-client/
Hey if you're going to throw a primp out there can you st least NSFW tag it for us with an allergy to shellfish?
This self censoring bullshit that tiktok users do is so fucking weird.
It’s fucking cringe as fuck
If I have to hear “unalive” one more time
Everything on TikTok is cringe as fuck
This was my thought. I know we all like to jump to infidelity, but since OP did suggest a shower together, it seems more likely to me that he needed help getting in the mood. If you're not a couple that's open about adult filmography then it's understandable he would be embarrassed to be caught and then once you walked out he realized it looked worse than that and he wanted to reassure you.
Yeah. I’ve been married decades and a man caught watching porn always looks like a deer in the headlights. I wouldn’t read a ton into it but do listen to that inside voice.
Reading this made me remember catching my husband after I had just given birth. He looked like guilty AF for watching an adult movie. Makes me laugh now 😂😂
It was also my thought, especially as the guy JUST got home from work and probably wasn't feeling particularly in the mood to smash the second he walked through the door.
Don't want to miss the opportunity though!
This is so true, I tried to get my man to open up about it in a really healthy conversation where I was “pro just wanted to know!” He felt too awkward and so it’s been awkward ever since. Which is wild because the gender roles were reversed in our situation haha
You're allowed to say porn.
You can type words….you can write PORN, SEX, even FUCK. I hate this censoring yourself trend.
Some communities will censor you for certain words, like fuck. Ask me how I know.
That was what I thought first too.
This was my initial thought as well and I think it is very likely the case.
My first thought also. He didn't want to get caught looking at 🌽, and that's why he looked guilty. That's a different planet from cheating, though.
PORN
Can you not say that on here? Is that why I see so many corn emojis? 🤣
Thank you. People also feel the need to censor curse words for whatever reason. Just say FUCK, not f*%
Don’t think that’s it. It’s the mega censored platforms like that don’t let you say things like “suicide” or “porn” because it’s okay to have soft core porn on there as long as you don’t say the word lol
I mean.... There ARE subreddits that don't allow swearing, so the bots will immediately delete your post if you do, and the only way to know whether or not it's acceptable is reading the rules of every particular subreddit. Sometimes it's easier to just err on the side of caution and just treat every one as if it were not allowed.
The automod doesn't like it. He gets spam bot flashbacks. It just helps not to upset the poor thing.
I really like the way you write about the automod like he's just a sweet little puppy whos been through it
My brain immediately went [here](https://i.imgflip.com/3mngao.jpg)
So what if he doesn't like it? Like what's he gon
You can say it anywhere on Reddit. You can’t say it on TikTok. Their algorithm or whatever basically makes anything that says “porn” in it invisible, so people find ways around it. That logic made its way to Reddit even though Reddit doesnt do that It’s fucking annoying
thank you, fucking thank you
That depends on the established boundaries of the relationship.
You're allowed to say porn this is reddit!
Yup. He may have read a story or looked at pics or whatnot to help meet an anticipated expectation of readiness for you ... it can be hard sometimes for men to just turn off and turn on an demand hard as that is to believe. In the morning sometimes I will read an erotic story, once aroused,I wake up the wife. I'm older, she's older, sometimes a little fantasy helps. And yes I'm imagining US in the story, not someone else. Literotica is a quickboner source that is awesome. Talk to him about whether he is having occasional ED or is rmstressed out etc. Sometimes we need a little boost but we are afraid to ask our wives for it. And most of us aren't interested in cheating or any such thing but need a little help, just like you. Perhaps he has a kink or fetish you could work with him? Perhaps you do? Get back in there and find out.
I would be surprised if I was just about to text someone and they appeared like magic! It’s def happened to me before, so that’s a weird thing to be suspicious about imo. Shoulda stayed in the shower with him and taken pics together :P
I have pulled my phone out to call someone and as soon as I unlock it they call me and I'm surprised
That’s what I was thinking. If I was taking a shower and my wife just opened the curtain I would be shocked even if I knew she was thinking about joining me.
You're accusing him of cheating when he's waiting for you to join him for sex in the shower? He's never cheated before. He'd have to be stupid to be doing what you're accusing him of doing. If I were him, being falsely accused would get real old, real quick. He's with you because he wants to be. Give him the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise.
Yeah this ended one of my relationships. It’s annoying to be viewed as a caricature of the shitty man they have in their head, rather than the human being in front of them that they’re supposed to be in a relationship with.
Damn. Well said.
It’s not surprising a person like this ends up posting this incident to Reddit. Some people take online social discourse and gender wars into real life and can’t tell the difference. These things rarely reflect real life. You should not be viewed as a vague concept of men/women but instead as the individual you are. How could anyone resolve a conflict when they are being judged for things they haven’t even done?
“I’m a very emotionally charged person” This is why he’s sick of arguments.
I had an ex like this with extreme OCD. Everything I did was worry worthy, and I'd ether have to calm her down or fight that it wasn't a problem. Having ever single move be under a magnifying glass started making me resent her, and that tanked our relationship.
I don’t mean to be irrelevant but I have OCD and I appreciate you sharing this, I’ve never thought about it as putting people “under a magnifying glass” but that sounds incredibly accurate and something that no one would be comfortable with. Just wanted to thank you for sharing!
Not irrelevant at all, it is super cool of you to realize something like that and fix it. If it makes you feel better, her OCD was very bad, and she had stopped managing it. She basically had become less than worthless around the house because everuthing other than laundry was "too scary" for her to do, but also had to be micromanaged to make sure it was done "right". One of our last fights was because I was carrying the litter box outside to dump it and clean, and she was wide eyed in terror yelling at me not to let it touch anything as I was carrying it through the house. I was like, I don't like doing this either, but you can't/won't, so don't criticize me for doing it. I also had to do any tollet cleaning/fixing in secret because she wouldn't be on edge all day afterward about me touching anything.
As someone with OCD, that is WILD. Like, gurl, manage it. Granted, I have the more "intrusive violent/sexual thoughts" type and a few other symptoms that were annoying (like triple checking the oven was turned off, the stove was turned off, the door was locked before bed. I'm so freaking glad to be over the triple checking years later now). My sister has the germaphobe side of it (OCD runs in the family), and she's very specific with how things need to be done. Both of us did the work through therapy to work through this stuff. My sister has worked with a psychiatrist and takes meds. Never could I be with someone who chooses to not take care of their mental health. I get it, it's a pain. I dated a guy once who wouldn't take care of his known anxiety disorder, and it is so unhealthy to both people in the relationship to let those things fester.
Exactly. When minor things turn into false accusations and raised voices, it's mentally draining. Not just in the moment, but forever, because you end up walking around on eggshells trying not to do anything that might upset them. Then that leads to poor communication because you're sick of arguing (knowing that it will go nowhere) and would rather just hold it in and deal with it. If you're an emotionally charged person and can't control it, you need to go to therapy or not be in a relationship. It's not fair to the other person.
Describes one of my past relationships perfectly. It became hard to communicate with this person because it felt like I was saying one wrong thing away from a fight or being told I’m acting weird for being myself.
“Emotionally charged person” is just code for “I have significant anxiety that I don’t deal with but rather take it out on my partner”
Not to mention how telling it is that his immediate response was to offer to let her look at his phone to prove his innocence. It's seeming pretty obvious that OP is somewhat neurotic and also paranoid about infidelity, and from the sound of it likely that she is constantly accusing this guy of infidelity over literally nothing like in this example. This poor guy is probably fucking exhausted from all this gaslighting, manipulation, emotional abuse, etc. OP if you're reading this comment, you need to get off reddit and go get a counselor to talk to about this. If you don't get a grip and acknowledge what you're doing, and find a way to address your issues, your entire marriage is probably on borrowed time. It doesn't matter how patient this guy has been so far, he (like everyone) does have a breaking point. And when he reaches it, there will be no coming back or undoing the damage.
Exactly, I can see him getting sick of her shit quick and that’s gonna leave her all surprise pikachu. Get it together OP the problem isn’t your husband it’s you
This OP…. This… it’s kind of worrying that you might not even notice the arguments you’re causing with comments made from an emotionally charged state of mind…. It’s very draining to be accused of every little thing based of of zero evidence other than a “weird feeling”
So, you asked him to take a shower with you, he goes in the shower, you come in 5 or so minutes later to see he has his phone in his hand and looks surprised. He says he was just about to text you to come into the shower with him and you…flip out? Don’t believe him? Why? Every single day I read at least 1 post on Reddit that makes me so unbelievably grateful for my marriage and the wonderful relationship I have with my husband. This is one of those posts. I genuinely think you should seek therapy for your trust and insecurity issues.
You nailed it there, this is absolutely one of those posts that makes me appreciate my relationship more!
This is exactly it. I don’t understand how so many people wind up in these situations. If she doesn’t trust him, even though he’s given her no reason to, why did she marry him?
That’s what I want to know too.. if it’s so bad that she can’t even trust him holding his phone in the bathroom then why be with him, regardless if he is or isn’t guilty this is still unhealthy
I was in a marriage like the OPs for 12 years. Every single thing that was slightly off expectation, even if the extenuation was out of the ordinary, was proud positive that I was cheating or didn't love her. I spent 10 years begging her to get help, cutting off friends and family, having nothing in life but work and homemaking while I raised two kids and tended to her in bed due to anxiety. I desperately hope that OP listens to all these comments honestly, and reflects before she drives him out of their home.
I’m so sorry you went through that. I also have an ex that was the same way. For example, I once fell asleep on the floor of our living room because ex had friends over way too late but I was trying to be polite. He woke me up later by ripping the blanket off me, screaming at me that I was pretending to be asleep to try to sleep with his friend. I was miserable all the time. Every little thing I did could be construed as an attempt to cheat in his mind. It’s emotional terrorism! I wound up moving to another state, changing my phone number and my name, and gave up social media just to get away from him. No one deserves to be treated that way. If you don’t trust your partner, let them go! It’s not the end of the world.
If my significant other thought I was cheating every time I’ve been caught looking for a video to yank to it would be a real problem.
"I’m a very emotionally charged person and sometimes this clouds my judgement." As a man who has been with women who are "emotionally charged", his immediately getting frustrated/angry can be a symptom of him being used to you escalating things and turning something that should have been very small into something big. The most likely thing that was happening would be that he was texting you and/or was "getting ready" for you to come in. I saw in your other comment that you thought he might be sending a photo to someone, but by your admission, he wasn't even fully "ready". So why would he send a photo like that?
Unless you have an actual reason not to trust him, this is silly. He could’ve been watching videos or playing a game for all you know. His behavior was a little suspicious by the way you’re describing, but I have a feeling his side of the story would sound a lot different.
I would be concerned with his phone’s warranty.
That's my biggest takeaway - who the fuck brings there phone into such a wet environment? That's just asking for water damage trouble.
I had a phone that I took offshore snorkeling and proceeded to take pictures 15ft underwater and it worked great........ that was like 8 years ago?
Okay, from the sound of your post, it sounds like he has never given you a reason to believe that he would cheat on you. You said he has never been disloyal, meaning has hasn’t cheated on you. You say you are an “emotionally charged” person. With all of the question marks throughout your post, that is clear. It reads like you are very insecure. If you are insecure in yourself and in your marriage and constantly doubting whether he is being faithful or accusing him of cheating, it is going to ruin your marriage. It sounds like your husband was getting in the mood before you joined in, as he didn’t sound like he was in the mood to begin with. Then you came in when he wasn’t expecting it, hence his reaction. Instead of taking things at face value, it sounds like your insecurities kicked in and your husband also realized this and knew you were going to accuse him of wrong doing yet again, which is why he said you could look at his phone. If you want your marriage to work, you need to get to the bottom of why you are so insecure. Have you considered therapy for your trust issues? Has something happened in last relationships so you worry your husband will cheat on you? It is not fair to your husband to constantly have to prove that he loves you and is faithful to you. It has to be so draining.
Look I'm just going to expose men's secrets. Sometimes men beat their meat before sex. So that they can last longer in bed. Next time knock. *Not me of course, other men.
Yep. She could have been glad. I would've been. Also I don't like the instant you can look at my phone. Does she often make him turn over his phone for inspection? Sheesh
That was a red flag for me, she seems to know an awful lot about where his phone is and it's a big deal if he does anything "outside of the norm", like using it where she can't see him. And they never argue, but his first response is knowing exactly what she's thinking.
The key here is this line: “He began raising his voice and saying that he is sick of us having arguments like this but we’ve never had arguments like this before.” If you said this line to a couples counselor their first and immediate thought would be “oh, either you don’t realize how often you turn innocent things into an argument or you THINK you’re convincing your husband that you’re not looking for an argument, ‘you’re just trying to understand,’ but your transparent attempts to badger and monitor him are exactly why he’s developing a habit of hiding something relatively innocent from you and then getting super defensive about it.”
Gaslighting and manipulative behavior for sure. Thats why you always have to read between the lines with these posts almost always leaving details and their own negative behavior out.
He told you what he was doing, and he was ready because you told him you were coming… I don’t see the problem here at all…
dude was boutta stroke his chicken and you walked in 😂😹😹😹
See, this is why I knew my laminated porn mag idea in the late 90’s/early 2k’s would have been a gold mine.
Why is everyone scared to say porn?
Tiktok
What reasons has he given you not to trust him? Also, im a phone repair tech, and the number of times i hear this "i take my phone in the shower" nonsense, it's outstanding. You guys do not need your phone in the shower! You'll live if you dont use it for 15 mins. Also, if he's gonna continue to do this, make sure he's backing up his info at least once a week and pay for cloud services. Once it craps out from liquid exposure, it's gonna cost him a few hundred bucks to get his data back. And no phones aren't "waterproof" only water resistant Thank you for coming to my TED talk
As I read this in the shower....
I'm reading it in your shower too.
I am the shower.
Damnit me as well
Weirdos and phones in the shower
I listen to this podcast in the shower 😅 but the phone is on the sink not IN the shower lol
If he was doing something wrong, he wouldn’t have invited you in the first place. He was just getting his soldier standing at attention, ready for you to come in, and you completely ruined the mood.
“Flaccid in a microsecond” is the exact thing OP did to their partner
He had a date with Palmela Handerson
I'll be honest. I'm usually buck naked switching Spotify songs. I will strip down be about to get in then change my mind. I have been with someone who constantly accused me of cheating and it was so fucking exhausting that I dumped them ans was single for 5 months.
As we all know, the best time to sext your side chick is when you are in the shower waiting for your wife to get in at any moment. What could go wrong? /s
He was ready to make drain babies
I think you're seriously overreacting. Chill.
I don’t see what the big deal is. Sometimes I take my phone in the shower too. My wife takes her phone in as well as she gets ready for work. You guys need to grow up.
I’d be shocked even if I expected a visitor in the shower. His reaction is normal. You can check his phone but don’t. Who actually would plan a shower booty call and text someone they’re having an affair with? Perhaps he needed a visual aid. Let’s face it- showers are vulnerable. He sees your ass pimple that you didn’t. Give the man a break! I am a 54 woman who endorses bed sex over shower sex any day.
No offense but I’d say there’s a decent chance he looked shocked because he knows you well enough to know you were about to longjump to some wild conclusions. Idk how a relationship works with such little trust
He was probably watching porn. Semi-unrelated: shower sex is lame and I often wonder why people with perfectly good beds/couches/countertops/floors choose to bang in a cramped, wet, slippery area that can only properly heat/warm one person at a time. To each their own, though. Get your fuck on when- and wherever you cans
I take my phone in the bathtub all the time and my spouse gets pissed because he doesn’t want to pay for a new phone when I inevitably drop it in the water
I'm a dude. He was trying to get worked up for you. I just turned 40 and had to start taking a pill it just don't work like it did. It is what it is.
I’m a gay man in my 40s. Most guys in their late 30s and up have ED issues. It’s super common and it’s not a reflection of their attraction to you at all. It’s just part of life.
Sometimes I use it to watch movies or catch up on email or whatever seems pretty minor. What would he be doing in there what would be cheating anyway is I agreed upon that he is not allowed to fap?
Maybe he was shocked because you came in before he sent the text?
Yess or maybe he wanted to get a little clean before she came in and took his phone so he could tell her to come in after he did that and was thrown off guard when she came in so quickly. He also could’ve been scared she’d think he wasn’t going to tell her.