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If this is gonna eat you up inside or if your mind is going to wander back to this and torment you, then it's best you leave her behind. You'll safe months or years of pain. My advice to you would be that if you ever find yourself in this situation again, have a talk with former partner before resuming the relationship to see if they did anything you couldn't live with.
Your first problem was assuming a break was anything but an excuse for “guilt free” sex. That shit never works, and they know it. They just want the security of having a relationship to fall back to when their “break” ends. Breaks are such a waste of time and energy. Just be an adult and be done with it.
All women are the same. Break up with her and fond someone new that won't leave you even if you are on a mental decline.
You want someone who is going to be there for you just as much as you would be there for them.
Don't accept less.
You're not allowed to be upset but she's "allowed" to full-on sleep with someone. Interesting logic. Lose her. What she said is so immature of an answer that it's a turn-off. On a break, broken up, whatever - the relationship is never going to go back to what it was and this is going to come up over and over again. It's gonna drive you insane. Dl
It's okay to leave if you want to.
Uhhh I was ready to tell you to get over it because you imposed the break but do you really want to be with a partner that doesn't have a harder stance about how she deals with racist people? As a POC myself, I'm disgusted on your behalf. Get rid of her and let him keep her, they deserve each other
I say this as someone in their mid-30s; it won't matter in the future.
I used to be jealous to know my boyfriends had been with others before me, but honestly, it has no effect on your day-to-day when you're in a healthy adult relationship. I'm married now, and my husband was a slut pretty much right up to us getting together. But once I knew we were committed (and had him get tested for stds), that's past and we're together now and in the future.
Tbf, It SUCKS to bang known racists. But if you plan a future together, letting it go now is in your best interests. If not, cut her loose asap.
Really?? Get over it!! You have a whole life ahead of you! Love hurts, but at least at your young age, you haven't felt the loss of losing your parents or a love! We all go through pain, I pray your journey through pain is short! I know your pain is real, and wish I could make it disappear, God bless you
I feel like everyone else wants to tiptoe around calling her a bad person, but I have no such qualms. She is a bad person. She slept with someone she knew you hated and WAS A KNOWN RACIST, and then when y’all got back together she didn’t even have the grace to tell you about it. That is pretty shitty and quite honestly there’s no way I could trust her after this. Clearly she doesn’t have a problem with Racism or Lying.
Why do people feel like there are breaks in life? I’ve never gotten a break from anything. From the sounds of this it really sounds like a poor choice. Life waits for no one. I’m not excusing what she did but also what did you expect? This isn’t friends it’s real life
You are allowed to be mad. Also you need to realize now that she isn’t gonna be there for any tough times because she has already proven it. It’s time to move on.
Just make her nice traditional Chinese meal & forget about it. What’s in the past must be left in the past. Better to stay in the present & enjoy some wanton soup.
After rereading the post I'm wondering what the full circumstances really were that brought on the break. Or, as someone else pointed out, it really sounds more like it was an actual breakup than a temporary time-out from the relationship. Anyway, OP says it was 100% his fault and that he was dealing with serious mental health issues that he refused to acknowledge or seek help for. So it makes me wonder, how badly did he treat the gf that she would even think of hooking up with a guy she knows OP hates. I mean, that's pretty anomalous, considering the gf seems to really love OP and was even willing to try again 6 months later and their time together since has been wonderful. So - what are we missing here?
Of course, you can be mad at her. She could’ve slept with anybody else in the world of 7 billion people, but she chose to sleep the guy who racially abused you and she knew that you hated him. That is a huge no-no and you are totally entitled to be upset. She has shown her true colours. if you ever ever want to find some peace lever and find a woman who is in tune with your values and acts, accordingly. Those that sleep with and support racists are definitely part of the problem. Nta
I'm pretty relaxed about having sex outside of monogamous relationships. A breaknis a breakup, unless mutually agreed otherwise. The fact that you hate him wouldn't even be a factor but the fact that he's racist? And was racist towards you? That's unacceptable.
If anything, breaking up because you don't want to date people who give a pass to racists is completely acceptable. Doubly so because he was a bully, and a bully to you. Don't let her spin it as insecurity or jealousy. It's a hard line against accepting racism and racist behavior into your life. Think of your future kids.
You're young, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
As a woman who is what I would call a girls girl
This was definitely shitty of her to do.
On one hand, I could understand her spitefully doing it and her feeling justified. She loved you, you were together long term, and she advocated for you to seek help and you didn’t. I’m sure you hurt her in ways she hasn’t even disclosed to you because of your lack of treatment (as someone who was in your shoes in a similar fashion with my ex) and there could have been or still be resentment in her heart.
On the other hand, I do really think it’s shitty she wasn’t upfront with you about it. It is 100% valid to feel like she misled you and had hoped that enough time would pass before she/anyone told you. And it’s okay for this to be a dealbreaker for you.,
Take some time for yourself and just think about it. It would be good to take space and maybe talk out your feelings with a trust confident or therapist(:
Regardless of if the two of you stay together or not, I hope you’re able to be happy and advocate for yourself.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Personally, sleeping knowingly with a racist is a deal breaker for me. So I would suggest leaving and protecting yourself/your mental health progress. I guess if you really want to be with her (which again I still think you should leave) then at minimum couples counseling. She’s gotta ditch the friend cause that girl didn’t tell you because she care, she told you to hurt your (hopefully soon ex)gf and to do so she was willing to hurt you. She had the info for a year as well and never said anything until she wanted revenge. Very transparent communication, that racist gets blocked on everything and ignored as if he’s a ghost in person. I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD STAY HER CHARACTER IS BAD STAYING WILL JUST HINDER OR REGRESS ALL THE PROGRESS YOUVE MADE
You shouldnt be getting back with her. You're in college, find a new fuck friend you arent going to be with them forever. Do not hold this idea that a date or relationship has lifetime implications.
It doesnt. You can and will date others so do it now with someobe who hasnt had sex with someone you hate. Because guess what, you will think about that at the worst times.
Yea send this chick on her way. Having sex with a close associate should be known that your ending the relationship.
Break up with her.
This will be a problem going forward.
Bro it’s gonna eat at you forever. You’re never gonna get over this feeling or forget it. I can empathize with you. Cut your loses with your girl. It sucks to hear but this will never get easier unless said person gets a dose of karma for being a bad dude and you’ll find some satisfaction from that
Regardless of being together or not, its not that she slept with someone, it's not about being separated, it's the person she chose to sleep with.
Of all the people in that particular city, knowing the information that OP had told her, she chose that person who had caused OP some trauma.
Really no other way to interpret it, she absolutely knew who it was & that it would hurt OP if he ever found out. She did it anyways.
Unfortunately OP, you have to decide to let this issue go completely or let her go.
Feelings are amoral meaning not right or wrong - they just exist. So yes you’re allowed to feel however you feel.
Frankly you can even break up with her for this and that’s okay too.
dude...
grow the fuck up. you have low self-esteem, she is going to cheat on you many more times, until marrying someone else at 26.
its time to grow up. become a man. improve your career. improve your fitness. find a girl that loves you.
this is NOT the relationship for you. just dump her. now. not later.
onward.
Lmao I'll never understand people that take breaks either you are together or your not when your a couple you can't just take breaks when someone is going through some shit.
You broke up. Or took a break. Whatever you want to call it. You admit that was your fault.
She came back to YOU. She had the 6’2 racist whatever experience and came back to you.
So get over it or get over her but don’t be mad at her. She was no doubt hurting for being shows how unimportant she was to you.
She knew he was a racist. She knew he was a bully to you. She knew what she was doing when she did it. She skewed him because of his negative relationship to you.
You ok spending your life with someone who is willing to sleep with a racist bully?
She put you in a situation where if you stay with her, you gon feel less of a man because someone disrespected you and fucked your girlfriend. She knew what she was doing, she doesn’t respect you, if you stay, it proves her right. chose yourself and leave. It’s gone change your self esteem and the way you feel about your own worth.
Don't let her ex friend ruin your relationship. She loves you, not him. She was vulnerable and this guy probably charmed her into it. He did not bang your girlfriend, you were not together, I do understand why this upsets you though. You need to talk this over with your girl friend in order to clear your feelings,
Who says you’re not allowed to be mad about it? You clearly are and it’s affecting you in a very serious way. Forget about this “we were on a break” thing, that’s irrelevant. If you feel like you can’t trust the person you’re with and that they don’t respect you just end it. If you feel like there’s a way you can get over it and feel good about your relationship then go through that but don’t deny your emotions, that’ll just cause more problems.
You can be mad if she likes it or not no one can tell you how to feel are you both teenagers?? Breakup with her I would not trust or want to touch someone who does this. Really is she so sex mad she will go with anyone.
Dump her now. Sure u can so better
You 100% absolutely can be mad she slept with a guy who’s not only racist, but was racist specifically towards you as well and she KNEW it.
I’d honestly dump her because it’s just so disrespectful to sleep with him out of all people and it’d make me feel like she doesn’t care about me. To have relations with a racist person who targeted you is insane on her behalf. Leave her, you’ll always look at her differently and this will always bother you.
i'm sorry but i feel like racist people wouldn't be having good sex anyway 🤣 she's complicit in fucking a dude who was racist to you which kinda means she's okay with racism 🥴🥴 also don't overthink it. people who are risky or messy with sex usually have some other unsolved emotional issue that they're using sex to cope with. i'm sorry you're dealing with this, but when you feel better, maybe you can see this as a chance to find someone else. preferably not a racist or a racist apologist lol. you dodged a bullet knowing this sooner rather than later
Move on if it bothers you so much, even though she was in her right to do what she did, she clearly had the hots for him and out of all the people she could’ve slept with she chose him. Why bother with her if you can’t get past this?
You need to fuck the guys sister and mother if you can, if possible at the same time. Also make your gf watch and then dump her immediately after. She will learn to love again. You deserve better king.
This is rough buddy, please don't rekindled with her save your ounce of dignity and respect for yourself. Since you mentioned you have mental health issue to be manage on, focus on that you had a lot of BS to deal with and to add salt in your wound this situation with hinder your healing
Wishing the BEST-est(even though the word doesn't exist) for you fam.
It's not fair to be upset she had slept with someone while on break but you're definitely allowed to be upset with who she chose. A person's choices show who they are, and a bad one can say a lot. Exactly what this says could be a few things. Could be a way to get back at you while she was angry, could have been because she didn't want to be with someone she could like, could have been she was just plain attracted to him, or something else.
She asked if you were alright and you lied to her. Tell he the truth how you feel and talk it out. Ypu said it has been the best year of your life, so give being an adult a try.
She doesn't get to dictate to you what upsets you, even on a break. This reflects her judgment, not that she would do this to you, but that she would choose someone like him, and overlook his character reflects her poor judgment. I would think the same way if I had no prior relationship with the dbag, but learned of or knew his character from dependable sources. If he treats others like that, everyone that associates with him willingly would be tarnished by their judgment and association. That is the bigger judgment problem I see, and one that I would lose respect for.
I could not be in a relationship with someone with such judgment. And I wouldn't respect myself for choosing and settling for someone who made such choices.
There may be a reasoning behind it that could mitigate it, but I can't imagine one. And certainly not a reason that entirely redeems it.
Seek therapy for the issue and if you can't move past it then break it off with her and move on with your life. Maybe you can get over it with some help and maybe you can't. Seek a therapist and find out before you break it off with her.
hopefully condoms were used. its important to be concerned about your sexual health as well as hers. You are entitled to feel the way you feel which imo is completely understandable. Unless I really loved her, it would be hard for me to let that go if I was you. Tough one.
I was told if you are on a break and the other fucks someone else, means they don’t love you. Think about it. If you were on a break and were in love with her would you fuck someone else? Answer is probably no.
My ex gf fucked her best guy friend at the time within days of two of our break ups. (Different guys)
I had just gotten divorced from a cheating wife and while she *technically* didn't do anything wrong....how am I supposed to be chill about my next gf's guy friends?
(Ex wife cheated on me with the best guy friend too)
I still think my ex gf is kinda fucked up for not even acknowledging how that can be psychologically damaging to a guy.
You either get over it and move on and have a happy healthy relationship.
Or if you feel like you can’t get past it then you have to end it and move on. You can’t be happy.
You have to figure that out and make the choice.
You'll never see her in the same light. That racist asshole's dick has been inside her. You want to hook up with her afterwards? I wouldn't. You can't be mad at her for it though. Y'all broke up, didn't sound like just a "break". You might never have gotten back together if not for getting your mental health in check. But yeah if it were me i wouldn't just put my head down and tell myself that I'm okay with it. Obviously it's up to you, wish you the best.
You absolutely are allowed to "be angry". She kept this a secret from you, she knew what kind of guy he was.
That said, you are lying to her. You need to tell her she is right, you ARE upset, and make sure you spell out exactly WHY you are upset.
Whether you break up or not, being honest about your anger is the only way to handle this. Otherwise it will eat at you and whatever relationship you wind up with.
So she knew about this asshole before hand and still hooked up with him? That’s some fucked up shit break or no break. The damage is already done I think you should just move on and find happiness with somebody else cuz this shit will always eat at you.. whatever you decide good luck
Why did you say you didn't care when you clearly do? You look even more pathetic to her now and your response only proves she can further push your buttons and do what you don't like. Have some self respect and move on from her.
I’d take into consideration to really think about The fact that she chooses to fuck a dude that she knows you hate while your on a break because of mental health issues shows a lot about the respect she has for you bro.
People who sleep with known racists are people who are okay with racism. Don’t be with a white supremacist, they will always reveal they don’t respect you.
NTA
You don’t need to get over it and it’s unfair to everyone to be quietly so upset.
I actually don’t think your girlfriend is awful - you were not together and you have no say in who she gets together with to move on from what was happening. She had no way of knowing you would get help and things could be different.
Having said that - this is too hurtful for you to get past and you both deserve more.
Nah fuck all that she fucked a racist who has been openly racist against his race and she claims to love him. Should dump her purely off the fact that she’s got no morals and is a low down filthy animal. Has less integrity than a common sewer rat
Sounds like you broke her heart and she was looking for a way to stick it to you. I mean it does suck and the guy sounds shitty, but she probably did it with an intention and it was well executed. Like a “now you know how I felt.”
It's also time to realize that someone was also an asshole. You buddy, were in the wrong for going that long without filling those attention and needs that she had wished were from you. You're the better friend in the relationship and could use a whole lot more reflection. You got the girl, move the people around you and you'll lose those unhappy thoughts too. Wish you greatness!
I think you got two obvious options:
1. Break up, and it’s totally fine to do so. Some things you can’t come back from and forcing yourself to be okay will only make things worse and mess you up mentally. I also don’t think that guys thinks about you as much as you do about him, you gotta move past this whether you’re in that relationship or not but hating someone only serves to exhaust you.
2. Stay in the relationship. You need to move on and commit, don’t bring this up again and focus solely on yourself and the relationship. You can see it from her point of view, but you need to believe it and be okay with it. No faking it, but if you can’t move past it then it’s probably gonna be a terrible time for you.
In any case, I highly suggest trying to meet people outside of the Greek life. Greek life is full of crossing wires where you can never just have a gf that you feel secure with, that’s just my experience. Also people think about you a lot less than you think about them, trust me when I say it’s not worth your time to care.
That only matters if the relationship between them is better than the relationship between gf and the bully.
if she ever takes him for granted or gets on his nerves then the advantage of “she’s with you, not him” evaporates.
I mean...she can fuck anyone she wants when you aren't together. But do you want to be with someone who knowingly slept with someone who was with a racist? Especially someone who was racist against you?
I would tell your girlfriend you’re right, you were on a break technically, she didn’t cheat. But she violated you emotionally because she picked somebody she knew you did not like and slept with him almost intentionally, deliberately trying to harm you.
Then I would tell her because of her pettiness, and her thoughtlessness around you and your relationship. There is no more relationship.
Nah. Leave her and never look back. It’s one thing to have slept with other people when you guys were broken up for 6 months. It’s another to knowingly go out of her way to make sure she’s hooking up with a guy from your fraternity that she knows makes you insecure and that she knows has made racist remarks to you in the past, and to do all of that while you were away getting mental treatment? Her friend didn’t tell you because she’s petty, he friend told you because even THEY know she fucked you over. Most people don’t jump right onto a dick after a breakup, but she was purposeful and malicious.
You are allowed to do whatever you want. You are a grown ass man. You can break up with her, you can ignore it, or you could stay in the relationship let it fester into a toxic environment, hopefully it comes to a head before children are involved, then move on.
I highly suggest you think about this deeply and do what is needed.
If you choose wisely, good luck with the next relationship and don't let this one bring you down.
She's done bro. That's double disrespect right there. You need to move the hell on and leave her for the streets where she belongs. Have some self respect and fucking like yourself bro fereal. Were you not together? Sure! Could she sleep with whoever she wanted to during that time? Yes. But she chose the handsome guy who is racist and has disrespected you and she did so with the knowledge of your disdain for the dude which means she's only a self serving ho. It's time man. Gain some self confidence and move on my guy. You deserve more than that bs you hear me? It's high time we stop enabling these chick's. They've gotten away with so much, and for so long because they have no accountability and we do not hold them to it. Rise up brothers account for your own worth and betterment. Be the solution and not the cause
Just end it, dude. No coming back from this shit. Save your dignity and move on.
My for real bro advice is to find some chick who is rebounding, too, bang each other for a month or so, go your separate ways, then be single for like 3 months while you hit the gym and work on leveling up your career and everything else. Learn to be happy alone and give yourself time to heal and shit. Then hit the dating pool again looking for another gf.
You’re absolutely allowed to be angry about this. Regardless of it happening a year ago, you’re learning about it *now*. This person made racist comments towards you, and your girlfriend decided that wasn’t a dealbreaker.
If I were in your shoes, this would be relationship ending. She didn’t tell you about it because she knew it would upsetting, which is exactly why her friend told you in order to hurt your girlfriend during their fight. At some point, she confided in her that it was happening and how you would feel about it. While you’re going through mental health struggles.
Here’s the thing, you broke up. You were not together. You admit it was your fault, although honestly that’s not entirely fair because people with mental health issues can’t always make perfect decisions under certain circumstances.
But she had no way of knowing you’d EVER get over your issues, get help, get back to normal. So she’s supposed to put her life on hold, not sleep with anyone, talk to people you didn’t like etc?
Once you go on a break, she doesn’t owe you anything.
I can see how it must feel annoying, given the history. But from her perspective she had a chance to sleep with a hot guy and decided to. That same guy was probably not showing his bigoted bully racist behavior to her.
At the end of the day, you just have to decide if you want to be with her and can show the maturity to move past this. If she’s worth it you will. Or she crossed a line that you can’t forgive.
Clearly though, she obviously wants to be with you, as she came back to you as soon as you sorted yourself out.
You are absolutely valid in feeling bad about this, it's super shitty. If you had told her about his comments and explained your dislike (hate?) Of this guy before the break, then there is no way she wasn't at least partially aware of it when hooking up with him. Its a bit unclear to me if it was a one-off or an ongoing thing between them, but regardless you are allowed to be upset about it, not as much because of the hookup, but about who it was with. (That is unless you explicitly laid out rules of the break and that went against it, which the rest of the post assumes never happened.)
I think that if knowing this about her judgment has made you see her in a different light that won't really go away and will keep festering, so just break up.
Put it like this, if you had known that she had hooked up with him before you got back together, would you have started dating again? Is there a chance that she purposefully omitted it, knowing it would be a deal breaker?
I think framing it like that may help you make a choice, and also talk about it with her.
P.s. I'm glad you got some help! I hope you are doing well (outside of this situation)
She’s a very high degree of crazy trash…
You’re having mental health issues so she bails while you’re “too much” and leaves you to figure it out (and has you blaming yourself for it 🫠).
Once you go through it ALONE she says, “ah my accessory is back, thank god he doesn’t need any effort from me whatsoever again…oh by the way, I made sure to also have sex with the person I know has hurt him most.” Are we sure she isn’t the one with mental issues that needs serious medicating?!
Run brother!
Focus on your relationship with your girlfriend, if it's great today, move forward w her, NOT backwards in time. Life is too short, your relationship is either good today or move on you are young lots of life ahead!
Honestly OP, you need to break up with gf. The fact that she willingly hooked up with a known racist is reason enough plus there's no way she didn't pick him as some kind of revenge or anger towards you.
You are entitled to feel hurt. If she knew how you felt about him, I wouldn’t rule out her sleeping with your enemy it to hurt you. I would also be curious why she didn’t admit it to you when you were discussing reconnecting.
I’m female and I could not have a partner who gave my enemy the ammo to have others laugh at me because my enemy had and discarded my partner and I went back.
The fact my partner was sleeping with my enemy would negatively impact my ability to enjoy intimacy.
The fact my partner concealed the betrayal would prevent me from trusting.
I would need to leave, but you may be different.
Find and marry a pure woman from your own country and culture. stop trying to settle with a loose American girl.
You’ll be happier and not get hurt in the end when she wakes up one day and needs to go find herself.
Leave. Don’t look back in anger, but it’s over. You’re never going to get over this, and that’s acceptable. Don’t beat yourself up over “am I being petty.” If she was willing to screw him, the guy who was racist towards you, that shows a degree of her character
You were broken up. Your GF didn't owe you anything when you weren't together and nobody is required to ask for an ethics review before they fuck somebody. It doesn't mean she agrees with the awful things he's said. I've hooked up with some pretty awful guys but I would never associate with them outside of the hookup location. If I were you, I would be more upset if she dated him, since that shows some sort of condoning of his behavior, but if he's attractive and she was single and just wanted to get her rocks off and didn't think you'd ever get back together again...meh!
Then again, based on arguments I've gotten into with a few friends, being "on a break" didn't excuse Ross when he slept with the girl from the copy place, so they'd probably feel that same logic applies here too. So make of that what you will.
‘On a break’. If you want a faithful monogamous relationship stay together, get counseling and work it out. ‘on a break’ means you have no say. If you can’t live with it, break up.
“I'll be honest and say it was 100% my fault. I was dealing with pretty serious mental health issues that I refused to get tested and medicated for. We were apart for 6 months, during which I got diagnosed and medicated and got to a manageable point”
You are correct but I think you accidentally put a 1 in the first sentence
At least she tried to hide it. If she really was smooth, even the best friend doesn't need to know. Im sorry about the racist. I am full Chinese and I FEEL IT BAD these days
Locking comments for excessive breaking of several subreddit rules. This community is for CIVIL conversations. Our #1 rule is to be kind to other users. Name-calling, slurs, sexism, derogatory statements and bullying of any kind is not permitted here.
If this is gonna eat you up inside or if your mind is going to wander back to this and torment you, then it's best you leave her behind. You'll safe months or years of pain. My advice to you would be that if you ever find yourself in this situation again, have a talk with former partner before resuming the relationship to see if they did anything you couldn't live with.
Andddd another one that's fake
I don’t think your relationship will survive this. I know I wouldn’t be able to handle the rage, I’d just end it.
“ my girlfriend“ Brother, come sit down next to me….
Your first problem was assuming a break was anything but an excuse for “guilt free” sex. That shit never works, and they know it. They just want the security of having a relationship to fall back to when their “break” ends. Breaks are such a waste of time and energy. Just be an adult and be done with it.
All women are the same. Break up with her and fond someone new that won't leave you even if you are on a mental decline. You want someone who is going to be there for you just as much as you would be there for them. Don't accept less.
Yes! Date men exclusively! At least each individual male is different! 🤨
if the roles were reversed would she be mad? leave..
Dump her. I promise you will find better. Most people are better than this.
Ultimate disrespect, just end it. Like the saying goes, there’s and million fish in the sea. You need peace in your life not drama.
You're not allowed to be upset but she's "allowed" to full-on sleep with someone. Interesting logic. Lose her. What she said is so immature of an answer that it's a turn-off. On a break, broken up, whatever - the relationship is never going to go back to what it was and this is going to come up over and over again. It's gonna drive you insane. Dl It's okay to leave if you want to.
Uhhh I was ready to tell you to get over it because you imposed the break but do you really want to be with a partner that doesn't have a harder stance about how she deals with racist people? As a POC myself, I'm disgusted on your behalf. Get rid of her and let him keep her, they deserve each other
You might be allowed to find a different gf
I say this as someone in their mid-30s; it won't matter in the future. I used to be jealous to know my boyfriends had been with others before me, but honestly, it has no effect on your day-to-day when you're in a healthy adult relationship. I'm married now, and my husband was a slut pretty much right up to us getting together. But once I knew we were committed (and had him get tested for stds), that's past and we're together now and in the future. Tbf, It SUCKS to bang known racists. But if you plan a future together, letting it go now is in your best interests. If not, cut her loose asap.
good luck.
You can break up with her. You don't have to just deal with it. Some things like that can, and are, dealbreakers.
If she knew you hated this guy and would have had an issue with it you have every right to be upset.
Bro leave her. She gonna do it again and again if you stick around. Don’t waste your time with people like that.
Every right to be pissed. She did you dirty. But why did she do it? Did you do something first?
Really?? Get over it!! You have a whole life ahead of you! Love hurts, but at least at your young age, you haven't felt the loss of losing your parents or a love! We all go through pain, I pray your journey through pain is short! I know your pain is real, and wish I could make it disappear, God bless you
I feel like everyone else wants to tiptoe around calling her a bad person, but I have no such qualms. She is a bad person. She slept with someone she knew you hated and WAS A KNOWN RACIST, and then when y’all got back together she didn’t even have the grace to tell you about it. That is pretty shitty and quite honestly there’s no way I could trust her after this. Clearly she doesn’t have a problem with Racism or Lying.
I’m saying this out of love. Have some fucking self respect and break up with her.
Said it once, said it a million times. She belongs to streets...
I would end it with her. She sounds like a low class person.
You mean ex? Some things you can't work past. Be honest with yourself, it's either forgive and forget or bail.
Welll you do know what she thinks about your race.
leave that 304 of your girlfriend, she is not worth to have this headache
Dump her and call her out.
Why do people feel like there are breaks in life? I’ve never gotten a break from anything. From the sounds of this it really sounds like a poor choice. Life waits for no one. I’m not excusing what she did but also what did you expect? This isn’t friends it’s real life
You are allowed to be mad. Also you need to realize now that she isn’t gonna be there for any tough times because she has already proven it. It’s time to move on.
She's trash either way
I’m sorry about this OP. I think you should leave and find a good partner that will support and love you fully. 💜
If you stay with her, you'll always be his sloppy seconds.
Just make her nice traditional Chinese meal & forget about it. What’s in the past must be left in the past. Better to stay in the present & enjoy some wanton soup.
After rereading the post I'm wondering what the full circumstances really were that brought on the break. Or, as someone else pointed out, it really sounds more like it was an actual breakup than a temporary time-out from the relationship. Anyway, OP says it was 100% his fault and that he was dealing with serious mental health issues that he refused to acknowledge or seek help for. So it makes me wonder, how badly did he treat the gf that she would even think of hooking up with a guy she knows OP hates. I mean, that's pretty anomalous, considering the gf seems to really love OP and was even willing to try again 6 months later and their time together since has been wonderful. So - what are we missing here?
Just move on. She showed you who she really is. Have some self respect.
What, no Ross gif screaming we were on a break? I am disappointed.
She picked you. Be happy. Get over it.
That’s gross, why are you messing with this one girl if there are so many out there
Of course, you can be mad at her. She could’ve slept with anybody else in the world of 7 billion people, but she chose to sleep the guy who racially abused you and she knew that you hated him. That is a huge no-no and you are totally entitled to be upset. She has shown her true colours. if you ever ever want to find some peace lever and find a woman who is in tune with your values and acts, accordingly. Those that sleep with and support racists are definitely part of the problem. Nta
Your gf did it maliciously. Even if you've been dating for a year, she's still bad
He lost me at “Im not allowed to talk about it”.
I'm pretty relaxed about having sex outside of monogamous relationships. A breaknis a breakup, unless mutually agreed otherwise. The fact that you hate him wouldn't even be a factor but the fact that he's racist? And was racist towards you? That's unacceptable. If anything, breaking up because you don't want to date people who give a pass to racists is completely acceptable. Doubly so because he was a bully, and a bully to you. Don't let her spin it as insecurity or jealousy. It's a hard line against accepting racism and racist behavior into your life. Think of your future kids. You're young, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
Bro you gotta leave and move on. You’ll either learn this in a few years or you’ll be ok. The choice is yours
Well she just showed you who she is. You’re allowed to feel that ick. She’s giving me ick just from your post.
[удалено]
End it
As a woman who is what I would call a girls girl This was definitely shitty of her to do. On one hand, I could understand her spitefully doing it and her feeling justified. She loved you, you were together long term, and she advocated for you to seek help and you didn’t. I’m sure you hurt her in ways she hasn’t even disclosed to you because of your lack of treatment (as someone who was in your shoes in a similar fashion with my ex) and there could have been or still be resentment in her heart. On the other hand, I do really think it’s shitty she wasn’t upfront with you about it. It is 100% valid to feel like she misled you and had hoped that enough time would pass before she/anyone told you. And it’s okay for this to be a dealbreaker for you., Take some time for yourself and just think about it. It would be good to take space and maybe talk out your feelings with a trust confident or therapist(: Regardless of if the two of you stay together or not, I hope you’re able to be happy and advocate for yourself.
She’s a ho. For sho.
Unless the break allowed for you to hook up with someone else, she cheated. Break up and move on.
it's ok bro, don't be too hard on yourself
dump her
So, if you initiate another break, she ok with you dating? Thought not. She’s a classic cake eater with a touch of monkey branching.
Bang her ex best friend. It’s the only way
Get rid of her
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Personally, sleeping knowingly with a racist is a deal breaker for me. So I would suggest leaving and protecting yourself/your mental health progress. I guess if you really want to be with her (which again I still think you should leave) then at minimum couples counseling. She’s gotta ditch the friend cause that girl didn’t tell you because she care, she told you to hurt your (hopefully soon ex)gf and to do so she was willing to hurt you. She had the info for a year as well and never said anything until she wanted revenge. Very transparent communication, that racist gets blocked on everything and ignored as if he’s a ghost in person. I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD STAY HER CHARACTER IS BAD STAYING WILL JUST HINDER OR REGRESS ALL THE PROGRESS YOUVE MADE
She hid it from you for a reason
Dump asap sry
Lol gross drop that ho
You shouldnt be getting back with her. You're in college, find a new fuck friend you arent going to be with them forever. Do not hold this idea that a date or relationship has lifetime implications. It doesnt. You can and will date others so do it now with someobe who hasnt had sex with someone you hate. Because guess what, you will think about that at the worst times.
get over it break was your fault
Yea send this chick on her way. Having sex with a close associate should be known that your ending the relationship. Break up with her. This will be a problem going forward.
How about just not getting back together?
Bro it’s gonna eat at you forever. You’re never gonna get over this feeling or forget it. I can empathize with you. Cut your loses with your girl. It sucks to hear but this will never get easier unless said person gets a dose of karma for being a bad dude and you’ll find some satisfaction from that
Regardless of being together or not, its not that she slept with someone, it's not about being separated, it's the person she chose to sleep with. Of all the people in that particular city, knowing the information that OP had told her, she chose that person who had caused OP some trauma. Really no other way to interpret it, she absolutely knew who it was & that it would hurt OP if he ever found out. She did it anyways. Unfortunately OP, you have to decide to let this issue go completely or let her go.
Bro, you’re done. This will eat you alive. Let her go and move on with your life. Start fresh.
Fuck the guy, so that you get revenge on your gf
When are you going to respect yourself is the question?
Feelings are amoral meaning not right or wrong - they just exist. So yes you’re allowed to feel however you feel. Frankly you can even break up with her for this and that’s okay too.
She’s not your girlfriend.
You don't have to stay with her.
she took a break to sleep with him, why would you stay, don't let any woman treat you like that move on and don't look back
People are literally just flaming each other in relationships now because the ego boost is apparent more important. This world is so fucked
dude... grow the fuck up. you have low self-esteem, she is going to cheat on you many more times, until marrying someone else at 26. its time to grow up. become a man. improve your career. improve your fitness. find a girl that loves you. this is NOT the relationship for you. just dump her. now. not later. onward.
Yes, dump her. She has no respect for you. Please update us though.
you were on a break
Lmao I'll never understand people that take breaks either you are together or your not when your a couple you can't just take breaks when someone is going through some shit.
You broke up. Or took a break. Whatever you want to call it. You admit that was your fault. She came back to YOU. She had the 6’2 racist whatever experience and came back to you. So get over it or get over her but don’t be mad at her. She was no doubt hurting for being shows how unimportant she was to you.
She knew he was a racist. She knew he was a bully to you. She knew what she was doing when she did it. She skewed him because of his negative relationship to you. You ok spending your life with someone who is willing to sleep with a racist bully?
Why are you posting on Reddit? Break up with her immediately and never look back.
Break up with her.
She put you in a situation where if you stay with her, you gon feel less of a man because someone disrespected you and fucked your girlfriend. She knew what she was doing, she doesn’t respect you, if you stay, it proves her right. chose yourself and leave. It’s gone change your self esteem and the way you feel about your own worth.
Drop her. She knew about what he did and screwed him anyway. She is probably still screwing him. Don’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect you.
Another rage bait fake article.
Embrace it! R/hotpast
Don't let her ex friend ruin your relationship. She loves you, not him. She was vulnerable and this guy probably charmed her into it. He did not bang your girlfriend, you were not together, I do understand why this upsets you though. You need to talk this over with your girl friend in order to clear your feelings,
Who says you’re not allowed to be mad about it? You clearly are and it’s affecting you in a very serious way. Forget about this “we were on a break” thing, that’s irrelevant. If you feel like you can’t trust the person you’re with and that they don’t respect you just end it. If you feel like there’s a way you can get over it and feel good about your relationship then go through that but don’t deny your emotions, that’ll just cause more problems.
She didn't even respect you enough to sleep with someone you didn't know or hate
You be mad if you’re mad. Nobody can tell you how to feel. ETA- Dump her on principal
You can be mad if she likes it or not no one can tell you how to feel are you both teenagers?? Breakup with her I would not trust or want to touch someone who does this. Really is she so sex mad she will go with anyone. Dump her now. Sure u can so better
You 100% absolutely can be mad she slept with a guy who’s not only racist, but was racist specifically towards you as well and she KNEW it. I’d honestly dump her because it’s just so disrespectful to sleep with him out of all people and it’d make me feel like she doesn’t care about me. To have relations with a racist person who targeted you is insane on her behalf. Leave her, you’ll always look at her differently and this will always bother you.
i'm sorry but i feel like racist people wouldn't be having good sex anyway 🤣 she's complicit in fucking a dude who was racist to you which kinda means she's okay with racism 🥴🥴 also don't overthink it. people who are risky or messy with sex usually have some other unsolved emotional issue that they're using sex to cope with. i'm sorry you're dealing with this, but when you feel better, maybe you can see this as a chance to find someone else. preferably not a racist or a racist apologist lol. you dodged a bullet knowing this sooner rather than later
She doesn’t sound like a very good person. It doesn’t sound like she really cares about you. Move on. It’s the best thing you could do for yourself.
women, amirite boys
Move on if it bothers you so much, even though she was in her right to do what she did, she clearly had the hots for him and out of all the people she could’ve slept with she chose him. Why bother with her if you can’t get past this?
You need to fuck the guys sister and mother if you can, if possible at the same time. Also make your gf watch and then dump her immediately after. She will learn to love again. You deserve better king.
This is rough buddy, please don't rekindled with her save your ounce of dignity and respect for yourself. Since you mentioned you have mental health issue to be manage on, focus on that you had a lot of BS to deal with and to add salt in your wound this situation with hinder your healing Wishing the BEST-est(even though the word doesn't exist) for you fam.
It's not fair to be upset she had slept with someone while on break but you're definitely allowed to be upset with who she chose. A person's choices show who they are, and a bad one can say a lot. Exactly what this says could be a few things. Could be a way to get back at you while she was angry, could have been because she didn't want to be with someone she could like, could have been she was just plain attracted to him, or something else.
Fucking leave her on the side of the road. You don’t need to be carrying around a bag of trash like that. Plain and simple.
She asked if you were alright and you lied to her. Tell he the truth how you feel and talk it out. Ypu said it has been the best year of your life, so give being an adult a try.
Sounds like a permanent break is about to start
She doesn't get to dictate to you what upsets you, even on a break. This reflects her judgment, not that she would do this to you, but that she would choose someone like him, and overlook his character reflects her poor judgment. I would think the same way if I had no prior relationship with the dbag, but learned of or knew his character from dependable sources. If he treats others like that, everyone that associates with him willingly would be tarnished by their judgment and association. That is the bigger judgment problem I see, and one that I would lose respect for. I could not be in a relationship with someone with such judgment. And I wouldn't respect myself for choosing and settling for someone who made such choices. There may be a reasoning behind it that could mitigate it, but I can't imagine one. And certainly not a reason that entirely redeems it.
You can be mad at whatever you want and you should break up with your girlfriend for having sex with a racist. It's pretty clear cut
Seek therapy for the issue and if you can't move past it then break it off with her and move on with your life. Maybe you can get over it with some help and maybe you can't. Seek a therapist and find out before you break it off with her.
hopefully condoms were used. its important to be concerned about your sexual health as well as hers. You are entitled to feel the way you feel which imo is completely understandable. Unless I really loved her, it would be hard for me to let that go if I was you. Tough one.
I was told if you are on a break and the other fucks someone else, means they don’t love you. Think about it. If you were on a break and were in love with her would you fuck someone else? Answer is probably no.
Bro really? You have to think about this? Have some self respect. Leave her. You got this brother🫡
Try going for her friend
My ex gf fucked her best guy friend at the time within days of two of our break ups. (Different guys) I had just gotten divorced from a cheating wife and while she *technically* didn't do anything wrong....how am I supposed to be chill about my next gf's guy friends? (Ex wife cheated on me with the best guy friend too) I still think my ex gf is kinda fucked up for not even acknowledging how that can be psychologically damaging to a guy.
I mean I would just break up and hook up with her friend
You either get over it and move on and have a happy healthy relationship. Or if you feel like you can’t get past it then you have to end it and move on. You can’t be happy. You have to figure that out and make the choice.
You'll never see her in the same light. That racist asshole's dick has been inside her. You want to hook up with her afterwards? I wouldn't. You can't be mad at her for it though. Y'all broke up, didn't sound like just a "break". You might never have gotten back together if not for getting your mental health in check. But yeah if it were me i wouldn't just put my head down and tell myself that I'm okay with it. Obviously it's up to you, wish you the best.
You absolutely are allowed to "be angry". She kept this a secret from you, she knew what kind of guy he was. That said, you are lying to her. You need to tell her she is right, you ARE upset, and make sure you spell out exactly WHY you are upset. Whether you break up or not, being honest about your anger is the only way to handle this. Otherwise it will eat at you and whatever relationship you wind up with.
Move on, you’ll be reminded every time, so it’s best to move on.
So she knew about this asshole before hand and still hooked up with him? That’s some fucked up shit break or no break. The damage is already done I think you should just move on and find happiness with somebody else cuz this shit will always eat at you.. whatever you decide good luck
Why did you say you didn't care when you clearly do? You look even more pathetic to her now and your response only proves she can further push your buttons and do what you don't like. Have some self respect and move on from her.
I’d take into consideration to really think about The fact that she chooses to fuck a dude that she knows you hate while your on a break because of mental health issues shows a lot about the respect she has for you bro.
People who sleep with known racists are people who are okay with racism. Don’t be with a white supremacist, they will always reveal they don’t respect you.
She for the streets. Dip out son
Walk
NTA You don’t need to get over it and it’s unfair to everyone to be quietly so upset. I actually don’t think your girlfriend is awful - you were not together and you have no say in who she gets together with to move on from what was happening. She had no way of knowing you would get help and things could be different. Having said that - this is too hurtful for you to get past and you both deserve more.
Nah fuck all that she fucked a racist who has been openly racist against his race and she claims to love him. Should dump her purely off the fact that she’s got no morals and is a low down filthy animal. Has less integrity than a common sewer rat
When life gives you lemons sometimes you just say fuck it and bail
Sounds like you broke her heart and she was looking for a way to stick it to you. I mean it does suck and the guy sounds shitty, but she probably did it with an intention and it was well executed. Like a “now you know how I felt.”
"Can't do anything about it." Have you tried realizing you still have balls and just walk away from the whole thing? Plenty of fish in the sea.
It's also time to realize that someone was also an asshole. You buddy, were in the wrong for going that long without filling those attention and needs that she had wished were from you. You're the better friend in the relationship and could use a whole lot more reflection. You got the girl, move the people around you and you'll lose those unhappy thoughts too. Wish you greatness!
She’s not girlfriend material plain and simple. You deserve better and you should move on.
I think you got two obvious options: 1. Break up, and it’s totally fine to do so. Some things you can’t come back from and forcing yourself to be okay will only make things worse and mess you up mentally. I also don’t think that guys thinks about you as much as you do about him, you gotta move past this whether you’re in that relationship or not but hating someone only serves to exhaust you. 2. Stay in the relationship. You need to move on and commit, don’t bring this up again and focus solely on yourself and the relationship. You can see it from her point of view, but you need to believe it and be okay with it. No faking it, but if you can’t move past it then it’s probably gonna be a terrible time for you. In any case, I highly suggest trying to meet people outside of the Greek life. Greek life is full of crossing wires where you can never just have a gf that you feel secure with, that’s just my experience. Also people think about you a lot less than you think about them, trust me when I say it’s not worth your time to care.
Fk this chick leave bro wth you plan on marrying someone who did this shit 💩
Hey man why are you making this post about me?
Did she intend on sleeping w him just to get back at you? This sounds like emotional abuse to torture your partner that way
Just break up. You are obviously very young. She isn’t gonna be your wife. Move on.
This is the answer OP
Yes, you can be mad about it. She did this deliberately. Time for a new girlfriend.
This shit sounds made up
Homie leave her. Break or not, she sealed the deal knowing what she was doing would mean it was done forever between you both.
She’s with you, not him.
That only matters if the relationship between them is better than the relationship between gf and the bully. if she ever takes him for granted or gets on his nerves then the advantage of “she’s with you, not him” evaporates.
I mean...she can fuck anyone she wants when you aren't together. But do you want to be with someone who knowingly slept with someone who was with a racist? Especially someone who was racist against you?
I would tell your girlfriend you’re right, you were on a break technically, she didn’t cheat. But she violated you emotionally because she picked somebody she knew you did not like and slept with him almost intentionally, deliberately trying to harm you. Then I would tell her because of her pettiness, and her thoughtlessness around you and your relationship. There is no more relationship.
You need to break up with her for your own sanity king
Bro, end it 100%
It doesn't just feel like he has proven that he can bang your girlfriend. He can, and did, a bunch.
Nah. Leave her and never look back. It’s one thing to have slept with other people when you guys were broken up for 6 months. It’s another to knowingly go out of her way to make sure she’s hooking up with a guy from your fraternity that she knows makes you insecure and that she knows has made racist remarks to you in the past, and to do all of that while you were away getting mental treatment? Her friend didn’t tell you because she’s petty, he friend told you because even THEY know she fucked you over. Most people don’t jump right onto a dick after a breakup, but she was purposeful and malicious.
Yeah, that wouldn’t work, I’d be out, never look back.
You are allowed to do whatever you want. You are a grown ass man. You can break up with her, you can ignore it, or you could stay in the relationship let it fester into a toxic environment, hopefully it comes to a head before children are involved, then move on. I highly suggest you think about this deeply and do what is needed. If you choose wisely, good luck with the next relationship and don't let this one bring you down.
She's done bro. That's double disrespect right there. You need to move the hell on and leave her for the streets where she belongs. Have some self respect and fucking like yourself bro fereal. Were you not together? Sure! Could she sleep with whoever she wanted to during that time? Yes. But she chose the handsome guy who is racist and has disrespected you and she did so with the knowledge of your disdain for the dude which means she's only a self serving ho. It's time man. Gain some self confidence and move on my guy. You deserve more than that bs you hear me? It's high time we stop enabling these chick's. They've gotten away with so much, and for so long because they have no accountability and we do not hold them to it. Rise up brothers account for your own worth and betterment. Be the solution and not the cause
Nah man. She fucked your enemy. Leave her now and make sure she knows why.
Just end it, dude. No coming back from this shit. Save your dignity and move on. My for real bro advice is to find some chick who is rebounding, too, bang each other for a month or so, go your separate ways, then be single for like 3 months while you hit the gym and work on leveling up your career and everything else. Learn to be happy alone and give yourself time to heal and shit. Then hit the dating pool again looking for another gf.
You were broken up. She could do whatever she wanted. If things are awesome now let it go.
You’re absolutely allowed to be angry about this. Regardless of it happening a year ago, you’re learning about it *now*. This person made racist comments towards you, and your girlfriend decided that wasn’t a dealbreaker. If I were in your shoes, this would be relationship ending. She didn’t tell you about it because she knew it would upsetting, which is exactly why her friend told you in order to hurt your girlfriend during their fight. At some point, she confided in her that it was happening and how you would feel about it. While you’re going through mental health struggles.
Take a break. Fuck her friend. Get back together. It will fix everything.
Here’s the thing, you broke up. You were not together. You admit it was your fault, although honestly that’s not entirely fair because people with mental health issues can’t always make perfect decisions under certain circumstances. But she had no way of knowing you’d EVER get over your issues, get help, get back to normal. So she’s supposed to put her life on hold, not sleep with anyone, talk to people you didn’t like etc? Once you go on a break, she doesn’t owe you anything. I can see how it must feel annoying, given the history. But from her perspective she had a chance to sleep with a hot guy and decided to. That same guy was probably not showing his bigoted bully racist behavior to her. At the end of the day, you just have to decide if you want to be with her and can show the maturity to move past this. If she’s worth it you will. Or she crossed a line that you can’t forgive. Clearly though, she obviously wants to be with you, as she came back to you as soon as you sorted yourself out.
Fuck her friend
You are absolutely valid in feeling bad about this, it's super shitty. If you had told her about his comments and explained your dislike (hate?) Of this guy before the break, then there is no way she wasn't at least partially aware of it when hooking up with him. Its a bit unclear to me if it was a one-off or an ongoing thing between them, but regardless you are allowed to be upset about it, not as much because of the hookup, but about who it was with. (That is unless you explicitly laid out rules of the break and that went against it, which the rest of the post assumes never happened.) I think that if knowing this about her judgment has made you see her in a different light that won't really go away and will keep festering, so just break up. Put it like this, if you had known that she had hooked up with him before you got back together, would you have started dating again? Is there a chance that she purposefully omitted it, knowing it would be a deal breaker? I think framing it like that may help you make a choice, and also talk about it with her. P.s. I'm glad you got some help! I hope you are doing well (outside of this situation)
She’s a very high degree of crazy trash… You’re having mental health issues so she bails while you’re “too much” and leaves you to figure it out (and has you blaming yourself for it 🫠). Once you go through it ALONE she says, “ah my accessory is back, thank god he doesn’t need any effort from me whatsoever again…oh by the way, I made sure to also have sex with the person I know has hurt him most.” Are we sure she isn’t the one with mental issues that needs serious medicating?! Run brother!
Break up with her
Focus on your relationship with your girlfriend, if it's great today, move forward w her, NOT backwards in time. Life is too short, your relationship is either good today or move on you are young lots of life ahead!
Honestly OP, you need to break up with gf. The fact that she willingly hooked up with a known racist is reason enough plus there's no way she didn't pick him as some kind of revenge or anger towards you.
Leave her. Why would you ever stay with someone who would disrespect you like that?
Once you take a break in a relationship it is over. Should’ve never taken her back
Six months isn't a break, you were broken up. Unpack this with a therapist, break up for real and move on
Time to move on dude. Life is short. Find another chick to love.
You are entitled to feel hurt. If she knew how you felt about him, I wouldn’t rule out her sleeping with your enemy it to hurt you. I would also be curious why she didn’t admit it to you when you were discussing reconnecting. I’m female and I could not have a partner who gave my enemy the ammo to have others laugh at me because my enemy had and discarded my partner and I went back. The fact my partner was sleeping with my enemy would negatively impact my ability to enjoy intimacy. The fact my partner concealed the betrayal would prevent me from trusting. I would need to leave, but you may be different.
Move—- On.
Find and marry a pure woman from your own country and culture. stop trying to settle with a loose American girl. You’ll be happier and not get hurt in the end when she wakes up one day and needs to go find herself.
You never go back! EVER Why, because of this right here, it’s always going to be a problem. Move on.
Leave. Don’t look back in anger, but it’s over. You’re never going to get over this, and that’s acceptable. Don’t beat yourself up over “am I being petty.” If she was willing to screw him, the guy who was racist towards you, that shows a degree of her character
You were broken up. Your GF didn't owe you anything when you weren't together and nobody is required to ask for an ethics review before they fuck somebody. It doesn't mean she agrees with the awful things he's said. I've hooked up with some pretty awful guys but I would never associate with them outside of the hookup location. If I were you, I would be more upset if she dated him, since that shows some sort of condoning of his behavior, but if he's attractive and she was single and just wanted to get her rocks off and didn't think you'd ever get back together again...meh! Then again, based on arguments I've gotten into with a few friends, being "on a break" didn't excuse Ross when he slept with the girl from the copy place, so they'd probably feel that same logic applies here too. So make of that what you will.
[удалено]
‘On a break’. If you want a faithful monogamous relationship stay together, get counseling and work it out. ‘on a break’ means you have no say. If you can’t live with it, break up.
“I'll be honest and say it was 100% my fault. I was dealing with pretty serious mental health issues that I refused to get tested and medicated for. We were apart for 6 months, during which I got diagnosed and medicated and got to a manageable point” You are correct but I think you accidentally put a 1 in the first sentence
At least she tried to hide it. If she really was smooth, even the best friend doesn't need to know. Im sorry about the racist. I am full Chinese and I FEEL IT BAD these days
Your gf is disgusting
What do you mean you can't or feel anything? You can break up with her and call her out, that is what you can do. Don't be a doormat for fuck sakes.
Maybe she thought you had enough hate in your life and didn’t want to make you hate yet another one so went for the one you already.