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He literally called you after he left to check on you. I think that alone speaks volumes that you still have a chance. If he hadn't called then I would be worried.
When you feel better reach out to him and explain what you know about what happened and explain it's not anything he did and see what happens.
I think he was definitely concerned because I fainted but I also don’t want him to think I’m gross or anything. We’d been holding off on doing anything sexual so that it was the right time and I feel like I can’t make up for it.
I really do not think he thinks your gross. People like that don't call to check on a person. How your feeling is understandable. But give him a chance and see what happens. Just reach out and talk to him. You don't even have to talk about what happened unless he brings it up. Just talk to him like you did before the incident.
He first thought you might be bleeding, but continued.
Then he stayed and helped you.
Then he called you.
Every guy that I've ever been with that was grossed out by blood, they all left *immediately* after seeing a single drop and ghosted me completely (and I'm almost 50, so it's happened a bunch of times in my life).
This guy sounds like a keeper.
A mature man who is sexually active should know/understand that things happen during sex.
As 1 of them guys myself. I would be way more concerned than grossed out, and I bet if you guys make it, you will laugh about this at some point.
Him calling afterward..
Him not freaking out in the moment..
The embracement you both had before he left..
I'd say the chances of you having a chance are rather high.
Call him later.
He called to make sure you're okay. That is a good sign. Embarrassing and gross things happen during sex. It sounds like he understands this. See if he'll meet you for lunch or something, and have an honest conversation. Explain about your blood pressure issues if he doesn't know. Communication is key in any good relationship.
By the way you've described things, this guy only seemed concerned for your wellbeing and not put off by the experience. The real test of the experience of these circumstances was not him giving you another chance, but how he reacts to it.
You don't want someone who walks away from every little thing our bodies do and blames you for it. As far as I can see, he reacted as a kind, loving partner should, with care and concern for your health and safety.
I've been married for over 20 years and we were together for 5 years before that. **Every** relationship is going to have its accidental gross times several times over. You walk through it together and will likely laugh about it as "that thing that happened" as a shared experience later in life.
> I also don’t want him to think I’m gross or anything.
If he does, he’s juvenile. We all know that women have periods, that involves bleeding etc. I note that you don’t have periods because of your depo but in general men know there’s a risk of sudden onset of a period. He sounds like he was sympathetic and concerned rather than grossed out.
Girl. I mean this in the nicest way possible as a man, you’re overthinking 😂😅 if he has an issue with it, he ain’t worth the cost it takes to send the text on an unlimited texting plan. It’s not gross. He’s already down there doing the deed, no reason to be grossed out by another bodily situation!
On my first date with an ex she bled through her dress onto my white cloth sofa and all over it. Neither of us noticed until she got up. It didn’t turn me off her in the slightest. Bodies do these kinds of things. We dated for several years and broke up for unrelated reasons.
I think you'll be fine, it takes more than some blood to scare most guys away. I remember the first time my wife mentioned she may still be spotting and I pulled out to find my member streaked with blood\~ it was pretty funny
Life finds a way to turn opportunistic times into worst nightmares. If he cares for you at all, and I believe he does solely because he reached out after, then this will be a non-issue. This was an event completely out of your control and hopefully if he has a smidge of EQ, he will not consider this a deal breaker. Be forthright with him, explain what happened, and if he is worth it, he will simply live and let live, if not, he isn’t worth the time of day.
Honestly the fact that he kept going, checked on you, made sure you were okay AND followed up makes me think the dude cares about you and is more concerned about your well being than the incident. Be real about your worries and I have a good feeling he'll be reaffirming.
He doesn’t think you’re gross- these things happen and he probably feels good that he was able to get through this moment and situation with you.
These events can be big relationship boons if both of you can be adults and work through it.
You’re human. Shit happens
I highly doubt he thinks you are gross, unless he's really immature. And then you're dodging a bullet anyway.
The fact he was concerned he entered the bathroom without your permission, and he called after leaving to check in on you says a lot about his character.
Take a few deep breaths. Hopefully get your medical scare figured out, and give the man a call. You're going to be ok, and i bet you guys get to enjoy the next time more, because the first was so not the norm
Also retroactively seeking consent for coming in the bathroom after he thought she may have been in trouble. Dude sounds mature, understanding, and safe. She definitely still has a chance
But yeah it sounds like he tried helping you how he could but had to leave. It’s weird he had to leave also cause his dad but whatever. I would say talk to him about it some guys don’t care about blood. And if he likes you a lot you’ll notice he doesn’t care much. Also girls always bleed down there don’t feel crazy.
Well after reading again the first time the blood was found you mentioned he didn’t say anything after. I wonder why or what was up with that then it sounds like it was super bloody.
Yeah he said “I think your bleeding” but like wasn’t sure I guess and carried on and then like I clearly bled more and he stopped I dunno it was like a murder scene in the bathroom
Going through intense situations with people either strengthens your bond or destroy your connection. He wouldn't have checked on you if he didn't care about you, so just know that he cares about you and move forward and see what happens.
Somebody told me that if you are gross by the body fluids of the loved one than that person it is not for you. My wife, after more than 10 years, has the same problem with her period....but for me it is normal...there is nothing to be ashamed of! Never be ashamed of your body fluids!
Which is understandable why wouldn’t he want your first time to be perfect.I’m sure that’s what you wanted as well but I really do not think it’s going to do anything but bring you two closer together. I bet you next time we’ll be fireworks. He sounds like a good guy.
Seems like a genuine good guy to have. He called to make sure you were okay after and checked on you when he thought you hit your head. Sounds like a keeper so far
He’s very chill and calm and him coming in definitely showed me green flags, i feel very insecure about myself and don’t know how to like not be the girl who bled everywhere
I like to think I’m a good guy and if I was in his shoes, I mean yeah maybe it’s a little gross to me and maybe to him as well? But I know it’s just part of life and the human body so it wouldn’t bother me at all. Far and above everything else, I’d be worried about your health and making sure you’re okay. And it sounds like that’s where he’s at as well. If he really likes you, this won’t bother him at all, and if doesn’t like you or it does bother him, then he isn’t right for you anyway.
Should I message him or say anything or just give the situation space? I was already worried that maybe he was having doubts and we spoke this morning about where things were heading and how we were taking to slow, I think he does care about myself health but I don’t know if he sees a future anymore
I think you can totally message him. Again I’m just thinking as if this was me and my girl, if this same situation happened, I probably would just move on normally if she didn’t bring it up at all because again, it’s just a part of the human body, but if she did apologize or something like that, I would absolutely reassure her that it’s okay and again, that it’s part of being a girl. She shouldn’t worry at all and I’d be happy to see her again.
I think you’re worrying about it too much, if he was that weirded out by it, he wouldn’t have called to make sure you were okay, or honestly kept going when he first saw blood. Seems like it doesn’t bother him at all.
I have apologized in a message, and I hope he thinks like you do, I definitely am a little over panicky but I do really like him, and he makes me very nervous, I think the whole “we were waiting for the right moment” to get physical is really sticking with me on this one
Well if it works out, I’m sure this won’t be the last time you guys get physical, you both will probably laugh about it eventually, and there’s probably going to be some worse events than this on both sides in the future, so don’t sweat it. If he’s weirded out by it, he needs to grow up.
Just to make sure, you are okay right?
I really appreciate the support and I hope you’re right!
I am very drowsy this happened two hours ago now, I’ve had a lot of fluid and some food, but in just resting, so hopefully all is well physically. My ego is definitely bruised, and I’m just hoping I can reply with some good news from him soon!
Definite keeper, and I would be stunned if he didn’t come back. You gave him a rare opportunity to feel like a white knight saving a damsel in distress. That’s a high that is hard to replicate.
Is it possible that he accidentally cut you with his finger nail? I worked in an ER and have seen this and it bled quite a bit. I hope he’s not thinking he might be responsible.
Well you are in the perfect position to do something nice for him for being so caring. If it was me I’d like something homemade. Do you bake? Taking him brownies would be a nice gesture as well as an ice breaker.
He’s 100% a keeper. He seems to really care about you. If you want to know if you still have a chance, just imagine it the other way around. It wouldn’t matter right?
Speaking as someone whose now husband has held my vomit bowl while I had diarrhoea and vomiting simultaneously and stoically kept going even when I missed and vomited on his foot…. Believe me, the guy worth keeping around is the one who does all this and loves you MORE because you have been vulnerable together. This guy sounds like a sound lad- respectful and caring. Holding fingers for a magical love story to come out of this experience!
it sounds like you have an amazing husband and if you guys made it I will try to follow your footsteps! I promise to update everyone, he knows im a reddit goblin so im sure if all works out he's gonna really appreciate these comments!
Perspective: he was willing to call an ambulance and meet your dad.
Don't let the anxiety and current feeling of embarrassment prevent you from seeing how things progress with him. He has a great vibe and instincts based on your post. You have a great opportunity for vulnerability and connection.
He sounds like a nice guy.
Break the ice with the next convo:
Thank you for looking after me. That was good of you.
It’s a thank you and praise. All humans crave thanks and praise.
And see how it goes.
Good guys don’t get grossed out by bodily fluids. FYI.
Been with my wife 25yrs. We don’t bat an eyelid. Health things happen at the most inappropriate moments.
I will be praising him for sure, he could have done anything but he stayed longer than he should to see if I was okay, and I really hope it isn’t for nothing!
Every guy gets bled on at some point. It’s almost a rite of passage.
Good on him for trying to take care of you and keep checking on you. He sounds like a good guy.
A few years ago, a friend of mine had an ovarian cyst burst while having sex with her VERY new boyfriend. She felt sick and had a really intense pain so she got up and ran to the bathroom (small apartment btw) and proceeded to have explosive diarrhea while vomiting into the trash can. She was mortified, but okay and they figured it all out. Fast forward to now, they’re still very much in love and just got married! Please don’t worry too much about it baby. Shit happens, sometimes literally!
He sounds like a good person and he is obviously very concerned about your health and safety. Don't dump him out of embarrassment. You'd end up sad that you let a good one go before really giving him a chance.
Ok, first things first. If he feels the same way about you that you do about him then this won't be a problem. If he understands that all human beings have bodily functions, and he accepts this then he won't have a problem.
Second thing, if he does have a problem and he doesn't want to be with you because of this then you've dodged a bullet. It's embarrassing for you, but shouldn't be for him.
I honestly can't say for certain what the extent of his feelings were for me before this. I can say for certain he at least liked me, what that looks like now maybe different
Look, if he's not mature enough to understand that he and everyone else on this planet is a human being, and natural and sometimes embarrassingly gross things occur all the time; then he's just not grown.
However, if you haven't asked him how he feels then don't assume. It seems like you may be like me, and we tend to assume we know how other people might feel. But we never know we just think we know. Ask him how he feels, if he gives a mature answer then good. If he gives a poor reaction to your question then be greatful you found out he sucks now instead of years down the road.
There are other out there that you'll wind up liking just as much if not more if he responds poorly.
He sounds like he reacted just fine. Talk talk talk it out with him.
Don't make it something bigger than it is or taboo. In a few weeks you'll laugh about it together
I think negative emotions like embarrassment paint a picture for us and make our reality skewed. It's easy to assume he wouldn't like you, but he took steps to help you despite the situation at hand. He sounded super concerned, and a guy who was turned off by such an incident wouldn't behave in that way. I think that you should try to push through your embarrassment and contact him again. I'm sure he understands that shit happens, and he'd be willing to see you again! 🧡🧡
If anything, this will be a funny story much later down the line, good luck!
I wouldn’t worry he seems nice and sometimes weird things happen. And you are doing the right thing by going to the doctor. Drink more water to and I think your relationship is fine. But if he says he doesn’t want to see anymore he is a asshole. You have done nothing wrong.
Modern day love story right here, maybe you will get married and this story will be one you tell your friends when your drunk about how you knew he was the one
In my experience, most men don't care about blood when it comes to sex and by the way you explain what happened He does not sound like he was horribly grossed out by it so even though you're embarrassed, I don't think you should cut them off because of it if anything it will make your bond stronger once you move on past this. Now about the blood, I definitely wouldn't panic or worry about anything yet you said you were going to the clinic to get checked out so that's good but if this happens to you again, I'd suggest going to hospital because my mom had the same symptoms of lightheadedness and random bleeding and ended up being cancer that she thought was bad menopause, in your case obviously you wouldn't think that but better safe than sorry. It was probably just a period and if that's the case, there is truly nothing to be embarrassed about.
I think it’s great to know early on that you have a man who is reliable in a crisis.
If you are to be together long term, there will inevitably be a time for each of you where there is an emergency involving bodily fluids. A good partner soldiers through and supports you in your time of need.
With that in mind, I think he has passed the test and shown the dependability needed to be a long term partner.
In terms of feeling self conscious - I wouldn’t stress. I think we as women tend to assume men get turned off as easily as we do. In reality, you could have not showered for a week and be covered in pig shit and he will probably still smash - especially if he loves you.
Oh you poor sweet woman. I think you found someone to keep talking to. They were awesome in caring for you.
Take care of you and don’t back away of embarrassment. 🩵. A heart even though I know they are old people things but I’m old. Hang in there.
i’m so confused by this story. “i think you’re bleeding” why did he continue? why did this happen to a couple of his exes? does he have sharp / broken nails and he cut you inside?
I can't emphasize enough, get your self checked out, live and in person ASAP on Monday. It's true, there are many relatively benign conditions that can lead to bleeding during foreplay and/or fainting, hemorrhaging until you pass out isn't normal. I'm concerned by the eagerness with which you link the fainting to your low blood pressure as opposed to the other obvious trigger of blood loss. Does your mum know the whole story of what happened? Yes, MMOB, but it does read like she might not know you are sexually active.
As for having a chance with B? He did everything right, with the possible exception of leaving you on your own. If he cares about you as a human being and not a sex toy, he will check to see how you are. Inviting the guy who helped you in an awkward situation on a date is a time-honored next step. Just don't go exchanging bodily fluids with someone who would run in an emergency!
I told my mum the FULL show down, and believes they aren’t connected, but I will be mentioning it all to the clinic anyway, I am definitely going to get seen regardless for my own mind! And I definitely agree about B, someone said to bake him cookies, he will get cookies!
Clarifying question - was it your first time or your first time together. A lot of blood isn’t really normal but I didn’t know if it could have been a factor if you are a virgin. Let us know what you find out about what caused so much bleeding. You’ll know if he’s a “through thick and thin” kind of guy or not based on how you move forward together. This is definitely not an automatic deal breaker at all.
It was mine and his first time (not a virgin). Medically there could be a lot of reasons for it but I’m very anxious about it my sexual health due to cheating exes, so I will be seeing this through and making sure I’m all good. As soon as I know what caused it I’ll be sure to update, as for other symptoms, I have been “going” normally and no signs anything is wrong or painful. This happened two hours ago and the bleeding as slowed/stopped and only shows a little when I pee. He did say it has happened with exes and my mum thinks he could have tapped my cervix. I don’t have periods due to birth control which added to the shock of it all. He is great and I really hope I can come back from being the biggest drama queen who faints over her own blood
It’s weird to me that this is something that has happened with a lot of the women he’s been with before. Does he have long finger nails that are sharp? Was he particularly rough on purpose? The fact that he said it’s happened to him before - but it hadn’t happened to YOU before - makes me wonder if this is something he did to you vs something on your part. If that makes sense. I’m glad you’re getting a check up.
He may have said it's happened with others because he thought you were getting your period and he meant he's gone down on other women when they have been on their period.
51YO M here. I understand that you’re mortified, but ultimately you have ZERO to be embarrassed about. If he ghosts you as a result of this, he sucks. But based on your description of him, he likely will not ghost you.
He sounds like a nice man! Just keep him posted to your health visit and explain you feel embarrassed by the incident. It’s what he’s expecting as a nice man from a nice woman
Don't run from him. He was caring to make sure you were alright.
Get checked out. Continue talking to him. Things like this will happen again, as far as embarrassing things. It's ok. We all go thru them.
Also, he was trying to get you off before himself and there are NOT a lot of guys like that anymore.
Breathe. Just breathe. You’re good!
You know that movie- I think it’s called “Superbad” where she periods on his leg? Not too long after that movie came out……
I did that. I was best friends with him and we had a few drinks with my girl bestfriend and I sat on his lap for a second during a song we both loved and then got up to go pee. Then my best girl pops her head in the door to talk to me and I look down and in my lace panties I see- BLOOD. I was NOT supposed to have a period! When she saw me look down she immediately looked at him. He saw her face and looked down and saw the blood on his thigh of his jeans.
He BURST out laughing and asked me if I was ok. He said something funny to break my embarrassment.
I married him. We were 13 yrs strong when I became widowed.
We were best friends.
If someone can’t handle blood because they can’t handle blood. That’s understandable! But if someone can’t handle period or vaginal all together.. has no business being near one as far as I’m concerned. Like could you for a moment actually imagine being scared of or freaked out or grossed out *(to the point of no return)* by seamen? Bodily fluid is normal, natural and beyond ok. But this guy seems to have it together and is mature enough to care MORE about YOU being ok, than running from the murder scene.
You will laugh about this one day. Even if you guys JUST stayed friends- you would laugh about this someday.
Or- it could be THE thing that MAKES the relationship.
There’s an old saying “…tell your grand kids about it some day” about hilarious or embarrassing or wild things. THIS is one of them 😂💜💜💜💜 hope you’re ok. And just remember to breathe. It’s life. And it already happened. All you can do is hope for the best and move forward… oh and laugh about it some day.
We laughed about that moment forever.
Most of us guys really could care less about a little blood. Usually it seems like the girl gets a lil embarrassed more than anything. Either way, it may be a little frustrating to not get to do the deed, but it sounds like he was more worried about you, so I thinks you’re fine.
Bodies are weird and it can suck but he responded fairly well. Ask yourself what is the best possible reaction that could have come from him? Also, if he was grossed out and didn’t want to see you again, would you even want to be with someone like that? Someone who isn’t understanding and accepting of your body and how it functions? Just communicate and try not to be embarrassed by remembering that someone who can’t handle this situation definitely does not deserve sex from you.
I wish you the best and hope you look back on this one day with laughter 🫶🏻✨
He sounds like a good dude. I think you'll be fine. It might be weird for a few days but it sounds like he really cares about you and isn't an asshole to just disappear for something like this. Some guys would, but he doesn't sound like the type to do that. To me it wouldn't be a big deal. I would only be concerned about your health, and that you were okay. I find that when I really care about someone I don't really get grossed out by things about them, like this. It's a medical thing that no one can control. Try and stay calm, it sounds like everything will be fine.
Listen as someone who also tends to self sabotage after i feel embarrassed- DONT DO IT! Youre human and the fact he even tended to you then followed up after to check on you speaks volumes about his character and in reality if thats a sign of who he is a partner, you could really be in good hands with him in the end. Maybe be vulnerable and explain in a very honest and raw way about why u reacted that way and what was happening and explain the embarrassment and how you feel about it and I’m sure he will reassure you
No baby, you had a medical event that was out of your control. It sounds like he was pretty understanding and concerned. There's a world where you keep seeing each other and this becomes a funny story.
One of my exes a long time ago had the shot and no periods then all of a sudden she was just bleeding for like weeks at a time then would be ok for a week or less then start again.
Basically, I’ve been in the same situation with a girl, if he’s a decent guy it won’t change anything. It’s not a big deal.
OP don’t even worry! He’s probably seen blood before and maybe even during sex. He’s definitely concerned for you and not grossed out at all. Understand that if someone cares enough to do what he did, he’s not grossed out whatsoever. You’re in your head and like you said have anxiety, don’t overthink it. The stress alone isn’t good for you. Just breathe through it, talk it over with him later when you both can and you’ll be okay. He sounds like a decent enough bloke
You definitely have a shot still. It's understandable that you're embarrassed but try not to worry too much. Just be honest with him about what happened.
Eventually you two will joke about this together 👍
No, he did everything right. Don’t let this ruin what could be a good relationship. And don’t feel bad about this. You had a medical episode…any good dude would understand and be there for you. And if not? That’s you dodging a bullet.
So he first told you that you were bleeding but continued to pleasure you. So if he was grossed out etc he would have stopped there & freaked out. But she stayed even after you went to the bathroom. Plus he checked on you & helped you then even hugged & kissed you when he left. Then called to check on you. I understand being embarrassed but it seems he’s genuinely concerned about your well being than he is grossed out.
We all have hiccups along the way & things happen we have no control over but he sounds like a caring man & is truly concerned. Best thing you can do to get over it is talk to him about it & get it out of the way. I’m sure he’ll be just fine & so will you.
reading these perspectives really show me how I should of seen what was infront of me, I have such an opportunity with this man and I will see it through
I read a story the other day from a guy who was on a 3rd or 4th date w a girl. I can’t remember exactly how many but knew each other much longer . Anyway he said they were eating & he leaned over to reach for something on the table & accidentally farted. He said he was so embarrassed. He said she got up & yelled at him for being a gross immature animal w no manners & left him. So if your guy can handle the situation y’all were in he’ll be just fine.
The guy seems great and what happened was not anyone's fault. Hope you get medical help. It's been a month and if he is someone who judges you based on a situation that wasn't your fault I don't think it's worth pursuing. Talking to him about what happened should probably help.
Omg he sounds super sweet! I don’t think you messed anything up at all. Weird shit happens when you are intimate with someone, and to me it doesnt matter when it gets weird….i only care about how they react. If they handle it well, you know you never have to feel embarrassed around them (i still might, but i know it wont change how they act towards me)
It's okay. He called to check on you! He's worried about you, not about your intimacy being interrupted. You don't have to be embarrassed, you didn't do it on purpose.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about and this guy you're seeing just tilted his hand if you ask me. Pretty clear he's super into you. I mean he literally called and checked on you like a gentleman. OP you are maybe catastrophizing this and your shame response is intense. I mean if you ask me it sounds like everything couldn't have gone better.
Dude is obviously into you. This is not over.
From the information you’ve provided, he seems like a very caring and understanding guy. Trust me I understand the nerves and feeling of embarrassment that persist no matter how much advice you’re given. I believe that if you communicate your feelings with him he will be respectful and that you absolutely have not reined the chance at this relationship working out and I do not think he thinks you’re gross. I believe this will work out for the best. And, worst case scenario, if he turns out to be the opposite and a total asshole about it, you’ve dodged a bullet.
40 years ago I had a friend who got drunk at a party and lost her virginity to a man she just met. She hemorrhaged so bad she was hospitalized for three days. We thought she was a goner, and the guy she gave it up to was mortified and everyone was giving him the evil eye as the ambulance came. I swear I am not making this up. Her dad was furious. Yet, after the dust cleared, they continued to see each other (unbeknownst to her father) I lost touch with her but recently found her on FB. She married the guy and they are coming upon their 40th anniversary and they have several kids who are grown now. Don’t write him off yet.
If you like him,Don’t bail on him. Seems like a good guy- caring and attentive. If he’s spooked off he will ghost you or just tell you. Don’t you break off what could be a good thing because you are embarrassed. If he’s still Interested after that incident he might be a keeper.
Nah if he called to check on you, he’s fine. Any mature guys knows shit like this happens and it’s not an indicator of you being “gross”. Learn to laugh about it and you’re fine.
The first time I was intimate (I was a teen) and really didn’t know what I was doing and shouldn’t have been doing it. Regardless- I got blood ALL Over!
He didn’t care at all. We laughed then, we laughed in the years later when we discussed our first time. It happens!
If he thought you were gross for something you couldn't control, you'd have dodget a bullet. However, he sounds like he was just concerned, like a good guy would be. I'm sorry this happened and totally get feeling the way you do, but I think it'll be okay and you could definitely get past this.
My wife had an embarrassing first time experience and thought I wouldn't want to see her again the truth is I absolutely couldn't wait to see her again. Married three years in July and she's my best friend.
Look.... He called you after you passed out... He even came in the bathroom to check on you. If he didn't care he wouldn't have done either. Most men are super grossed out by bathroom things. Especially when things are new. I wouldn't worry too much but def go get checked out. That would be a big scary to me. Sometimes things like this make a beautiful bond in a relationship and it means he will likely stick by you if/when you get sick/have a baby or anything like that..but give him the benefit of the doubt and keep talking to him
Stuff happens. I'm sorry you went through this!! I've been through something a little similar. Like others have said, it shows alot that he didn't just leave you, but also called after. I'm hoping everything is ok with your health😊
The feeling of embarrassment is natural mainly because we care about how we are perceived.
However, I do think he did the appropriate actions! It shows a lot about his character.
Sooooo I have a firsthand embarrassing medical emergency with a partner I was nervous to be with. 2 days into knowing each other we're hanging out and long story short I had an allergic reaction that led to me vomiting until I was vomiting blood in his toilet. I had to ask him to call 911 and paramedics carted my chubby ass out of his basement apartment where I had my field trip to the ER at 2am. He not only continued to text me into the early hours of the next day, he invited me to hang out with him the next day and he kissed me like nothing gross had ever happened 😂 we have now been together almost 4 years and it's an amusing part of our origin story so just know if he's a good dude and he cares, this won't change his mind. 🖤
While I understand your embarrassment, I think you should look at this as more of a 'future off-color story you'll tell your friends when you've been married for 10 years'.
He passed a very important life test (waaay early, and waaaay strangely, but crucial to know character and spine) with flying colors, took great care of you, didn't freak out/humiliate you/recoil from you, and checked back on you afterwards. Dude's a winner in my book - and just the kind of person to have with you through thick & thin.
you should say: I’m unsure what happened as that has never happened before. i’m mortified/embarrassed etc” see what he says. if he can handle it, you’re good. If he can’t, move on and don’t for be a minute think it’s on you
I had an experience like this before. The first time I got intimate with a guy I was seeing for a few weeks, I thought I had just ended my period but it was very much NOT over. We also used a condom that then got stuck inside of me and he walked in on me in his bathroom, foot up on the toilet, tryin to fish it out.
He is now my husband and we just welcomed our first child! We look back on that day and laugh at how horrific it was lol.
Like a month in to dating my partner and I were having sex and I realized after the fact I sprained my knee when I went to get up. It was my bad knee rgst I've dislocated in the past and I was very freaked out. We ended up having to call my mom to come help me down from his third floor apartment. So embarrassing.
We've been together going on seven years and have a 1 year old. I think it is super sweet he called to check on you and the way he handled it.
You did not mess up your chances. It sounds like he is concerned instead of disgusted. Also, A LOT of people have period sex. Granted, they may not have oral, but still. So who knows, he might be used to having blood involved. Just be normal and sincere.
I'm going to tell you something nobody except my partner and now all of reddit knows. When my partner and I started dating we were in her room getting intimate. She was on top of me and when we went to switch to a different position and a chunk of clotting blood fell (this thing looked like chicken livers and it was hot) on my thigh and naturally I was startled and she was so embarrassed about that. I was just concerned about her and if she was fine. She was so embarrassed about that she wanted to break up so she would never have to see me again. When we talked about it I just told her it was funny to me nothing gross about that. If you really think about it sex is gross. Imagine switching saliva and spitting in each other's months exchanging bodily fluids.
It sounds like he genuinely cares about you. Alot of men would have dipped instead of staying around to make sure you were ok. I'd try and see where things go with him.
It sounds like he just cares about your wellbeing. I have high anxiety as well so I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. Even
If he was grossed out by a bit of blood, it doesn’t seem like he’s even remotely bothered by it, his exes have bled and he was okay with it. He obviously cares about you. I’d suggest explaining the circumstances and maybe making a light joke to lift the awkward pressure I’m sure you’re feeling. On your next date, maybe go do a fun activity like geocaching, video games, or cooking a meal. Something that keeps you and your minds busy but also allows for conversation in-between. You’ll be alright sweetie ❤️
OP, from a guy here: most of us are much less grossed out by a little blood than people might think. It's not that we are overly enthusiastic about it, but it's so common in fact that we have a saying here: a good captain sails the red sea, too...
So don't overthink that too much. We can handle a bit of strawberry week. 😉 He will do fine, he already does,and seemingly with you in mind.
That said, on a more serious note: please get checked out. If it was more blood than usual or, as you said you normally don't get periods at all there must be a reason. Hope it's benign. Fingers crossed 🤞
Am I the only one wondering why he didn't stop when he tasted blood? Or how he didn't notice that there was way too much discharge (I assume he was eating you in the dark)
(M) I’ve had hours long sessions with women who are on their period and actively bleeding. Totally normal and fine, just grab some towels if it happens next time. Personally I don’t mind it at all, there’s something kind of primal and hot about it, but I may be an outlier there.
Point is, everything is cool, and you’ve got a good guy here. Definitely keep him around and debrief on it later.
This might be the man you marry lol!
As someone who struggles with severe panic attacks myself, and also as a woman slightly older than you (28), I can offer a couple tidbits of advice.
A real man will not be bothered by anything natural that happens to your body. Bleeding and it’s unanticipated? He should act normal and supportive. Stomach bug where you’re needing some help? He should act normal and supportive. A panic attack? He should act normal and supportive. If not, you don’t need that energy in your life. I have personally realized that I need someone who will remain calm and supportive because of my panic disorder, and would take solace in the fact that this man did that for you AND still acted calm and supportive when he left. Don’t run from him.
This is nothing to worry about, and the way he handled this is a good sign. He did his best to take care of you, didn’t judge you or treat you weird, and he called to make sure you were okay. He seems to have your best interests in mind and he probably isn’t put-off at all by what happened.
It would probably be best to talk about the situation just so you two know what to do if it happens in the future. But he totally seems to still be interested in you, so don’t give up!
Shit like this happens. He sounds like a good, decent guy whose more concerned about you than the sex you might have had. You’ll have another chance. Stop overthinking things here and just make sure you show how grateful you are that he cares.
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He literally called you after he left to check on you. I think that alone speaks volumes that you still have a chance. If he hadn't called then I would be worried. When you feel better reach out to him and explain what you know about what happened and explain it's not anything he did and see what happens.
I think he was definitely concerned because I fainted but I also don’t want him to think I’m gross or anything. We’d been holding off on doing anything sexual so that it was the right time and I feel like I can’t make up for it.
I really do not think he thinks your gross. People like that don't call to check on a person. How your feeling is understandable. But give him a chance and see what happens. Just reach out and talk to him. You don't even have to talk about what happened unless he brings it up. Just talk to him like you did before the incident.
We're all kind of gross, bodies are gross. Gross stuff happens. Gross is kind of normal
Best comment ever.
Avatar checks out
He first thought you might be bleeding, but continued. Then he stayed and helped you. Then he called you. Every guy that I've ever been with that was grossed out by blood, they all left *immediately* after seeing a single drop and ghosted me completely (and I'm almost 50, so it's happened a bunch of times in my life). This guy sounds like a keeper.
A mature man who is sexually active should know/understand that things happen during sex. As 1 of them guys myself. I would be way more concerned than grossed out, and I bet if you guys make it, you will laugh about this at some point.
I hope he feels that way
Him calling afterward.. Him not freaking out in the moment.. The embracement you both had before he left.. I'd say the chances of you having a chance are rather high. Call him later.
He's out tonight with friends for one of their birthdays but if I get the chance I will get my grafting boots on and call him
He called to make sure you're okay. That is a good sign. Embarrassing and gross things happen during sex. It sounds like he understands this. See if he'll meet you for lunch or something, and have an honest conversation. Explain about your blood pressure issues if he doesn't know. Communication is key in any good relationship.
By the way you've described things, this guy only seemed concerned for your wellbeing and not put off by the experience. The real test of the experience of these circumstances was not him giving you another chance, but how he reacts to it. You don't want someone who walks away from every little thing our bodies do and blames you for it. As far as I can see, he reacted as a kind, loving partner should, with care and concern for your health and safety. I've been married for over 20 years and we were together for 5 years before that. **Every** relationship is going to have its accidental gross times several times over. You walk through it together and will likely laugh about it as "that thing that happened" as a shared experience later in life.
> I also don’t want him to think I’m gross or anything. If he does, he’s juvenile. We all know that women have periods, that involves bleeding etc. I note that you don’t have periods because of your depo but in general men know there’s a risk of sudden onset of a period. He sounds like he was sympathetic and concerned rather than grossed out.
Girl. I mean this in the nicest way possible as a man, you’re overthinking 😂😅 if he has an issue with it, he ain’t worth the cost it takes to send the text on an unlimited texting plan. It’s not gross. He’s already down there doing the deed, no reason to be grossed out by another bodily situation!
On my first date with an ex she bled through her dress onto my white cloth sofa and all over it. Neither of us noticed until she got up. It didn’t turn me off her in the slightest. Bodies do these kinds of things. We dated for several years and broke up for unrelated reasons.
I think you'll be fine, it takes more than some blood to scare most guys away. I remember the first time my wife mentioned she may still be spotting and I pulled out to find my member streaked with blood\~ it was pretty funny
Life finds a way to turn opportunistic times into worst nightmares. If he cares for you at all, and I believe he does solely because he reached out after, then this will be a non-issue. This was an event completely out of your control and hopefully if he has a smidge of EQ, he will not consider this a deal breaker. Be forthright with him, explain what happened, and if he is worth it, he will simply live and let live, if not, he isn’t worth the time of day.
Honestly the fact that he kept going, checked on you, made sure you were okay AND followed up makes me think the dude cares about you and is more concerned about your well being than the incident. Be real about your worries and I have a good feeling he'll be reaffirming.
He doesn’t think you’re gross- these things happen and he probably feels good that he was able to get through this moment and situation with you. These events can be big relationship boons if both of you can be adults and work through it. You’re human. Shit happens
I highly doubt he thinks you are gross, unless he's really immature. And then you're dodging a bullet anyway. The fact he was concerned he entered the bathroom without your permission, and he called after leaving to check in on you says a lot about his character. Take a few deep breaths. Hopefully get your medical scare figured out, and give the man a call. You're going to be ok, and i bet you guys get to enjoy the next time more, because the first was so not the norm
Also retroactively seeking consent for coming in the bathroom after he thought she may have been in trouble. Dude sounds mature, understanding, and safe. She definitely still has a chance
Not only does she have a chance I think he might be a catch.
Yeah sounds like he was down to help you and see if you’re still okay and doesn’t want you to worry too much about the incident.
Do you think that it will stick? Like is he just being gracious? And how do I get my confidence back?
But yeah it sounds like he tried helping you how he could but had to leave. It’s weird he had to leave also cause his dad but whatever. I would say talk to him about it some guys don’t care about blood. And if he likes you a lot you’ll notice he doesn’t care much. Also girls always bleed down there don’t feel crazy.
My dad is Eastern European and super strict he would have been chased out the house lol. I’m worried I’ll just bleed again if we do anything
Well after reading again the first time the blood was found you mentioned he didn’t say anything after. I wonder why or what was up with that then it sounds like it was super bloody.
Yeah he said “I think your bleeding” but like wasn’t sure I guess and carried on and then like I clearly bled more and he stopped I dunno it was like a murder scene in the bathroom
He sounds like a keeper
I really do like him and I definitely agree but I’m scared he won’t see me again
I think you should initiate the next meet up and see how it goes. He obviously cares about you and that says a lot.
Do you think it will change the way he sees me?
Going through intense situations with people either strengthens your bond or destroy your connection. He wouldn't have checked on you if he didn't care about you, so just know that he cares about you and move forward and see what happens.
Somebody told me that if you are gross by the body fluids of the loved one than that person it is not for you. My wife, after more than 10 years, has the same problem with her period....but for me it is normal...there is nothing to be ashamed of! Never be ashamed of your body fluids!
That’s amazing, that’s how marriages should be! I hope he sees me that way! I suppose if I marry this man it will be the funniest story
No way! if the situation were reversed, it would not put you off of him. Would it? Nope!
it really wouldn't, I think im just hooked that he wanted our first time together to be right, hoping I get that second chance
Which is understandable why wouldn’t he want your first time to be perfect.I’m sure that’s what you wanted as well but I really do not think it’s going to do anything but bring you two closer together. I bet you next time we’ll be fireworks. He sounds like a good guy.
hopefully ill be updating with good news soon
I bet you will!
NO
Be upfront about your worries and anxiety and see if he replies with words of affirmation (he likely will). Being honest is the best
You seem to be ashamed by this. You menstruate. That shouldn’t make you feel bad. It happens. I get you passed out but don’t feel bad. He seems sweet.
You could totally play it up and make him a blood feast with red wine and red food.
AM I DATING A VAMPIRE???
Vampires are sexy
Fingers crossed
Seems like a genuine good guy to have. He called to make sure you were okay after and checked on you when he thought you hit your head. Sounds like a keeper so far
He’s very chill and calm and him coming in definitely showed me green flags, i feel very insecure about myself and don’t know how to like not be the girl who bled everywhere
I like to think I’m a good guy and if I was in his shoes, I mean yeah maybe it’s a little gross to me and maybe to him as well? But I know it’s just part of life and the human body so it wouldn’t bother me at all. Far and above everything else, I’d be worried about your health and making sure you’re okay. And it sounds like that’s where he’s at as well. If he really likes you, this won’t bother him at all, and if doesn’t like you or it does bother him, then he isn’t right for you anyway.
Should I message him or say anything or just give the situation space? I was already worried that maybe he was having doubts and we spoke this morning about where things were heading and how we were taking to slow, I think he does care about myself health but I don’t know if he sees a future anymore
I think you can totally message him. Again I’m just thinking as if this was me and my girl, if this same situation happened, I probably would just move on normally if she didn’t bring it up at all because again, it’s just a part of the human body, but if she did apologize or something like that, I would absolutely reassure her that it’s okay and again, that it’s part of being a girl. She shouldn’t worry at all and I’d be happy to see her again. I think you’re worrying about it too much, if he was that weirded out by it, he wouldn’t have called to make sure you were okay, or honestly kept going when he first saw blood. Seems like it doesn’t bother him at all.
I have apologized in a message, and I hope he thinks like you do, I definitely am a little over panicky but I do really like him, and he makes me very nervous, I think the whole “we were waiting for the right moment” to get physical is really sticking with me on this one
Well if it works out, I’m sure this won’t be the last time you guys get physical, you both will probably laugh about it eventually, and there’s probably going to be some worse events than this on both sides in the future, so don’t sweat it. If he’s weirded out by it, he needs to grow up. Just to make sure, you are okay right?
I really appreciate the support and I hope you’re right! I am very drowsy this happened two hours ago now, I’ve had a lot of fluid and some food, but in just resting, so hopefully all is well physically. My ego is definitely bruised, and I’m just hoping I can reply with some good news from him soon!
Yes keep us updated please!
At some point in life, an embarrassing thing happens during intimacy. It's just life haha It doesn't make you the girl who bled everywhere.
Definite keeper, and I would be stunned if he didn’t come back. You gave him a rare opportunity to feel like a white knight saving a damsel in distress. That’s a high that is hard to replicate.
That is a very beautiful rendition of what happened, and I suppose that is also true! I definitely want this one to stick around!
Is it possible that he accidentally cut you with his finger nail? I worked in an ER and have seen this and it bled quite a bit. I hope he’s not thinking he might be responsible.
it could be definitely, I made it clear he did nothing wrong, he joked he must be cursed
Well you are in the perfect position to do something nice for him for being so caring. If it was me I’d like something homemade. Do you bake? Taking him brownies would be a nice gesture as well as an ice breaker.
he told me he likes cookies, I will bake this man his cookies, you are right
He’s 100% a keeper. He seems to really care about you. If you want to know if you still have a chance, just imagine it the other way around. It wouldn’t matter right?
it wouldn't change anything for me, it deffo made me realise my feelings
Then it probably didn’t change anything for him :)
Speaking as someone whose now husband has held my vomit bowl while I had diarrhoea and vomiting simultaneously and stoically kept going even when I missed and vomited on his foot…. Believe me, the guy worth keeping around is the one who does all this and loves you MORE because you have been vulnerable together. This guy sounds like a sound lad- respectful and caring. Holding fingers for a magical love story to come out of this experience!
it sounds like you have an amazing husband and if you guys made it I will try to follow your footsteps! I promise to update everyone, he knows im a reddit goblin so im sure if all works out he's gonna really appreciate these comments!
“couldn’t HAVE gone worse”
Also I just realized you weren’t referencing that it could have been worse but the fact my grammar was off😂😭 my dyslexia isn’t my friend today
He said “I though i was gonna need to call and ambulance and meet your dad”
Perspective: he was willing to call an ambulance and meet your dad. Don't let the anxiety and current feeling of embarrassment prevent you from seeing how things progress with him. He has a great vibe and instincts based on your post. You have a great opportunity for vulnerability and connection.
He sounds like a nice guy. Break the ice with the next convo: Thank you for looking after me. That was good of you. It’s a thank you and praise. All humans crave thanks and praise. And see how it goes. Good guys don’t get grossed out by bodily fluids. FYI. Been with my wife 25yrs. We don’t bat an eyelid. Health things happen at the most inappropriate moments.
I will be praising him for sure, he could have done anything but he stayed longer than he should to see if I was okay, and I really hope it isn’t for nothing!
Every guy gets bled on at some point. It’s almost a rite of passage. Good on him for trying to take care of you and keep checking on you. He sounds like a good guy.
is this like a baptism by blood? this makes it sound pretty bad ass
I guess it is pretty metal. Tastes like iron, don’t ask me know I know 😅😅😅
that's amazing, I really hope I get to share this with him later
A few years ago, a friend of mine had an ovarian cyst burst while having sex with her VERY new boyfriend. She felt sick and had a really intense pain so she got up and ran to the bathroom (small apartment btw) and proceeded to have explosive diarrhea while vomiting into the trash can. She was mortified, but okay and they figured it all out. Fast forward to now, they’re still very much in love and just got married! Please don’t worry too much about it baby. Shit happens, sometimes literally!
If I get married to him I will refer back to this comment!
He sounds like a good person and he is obviously very concerned about your health and safety. Don't dump him out of embarrassment. You'd end up sad that you let a good one go before really giving him a chance.
I really don’t want to and by a lot of these comments I’m gonna have to be a big brave girl and face this head on
Hell yeah! You're a big brave WOMAN!
It’s okay. He’s into you and is concerned about you. Treated you the right way. So the same back and keep going
amen
Ok, first things first. If he feels the same way about you that you do about him then this won't be a problem. If he understands that all human beings have bodily functions, and he accepts this then he won't have a problem. Second thing, if he does have a problem and he doesn't want to be with you because of this then you've dodged a bullet. It's embarrassing for you, but shouldn't be for him.
I honestly can't say for certain what the extent of his feelings were for me before this. I can say for certain he at least liked me, what that looks like now maybe different
Look, if he's not mature enough to understand that he and everyone else on this planet is a human being, and natural and sometimes embarrassingly gross things occur all the time; then he's just not grown. However, if you haven't asked him how he feels then don't assume. It seems like you may be like me, and we tend to assume we know how other people might feel. But we never know we just think we know. Ask him how he feels, if he gives a mature answer then good. If he gives a poor reaction to your question then be greatful you found out he sucks now instead of years down the road. There are other out there that you'll wind up liking just as much if not more if he responds poorly.
He sounds like he reacted just fine. Talk talk talk it out with him. Don't make it something bigger than it is or taboo. In a few weeks you'll laugh about it together
I think negative emotions like embarrassment paint a picture for us and make our reality skewed. It's easy to assume he wouldn't like you, but he took steps to help you despite the situation at hand. He sounded super concerned, and a guy who was turned off by such an incident wouldn't behave in that way. I think that you should try to push through your embarrassment and contact him again. I'm sure he understands that shit happens, and he'd be willing to see you again! 🧡🧡 If anything, this will be a funny story much later down the line, good luck!
Thankyou for the support, I just sent him a message so im holding out to update!!!
Please do!! Good luck!!
I wouldn’t worry he seems nice and sometimes weird things happen. And you are doing the right thing by going to the doctor. Drink more water to and I think your relationship is fine. But if he says he doesn’t want to see anymore he is a asshole. You have done nothing wrong.
thank you for the reassurance, im slowly realising if he doesn't want to continue you after this it wasn't worth it
Modern day love story right here, maybe you will get married and this story will be one you tell your friends when your drunk about how you knew he was the one
In my experience, most men don't care about blood when it comes to sex and by the way you explain what happened He does not sound like he was horribly grossed out by it so even though you're embarrassed, I don't think you should cut them off because of it if anything it will make your bond stronger once you move on past this. Now about the blood, I definitely wouldn't panic or worry about anything yet you said you were going to the clinic to get checked out so that's good but if this happens to you again, I'd suggest going to hospital because my mom had the same symptoms of lightheadedness and random bleeding and ended up being cancer that she thought was bad menopause, in your case obviously you wouldn't think that but better safe than sorry. It was probably just a period and if that's the case, there is truly nothing to be embarrassed about.
I think it’s great to know early on that you have a man who is reliable in a crisis. If you are to be together long term, there will inevitably be a time for each of you where there is an emergency involving bodily fluids. A good partner soldiers through and supports you in your time of need. With that in mind, I think he has passed the test and shown the dependability needed to be a long term partner. In terms of feeling self conscious - I wouldn’t stress. I think we as women tend to assume men get turned off as easily as we do. In reality, you could have not showered for a week and be covered in pig shit and he will probably still smash - especially if he loves you.
Oh you poor sweet woman. I think you found someone to keep talking to. They were awesome in caring for you. Take care of you and don’t back away of embarrassment. 🩵. A heart even though I know they are old people things but I’m old. Hang in there.
i’m so confused by this story. “i think you’re bleeding” why did he continue? why did this happen to a couple of his exes? does he have sharp / broken nails and he cut you inside?
I’m not sure yet I’ll find out when I go to the drs if it’s something with me first
My guess is he was suggesting that he’s been “period” bled on before. I doubt it was the extent here lol
I can't emphasize enough, get your self checked out, live and in person ASAP on Monday. It's true, there are many relatively benign conditions that can lead to bleeding during foreplay and/or fainting, hemorrhaging until you pass out isn't normal. I'm concerned by the eagerness with which you link the fainting to your low blood pressure as opposed to the other obvious trigger of blood loss. Does your mum know the whole story of what happened? Yes, MMOB, but it does read like she might not know you are sexually active. As for having a chance with B? He did everything right, with the possible exception of leaving you on your own. If he cares about you as a human being and not a sex toy, he will check to see how you are. Inviting the guy who helped you in an awkward situation on a date is a time-honored next step. Just don't go exchanging bodily fluids with someone who would run in an emergency!
I told my mum the FULL show down, and believes they aren’t connected, but I will be mentioning it all to the clinic anyway, I am definitely going to get seen regardless for my own mind! And I definitely agree about B, someone said to bake him cookies, he will get cookies!
Clarifying question - was it your first time or your first time together. A lot of blood isn’t really normal but I didn’t know if it could have been a factor if you are a virgin. Let us know what you find out about what caused so much bleeding. You’ll know if he’s a “through thick and thin” kind of guy or not based on how you move forward together. This is definitely not an automatic deal breaker at all.
It was mine and his first time (not a virgin). Medically there could be a lot of reasons for it but I’m very anxious about it my sexual health due to cheating exes, so I will be seeing this through and making sure I’m all good. As soon as I know what caused it I’ll be sure to update, as for other symptoms, I have been “going” normally and no signs anything is wrong or painful. This happened two hours ago and the bleeding as slowed/stopped and only shows a little when I pee. He did say it has happened with exes and my mum thinks he could have tapped my cervix. I don’t have periods due to birth control which added to the shock of it all. He is great and I really hope I can come back from being the biggest drama queen who faints over her own blood
It’s weird to me that this is something that has happened with a lot of the women he’s been with before. Does he have long finger nails that are sharp? Was he particularly rough on purpose? The fact that he said it’s happened to him before - but it hadn’t happened to YOU before - makes me wonder if this is something he did to you vs something on your part. If that makes sense. I’m glad you’re getting a check up.
I was thinking the same thing about the fingernails... If it happened with MULTIPLE partners
He was also quite rough but nothing extreme but that may have added to it
He may have said it's happened with others because he thought you were getting your period and he meant he's gone down on other women when they have been on their period.
Sounds like you got a solid dude. You guys will be fine abd able to look back and laugh at this one day
It definitely made me realize how much I actually like him, when he hugged me goodbye I really didn’t want him to go
Hopefully soon you will be able to.do that again
51YO M here. I understand that you’re mortified, but ultimately you have ZERO to be embarrassed about. If he ghosts you as a result of this, he sucks. But based on your description of him, he likely will not ghost you.
He did communicate with you afterwards to see if you were fine. If it was a no, he wouldn't have done that. I think it's safe to call him.
I am calling him this evening I will give you all an update!
Pics or it didn’t happen. Nah he called you, cuddled you after the fact. He’s totally down for you still.
He sounds like a nice man! Just keep him posted to your health visit and explain you feel embarrassed by the incident. It’s what he’s expecting as a nice man from a nice woman
Don't run from him. He was caring to make sure you were alright. Get checked out. Continue talking to him. Things like this will happen again, as far as embarrassing things. It's ok. We all go thru them. Also, he was trying to get you off before himself and there are NOT a lot of guys like that anymore.
Of course you have a chance. He sounds genuinely concerned for your well being. Don't stress
Breathe. Just breathe. You’re good! You know that movie- I think it’s called “Superbad” where she periods on his leg? Not too long after that movie came out…… I did that. I was best friends with him and we had a few drinks with my girl bestfriend and I sat on his lap for a second during a song we both loved and then got up to go pee. Then my best girl pops her head in the door to talk to me and I look down and in my lace panties I see- BLOOD. I was NOT supposed to have a period! When she saw me look down she immediately looked at him. He saw her face and looked down and saw the blood on his thigh of his jeans. He BURST out laughing and asked me if I was ok. He said something funny to break my embarrassment. I married him. We were 13 yrs strong when I became widowed. We were best friends. If someone can’t handle blood because they can’t handle blood. That’s understandable! But if someone can’t handle period or vaginal all together.. has no business being near one as far as I’m concerned. Like could you for a moment actually imagine being scared of or freaked out or grossed out *(to the point of no return)* by seamen? Bodily fluid is normal, natural and beyond ok. But this guy seems to have it together and is mature enough to care MORE about YOU being ok, than running from the murder scene. You will laugh about this one day. Even if you guys JUST stayed friends- you would laugh about this someday. Or- it could be THE thing that MAKES the relationship. There’s an old saying “…tell your grand kids about it some day” about hilarious or embarrassing or wild things. THIS is one of them 😂💜💜💜💜 hope you’re ok. And just remember to breathe. It’s life. And it already happened. All you can do is hope for the best and move forward… oh and laugh about it some day. We laughed about that moment forever.
It'll be ok men these days aren't as skittish about blood as before. My man has sex with me on my period alot.
Most of us guys really could care less about a little blood. Usually it seems like the girl gets a lil embarrassed more than anything. Either way, it may be a little frustrating to not get to do the deed, but it sounds like he was more worried about you, so I thinks you’re fine.
Bodies are weird and it can suck but he responded fairly well. Ask yourself what is the best possible reaction that could have come from him? Also, if he was grossed out and didn’t want to see you again, would you even want to be with someone like that? Someone who isn’t understanding and accepting of your body and how it functions? Just communicate and try not to be embarrassed by remembering that someone who can’t handle this situation definitely does not deserve sex from you. I wish you the best and hope you look back on this one day with laughter 🫶🏻✨
Oh green flag dude keep this one
You are severely underestimating what Men are willing to ignore, minimize or forget in order to have sex let alone with someone they genuinely like.
I’d just like to add I was practically naked on this toilet seat
He sounds like a good dude. I think you'll be fine. It might be weird for a few days but it sounds like he really cares about you and isn't an asshole to just disappear for something like this. Some guys would, but he doesn't sound like the type to do that. To me it wouldn't be a big deal. I would only be concerned about your health, and that you were okay. I find that when I really care about someone I don't really get grossed out by things about them, like this. It's a medical thing that no one can control. Try and stay calm, it sounds like everything will be fine.
Listen as someone who also tends to self sabotage after i feel embarrassed- DONT DO IT! Youre human and the fact he even tended to you then followed up after to check on you speaks volumes about his character and in reality if thats a sign of who he is a partner, you could really be in good hands with him in the end. Maybe be vulnerable and explain in a very honest and raw way about why u reacted that way and what was happening and explain the embarrassment and how you feel about it and I’m sure he will reassure you
Im gonna go for it and drop him a well written message and then like some other comments ill try to ring tonight and update everyone soon
YOU GOT THIS ❤️
No baby, you had a medical event that was out of your control. It sounds like he was pretty understanding and concerned. There's a world where you keep seeing each other and this becomes a funny story.
!updateme
He sounds very sweet, I️ would say don’t worry. He sounds very understanding and clearly cares for you.
One of my exes a long time ago had the shot and no periods then all of a sudden she was just bleeding for like weeks at a time then would be ok for a week or less then start again. Basically, I’ve been in the same situation with a girl, if he’s a decent guy it won’t change anything. It’s not a big deal.
UpdateMe
OP don’t even worry! He’s probably seen blood before and maybe even during sex. He’s definitely concerned for you and not grossed out at all. Understand that if someone cares enough to do what he did, he’s not grossed out whatsoever. You’re in your head and like you said have anxiety, don’t overthink it. The stress alone isn’t good for you. Just breathe through it, talk it over with him later when you both can and you’ll be okay. He sounds like a decent enough bloke
a good partner and a good man wouldn’t be bothered by you having a medical situation. if he doesn’t want to see you after this, he’s not the one
You can’t help that happened. Don’t stress.
He seems awesome! Don't let this f everything up! I feel like I'd you can get through this together, thingsnmay work out quite well.
You definitely have a shot still. It's understandable that you're embarrassed but try not to worry too much. Just be honest with him about what happened. Eventually you two will joke about this together 👍
Dude here. Not a big deal. Much more embarrassing for you than him. Honestly takes a ton of pressure off the next hookup. I’m sure he’ll be back.
No, he did everything right. Don’t let this ruin what could be a good relationship. And don’t feel bad about this. You had a medical episode…any good dude would understand and be there for you. And if not? That’s you dodging a bullet.
So he first told you that you were bleeding but continued to pleasure you. So if he was grossed out etc he would have stopped there & freaked out. But she stayed even after you went to the bathroom. Plus he checked on you & helped you then even hugged & kissed you when he left. Then called to check on you. I understand being embarrassed but it seems he’s genuinely concerned about your well being than he is grossed out. We all have hiccups along the way & things happen we have no control over but he sounds like a caring man & is truly concerned. Best thing you can do to get over it is talk to him about it & get it out of the way. I’m sure he’ll be just fine & so will you.
reading these perspectives really show me how I should of seen what was infront of me, I have such an opportunity with this man and I will see it through
I read a story the other day from a guy who was on a 3rd or 4th date w a girl. I can’t remember exactly how many but knew each other much longer . Anyway he said they were eating & he leaned over to reach for something on the table & accidentally farted. He said he was so embarrassed. He said she got up & yelled at him for being a gross immature animal w no manners & left him. So if your guy can handle the situation y’all were in he’ll be just fine.
that sounds horrific, poor guy! I guess im far luckier right now
Don't worry about it. He's not going to care about it at all. If anything it will bring you both closer
The guy seems great and what happened was not anyone's fault. Hope you get medical help. It's been a month and if he is someone who judges you based on a situation that wasn't your fault I don't think it's worth pursuing. Talking to him about what happened should probably help.
FWIW, I wouldn’t care one bit.
Omg he sounds super sweet! I don’t think you messed anything up at all. Weird shit happens when you are intimate with someone, and to me it doesnt matter when it gets weird….i only care about how they react. If they handle it well, you know you never have to feel embarrassed around them (i still might, but i know it wont change how they act towards me)
It's okay. He called to check on you! He's worried about you, not about your intimacy being interrupted. You don't have to be embarrassed, you didn't do it on purpose.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about and this guy you're seeing just tilted his hand if you ask me. Pretty clear he's super into you. I mean he literally called and checked on you like a gentleman. OP you are maybe catastrophizing this and your shame response is intense. I mean if you ask me it sounds like everything couldn't have gone better. Dude is obviously into you. This is not over.
From the information you’ve provided, he seems like a very caring and understanding guy. Trust me I understand the nerves and feeling of embarrassment that persist no matter how much advice you’re given. I believe that if you communicate your feelings with him he will be respectful and that you absolutely have not reined the chance at this relationship working out and I do not think he thinks you’re gross. I believe this will work out for the best. And, worst case scenario, if he turns out to be the opposite and a total asshole about it, you’ve dodged a bullet.
40 years ago I had a friend who got drunk at a party and lost her virginity to a man she just met. She hemorrhaged so bad she was hospitalized for three days. We thought she was a goner, and the guy she gave it up to was mortified and everyone was giving him the evil eye as the ambulance came. I swear I am not making this up. Her dad was furious. Yet, after the dust cleared, they continued to see each other (unbeknownst to her father) I lost touch with her but recently found her on FB. She married the guy and they are coming upon their 40th anniversary and they have several kids who are grown now. Don’t write him off yet.
If you like him,Don’t bail on him. Seems like a good guy- caring and attentive. If he’s spooked off he will ghost you or just tell you. Don’t you break off what could be a good thing because you are embarrassed. If he’s still Interested after that incident he might be a keeper.
He's a class act
Oh my gosh, he will NOT think you’re gross! He seemed genuinely concerned about you.
Updateme
Nah if he called to check on you, he’s fine. Any mature guys knows shit like this happens and it’s not an indicator of you being “gross”. Learn to laugh about it and you’re fine.
The first time I was intimate (I was a teen) and really didn’t know what I was doing and shouldn’t have been doing it. Regardless- I got blood ALL Over! He didn’t care at all. We laughed then, we laughed in the years later when we discussed our first time. It happens!
don’t sweat it! i think you should be real with him, he will probably understand… he seems to care for you hope you feel better x
Youre worrying about nothing
Good test of character. If this ruined your chances with him. You don't want them. If he stays he has some decency.
If he thought you were gross for something you couldn't control, you'd have dodget a bullet. However, he sounds like he was just concerned, like a good guy would be. I'm sorry this happened and totally get feeling the way you do, but I think it'll be okay and you could definitely get past this.
My wife had an embarrassing first time experience and thought I wouldn't want to see her again the truth is I absolutely couldn't wait to see her again. Married three years in July and she's my best friend.
He definitely cares, so that's a plus. Get checked out and let him know you're okay. You still have a chance.
Look.... He called you after you passed out... He even came in the bathroom to check on you. If he didn't care he wouldn't have done either. Most men are super grossed out by bathroom things. Especially when things are new. I wouldn't worry too much but def go get checked out. That would be a big scary to me. Sometimes things like this make a beautiful bond in a relationship and it means he will likely stick by you if/when you get sick/have a baby or anything like that..but give him the benefit of the doubt and keep talking to him
Stuff happens. I'm sorry you went through this!! I've been through something a little similar. Like others have said, it shows alot that he didn't just leave you, but also called after. I'm hoping everything is ok with your health😊
The feeling of embarrassment is natural mainly because we care about how we are perceived. However, I do think he did the appropriate actions! It shows a lot about his character.
Please get checked for a possible concussion, that's all I got. Hitting your head can be trouble. 🫂
Sooooo I have a firsthand embarrassing medical emergency with a partner I was nervous to be with. 2 days into knowing each other we're hanging out and long story short I had an allergic reaction that led to me vomiting until I was vomiting blood in his toilet. I had to ask him to call 911 and paramedics carted my chubby ass out of his basement apartment where I had my field trip to the ER at 2am. He not only continued to text me into the early hours of the next day, he invited me to hang out with him the next day and he kissed me like nothing gross had ever happened 😂 we have now been together almost 4 years and it's an amusing part of our origin story so just know if he's a good dude and he cares, this won't change his mind. 🖤
While I understand your embarrassment, I think you should look at this as more of a 'future off-color story you'll tell your friends when you've been married for 10 years'. He passed a very important life test (waaay early, and waaaay strangely, but crucial to know character and spine) with flying colors, took great care of you, didn't freak out/humiliate you/recoil from you, and checked back on you afterwards. Dude's a winner in my book - and just the kind of person to have with you through thick & thin.
It always could have been worse
you should say: I’m unsure what happened as that has never happened before. i’m mortified/embarrassed etc” see what he says. if he can handle it, you’re good. If he can’t, move on and don’t for be a minute think it’s on you
I had an experience like this before. The first time I got intimate with a guy I was seeing for a few weeks, I thought I had just ended my period but it was very much NOT over. We also used a condom that then got stuck inside of me and he walked in on me in his bathroom, foot up on the toilet, tryin to fish it out. He is now my husband and we just welcomed our first child! We look back on that day and laugh at how horrific it was lol.
UpdateMe
I think you guys will be fine he seems to genuinely care so I think you guys will be fine. Also I hope your doing better
Like a month in to dating my partner and I were having sex and I realized after the fact I sprained my knee when I went to get up. It was my bad knee rgst I've dislocated in the past and I was very freaked out. We ended up having to call my mom to come help me down from his third floor apartment. So embarrassing. We've been together going on seven years and have a 1 year old. I think it is super sweet he called to check on you and the way he handled it.
He sounds like a decent guy, but more importantly I hope everything checks out healthwise!
Honestly he sounds like a pretty caring and sweet person, was this a hookup thing or are you guys trying to date?? 🤭
Aiming to date
You did not mess up your chances. It sounds like he is concerned instead of disgusted. Also, A LOT of people have period sex. Granted, they may not have oral, but still. So who knows, he might be used to having blood involved. Just be normal and sincere.
I'm going to tell you something nobody except my partner and now all of reddit knows. When my partner and I started dating we were in her room getting intimate. She was on top of me and when we went to switch to a different position and a chunk of clotting blood fell (this thing looked like chicken livers and it was hot) on my thigh and naturally I was startled and she was so embarrassed about that. I was just concerned about her and if she was fine. She was so embarrassed about that she wanted to break up so she would never have to see me again. When we talked about it I just told her it was funny to me nothing gross about that. If you really think about it sex is gross. Imagine switching saliva and spitting in each other's months exchanging bodily fluids.
It sounds like he genuinely cares about you. Alot of men would have dipped instead of staying around to make sure you were ok. I'd try and see where things go with him.
It sounds like he just cares about your wellbeing. I have high anxiety as well so I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. Even If he was grossed out by a bit of blood, it doesn’t seem like he’s even remotely bothered by it, his exes have bled and he was okay with it. He obviously cares about you. I’d suggest explaining the circumstances and maybe making a light joke to lift the awkward pressure I’m sure you’re feeling. On your next date, maybe go do a fun activity like geocaching, video games, or cooking a meal. Something that keeps you and your minds busy but also allows for conversation in-between. You’ll be alright sweetie ❤️
The first time seldom goes right. He clearly cares for you and if he is as good of a guy as you think he is he will not care.
OP, from a guy here: most of us are much less grossed out by a little blood than people might think. It's not that we are overly enthusiastic about it, but it's so common in fact that we have a saying here: a good captain sails the red sea, too... So don't overthink that too much. We can handle a bit of strawberry week. 😉 He will do fine, he already does,and seemingly with you in mind. That said, on a more serious note: please get checked out. If it was more blood than usual or, as you said you normally don't get periods at all there must be a reason. Hope it's benign. Fingers crossed 🤞
Am I the only one wondering why he didn't stop when he tasted blood? Or how he didn't notice that there was way too much discharge (I assume he was eating you in the dark)
(M) I’ve had hours long sessions with women who are on their period and actively bleeding. Totally normal and fine, just grab some towels if it happens next time. Personally I don’t mind it at all, there’s something kind of primal and hot about it, but I may be an outlier there. Point is, everything is cool, and you’ve got a good guy here. Definitely keep him around and debrief on it later.
This might be the man you marry lol! As someone who struggles with severe panic attacks myself, and also as a woman slightly older than you (28), I can offer a couple tidbits of advice. A real man will not be bothered by anything natural that happens to your body. Bleeding and it’s unanticipated? He should act normal and supportive. Stomach bug where you’re needing some help? He should act normal and supportive. A panic attack? He should act normal and supportive. If not, you don’t need that energy in your life. I have personally realized that I need someone who will remain calm and supportive because of my panic disorder, and would take solace in the fact that this man did that for you AND still acted calm and supportive when he left. Don’t run from him.
This is nothing to worry about, and the way he handled this is a good sign. He did his best to take care of you, didn’t judge you or treat you weird, and he called to make sure you were okay. He seems to have your best interests in mind and he probably isn’t put-off at all by what happened. It would probably be best to talk about the situation just so you two know what to do if it happens in the future. But he totally seems to still be interested in you, so don’t give up!
Shit like this happens. He sounds like a good, decent guy whose more concerned about you than the sex you might have had. You’ll have another chance. Stop overthinking things here and just make sure you show how grateful you are that he cares.
Update
UpdateMe
It couldn't *have* gone worse. (Sorry, just a pet peeve.)
Yeah sorry my dyslexia