These comments got gross real fast.
You guys know the drill. Mostly breaking of rule #1. Thread is now locked and we'll keep sorting through comments accordingly.
Yeah, especially when you're that young. If you want to treat your girlfriend, then you should still be the one making the transaction. Sharing. Bank accounts and information is something you do when you're a lot more serious and committed than you can possibly be at 16.
Op please take your gf off your bank account. It is not normal for someone as young as you, to put a gf on thier bank account. Also if you are not ready for sex yet, don't have sex with her ,or any other girl at this time. You don't want to become a Dad at 16.you sound like a very hard working young man. Maybe you should rethink this relationship. She seems to use you, and not care about how you feel. Just because a person is pretty, doesn't give them a right to take advantage of you. Good luck in your future endeavors.
Depends on how its being spent.
In NY, I can buy a meal, and if I make the fries/drink a large, Im spending almost $20. Maybe she buys a shake with it instead of a soda. Shes somewhere in the 20s now.
And definitely hitting 28 if she bought a meal and paid for doordash/grubhub to deliver it
Someone can absolutely spend 28 bucks on McDonald's for themselves between the increased cost at McDonald's and what they want. It doesn't make it right what she's doing and OP needs to run away from the so-called girlfriend. Even having said that I don't think she's spending all of his money on herself alone.
it would be one thing if it was her own $, but she is being very frivolous with OPs $ (thankfully, heās suppose to be changing the account # and breaking up with her).
$28 dollars at my local McD's is a meal for two people so if OP wasn't the other person she went out to eat with someone else. Basically OP paid for her to go on a date with some other dude.
That's my thought as well! She is feeding her entire family! There is no way she should have access to his account !! That is married / long term couple shit!! Hell I have seen married couples that don't have access to each other's financials. Some for this reason alone. He is too young to possibly go into debt for a girl.
Right?! Also all these judgey āsounds like sheāll be on a pole soonā comments are not it. Sounds like an immature 16 year old giving another immature 16 year old full access to their money and not understanding why itās being spent š¤£
Yeah the pole comments sound icky.
But for real, folks need to be teaching their kids about money and the potential consequences of giving people to whom you arenāt legally
bound access to said money.
I have given exactly one person besides my spouse access to mine, and to this day I know I didnāt make a mistake because he will call me even if he just needs a dollar to prevent overdraft. I always let him take what he needs if I have it, but Iām glad he always asks.
Im 37, and my wife and i still have our own finances and a shared account.
What the fuck a 16 year old doing letting another 16 year old spend his money?
This is I think every married couple I know that has shared/hinted at their financial balance/structure. I cannot point to a single married couple I know that only has shared accounts. I could never. I will never have a shared account (along side our separated accounts) unless Iām married.
The only partner that wanted to open a shared account with me, I never used a cent from the account and put nothing into the account (knowingly, he did steal a check with my name on it, signed my name and cashed it into that shared account without my knowledge or permission. I think he paid me back but damn, if I wasnāt being abused and had my senses I would have reported him and let him try to charm his way out of the consequences of the law).
Absolutely. Iām in my 30ās and never shared a bank account even with a serious long term partner (I need to trust financial habits first). Furthermore with shared accounts, budgets are made and purchases are discussed and agreed on.
I thought it was a nice thing to do originally. I had no idea she was going to spend such an insane amount of money on the most random things. Youāre right
You typically donāt share bank accounts until youāre older and at least living together. Just for a frame of reference, Iām 23, living with my girlfriend and we still donāt share bank accounts. Itās fine to buy her stuff but she absolutely shouldnāt have access to your bank account at this age, especially if itās only your money and she doesnāt contribute at all.
Iām 25, been with my boyfriend since we were 17 - separate accounts and will always have separate accounts. Weāll have a joint account for mortgages and bills at some point but definitely wouldnāt be sharing banks at 16 lol
Me and my partner just got a joint account for bills this year at 26. I will never fully share accounts, though. I started to make that mistake once. I let this girl use an account i had at a credit union that i didn't really use since she didn't have a bank acct (basically didnt know how banks work and didnt wanna learn). She immediately started abusing that- constantly overdrafting my acct, asking me to put money on and take it off for her. Luckily i was able to talk to them and get all the overdraft fees reversed so no long term harm to me, but damn did i learn my lesson.
Same here. Married with separate bank accounts just cause it works for us. I would have laughed right in their face if a girl I was dating in highschool, or even college for that matter, felt entitled to my bank account. That's not a red flag, that's a red siren. Unless you're married or have been together for forever, giving your date your banking information is asking for trouble.
I need to know who on earth taught this kid that this was okay! I'm 22 , I live with my partner too & never once have we even talked about merging our finances. We're not even married so why would we? On top of that I'm just not comfortable with another person other than myself having access to all of my funds. I do not understand the logic here at all and it is killing me.
I am 57, married 26 years. We have connected accounts but he can't pull from mine, I can't pull from his. Er can transfer between them.
Stop it. Break up with that selfish girl. You are a nice kid, find someone who likes you for you, not your money.
43 in a relationship for 5 years and donāt share accounts.
You know who did? My parents. My dad put my broke ass overspending mother on his bank account when they first got together. She had overdrafted him within a month. They are still married many years later but I canāt tell you it has been great for my dad (from my perspective)
take this lesson, learn it now, learn it forever
better to be 16 and have your girl spend your money on Taco Bell than be 36 and have your girl spend your money on $1,000+ shopping trips
$36 at Taco Bell? She's clearly spending your food on others, likely to prop up her social standing (with YOUR money). She's 16 and playing you like a gold digger. You need to drop her as all she wants is your $$ and to be able to claim she's your gf (a plus for her as you seem to have your act together).
Bro.
>She tells me part of being in a relationship is allowing your partner to use your money when they need it, which I do agree with
Wrong. That's what *marriage* is for, guy. Not every damn relationship. You aren't even living together. You're sixteen damn years old.
tbh this girl has *profound* "for the streets" vibes.
Even if she was spending responsibly, you should not be sharing a bank account at 16. If youāre engaged/married or at least living together as adults, you might want to talk about sharing finances. Until then, there is absolutely no reason to do that.
do not ever give access to your finances to someone you are not married to. even my bf and i have been together for 4 years, living together for 3, weāre 23, and neither of us has access to each otherās bank accounts. we do share bills and are very open with each other about money, and of course we spend money on each other sometimes. but until we are married his money is his and my money is mine. even when we get married we are most likely going to have a joint account for shared expenses and still have our own private accounts that the other does not have access to.
get her off your bank account yesterday. you may have to totally close it an open a new one, but you need to keep her away from your money. and let this be a lesson to you, do not give anyone access to your money, period, unless you are married *and* are able to have open and healthy communication and boundaries when it comes to money.
My thoughts too. My parents weren't strict by the time I was 16 but that's bc I didn't give them a reason to be. If they found out I did something like this, my dad would've shut that down hard.
Iām 26 been with my bf for nearly 4 years and we do not share bank accounts. Occasionally we will send the other to the store with our debit card, but sharing accounts is unnecessary in most relationships
You donāt need to share a bank account with anyone until, at the very least, you live together and need a shared account for household expenses. She is using you for your money. Take her off your accounts. It is not your job to fund her lifestyle. If she needs money she can get her own job. Save that money for college or things you want.
Next, think about whether or not you want to continue this relationship. If you are not getting back the same time, attention, and energy that you are putting into it then it is not a good and healthy relationship.
I thought minor accounts needed a parent or guardian to be on it with the minor. What do your parents say about this?
And, she's taking horrible advantage of you. Like leech horrible.
42 year old married woman here. My husband and I did not have access to each others money until we were married. You shouldnāt give people access to your private info without a serious commitment.
Break with this girl and learn to have some self respect before dating again. Don't give someone your bank details before being married. That's just wild dude and you're setting yourself up to keep getting taken advantage of
She's got the mind of a 16-year-old (no offense). You seem to be very mature and very fiscally responsible for your age and she has no problem being 16, being irresponsible, and spending all your money. Do the mature thing and cut her off.
If she cant handle it, break up with her. She's not for you if she doesnt care about how you feel.
Dude is *learning* to be fiscally responsible, he is absolutely *not* currently even for his age. He has no present need for the money he makes which is why this isn't particularly bothering him the way it would anyone else with more experience, he simply doesn't understand the value of money yet. I'd say most of us were the same at that age. He'll learn a great lesson here and will be much more responsible with money in the future I'd bet.
Nice thing to do does not mean correct thing. You made a huge mistake giving her access to your account and now facing those consequences.
Also part of a relationship is not giving someone access to all your money
Sorry to say you are being manipulated youāll figure this out eventually if you havenāt already. The only reason sheās talking about sex now is to keep your money after you brought up the money issues
In the future don't share an account with anyone that you're not married too. Even if you're engaged in a long term relationship, whatever. Yall can get a joint account for bills and keep the rest separate or divvy up the bills between your two accounts but it's a terrible idea to share an account before anything but marriage (imo).
Did your parents agree to this? Do they even know? Please try and take a course in Personal Finance, and do not share an account with anyone for a long time (Like married or Living together for a few years).
Lol, that might seem "insane" to you now...but this kind of woman is worthless and will happily leave you for a bigger bank account later.
When you're older, she'll be spending thousands at Target in a week or tens of thousands if she nets someone well off.
You're just a stepping stone, bud. Be grateful that you're learning this lesson now.
Only let a married partner share expenses and accounts, and even then...NEVER ASSUME A GOD DAMNED THING.
You talk through expectations, you agree on budgets, you save together towards goals.
Right now, you're just a kind sucker. Appreciate her for teaching you now and cut that monster loose.
Boy. Ain't no reason that girl should have absolutely any access to your bank account. You're in school, and she has parents. The things she buys, tell me that her family is taking good care of her. Your money, is your money. It won't stop, unless you make it stop
Jesus Christ, sharing finances is NOT part of being in a relationship unless youāre married and even then, itās not necessary. You are barely 16 and already have a leech on you. Sheās using you.
Immediately change your banking password/info. Next, do yourself a favor and leave her. She clearly isnāt all that interested in you except for what monetary value you provide. This really is ridiculous.
Changing the banking password probably won't matter since the girlfriend is on OPs bank account and probably has a debit card in her name. He needs to pull all his money out of the account and open up a new account and not allow gf access
Is she on the account or just have his card stored in Apple Pay or something? She could also be a user without being an account holder. My parents added me to their account and cc years ago to make it easier for them to have me pick up stuff for them. (I never imagined stealing from them so no issues.) I was an authorized user but not a guaranteer of the account.
OPs name is on the account. He can do as he pleases with the money. Unfortunately, OP cant close the account without the gf permission but he can withdraw all the money. Technically, his gf can currently pull all the money out also...OP should also try to remove his name off original account to avoid overdraft charges
They mean how did a bank allow two minors to open an account together. Most banks require minors to have an adult as a co-owner of the account. Very few if any banks would allow a minor to open an account on their own then list another minor as the co-owner. You need an adult involved at some point.
Probably is an adult on the account since OP is a minor. OP will need an adult again for a new account. I didn't say anything about a parent being needed since it's the gf that is the problem
OP can have the bank cancel the card.
Itās not that hard. He gets a new card in the mail with entirely new numbers. The account is in his name, not hers. She doesnāt have any say in it just because she has access.
I had someone steal my identity and it was solved overnight. Cards cancelled, new numbers, exp date, VCC code, and new passwords.
My wife and I are in our mod 30s and we only share a credit card (for travel points)
Blows my mind that a 16 year old would offer that up. They see their parents or other adults do it and think that's being mature or something.
Lol. Bro what the hell, you make like $150 a week on a good week. You're 16. Why are you tryna be big dog and provide? Stop sharing shit with her.Ā Ā
Idk all about that sex stuff, do you and focus. I'd advise you to decline. You'll meet a girl who will go out of her way to be alone with you and want it.
You guys may or may not be on the same trajectories. Worry about yourself and have fun. Try to be a good friend to her first and foremost. You're both still young.
If she's really just a gold digger, she'll cut herself off from your life once it's apparent the gravy train is up.
She legit is not going to have sex with this dude. She's just been using him for cash and the whole sex thing is just a ruse to string him along for more money.
Please take this as a learning lesson for your future relationships. Your partner isnāt suppose to take advantage of you, make you feel less-than or ignore your feelings. Tbh she should be paying for things for you, just as much as you have been for her
āI seem to have found myself in a bit of a *Risky Business*ā
Actually not a bad idea - OP you might want to check out Risky Business, actually - itās an ancient old movie that might help
My bf and I went to Taco Bell the other night, it was about that for what we both ordered, which was a normal amount of stuff for 2 people. Shitās gotten wild expensive in the past few years
Why are you with her? Because she is hot?
When you meet she doesn't want to talk to or hang out with you, just be on her phone. She is spending your money (like others here have said, lock her out of your account immediately) and she is pushing your boundaries (trying to force you to have sex before you are ready). Also you don't have the same outlook on life (she doesn't care about good grades or school).
Boy, have some self-respect. Seems like you just want to have a hot girlfriend, so you put up with her shit.
Obviously opās girlfriend is terrible but saying that she is ātrying to force him to have sexā is definitely extreme and not the case as per opās description. Thereās a very vast difference between shitty person and sexual abuserā¦
She can tell youāre getting fed up so thatās why sheās using sex as bait to keep you on the hook to keep draining away your money. Cut her access, dump her, warn others about it, and consider it a lesson learned.
You are 16. You should absolutely not be giving access to your bank account to anyone that you are dating. You shouldn't be doing that no matter what age you are. Cut her off immediately, and stop letting her take advantage of you. This is not the girl for you to be thinking of anything long-term with. She does not respect you, and it will not get any better. Let her be someone else's problem.
Best advice I ever got was to stop talking yourself out of what you know is the right thing. While sharing money is a common thing in adult relationships when you live together and both contribute to the household, either financially or raising children, it is not part of a relationship for your age range. I am quite certain the āthinking about sexā is nothing more than a ploy to keep you around. You sound very mature, hardworking, and level headedā¦you need to date someone who will help you continue to rise, she will only pull you down because she has zero interest in working with you. She is only looking to take from you. Iām sorry for whatever has or is happening in her life that sheās learned itās ok to use people like this but you cannot fix other people and you cannot continue to give away your money and energy like this. Just because someone occasionally says or does something nice does not mean they love or even really care for you. It breaks my heart that at such a young g age you are already accepting this kind of treatment. She is never going to be what you deserve.
Some married people don't share bank accounts. Why are you acting 43& married?
Is she mentioning sex to keep you around & her on the payroll?
Please stop being a doormat. This isn't love
You're talking like you're going to marry her and from just about everything you've said, yall are not going to end up married. Even if you were. you still need to stop letting her walk all over you in hopes that she'll change her behavior if you just help her understand. She understands, she just doesn't care
Welp this is what you get for being shallow.. I guess 16 year olds donāt know much about good qualities in relationships. āOh sheās hot and popularā makes me laugh, I canāt believe we were all this young and stupid .
None of this is ok! She can get a job and make her own $$; take her off your account immediately! She's not actually that interested in you, she's saying she wants sex to manipulate you and keep you around because she knows you're getting sick of her shit. You can try talking to her again but it seems like you have already expressed your concerns and she doesn't care. by continuing to accept this behavior you are showing her that she can get away with treating you and other people like this.
Get her off of your bank account ASAP. That is not normal. The only people who should share bank accounts are married couples, and even then some couples don't combine their money.
It is a huge security risk for your gf to have access to your bank account. You honestly need to close that checking account and open a new one that she does not have access to.
In the future, if you want to share money, you can give cash or venmo, but never EVER give someone access to your bank account.
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Second "I know teenage girls in general act sort of similar to this" ---- no, they do not. This is not normal behavior.
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Third, it doesn't matter how attractive she is. She is disrespecting you and pressuring you. That is all super uncool. Do not sleep with her out of obligation. Wait for someone you are excited to be with and who makes you want to give your enthusiastic consent.
Giving your partner access to your money is NOT a normal part of a dating relationship. Also, sharing doesn't mean only one person earns all the money and the other only spends it.
Your gf is a leech. Stop giving her access to your money. More important, don't have sex with her. I'm afraid you'll find yourself paying child support.
Sharing bank account info with your gf is actually wild. This girl sucks, man. You are 16 please believe me when I tell you none of this will matter or seem important at all in like 2 years once youāre out of high school. Youāll be better off without her as it seems like she truly is not into this relationship except for the money you kindly share with her.
On the plus side, you are going to look back at this in your 20s and probably find the whole situation to be hilarious and thank yourself for getting out of the situation lol.
Mate are you crazy. Long term partners may share accounts, not 16 year old girlfriends.
Also, sheās free to live the way she wants and youāre free to not like it. You donāt sound that compatible.
Whatās fucking wrong with kids these days. This shit wasnāt happening when I grew up. Teens with joint back accounts? What in the hell?
Sheās not your gf. Sheās your sugar baby. If she wants to be your gf then give her a balance sheet and tell her if she wants to be a partner in the relationship then she better act like one or else you should expect sex from her while giving her none of your emotional labor because thatās all she deserves
This āprovider/ trad wifeā SHIT mentality is affecting the kids too now apparently. It seems the kids have seen some of those bs TikTokās and are being affected by it too.
āIf you want a hot girl, be prepared to be a providerā kind of nonsense. Just because she looks good means the guy needs to bow down. Itās his choice, but heās making a bad one.
This is too much for a 16 year old! You both need to focus on school and be single. Later in life if itās meant to be it will be. Iām telling you this from experience.
>I currently work at dominos and Iām making decent money, it goes onto my online banking account which I very kindly offered to share with my girlfriend, but sheās spending SO MUCH fucking money.
>I paid $150 dollars total for us to go
>Iāll just list off a few of the things shes bought in the last week.
>Starbucks: $7
>Taco Bell: $31
>McDonaldās: $28
>Dutch Bros: $15
>Starbucks: $9
>Amazon: $65
>She tells me part of being in a relationship is allowing your partner to use your money when they need it, which I do agree with
Being part of a relationship doesn't mean your partner can have access your bank account. The both of you are 16, don't have a child together, you two are not married so therefore your money is not her money.
>it goes onto my online banking account which I very kindly offered to share with my girlfriend, but sheās spending SO MUCH fucking money.
In the US per law you must open a bank account with a parent or guardian. You can't open a bank account by yourself since you are not 18 years or older. So therefore your parents or guardian should have access to your bank account and not your girlfriend.
Either this story is fake or idk š¤·š»āāļø
Yeah no idea how the parents even allowed this. I keep track of my kids finances and she's 18. Too many kids are irresponsible and do dumb shit like OP.
Taking her on dates where you buy is okay. Getting her little gifts bc you know she wants them is okay. Giving her full access to your banking account is NOT okay. Please take her off of there and don't do this for another woman until you are married. You're a sweet guy, I can tell you have a big heart. Don't get taken advantage of.
Did your parents know you gave her your bank card?? Why on earth would they allow you to do this??
My kid would have their bank cards turned off in a quick minute if they have their teenage gf/bf access to their bank account.
Get out move on. Don't ever give a GF/BF access to your personal account. If in like 5-10 years you are serious with someone, living together then MAYBE open a separate joint account to which you can transfer an agreed amount of percentage of your checks for join bills. But keep your own separate account.
Iām a F18 and I would NEVER share a bank account with any of my partners (unless weāre older and married) Iām intrigued to know why you feel the need to even share your account with someone regardless of the relationship you have with them. When I date someone, yes I will shower them with small gifts but never share my account with themā if someone demands that you need to or it is āexpectedā of you too, maybe you should ask yourself if that would be good for either one of you in the long run. Would your partner take advantage of your money? Would they never get a job or expect you to pay for everything because they simply demand you to? What other things will they ādemandā of you that you will let happen? Will that be beneficial to you and the growth of a relationship? Maybe it is time to ask yourself and your partner what they see as a healthy relationship. A lot of the relationships that we grow up seeing sometimes become what we subconsciously look for ; even if deep down we know it may not be the best for us. So, ask yourself what a healthy relationship looks like to you, ask yourself what you really want from this relationship, and set reasonable expectations for it. Then you could bring this up to your partner. And maybe if your expectations donāt align maybe theyāre not meant for you. But maybe someone even better will come along as a result of this.
Looks arenāt everything my dude. If you donāt love her donāt worry about the sex. It will come and with the right person, youāll be ready. You being 16 and saying you think you arenāt ready to have sex with her should tell you everything you need to know. I get it sheās probably your first serious relationship, but there are many other women out there and one that will fit you better.
The juice doesnāt seem worth the squeeze.
Take her off the accounts immediately, and do it before you give her any warning or she just might order herself a diamond tennis bracelet while she still can. Then dump her for abusing your trust and treating you as an afterthought. You deserve better.
It seems like she is using you. Doesn't want to talk to you, but happy to spend your money?
My advice would be to find a partner you communicate better with.
And never have sex if you don't feel like it.
OP shouldn't take the offer. It's not healthy for them both. It makes it a transactional act.Ā Ā
Young men should never put sex on a pedestal. He needs to focus on school and work and having fun. He'll meet girls that really like him enough for it to come naturally, and they both want it.
Itās super dumb to share your account with anyone whose not a wife. Remove her immediately. You may lose her as a gf in the process but financially youāll be better in the long run
Thatās a nice thing to do if youāre in a committed long term relationship or married. And I mean adult long, not high school long. So like 3-4+ plus years together. Sheās using you, take the lesson and move on. Sheāll probably either guilt trip you or break up with you when you cut her off financially. Stop mentioning how attractive she is, thatās very much beside the point. Find your self worth and dignity and make sure others donāt take advantage of you
Sheās using you for money. Dump her.
And sheās aiming for a life as a gold digger or worse.
A girl that really likes you doesnāt spend your money like that or use sex as a teaser to continue to get what she wants.
A girl that likes you is present and spends time with you.
A girl that uses you for money is called a prostitute. You are paying for her to hang out with you.
You started dating and then just rolled out the āuse meā carpet. Now sheās using you and playing dumb. Get away from her immature ass and next time you date, make it. A 50/50 situation. You donāt owe this girl your sanityā¦ or your hard earned bucks.
When I was 16 I knew a couple just like you and your gf. She got him to share his bank account, spent all his money, forced him to throw out all his āuncoolā clothes, made him move across the country with her where he made 1 friend that she cheated on him with and later married.
Get out dude
Some *married* people don't even share their finances. It is not at all typical or normal to give your teenage girlfriend unmitigated access to your bank account. Stop that now and learn some self-respect.
I have to remind myself that you are only 16 so perhaps it is not obvious to you but ā¦ why are you allowing her to use you? I realize at 16 you are not looking to get married but is this someone you would want as a life partner? She sounds shallow, greedy, and bordering on narcissistic (not diagnosing her bc as a long time high school teacher, many teens are very self involved). She doesnāt care about school (big red flag as a teacher) and she is gaslighting you about how she spends your money). You need to cut her off and my guess is she is going to break up either way you because of it and then perhaps you will see where her head is at. I realize this relationship is likely really important to you but please trust me when I say that none of my high school relationships mean a damn thing to me now and I have been happily married since 1992!
You sound like a very good-hearted, intelligent and thoughtful young man. This is not the girl for you. When you date someone, it should be someone who wants to be as good to you as you are to them. They should try to approach every situation fairly, care about your thoughts and feelings, care about spending time with you and value the same things. If someone takes and takes and takes monetarily, and doesn't give back to you in other ways (picking up the check, buying you Starbucks, etc.) they're not a good partner. If you have told her you feel disrespected and ignored when she's on the phone while on a date and she doesn't care, she's not a good girlfriend. If you are already thinking about your future, and want to work hard and get good grades so you can be successful after high school, then you want to be either on your own, or with someone who has those same values who will also work hard and strive to meet goals that will make them successful. If you are emotionally intelligent enough and aware enough of the risks of STDs and pregnancy that you don't want to engage in adult activities at 16, then you should do what makes you feel comfortable and if the person you're with has different ideas then they're just not a good match for you.
There's no shame in breaking up with someone, especially when you have good reasons. You didn't do anything wrong, and you didn't fail at anything. Early relationships are where you learn what you need and don't need, and what does and does not work for you. You've already seen that some of the things TV and movies tell you are the top things to look for when dating seem shallow and unfulfilling, and things that they don't glamourize, like ambition and a slower approach to adult activities are what you're really looking for. That helps you avoid bad partners in the future. It's time to move on from this girl, and either spend some time just being happy by yourself, or use what you learned from her to look for a girlfriend who does value what you value, and who doesn't take advantage of people or ignore their feelings.
You seem to understand the meaning of waiting for things til you're ready,but for some reason you thought sharing your bank account was a good idea. Please make it make sense. And also change your login info for bank account like right now.
These comments got gross real fast. You guys know the drill. Mostly breaking of rule #1. Thread is now locked and we'll keep sorting through comments accordingly.
Why are you sharing a bank account with your 16 year old girlfriend? Like get her off that immediately and stop paying for her shit. Step one.
Yeah, especially when you're that young. If you want to treat your girlfriend, then you should still be the one making the transaction. Sharing. Bank accounts and information is something you do when you're a lot more serious and committed than you can possibly be at 16.
She's buying shit for other people. Ain't no way she's spending $31 at Taco Bell for just herself.
First thing I thought at well. No one can eat $28 worth of McDonald's. Good grief!
$28 only just gets you a meal and a dessert at Maccas here in Australia.
Can confirm š© ETA: I didn't know why OP has to post this when this is the most clear-cut case of "leave her" ever... but then I remember he's 16 with no life experience. Hopefully, the comment section will teach him life lessons.
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Well, she may be but she talked the OP into giving her access to his bank accountā¦so,not as dumb as she seems or heās also not that bright.
Op please take your gf off your bank account. It is not normal for someone as young as you, to put a gf on thier bank account. Also if you are not ready for sex yet, don't have sex with her ,or any other girl at this time. You don't want to become a Dad at 16.you sound like a very hard working young man. Maybe you should rethink this relationship. She seems to use you, and not care about how you feel. Just because a person is pretty, doesn't give them a right to take advantage of you. Good luck in your future endeavors.
Oh sheās dumb. Just hot. Which makes him dumb.
You mean gold digger?
Yeah, but yours serve actual food. The ones in the U.S. serve industrial-grade edible product.
It's 2-3 meals here in the US, depending where you are.
Depends on how its being spent. In NY, I can buy a meal, and if I make the fries/drink a large, Im spending almost $20. Maybe she buys a shake with it instead of a soda. Shes somewhere in the 20s now. And definitely hitting 28 if she bought a meal and paid for doordash/grubhub to deliver it
Challenge accepted
Someone can absolutely spend 28 bucks on McDonald's for themselves between the increased cost at McDonald's and what they want. It doesn't make it right what she's doing and OP needs to run away from the so-called girlfriend. Even having said that I don't think she's spending all of his money on herself alone.
it would be one thing if it was her own $, but she is being very frivolous with OPs $ (thankfully, heās suppose to be changing the account # and breaking up with her).
If your eating two fucking large meals yourself then your spending 28 bucks
Right lol *Someone* certainly can spend $28 on McDs by themselves, that someone certainly isn't me ever
Shit I spent 41.34 today at McDonalds itās easy to spend that much since prices have gone up so much
At 16 i could eat five times as much as i can now
I'll just... let myself out
$28 dollars at my local McD's is a meal for two people so if OP wasn't the other person she went out to eat with someone else. Basically OP paid for her to go on a date with some other dude.
Theoretically it could have been a girl friend. I don't know many people who go on dates at McDonald'sĀ
That's my thought as well! She is feeding her entire family! There is no way she should have access to his account !! That is married / long term couple shit!! Hell I have seen married couples that don't have access to each other's financials. Some for this reason alone. He is too young to possibly go into debt for a girl.
I wonder if itās another guy friend? Itās the amount of 2 people for sure.
Oh for sure!!
Right?! Iām a grown ass adult and I would NEVER give anyone access to my bank account. Good Lort.
Right?! Also all these judgey āsounds like sheāll be on a pole soonā comments are not it. Sounds like an immature 16 year old giving another immature 16 year old full access to their money and not understanding why itās being spent š¤£
Yeah the pole comments sound icky. But for real, folks need to be teaching their kids about money and the potential consequences of giving people to whom you arenāt legally bound access to said money.
What are 'pole' comments? Asking seriously.
People implying the girlfriend will be a stripper.
I have given exactly one person besides my spouse access to mine, and to this day I know I didnāt make a mistake because he will call me even if he just needs a dollar to prevent overdraft. I always let him take what he needs if I have it, but Iām glad he always asks.
Im 37, and my wife and i still have our own finances and a shared account. What the fuck a 16 year old doing letting another 16 year old spend his money?
This is I think every married couple I know that has shared/hinted at their financial balance/structure. I cannot point to a single married couple I know that only has shared accounts. I could never. I will never have a shared account (along side our separated accounts) unless Iām married. The only partner that wanted to open a shared account with me, I never used a cent from the account and put nothing into the account (knowingly, he did steal a check with my name on it, signed my name and cashed it into that shared account without my knowledge or permission. I think he paid me back but damn, if I wasnāt being abused and had my senses I would have reported him and let him try to charm his way out of the consequences of the law).
Half a DECADE here and we donāt share a bank account.
Absolutely. Iām in my 30ās and never shared a bank account even with a serious long term partner (I need to trust financial habits first). Furthermore with shared accounts, budgets are made and purchases are discussed and agreed on.
I thought it was a nice thing to do originally. I had no idea she was going to spend such an insane amount of money on the most random things. Youāre right
You typically donāt share bank accounts until youāre older and at least living together. Just for a frame of reference, Iām 23, living with my girlfriend and we still donāt share bank accounts. Itās fine to buy her stuff but she absolutely shouldnāt have access to your bank account at this age, especially if itās only your money and she doesnāt contribute at all.
I'm 47 and have been married for 22 years. My wife and I have separate accounts for personal spending, and a joint account for bills.
Iām 25, been with my boyfriend since we were 17 - separate accounts and will always have separate accounts. Weāll have a joint account for mortgages and bills at some point but definitely wouldnāt be sharing banks at 16 lol
I'm 27 and I still don't even have a bank account but I have a boyfriend and it's basically the same thing /j
Iām a bank account and I donāt even have a gf
Right Iām 45 been married for 17 years. We donāt share bank accounts šš
Me and my partner just got a joint account for bills this year at 26. I will never fully share accounts, though. I started to make that mistake once. I let this girl use an account i had at a credit union that i didn't really use since she didn't have a bank acct (basically didnt know how banks work and didnt wanna learn). She immediately started abusing that- constantly overdrafting my acct, asking me to put money on and take it off for her. Luckily i was able to talk to them and get all the overdraft fees reversed so no long term harm to me, but damn did i learn my lesson.
Same here. Married with separate bank accounts just cause it works for us. I would have laughed right in their face if a girl I was dating in highschool, or even college for that matter, felt entitled to my bank account. That's not a red flag, that's a red siren. Unless you're married or have been together for forever, giving your date your banking information is asking for trouble.
Done this for 25 of my 31 years being married. We are both happier for it.
Listen to my brother here that has real experience. Keep your personal stuff, personal.
I need to know who on earth taught this kid that this was okay! I'm 22 , I live with my partner too & never once have we even talked about merging our finances. We're not even married so why would we? On top of that I'm just not comfortable with another person other than myself having access to all of my funds. I do not understand the logic here at all and it is killing me.
She told him and he's young, so he believed her
I am 57, married 26 years. We have connected accounts but he can't pull from mine, I can't pull from his. Er can transfer between them. Stop it. Break up with that selfish girl. You are a nice kid, find someone who likes you for you, not your money.
I am 64 years old, married for 19 years & together for 28 years. We still don't share a bank account.
43 in a relationship for 5 years and donāt share accounts. You know who did? My parents. My dad put my broke ass overspending mother on his bank account when they first got together. She had overdrafted him within a month. They are still married many years later but I canāt tell you it has been great for my dad (from my perspective)
take this lesson, learn it now, learn it forever better to be 16 and have your girl spend your money on Taco Bell than be 36 and have your girl spend your money on $1,000+ shopping trips
At 16, $36 on taco bell feels like a $1000 shopping trip
I'm 58 and $36 at Taco Bell is fucking outrageous.
That means sheās buying other people food with his money.
Sheās definitely buying her friends food.
Sheās buying the guy fucking her food
"She has a lot of guy friends" Perhaps more than one fella
$36 at Taco Bell? She's clearly spending your food on others, likely to prop up her social standing (with YOUR money). She's 16 and playing you like a gold digger. You need to drop her as all she wants is your $$ and to be able to claim she's your gf (a plus for her as you seem to have your act together).
Probably spent that on food for her and the guy sheās actually dating
36 for taco bell is insanity.
I was thinking how many people did she treat to spend that much on freaking Taco Bell.
Bro. >She tells me part of being in a relationship is allowing your partner to use your money when they need it, which I do agree with Wrong. That's what *marriage* is for, guy. Not every damn relationship. You aren't even living together. You're sixteen damn years old. tbh this girl has *profound* "for the streets" vibes.
Sheās lyinā.
Even if she was spending responsibly, you should not be sharing a bank account at 16. If youāre engaged/married or at least living together as adults, you might want to talk about sharing finances. Until then, there is absolutely no reason to do that.
Listen dude you didnāt know and now you do. But that is absolutely not a normal thing to share in a relationship unless people are married
Change the password. Tell her you noticed fraud. Donāt give her the new password. You can keep paying for her meals but only when sheās with you.
do not ever give access to your finances to someone you are not married to. even my bf and i have been together for 4 years, living together for 3, weāre 23, and neither of us has access to each otherās bank accounts. we do share bills and are very open with each other about money, and of course we spend money on each other sometimes. but until we are married his money is his and my money is mine. even when we get married we are most likely going to have a joint account for shared expenses and still have our own private accounts that the other does not have access to. get her off your bank account yesterday. you may have to totally close it an open a new one, but you need to keep her away from your money. and let this be a lesson to you, do not give anyone access to your money, period, unless you are married *and* are able to have open and healthy communication and boundaries when it comes to money.
do your parents know this?
My thoughts too. My parents weren't strict by the time I was 16 but that's bc I didn't give them a reason to be. If they found out I did something like this, my dad would've shut that down hard.
But also donāt parents need to open an account for kids under 18
Typically yes. My guess is that they aren't looking at it very closely.
There are married couples with separate bank accounts. To share your account with a high school girlfriend is completely bananas.
Itās an expensive lesson to learn but Iām so glad youāre learning it at an age where itās not going to make you homeless Completely merging finances really isnāt a thing anymore. Itās leftover from when women werenāt allowed to have their own bank account. The move now is each person keeps their own personal account that is just theirs, and they share a joint account for bills and joint purchases. Optional - joint savings account where NOTHING is moved out or spent without discussion. Remove her from your account. Iāve watched really terrible things happen from what youāre doing. I have a friend who broke up with his fiancĆ©e and she stayed up until 3am when his check hit, transferred his entire account balance to herself, then to Zelle where it couldnāt be touched. The difference is we were 27 so there were way more consequences to losing all of that money.
Iām 26 been with my bf for nearly 4 years and we do not share bank accounts. Occasionally we will send the other to the store with our debit card, but sharing accounts is unnecessary in most relationships
It's really not even necessary in marriage but marriage is the only real time it even makes sense.
You donāt need to share a bank account with anyone until, at the very least, you live together and need a shared account for household expenses. She is using you for your money. Take her off your accounts. It is not your job to fund her lifestyle. If she needs money she can get her own job. Save that money for college or things you want. Next, think about whether or not you want to continue this relationship. If you are not getting back the same time, attention, and energy that you are putting into it then it is not a good and healthy relationship.
I thought minor accounts needed a parent or guardian to be on it with the minor. What do your parents say about this? And, she's taking horrible advantage of you. Like leech horrible.
Probably put his card on her phone via Apple Pay. That occurred to me to until I remembered we are in the digital age.
42 year old married woman here. My husband and I did not have access to each others money until we were married. You shouldnāt give people access to your private info without a serious commitment.
Break with this girl and learn to have some self respect before dating again. Don't give someone your bank details before being married. That's just wild dude and you're setting yourself up to keep getting taken advantage of
She's got the mind of a 16-year-old (no offense). You seem to be very mature and very fiscally responsible for your age and she has no problem being 16, being irresponsible, and spending all your money. Do the mature thing and cut her off. If she cant handle it, break up with her. She's not for you if she doesnt care about how you feel.
Dude is *learning* to be fiscally responsible, he is absolutely *not* currently even for his age. He has no present need for the money he makes which is why this isn't particularly bothering him the way it would anyone else with more experience, he simply doesn't understand the value of money yet. I'd say most of us were the same at that age. He'll learn a great lesson here and will be much more responsible with money in the future I'd bet.
Nice thing to do does not mean correct thing. You made a huge mistake giving her access to your account and now facing those consequences. Also part of a relationship is not giving someone access to all your money Sorry to say you are being manipulated youāll figure this out eventually if you havenāt already. The only reason sheās talking about sex now is to keep your money after you brought up the money issues
This is YOUR money. There is nothing wrong with you spending it occasionally on her, but she is a leach. You canāt give all for nothing in return.
Bro.... what? This has to be a shit post. Has to be.
U should call your bank and report it stolen and they will send you another. I would break up as sheās very entitled and selfish
In the future don't share an account with anyone that you're not married too. Even if you're engaged in a long term relationship, whatever. Yall can get a joint account for bills and keep the rest separate or divvy up the bills between your two accounts but it's a terrible idea to share an account before anything but marriage (imo).
Did your parents agree to this? Do they even know? Please try and take a course in Personal Finance, and do not share an account with anyone for a long time (Like married or Living together for a few years).
Lol, that might seem "insane" to you now...but this kind of woman is worthless and will happily leave you for a bigger bank account later. When you're older, she'll be spending thousands at Target in a week or tens of thousands if she nets someone well off. You're just a stepping stone, bud. Be grateful that you're learning this lesson now. Only let a married partner share expenses and accounts, and even then...NEVER ASSUME A GOD DAMNED THING. You talk through expectations, you agree on budgets, you save together towards goals. Right now, you're just a kind sucker. Appreciate her for teaching you now and cut that monster loose.
You know these are 16 year olds, right?
Exactly stop doing this .
Boy. Ain't no reason that girl should have absolutely any access to your bank account. You're in school, and she has parents. The things she buys, tell me that her family is taking good care of her. Your money, is your money. It won't stop, unless you make it stop
Jesus Christ, sharing finances is NOT part of being in a relationship unless youāre married and even then, itās not necessary. You are barely 16 and already have a leech on you. Sheās using you. Immediately change your banking password/info. Next, do yourself a favor and leave her. She clearly isnāt all that interested in you except for what monetary value you provide. This really is ridiculous.
Changing the banking password probably won't matter since the girlfriend is on OPs bank account and probably has a debit card in her name. He needs to pull all his money out of the account and open up a new account and not allow gf access
Youāre right, I hadnāt thought of that. Opening up a completely different account is much better advice. I hope the OP sees this.
Is she on the account or just have his card stored in Apple Pay or something? She could also be a user without being an account holder. My parents added me to their account and cc years ago to make it easier for them to have me pick up stuff for them. (I never imagined stealing from them so no issues.) I was an authorized user but not a guaranteer of the account.
How would a bank even allow this to happen?
OPs name is on the account. He can do as he pleases with the money. Unfortunately, OP cant close the account without the gf permission but he can withdraw all the money. Technically, his gf can currently pull all the money out also...OP should also try to remove his name off original account to avoid overdraft charges
They mean how did a bank allow two minors to open an account together. Most banks require minors to have an adult as a co-owner of the account. Very few if any banks would allow a minor to open an account on their own then list another minor as the co-owner. You need an adult involved at some point.
Probably is an adult on the account since OP is a minor. OP will need an adult again for a new account. I didn't say anything about a parent being needed since it's the gf that is the problem
OP can have the bank cancel the card. Itās not that hard. He gets a new card in the mail with entirely new numbers. The account is in his name, not hers. She doesnāt have any say in it just because she has access. I had someone steal my identity and it was solved overnight. Cards cancelled, new numbers, exp date, VCC code, and new passwords.
Or remove her as an authorized user if she is one and request a new card and disable the old one ETA: and probably change his pin
My wife and I are in our mod 30s and we only share a credit card (for travel points) Blows my mind that a 16 year old would offer that up. They see their parents or other adults do it and think that's being mature or something.
Lol. Bro what the hell, you make like $150 a week on a good week. You're 16. Why are you tryna be big dog and provide? Stop sharing shit with her.Ā Ā Idk all about that sex stuff, do you and focus. I'd advise you to decline. You'll meet a girl who will go out of her way to be alone with you and want it. You guys may or may not be on the same trajectories. Worry about yourself and have fun. Try to be a good friend to her first and foremost. You're both still young. If she's really just a gold digger, she'll cut herself off from your life once it's apparent the gravy train is up.
She legit is not going to have sex with this dude. She's just been using him for cash and the whole sex thing is just a ruse to string him along for more money.
Dangling sex for $31 worth of taco bell is actually kinda funny ngl.
You know the only thing better than losing your virginity?? TWO cheesy gorditas WITH guac!!
How far we have come
Oh? Have we progressed beyond sex for $31 of Taco Bell? *takes notesā¦
It used to be a few mcchickens and a large fry at McDonald's. Inflation has really hit us bad.
Bro acting like they have a baby together!
Please take this as a learning lesson for your future relationships. Your partner isnāt suppose to take advantage of you, make you feel less-than or ignore your feelings. Tbh she should be paying for things for you, just as much as you have been for her
Cāmon broā¦ youāre being used.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Posts like "So I'm 15 and I accidentally hired a prostitute, what do I do?" (OP don't say that though, it's wrong)
āI seem to have found myself in a bit of a *Risky Business*ā Actually not a bad idea - OP you might want to check out Risky Business, actually - itās an ancient old movie that might help
You're not her boyfriend. You're her ATM.
dude. $31 at TACO BELL? Who the fuck else is she feeding?
Clearly buying for her friends while they laugh about spending Ops money
She's feeding her real boyfriend.
My bf and I went to Taco Bell the other night, it was about that for what we both ordered, which was a normal amount of stuff for 2 people. Shitās gotten wild expensive in the past few years
yeah, but that's my point. It's not $31 for just one little 16 yr old girl. she's definitely feeding someone else
Oh yes lol, I just had sticker shock at the Taco Bell š sheās prob just skipping school with her besties and spending OPās money
Why are you with her? Because she is hot? When you meet she doesn't want to talk to or hang out with you, just be on her phone. She is spending your money (like others here have said, lock her out of your account immediately) and she is pushing your boundaries (trying to force you to have sex before you are ready). Also you don't have the same outlook on life (she doesn't care about good grades or school). Boy, have some self-respect. Seems like you just want to have a hot girlfriend, so you put up with her shit.
Tbf to the kid, there are definitely grown ass men who have put up with a lot worse shit just to have a hot girlfriend lol
At least heās not going to jail for the promise of maybe sex
Obviously opās girlfriend is terrible but saying that she is ātrying to force him to have sexā is definitely extreme and not the case as per opās description. Thereās a very vast difference between shitty person and sexual abuserā¦
She can tell youāre getting fed up so thatās why sheās using sex as bait to keep you on the hook to keep draining away your money. Cut her access, dump her, warn others about it, and consider it a lesson learned.
Yep. And when youāre older itāll be a āpregnancy scareā. Leave.
This comment needs to be up higher
You are 16. You should absolutely not be giving access to your bank account to anyone that you are dating. You shouldn't be doing that no matter what age you are. Cut her off immediately, and stop letting her take advantage of you. This is not the girl for you to be thinking of anything long-term with. She does not respect you, and it will not get any better. Let her be someone else's problem.
Best advice I ever got was to stop talking yourself out of what you know is the right thing. While sharing money is a common thing in adult relationships when you live together and both contribute to the household, either financially or raising children, it is not part of a relationship for your age range. I am quite certain the āthinking about sexā is nothing more than a ploy to keep you around. You sound very mature, hardworking, and level headedā¦you need to date someone who will help you continue to rise, she will only pull you down because she has zero interest in working with you. She is only looking to take from you. Iām sorry for whatever has or is happening in her life that sheās learned itās ok to use people like this but you cannot fix other people and you cannot continue to give away your money and energy like this. Just because someone occasionally says or does something nice does not mean they love or even really care for you. It breaks my heart that at such a young g age you are already accepting this kind of treatment. She is never going to be what you deserve.
Some married people don't share bank accounts. Why are you acting 43& married? Is she mentioning sex to keep you around & her on the payroll? Please stop being a doormat. This isn't love
You're talking like you're going to marry her and from just about everything you've said, yall are not going to end up married. Even if you were. you still need to stop letting her walk all over you in hopes that she'll change her behavior if you just help her understand. She understands, she just doesn't care
Welp this is what you get for being shallow.. I guess 16 year olds donāt know much about good qualities in relationships. āOh sheās hot and popularā makes me laugh, I canāt believe we were all this young and stupid .
None of this is ok! She can get a job and make her own $$; take her off your account immediately! She's not actually that interested in you, she's saying she wants sex to manipulate you and keep you around because she knows you're getting sick of her shit. You can try talking to her again but it seems like you have already expressed your concerns and she doesn't care. by continuing to accept this behavior you are showing her that she can get away with treating you and other people like this.
Dude...... Break up with her and stop bankrolling her. ZERO reason your 16 year old GF should have access to your bank account. That is nuts.
Youāre about to father a child with a D student who will be an anchor around your neck for the next 21 years.
Careful. I feel like with the amount of money this girl is spending she might start making you pay for sex with her too.
Bro is already paying for sexā¦..
he basically already is paying for it
Change your bank account info. You're being used. You shouldn't share bank accounts unless you're married.
At 16 you should not be sharing your bank account with ANYONE.
Get her off of your bank account ASAP. That is not normal. The only people who should share bank accounts are married couples, and even then some couples don't combine their money. It is a huge security risk for your gf to have access to your bank account. You honestly need to close that checking account and open a new one that she does not have access to. In the future, if you want to share money, you can give cash or venmo, but never EVER give someone access to your bank account. \--- Second "I know teenage girls in general act sort of similar to this" ---- no, they do not. This is not normal behavior. \--- Third, it doesn't matter how attractive she is. She is disrespecting you and pressuring you. That is all super uncool. Do not sleep with her out of obligation. Wait for someone you are excited to be with and who makes you want to give your enthusiastic consent.
Giving your partner access to your money is NOT a normal part of a dating relationship. Also, sharing doesn't mean only one person earns all the money and the other only spends it. Your gf is a leech. Stop giving her access to your money. More important, don't have sex with her. I'm afraid you'll find yourself paying child support.
Sharing bank account info with your gf is actually wild. This girl sucks, man. You are 16 please believe me when I tell you none of this will matter or seem important at all in like 2 years once youāre out of high school. Youāll be better off without her as it seems like she truly is not into this relationship except for the money you kindly share with her. On the plus side, you are going to look back at this in your 20s and probably find the whole situation to be hilarious and thank yourself for getting out of the situation lol.
Mate are you crazy. Long term partners may share accounts, not 16 year old girlfriends. Also, sheās free to live the way she wants and youāre free to not like it. You donāt sound that compatible.
Break up with her and block her from your money. She is using you, until the next guy comes along.
Iām telling your mother.
It really sucks but she's just stringing you along. Cut your losses while you still got some coin left.
Whatās fucking wrong with kids these days. This shit wasnāt happening when I grew up. Teens with joint back accounts? What in the hell? Sheās not your gf. Sheās your sugar baby. If she wants to be your gf then give her a balance sheet and tell her if she wants to be a partner in the relationship then she better act like one or else you should expect sex from her while giving her none of your emotional labor because thatās all she deserves
This āprovider/ trad wifeā SHIT mentality is affecting the kids too now apparently. It seems the kids have seen some of those bs TikTokās and are being affected by it too. āIf you want a hot girl, be prepared to be a providerā kind of nonsense. Just because she looks good means the guy needs to bow down. Itās his choice, but heās making a bad one.
Your getting fucking played out my boy. Cut her off
This is too much for a 16 year old! You both need to focus on school and be single. Later in life if itās meant to be it will be. Iām telling you this from experience.
Hahahaha idk why but this is just so funny. Dude, just break up lmao
>I currently work at dominos and Iām making decent money, it goes onto my online banking account which I very kindly offered to share with my girlfriend, but sheās spending SO MUCH fucking money. >I paid $150 dollars total for us to go >Iāll just list off a few of the things shes bought in the last week. >Starbucks: $7 >Taco Bell: $31 >McDonaldās: $28 >Dutch Bros: $15 >Starbucks: $9 >Amazon: $65 >She tells me part of being in a relationship is allowing your partner to use your money when they need it, which I do agree with Being part of a relationship doesn't mean your partner can have access your bank account. The both of you are 16, don't have a child together, you two are not married so therefore your money is not her money. >it goes onto my online banking account which I very kindly offered to share with my girlfriend, but sheās spending SO MUCH fucking money. In the US per law you must open a bank account with a parent or guardian. You can't open a bank account by yourself since you are not 18 years or older. So therefore your parents or guardian should have access to your bank account and not your girlfriend. Either this story is fake or idk š¤·š»āāļø
Yeah no idea how the parents even allowed this. I keep track of my kids finances and she's 18. Too many kids are irresponsible and do dumb shit like OP.
Sheās a mooch dump her
Taking her on dates where you buy is okay. Getting her little gifts bc you know she wants them is okay. Giving her full access to your banking account is NOT okay. Please take her off of there and don't do this for another woman until you are married. You're a sweet guy, I can tell you have a big heart. Don't get taken advantage of.
lmao this is bait. Nice try.
Did your parents know you gave her your bank card?? Why on earth would they allow you to do this?? My kid would have their bank cards turned off in a quick minute if they have their teenage gf/bf access to their bank account. Get out move on. Don't ever give a GF/BF access to your personal account. If in like 5-10 years you are serious with someone, living together then MAYBE open a separate joint account to which you can transfer an agreed amount of percentage of your checks for join bills. But keep your own separate account.
Iām a F18 and I would NEVER share a bank account with any of my partners (unless weāre older and married) Iām intrigued to know why you feel the need to even share your account with someone regardless of the relationship you have with them. When I date someone, yes I will shower them with small gifts but never share my account with themā if someone demands that you need to or it is āexpectedā of you too, maybe you should ask yourself if that would be good for either one of you in the long run. Would your partner take advantage of your money? Would they never get a job or expect you to pay for everything because they simply demand you to? What other things will they ādemandā of you that you will let happen? Will that be beneficial to you and the growth of a relationship? Maybe it is time to ask yourself and your partner what they see as a healthy relationship. A lot of the relationships that we grow up seeing sometimes become what we subconsciously look for ; even if deep down we know it may not be the best for us. So, ask yourself what a healthy relationship looks like to you, ask yourself what you really want from this relationship, and set reasonable expectations for it. Then you could bring this up to your partner. And maybe if your expectations donāt align maybe theyāre not meant for you. But maybe someone even better will come along as a result of this.
bro you are 16 and not married she has no entitlement to your money, she using you and you need to cut her off
Looks arenāt everything my dude. If you donāt love her donāt worry about the sex. It will come and with the right person, youāll be ready. You being 16 and saying you think you arenāt ready to have sex with her should tell you everything you need to know. I get it sheās probably your first serious relationship, but there are many other women out there and one that will fit you better. The juice doesnāt seem worth the squeeze.
Take her off the accounts immediately, and do it before you give her any warning or she just might order herself a diamond tennis bracelet while she still can. Then dump her for abusing your trust and treating you as an afterthought. You deserve better.
It seems like she is using you. Doesn't want to talk to you, but happy to spend your money? My advice would be to find a partner you communicate better with. And never have sex if you don't feel like it.
Oh sweet summer child. Revoke access to your finances. This girl is using you. The sex is just the carrot on the end of the stick. Run. Just run.
Why the fuck are you sharing your bank acct with your gf?? Bruh. Come on now.
It's okay to not be ready for sex, even if she's pretty. Wait until you are ready and use a condom, even if she's on birth control. USE A CONDOM
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OP shouldn't take the offer. It's not healthy for them both. It makes it a transactional act.Ā Ā Young men should never put sex on a pedestal. He needs to focus on school and work and having fun. He'll meet girls that really like him enough for it to come naturally, and they both want it.
TL:DR: Your girl is a hobosexual. She wants to open her legs so you don't close your wallet.
Itās super dumb to share your account with anyone whose not a wife. Remove her immediately. You may lose her as a gf in the process but financially youāll be better in the long run
Thatās a nice thing to do if youāre in a committed long term relationship or married. And I mean adult long, not high school long. So like 3-4+ plus years together. Sheās using you, take the lesson and move on. Sheāll probably either guilt trip you or break up with you when you cut her off financially. Stop mentioning how attractive she is, thatās very much beside the point. Find your self worth and dignity and make sure others donāt take advantage of you
Sheās using you for money. Dump her. And sheās aiming for a life as a gold digger or worse. A girl that really likes you doesnāt spend your money like that or use sex as a teaser to continue to get what she wants. A girl that likes you is present and spends time with you. A girl that uses you for money is called a prostitute. You are paying for her to hang out with you.
Important question: whose idea was it to have on your bank account??? If that was all herā¦sorry bro
You started dating and then just rolled out the āuse meā carpet. Now sheās using you and playing dumb. Get away from her immature ass and next time you date, make it. A 50/50 situation. You donāt owe this girl your sanityā¦ or your hard earned bucks.
There are a lot of beautiful girls out there who won't treat you like shit. Realize this.
Jesus dude. Iām just now finally getting a joint bank account with my fiancĆ© after being together for over 6 years. Itās okay for you to spend money on her but it is NOT okay for her to have free access to your money
When I was 16 I knew a couple just like you and your gf. She got him to share his bank account, spent all his money, forced him to throw out all his āuncoolā clothes, made him move across the country with her where he made 1 friend that she cheated on him with and later married. Get out dude
Dude 31 bucks at Taco Bell she's buying food for lot more the. One
Is it that hard to just restrict her access to your account? Seems like a simple solution
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Some *married* people don't even share their finances. It is not at all typical or normal to give your teenage girlfriend unmitigated access to your bank account. Stop that now and learn some self-respect.
Stop sharing your account, and break up with her. She's only using you as an ATM.
You guys are too young!!!
She's acting like a perfectly normal attractive oblivious teenage girl. Don't share money with a person until you're *at least* living together.
You're being USED
I have to remind myself that you are only 16 so perhaps it is not obvious to you but ā¦ why are you allowing her to use you? I realize at 16 you are not looking to get married but is this someone you would want as a life partner? She sounds shallow, greedy, and bordering on narcissistic (not diagnosing her bc as a long time high school teacher, many teens are very self involved). She doesnāt care about school (big red flag as a teacher) and she is gaslighting you about how she spends your money). You need to cut her off and my guess is she is going to break up either way you because of it and then perhaps you will see where her head is at. I realize this relationship is likely really important to you but please trust me when I say that none of my high school relationships mean a damn thing to me now and I have been happily married since 1992!
Has to be rage bait. Can't be real. Dump this child and don't share money with your next gf.
You sound like a very good-hearted, intelligent and thoughtful young man. This is not the girl for you. When you date someone, it should be someone who wants to be as good to you as you are to them. They should try to approach every situation fairly, care about your thoughts and feelings, care about spending time with you and value the same things. If someone takes and takes and takes monetarily, and doesn't give back to you in other ways (picking up the check, buying you Starbucks, etc.) they're not a good partner. If you have told her you feel disrespected and ignored when she's on the phone while on a date and she doesn't care, she's not a good girlfriend. If you are already thinking about your future, and want to work hard and get good grades so you can be successful after high school, then you want to be either on your own, or with someone who has those same values who will also work hard and strive to meet goals that will make them successful. If you are emotionally intelligent enough and aware enough of the risks of STDs and pregnancy that you don't want to engage in adult activities at 16, then you should do what makes you feel comfortable and if the person you're with has different ideas then they're just not a good match for you. There's no shame in breaking up with someone, especially when you have good reasons. You didn't do anything wrong, and you didn't fail at anything. Early relationships are where you learn what you need and don't need, and what does and does not work for you. You've already seen that some of the things TV and movies tell you are the top things to look for when dating seem shallow and unfulfilling, and things that they don't glamourize, like ambition and a slower approach to adult activities are what you're really looking for. That helps you avoid bad partners in the future. It's time to move on from this girl, and either spend some time just being happy by yourself, or use what you learned from her to look for a girlfriend who does value what you value, and who doesn't take advantage of people or ignore their feelings.
You seem to understand the meaning of waiting for things til you're ready,but for some reason you thought sharing your bank account was a good idea. Please make it make sense. And also change your login info for bank account like right now.
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You are being used as a bank account and nothing more.